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Sit on it and pump yourself back and forth on it. Feel it deep inside of you and getting deeper with each trust. I want to be inside of you just like this forever

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i love conversations mixed with lil flirting and joking

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tigretigris-blog · 1 month

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Trauma Horcrux Journey: Return, Neutralize, and/,or Kill

TW: TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCES, Racism and childhood trauma and scars from bullies and manipulated.

Have you ever felt there's a blockage in your life, a walking black cat of bad luck or maybe feel like your life has been cursed? If these three hypothetical questions apply to you, it turns out that you may have multiple horcruxes residing inside you.

this is a shout out to those who are along with no family due to estrangement, those who are battling demons that always ends in loss or stalemate. I want to share my stories and experiences with you so you can be inspired to break free of any generational curses, trauma or Shadow horcrux is that chaining you down unable to reach your potential to be great in life. Trauma is always going to be part of our lives but how we will define our meeting so the pain won't hurt that much anymore is how we Will rise from the ashes. It's up to you.

This journey of mine is more personal, it's more of a metaphorical transformation getting back to the person that I once was before all the rotten shit had happened to me. Transforming back to the old me with some new character development, self confidence ,self-love, and improvement of quality everyday life. Although I can't turn back the hands of time and I can't get back all those moments that was stolen. I can focus on the here and now and make new memories good ones every single day. That's a surefire way to stop history from repeating itself.

I'm 2 years away from being 40 and I'm finally learning how to love and appreciate myself for the first time and 33 years. I don't know how many horcruxes is that I have but so far.. I returned my trauma horcruxes to it senders, neutralized and killed a few. It was 12.

1. Throwing shade at an annoying ex coworker at my former job in Bravos(a 🦝 with pizza toppings freckles. Lol).

Returning the trauma and humiliation to its rightful owner, I've embraced my vengeful nature as a Scorpio, sometimes being the bigger person is overrated and assholes like her need to be put in place. In layman's terms, I try not to let vengeance consume my mind and heart but nothing is being done and I'm sick of giving wicked people passes while I'm suffering internally.😈😈😈🦂🦂🦂✔️

2. Played basketball with other guys healing my childhood wounds. Long story short me and men in sports don't get along very well as a kid, basketball was thrown at my back and at my head... It hurts like hell✔️

3. Chewed out an online clout lighting psycho bitch named Mooky Milk(jahjah sky) and Jean C Maxamilian ( I hope she gets canceled for good) got my 6-year revenge for the trauma they put me through.

She ironically and hypocritically blocked me and I blocked her a long time ago to protect her from my mouth doing some damage and dude was trying to be a clout chaser talking about I'm being performative. Returning trauma to it's rightful owners ✔️

4. Overcame Online Trauma from non-responsive messaging from people- I just had to reprogram myself to understanding the language. Some people don't have the energy because they're busy and try not to take it personally. It really took a lot of days and exceedingly hard months to not give in✔️

5. Becoming more assertive and standing up for myself and others. I've been a pushover to being very passive aggressive almost my whole life. When I got overly aggressive I can get very carried way easy to the point where I can hurt a person's feelings in the most severe brutal manner possible. I'm only going to use that as a defense only.✔️

6. I became stoic towards the losses of friendships to the point where I don't feel a thing. It's okay to feel sad but the longer I dwell the more my sanity will diminish. It's not the first rodeo.

I have been having a hard time keeping and maintaining friendship and I was a child, due to the childhood trauma of being bullied I didn't know who to trust and eventually as I learned I was My own worst enemy and some of the unnecessary losses were all for nothing. At the time I thought I can read minds of people to protect myself from getting hurt as a child. Unfortunately, it made me into a class pariah. I couldn't even handle the roughest horse play without having an urge of wanting to hurt self defense.✔️

7. I got my poetry writing skills back.✔️

8. Established my confidence in talking to women. I'm no longer afraid to approach. I may stutter or stumble with my words but I quickly recover.

I realize I do have some style and swagger I just got to learn how to utilize them properly and being my authentic self. I can't believe that I damn near wasted my time trying to be something that I wasn't and my twenties and in my teens. I still got a lot to learn before I consider dating again whether it's with my first love for someone else. I discovered that I like monogamous polyamorous and solonogamous. ✔️ horcrux neutralized

9. Learning to Dance, giving an old childhood humiliation experience cleaver. I'm taking some pretty good baby steps so many moves so little time.

