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lafox · 3 years

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RE:ID Rant! /SPOILERS/

I just finished watching Resident Evil: Infinite Darkness and made some scene pack which you can find here.

I’m not the biggest fan of putting my opinion out there on the internet but I'll try to write my opinion while still be careful.

NO HATE TO ANY CHARACTER LISTED BELLOW THANK YOU!

Anyhow, I need to talk about it!

First of all, amazing character design and rendering. All the characters looks amazing and I adore the little details, for example, Leon's little head twitch or look at the president’s facial details. I think we all agree that they aced in that department. (will talk more about that subject after character analysis)

Now, the plot... the plot.

Look in all honesty it was a nice plot but i felt it went a bit too fast, not enough build up and stuff. I don't have much to say on it, only a few default on the characters and why and how things happen but I'll talk about that through character analysis.

Okay, about our main character Leon.

He was badass, I'm so surprised he knew what to do in the submarine, honestly that was a good scene I was really anxious for him. He did care for the people around him but I didn’t get that sweet side of him like he had in RE2 or in DAM, I'm saying this because even if he saw Shen May’s brother, he didn’t have the empathy of his last wishes, like Shen May basically said: “He doesn’t want this to happen again and that why this *the chip* can help us.” And what annoys me the most and that both the ‘villain's’ didn’t deserve to die so the least he could do is to not make it *the virus* happen again.

I am revolted at Leon for not giving the chip to Claire, not even telling the president about this shit! LIKE BRO. Also denying Claire, thinking he knows best?! Excuse me but Claire literally interviews people, she knows the Press! Anyhow, Annoyed...

Now let’s talk about Claire.

My girl Claire! They made her a side character that didn’t have much to add only confirmation to our suspicions which is good yes, but it isn’t Claire’s job, she deserve a much bigger role in the RE universe! I get it, she was also a ‘side’ character in RE2 and Leon is the star but still tho! She did give #girlboss energy which I am LIVING for! She was stunning! her character design and CGI was beautiful and I've seen a lot of people saying that she is ‘ugly as shit’ as i quote. I’m sorry but she looks realistic and you are going to cry about it? She is around her mid-tweenies, maybe around 27 and you gonna tell me that her being realistic is ‘ugly as shit’?! Yeah nah sorry pal, go and like Shen May (no hate to her, she is gorgeous) then and not our OG Girl Claire!

Claire deserved a bigger role and she is smart, like she is fucking smart! She almost decoded everything before the agents came and kidnap her, one of many reasons she should’ve had a bigger role! (Also please, your hand in marriage Claire ilysm)

Next on the list is Jason.

Okay, I'm sorry but i am in love with him.

I’m sorry okay! He fits the dilf characteristics and I cant-

Anyhow back to analysis.

I feel horrible, he didn’t deserve to die, the man had serious mental illness and PTSD involved, they showed that but they killed him off. Why? Because he wanted to stop the virus from ever happening by his own ways? Even if it is a violent way, there is still, there was a logical and reasonable. Honestly i think and/or probably, a lot of people might relate to him and Shen Mei, because he has PTSD and mental health issues and Shen Mei lost someone close to her and they are both trying to make the world better, in their own way and for Capcom to kill them both is such a shame..

Jason is such a badass tho like.. damn~ He was really well written as a side character, like, I enjoyed when he was on screen (Maybe because i like him but whatever)

Last but not least, Shen Mei!

I’m gonna be real and probs a lot of people are not going to like this but she was the least prominent character for me, like, yes she stands out a bit but for at least 2 episode she is.. just there and having little dialogue. But i did enjoy her twist, i felt like all that nothing from her was worth in someway. She is definitely #girlboss *chef kiss* and i can relate to her on a deeper level. I enjoyed that she silent for 2 episode because i can relate that she doesn’t talk, that she only listen and observes. I enjoy how she will do anything to help the people she love and that think that's what make Shen Mei a great character! Overall i did enjoy her character and i think her side role is very well placed with her personality.

CGI and Rendering Rant

I need to talk about the amount of details in the male characters but lack of it for female characters... You can see how, The President, Jason or Leon have detail, you can see their pores on their skin, you can see their history and age through those CGI detail on their skin and others but.. Claire or Shen May, their skin is perfect. They do have a few details under her eyes but no pores, no small wrinkles, nothing. I think that's a shame. Shen Mei looks absolutely perfect, you cannot tell me that there is any default on her. I think that is marketing.. what I mean is that Shen Mei is an attraction for people to watch REID. She is absolutely stunning and has no default.

I was talking with a friend of mine that studies human biology and we were talking about those details, we went on the subject of the women representation and rendering and we both suspect makeup is involve. What i am saying is that Capcom doesn’t show those pores because : Makeup.

It can be a valid point. Exhibit A is Shen Mei eyelashes and slight makeup, she is meeting the President after all. So of course she would whip out some makeup. (I know i would.) Shen Mei eye Lashes are way longer longer than Claire’s which would go back to out theory of make up.

Photo comparation:

Claire in her hotel room.

Shen Mei in the submarine. You might think that it’s not convincing enough but keep in mind that Shen Mei is looking up as her head is downwards!

Coming back to skin. In the last two picture, yes, you can see pours and details of the face of Shen Mei but i want to talk about normal viewing of the two character VS male character same view point.

Photo comparation:

The girls, looking perfect (ily both sm)

Leon at the (almost) same camera leveling and depth and you see way more characteristic then other female character even when Leon and Claire are around the same age. But they did nail it when the camera was close on both women.

Adding a note that Claire does show a it of characteristics, more than Shen Mei and the we get people calling her ‘Ugly as shit’ for having a realistic face.

Maybe Shen Mei is younger, Probably and surely but I'm 18, i have facial characteristics. the only thing that is realistic is her beauty spot which is a really nice touch I love it.

Anyhow i think I'm done talking about it.

I enjoyed watching the show and i was excited for it! i hope everyone enjoyed it! Also I love all the character, I'm not bullying them or critic them for their physic or anything else! I’m just ranting about things that was ‘negative’ only because i enjoyed so many aspect of it that the post would be longer aahh.

