#ziggy figurine
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#ziggy figurine#vintage ziggy figurine#who loves ziggy#1980s ziggy figurine#ziggy holding puppy#collectible ziggy#ziggy played guitar
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 🤍
Oooh, hmm. I don't have anything in the Stargate Atlantis fandom posted yet, mostly because I'm… not done writing anything and plot bunnies keep cropping up, but let's see what I rummage through, in no particular order:
Baku-Ra, YGO DM, 2k, Bakura Ryou, Millennium World, Dreameater AU, Peri-Canon
Summary:
The figurines on his shelf had grown dusty. And, frankly, Ryou had plenty to say about that.
Restoring Force, Quantum Leap, 3k, Sam Beckett/Al Calavicci, Sam Beckett Leaps Home, Genderfluid Ziggy, Discussions of Quantum Mechanics, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, First Kiss
Summary:
"In physics, the restoring force is a force which acts to bring a body to its equilibrium position. The restoring force is a function only of position of the mass or particle, and it is always directed back toward the equilibrium position of the system. The restoring force is often referred to in simple harmonic motion. The force which is responsible to restore original size and shape is called restoring force."
"See also: Response amplitude operator"
Hiraeth, Kingsman, 15k, Harry Hart | Galahad/Merlin/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Celtic Mythology & Folklore, Resurrection, Canonical Character Death, Butterflies, POV Merlin (Kingsman), Supernatural Elements, Character Turned Into a Ghost, Magical Realism, Time Loop, Welsh Mythology & Folklore, Literary References & Allusions, Not Kingsman: The Golden Circle Compliant, Inspired By Real Places, Morally Ambiguous Character, Character Study
Summary:
May the wings of the butterfly kiss the sun, and find your shoulder to light on.
ešretū of a burglar, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), 5k, Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fix-It, Dwarf Culture & Customs, Dwarf & Hobbit Cultural Differences, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Bilbo Baggins Destroys the Arkenstone, Bilbo Baggins Destroys the One Ring, Mentioned Aulë | Mahal - Freeform, Mentions of the Fell Winter, Grief/Mourning
Summary:
The hoard of gold is cursed. Bilbo looks at Thorin and suspects the Arkenstone is, too.
This beautiful, thrice-blasted stone weighs heavily in his hands and he would like nothing better than to give it to another’s. Whose hands, he thinks bitterly, could hold the Arkenstone without breaking under its thrall? No mortal being, and that is certainly the truth.
meḥ ȧb menkh, Stargate SG-1, 31k, Jack O'Neill/Teal'c, Jack O'Neill & SG-1 Team, Bra'tac & Jack O'Neill, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Marriage Contest - Must Win in Ritual Combat Against Potential Spouse, Marriage of Convenience - To Extend Legal Rights/Protections To Partner, Wedding Night – Consummation, POV Jack O’Neill, Smart Jack O’Neill, Worldbuilding, Politics, Jaffa culture, Tok’ra Culture, Families of Choice, Team as Family, Family Shenanigans, The Love Is Requited They’re Just Idiots, Yearning, Romance, Love Languages, First Kiss, Declarations Of Love, Foreplay, Sexual Content
Summary:
Egyptian, "perfect filler of the heart, a title".
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QL 1x6 Thoughts/Reactions/Kinda Review
Spoilers ahead...
The scene in the bar where Ben is barely registering what Naomi is saying is THE ADHD EXPERIENCE. This is me in any noisy environment. "Sorry huh? What? My brain was too busy hearing the bass tones of a conversation across the room to hear what you said.
2. Basically this:
3. I'm glad we got a bit of an explanation about how the imaging works and why they can see Ben as himself, including on monitors. But I still have so many questions about how the leaping works in this show. I thought they like merged together, but they keep emphasising that Ben has the physical capabilities - and limitations - of the leapee, which only makes sense if his mind is the only thing leaping. But whatevs, I guess I can live with that, I just wish they'd bring it up less.
