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bengtsenrarrosendal · 2 years

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Would You Like To Decorate Your Home?

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#thi công nội thất chung cư morehome #thi công nội thất hà nội

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alycosworld · 3 years

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guess who🤡 heyhey 💕 here. I’m pretty sure by this 2nd request u can tell that I’m a very emotional person🧍🏻‍♀️ and that I’m a person that seeks alot of comfort from fictional characters because i dont have a life and good friends.

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putting a divider here so u dont have to read everything and can look out for keywords!

purple—> person

pink—>genre

green—>subject

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I’m not sure if u r comfy writing kazuha so if yr not I’m sorry u can ignore this! i just want a fluff comfort for reader who got like REALLY scolded for getting bad grades for exams because u have no idea how angsty I’m feeling rn:( my parents just literally like scolded me like there was no tmr istg- so i just need really fluff comfort. so a kazuha x NB(non bibary)!reader

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Anyways again tysm u have no idea how grateful i am if you accept my request!!!<3 get lots of rest and drink water. only do this if you want to!

byebye<3

-💕

Kazuha's Wise and Whimsical Words

Kaedehara Kazuha X Reader

A/N: aaaa 💕anon ily!! being emotional is completely fine and I would be honoured to become of your good friends!! I will be a part of your life, private message me if you're ever feeling down! I just want my readers happy because they make me happy aaaaaa 🥺

with that being said, i love this request! My parents were so hard on me when it came to exams, but as soon as I broke away from their expectations, I started to appreciate my grades more. I'll leave the real comforting words for Kazuha to say but NO ONE SHOULD EVER be disappointed in yourself if you tried your best. Thank you for your support and the request, I hope the story makes you feel better. Enjoy!

ps: I took into account the fact that not everyone has a mother and a father and not everyone has two parents at all, so only one parent is mentioned here and they are left gender neutral so it's easier to picture yourself in the story.

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"(Y/N). This is not at all what I expected. What happened to you?" Your parent asked sternly.

"Well, I--"

"I don't want to hear any excuses. Your predicted grades were much higher than this!" They said, raising their voice.

"I'm sorry, I--"

"Sorry is not going to improve your results! Do you really think that now is a good time to be slacking off? You have one more exam period before university. I don't care if you pass those exams, I want you to excel. And if you don't, you are not attending Sumeru Academia, whether they accept you or not. I am not paying for you to study overseas, only for you to get mediocre grades." They said, making you even more anxious than before the exam.

"But I got above the average!"

"By two percent! And the average was low." Your parent said, narrowing their eyes slightly and upsetting you with their belittling gaze.

"Realistically--"

"Realistically? Realistically?! If you want to study realistically, you should find someone else to pay for your education. When you want to study successfully, you can come back." They slammed the stack of sheets that displayed your results on the table with a loud bang before folding their arms as you grabbed a jacket and stormed out of the house, tears running down your face.

You walked for a while in the night, before eventually finding yourself in an area you were less familiar with. After recognising it to be somewhere near your boyfriend's current residence off Beidou's ship, you made a beeline for his place, knocking on the door and hoping, praying he would be alone inside.

The door soon opened and Kazuha stood there, initially with a smile on his face but it soon dropped when he saw your expression.

"(Y/N)? What happened?" He asked.

"C-can I come inside?" You sniffled.

"Of course, Love. Come in." He said, ushering you into his quaint little place. You stood by the door that closed behind you before Kazuha pushed the coat you had lazily draped over your shoulder onto the floor and enveloped you in his arms.

You broke down in his embrace. You had done better than most of your fellow students, and frankly, you were kind of proud of your result. But it was foolish of you to think that your parent would accept anything but perfection. They said it was all for you, but you were doubting it. Did you even want to go to Sumeru Academia? You had had your heart set on it since you were a child, but maybe that was only because your folks always envisioned you going there.

"Why are you crying, my love?" Kazuha asked, sitting you down near the fire to warm you up and standing up to get you a blanket and a hot cup of tea.

"I'm not good enough." You mumbled. If it was anyone else, they wouldn't have heard you. But your boyfriend could listen to the wind "talk" - he was very attuned to quiet and subtle noises.

"Nonsense." He smiled, bringing you the blanket as you listened to the water boil in the background.

"You're more than good enough. Everyone who knows you adores you - no one more than me, of course." Kazuha chuckled, eventually setting down two cups of tea and sitting in front of you on the floor.

"Public opinion won't improve my grades." You said, now more stoic than upset. You had almost become numb and desensitised to degrading comments that after you cried a little and calmed down, you'd be straight-faced and almost emotionless. It didn't feel good, but it was certainly better than feeling bad.

"So this is about school." Kazuha nodded, gesturing for you to continue explaining why had happened.

"They keep talking about my grades. They said I shouldn't be slacking and that I'm not going to get to Sumeru Academia and that they want me to do better...maybe I'm interpreting it wrong. Maybe they're trying to encourage me?" You wondered aloud, thinking that somehow you were the problem. As soon as you said "they", Kazuha knew who you are referring to and sighed.