A few positives I will list are:

Camera angles (immerced)

Character movement (No awkward movement or glitch)

Motion blur (None sickening blur, right place Motion blur)

Lighting (Accurate lighting, not forgetting lighting through hair, ear etc)

Animation (Overall fucking amazing like holy shit)

Tension (Performed very well through animation and plot)

Emotion and facial expression ( I could write a whole essay on that, that’s how well they did it)

I think that's it :)

I hope you enjoyed me rambling on about this, i will write soon I've just had a holiday! scheduled writing around the end of next week!

-Chlo

#resident evil #resident evil infinite darkness #re #leon s kennedy #claire redfield #jason #shen mei

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leesh · 3 years

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because i have zero self control when it comes to christmas films and, well, cheesy christmas films are #life.

basically, i have developed a collection of favourites over the years, including both classic christmas films that are fun for the whole family and terrible, dripping with all our favourite favourite cliches hallmark christmas films, and yet i am still always on the hunt for more. so, i thought i would try a little thing to share them with everyone else as well (and actually remember them for future reference)!

check out the tag here i will try and remember to use as i live blog some of these movies or head on down below the cut to see all of the christmas films i’ve watched in 2020. thoughts and star ratings included! as expected, i will also be updating this as i watch more and more this holiday season (follow along on twitter too if you want).

note: since i LOVE terrible hallmark films, some that i give a higher rating will not actually be......critically acclaimed. i am just #obsessed and have my reasons as stated, i’m sure.

holidate (2020)

⭐️⭐️| first time watch | someone on letterboxd compared this movie to when you watch a rom com in sims and it’s just a bunch of random scenes that make no sense and they’re absolutely right. its only saviour is an australian dude and the line “so you know me well enough to cum in my mouth, but you don’t know me well enough to get me a christmas present?”

my christmas inn (2018)

⭐️⭐️| first time watch | i’ll be honest, this film was pretty forgetful. i watched it over a month ago and don’t really remember what happened. however, i do remember being impressed that the leading lady wasn’t a stereotypical thin white woman. so i guess at least it has that going for it.

christmas made to order (2018)

⭐️⭐️⭐️| first time watch | i actually thought this was pretty cute. it’s not the best, but also not the worst, so a decent medium if you need to fill up those figurative christmas stockings. the concept of hiring someone to decorate your entire house with no budget sounds pretty cool, but when the guy is aaron samuels and looks far from straight, it becomes a little questionable.

last christmas (2019)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️| rewatch | now this is not a cheesy hallmark film. in fact, i LOVE this film a lot and think i saw it twice at the cinema. last christmas is a top tier christmas song and i remember theorising about it when the trailer first came out, but i will say tissues may be a requirement to watch this. AND henry golding is my husband thank u and goodbye.

operation christmas drop (2020)

⭐️| first time watch | interesting concept in theory, but this is nothing more than US military propaganda and a cgi lizard. bonus: white saviourism.

the knight before christmas (2019)

⭐️⭐️⭐️| rewatch | a medieval knight transported into today’s world and has never seen a car before can drive better than me. that’s it. that’s the movie. also, he literally says the words “modern technology is lit af” at one point. solid christmas film if you ask me.

the princess switch (2018)

⭐️⭐️⭐️| rewatch | i strongly believe in the vhcncu (vanessa hudgens christmas netflix cinematic universe). i also have so many questions, like how did they afford the flights or solid conversation or was it all expenses paid? how did they finish a bulk of the cake without a mixer? why does everyone always speak english with a posh english accent even though it’s a non-english european country?

the princess switch: switched again (2020)

⭐️⭐️| if we learnt anything from a christmas prince, it’s that sequels are generally never better than their predecessor. that being said, this was much less cute body swapping christmas fluff and a little more literal kidnapping and saving the day. either way, blonde vanessa was hot and i appreciated the amber/richard cameo that insinuates a christmas prince is actually a dramatic documentary.

midnight at the magnolia (2020)

⭐️⭐️| now if you’re after an absolute cheesefest that ticks the boxes on best friends meets fake dating over the holidays, then this is the movie for you! albeit it takes place between christmas and new year’s, it’s still filled with their families knowing they were soulmates the whole time and two people who are a literal too comfortable on the radio. also, the dad’s totally should’ve been gay. they had more chemistry.

christmas wonderland (2018)

⭐️⭐️⭐️| tbh, i genuinely enjoyed this one. post breakup/high school sweethearts is a personal favourite trope of mine, so throw christmas & being forced to spend time together when she goes back home into the mix and i’ll have a serotonin explosion. bonus points for the guy telling the girl to go back to nyc to follow her dreams without being a dick. OH and the scene when he points a fuck load of sugar in his hot beverage.

a wish for christmas (2016)

⭐️⭐️| who doesn’t love a good office romance between a boss and an employee at christmastime? especially when you throw in a little christmas magic that makes her more confident that results in her finally getting what she deserves and having to travel and rekindle with his family? also, fuck them rich white dudes, but props to her for the significant job promotion.

christmas with a prince (2018)

⭐️| this was TERRIBLE and not in the good way. it featured: an entitled prince who suddenly had growth even though he did nothing to achieve it, majority of the film set in one hospital room, and the fact that she’s the only one with a tiara at the party filled with people who actually have titles. also, thought there was a decent ending but turns out there was still another 30 mins to go. ugh.

a royal christmas engagement (2020)

⭐️| don’t be fooled by the title. the engagement doesn’t happen til the last two minutes. it’s actually about a prince (bet you didn’t see that one coming) who travels to america, pretending to be his best friend who works for this major marketing firm because he’s tired of being the spare. this gets one star purely for the line “she’s not a commoner, patrick. she’s an american.”

christmas wedding planning (2017)

⭐️⭐️| it looked like it would be half decent, and while it’s definitely better than the last two, it was still pretty eh. i could get on board with her texting her dead mother’s number as a way to talk to her still, and i understand we all experience grief differently, but.....actively paying your mums phone bill 3 years later? girl. also, the end made me SCREAM. WHY DID THEY DO THAT!!!!