4. I love that Ian doesn't assume Martinez's gender and uses they/them. *chef's kiss* once again, Ian is the stand-out character of the series for awesomeness.
5. On the same note...
A++ character
6. The ways they skirted around the pilot footage were creative. Such as the handlink screwing up so she is given an older model. For the record I like the older model better if only for the classic noises <3
7. Emotional stuff with Ben's mother was good, and I enjoyed the parallel with the original series pilot, though Sam actually got to talk to his father.
8. Effects were the best of the season, I guess because of the pilot money.
9. Cowboy figurines lol
10. I liked all the timey-wimey talk, but as a long-time sci fi watcher, it was all a little obvious to me.
11. I am intrigued by Leaper X, and what he's doing. If he was in the 19th century too then whoever sent him had the same idea as Ben. After this episode it's been made clear he's not meant to be a villain, but just some guy doing what he's told. And Ben trying to get to the future is an interesting development. For what?? And how does Janis fit into all this, as she planned this with Ben? What does SHE know about the future, and how? She's using Ziggy to predict things now, but that only happened after Ben leaped.
I really hope they start giving us answers peppered into the coming episodes, the suspense is killin' me bruh!
12. Pretty sure this is captioned incorrectly, considering the surrounding dialogue
13. Allison Pregler was right on Twitter and in the QLP insofar as the transitions between 2022 and the leap time were extra jarring this time around. The project stuff was very procedural, and then we get all these dramatic scenes with buildings collapsing in the meantime. I don't know how to strike a balance here tbh. I appreciate what they're going for, but I dunno.
14. To be entirely honest, I kinda forgot a lot of the episode once it hit the leap out and we got the glorious introduction to the O Ye of Little Faith. HOT DAMN gimme that spooky goodness, I am a sucker for cheesy horror.
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Ornaments, Figurines and Pins, by Flora Panichelli on Etsy
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OC playlist for an old bastard I’ve had kicking for over a decade: Hanne. There’s… a lot going on with him in terms of backstory and how it connects into who he is in the modern era, but the simplest way I can put it is:
He was childhood friends with Shakespeare and partial inspiration for his penning of Hamlet and he can’t fucking die because Shakespeare pulled some Faustian Contract nonsense after he died.
I made him in high school so obviously there’s edge lord stink just radiating off of him, being all moody and closed off but I think anyone would probably be that way if they’d been stuck in the form of a 17-20 year old since the 17th century and can’t just yeet off this mortal coil after humanity peaked with the creation of Dippin Dots or whatever.
He’s pretty much spent the entire time hopping from place to place, trying to not get found out as an immortal, trying to locate the contact that’s binding him to this side of existence, while also “exorcising” other people’s contracts that are clearly having poor effects on them and the people around them.
The only person he really interacts with in the regular is his roommate/caretaker, Dorian Gray (no, not THAT one, this one is a simulacrum which is a whole ‘nother story), so he tends to not be everyone’s cup of tea if they’re not used to his mannerisms. Still, he tries his best to be polite.
He also tries not to judge people for being human enough to be desperate, but sometimes their actions’ consequences hit him hard and he can’t help but lash out at them for being so selfish and careless.
Despite how blunt and stiff he is, he’s strangely pretty good with kids because I guess kids just don’t seem to mind awkward adults.
In spite of everything, though, it’s not impossible for him to get excited over things like figurines or collectible items.
Going off this, it’s not hard to imagine he lowkey highkey likes anime even when he insists he doesn’t. He enjoys cooler weather and gets a weird kick out of watching documentaries or TV shows and commentating on what they got wrong or which historical figure they’re hyping up was actually “a cheating bastard who never did pay him back for that round”.
While it’s normal to dislike dishonesty or manipulation, Hanne especially loathes it when people aren’t direct or forthcoming because it ties into what his supposed friend did to him before abandoning him. He also hates unstable heights but will put up with them if he has to.
Overall, he’s a grumpy old man stuck in a young man’s body who just wants some goddamn sleep and I think that’s pretty Mood of him.