"Encouragement and doubt are two very different things. Unrealistic expectations, detrimental practices, emotionally, mentally or physically taxing improvement - none of that is going to help you. In fact, it'll make you feel worse. When you really think about what you have to do to achieve perfection, you'll only realise how unattainable it is. You'll fall into a perpetual spiral of intellectual destruction." Kazuha said.

"Then how the hell am I gonna get the best results?" You asked worriedly.

"You won't. No one will ever get the best results because more people and more previously unforeseen factors will come into play. What you can achieve is your best results. Your grades are a product of you, not the other way around. They are no measure of your worth, they cannot define you, and they do not have to be a part of you. If you don't ace one subject, you don't have to hang on to that or turn it into some strange part of you. You can't cling to it, it's impossible to cling to a piece of the past forever. That's not to say you don't learn from it, but it doesn't need to become some villainous trait - in the end, it is only a grade." Kazuha shield at you. His words warmed your heart more than the fire or tea, and they even seemed to dry your tears and allow you to mirror his expression.

"And at the very least, you can hold your head high knowing that you had the strength to participate in an exam when not everyone does. You went in, sat through it, attempted the questions and walked out. Not everyone has the courage to stay; some don't even have the courage to start. That goes for any endeavour you face." Kazuha said, before inching closer to you.

"Feeling any better?" He asked. You nodded instantly. Of course, Kazuha's wise and whimsical words had bettered your mood, it was Kazuha for Archon's sake.

"Good. Maybe we could go for an evening stroll? I'll treat you to dinner if you haven't eaten." He offered.

"Can...can we just stay like this for a little longer? I think being alone with you is nicer." You smiled.

"Of course, Angel. Anything you want."

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this was less physical fluff than I intended, but I think I do comfort with direct words and dialogue best, so I hope this is okay. honestly, everything kasha said is what I would've wished to hear when I was in this situation. I'll probably post a rant about my own exam experiences because this request got all my past feelings to resurface.

thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!

#kazuha #genshin #kaedehara kazuha #kazuha kaedehara #genshin impact #genshin kazuha #genshin x reader #genshin x y/n #genshin x you #kasha fluff #fluff comfort #comfort #kazuha comfort #non-binary reader #kazuha x reader #kazuha x you #kazuha x y/n

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maozijun · 3 years

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Mao Zijun Xing Fan Interview

Removing the “adonis of period-costume dramas” label, and returning to a Republican era drama

Before Killer and Healer (or KillHeal hence), Mao Zijun had not filmed a republican drama in a long time. For almost the past five years, the audience’s impression of him has been his costume dramas, such as Qin Wuyan from The Legend of Chusen, An Qinxu from The Glory of Tang Dynasty, Yin Yiren from The Legend of Haolan, and so on and so forth. Because most of his dramas are costume dramas, as it happens, offers that come to him are the costume dramas.

Thus, when an offer for KillHeal, a TV drama about “drug crackdown” set in Republican China, appeared before Mao Zijun, he accepted it without a second thought. “At the time, I felt that I didn’t want to keep shooting costume dramas.”

If “costume drama” is a tag the audience associates with Mao Zijun’s role and acting, we can also claim that “zen,” “placid,” and “easy-going” are impressions he leaves on most people. Other than for the purpose of promoting the broadcasts of his new dramas, he seldom appears in public. If he “wasn’t at home, [he’d] be hanging out, or watching movies.” To the public, it’s as if he’s been “spirited away.” As a regular whose name ranks on the “skilled actor without due fame” chart, regardless how many times he’s been asked about the matter, his response has always been “I really haven’t paid it much attention.” His response may seem like a pleasantry, but he means it from the bottom of his heart.

Mao Zijun knows that ever since he became an actor, his career has been successful for the most part without any major setbacks, and he’s met many great people along the way. From his first TV drama Beauty's Rival in Palace when he cooperated with Lin Xinru, he stumbled into the entertainment industry and was swept along despite his inexperience and unworldliness. Including Director Yu Zheng who was willing to give him the male lead roles for The Legend of Haolan and The Matriarch. “So I thought I’ve had good luck. I’ve met people who appreciated me and were willing to give me opportunities. I’m very grateful.”

Mao Zijun’s “zen” attitude, however, doesn’t extend to everything he does. When there’s a role he really wants, his “wolf-like ambition” is brought out. When it comes choosing projects, he doesn’t compromise either. “I think everyone has the desire to strive for things they don't have; regardless of where you are in life, you wish to become better, you wish that you can climb higher. It’s a never-ending climb.”

Regardless of whether he’s gained fame and popularity, or remains a fine wine waiting to be discovered, “becoming better” is a creed he lives by and acts upon.