santa girl (2019)

⭐️| this was just painful to watch. evil jack frost makes memes in his free time, santa has a fancy car and doesn’t eat sweets, and there’s an odd comparison between the elves, minimum age workers, and racism. however, one star purely for the entertaining (read: bloody awful) tooth fairy cgi that gave me a right laugh.

the christmas chronicles (2018)

⭐️⭐️⭐️| this was really cute and had the makings of what could be a christmas movie staple along with the likes of elf and the santa clause (but will never reach that standard, obvs). tbh, it’s just a nice heartwarming family christmas movie about two siblings who band together to help santa and save christmas. also, santa was a #dilf.

the christmas chronicles: part two (2020)

⭐️⭐️| one of these days i would love to see a sequel that’s better, or at least on par, with its predecessor, but that day is not today. sadly, this film lacked all the heart and magic the first one was filled with and some scenes were pretty redundant. kurt russell and goldie hawn, however... one star for each of them.

forever christmas / mr. 365 (2019)

⭐️⭐️| the title varies depending where you’re from, but that’s probably the most exciting part of this movie. a guy celebrates christmas 365 days a year and a reality show wants to invade his house? ok, sure. one star for the eye candy and one star for, surprisingly enough, their chemistry and all the kissing scenes that don’t usually make the mark in the hallmark world.

noelle (2019)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️| did i renew disney plus just so i could watch this (and a couple of others)? maybe so... this movie is so fun! and family friendly! and is actually funny! it gives me major elf vibes, but if elf was set in a more modern day setting. either way, i had a great time and have been holding out on this one after loving it a lot last year!

the nutcracker and the four realms (2018)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️| anything nutcracker related is an instant win in my book because it’s my favourite ballet of all time (except for graeme murphy’s version, we don’t talk about that). does this movie actually deserve the four stars? maybe not. am i going to give them anyway purely for my love of the nutcracker and the soundtrack? absolutely!

#leeshmas2k20 #no one probably cares but i just thought it would be fun!#might actually post these on letterboxd too

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lovenona · 3 years

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LONG ask ahead, sorry T^T

*arrives in a hurry after 2-3 days* *slow, appreciative clap at the ted talk* sweetie, have you got any idea how much i adore hearing you ramble about the creation process??? seeing the whole love and dedication you hold for the odyssey makes my day! (and nooo, i'm totally not reading it again bc i want to have all of it in mind for tomorrow and bc it inspires me to no end hahaha what do you mean :) )

here comes yet another question: what kind of powers do you possess to write so beautifully. your writing literally punches me in the gut every single time, even the simplest of things!! it's hauntingly beautiful and i'm living for it!

(and another one) how did you find out how the odyssey was going to end?

also, it's rambling time because i've been thinking. (i do that sometimes.) each chapter title is a reference to a greek myth, and, in particular, odysseus' myth (no clue if i've written his name right, i've always knew him as "ulysse" in my mother tongue ^^;). and so my brain went: oooh nice, greek lore ^^ and then: yo wait. hold up. which brings me here: analysing the chapter titles. (bear with me please, and feel free to ignore my enthusiastic rambling/correct me if i'm wrong which i probs will)

so first, we have the prelude. david and calypso. while i'm sure david has his importance it's almost 1 am as i'm typing this so i'm going to focus on calypso. poor nymph is stuck in an island because of the will of gods for a reason i've forgotten. but here's the catch: while she cannot leave, others can come to her (good ol' odysseus for instance) until they leave her all alone again. and the cycle unfolds again and again. which brings us to a nice parallel with reader's situation at the beginnig. she, after all, is stuck on an island with no way out but stories. comes the dilf supreme toji aka an odysseus of sorts, until he leaves her. so she's alone again. calypso there illustrates a passive state of sorts. she cannot leave, or so she thinks: while she wants to, we don't see her try per se until sukuna comes in.

ah yes. sukuna’s arrival. chapter title: neptune’s hands. Neptune, god of the seas, all powerful, also known as Poseidon absolutely terrifying if provoked — which is something Odysseus did! well, man is smart enough not to do it to his face. but he did stab a cyclope, which happened to be neptune’s son. son who swore to a haughty Odysseus that he’d pay for it. in consequence: instead of going back to Ithaca without that much of trouble, Neptune goes: nope mate, and promptly sabotage his return (with a storm who leads his ship astray if my memory is correct). Neptune serves as a catalyst in here, to properly start the action. and it so happens to be sukuna’s role! he is, as well, the one who starts reader’s journey — well, odyssey in this case ;) — by making her this offer. plus, if we consider reader as being calypso, a nymph, and sukuna as being Neptune, a god, it shows their difference in power. sukuna is a fearsome curse, captain whose name is enough to strike fear in the cruellest pirate, who can and will kill reader should he get bored of her. reader is but a printer’s apprentice, so weak compared to him it hurts.

ah, yes. the narcissus pool aka siren gojo, aka me simping so hard for this man I might squirt with the mere mention of him. yes, siren gojo is that powerful, feel free to lure me in with them baby blues sweetie *blows him a kiss* hem. anyway. long story short, an oracle said: if narcissus sees his reflection, he’ll die. people prevent him from seeing himself. ofc man is so handsome it hurts and has women and men alike running after him, including a nymph named echo. he rejects her. hera is somehow involved in the mess and makes it so that he stumbles upon a river and sees himself. entranced by his beauty, he desperately tries to reach himself and stays near the river until he dies. this one is a bit trickier (especially considering I’m writing this as I go with no coherent preparation whatsoever but damn if I’m not having fun). but. *proceeds to read it again* *sighs in ‘why the hell ain’t siren!gojo real pls sir take me’* anyway. it’s never mentioned in narcissus’ myth, but I’m pretty sure he was tempted to look at himself. at least once, considering he could wonder why on earth all those people kept falling for his looks. (or he could be pretty dumb. let’s say he isn’t) so he’s tempted by his own reflection. just like reader’s tempted to follow segsy siren gojo. he doesn’t up until hera is involved and ends up seeing his reflection. he falls. not literally, but in love — with his own self. here it’s different (and the reason why i’m strugglingTM to gather coherent thoughts). gojo is the very embodiment of this temptation — so he acts as narcissus’ reflection here. he’s the one seducing reader, the one luring her until she falls in the waters, just like narcissus did. she didn’t die though, unlike him. (thank you sukuna. I guess. yes I would’ve given my life for gojo to consume me in both ways and??) now, this is very simp-tainted (sorry bout that ^^;) and the thing I’ve noticed is this: narcissus isn’t a character in the og odyssey. could it be bc to my absolute despair, gojo’s not as much of an important character as sukuna and toji? only you know!

