tears-of-a-gemini

[tears-of-a-gemini]

always the other woman.

[tears-of-a-gemini]

A Glimpse of Us - Reyna

inspired by Joji's Glimpse of Us ~ please listen to it while you read!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvOpPeKSf_4

She'd take the world off my shoulders If it was ever hard to move She'd turn the rain to a rainbow When I was living in the blue He loved Piper, really. She was comforting and happy - always uplifting his spirt whenever he needed a shoulder to cry on or someone to hold onto when his mind is lost adrift in cloudy memories. Why then, if she is so perfect Do I still wish that it was you? Perfect don't mean that it's working So what can I do? (do ooh) She's perfect. Familiar, and what everyone expected of him - with her choppy brown hair and his electric blue eyes. Ever since that day he woke up on that bus, she's all he's ever had that was consistent. Stable, comforting. But some part of him (especially on the late nights around the campfire) wishes that her hair was obsidian black and eating jellybeans instead of marshmallows - but it's all too late and he doesn't want to hurt Piper because he loves her. When you're out of sight In my mind 'Cause sometimes I look in her eyes And that's where I find a glimpse of us So he banishes that part of him away and buries his face in her shoulder and tries to forget memories he once wished he'd never forgotten. But it always comes back when he looks into Piper's eyes during those moments. When they're laughing just a bit too hard, when they're cuddling around a fireplace, and especially when they're visiting New Rome. Through her multicolored eyes, he sees her. Her black hair whipping around her face as she rides Scipio, the way she looked when she fell asleep while doing paperwork late at night with a coffee still in her hand, the blazing fire in her dark eyes as she fought with him against the titans (always silently guarding his back), and the way her lips, her voice, and her eyes looked and sounded when she whispered to him that she loved him. And I try to fall for her touch But I'm thinking of the way it was Said I'm fine and said I moved on I'm only here passing time in her arms Hoping I'll find A glimpse of us

But he can't go back and change everything. He wishes he could, sometimes. But he can't. So he holds onto Piper, trying to banish memories and regrets while he presses kisses into her hair. He hates the way he loves those candid moments because deep down, he knows it reminds him of Reyna. He holds Piper, telling her he loves her and reassuring her whenever Reyna gets mentioned. "I love you Piper, not her. Always have and always will," Tell me he savors your glory Does he laugh the way I did? Is this a part of your story? One that I had never lived

It falls apart when he's invited to Reyna and Malcolm's wedding. He wonders if they're in love like how he and Reyna used to be. He wonders if this could've been what he could've had. One that he could have lived if he had gotten his memories back. If he didn't forget her. One that he could have lived if he wasn't a coward. The life he could have had with her. Maybe one day you'll feel lonely And in his eyes, you'll get a glimpse Maybe you'll start slipping slowly And find me again (again) He hates everything about their wedding. He hates how much he wishes it was him in Malcolm's place. He hates the way her eyes light up when she sees him. He hates the perfect venue she has - just too similar to how he used to envision his wedding with Reyna. He hates himself for wishing that maybe, just maybe, Malcolm's just his replacement, that Reyna's heart is still his and that he and Reyna will be together once again in the future. He hates these thoughts that he can't stop thinking while he watches them exchange vows. Jason knows that none of these wishes will ever happen; the way her eyes sparkle when she sees Malcolm and the way she'd look at him like he was the only good thing to happen in the world, like they were the only two there - the exact same way she did to him years ago tells him that she's only going to see Malcolm and that he doesn't have a place in her heart anymore.

When you're out of sight In my mind 'Cause sometimes I look in her eyes And that's where I find a glimpse of us And I try to fall for her touch But I'm thinking of the way it was Said I'm fine and said I moved on I'm only here passing time in her arms Hoping I'll find A glimpse of us

At the reception, Jason slow-dances with Piper. They're sort of secluded, away from the main venue, and he's grateful for that. He doesn't want to (and can't) handle to see any more of Reyna and Malcolm. But he knows, even if he can't see them, that she's gone, too far away for him to reach and he's falling apart because of that. His heart aches so badly, Jason's struggling to keep himself from breaking down so he relies on good, sweet Piper for support once again. 'Cause sometimes I look in her eyes And that's where I find a glimpse of us And I try to fall for her touch But I'm thinking of the way it was Said I'm fine and said I moved on I'm only here passing time in her arms Hoping I'll find A glimpse of us

He avoids eye contact with Piper though, as he savours the comfort and support she brings with her. He's afraid that the glimpse in Piper's eyes may be the final straw for him to break down at Reyna's wedding. So, he buries his face into Piper's shoulder like he always does when he thinks of her as they continue to slow-dance. He hates it but while the night slowly fades away at Reyna's wedding to another man, Jason can't help but to think of Reyna and him.

