tr1ppykay

[tr1ppykay]

hey boss i can't come in today it's a sunny day and there's a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it's rustling the branches of the tree outside that's finally bloomed so it's pretty serious

#mecore

[tr1ppykay]

They’re Not “Playersexual”, You’re Just Biphobic

(I was going to save this until September 23 because I thought that would be an appropriate date, but the Ask I got included in this essay just put me over the edge. So, here it is now. Buckle up.)

Bisexuality/Pansexuality is the attraction to people regardless of gender. About 4% of the USA alone (over 13.6 million people) openly identify as bisexual, according to Gallup’s latest polling. But unfortunately, bi/pan identities are so scary to some folks that they need to make up terms to avoid calling their favourite characters such. Thus, the term “playersexual” was born: a term to describe a game character who is attracted to the player character... regardless of gender.

If that sounds like it’s just a circuitous way of describing a bi/pan character, it’s because it is.

I first heard of the term “playersexual” almost a decade ago, from a Dragon Age fan complaining that Dorian was gay and thus it was “unfair” that she couldn’t romance him as female character. This fan said they wished BioWare would go back to Dragon Age II’s model of everyone being “playersexual” for “equality”.

Now, if you’ve actually played DA:2 and you’re not a bigot, you’re probably rolling your eyes just as hard as I did when I first read such a ridiculous statement. Well, prepare for this next one:

“When you make a male Hawke, Anders and Fenris are gay and Merrill is straight. Opposite is true if you make a female Hawke.”

These people are so afraid of bisexuality that they cannot even fathom its existence. They can believe in dragons and magic, but they cannot believe that a character is simply bi/pan. I find this especially hilarious for Anders, considering he had a canonical boyfriend, as confirmed both in-game and in The World of Thedas: Vol. 2 book.

I truly thought we were past this nonsense in 2023. I really, truly thought that. But then Baldur’s Gate 3 was released in full, and suddenly these same fuckers came out of the woodwork to bend over backwards avoiding calling these characters anything except bi/pan.

Note how in the above Ask, the anonymous questioner actually doubles down on avoiding addressing these two characters in particular as bi/pan!

“Playersexual” doesn’t even truly work for the characters of Baldur’s Gate 3 regardless, because the definition is oriented around attraction to the player character… which these characters are not exclusively attracted to. Here are some examples that prove otherwise:

If neither Lae’zel nor Astarion/Gale/Wyll are in a romance with the PC, Lae’zel will say she plans on propositioning one of the men for sex at the night of the tiefling party. She also flirts with Karlach in party banter.

Shadowheart expresses interest in Karlach, (“I like her. She looks like she could throw me over her shoulder and carry me to safety, should the need arise”) as well as Halsin if he leaves the party, (“he may have been misguided, but I liked looking at him.”)

Astarion flirts with nearly everyone in the party, but to just pick two examples: he mentions Wyll is the type of princely figure he used to dream about marrying, and says to Shadowheart “such a grim name for such a beautiful flower”.

Gale used to date Mystra. He also debatably flirts with Astarion by offering him some blood, after Cazador’s battle.

Wyll flirts with Lae’zel in party banter, and also refers to Halsin as a “delight” and “hunk”.

Karlach seems to have a little crush on Jaheira by the way she reacts to meeting her. She also says of Halsin, “everyone in this camp wants to climb that oak”.

Please keep in mind these are just a few examples I’ve picked out from screening through the dialogue, and there’s even more that prove the attraction to different genders these characters have is not related solely to the player. It’s just part of their identities.

In the Ask sent to me above, the anonymous questioner said they “cannot see Karlach as anything except lesbian and Astarion as gay.” This is just as bad as saying they are “playersexual” in my opinion, because yet again it’s erasing their bisexuality/pansexuality. Worse yet, it’s doing it because of the way the characters act. You cannot measure queerness based on actions and appearances being in line or not with queer stereotypes—it’s not a scale! And bi/pan folks are just as queer as lesbian and gay men, by virtue of simply being bi/pan!