(the hades, psyche analysis comes in tomorrow *looks @ time* *sees it's 1 AM* well, later on! have a lovely night/day!)

- the LRE (who's very happy tumblr allowed her to do paragraph breaks/to have a pirate history book recommandation! thanks about that one btw, it'll come in handy for a ff of mine (yeah it involves pirate gojo))

wait this is so precious n thoughtful oh my gosh 😭 thoughts n vibes under the cut :’)

first of all THANK U!!!??? ur making me blush out here omg my hEART 😭

as for ur first question, ur SO SWEET n IM LOSING IT bye i genuinely don’t know i just scream and throw a bunch of commas and metaphors everywhere and somehow things happen 💀 i read a lot (english major vibes) and it’s very helpful because i tend to imitate writers/phrases/books that inspire me while i'm figuring out how i want to write !!

secondly: how did i figure out the ending of the odyssey??

answer: i think i just stumbled across this one 😭 i was brainstorming w my bestie (@/suedebunn) n she originally suggested a different version of the ending that i was like “oh wait” and then i played with it for awhile until i arrived at the version i have now ! i want to tell u more about how i arrived from point A to point B and what the process was but i will withhold because i am not giving anything away >:)

onto ur TITLE ANALYSIS!! this is SPECTACULAR! ur pretty much on the nose for all of them god damn i don’t have much to add :’) i’ll give u some of my takes tho!!

david and calypso – ur absolutely on the nose for the calypso aspect; david’s just a passing nod to the pirates of the caribbean portrayal of davy jones and the doomed relationship between him and calypso (mirroring the doomed relationship between toji and reader since he leaves them)

neptune’s hands – yes! yeah! sexy! pirate sukuna is being compared to a sea god!! also a minor teaser but sukuna’s hands are important symbolically ;-)

narcissus pool – ur brain is so big here god damn 🤲 narcissus is more of a loose reference to the idea of pride/ temptation and also hollowness/mirages (the emptiness of a reflection versus the tangibility of the real thing) so it’s not immediately a reference to the odyssey itself or even the myth (i'm taking creative liberties bye homer) but probably the best entity to use when describing gojo – the dichotomy between pride/emptiness is a lot more apparent in part 5

gosh thank u sm for this!! excited to see what u have next!!!!!!

#THIS IS SO SWEET #THANK U??!?!!!?!>!#THANKS FOR NOTICING TITLE IMPORTANCE #UR A REAL ONE #OMG!!!#letters to adele #the odyssey!#LRE anon

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watchmegetobsessed · 5 years

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Aging - Shawn Mendes

okay so this one is based on things that are pretty closely related to my life, my thoughts and stuff, but I feel like some of you can relate to it as well. today is my birthday and this one day in the year always brings me some anxiety about just life in general and how things are going, if I’m doing things right and I put these thoughts into this one shot. I hope you’ll enjoy it!

masterlist

I’m slowly gaining back my consciousness as I feel small, butterfly-like kisses all over my face. I recognize the familiar lips faster than I could process anything around me and a smile creeps to my lips immediately.

“Good morning, Baby!” I hear his angelic voice coming from very close and a kiss follows his words right under my ear.

The silky sheets are soft against my skin, but the muscular arm that hugs me close to a hard body feels so much better. His bare chest touches the skin on my back where my tank top doesn’t cover and my hands find his on my stomach, lacing our fingers together.

“Five more mins,” I mumble into the pillow even though I know I won’t be able to fall asleep now that I’m awake.

“Anything for my birthday girl,” he murmurs against my shoulder and realization hits me hard.

It really is my birthday.

My body tenses for a moment before I manage to regain my peaceful state, but it’s too late. Shawn knows me too well.

“What’s wrong?” he asks nuzzling his nose into my neck.

“Nothing,” I sigh turning around in his hold to face him with a wide smile which is more like because I get to wake up next to him, not because I got a year older again.

“There is something, I felt your body tense up. I didn’t miss the date, did I?” Panic shoots through his face as he tries to put the picture together, but I just shake my head laughing.

“No, you got it right.”

“Then what is it? I want my girl to have the best day, we can’t start like this,” he tells me with a boyish smile and I can’t help but lift my head and press a kiss to his soft lips.

We lie there for a while as I’m tracing his jawline with my finger, hoping he would just ditch it, but he looks too persistent and I know he won’t stop.

“I just…” I let out a sigh turning my gaze at the ceiling. “I’m having a hard time acknowledging that I age.”

He gives me a confused look.

“Babe, I hope you realize that everyone ages.”

“Thanks, Captain Obvious,” I roll my eyes at him. His hand slides to my waist under the cover and his thumb is gently massaging my skin in a circle. “I know that, but it’s just giving me anxiety. Especially since I’ve been with you.”

Now I just made him even more confused with what I just said, he furrows his eyebrows at me in total confusion as he fails to understand what I’m trying to tell him.

“How do I come into the picture?” “You’re younger than me. I’m 23, you’re turning 21.” Now he rolls his eyes at me.

“Babe, it’s not like two decades, just a little more than two years.”

“Yeah, but…” I stop myself from finishing the sentence, because I don’t think I would be able to put it into the right words, but Shawn doesn’t let go of it.