#jeyna feels #jeyna #angst #pjo series #jason grace #reyna avila ramirez arellano #jason and reyna #glimpse of us #joji glimpse of us #fanfic #piper mclean #percy jackson #heroes of olympus

[tears-of-a-gemini]

i can't believe this completely flopped 😭THIS IS MY FAVORITE THING IVE WRITTEN

he doesn’t remember her, the girl with dark black hair that threw herself in front of him and piper, taking the spear for him and saving their lives.

he doesn’t know that he once held her in his arms, loving her to the point where he felt like he didn’t have air. he loved her and needed her and they were once everything, now reduced to nothing in just a year.

“who are you?”

and although he doesn’t know her and her life is running out, he kneels down and tries to stop the blood flow. he doesn’t realize that the shirt she’s wearing underneath her layers of armor was once his. he doesn’t know that the heart buried underneath walls and layers of protection was also and forever his. he doesn’t notice the tiny grimace she lets out, when she looks into his eyes and realizes that he still doesn’t remember.

“hold on, you’ll be alright, the medic’s almost here, you’ll be okay don’t worry, you’ll seen your family tonight i swear to the gods”, jason frantically comforts the girl before screaming for a medic. but it’s too late now and he still doesn’t know or understand that.

so as he rips open her armor straps with shaky hands and tries to staunch the wound that’s soaking blood into his shirt and piper is screaming for a medic, reyna realizes one thing. their end is near. her end is near, and she’s okay with that, as long as jason’s safe. she flashes a small smile at him (one that he finally noticed) and whispers that it’s okay.

“it’s too late but that’s okay.”

the girl’s obsidian black eyes find the sky after she smiles at him. she’s thankful that the sky, right now, is the same color of his eyes, the same shade of blue as her favorite blue jelly beans and the same shade they painted jason’s room.

he’ll be alright, with piper and percy and annabeth and both camps taking care of him, she thinks with her time running out. she wishes she had more time, more time to live, more time with jason, more time with her family and more time to fix her past mistakes. but there’s not enough of that now and she thinks that it’s all worth it in the end to see jason safe.

“i love you”

and with that, she’s gone. her eyes fixed to the sky and jason’s hands still trying to staunch the wound, she’s gone.

jason doesn’t find out her name until after the war and who she is. reyna, he tests her name on his tongue, arms wrapped around piper. thank you, he thinks, not knowing the depth of things she’s given him. he’s safe and happy watching the sunset, hugging the girl he thinks that he’s ever loved the most (but the girl he really loved is now cold and grey and gone and in a casket, never to return).

he doesn’t find out everything until after his death as an old man.

“i’m sorry”

[tears-of-a-gemini]

i've always liked water

and i guess it reminded me of you

the blue blue blue ripples

with your bright bright bright smiles

a stunning, rippling expanse of green-blue

nothing can even compare to how stunning your smile is though

calming; even gentle at some points

just like you were

until it lulls you in too far

and you can't find your way back to shore

and if you're not careful

it'll surround you and pull you in

suffocating you as you frantically gasp for air,

wishing you were safe and sound back on shore

but you're too far in now

and there's no going back

there's no turning back

so

why not just give in?

— the thoughts of you that haunt me at night

#poetry #shit writing #middle of the night thoughts #i miss you #dark poetry

[tears-of-a-gemini]

“I break my own heart by expecting people to be as attached to me as I am to them.”

— Unknown

[tears-of-a-gemini]

“Don’t throw away your logic for an emotion you will feel temporarily.”

— Malanda

[tears-of-a-gemini]

he doesn’t remember her, the girl with dark black hair that threw herself in front of him and piper, taking the spear for him and saving their lives.

he doesn’t know that he once held her in his arms, loving her to the point where he felt like he didn’t have air. he loved her and needed her and they were once everything, now reduced to nothing in just a year.

“who are you?”

and although he doesn’t know her and her life is running out, he kneels down and tries to stop the blood flow. he doesn’t realize that the shirt she’s wearing underneath her layers of armor was once his. he doesn’t know that the heart buried underneath walls and layers of protection was also and forever his. he doesn’t notice the tiny grimace she lets out, when she looks into his eyes and realizes that he still doesn’t remember.