Rapid Decompression - Against Me!
Mack the Knife - Bobby Darin
Ziggy Stardust - David Bowie
Acoustic Funeral (For Love In Limbo) - HIM
I Don’t Want To Be Here Anymore - The Airborne Toxic Event
Until I Die - Brandi Carlile
Revival Mode - Every Time I Die
Give Me A Sign - House of Freaks
Soul Like Me - Andy Black
Mountain of Madness - City & Colour
Hear Me Now - Framing Hanley
Need You Here - IDK How But They Found Me
The Hurt, The Hope - As It Is
In the Still of the Night - Cole Porter
The Hospital Blues You Gave To Me - The Gospel Youth
Raw Power - Iggy & The Stooges
On Some Emo Shit - Blink 182
The Cut That Always Bleeds - Conan Gray
Lost In My Mind - The Head and the Heart
Slow Hands - Interpol
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@citialiin said: ❝ haha, what a charade you are. ❞ [ changed the tiniest
bit to sound more like his speech patternz ... ] -> pink floyd sentence starters // accepting !!
the truth was that he absolutely was not expecting that kind of a sentence to fall out of ziggy’s mouth. the face of the matter was that ziggy himself was the charade, definitely so. the man did not even try to hide it - and yet, he thought he did without question. that no one could see through it likely rushed through his mind with all the obviousness of the color red being splashed on a red room wall - assuming red rooms were painted that way. one can understand the reference - all it meant was that it was clear as day what the intention was, what it was meant to evoke. what ziggy was going for was quite simple, really: impossible beauty the likes of which the cosmos could not comprehend; talent that could eclipse the sun and make it the thing that all earth’s life derived from. all humanity would have to live off of ziggy stardust’s precious fucking talent, would they not?
before him sat an alcoholic beverage - did it matter what it was? no, hardly. all of them were the same to him, save for the burning sensation of sake hitting the back of his throat, or the bitterness of wine. those with intense tastes tended to stick out in his mind. this seemed like a cocktail of some sort, the kind he would joke about drinking in his spare time in his study - which, of course, he didn’t have. what person like him would? what a waste of space, when it could be converted into a storage room for pop culture memorabilia? those figurines of his needed a home, after all.
still. he digressed.
he leaned backward in his chair, webbing his hands in front of his lips - hiding his expression as best he could. all that could be seen was the look in his eyes, perhaps. it was a bit like sitting in the corner of one’s favorite restaurant in some undisclosed part of los angeles, perhaps where david lynch himself once dwelled ( or a character of his divulged a dream that later bled into the harsh lines of reality ). a diner on the corner, a cup of tea in front of him, watching the world move around him, but not with him. people always walking outside, passing the window. passing him, never looking. but he always was. ziggy should have known what the truth really was.
that jonathan had always been watching him from the very first time they met. not for any real reason, though partially because this was a business transaction; but because something stunning often had its rough parts. things could be made to look stunning. that was what ziggy was; created, a farce. fake incarnate. how dare he masquerade about as though he truly were something beautiful, of the soil itself? the only truly beautiful things in the world were naturally occurring in nature; flowers, animals - especially those of the colorful variety that could sometimes live in the depths of the sea - and so on, so forth... even that tantalizing cosmos and the ocean at night with the moon hitting the waves softly, cutting it up into digestible pieces was a relaxing sight. it made him feel at home. safe. comfortable. but more than anything else, it confirmed what he already knew about himself.
that no matter what, jonathan cedro velazquez would always be alone. ziggy stardust on the other hand... well. he had the world in his little pocket, did he not? just look at him, so arrogant. how he’d just love to wipe that smirk off his face, mold it into a frown, and plaster it right back on - stretch it as he pleased! DISGUSTING. HE OUGHT TO FUCKING DROP DEAD RIGHT NOW RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM! YOU ALL EXIST FOR MY ENTERTAINMENT, GODDAMN BITCH! SO DANCE FOR ME, DANCE FOR THE FUCKING MONSTER!