“But what? Tell me!” He kisses my nose stroking a few wild locks of hair out of my face.

“One of the guys that I had a thing going on was younger than me and I got so many comments on it from people, they basically made me feel bad for having feelings for a younger person. Which I know is stupid, because age is just a number, but I always felt like I’m too immature because of this. Like I’m behind, does this make any sense?” I look at him worried.

I’ve been struggling with these feelings for a long time not. Aging in high school was cool. Turning sixteen, seventeen and then eighteen were fun, these were important and I was waiting for them to happen. But then it all started to turn around. When I turned twenty I realized I’m not a kid anymore and thinking about how much my life has changed lately makes me scared and worried if I’m doing things right.

Shawn pushes himself up on one arm looking down at me with a different expression than what I was expecting. The confusion is gone, now his hazel eyes are warm and kind as they meet mine.

“What else makes you believe you are behind?” he kindly asks and I let out another sigh.

“Lately everything,” I mumble. “College turned out to be harder than I thought, you are basically my first ever serious boyfriend and we’ve been together for eight months, which means I didn’t have a real relationship until I was 22. All my friends started dating at 16, it made me feel bad even back then. And I still don’t know where my life is really going.”

The uneasy feeling spreads in my body as I’m getting anxious about all these things again, but then Shawn leans down and captures my lips in a slow and sweet kiss that immediately makes my mind go blank and only think about him. When we part I’m met with his warm gaze once again.

“Baby, college is hard for a lot of people. Some of us just doesn’t go well with that system. But you finished it anyway, so be proud of yourself. You already went farther than me on that field,” he chuckles making me smile. “Me being your first serious boyfriend is making me incredibly happy, wanna know why?”

“Why?” I ask shyly.

“Because I know that you had flings here and there in the past, but neither of them ended up with you. Me being the first person to jump the scale is just an honor, because it tells me I’m doing it right. And I’m also happy I get to give you the first experiences in a relationship that you deserve.”

I’m basically melting from his words, I cup his face in my hands as I caress his cheeks trying to put all my love for him into my actions.

“And about the last part… Your life is going right no matter what you do, because you are the only one living it, you are the one forming it and whatever you do, that’s the best because no one can do it better than you.”

After his last word he leans down kissing me once again and I eagerly return it, wrapping my arms around his neck.

“How are you so wise at only 20?” I ask chuckling.

“I’m 30 in mind,” he says with a serious face, making me laugh.

“Then I guess our age gap has turned.”

“Oh no, you are still like a milf compared to me,” he scoffs jokingly, making me gasp and smack his chest playfully.

“I’m not a milf! Take that back!”

“Why? There is nothing wrong with being a hot milf, babe,” he teases me some more before I smack my hand on his mouth stopping him from saying anything else.

“You’re dancing on my nerves, Mendes,” I warn him giving him a threatening look, but it just makes him laugh as he peels my hand off of his mouth.

“Calm down, Baby. You know you are the freshest chick, a hot babe, my beautiful queen.”

I start laughing at his words, this is so not him, but it makes him the biggest dork.

“Oh my God, Shawn, just stop it,” I ask him pecking his lips shortly.

“Okay, okay,” he grins down at me. “But you have to know that one day, when you’ll be an actual milf after having our kids, you’ll still be my number one girl.”

“I hope you know if I turn into a milf, that will make you a dilf,” I warn him, but I don’t see the slightest sign of worry on his face, just a smug smile.

“I know. Can’t wait.” I laugh in disbelief as he leans down kissing me. “Okay, let’s get ready, I have the whole day planned out for you baby.”

He pushes the cover off of his body and I watch him stand up, wearing only his boxers. His muscular back is just giving me the naughtiest thoughts. As if he senses my greedy eyes on him, he stops and looks back at me over his shoulder.

“Are you checking me out?”

“Hell yes,” I grin at him satisfied, tugging an arm under my head. He licks his lips playfully and even winks at me before turning back.

“You have time until I take a shower, but I don’t want to find you asleep when I come back!” he warns me disappearing in the bathroom. The door closes behind him, but a moment later it opens and his head pops out. “Or you can join me in the shower,” he offers arching an eyebrow and I kick the covers off faster than ever as I launch at him gladly accepting the invitation.

#shawn mendes #shawn #mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fanfics #shawn mendes fanfictions #shawn mendes imagines #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn mendes oneshot #shawn mendes x reader #mendes army

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camillemontespan · 5 years

Text

the history of us [drake x camille] [part five: 20th july - i’m right here]

Part Four if you want to catch up.

Warnings: NSFW. Feelings. Angst.

@jovialyouthmusic @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @pug-bitch @sirbeepsalot @moonlightgem7 @rainbowsinthestorm @stopforamoment @notoriouscs @dcbbw @burnsoslow @emceesynonymroll @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @drakewalkerisreal @iplaydrake @gardeningourmet @symonde @katedrakeohd @cordoniasmost @sawyeroakleyscowboyhat @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @ccolz88-blog @nomadics-stuff

***********************************************************************************

20th July 2023

Madeleine went to the press and has done a 'tell all' interview about us. I knew she was a snake but I didn't realise she would be this awful. Is that naive? It was for the Cordonian Enquirer, which is pure trash.

Madeleine lied throughout. She said Drake is an irresponsible father who wasn't watching Lily when she broke her arm. Apparently he's too much of a brute to be a Duke which is ridiculous because he's a marshmallow.

Madeleine went on to say that in private, I spend all the tax payers money on decorating the manor and buying designer clothes. How childish can you get? I don't do anything of the sort!

Drake and I have been interviewing potential publicists to try and sort out this mess. We've both agreed that Madeleine was the bar the interviewees have to beat so I guess our standards are pretty low..

In all seriousness, we want a publicist who cares about us. Who can promote us in the way we want, to show us as the family we are. I don't want constant emails or texts telling me how I've managed to fuck something up.

