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utterlassitude · 2 months
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{feb. 19th , 2024}
//Honestly, as someone’s who main art medium is photography, I’m actually pissed my university took away the more advanced/creative photography course that I could take and only kept the beginner one /:
I was looking forward to this class for 2 1/2 years /:
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utterlassitude · 3 months
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{feb. 8th, 2024}
// becoming an art teacher just makes me realize how crappy all my early education art teachers were /:
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utterlassitude · 3 months
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{feb. 6th, 2024}
//why do I expect so much from myself
When it always leads to disappointment and guilt
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utterlassitude · 4 months
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[dec 24th 2023]
// can’t stand not being independent
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utterlassitude · 4 months
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[ Dec 24th, 2023]
//whoever invented toilets made one mistake and that is making it the absolute echo chamber that it is
Ripping surround sound ass over here
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utterlassitude · 4 months
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[Dec. 19th, 2023]
// I am the worst
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utterlassitude · 5 months
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[ Dec. 13th, 2023]
// it only hurts because I can’t help but imagine what could have been. All the conversation we could have had, how much those conversation could help us understand ourselves. All the meals we could have eaten together. All the fast food runs we could have made against moms wishes. All the family dinners in the living room. Movie nights. Long car rides.
We could have been so close
I guess neither of us wanted it enough
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utterlassitude · 5 months
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[ Dec. 6th, 2023]
//I often catch myself listening to others conversations and emoting along with them even though I’m 0% involved and nothing makes me feel more socially isolated, awkward and intimidated than realizing that in the moment.
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utterlassitude · 5 months
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[ Dec. 5th, 2023]
// I hate starting my period, it just feels like I constantly have to shit
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utterlassitude · 5 months
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[Dec. 1st, 2023]
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//progress pictures and the finished painting of a figure painting I just finished
I feel very good about this painting I think I’ve improved a lot with oil paints in just the last month or two. Sorry for any weird textures/lighting differences in the pictures, life is hard lol
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utterlassitude · 5 months
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[ Nov. 29th, 2023]
// so desperately need a break from my day to day life. Just tired
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utterlassitude · 5 months
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[ Nov. 26th, 2023]
// today I hate being an artist. I put so much effort, time and emotion into the things I create just for them rarely to be liked by myself. I can’t stop hating everything I make, there’s always room for improvement and someone doing better things how could I ever be satisfied with this skill
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utterlassitude · 5 months
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[Nov. 25th, 2023]
//working on another oil painting for class, here are the progress pictures from about 5 hours of working. Don’t know why the pictures have that texture, promise it doesn’t look like that irl lol
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utterlassitude · 5 months
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[Nov. 23rd, 2023]
//Happy Thanksgiving! Doodles I did at work this morning (:
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utterlassitude · 5 months
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[ Nov. 21st, 2023]
If nothing else from my life or existence is remembered or treasured, I hope my art is..
I won’t be able to take it if it’s not.
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utterlassitude · 5 months
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[Nov. 20th, 2023]
//Boyfriend did some coloring pages with me to compare how we color the same thing (: I also did two extra on my own cause I was having so much fun ! I think his color pages are so cute I love seeing how his mind works
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utterlassitude · 5 months
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[ Nov. 20, 2023]
// pictures of existence recently.
For my painting class I had to paint the ground and a movie scene, I visited the museum a few times and have enjoyed existence with my boyfriend
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