‘cause that’s what you are, right? jonathan? are you listening to me?
jonathan bowed his head a moment, closing his eyes; lest he be found out, of course. that little voice in the back of his mind, the snarling wolf, had decided to make its presence known, clearly. that was the way it always went in situations like this.
“ listen, man. i don’t drink. “ finally, the prodigal child says something. about fucking time, dipshit. “ it all tastes like ass to me. last thing i want is to be a mess in front of someone as distinguished as yourself too, y’know. so it’s both. “
a pause, as his hands began to tremble ever so slightly. no, those claws of his were coming out, sharpening against the brimstone, made hotter by the fire burning beneath them. ripe for the picking. that flesh of ziggy’s would be delicious to consume. no... what was he thinking? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? it’s nothing, i swear. it’s nothing... all i want is a little taste of what it’s like to be so GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL! YOU GET IT, DON’T YOU? FUCK OFF, TELLING ME WHAT TO DO! YOU DON’T GET TO DECIDE--
“ drink all you want, but i’m not gonna. waste of fuckin’ time. “
yet again he speaks. how contrived. but if you’d like me to shut up, then by all means. i will. good luck navigating this disaster on your own, jonathan vastielle. what a stupid name. you were really trying to hide something with a PEN NAME LIKE THAT, weren’t you?
jonathan’s brow crinkled, as he finally let out a soft sigh. so soft, it could barely be heard. he rubbed his forehead with his fingers - so bony, so thin - and averted his gaze away to the plush carpet beneath their feet. then, finally, his gaze returned to ziggy - that glamorous rock star. that farce crafted from the ugliest, most rudimentary piece of charcoal found in the center of the earth to be presented as a diamond to all the rich women of the upper east side.
filthy. ...but you can’t really talk, can you?
“ i don’t really know what you’re getting at here. like, you drink all you want, but i’m not a man who gets pressured by people. i just don’t. that shit’s gross and it’s not gonna happen - unless of course you’re paying me extra. but even then, i’d probably just swish it in my mouth and spit it out. make you think i swallowed it. get my drift, man? no is a firm no. “
#citialiin#I. MY CURRENT MOOD? ASK ME IN ANOTHER 100 YEARS. - MAIN.#S. THAT MAN AKIN TO A SPIDER ( BUT IS HE FROM MARS? ). - ZIGGY.#DOES IT HURT? I BET IT HURTS. - ASK RESPONSES.#FAN MAIL LIKE THIS IS A DIME A DOZEN. - ASK MEMES.#( i need to come up w a tag for copia as well; fuk )#( complete the circle of fuckING CURSED SHIT )
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CXXVII - Long, Fun Day
Sportarobbie Fanfiction - The 127th Shortie
Warnings: None :)
Summary: Lazy Town is a small town - a very small town - and the kids don’t really get to experience other places and big cities. With Milford and Bessie being too busy, Robbie and Sportacus decide to take the kids to the nearest city for shopping and having fun.
Robbie and Sportacus smile as they watch the kids play on the playground. They don’t really play like they used to.
They’ve grown older obviously, so now instead of playing make believe, they talk and joke while also playing on the swing and climbing on the monkey bars. Robbie thinks it’s nice actually because now the kids aren’t as noisy, but of course, it is a little sad.
Robbie thinks about what kids these days do when they’re older kids. Robbie doesn’t know any other kids than the ones of Lazy Town, so he isn’t sure. He can sort of picture a group of friends shopping, eating at restaurants, and going to the movies.
That isn’t possible in Lazy Town, or at least not in the scale most people would think about. Lazy Town is such a small town, you’d have to go some place else to do all of that.
Maybe they could do that.
“Hey, Sportaslip.” Sportacus turns his head to Robbie with a smile. “Yes, Robbie?” “Don’t you think the kids would like to see a big city? You know, Experience the excitement and hugeness of it all.”