- 01 - Shooting KillHeal was an effortless process

What made Mao Zijun “return” to KillHeal after a long separation from republican dramas was its story and Jiang Yuelou’s personality. Jiang Yuelou is a morally grey character: a police officer and Chief of the Inspection Department. He's made law enforcement and drug crackdown his lifelong war, and it’s an undertaking he’s willing to sacrifice his life for. Although a patient with manic depression (known as bipolar disorder in modern clinical terms)--which results in his irritable, violent, and stubborn personality and tendency to be a lone wolf--he’s upright at his core, and there’s a gentle side to him deep down.

When Mao Zijun saw the script, he knew that this character had a lot of potential and creative room to work with. Precisely because of the great amount of creative room, on top of Jiang Yuelou’s vivid and distinct personality, filming for KillHeal was a relatively easy-going process for Mao Zijun despite the character’s lifelong angst and suffering. The character was rich and human per se, “so there was no need to brood over some things,” and it could be rather realistically portrayed. By the same token, the more one could ease himself into character, the better the final results.

Many actors determine the difficulty of portraying a character by criterion of the character’s degree of complexity, or their own compatibility with the character. In this respect, Mao Zijun is somewhat different: his criterion is whether the character can spontaneously come to life in the mind’s eye. “When you’ve read the entire script and discover that the character is very vivid and lifelike--his motives, intentions, behaviour and course of actions, all of which constitutes his rich psychological wiring--you will be able to portray him with relative ease, and not based on whether he’s similar to you. “Compatibility is only one aspect.”

Even if you were to act a character completely different from yourself, “you can imagine yourself in his shoes--what he would say or do” because he’s such a vivid character. “You can effectively get into character.”

In crafting Jiang Yuelou, Mao Zijun largely relies on following the script, his character changing with the progression of the plot; as a result, Jiang Yuelou’s uncontrollable violence, uncompromising ways, and other destructive habits doesn’t extend beyond the character and affect the actor himself. Unlike other actors whose characters took a mental and physical toll on them, Mao Zijun isn’t a purely immersive actor.

“Filming for a movie may require more personal feelings and emotions, but for a TV series, I think it’s half-and-half. Except for particular emotional scenes, that is.” In KillHeal, for example, the emotion expressed through Jiang Yuelou’s eyes when he’s solving cases, or reaction to receiving news, are all achieved through acting techniques. But for scenes where he’s facing the death of his subordinates, his mother, his adoptive father, his brother, and other loved ones, his reactions and expressions of pain must be nuanced and highly faceted. Even for crying scenes, he must cry in widely differing ways. For these scenes, Mao Zijun must lend his own emotional faculties to the character.

However, he does not believe tears are the only way to express his character’s emotions. When his younger and less inexperienced co-star, Ian Yi, consults him about his worries of being unable to shed tears, Mao Zijun tells him, “Why must you shed tears? Tears do not mean everything. The more dramatic and emotionally heavy a scene is, the more you must relax yourself.”

Filming to Mao Zijun is in fact a creative process where he imagines the character, then completes him. Hence, for every character he has acted, Mao Zijun would forget about the character. In his next drama, he would similarly imagine the character, understand his character, and the cycle continues.

So far, he believes there has yet to be a character that requires a lot from him mentally and psychologically, or even one that took him a long time getting out of. But, he hopes he will encounter such a character; a character that can let him experience more, feel more, and empathize with more.

KillHeal was a project Mao Zijun worked on two years ago. Two years ago, he did everything he could to bring Jiang Yuelou into fruition. Looking back now, there are details that could be further refined or supplemented, but the current KillHeal is still to his satisfaction, from his performance and methods of expression, to the overall product that is his character. “As to whether it has met my expectations… Because the broadcast of KillHeal had been held off for so long, I was worried about if the drama would go out of date when it finally came out. But there haven't been such problems so there’s nothing else I’m unsatisfied with.”

- 02 - I’ve become increasingly sentimental

While Mao Zijun may not be a purely immersive actor, he is not a wholly rationalistic one either. It’s in his analysis of his characters and response after completing a character that is rational. This rationality is present in his logic, or his healing process after getting out of character, but not acting itself.

Rationality is perhaps a result of Mao Zijun’s own experiences and personality. He had no formal training in acting. He had good grades in high school, perhaps due to parental pressure and his own belief that good grades made life somewhat easier. After graduating from high school, Mao Zijun successfully got into Zhejiang University of Finance and Economics and majored in Auditing.

“Why had I chosen auditing? At that time, I thought auditing had good prospects. It wasn’t a complicated job either--I took math and the sciences in high school, so auditing isn’t hard.” After getting into university, his parents weren’t as strict as they were in high school, so he had the opportunity to “set himself free” and explore new options. Just like that, he started taking jobs for advertisements, and then acting.

“Beauty's Rival in Palace was especially looking for people to fill in roles at the time. Liu Che was an important character despite not having a lot of scenes, and they thought my appearance fit the role.” Mao Zijun laughed lightly, “Also because of my looks that I started acting.”

The profession of acting provided him with many new experiences, because every character was new and unlike the mechanical motions he had to go through everyday. “This is also the reason why I will persist on this path.”