“hold on, you’ll be alright, the medic’s almost here, you’ll be okay don’t worry, you’ll seen your family tonight i swear to the gods”, jason frantically comforts the girl before screaming for a medic. but it’s too late now and he still doesn’t know or understand that.

so as he rips open her armor straps with shaky hands and tries to staunch the wound that’s soaking blood into his shirt and piper is screaming for a medic, reyna realizes one thing. their end is near. her end is near, and she’s okay with that, as long as jason’s safe. she flashes a small smile at him (one that he finally noticed) and whispers that it’s okay.

“it’s too late but that’s okay.”

the girl’s obsidian black eyes find the sky after she smiles at him. she’s thankful that the sky, right now, is the same color of his eyes, the same shade of blue as her favorite blue jelly beans and the same shade they painted jason’s room.

he’ll be alright, with piper and percy and annabeth and both camps taking care of him, she thinks with her time running out. she wishes she had more time, more time to live, more time with jason, more time with her family and more time to fix her past mistakes. but there’s not enough of that now and she thinks that it’s all worth it in the end to see jason safe.

“i love you”

and with that, she’s gone. her eyes fixed to the sky and jason’s hands still trying to staunch the wound, she’s gone.

jason doesn’t find out her name until after the war and who she is. reyna, he tests her name on his tongue, arms wrapped around piper. thank you, he thinks, not knowing the depth of things she’s given him. he’s safe and happy watching the sunset, hugging the girl he thinks that he’s ever loved the most (but the girl he really loved is now cold and grey and gone and in a casket, never to return).

he doesn’t find out everything until after his death as an old man.

“i’m sorry”

[tears-of-a-gemini]

and so as he watches her intake a deep breath to steady herself (the exact way she does when she's nervous or about to jump into a deadly fight, ready to protect everything that she loves - including him, the city and dreams that they used to share, and all her friends and family), he feels his consciousness screaming at him to stop her from walking down the aisle and away from him for the last time. he studies her eyes - the same eyes and face that he's loved for 15 years now; not including the 4 years that he lost without his memories - and realizes that she's gone, far too gone from him now. so he sits down with clenched fists and teary eyes beside his girlfriend, piper. sweet, beautiful piper who he was supposed to be the perfect couple with; and they would be, if he still didn't love reyna. so as he sits ignoring his 14 year old self (the same one that fantasized at night about what he and his fellow praerator would look after growing old together and even had their children's names prepared) in the back of his brain who's screaming at him to stop the wedding and make everything right again. but he doesn't - he's happy with piper, reyna's happy with Malcom, so what's the point in it now? but still, his eyes tear up as he watches her step down the aisle towards malcom (the spot he knows he should be in instead) and with each step, the ruins of what used to to be the strongest couple in the world crumble to dust - never to be restored back to their former glory ever again. and even though the thing is, he's willing to do anything to repair it still, but he's just. too. late.

#jeyna feels #hey yall guess who's back after disappearing #hehe im thinking abt writing a series or long fanfic but idk

[tears-of-a-gemini]

"by the way, if i could have any guy in the world to love, i still would pick you, jason grace." she said randomly, while they were discussing plans for the city in a moonlit garden above new rome, their hands entwined. he stared at her, one hand holding the reports and papers while his brain quickly processing the words; trying to think of a response but unsure how to respond without sounding overly cheesy or dumb. she laughed, shaking her head "that was so offtopic and so chees-" he cut her off, bumping his mouth clumsily with hers; too busy smiling to kiss her properly. when he pulls away because he's smiling too hard, he takes note of her messy hair, hastily stuck in a braid, the jelly beans scattered on the floor, and realizes just how much he loves her - from the tips of her agile fingers, mutual love for jellybeans to the bags under her eyes from nights spent awake doing paperwork together. "kiss me properly" reyna laughed pulling his gaze back towards her. "gladly" he grinned and leaned forwards. as he leaned, their faces inches apart, he tenderly tucked a stray strand of her hair behind her ear and when their gazes met, sparked by electricity, he reached behind her, grabbed the bag of jelly beans and mischievously ran off, dropping jelly beans everywhere. reyna rolled her eyes and laughed, chasing after him with her dogs playfully barking at their heels. and when she tackled him to the ground, their bodies hitting the cool earth and giggling like five year olds, he gazed up at her - her hair coming undone from her braid, eyes full of laughter and love and her full lips, he whispers (his voice so quiet but filled with infatuation and lover), "i love you rey".

and with that, he jolts awake - his body and arms wrapped around a different girl, miles away from where he should be, miles away from the girl with the jellybeans, the girl with the dogs, the girl with his heart.