All in all, I think this entire “playersexual” debate boils down to the fact that some people still refuse to see bi/pan identities as anything but “discount straight”. And that’s why people are rightfully angry when folks try to further this myth by pretending bi/pan characters don’t actually exist.

#hey its that text post i made ages ago #i deleted it because it was clutter but this is a lot more eloquent

[tr1ppykay]

I hope you know that there’s always a place that you’ll be welcome, even if you’re thrown away from other places due to your identity.

You’re a bi genderfluid man, and anyone that tries to change that (other than you) or take the piss out of your identity can try to parry the crowd of bees I just guided towards them

hi thanks, this means a lot. logically i do know that there are queer spaces welcoming to me, its just that *finding* them is a complicated issue. i tend to socially isolate because of trauma- growing up, my ADHD symptoms were mocked by both my peers AND authority figures in my life- i was severely bullied by other kids for being weird, and my parents/teachers regularly treated me as an annoyance/burden/mistake. I default to assuming that everyone always wants me to leave because of this. so when i try to meet other queer people like me irl, and the handful of assholes decide to tell me I should leave because "women" who like men or "women" who decide to become men aren't welcome, it reinforces those thoughts and sours the whole experience. its equally a me-problem and a problem of how people like me are perceived in queer spaces. if had no trauma, I would be able to shrug the assholes off. but then again, if there were no exclusionary assholes, people with similar trauma to mine would be more welcome- and i don't think queer people should have to fully heal from trauma to feel safe in their own community.

my experiences with ableism, antimasculism, and SGA-superiority all come together to create the perfect cocktail that leads to most queer spaces excluding me. I think my anecdotes speak to this specific intersection between my identities as a neurodivergent bisexual transmasc.

#transmasc #transandrophobia #bisexual #biphobia #antimasculism #trip talks #ask #snowiewowee #ive coined the term 'sga-superiority' to be a more accurate term to describe this than biphobia/heterophobia #mostly because 1) i am not straight and many queer people who also aren't straight/mspec are equally affected by this #asexuals/aromantics esp come to mind #(not to say queer het ppl aren't affected but its not specific to them only) #2) other words are broad and don't specify the experience of being ostracized from queer spaces for looking 'straight passing' #i would love for the term to catch on. i think its valuable for discussing how this prevalent attitude affects many different identities #sorry i kinda rambled here and in tags

[tr1ppykay]

ive been thinking about this post a lot as a transmasc bisexual and i want to add on as you invited us to. the way trans mspecs are treated really ties into the whole "you are whatever gender can be used to hurt you" bullshit. we receive both sentiments from cishetallos and queers depending on who we are dating

if im dating a man: much like trans gays, both the queer community and cishetallos see me as a delusional straight woman who wants to be special.

if im dating a woman: much like transhets, queer communities see me as an oppressive heterosexual invader; cishetallo society sees me as a butch lesbian, and i receive typical homophobia.

and on top of this, theres the added pain of erasure- I'm always being assumed to be gay or straight (whichever is more convenient to oppress/exclude me) but Never Have My Bisexuality Acknowledged By Anyone

we're doing a decent job of theorizing about transandrophobia, but are we ready to understand that transhet people are oppressed for being straight? think of it like this: transhets are technically straight, but are not socially seen as straight, so deal with homophobia anyway. oppression is not about who you are but about who society THINKS you are.

gays think that since transhets are straight, they are invaders. this means dealing with homophobia, while also being treated like hetero invaders, much like what straight aspecs deal with.

inversely, trans gays are treated as straight people pretending to be gay, both by cishets and the queer community. however, a trans gay person is still gay enough to suffer homophobia, while being told its "not homophobia, just being critical/careful".

this results in transhets and trans gays being equally oppressed for essentially the same thing, just in different ways.

this is probably a lot more complicated for trans bi/pansexuals, but im not too sure of how that works. feel free to add on

#this shit is so so so isolating. im glad these discussions are happening.

