the-witch-is-back-xoxo

[the-witch-is-back-xoxo]

[the-witch-is-back-xoxo]

[the-witch-is-back-xoxo]

I’m BACK

I‘m still FAT

and I am FILLED with REGRET

it‘s been a while but yeehaw.

#anamia #thinspo #anorexik #bulimia #proana #thinspii #thinspiration #ana #ana mia #pro ana #thinspr0 #anarexicc #mia #not ana just using tags #thinspro #punk #grunge

[the-witch-is-back-xoxo]

It breaks my heart to see this still get notes after so many months, would love to say that I‘m at a much better place now and cannot relate anymore, but thats not true, lol. But I will try and get professional help for my mental health overall next month, I know at least two friends of mine will help me with their experience. And I recommand y‘all do the same. the fact that you found these pictures means you probably searched the tags, and I hate to break it to you, that seems like reason enough to talk to a professional about your realtionship with your body and food. there‘s no such thing as „not sick enough“.

I love you all, and I only wish the best for you.

Thinspo/Vent art.

I really hope this doesn‘t do harm. I just doodled the ‚perfect version‘ of myself, and really wanted to share these sketches, can‘t do that with my irl friends obvi. please don‘t steal these, they are kinda personal

btw i can totally hear my mom say „yeah she always liked mangas, she probably wanted to look like one of these japanese drawings“ at my funeral lol

#anamia #ana mia #anorexik #thinspii #thinspr0

[the-witch-is-back-xoxo]

In case you wondered what happened, a week of binge/purging, that is what happened. at least I lost another pound (I‘m at 152)

I think I need to stop thinking in extremes like ‚oh If I eat X cals daily for Y days I will be Z by this date‘ and instead just focus on one day after the other, not gaining weight and building ‚skinny‘ habits. Ironically I‘ve noticed that I loose the most weight whenever I don‘t really think about it, not obsessing over food makes skipping meals easier somehow.

I did a 22 hr fast, and I‘ll just start aiming for 700-800 cals daily plus intermitment fasting (and the occasional longer fast). I think that will help me loose weight long term and not binge.

On more exiting news, I will move out for the next two months to help with an art project, and I got the news Yesterday that I will be provided with a small flat for myself, which means I can pull multi-day fasts like once a week or so and work out in peace! sounds like a dream, but the train ticket is already booked, so this better be real.

March 12th

weigh in: 153 lbs

fasted: 40 hrs

breakfast: 145 cals

lunch: 355 cals

snack: 333 cals

dinner: 185 cals

total: 1018 cals

exercise: 540 cals

Sooo... I guess I was really holdin on to some water weight? lost 3 lbs overnight and started the day quite extatic. Sadly I ended up binging on chocolate in the afternoon (thats that 300 cal snack lol). I purged afterwards but well whatever. I could blame my period for the chocolate craving, but I think I need to break the next long fast with something high in protein. I went for a mango-smoothie this morning, to take it eaasy on my stomach but It just made me more hungry. Doesn‘t help that I fell down the rabbit hole of Korean sweets/cooking/baking videos on youtube.... Gonna chug some cucumber water and peppermint tea and pray that I didn‘t gain.

On a more positive note, my body fat % is at an all time low, so I guess all the hours spent on blogilates workouts in the past 2 weeks are starting to pay off.

PS my fave musician released a new track today, It‘s in german but check out marteria - ‚niemand bringt marten um‘ for some positive vibes, I cried a little.

[the-witch-is-back-xoxo]

//VENT ART//MIA//

Sometimes I catch a glimpse of the girl in the mirror, she stares back at the creature I‘ve become with disgust.

#anamia #anorexik #thinspo #thinspii #thinspr0 #bulimia #mia #anoriexia nervosa #bulimia nervosa #pro ana

[the-witch-is-back-xoxo]

// VENT ART //

thank u guys for the nice response to my last post with the scribbles, despite the poor photo quality lol

I think I might have found a space here, where I can actually share my thoughts, without hurting my friends or worrying anyone. Drawing for me is the easiest and most direct way of expressing myself, and my ed has been a huge part of my life now for 6-7 years. I‘m gonna start sharing more vent art, not to gain anything (I don‘t think any of us actually want to have followers lol) but just to feel less alone in the hell I have pulled myself into.

please don‘t steal, and please don‘t reblog with non-ana tags, we don‘t want to drag anyone down this rabbithole right

Stay safe, have a glass of water for me, maybe some peppermint tea

#pro ana #anorexik #thinspo #thinspiration #thinspii #thinspr0 #not ana just using tags #anarexicc #ana mia #bulimia

[the-witch-is-back-xoxo]

Thinspo/Vent art.

I really hope this doesn‘t do harm. I just doodled the ‚perfect version‘ of myself, and really wanted to share these sketches, can‘t do that with my irl friends obvi. please don‘t steal these, they are kinda personal

btw i can totally hear my mom say „yeah she always liked mangas, she probably wanted to look like one of these japanese drawings“ at my funeral lol

#thinspo #thinspiration #pro ana #anamia #bulimia #ana mia #anarexicc #anorexik

[the-witch-is-back-xoxo]

[the-witch-is-back-xoxo]

DAY 5: why I really want to loose weight

Hm. thats difficoult to say. I think I do care about what other people think, how they see me, but not in the ‚I need to look fuckable to every person in this room way‘- the thing is, I am an artist, and I know I am good. (can‘t show you proof lol this is my lil secret) I haven‘t met most of my clients in real life yet, so they only know about my artistic skills, not about my look. Theres this cliche of the artist that only cares about their art, not about themselves, and I really don‘t want these people to think I am like that, I want them to percieve me as well put together, still kind of a mess, but in the „oh I forgot to eat, my bad“ not in the „I spent the past 3 weeks on the couch with chips and soda“ way.