I want someone to help us fix this sudden witch hunt. I know its affecting Drake because I went into his study last night to put back a book I borrowed and his computer screen was on. I didn't mean to look but the screen showed the close up photos of his face when he grabbed that photographer. I know Drake is fixating on it and I wish he wouldn't. He does really care what people think of him, despite his protests that he doesn't. Surely he should know that the only opinions that matter are mine and Lily's? And we adore him!

We're interviewing a woman called Samantha Jones today. I'm tempted to binge watch Sex and the City just to get into the spirit of interviewing. Do you think she likes cosmopolitans?

Drake stopped reading to chuckle. This was the first time reading Camille's diary that he had actually laughed.

He missed her. He missed her laughter and sense of humour. He missed her smile. Drake hadn't seen Camille since yesterday morning when she walked out.

The house felt empty without her and Lily. The TV should be on right now with a Disney film, Lily watching it in rapture. Camille should be chatting away on the phone to Hana or playing with Cheddar on the floor.

He wanted to phone her but after their talk yesterday, he didn't feel it would be welcome.

*************************************************

Camille opened the front door to greet their next interviewee. 'Hi there, you must be Samantha -'

'Jones, yes,' the tall blonde woman drawled. She was wearing a fuchsia coat and black stilettos. 'But don't compare me to that caricature of a publicist from that ridiculous TV show. I've heard enough jokes to last a lifetime.'

She shook Camille's hand strode into the foyer. Camille took her coat and hung it up, before leading her to her study where Drake was sat in one of the armchairs.

Drake stood up and shook her hand politely, gesturing for her to sit down. Camille sat on her side of the desk. Before she could speak, Samantha began to take documents out of her bag. She laid them on the table; Drake and Camille stared. The woman had made mindmaps with pictures of Drake and Camille in the web. She then started to talk.

'So it's quite a mess you've got yourselves into,' she said seriously. 'Lily in hospital, Drake grabbing a photographer and now your ex publicist is dragging your names through the mud. All in the space of about 2 weeks.'

Drake and Camille blinked. 'You don't pull any punches,' Drake commented.

Samantha shrugged. 'Why beat around the bush? Now I know what happened. Kids get into accidents all the time, they're a big responsibility which is one reason why I don't want them. Lily is four. Breaking her arm is normal.'

Camille grinned. 'Thank you -'

Samantha carried on. 'Drake, you have a restraining order set on the media which shows you care about your family and your privacy. It may not sit well with the media or the overbearing public but I understand your reasons. It does make a publicist’s job harder but I like a challenge. But grabbing a photographer wasn't a good idea but hey, it's done now. So, how do we fix it?'

Drake and Camille weren't sure if she wanted an answer. She didn't seem to mind their gawping faces. She just kept talking.

'If I was your publicist, I wouldn't have you grovel. You were doing your job as a husband and father. I can make your reputation and image sparkling after this. I can make you a DILF.'

Drake stared at her. 'DILF?'

'You are aware you are being interviewed right?' Camille asked. 'You've just told your potential boss that you can make him a DILF. Not that he isn't already but..'

Samantha let out a peal of laughter. 'Oh Camille! If you hire me, you'll get used to me. What I mean is I can show Cordonia the family man that Drake is. I can promote him in the best possible light which is as a father and husband. I can make the women of Cordonia fall in love with him.'

Camille gripped the table. 'But I don't want the women of Cordonia to fall in love with him. He's mine.'

'Exactly. He will be unattainable which is even better,' Samantha explained. 'No stuffy Duke crap, Drake. I'll show who you are in the way that you want.'

Drake couldn't resist a smile. 'I do like being a dad..' he said humbly.

‘You’re lucky Valtoria still like you,’ Samantha told them. ‘You were born commoners, which in a way is quite endearing. So, if you were to hire me, I would work on promoting you within Valtoria and work my way out. Duchy first, nation second. If you have the Valtorians in your corner, you will be fine.’

Drake cleared his throat. ‘What’s the first step?’

Samantha pointed to her mindmap. ‘I suggest throwing a garden party. A sort of welcome home to Valtoria for you. You invite the Valtorian people. It will be a family event. I want to show you both as a married couple with a kid; you may be Duke and Duchess but the thing about you both is you are no different from your duchy, other than a title. That’s the angle I want to focus on. So, I’m thinking bouncy castles, alpaca petting station, a DJ, face painting. Your duchy can have fun, talk to you in person, see you for the family you are. Those nasty rumours that Madeline is spreading about you will be dead by the time the party is over.’

Camille looked at Drake. ‘Drake, we can talk in private for a moment?’

******************************************************************************

27th July 2023

The garden party was going so well today. Samantha is fantastic; she may be in your face but she can do her job. She organised everything. The garden was set up with a gazibo, fairylights, a giant paddling pool for the kids, an alpaca petting station, face painting and a bouncy castle. The caterers served burgers, hot dogs, mac n cheese... American home comforts which was such a nice touch.

Drake was a little nervous this morning. I think he was feeling the pressure to look like the ultimate family man as per Samantha’s plan, but I kept telling him he is already the best family man there is. He’s so natural with Lily- I don’t understand where this insecurity comes from. Is it because his dad died and his mom left? I often think he feels he needs to make Lily’s childhood as happy as possible because of the things he missed out on growing up. I guess I’m the same; I lost my parents and I’ve always felt this gaping hole, like something was missing. Marrying Drake and having Lily is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. So if Drake overcompensates, I get his reasons. I do it too.

The party was going well until the game of Tag. I didn’t mean to get upset. I talked to him about it and I think we cleared the air. I’m still worried though.

Drake swallowed. He knew what was coming in this diary entry.

*****************************************************************************

The garden was ready for the party. The head maid, Magda, was sweeping the paving. Lily was beside her with a miniature brush, crouching down low to sweep away stones. She liked to be helpful.

Drake was in his study. He was nervous about today. He hoped he would make a good impression and turn around public opinion of him; how much lower could it get? Quickly, he downed a glass of whiskey and cleared his throat, adjusting his shirt.

He was dressed casual today. A red and green check shirt, blue faded jeans and boots. Taking a deep breath, he left his study and went out to the living room where Camille was standing at the mirror, applying her lip balm. She gave him a mega watt smile. ‘Hey handsome.’