As someone who changed career paths from the sciences to acting, Mao Zijun has never second-guessed his decisions. He thought of himself as lucky, and his path a smooth one. Many of his friends around him have changed their career paths because of setbacks or other reasons, but he hasn’t. His parents have given him understanding and support. “My parents would express their worries, but they would not try and make a decision for me. Every big decision I've made is my own choice.”

Mao Zijun is a Capricorn: steadiness and rationality are a big part of it. But because he’s been an actor for so long, he’s in fact becoming more and more sentimental. When he first started out in the industry, he would care about others’ views and opinions about him. But with time, they gradually ceased to bother him. This is one of the very few things that have changed about him since his debut.

As an actor with no formal training, but has still received praise and acknowledgement for his acting skills, he does not attribute it to natural talent. Instead, he attributes it to his own capacity for self-excavation. “I think as an actor, you are mining yourself (your talents and skills). For example, if you meet other good actors, good characters, you will be driven to tap into your natural talents. For many actors, rather saying they don’t have talent, they simply haven’t been given the chance to discover their potential.”

In Mao Zijun’s opinion, every actor has talent, it is only a matter of chance and whether they can encounter a great character.

- 03 - Try and lose the “let it be” attitude

Mao Zijun has been in the industry for more than ten years. Ten years’ time is enough to change the state of the entertainment industry and the actors in it. As a post-85 liner interacting with post-90s and -95s actors, he’s picked up a hobby of collecting tarot cards, and has been playing video games like Super Mario and Contra that came with the gaming console gifted to him by his fans.

Newcomers in the industry would abide to the instructions of senior artists and the director. If they met difficulties or discomfort in the process of the shoot, they could only learn to deal with it themselves. But the market has changed, with new genres, subject matters, and the actors, too, are young. These young actors can willfully express themselves and vent, unlike the older generation of actors who learned to put up with things.

These changes cannot be predicted. Just like how it happened in a few years’ time, when an actor may no longer have a large audience base like before--an audience who sits in front of the TV just to catch the airtime of a TV series. Mao Zijun, too, is no longer the unworldly and inexperienced newcomer he was.

If he had to draw a demarcation, he says it’s the year 2016. “Before 2016, although I was an actor by profession and had thought I took my job seriously, looking back now, I’d just been in a status quo of “passing time.” Life had been smooth for Mao Zijun: high school, university, getting a job. He hasn’t met any real obstacles. The efforts and hard work he thought he had been putting into his work were tantamount to what he could easily accomplish in his best and most favourable circumstances.

He strongly agrees with the view that actors need to experience pain and setbacks. But he thinks that’s only a part of it. An actor can experience some things, but he is not able to experience everything. To him, some experiences can be gained through reading novels. “The stories, including the thoughts and behaviours of characters, are enriching and detailed. If you’re not able to personally experience some things, you can experience them via other methods.”

Mao Zijun is a very carefree person. He takes on drama offers when he feels like it, and rejects it when he doesn’t. He’s content with hiding himself away from the public eye to take time off for himself. But now, even he doubts whether the “let himself be” attitude is appropriate. “I noticed that there was a gap, like the period of time after The Legend of Haolan finished airing to the airing of KillHeal now. During these two years, you had no other dramas on-air. Your fans want to see your new projects and content, but you couldn’t give them anything, yet they would still give you a lot of support. It would make you question, shouldn’t I be filming more projects for them?”

After questioning himself, Mao Zijun started taking on more projects. Even during the pandemic, he filmed a movie (no news yet), acted as a cameo in The Journey of Flower as the character Sha Qianmo, and filmed for The Matriarch. “Since my fans want to see me so badly, I’ll just have to act in more projects, I thought.”

In The Matriarch, he plays the role of Wei Liang’gong, a very kind, “moonlight” (unattainable) character--a character with all the wonderful traits and virtues of a person--much like the male version of Empress Fuca Rongyin from Story of Yanxi Palace (2018). “This costume drama depicts a very realistic portrayal of life during the period. Acting in this drama was more of a process of experiencing and feeling, using an everyday-life way of performing was quite nice.”

Mao Zijun doesn’t really care whether he’s famous or popular. Even to this day, other actors from the casts he’s worked with would offer him new projects. Speaking from this point, he thinks he’s lucky enough as it is. To him, a TV drama actor, a bit of fame and a lot of fame doesn’t hold much of a difference. In the long term, “fame” is only a matter of degree. “Unless you win an award--a prestigious film award, whether it be movies or TV films--how much fame is but a matter of quality.” What he must do now, and spare no effort, is to give himself more opportunities.

In retrospect, Mao Zijun has gotten the roles he wanted, and there’s really no regrets. What he desires perhaps lies in the future. Fortunately, there’s just enough time.

Writer: 77

WeChat ID: LJLX2013

Original Post

#mao zijun #interviews #articles #xing fan #星番

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centeris2 · 3 years

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Shillings and Halloween

(repost so it shows up in the tags) Thanks to Jade @pandoriasbox for documenting dailys in detail and helping with numbers, and thanks to Abbie Starwatcher for the Starstable Database.

