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thatfraudcassandra

Escape the burning wait

Changing the world, one reklamo at a time. Previously thereticentraconteur and coeurdalene.

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thatfraudcassandra · 5 days

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Once again, end your NYT subscription

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thatfraudcassandra · 1 month

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The worst horror stories in my opinion always start out in a quiet room, in the middle of the night. Hands on thighs, fingers pressed against lips. One thing to watch it onscreen, another to live it. The former not any less horrifying.

Which is why filmmakers who dare to tell these stories have a daunting task. It has to be non-gratuitous. It has to be redemptive for the survivor. It has to be freeing. It has to give a voice back to those who were scared into silence because the reality is unspeakable.

Iti Mapukpukaw is not devoid of flaws. For one, there’s a noticeable lack of trigger warning that aids in its dramatic reveal but doesn’t shield survivors from reliving trauma they don’t want to unpack. I think movies like this should be approached with a truckload of caution and should be pockmarked with asterisks.

Some parts are kooky, like the bouncing appendage, which I think takes away from the heaviness of the material. Not generally a bad thing, but I prefer my feelings to not be confused in the moment.

But much more can be said about its gentleness. The tender, raw emotion in Precy’s eyes when she’s asked if she’s okay. The fact that no one had to be crude about the details of the assault (aside from the aforementioned genitalia). The slow unfolding of Eric’s memories, remembering what he buried deep because it was too shameful and too life-altering to remember. The initial frustration in Carlo when he doesn’t see Eric’s monsters, and his eventual understanding and pretending to slay the aliens that plague him. The reclaiming, the redemption.

You lose parts of yourself to trauma, and while this film takes that to its most literal sense, it doesn't feel contrived. It feels...like naming what exactly ails me. And that I can overcome it. It’s a horror story where the final girl slays her demons. It’s hope enough for me.

#iti mapukpukaw #film #movies i've seen #movies

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thatfraudcassandra · 6 months

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thatfraudcassandra · 6 months

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2 months ago I found a lump somewhere in my body, and I watched it with morbid curiosity until I realized it could be something serious. I came home from the doctor with a BI-RADS 4 classification. "Suspicious for malignancy". Not exactly what you want staring back at you when you read your ultrasound results, but life has a wicked sense of humor.

So off I went to get it biopsied like the obedient patient I am, and I'm still not 100% sure what it is, but I'm getting "treatment" for it anyway. I live in fear that I'm getting treated for the wrong thing, that we missed something and I fucked myself up permanently. The human body is a curious little thing in that there could be 100,000 things that could kill you. I obsess about every single one, furiously Googling and writing spreadsheets to list my symptoms, medication, the food I eat. I have the health anxiety of an octogenarian. I suspect I have a mild inclination toward insanity. I find myself making playlists and Letterboxd lists labeled "grief" or "when it happens", but I abandon the project midway through because I'm terrified of the power of suggestion. Even writing this meant speaking the situation into existence, and I'm tempted to select all+delete. But it's been eating at me for weeks, enough for me to quit working for a week because of the enormity of the emotions. I never wanted to be one of those people whose topic of conversation is always about the constellation of illnesses that plague their existence, but here we fucking are.

Ugh.

I feel like I've reached the pinnacle of bad luck this year so I'd be happy to get off this train now, thankyouverymuch.

#personal

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thatfraudcassandra · 7 months

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This video is a great place to start being educated about the history of this conflict. I've seen posts that say this kind of violence shouldn't have to be contextualized, that the war and violence inflicted upon by Hamas and Palestinians need to be condemned, full stop. Sorry but that just feels like a cop-out, a way to say "no justification is possible for this carnage done to the Jewish people", but when this exact same thing was done to Palestinians and worse, we just accepted it. Yes, it's possible to hold space for compassion for both Israeli and Palestinian civilians while denouncing IDF and Hamas, but it should also be possible to be educated about why this is happening in the first place. This is institutionalized discrimination started by white colonialists, and to this day, we perpetuate that by only starting to care when blonde blue-eyed Israelis start dying.

#opinion

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thatfraudcassandra · 7 months

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30 days of film: Alphabet

Favorite Z movie

Zodiac (2007)