Sportacus nods. The kids have spent pretty much their entire lives in this small town. Sportacus doesn’t know how things were before he came to Lazy Town, but while he has been here, he and Robbie have taken the kids to a zoo once, and Stingy’s been to the city once to get his ears pierced.
He knows Stephanie hasn’t always lived here so she might have come from a bigger city, but she has spent a very long time in Lazy Town already. A big city would probably be quite an experience for her as well, after all this time.
Sportacus smiles at Robbie: “I think they would like that.” He looks over to the town hall, knowing Bessie and Milford are in there, busy with work.
“Miss Busybody and the mayor are always so busy, having to run this town. Maybe we should take the kids to the city?” Robbie nods with a smile, and it’s already a deal.
Sportacus and Robbie go ask the kids if they’d like to go for a little trip to the nearest big city, and they get an excited response. They quickly set the airship up so that the kids can ride at the back safely, and they’re on their way.
“How long is the flight going to take?” “Long enough for your whining to kill me.”
The kids, fortunately for Robbie, stay quiet enough for most of the trip, but once they land, the kids can’t stay calm. Sportacus has to make them stay in the airship for a moment to take a deep breath and to remind them there’s a lot of crazy traffic out there, so they should be careful.
“Also, Sporty, you’ll have to try not to flip around all over the place, like you usually would”, Robbie says teasingly, and Sportacus shakes his head. “I’ll be careful, I promise.”
Robbie and Sportacus lead on as they go walking in the city. The kids gasp at all the huge buildings and all the cars whizzing past. They walk through the marketplace, amazed at all the stands, the smells, and the people. The kids get maybe even too excited, and when crossing the street, they have to hold hands to keep everyone safe. Ziggy almost got lost as well.
The group goes to a huge mall, and Sportacus stops them by a fountain for some rules.
“Okay guys, this is our meeting place. If you get separated from the others, or if you’re ready to go, you come over here. And everyone gets the same amount of money to use. You can buy anything, as long as it’s within the budget.”
“And it’s legal”, Robbie adds in. Sportacus thinks it is a very valid point, but he shakes his head, not believing the kids would really get anything illegal.
Stingy clears his throat and raises his hand, asking for a permission to speak. Robbie rolls his eyes: “Yes, Stingy?” “What if I find something expensive, over the budget, but I really, really, really want it?” Sportacus chuckles: “Then we can negotiate.”
When Sportacus gives permission, everyone starts heading different ways. Stingy and Pixel go wandering together, while Trixie follows Stephanie. Ziggy clings onto Sportacus: “Can I come with you?” “Yes, of course, Ziggy.”
Pixel and Stingy head to an electronics store first, though it doesn’t seem like they’re going to buy anything from there.
“Pixel, look at this.” “Yeah, so?” Stingy points to a small electronic device: “Look at the price tag!” Pixel lets out a tiny gasp: “Woah, that is expensive!” “Yes! And you could easily build that yourself, couldn’t you?” “Yeah, I could. All of this is really expensive, and to be honest, I can’t see anything I couldn’t make.” Stingy nods, and they get out of the store.
Stephanie gets fascinated by the fancy cosmetics section. It’s all so white and shiny, and the shelves are filled with different brands Stephanie didn’t even know existed. While she looks at all the products wide-eyed, Trixie follows behind her, understanding even less than Stephanie of all the things on the shelves.
“Hey, Trixie, smell this perfume!” Trixie sniffs the bottle and makes a funny face. “That’s weird! What is it?” “I have no idea”, Stephanie giggles. She continues going through all of the products, showing Trixie the strangest ones she finds, and Trixie smiles at her amazement.
Next, Pixel and Stingy step into a jewellery store. Stingy stares at all of the shiny, golden things, gasping at the diamonds. He just loves shiny things. Meanwhile, Pixel follows him around, grinning at Stingy’s excitement.
“Do you think I should get new earrings?” Pixel shrugs: “I don’t know.” “Well much help you are.” Pixel chuckles: “Hey, if you want to get new earrings, get new earrings.” “But should I?” Pixel shakes his head.