Disclaimer: this is not about star coins or star coin only items like the horse, this is solely about shilling costs of event items available in the shop. When I say ‘event items’ I am referring to new items that can be purchased with shillings.

TL;DR - This year’s Halloween was great, but the shillings cost for the outfits was too much and should match up better to what can realistically be earned during an event’s duration.

So the Positive Things: Halloween was excellent this year, chef kisses all around. I would have liked a slightly higher spawn rate for the falling items and Galloper Thompson, but overall? The event was wonderful, I hope it comes back next year so I can see what I missed. I could have a whole post about the things I liked about it, but that’s not what this is.

And now to the title and point: The Shillings.

Events are designed to get people online every day. This is achieved by giving people attainable rewards to work for. You don’t have to spend hours grinding golden pumpkins and waiting for soul shard tornados; if you get on for a bit every day and do the 5 quick golden pumpkins and the soul shard races, you will be able to get the trade in items within the event time. But the new sets in the shop this Halloween were well outside the realm of “realistically attainable”. It was not possible to earn enough shillings by doing the event activities, races, chores, and dailys every day, something that takes 4 or more hours. Doing every daily for a week will net you 27,904 shillings, meaning you can earn 55,808 shillings during the two week event, but the items in the shop were 147,000 shillings. You need over 5 weeks of getting on for 3 - 5 hours every day to get enough shillings to buy the sets. If a game is going to add new event items for sale with the in-game currency, it needs to be something a player could feasibly get in that event time frame. That just makes sense to me, I don’t know how else to say that other than look at the numbers. If it takes you 5 and a half weeks of constant work to get the items in an event that only lasts two weeks then it should be changed. Here are a few options:

The event lasts longer (still expects a player to dedicate possibly hundreds of hours on an event for a month or more, not realistic, especially for kids in school and people with jobs)

Lower item prices

Release fewer items, limit it to only one set instead of two

Make shillings easier to reliably obtain (no chance or luck involved)

Make it easier to save up money so you can save up for events, most likely by removing or increasing the shilling cap. (Nothing killed me more than getting that “you’ve hit shilling limit!” and losing shillings to the void for no good reason, and planning out my dailys to make sure I hit the 10k cap exactly so I wouldn’t waste a single shilling trying to get those 10k items.)

I’m not saying I want it to be easy or asking for free stuff, I want it to be possible without driving yourself crazy. People will work for things unless it’s something practically impossible to earn, you just have to give them the opportunity.

[Main point over, beyond this is personal experience, numbers, and comparing to past events, so you can stop here if you don’t care about the details! I’ll be sending this to SSO, but if you agree or have your own thoughts, be sure to send them to SSO! The more feedback they get, the more likely they are to change things.]

I say “practically” because I actually did it. I sold saved up items (dig rewards, items from previous events, etc), woke up at 5:30am for the first champ and stayed online until the last champ at 11pm, and did everything I could to get shillings. If I hadn’t been as lucky in champs or with high score rewards I would not have been able to do it. You shouldn’t have to spend 10 - 18 hours a day for almost two weeks getting lucky in order to get enough in-game currency to buy the event items. What I did was an outlier and not something SSO should expect players to do. I spent easily over 150 hours in game over the span of two weeks, took part in over 120 champs, got lucky with 8 - 12 daily high scores a day, and was graced by the universe with some weekly high scores and a monthly high score. I am not a good example of what the average sso player is like.

Now for Numbers! Weekly shilling earnings from dailys = 27,904 (average 3,986 a day)

Halloween: 147,000 shillings total for the new sets 1 new clothing set = 44,000 shillings 1 new tack set without accessories = 26,000 shillings 1 new tack set with leg wraps and saddlebag = 29,500 1 full matching clothing and tack set = 73,500

Additional ways of earning (and ‘storing’) shillings: - Championships can earn you 0 to 8,500 shillings in a day (0 if you don’t enter or fail every champ you enter, 8,500 if you win first in all 17 champs and sell the ribbons). That’s 0 to 59,500 shillings a week. Not viable for busy servers or lower level players. - Daily high scores pay 100 shillings per race, weekly high scores 500, and monthly 1500. I’m not about to count how many high score races there are but it can make a lot. Not reliable for lower level players or busy servers. - Archaeology will get you shillings so long as you dig something, but that can be as little as 2 shillings (1 for the dig, 1 selling the item). In Epona you can find 4 gold digs a day. The trade in value has a huge range, between like 355 and 2,000 shillings. You can dig in Epona and Dino all day, but after the first or second pass the dig spawns drop in value and unless you are trying to get that last couple hundred shillings it probably won’t be worth your time (especially if you’ve already spent hours doing dailys). Not an option for people who haven’t finished archaeology (Epona is far superior to Dino), but very handy you have it.