She was wearing a red sundress and tan sandals. On her head was a white fedora hat and gold necklaces laced around her throat. Drake felt his jeans tighten at the sight of her.

He wished nobody was coming to this party today and he could just hang out with his wife.

‘You okay? You look nervous.’

‘I’m fine,’ he lied. Camille moved towards him and placed her hands on his shoulders.

‘You’re going to be great,’ she told him. ‘You’re already the best family man. You can do this in your sleep. Besides, today will be fun! We have American food! You can eat to your hearts content! No crappy finger food!’

Drake laughed and pulled her in for a kiss. ‘Oh, I plan to!’

She giggled and turned to go out to the garden. Drake cheekily slapped her ass and Camille turned to look at him over her shoulder with a glint in her eye. Drake went back into his study to find his sunglasses. He heard the doorbell ring; their first guests.

Drake clenched then unclenched his hands, shaking out his fists in a bid to calm down. He was a good dad. He was a good husband. He didn’t need to prove anything to these people.

He still located his hip flask from his desk drawer though. He poured some whiskey inside and tightened the screw, shoving it into his jean pocket.

Liquid courage.

*********************************************************************************

Maxwell seemed to be more excited by the alpacas than the actual children at the garden party.

‘Camille, she likes me!’ he called out, stroking one. Camille grinned and joined him to stroke the alpacas.

Olivia and Leo had rocked up an hour late. They weren’t the kind of people to attend family events. Why would they? They were together but marriage and babies were far from their minds.

‘Is there any alcohol in this joint?’ Olivia muttered, her eyes taking in with horror the fifty children running around the garden screaming and laughing. She then saw the alpacas. ‘Please tell me there’s alcohol.’

Leo stared at the children. ‘I only like one child and that’s Lily. This is too much.’

Liam joined her and Leo, laughing at the horror on both their faces. ‘You guys okay?’

‘Just wondering whether to drown ourselves in vodka or slit our wrists,’ Olivia said dryly.

Liam chuckled. ‘Sadly, there’s no alcohol at this event. I checked.’

The three of them wandered over to Drake, Camille and Maxwell. Hana was decorating Lily’s cast; she had pink and purple pens and was drawing flowers along the side, trying to make it look pretty. Lily was studying Hana’s drawing in wonder.

‘So, what’s the point of this?’ Olivia asked.

‘It’s to show that Drake is a family man and we’re happy to be home!’ Camille told her, a huge smile on her face. Olivia stepped back. ‘Camille, tone down the fake smile, please.’

Camille sighed. ‘Fine. It’s our new publicist’s idea. She wants us to be like a normal family and then the public will like us.’

‘Fucking Madeline..’ Maxwell hissed.

‘Max!’ the group cried.

‘Since when do you swear?’ Camille asked.

Maxwell sighed. ‘I’m so just annoyed at her. It’s not fair!’

‘It will blow over,’ Liam told them. ‘I promise. I’m sorry I foisted her on you. It was a bad match.’

Hana finished her drawing. Lily admired her handiwork. She then looked up at Olivia. ‘Aunt Olivia, can you sign my arm?’

Olivia took one of Hana’s pen. ‘Sure thing, kiddo.’

Lily held out her hand, stopping her. ‘But don’t touch Hana’s flowers. She made my arm pretty.’

Hana blushed. ‘It was nothing..’ she mumbled, pushing a lock of her hair behind her ear. Camille wrapped her arm around Hana’s shoulders, squeezing her. Hana was always so down on herself, for no reason.

Olivia signed the cast, making Lily jump up and down now she had acquired another signature.

‘Can we play Tag?’ she asked the adults.

‘Lily, we have alpacas here and you want to play Tag?’ Drake asked. Lily nodded, not understanding why her dad was confused. What was confusing about that?

‘You, me, mommy, Uncle Maxwell, Leo and Olivia!’ she hollered.

Olivia let out a dry laugh. ‘Good joke, babe. I don’t play Tag. I’m going to sit down and have some... lemonade.’ She said the word with such disgust.

She wandered off. Leo shrugged. ‘I’m gonna go join her. But hey, come see me later?’ he said, ruffling Lily’s hair.

Maxwell cleared his throat. ‘Right. Lily, you’re It!’

Lily raced after Maxwell, Drake and Camille. The adults were deliberately slow so she could catch them.

Drake slowed down for Lily, seeing she was approaching. ‘You’ll never get me!’ he shouted. Maxwell and Camille were beside him, thinking if they all ran slowly together, she could catch all three. Lily caught up and tugged on Drake’s egs.

The hip flask fell out of his pocket.

It landed on the grass. Lily picked it up and studied it for a moment, working out what it was, before holding it up to him. ‘Daddy, you dropped your juice carton!’

The look on Camille’s face was of pure shock. Drake never had his hip flask on him when he was with Lily. He usually reserved it for when they attended balls together as a couple and he had to endure the nobles.

This was a family event.

Lily had held his hip flask that was full of whiskey.

Drake hastily took the hip flask and shoved it in his pocket. He could feel Camille’s eyes staring at him in disbelief.

Maxwell ran a hand through his hair awkwardly. ‘Hey, Lily, let’s go see Leo!’ he suggested loudly. Lily took his hand and they skipped towards Leo, who stood up and shouted, ‘Look, I’m Leo the Lion! I’m gonna get you!’ He proceeded to chase after Lily and Maxwell.

While the families around them were laughing, eating food and talking, Drake and Camille stared at each other. It was like nobody else was there. Everyone had faded into nothing and all Camille could see was her husband looking like he wanted the ground to swallow him up. He looked ashamed.

‘Inside,’ she whispered. ‘Now.’

****************************************************************************

‘Why are you drinking at this?’ Camille asked after she shut the door to their bedroom. Drake sighed. ‘I don’t know. It was a dumb idea.’

‘Damn right it’s a dumb idea!’ Camille burst out. ‘Drake, this is a family event. There’s no alcohol being served because this is meant to be a party for the kids.’