Stephanie decides to let Trixie pick where to go next. Turns out Trixie wants to go to the book and art tools shop. There she looks at all kinds of fancy pencils, sketchbooks, and also regular books. Stephanie is very happy to see Trixie embracing her hobbies she usually keeps quite hidden.
“You know, I’ve been thinking about making my own comic book”, Trixie mutters quietly. “Really? That’s so cool!” Stephanie exclaims, smiling wide. Trixie grins: “Yeah. It’s about a superhero that’s like, half penguin. So they’re really good at diving and they can slide on their stomach like a penguin.” Stephanie compliments on the idea, and they continue talking about the possible comic, and all of the hero’s adventures.
Stingy and Pixel go to the game store, which is quite obvious. They look at all of the newest games and also some merchandise. When walking past random games, they point at some game and say: “I bet I could beat you at that game.” Which results in a heated, but joking conversation about why the other could beat the other in the game.
Stephanie goes shopping for clothes. She tries on a lot of clothes - all pink. Trixie is her personal judge, rating all of the clothes. Stephanie also gets Trixie to try something on. Stephanie thinks it looks good on Trixie, but Trixie doesn’t agree.
Sportacus smiles at Ziggy as he walks back to Sportacus and Robbie, holding a big box of candy. Sportacus shakes his head and crouches down to be eye-to-eye level with Ziggy. “It’s okay that you’re buying all of this candy. This is quite special after all. But promise me, you won’t eat it all at once. Okay?” Ziggy nods with a smile: “I promise!”
After the candy shop, Robbie and Sportacus get to wait for Ziggy outside of a toy store. Ziggy doesn’t take long, and soon he comes back with three small toys. He gives Sportacus one of them: “This is for you. I was going to get myself a superhero, but then I wanted to get you something as well, so I got one for both of us!” Sportacus smiles brightly at the sweet gesture and gives Ziggy a hug.
Ziggy then turns to Robbie with a smile: “I got you something as well!” He gives Robbie a small villain figurine. “I thought you’d prefer a villain over a superhero, but I did get you the kindest looking one because you’re really nice.” Robbie accepts the tiny villain, almost tearing up. Sportacus smiles at him and gives him a kiss before they all head to the meeting place.
Once they’ve all gathered up again, Stingy has bought two new pairs of earrings; yellow flowers and rubies - they’re fake, but at least they’re shiny. Pixel, on the other hand, has found a band T-shirt, and he also bought a new video game, while Trixie bought professional drawing pencils and a fantasy book she has read before, but really likes. Stephanie bought a new notebook for writing things down and a pink summery jacket.
Robbie and Sportacus take the kids to see a movie at the movie theatre, and after that, they go to eat at a restaurant. It’s not the fanciest of them all, but it’s a lot fancier than anything they’ve had in Lazy Town.
At the end of the day, the kids are tired, and so are Robbie and Sportacus. The kids sleep through the flight back to Lazy Town, while Robbie tries his best to stay awake so that he can talk to Sportacus, so Sportacus won’t fall asleep.
“Did we have a fun day?” Robbie asks through a yawn. Sportacus nods: “Yes, we did. A long, but fun day.” “Are you still awake?” “Are you running out of things to talk about?” “No... I’m just too tired to think of anything.” Sportacus laughs, and soon Robbie falls asleep. Sportacus smiles at that - Robbie really deserves some sleep right now.
#lazytown#lazy town#sportarobbie#fanfiction#sportarobbie-shorties#fics#sportacus#robbie rotten#married#the kids
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i was tagged by @to-my-chagrin
5 things you’ll find in my bag
journal
100 pens but only 1 works (who knows which one)
keys
inexplicable glitter tube
headphones
5 things in my room
je regrette lyrics written by carl himself (thanks 2 the main babe)
bunch of posters (chat noir poster, ziggy stardust poster, guys and dolls poster, etc)
lots of books
small things from antique shops - including a napoleon figurine!
