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thescribblinkgirl-blog · 7 years

Text

You’re still here.

Y/N - Your Name. Readers may insert any person’s name they wish to be a part of this short story.

Y/FS - Your Favourite Subject. Referred to using “they” in 3rd party narration to achieve gender neutral writing.

S/O - Name of Significant Other. Y/N’s other half. Referred to using “they”, so as to be gender neutral.

P/FS - Partner’s Favourite Subject.

While you are preparing to make a dinner meal for 2 - you and your partner, something halts you in your tracks; still holding kitchen utensils and cutleries in your hands, you start to focus your senses on what in particular it is. Your ears picks up on soft, almost inaudible sobs that sounds all too familiar to you - your S/O’s sobs. Although soft and quiet, it is overflowing with unspeakable agony that is way too apparent, at least to you. This is enough for you to put down whatever you are doing at the moment, and starts to pace yourself towards your partner’s SOHO in the cramp yet made-to-feel-cozy space that both of you shared since 4 years ago.

-Flashbacks to 4 years before: Y/N and S/O were college sweethearts who had just graduated from college, successfully completing their tertiary education. Both Y/N and S/O had taken their Diplomas, Y/N’s in Y/FS and S/O in P/FS respectively. Y/N came from an average family background, they were not poor but constantly struggling with debts from bad investments; so when Y/N wanted to subsequently further their education to Bachelor’s Degree, their parents was unable to provide the financial means to support their ambition. S/O is someone intelligent but never shown a lot of academic interest, their mother dropped them off to an orphanage shortly after they were born. S/O had never heard from their parents since then, but has always pestered the orphanage director - fondly known as Mother Delia, for any sorts of information she might have known about them.

Fresh out of school and without much of a support from home, both Y/N and S/O had to first empty their savings from the part-time jobs they worked while they studied, to pay the deposits for a humble studio apartment in a new city - a place where they could call their safe haven. While they landed on their then full-time job quite easily, their salaries as fresh graduates could barely scrape by their basic costs of living in a large town. They spent most of their waking time working, accepted ad-hoc jobs that might have helped to fill in the gaps for a better life, they even lived on all kinds of instant food to increase their savings, all of which caused them to see each other less than a few hours in a week. Fortunately, both of them remained as optimistic and determined as they could possibly manage to be, kept each other motivated through quick calls and texts and took on life’s shortcomings through gritted teeth.

This year marks the 5th year since the both of you have moved in together. The company that you have started and built with your S/O about 2 years ago is doing fairly well; with the business picking up steadily, your standard of lifestyle as a young couple is finally starting to improve. In addition to financially supporting your family, you even manage to help your parents pay off all of their debts; S/O has always maintained a good relationship with the members of your family, emphasising the importance of a family’s bond. Deep down your heart, you knew that S/O’s mind has never once forget the thought of getting to know their own family. All these times, they just kept it aside so it doesn’t become a distraction in both of your struggles to achieve success. You stand in front of the door to your S/O’s office, you snap out of your thought.

You raise your head to the wall clock hung on the white cream wall of your apartment to check the time, and realise that a good 20 minutes has passed. You gently pressed your ears against the SOHO’s door from outside, the sobs have steadied down but long and hitched breathing is still audible. You know that S/O hardly cries because they prefer to keep negative expressions to themselves, much to the outcome of being forced to be independent at such a tender phase of their life. The last time S/O had their tears shed was when the news of Mother Delia’s passing; you’ve met her a couple of times when S/O visited the home to their childhood. That woman was an amazing personality - she was a devout Christian, reserved but wise, stern but caring. She had many children under her care, she didn’t have a lot of time to individually spend with each and everyone of them but she made it clear that she deeply cares for their welfare.

After you rearrange the thoughts and emotions that comes associated, you feel ready to be with a possibly depressed S/O. “S/O, dear, it’s me.” You gently call them out while placing a few knocks on the door, careful so as to not startle them. Taking in several long hard breaths, “Y/N.” S/O croaks, clearly resulting from their effort to silence their cries. You take slow and light steps into the office and shut the door behind you. Glancing around you, the room is lit only by S/O’s desk lamp with sheets of papers scattered not only on their desk but on the floors as well; squinting your eyes, you spotted S/O sitting on the floor, their head hung down with slouched shoulders they hug their legs against the chest, and their mobile phone still clutched in their hands. You casually place your a hand over theirs and the other remove the phone from S/O’s grip with caution, then walk over to place it on the nearby coffee table. Little did you realise, S/O had raise their head and their eyes are following your movements.

