tinamarie-me
Peaks and Valleys
Life, pain, love, endurance, humanity, God, faith, chronic illness, hope, strength
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The Nook
Nook2018 final draftDownload
This is the book I have spent the best part of that last 15 years writing and illustrating. The story follows Jesus and Emma as they stroll in an idyllic garden. She asks the question of why suffering occurs in her own life and throughout the world. Follow Emma as she discovers the loving, compassionate truths Jesus has to offer.
In an age of such great…
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Slumber
A deadly dance ensues
Winter, earnestly holds fast to what he has claimed.
Spring glides atop life restrained,
glancing to the Father for her cue.
Winter’s rage rips at her tender sprouts
clawing, wrenching, bellowing his anger.
She returns beckoning to the birds to make their nests
whispering to the flowers and trees to bud.
Awaken, she cries.
Winter must sleep.
Spring is here and Winter must…
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God's Warriors and the Pit
God’s Warriors and the Pit
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Christmas is Commercialized!
Decade after decade I have heard this cry from Christians and non-Christians alike. Is it true? Of course it is! Humanity has always been experts at quantifying the dollar value of everything including you and me. Just browse a life insurance policy and see how much your right arm is worth should it depart from your body. Yes, everything about Christmas is for sale except for its true meaning,…
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I love dogs with all that I am but I had a problem with this term, fur baby, when it first became vogue. I am still not thrilled about it and I am reserved when I apply it to myself but others, who are critical, must understand it is a term borne of pain. For those of us who have not been blessed to have our own children must find ways to repurpose the endless well of love we have been given from our creator. Certain things happen within our beings that require our nurturing, loving souls to find a recipient to receive all that we must give. Even those who have had the awesome privilege to love a child as their very own find that they feel a deep loss when that child becomes independent.
I will speak of my own experience in an attempt to avoid causing offense or pain to another. My “furbabies” are dogs. I love them each with every inch of my being. I am deeply grateful for each dog I have had the honor of welcoming into my heart. I know God has placed each into my life for a very specific reason and I am convinced I would not be motivated to get out of bed if my dogs did not need my attention. They provide unconditional love, put up with my crabby moods, look at me as if I am the most amazing person to ever live, and they forgive…everything. They are marvelous creatures who know only loyalty, courage, and a depth of love humans have never achieved.
Does that mean my arms have stopped burning to hold a tiny child, who stares up at me in wonder and amazement? Has my heart stopped yearning to pour my love and devotion into my child? Daily, my ears strive to hear a little voice caress my soul with a single beloved word, “Mommy”. A small, chubby hand grasping mine to find safety and security or to lead me to his or her newest discovery will only ever happen through the love I lavish upon my niece and nephews. Thousands of spilt tears and hundreds of thousands more yet to fall for children I will never have, for those who belong to the ungrateful and undeserving, and for all who have been snuffed out before they were able to draw a single breath are added to the unseen ocean of grief. Dried up, useless breasts will never nourish my child as that time has long since passed. I believe that was the hardest day in my life, when I knew the possibility of cradling my baby in a fierce embrace was no longer possible.
I filled this void by working to fix other’s broken children. I advocated and protected other’s children from the evil of this world but my home was a tomb in its deafening silence until I was able to welcome a “furbaby” into my life. Over the years, my dogs were the only things that have come close to filling the void of an empty womb. I spoil my dogs rotten, I love them endlessly, and I consider them a permanent part of my family. We, who possess furbabies, have found an outlet to pour all the unused mothering and nurturing that eagerly sought a home, a soft place to land. Dogs only want to be loved and my heart needed to love them so it is a perfect match.
Naturally, I am describing all the soft, warm fuzzy parts of being a mother to a human child in the full knowledge that much heartache exists within that same glorious miracle. There is no sharper pain or deeper agony than that of a mother’s or father’s heart as she or he watch their child suffering without the ability to help. My words would never diminish the double edge sword that is the reality of becoming a parent to a human child. Traversing my descending years, I find myself more grateful than sorrowful that my only “children” have been of the canine variety. The only sorrow of welcoming a dog into one’s heart is the day you must say good-bye. I have had to say farewell too often to both the human and canine loves in my life. Yet, that is reality. Great love will always birth greater sorrow while branding you with the refusal to deny the opportunity to have had this miracle. As for me, I am grateful for the children, who I loved, but who will forget me. And for the “furbabies”, who never forgot me and whom I have woven into the strong heart and soul they helped protect and build, gratitude is not an adequate term.