weird amount of halloween hats
5 things i’ve always wanted to do in my life
publish a book
travel EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD
move to london
be famous
go to a legit haunted house
5 things that i’m currently into
horror films, stories...paranormal stuff generally
‘late night maudlin street’ on repeat
back to the future bc im still playing that game
scooby doo
lock
5 things on my to-do list
go to school tomorrow
finish reading ten years in an open necked shirt
shower
watch freaks (1932)
watch the new little mix music vid
5 things you may not know about me
i cry at every single film at least once
i collect journals, old postcards, letters
i’ve never managed to think of a favourite colour or food but i tend to have a favourite anything
i used to have a recurring dream about someone following me through a labyrinth
i tend to tell people i love them every few hours and i somehow always mean it
i tag @cogito-ergo-dumb @drinksandboybands @icantstandmenow @leguin
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San Myshuno opened Cascabel Plaza in October in order to bring in more sales to businesses within the city during the holiday season. It’s a somewhat popular tourist attraction as well, bringing in people from all over to gawk at a completely festive small scale ‘town’ that you had to be given a map to navigate. To me, it appeared as if Santa’s workshop vomited all over the city park so I hadn’t really cared to go. That is, I hadn’t until the week before Christmas and I realized that I still hadn’t finished buying presents yet.
“Is this the one that you were looking for,” Yulian asked, pointing at a small toy store with a full display in a shop window.
“No, but I really don’t care anymore,” I complained and we headed inside. I was looking for Ziggy the Zebra – rated one of the season’s worst toys on account of how loudly it spoke. Of course, Miguelito loved the cartoons and had asked to receive one from Santa. I overheard Damian tell the little boy that there was some sort of licensing dispute over at The North Pole and it wasn’t possible to receive that toy from Santa this year. Clever… Except I still think Damian’s a douche and wish him misery.
The hell-toy had been pulled from most shelves but you could still buy it from The Eager Kite somewhere in this godforsaken string-lighted maze. Normally, I would be persistent in whatever efforts I needed to make my sister’s fiancé’s life unbearable but after my activities last night combined with those from earlier today, I was incredibly tired. So inside I went, but with the mindset that if I could not get the loudest toy, I would get the loudest one in this shop.
I strolled around with Yulian, pressing every button on every toy; laughingly rating them by annoyance factor, judging the winces on the other adults’ faces nearby. Then we found it: Andy Roid, a small robot toy with blinding flashing lights, missiles, and a horn that also quizzed children on colors, numbers, and the alphabet.
“This one,” Yulian laughed.
“You think this is the worst?”
“Definitely. Your own sister might be tempted to beat you.”
“Perfect. Do you think that I should buy him two of them so he can set them both off?”
“Are you Satan? Shit, that’s evil,” he said, but reached up to grab the two largest versions from a top shelf for me anyway.
My parents were easier to buy for. My mother enjoyed perfumes, particularly Femme Rochas which wasn’t particularly expensive or hard to find. My father preferred silly gadgets, tool sets, or socks. For him, all I had to do was walk into a Sharpened Picture and pick out the most ridiculous item in the store – which I felt was the heated slippers. Socks and gadgetry!
Yulian watched me as I selected the perfume for my mother and pointed to a red dress on display, “You should try that one on.”
“My tetas wouldn’t stay inside that one,” I scoffed.
“Oh? Suddenly you’re shy?”
I chuckled, he’s got me there. “Why? Are you planning on buying me a fancy dress?”
He shrugged, “Maybe you might want something to wear to a New Year’s party.”
I looked at the dress with amusement, “The sort of parties that I’d go to, that dress would be out of place. So,” I said, drawing the conversation away from plans that I hadn’t even made yet, “what’d you come here to get?”
“My mom likes those little trinkets with the big eyes, like the angels and stuff. You know, the ones that always look like they’re about to cry?”
I nodded and we went into Giftmarx where they kept a dizzying amount of Sweet Times figurines for sale. Yulian wasn’t sure which his mother already had so he bought her one of each, “She mostly likes unboxing them anyway,” he explained when I asked what if she’d already had one that he’d placed in his handbasket.