Turning to face them, you see a disheveled S/O clearly in a lot of distress; a condition not like you have never seen before, but you know that it must take something very serious for S/O to become like this. The ache in your heart is hard to ignore, to see the love of your life caught in such a devastating situation. Reminding yourself to stay calm, you suppress the urge to pound on your partner with interrogatives and advices like you normally react when problems arise, you find a spot beside S/O and lower yourself down to sit facing them. Both of you lock gazes and stay in silence before you said in a soft whisper, “Dear, something is clearly not turning out well for you... You can share it with me if you feel like it, otherwise... just allow me to sit beside you for awhile.” You hear their breath hitch as you cast your gaze down to your hands, so that they wouldn’t feel like they’re stuck in an inquisition.

It took another half an hour of dead silence before S/O takes one heavy breath and speaks up, “Y/N, it’s not just something that is not working out for me. It’s everything.” Hearing this, you can tell that your heart drops to your stomach. Am I losing them? What went wrong? Has their feelings worn off of this relationship? I thought we were doing great... Words of endearment has also stopped coming from them anymore... Maybe... Just maybe, we’ve come to the end of us... You desperately want to ask a question, say a word, or a sentence, but nothing finds its way out of your throat as you feel like they’re going to slip away from you. Sensing your discomfort, S/O apprehensively continues, “This is not going to work, nothing will fix it. It’s all over, and it’s all my fault. We’re done for, Y/N.” What? What have they been hesitating to tell me, the truth? Why now of all times, when we are doing well? Tears dangerously threaten to gush out from your eyes, the violent effort you need to take to keep them at bay and to remain as composed as you can is driving you hysterical from inside.

“W-what is g-going to make y-you stay?” your voice wavers in fear, but you immediately decided that the worst thing that can ever happen to you is to lose S/O. “What in the world?! Why would you still want me to stay, Y/N?! I would think it is of your best interest to leave me. It’s rational and best if you can go away this instance.” S/O spurts out. So, this is it. They're going to leave. Was that the reason why they’ve been so deep in contemplation recently? Thinking of a way to leave me? Anger quickly took over all the fear that has been growing fiercely just a while ago, “I will leave you if you give me the truth I deserve.” Thinking about how silly S/O makes you feel when you thought being tactful will make it work with them, you decided that you’ll fight, if not for the love you have for them, it’s the possibility of “us” for the both of you.

“This isn’t a bargain, Y/N.”

“You’re right, it’s not, it’s a demand.”

“...Y/N, stop acting childish and please don’t make this harder than it already is.”

CHILDISH! I’m called CHILDISH for wanting to know what is going on?! I can almost see through every shield they’re holding up against me, I just need. Need. to. know. What exactly is hidden under those defences? This is also when you lose it. Your cool. Forget about staying calm. It’s never your demeanour like this anyway. You’ve always been the fiery one, passionate, aggressive, pumped up in whatever you do and say.

“S/O. I’m trying very hard for you. Of all people you should know that playing the calm card is so not me. Please consider doing me one last favour. WHAT THE H**K IS GOING ON? DON’T YOU THINK I DESERVE A ‘RATIONAL’ EXPLANATION IF LEAVING YOU IS THE ONLY ‘RATIONAL’ WAY OUT OF GOD-KNOWS-WHAT!? SITUATION?” You shot up from your position beside them. All your pent up emotions and questions from such a sudden outburst by your partner’s behavior erupted into a scream, for your own salvation, sadly. “Y/N...”, S/O relents and stands up to join you. Right, go on and stick some more shields. The more they do it, the more you’re going to pierce through each and every single piece!

“I’m confused. T-this is so sudden. Please at least make an attempt to explain the situation to me.” You softened to a plea, feeling like your yelling may have been a bit too much for them.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. Please, just go. I’ll get all your belongings and send them to your family home within the next 12-hours.” S/O refuses.

“I don’t understand how you arrive at so much hate for me. I just need to know... S/O, please. I’m not sure about you but, the truth, is very important to me. I-I promise, I’ll l-leave once you tell m-me. I promise.” You attempt to plea again, on the verge of bursting into tears.

“Y/N... No... Please, no.” S/O’s resolution is cracking your sanity, and they know it. Have they been so stubborn before? I thought I was the one. Why’d they gone out of character? How am I going to move on without ever knowing the things that gone wrong...?

“S/O. You know. I did not, have not, and will never break my promises. I’ll keep it even more so if it is you... I’ll believe you no matter what you tell me. I promise I will do anything as you say, after you let me know what is really going on here. Just, please. I beg you.” You beg. You, Y/N, begged. I can almost feel me smirking to myself. Your deadpanned eyes met theirs, they look so rueful... You can’t help but feel like something is not right. Their eyes should portray determination, but instead all you got from them are a vision filled with regret, sorrow, doubts, and the most irregular one: a fear that matches yours. You mustn’t give up now, especially not now. You wait, you wait for a response.