How does Halloween compare to other events? Things have gradually been getting more expensive, but usually there is one set, or a month or more to get it (Winter Village), or it returns without new items (Cloud Kingdom. Came twice in two months as well). What makes this Halloween different is the sheer amount vs the time frame. For more math, the entire Caramel and Cream set, including the accessory leg wraps and saddle bags, is 91,777 shillings. It’s a lot, but you can make that much in a little over 3 weeks, well within the time frame of the event. Personally I think it should be a little lower, the saddle bag being 9,999 shillings seems like way too much for a statless item (and not even a new model).

For those curious - Star Coins The Halloween event had plenty of star coin only items that people could buy, and there are always people who will spend the star coins for the new outfit rather than work for it. SSO provided plenty of opportunities for people to spend star coins. They didn’t need to include the clothes and tack in the shop in the “for whales only” category. New Horse - 950 star coins New Pet - 350 star coins Each new tack set was 260 star coins (295 including matching leg wraps and saddle bag) Will-o’-whiskers clothes: 440 Crimson Count clothes: 520 Full Will-o’-whiskers clothes+tack: 735 star coins Full Crimson Count clothes+tack: 815 New Masks were 25 star coins per mask And then all the previous items, like the previous horses, pets, outfits, and powders.

If you read all the way wow. I’m impressed. I wish I had something to give you but I am VERY tired. I don’t really have a good way to wrap this up in a beautiful Conclusion, since I made my point way earlier, so celebrate getting here with this:

#sso #star stable #starstable #star stable online #starstableonline #tumblr plz just post this in the tags

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mr-entj · 4 years

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Hi Mr ENTJ, How do you deal with doubt? That gripping feeling that you're just not enough and you should be better? How do you look for answers from the inside rather than just patch in on from the outside? Thanks.

Related answers:

Can you talk about the quality(ies) or trait(s) that contributed most to your success?

What do you think is required from a person to succeed ?

Dealing with failure and overcoming adversity

You’re referring specifically to self-doubt. This is a great question that took me a long time to properly articulate a response because I didn’t want to dismiss it with a stereotypical: “I don’t feel self-doubt. I just fix the problem, power through it, and move on!” like every other ExTJ out there. I want to properly explain why this is the case so let me try:

I don’t often experience self-doubt or the gripping feeling that I’m not good enough, not because I’m a perfect human being (far from it-- here’s a greatest hits collection of some of my biggest failures), but because of my general approach to life that’s shaped by a few key beliefs.

1. I know where the world ends and where I begin

This means that I know where the line exists between what I want and what the world wants, between who I am and who other people want me to be, and between my expectations for my life and other people’s expectations of me. I see this boundary crystal clear and I enforce it. I set my own goals and I hold myself accountable to them.

This helps fight self-doubt because I don’t attach my self-esteem and self-worth to externally defined goals or assessments, I don’t accept unwanted input into my personal life from people who don’t matter, and I don’t compare myself to other people in destructive ways. If I compare myself to other people, it’s for the purposes of data gathering and not validation.

For example, the knowledge that most students graduate college in 4 years tells me that 4 years is the average amount of time. My key takeaway is that 3 years is above average speed and 4+ years is below average speed so I should aim to get my degree in approximately 4 years. My key takeaway is not that I’m a disastrous failure if I don’t graduate college in 4 years. And FYI, I ended up graduating in 6 years because I dropped out for 2 years and I still turned out fine.

Self-defined and self-enforced goals are critical to combating self-doubt because they mute all the outside noise; pushy parents, nosy friends, aggressive colleagues, and fickle societal standards. Life is very difficult by itself without the added complexity of multiple people pulling you in different directions that you don’t even want to go. Set clear boundaries and take the time to self-reflect what’s important to you so that you can be happy with the results of your efforts even if they don’t yield acknowledgement from anyone else.

tl;dr:

Find peace with the life you create for yourself because it’s you that has to live it.

2. I keep the big picture in mind, always

This means perspective. In the grand scheme of things, small losses here and there don’t amount to much because life is a marathon and not a sprint. This means that if you screw up today, there’s a high chance you can fix it tomorrow. If not, then know the world isn’t going to end because of it. The sun will still rise, babies will still be born, puppies will still be cute, your family will still love you, Tumblr will still be toxic, and the earth will still spin on its axis. I have failed classes, almost got held back in school, screwed up at work, infuriated important people, been rejected from 100+ jobs, lost important scholarships, and things still worked out because those failures didn’t matter in the long run even if they felt enormous at the time I was experiencing them. I know mistakes can be fixed, they’re not permanent, and they don’t sabotage the grand vision I have for my life. It makes the times I fall on my ass less painful which consequently makes me less fearful of trying to fly over and over again until I get it right.

This helps fight self-doubt because I attach failure to individual outcomes (actions) but I do not attach failure to me personally (identity).

For example, if I applied to Harvard University but got rejected, my interpretation of that outcome is this: “I failed to get into Harvard.” Yes, I failed to get into Harvard (action) but no, I am not a failure (identity).