TL:DR: I want to be seen not only as an artist but also as a hot person lol.

Also theres the whole thing about actually wanting to kill myself slowly and silently, so I don‘t shock everyone around me with a sudden suicide, but to waste away, pound by pound, to get sicker and sicker, until everybody gives up on me, so I can leave, peacefully.

#TW SUICIDE #Suicidal #mention of SH #30daychallenge #anamia #bulimia #ana #proana

[the-witch-is-back-xoxo]

March 12th

weigh in: 153 lbs

fasted: 40 hrs

breakfast: 145 cals

lunch: 355 cals

snack: 333 cals

dinner: 185 cals

total: 1018 cals

exercise: 540 cals

Sooo... I guess I was really holdin on to some water weight? lost 3 lbs overnight and started the day quite extatic. Sadly I ended up binging on chocolate in the afternoon (thats that 300 cal snack lol). I purged afterwards but well whatever. I could blame my period for the chocolate craving, but I think I need to break the next long fast with something high in protein. I went for a mango-smoothie this morning, to take it eaasy on my stomach but It just made me more hungry. Doesn‘t help that I fell down the rabbit hole of Korean sweets/cooking/baking videos on youtube.... Gonna chug some cucumber water and peppermint tea and pray that I didn‘t gain.

On a more positive note, my body fat % is at an all time low, so I guess all the hours spent on blogilates workouts in the past 2 weeks are starting to pay off.

PS my fave musician released a new track today, It‘s in german but check out marteria - ‚niemand bringt marten um‘ for some positive vibes, I cried a little.

#thinspiration #anamia #tw calories #calorie mention #log

[the-witch-is-back-xoxo]

DAY 4: Greatest fears about weight loss

Honestly saggy boobs.

I know theres the whole thing about never beeing thin enough, dying a slow and agonizing death but right now my tatas worry me the most. I have a D/C cup, and honestly when I loose weight and they shrink there might be too much skin and they will just look... deflated. Need a sugar daddy to pay for reduction surgery or smth, I would honestly kill to be a member of the itty bitty titty comitte

#thinspo #30daychallenge #tmi #ana #anamia #proana #bulimia #thinspii

[the-witch-is-back-xoxo]

March 11th

weigh in: 156 lbs

fast: still going strong

food: none

exercise: 550 (1 1/2 hrs of walking)

my parents weren‘t home so I pulled the absolute big brain move and cleaned the entire kitchen. No suspicion bc of the lack of dirty dishes from lunch + best daughter moment + cleaning cooking utensils is actually an amazing appetite supressant. seriously. It gets disgusting.

Also I got a 2L bottle of Pepsi light on sale, overall great day 10/10, gonna video-chat with some friends tonight. Am currently chugging lemon water + peppermint tea in hopes of breaking that fucking plateau and loosing some water weight overnight.

#thinspo #ana #proana #tw calories #calorie mention #fast #eating disorder #log #anamia

[the-witch-is-back-xoxo]

DAY 3: FAVE THINSPO

Ok I don‘t have that ONE thinspo right now, u know the one you make your wallpaper or glue to your fridge, but I fucking love this pic so much I‘t just cracks me up (my monkey brain is very easily entertained).

I do have a pair of vegan Doc Martens and I can‘t wait for my feet look like that, cartoonishly big and chunky underneath some stick legs. Also I want to act shamelessly goofy in public and take joke-pics like this for instagram and still look somewhat hot?

#30daychallenge #thinspo #tnspii #thinspro #ana #proana #mia #anamia

[the-witch-is-back-xoxo]

March 10th

weigh in: 156 lbs (shoot me)

fasted: 19hrs

lunch: 329

snack: 123

dinner: 198

total: 650

(+b/p -ing later in the evening bc I obviously hate myself enough to self-manipulate once more so 200-300?)

exercise: 700 (run) + 200 (blogilates) + 300 (a long walk in the evening) = 1200 (Can we just ignore the hypocricy of this high af number and me ranting about the dangers of over-exercising yesterday please thank you)

Parents aren‘t home tmrw might fuck around and yunno fast 24+hrs to get off that fucking plateau finally. I am trying my hardest not to freak out about the slight gain tho, I did just start my period so... also according to my body analysis scale (yes I have one because I have no self control when it comes to purchasong anything that could possibly assist in weight loss) my body fat % lowered while my muscle % went up, so at least I didn‘t gain fat, and the muscles will hopefully help burning off the pounds, right? idk.

Oh also, besides the point but, I will probably work on a project with one of my absolute favourite artists soon, he lives in the same city I will visit for uni entrance exams in late april, so I really need to get my shit together just for the slim chance he hits me up for a coffee or something while I‘m there.

#thinspro #thinspiration #ana #proana #mia #buliima #bulimist #anamia #notproobviously #i will not tell you which artist lol #hes not really that famous but he works with some really famous people #and then theres me #this chubby fuckup crying on tumblr about it #great #log

[the-witch-is-back-xoxo]

you know what

YOU GONNA LOSE THIS FUCKING WEIGHT

[the-witch-is-back-xoxo]

Do you guys ever feel awkward reblogging so many things from the same mutual? Like I promise I’m not creepy, I just really like your vibes🥺