20 minutes of awkward silence later, “I’ll take your words of promise, Y/N.” S/O heaves out a long sigh.

“T-Thank you. Please, go ahead. Don’t mind me.” As you complete your sentence, your hand finds their favourite bean bag chair and lets yourself plop onto it, releasing all the strength you gathered earlier just enough to keep you standing. “Okay, I just hope that you’ll not regret this.” S/O says. “You can cross it off the list as you have one less thing to worry about.” Your tone flat. Finally it has come to this... God... I pray for you to give me the strength to not break down in front of the only person I’ll ever love in my lifetime. Please. Please. Please.

S/O clears their throats and goes on, “The private investigator that I hired 3 months ago has managed to scour information on my parents’ whereabouts. Last week, he handed me the set of documentations related to my case file. Our interaction concluded with a final payment of their service fees and case closed.” S/O takes another breath while he walks over to his desk to retrieve a huge ring file. They put the file in your hands and takes a place on the floor beside you. Pointing to a few of what seems like copies of family photographs, “See the woman in blue? She’s my birth mother. Her name is Grace.” You see an attractive, dainty lady in a pastel blue dress with dandelion prints that tugs around her small delicate figure.

“She’s truly beautiful.”

“...And you no less. I couldn’t agree more.” A half-smile breaks into S/O’s lips. Huh? A compliment out of nowhere...did I just hear them wrongly? Perhaps, I was being a tad bit delusional. You quickly shake it off.

“Where is she residing at now? W-w-Y-you could visit.” You pull yourself back from hopeful as you remind yourself of your promise earlier.

“She no longer lives in our world.” You shrink and apologise, as S/O points at another photo of an impassive looking, tall and slender man holding a newborn baby who you can only assume it is S/O. There was also Grace who looked extra pale and fragile, stood by his side with a weak smile that feels so forced it causes your body shift in an inexplicable uneasiness. “Whatever you’re feeling now, I assure you that it’s absolutely true. This photo, taken just a week before mom was left with no choice but to entrust her baby to Mother Delia, one of her childhood friend that was not made known to my father - who also happened to be running a small children's home.” S/O pauses and hesitates. You knew they grew up in a reputable orphanage that Mother Delia tirelessly developed, but as confused as you are to why they were sent there in the first place, S/O too was always kept in the dark about their biological caretakers.

“It’s okay, please stop if telling me these is going to put you through such pain.” S/O understands you too well to know that you are just being considerate, but your curiosity will eat you up. They hang their head to face the floor, to hide the emotions that they expect to roll into them shortly, “That man was my father, Raymond, who happened to be the criminal of Mom’s murder which took place almost immediately after she sent me off to the orphanage.” Caught off-guard with the knowledge, you winced. Tears start to well up by the sides of your eyes when you think about how this must have been so much more devastating to your love. Momentarily, you couldn’t come up with anything appropriate to say to S/O that’ll take the agony away from them.

“Raymond’s family was well-off and he managed his family’s business after the passing of my grandparents. He was the only child, just like me. They met at a bistro bar where Mom happened to work as a part-time waitress to support herself and pay for her own education. My maternal grandparents left Mom alone due to a traffic accident when she just turned 18. Raymond and Mom hit it off quickly, fell in love and then got married by the time she was 24; he was 6 years elder. Mom resigned from her job and became a full time housewife as Raymond took care of business, they lived a comfortable and lavish life. Things were great until the 2nd year into their union, Raymond made a bad decision in business that cost his entire fortune including the inheritance from my grandparents, to a competitor; who was known to have been one of Mom’s admirer from the bistro bar.”

You listen intently as S/O’s tries to move their face to look anywhere but in your direction, only for you to notice the grimace laced with both fresh and dried trails of tears on their facade. Only if I’m allowed to get closer to you... I’d do anything to protect you... Even if it takes my life. S/O straightens up, “It was catastrophic enough for Raymond. He shrivelled into a completely different person. He accused Mom and conveniently left her to take the blame and face all the adversities alone while he wasted himself away in alcohol and illegal gambling. From his newfound bad habits then, he accumulated substantially high amount of debts, became abusive to Mom, and continued to hold her responsible for his failures. Mom soon discovered that she was pregnant... with me. In consideration of her baby’s safety, she was determined to leave him; he found out and took advantage of Mom’s vulnerability. Raymond threatened to harm her body so bad that she’d never be able to have her baby see the light if she left him, so Mom put up with him until the day her pregnancy was due even after the abuse escalated.”