‘Look, I’m sorry-’ Drake tried to say. But she cut over him.

‘Lily picked up your hip flask. She’s only four. I don’t want her finding that sort of shit.’

‘I won’t carry it with me again, okay?’ Drake said, his jaw set. ‘I just won’t. I’m sorry.’

Camille bit her lip. ‘Is there something you want to tell me? Have you been drinking more than usual?’

Drake thought back to the double measures.

‘Not any more than usual,’ he said. ‘Just today. I felt nervous.’

‘I told you that you’re already the best family man,’ she said. ‘I think you’re brilliant. So does Lily. Our opinions are all that matter. I know we’re trying to promote ourselves better but that is just because of our jobs. In reality, I only want you to care about what your family thinks. We will never judge you, Drake.’

Drake looked down at the floor. He felt like such an asshole.

‘I know you wouldn’t. I just needed liquid courage.’

Camille stepped forward and kissed him softly. ‘If you feel nervous or anxious, anything at all, just talk to me. Please. I’m the same, I get nervous about nobles and the public all the time! We’ve just got to be honest with each other. If it gets too much, we have to be able to count on each other here. Communicate openly. We have to be able to do that for Lily.’

Drake nodded and took her hands. ‘I didn’t mean to fuck up. It was a stupid idea.’

He threw the hip flask in the waste basket.

Camille smiled. ‘Let’s go back outside. Socialise. We can do it together.’

**************************************************************************************

Drake closed the diary. Camille had been shocked when she saw the hip flask. But why had he lied about drinking more than usual? If he had just been honest..

The front door lock began to turn. Drake jumped up from the sofa, hoping it was Camille.

It was.

He felt like he hadn’t seen her in years, even though it had only been yesterday. She jumped when she saw him standing in the hallway, staring at her.

‘You’re home,’ he said. ‘You’re finally home-’

‘I’m just picking up some of my notes for my next meeting with the girls,’ she told him. ‘I’ll only be a minute.’

She began to stride to where her office was. Drake followed her. She was wearing a white trench coat, purple bodycon dress and nude heels. She was business chic today; she always dressed up for her meetings.

‘I’ve been reading your diary,’ he told her. ‘I didn’t realise you wrote in it so much. It’s amazing.’

‘Good. I’m glad you’re reading it,’ she replied, rummaging through her desk drawers. She found a folder and placed it in her bag. ‘Okay, I’m going.’

Drake caught her by the arm. ‘Camille, please. Talk to me.’

‘I told you we can talk when you’ve gone through the box-’

‘You keep saying that but you won’t tell me why!’ he protested. ‘You’re being secretive.’

‘Ha!’ she laughed bitterly. ‘Pot kettle.’

A wounded expression passed over Drake’s face. He looked down at the floor, trying to hide it, but Camille had spotted it. She gently placed the folder down on the desk.

‘Drake..’ she whispered.

He kept his eyes on the floor, trying to hold back tears. He was not going to cry again. His shoulders shook as he kept the tears in, swallowing sobs.

‘Drake..’ Camille whispered again. She reached out and placed her hands on either side of his face. She gently brought his face up to look at her. Drake’s face was wet. Camille rubbed his face softly with her hands. ‘Don’t cry,’ she said, her voice wavering. ‘Please don’t cry.’

‘I’m not crying,’ Drake replied, his voice thick.

‘You are.’

‘Just sad, that’s all. I miss you.’

There was a silence. Camille wrung her hands together before murmuring, ‘I miss you too. I miss the real Drake Walker.’

‘I’m right here,’ he told her, his hands shaking. ‘I promise, I’m right here.’

They were a mere inch apart now. Drake could smell her coconut hair and Chanel perfume. His eyes roamed her face, taking in her brown eyes with gold flecks. He settled on her lips, like rosebuds. Before he could stop himself, he pulled her towards him and their lips met.

Camille sank into him. He could taste her watermelon lipbalm. Her hands went up around his neck, pulling him in closer. Drake groaned and lifted her onto the desk, his hands reaching down to pull up the hem of her dress. Camille unbuckled his belt, his jeans falling to the floor. She pulled down his boxers, releasing his erection.

As their tongues twisted and swirled like a vortex, Drake positioned himself at her entrance. She was ready for him. He was ready for her.

Camille let out a cry as he entered her. He wasted no time in driving into her deep, wanting to fill all of her. She could feel every inch of him and she clenched his arms, digging her fingernails in as she braced herself for each hit and impact.

Drake felt desperate. He needed her. He wanted her. He needed her. He needed her back in his life. He needed her back like this. He needed to know she loved him and that they were okay. That this could be salvaged. He needed to salvage this.

‘No, Drake!’

She shoved him away. Drake stared at her as she jumped down from the desk and pulled her dress back down. Hot tears filled her eyes.

‘We can’t just fuck like this and pretend everything is okay!’ she shouted, the tears falling down her cheeks now. ‘This is making it too hard! I shouldn’t have come here, I should have just gone to my meeting without the fucking folder. But I see you looking upset and you say the real Drake is back and oh God, I wish that was true. I really want him back. But I can’t fuck you and pretend we are okay. I can’t lie to myself.’

Drake exhaled shakily. ‘I want to fix us.’

‘If you finish the diary, go through the box, we can talk,’ she told him. ‘That’s all I ask of you, Drake.’

‘I want to see Lily,’ he begged. ‘Please. Let me see my daughter.’

‘No, Drake.’

‘Why not?’ he burst out. ‘I miss her. She must miss me! She’s my girl.’

Camille closed her eyes. Her lips were shut tightly. Drake kept begging, not caring how desperate he looked.

‘I just want to see her, even for a minute, to see if she’s okay-’

‘She doesn’t want to see you, Drake!’

Drake stepped back as if he had been shot. Camille looked away from his horrified face, clenching her jaw. She couldn’t look at him. Holding her folder to her chest, she moved past him and opened the study door, leaving him reeling.

#drake walker #drake walker x mc #trr fanfic #the royal romance

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