Diego2
Holly 5
Hence, if you lavish judgment like a fool or offer condemnation like an ass then I pray you will learn compassion and a degree of understanding that will enable you to look beyond your own walk upon this Earth. Yes, look beyond your own steps and glance to the left and right to see how your brother and sister stumbles, crawls, and grasps for the strength to claw their way forward in this unforgiving world. Look through Jesus’s eyes instead of your own to see the love keeping those struggling in pain and suffering moving forward.
Holly2
Sam Easter 2013
Fur Babies I love dogs with all that I am but I had a problem with this term, fur baby, when it first became vogue.
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Trees
It has finally started to cool off here for autumn. I do love autumn although each season holds its own joy and glory. God gives us so many gifts if we take the time to see them and experience them in full. I love the way the trees change in every fashion. The leaves changing from every hue of green to a spectrum bursting with every color mankind can perceive. They reach the apex of their…
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#autumn#death#faith#fall#Humanity#life#life cycles#love#meaning#relationships#seasons#spring#thoughts#trees#winter
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My Child
Tender and strong,
who was I before you came along?
My lungs expand as yours expend,
each breath a tutor in strength.
Love was but a word,
an idea,
an abstract
a toy
until you taught me
it’s permeating depth.
Ferocity was foreign
until you demanded
more of me than I
had known
possible.
Truth was all a lie
until I became
utterly lost
within your eyes.
Each tear you shed
collected and treasured.
Eac…
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A CROSS TOO HEAVY?
A CROSS TOO HEAVY?
“Take up your cross and follow me.” Jesus commanded
This one statement is enough to tell all of his followers that the path of Christ is not going to be one of ease and pleasure.
However, there are times in a believer’s walk that the cross she or he is asked to bear may feel soul crushing. The light may appear to be devoured by the ever-present darkness desiring to destroy you. I have been…
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Satan's Scourge
Satan’s Scourge
Crafty demon you are,
picking on God’s
children like a
schoolyard
Bully.
Tear sinew,
rip flesh from
bone.
Break my bones
if their crack
brings delight to
your fallen
Spirit.
Sear my flesh,
Oh, Beautiful One,
if my cries lighten
your burden.
Let your scourge
test my resolve.
Loose your
wickedness
upon this
broken
shell.
For, your realm
is in decay.
Hell’s
foundations are
crumbling.
You…
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Love Pledged
This work is dedicated to my Nephew and Niece’s fourth wedding anniversary. Happy Anniversary Bobby and Mary! Love Always.
Was it only yesterday
that I explored the depth of your
gaze? Or have a thousand
years passed since I gave
my heart away?
Loved ones seated,
quiet sniffles,
as a soft breeze cools
the nervousness upon our brows.
Gently, you brush a wayward
tendril that worked its way from
my…
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Soul Pairing
Nancy and Joel Honse, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! I love you always and forever.
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What God has joined...
What God has joined…
In honor of my Sister, Nancy Honse and Joel Honse’s anniversary. Happy Anniversary!
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Get UP!
Tears of exhaustion cleansed the
grime from her weary eyes.
The hard earth beneath her felt as
if bundles of clouds had been
fastened together giving tense limbs an
imagined comfort.
Gasping crisped air into
overburdened lungs sent a sear
throughout her torso lending
logic to the fact she yet lived.
Her spirit commanded,
“Get up.”
Her aching frame bade her
…
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Spring in Windber, PA 2017
Spring in Windber, PA 2017
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A Mountain, Two Dogs and a Field of Reefer…
A Mountain, Two Dogs and a Field of Reefer…
A fork, a crossroads…a choice upon our path is always disconcerting if we are seeking the Lord’s will in earnest. Some folks perceive every choice in their life as monumental and claim an inability to make any decisions as their default setting. This, of course, is a cop-out to avoid the responsibility or consequences of making choices. They look toward others to make the decision either…
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#christianity#chronic illness#chronic pain#faith#health#Humanity#life#perserverence#spirit#suffering#thoughts
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Protector
I had forgotten this piece but I love it and love my sisters dearly so I am reblogging it. Happy weekend everyone.
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Who did you send to Hell today?
Who did you send to Hell today?
Is this world truly wicked and bursting at the seams with evil, self-serving humans bent on singular gain? Well…there is certainly enough evidence to support that argument beginning with the first murder in the garden of Eden. Millennia has passed and we humans keep inventing new and horrific ways to hurt one another and in even greater mass. We could all likely agree that mass…
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