“Fuck, all this is giving me a headache,” Volkov griped when we stopped to rest in front of the fountain, which helped to drown out some of the Christmas music played on the loud speakers.
“Seriously,” I agreed and checked my bags again to make sure I had bought everyone a present. My phone started to blow up, chimes sounding one after the other.
“What’s up?” he asked when I pulled it out of my purse.
“I don’t know, but it’s Cici. No one else sends me texts that fast.” I unlocked my phone to check her messages and felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. Suddenly, everything was too loud – the music, the people talking, the fountain sounds all merged together to a roar in my ears. I sank to my knees, covering my mouth to bite back the bile that rose in my throat.
“Em?!” Yulian cried and dropped to his knees beside me, “What’s wrong? Hey, say something,” he said, trying to pull my hands away from my face.
I shook my head hard, I wouldn’t cry, would not. I barked out a bitter laugh, “I thought you were asking me stupid questions this morning. I must have sounded so stupid. I mean, why wouldn’t I let his sister stay at my apartment?” He looked at me uncertainly, it was really too much. “How long have you known?”
“Known what, Em?”
I grit my teeth angrily, “That he was with THAT WHORE,” I shouted and swung my hand at him.
“Hey,” he said gently and caught my arm, “I found out yesterday. He told me he was going to tell you and I believed him.”
“Give me your keys,” I demanded.
“No,” he answered firmly.
“Give me your fucking keys, Volkov!”
“Any other day but this one. It’s a bad idea, Em.”
“I’m not asking for your goddamn advice,” I growled. “I’m going, get the fuck out of my way.”
He held on to my wrist, “Don’t. Take a few days and calm down before you go. I can get you a ticket to Twikkii Island, you can be there by the morning. You can go by yourself if you need space.”
“Your black card can’t fix this,” I snapped and twisted my arm to break his hold.
“I’m not going to go with you, not for this.” The hurt look on his face did not make me feel guilty. Gene had reason not to tell me, seeing as how we were still fucking as of last night. But Yulian? Why hadn’t he? I felt betrayed by them both.
I glared at him, “Why the fuck would I even want you along?”
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Britain’s May joins ‘pooper’ party as Catalan figurine
Clay “caganers” figures are displayed at the Santa Llucia Christmas market in central Barcelona, Spain, December 14, 2018. EUTERS/Albert Gea
TORROELLA DE MONTGRI, Spain (Reuters) – Britain’s Theresa May has joined the ranks of the famous and powerful in Catalonia as a traditional Christmas figurine.
But with her dignity dented by widespread condemnation of her Brexit plan, she may consider the recognition a mixed blessing.
The hand-painted clay statuettes, known as “caganers” or “poopers”, are depicted with their pants down. The longstanding tradition in the north eastern Spanish region is for them to be hidden among nativity scenes, to be spotted by family and friends.
The British prime minister, along with a Ziggy-Stardust-era David Bowie, are notable additions this year to a series on sale at Barcelona’s Christmas markets that also includes U.S. President Donald Trump and German Chancellor Angela Merkel.
May’s struggle to orchestrate Britain’s exit from the European Union made her a target for the makers of the around 10-centimetre-tall (4-inch) statues. But Trump and Merkel remain customers’ favorites.
“When the Trump (figurine) came out in the New York Times we received more than a thousand orders in one day in the United States,” the owner of caganer.com, Sergi Alos, said from his workshop in the small Catalan town of Torroella de Montgri.
The defecating statuettes are believed locally to bring prosperity for the coming year, and this year’s roster also includes jailed pro-independence leaders awaiting trial for their part in Catalonia’s 2017 secession referendum.
But much of the focus is now abroad, with the United States accounting for some 40 percent of sales, according to caganer.com.
Reporting by Pilar Suarez; Writing by Paul Day; Editing by Ingrid Melander and John Stonestreet
Our Standards:The Thomson Reuters Trust Principles.
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