I want to try pole dancing just to get my acrobatic skills and learning how to properly seduce a woman. Capoeira and break dancing.✔️

10. I got my love for cartooning back thanks to my nephew. I haven't drew a cartoon in years but after making up some fan art power rangers this got me inspired to do some fan art soon✔️

11. Utilizing being an asshole at the right proper moment. I'm no longer afraid to be really mean and ugly, people can't handle me at my worst moment they don't deserve my good side either. Only if a person deserves it of course defense only✔️

12. Today on this momentous occasion I gave my trauma horcrux from the University of Tennessee the cleaver. Horcux exterminated. This is part one, long story short I got fucked over by someone who I thought was my friend and got me unjustly banned from the campus that I was working like a slave to graduate from under another layer trauma. She was a queer white feminist of all people. Looking back on it I believe she used me as a diversion so she can protect her ex partner who was a non-binary predator who SA a few people and two of them were teenagers.

.Upcoming Horcruxes:

1.Weight Loss-265lbs of trauma weight from college

My Stuttering

Anger Management

Changing the way I engage in debate or how I talk to people

Taking crucial classes to understand body languages,

building strong friendships and relationships so the childhood trauma and adulthood trauma would fade away like an old scar wound.

reLearning boundaries for myself and for others properly

English grammar and vocabulary and writing abilities returning

Making damn sure the misogynistic and possible jealous side is dead for good(small relapse since in 2020). I need some pretty good feminist articles and I need to go back on old ones I saved

.Taking a parenting class( I'm not expecting any kids lol) to toe tag my shadow so I can no what to expect and what to do in case of unplanned pregnancy or pregnancy via marriage. Trying to break the ghastly chain of parents being absent from their kids lives. Properly responsible.( just got to find the right class)

How to how to return neutralize and kill your horcruxes

For the returns use careful judgment wisely, only using a return to sender if the person is incorrigible no conscience or remorse and being an all round no good miserable asshole by simply standing up for yourself. Throwing shade embarrass them without care or shame. If they fight you you can defend yourself but do not do anything that will get you behind bars.

Neutralize

Converting any negative experiences due to trauma by turning them into positive for example, facing your worst fears, convert the weaknesses that you don't like about yourself and turn them into strengths. Use combos of one and two if you want.

Kill-destroy really horrible traumas that LG back for way too long and affect your daily living and creativity. Combination one and two. Do not literally do harm that will get you in trouble. Seek possible accountability and if they are truly sorry and make no excuses and they hold themselves they are accountable, you don't have to do anything like lawsuits. Give the person trying to grow mature from this(unless they are incorrigible and don't give a fuck).

#trauma #self healing #self care #self love #self improvement blog #self confidence #self awareness #courage #perseverance #empowerment

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tigretigris-blog · 1 month

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"I'm more complex than you think"

-Squall Leonheart, Final Fantasy 8

just depends on my mood

Sometimes I like having a time for myself

Sometimes like being around people

Relationship wise:1. I don't meet the right criterias and credentials to be boo'd up. Currently on the journey of having some upgrades of character and personality development. I'm not doing this for dating or winning anyone stamp of approval I'm doing this as a long-term rebirth project.

2. I have excess baggage which I'm on a journey to unpack them all by: returning to sender(for incorrigible and all around no good bad people or person only), neutralizing by turning negatives into positives, or kill the most severely painful traumas possible. These are Shadow and Trauma hocruxes .(I'll get to that later on I'm just going to start on this blogging thing)

Healing the damages and Trauma before being back in a relationship again. Also, like to be a better friend and establish more boundaries. Although I master being assertive but outbursts of rage out of annoyance and frustrations I got to work on. Also, have to learn that not anybody owes me a story about themselves they are not fully comfortable disclosing. Relearning how to be a better friend.

3. Learning to be enough being happy without a partner, which I finally found my niche( if Mya and Henry Rollins can do it, so can I) after all, you'll have a longer lifespan if you're single.