#jeyna #jeyna fluff? #wow i suck at writing fluff #jeyna feels #jeyna supremacy

[tears-of-a-gemini]

they weren't anything more than two dreamers in love, reyna reflected. a pair of dreamers with big hopes for their city; the late nights they'd spend sitting at their spot (a hidden bit of land behind the grape vines of the garden of bacchus), under the stars and above their city, planning, hoping and dreaming of great big things. he, a bright, mischievous idealist with vivid hopes of what their city and they could be. she, a guarded and reserved leader who had (secretly) always idealized love and with dreams and ambitions for new rome. nothing but a pair of foolish dreamers, reyna (new rome's cursed, stone cold praetor, gossipers would whisper) would scoff whenever she even remotely thought of what they used to be (oh, but weren't they so, so, so, much more than that?). foolish, young praetors, drunk on the euphoria of being young and at what they thought the world. but what they didn't know was how easily and quickly their world would be shaken apart. the bright, mischievous idealist would find someone else overnight and forget about their dreams, their hopes, their city and them. their world that they worked so hard to build fell apart in an instant, with her desperately trying to fix the fractures and him, with eyes only for someone else. foolish dreamers, said a voice that would haunt her at night, reminding her of what they were (only foolish dreamers, only foolish dreamers, nothing more, she'd remind herself and chant it like a mantra). and without his arms around her at night, like how they were in the past, fending nightmares away from each other, she realizes that all she can do is finish her promise (give up, the voice would whisper, he didn't keep his, did he?) to him and forget the mischievous, idealistic hero who was once the world to her.

#reyna avila ramirez arellano #jeyna feels #jeyna #literally this is all over the place but i needed to get this down #angst

[tears-of-a-gemini]

the ship's gone. he's gone. whatever existed between us is also gone. and all that's left is my promise that I'll return the athena parthenos. and it's only now that when he's gone and with someone else that i can now fully appreciate what we had. but what's the point? he already left me ages ago, when he disappeared from camp. of course, i can't really blame him - he didn't have a choice. but why, why did percy remember annabeth and all jason does is show up, arm around a pretty charmspeaker and simply asking to show her our city? he wants to show her the city that we protected, loved and took care of. the nights we spent eating jellybeans and filling out paperwork. the days we spent sparring and training. the evenings we spent (with his arm around me) gazing at the stars above our sleeping city and him promising that we'll be forever (how could our silly romance that came in the form of sharing coffee, kisses that tasted like hot chocolate, glances held for just a moment too long, last forever?). but of course it didn't last, how could a promise made by a 14 (and a half he'd say with twinkling eyes and a mischievous smile) year old boy, drunken on the euphoria of becoming a praetor with his girlfriend, stand against the will of a major prophecy, fate and the gods? and as i watched the ship, just a mere dot in the distance, fade away, i remind myself he's gone and it's time to let go of any idea of him coming back.

#jeyna feels #jeyna #reyna avila ramirez arellano #jason grace #wow why is my writing so repetitive wtf

[tears-of-a-gemini]

he somehow ended up holding this one special place in her heart, even though she tried to keep her heart guarded like she always did in the past. and even if she did guard her heart, she couldn't help but always secretly (desperately, foolishly) idealized love and romance, wanting a special person that chose her and held onto her as tightly as she would with them.

even if she wanted it, she was a daughter of war, not the daughter of love or silly romances. and when the actual daughter of love came around, he chose her. how could she ever compare to a daughter of love? she wasn't nearly as beautiful or even as important as she was in his heart. but she didn't even care, as long as he was back and happy, until she realized that she lost him the day he disappeared without a trace. even as he was living, breathing, and happy with her, she realized that even though he was back, her jason died the moment he disappeared from new rome.

#jeyna #jeyna feels #more trash coming at you yes #idk what the fuck this is

[tears-of-a-gemini]

she thought they stood a chance, with his contagious laughter and bright eyes along with her dark hair and her (slightly) restrained smiles. for a while, everything was blissfully perfect (she'd later wonder if it was all just a game to him and whether she fell for the trap like an idiot) with laughter and mischievous smiles directed at one another from across the room. their form of love (was that even the right word to call it? she'd wonder later on, late at night) came in the form of gazes held at each other for just moments too long, blushing, and playfulness. it was going much too well. she should've known it wouldn't last. nothing ever really lasts for her, she always somehow loses everything at the end.

#jeyna #this is trash #why did you leave

[tears-of-a-gemini]

it's funny how much i loved you even while you only loved her

#unrequited love #unrequited crush