[tr1ppykay]

oh im very very aware of this ideology and the links it has to political lesbianism, lesbian separatism, and radical feminism. as a bisexual transgender man who doesn't pass and is dating a 'cis' man, i receive the bigotry from both ends, and its infuriating and exhausting.

when i am perceived as a woman (which is 100 percent of the time unless i verbally come out as a trans man) i am ostracized from queer spaces because i look like a woman dating a man. "i am sleeping with the enemy."

when i am perceived as a trans man, i am ostracized from queer spaces because i am a "woman choosing to be a man." i "want to be the enemy."

i've just stopped going to queer events IRL. my CPTSD from growing up neurodivergent makes it hard for me to go places alone without feeling unwelcome, but if i bring my boyfriend for support or dare to assert my transmasculine identity i am shown time and time again that i actually *am* unwelcome. im tired and angry and don't know what to do anymore.

self-flagellating transandrophobic trans men 🤝 self-flagellating biphobic bi women:

acting like hatred of men is Peak Activism and not just internalized bigotry

#trip talks #please feel free to reblog this #cis in quotes because idk how he feels about it as a label but he doesn't feel trans either

[tr1ppykay]

#two hits make you bi

[tr1ppykay]

the universe keeps hurting me as if ill respond in any way besides getting high and watching youtube

#mecore

[tr1ppykay]

#video #funny #cats #where did it come from #why is it in low gravity

[tr1ppykay]

self-flagellating transandrophobic trans men 🤝 self-flagellating biphobic bi women:

acting like hatred of men is Peak Activism and not just internalized bigotry

#transandrophobia #transmisandry #anti transmasculinity #biphobia #transmasc #bisexual #trip talks #in your effort to be 'one of the good ones' you have shot yourself in the foot.

[tr1ppykay]

Hello bisexual community

#reblogging this again because im about to start eating scrap metal soon #i need to go home and play a boomer shooter or something fast paced and violent before i start biting biphobic monosexuals

[tr1ppykay]

youre so fucking cool i really hope my ask gets across bc tumblr hates me

thank youuuuuu :3c

#your ask did get through im just bad at answering in a timely fashion #ask #anon #less anon hate more anon love

[tr1ppykay]

Just stumbled upon your account in the replies of a post and damn. Big fan of your general vibe and blog design bro. Looks sick as fuck, really cool shit seriously 🤙

ayyy thank you i spent way too much time on my theme html so its nice to hear compliments :)

#answering this 10 days late because adhd #if you followed me: know that i reply to posts a lot more often than i post myself #i am a Lurker first and foremost #ask #anon

[tr1ppykay]

anytime someone talks about the "uncomfortable" parts of testosterone puberty and how its normal to be annoyed about certain things because even cis boys were bothered by the "icky stuff" im like. wait yall aren't getting massive euphoria from smelling like a locker room, forehead breakouts and having a hairy ass ?

#trip talks #'the negative side effects of testosterone HRT' do not project onto me. there have been NO negatives. #could also be that im incredibly lucky with my skin genetics #during my first puberty i rarely got acne #and yeah i get more pimples now that im on T but it's really not bad #every single change has brought me nothing but joy #not even scared of balding #ill go jackson galaxy vibes and grow a beard and get even more piercings and make it work

[tr1ppykay]

im sorry ppl are being so stupid in the notes of that one post. ur right and i hope u have a wonderful day

thanks bestie i appreciate it ❤️ when i get multiple asks from disabled folk thanking me for calling out ableism it's pretty easy to disregard the assholes lol

#ask #genfagloser #my blocklist keeps growing ✌️

[tr1ppykay]

#mecore

[tr1ppykay]

Sorry some people are being fuckheads for you rightfully calling out ableism. Just wanted to be a support anon and let you know that you're right.

thanks, you aren't the first one to send me support, it means a lot. im not really upset, every rude @ is someone advertising to be blocked, it's really efficient actually, minimizing the closet ableists i see in passing. tumblr users will really defend anything these days

#ask #anon #i've actually gained like 4 followers from this debacle so i stay winning i guess

[tr1ppykay]

#i need a music tag #Spotify