The failure starts and stops at the end of an outcome, I don’t let it escape its container and infect other parts of my life by internalizing this kind of garbage: “I failed to get into Harvard so I’m dumb, I’m unworthy, and I suck.” This prevents self-doubt because I know failure is an isolated incident and I don’t take it personally. I don’t absorb failure as a personal identity-- I attach it to the specific event, action, or outcome and then store it in my vast library of knowledge as a lesson learned.

tl;dr:

Life is long and screwing up is part of the journey. Remember that you can fail at things (action) without being a failure (identity).

3. I accept that life is a game of probability

This means that I view life as a statistics game with events on a sliding scale between low probability of success and high probability of success. Probability of success is influenced by many variables such as my preparation, my natural abilities, the economy, my competition, timing, etc. I adjust the probability of success based on those variables to make better predictions:

I know that if my goal is to join the National Basketball Association (NBA), my probability of success is lower because my basketball skills and physical traits are below the average of a typical professional basketball player.

I know that if my goal is to get accepted to one of the best universities in the world, my probability of success is higher because my grades, test scores, and academic profile are above the average of a typical applicant.

Low probability of success doesn’t mean low effort. I don’t half-ass things that are unlikely to happen, I put high effort in all my endeavors if I really care about them and an obvious example of that is my life. Everything I’ve achieved in my life has been statistically improbable because I come from an underprivileged background where it was highly unlikely for me to have the life I have now. I beat the odds and achieved my goals anyway because I maximized my chances of success.

This perspective influences how I interpret success and failure:

Low probability of success that results in failure: “This outcome is what I expected so I’m not surprised, but at least I tried, gave it my best shot, and I know the answer. I’ll learn where I can improve and take that knowledge forward into the future.”

Low probability of success that results in success: “This outcome is not what I expected but I’m pleased it went my way. I understand this was an exception to the norm and I’m grateful it leaned in my favor.”

High probability of success that results in success: “This outcome is what I expected and I’m pleased it went my way. I need to continue doing the things that worked well and keep that knowledge for future reference.”

High probability of success that results in failure: “This outcome is not what I expected so I’m disappointed. I need to evaluate why I failed, understand how I can improve, and try again until I get it right.”

This helps fight self-doubt because it does one very crucial thing for me: it makes it impossible for me to lose.

I tell people all the time: “I’m undefeated because I’m still standing and I’m still going.” I can’t lose, I can only learn. It enables me to set realistic goals, have realistic expectations about my chances to achieve them, understand why I failed, and feel grateful when I succeed. Success is never guaranteed and failure is always accounted for in my calculations so I’m never blindsided. I know that I can be “perfect” and still fail, but I also know that I can be “imperfect” and still succeed. If I’ve done everything within my power and it’s still not going my way, then I’m not plagued with self-doubt because I can accept it was beyond my control and that it’s time to try something else.

tl;dr:

Many things in life are out of your control but try your best so you have peace of mind that you’re not quitting-- you’re moving on.

I’m not invincible, but for these reasons, it’s rare for me to feel self-doubt because I don’t view life as a game of “am I good enough or not?” I view life as a game of “what’s the best way to get what I want and did it work?” My two options are then: 1) Succeed, learn, and move on or 2) Fail, learn, and move on. There’s no third option to spiral into uncertainty and crippling self-doubt. I focus my energy on identifying the problem, the variables I can control, and the learnings from my outcomes.

In the rare times I do feel self-doubt, I go through a rigorous self-reflection exercise to identify the cause whether that’s concerns about personal decisions I’ve made, thoughts on my professional trajectory, or the state of my relationships. I identify the outcome that I want, gather information on how to secure that outcome, and give it my best shot. The result of that effort provides knowledge, wisdom, and opportunities to either 1) continue on the same path or 2) stop and try something else.

Ultimately, I always feel like there’s something wonderful in life waiting for me just around the corner and agonizing over past failures or self-doubt-- instead of getting up and trying again-- only delays me getting it.

#doubt #self-esteem #self-confidence #self-doubt #psychology #strength #personality #failure #success #personal #faq

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rkwon · 6 years

Text

the curtains will quietly fall.

( ★ ) mgas season four → 4.1: team beagle’s 2018 bop ! → love scenario cover ( line dist. ) !

placing so low last week reminds him that it’s never enough to believe in yourself or your team, to feel confident and comfortable in what you have achieved not only over the course of the week but in the real, final performance, too. it reminds him that there’s more to this than doing your best; that trying hard only works in academics when you already have potential, only works in sports when you already have a physical background. because at the end of the day, no one else knows you feel happy, no one else feels what you feel, they only see what’s on the surface, and it hadn’t been enough.

it hits harder than he expects placing second from bottom, and even more so when changmin goes home. seeing someone he’d watched work so hard leave is another reminder that no one is safe. regardless of age, skill level, upbringing, popularity — no one is safe.