Blowing a troubled sigh, S/O goes on to say, “3 days after Mom gave birth to me, Raymond visited her at the hospital, the exact day that the only piece of my biological family photo was captured, the same one you just saw earlier. Before he left the hospital, he whispered to Mom that he had to be hidden from moneylenders for awhile and intends to take the baby home on his next visit, finally assured her that they’d become rich again. Mom’s panic button was pushed, she instantaneously knew what Raymond was planning: He wanted to sell the baby. She grew terrified cos she had no idea exactly when would he drop by again. Coincidentally, Mom bumped into and reunited with her childhood friend - Mother Delia, who sent one of her children for medical check at the same hospital. Devoid of options, Mom spilled out every single detail about Raymond’s plans to her childhood friend and studied the time patterns of patrol nurses from dusk to dawn for days before decided it was time to escape the building with me. Mom insisted to go back to the hospital so that no traces could have led Raymond to me. Raymond was there the moment she arrived back at her confinement ward. Infuriated, he beat her to her death as she refuse to reveal my whereabouts... The rest was history from there.”

A thought flashes across your mind and you promptly start flipping through the ring file. “Y/N, What are you doing? I’ve told you everything, please... It’s time to keep your promise now.” their tone of voice unsettled. You arrive at a section of the documentation that explains Raymond’s incarceration, and the pieces fit in perfectly. Raymond was charged with a mere 25 years imprisonment to a 2nd Degree Murder, he’s due for official release in the next 5 days. Now you know why large sums of monies were paid from your company account to services that were foreign to you when you checked the audit report. You strangely find yourself in a relief. They’re acting exactly like their selfless mother, Grace, worried that Raymond might recognise them in the press related to our company and come after us - be it for money or for revenge, and are pressed for time to get me out of possible dangers the best way they know how.

Feigning tears, S/O muttered in remorse “I-I’ve just recognised Mother Delia’s intention when she kept apologising over our phone conversation starting weeks before her passing, it must have been so difficult for her to carry such a secret burden on her shoulders when she always emphasised the importance of an honest life. I-I’ve a-also been utilising our funds to pay off the private detective agency fees and lawyers legal charges to find an alternative to prevent Raymond’s release... W-without informing you. Unfortunately, nothing much could be done legitimately even if I wanted him behind bars forever. I’ll never acknowledge him as my father. Not after all the things that he did and all the responsibilities he shirked from. Y-you have every rights to hold a grudge against me b-but I’d appreciate it if you could do as you promised.”

Losing S/O is more lethal to you than losing to Raymond, and/or a rapidly depleting monetary reserve that you both have spent the years sustaining, you wish they’d know but now you have a promise to keep...

You coolly rise from the bean bag chair, look S/O in their face, flash them the most demure smile you can offer, making their heart skip a beat. “Can I please get my last bear hug before I leave?” you chirped. S/O is totally puzzled by the positive change in your reaction; assuming that you may just be putting up a cheery front to minimise the hurt, they oblige to your request anyway. The thought that this would be the last chance to revel in the sweet scent of your presence is tearing them apart too. They expected that they’d have to be going through a tough battle that you always put up before you are to give in to them, thinking that they might have just succeeded in their effort to let you go to safety this time...

You’d like to send them off-limits from their expectations, your heart and soul danced with glee at the thought of your secret little reverie.

“I promise, that I’ll leave after you tell me the truth... ...and head to the kitchen to prepare our supper. I’m famished.” You whispered into their ears while your head rests upon their shoulders, still stiff from surprise.

Before S/O could recover from agape and utter a response, you chime in and set forth a new promise, “I’ll never ever leave you, S/O. I’ll always be by your side no matter what happens, to support you, to cherish you, to care for you, to understand you, to be there for you and to love you for all of who you are and what you are, regardless of what is contained in your past. We are to Grace-fully experience the highs and lows of life and grow old together. This I promise you, all of those things I said, I promise to keep it till the day I die!” Before you know it, the arms that wrapped around your waist tightens to a firm embrace like you’re their lifeline, and you feel a side of your shoulders start to get drenched by warm droplets of tears. As long as you love me, no matter how you push me away, I’ll find a way by your side to stay.

“You’re impossible, Y/N. I can’t believe you’re still here, knowing full well all the hazards that may entail a relationship with me. I promise only you’ll have my love forever, please never doubt that.”

“I don’t think you’ll ever be able to get rid of meee!” You hum as you return the hug with a same intensity that matches S/O’s own and nuzzle against their neck.

“I love you, S/O. I really do. Thank you so much for trusting me, my guardian angel.”

“I love you more than you’ll ever know, my peculiar celestial beauty. I thank God everyday for letting me have the honour to hold you. Thank you for stepping into my life, Y/N.” . . . Aaahhhhhh my heart is swelling, or maybe it’s just me. Anyways if you are reading this, THANK YOU for reading!

#love #i love you #vows #short story #writing #romance #couple #sweet #love story #cheesy much?

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