( except the producers’ picks, of course, but from the inside and being so painfully inexperienced socially, he can’t tell who they are, anyway, so for all intents and purposes, no one is safe. )

he can’t even bring himself to be happy for mingyu who placed higher than him ( where he rightfully belongs ) because even his team places sixth and sees a member go home and won doesn’t really understand. after three weeks, he thinks it should be obvious to him what they’re looking for by now but he doesn’t understand. it’s a knee-jerk reaction; to wonder what lacked from the whole package that is his boyfriend, and from himself who had been so proud of what he and his team had achieved. he draws a blank.

he wishes he could say it motivates him to do absolutely everything he can to be better in the following week, but maybe it’s just the timing of it all, but instead, he draws further into his shell, wonders things he hasn’t thought about since december as he listens to his group chat around him.

instead, what motivates him, and what he wishes was his main driver for the week instead for its healthier repercussions, is his team. having sua’s familiar ( and reassuring ) personality around makes him feel safe, and junhoe’s fire sparks his own, pulling him momentarily out from behind his protective shield every so often to quip back a playful tease. he’d never met donghyun or guanlin before, but he’d seen their other performances, seen their names pop up online in comments he certainly shouldn’t be reading at three am when he can’t sleep. after a little time with them, he warms enough to pitch in a nod of the head when he agrees with something said in discussion and this is how they decide upon a song, having thrown around close to a million before settling on one he agrees is a strong enough release in its own right to give them a chance of at least grabbing attention. that seems like half the fight with so many contestants and groups at this point.

having seen mingyu rarely come home the week before, he wonders if that’s the difference between eighth and sixth place, wonders if he didn’t do enough in the ceos eyes to help his team push towards the top. maybe he comes across as uninterested because he happily went home each night to see mingyu’s family and sleep in a comfortable, albeit cold and lonely bed. it’s difficult to persuade the others to let him stay behind, and one night in particular there’s nothing he can say to convince them to leave him once they all go over to sua’s for a sleepover. ( and when mingyu asks him to come home on tuesday, the guilt of evening thinking about saying no begins to eat him alive. ) nights he can, he sleeps on the practice room floor for a few hours a night, wakes up before the others can arrive and quietly shrugs if asked if he’d been here all night or what time he’d arrived. he doesn’t call sujin, not after seeing himself on television the sunday before; in fact, he barely even touches his phone at all, only to text mingyu back and turn off his alarms as he stretches out tired arms.

halfway through the week, he decides this group is less familiar than his previous, even if he already knows half the members. they bicker more than he had seen in team g, particularly junhoe and sua’s unaligned perceptions of leadership. ( even somi, who he had started the week petrified of, had become someone he could at least make eye contact with for longer than ten seconds without trembling. ) luckily, they vibe well in performance mode from what won can tell.

( but he doesn’t know a thing, really, does he? )

despite his uncertainty, and despite learning the choreography himself that week, he does his best to help those struggling. he’s not the most talkative instructor, but he is precise in his movements and patient in his teaching. he’s sat in on enough of the lessons at the studio he used to clean to know that getting frustrated doesn’t help anyone. some things take time, even if realistically, they don’t have too much of it.

he just doesn’t want to be a bother, or worse; useless.

he doesn’t want to be eighth again.

another motivator for their success, strangely, is meeting sua’s beagle. in a week where won struggled to find anything that made him truly feel at peace, seeing the wagging tail of a new dog had made the brightest smile stretch his features. maybe it’s stupid, but it makes him feel a little more energised seeing the endless, carefree happiness of a pup. once, years ago when he was young, he had been like that. he doesn’t need to ask himself what happened, but he does ask himself why he can’t still fight to be now that things are better for him. why is he letting so many things drag him down?

it’s not what they want to see, but why isn’t he just focusing on enjoying this opportunity?

he smiles as they bow. “lo-o-ove scenario! hello, we are team beagle!” hearts shoot from each member towards the audience, a refreshing, cheerful change from how he’d felt the rest of the week. it takes more than overnight to change an entire mindset but standing on stage, knowing that this is the defining moment and afterwards, all the stress will be over for another week, he feels some relief, some peace. his fingers still tremble slightly with nerves, but there’s no lingering worry or upset. this is it. soon, hopefully, he’ll understand.

it’s unclear if it’s his insecurities or truth, but he feels like he takes less of a role this week, the song feeling overall more balanced. there’s more rapping, for sure, though he doesn’t think the dance is as impressive ( though he also thinks that’s strategic given that this group isn’t as strong at the skill ). honestly, he practices the dance alone very little, finding it more beneficial to run through the performance in its entirety, singing as he moves, precise movements made in time to smooth vocals.

once, before they start, he pats his chest, feels the small key against his skin remind him of why he’s here.

나 살아가면서 가끔씩 떠오를 기억 그 안에 네가 있다면 그거면 충분해

his first line isn’t until almost a minute in, giving him time to feel comfortable with their synergy as a group. with tensions earlier in the week, he had worried silently for a little time if they’d be able to come together and appear a well-oiled machine by the end of the week but it became apparent quickly that regardless of disagreements, regardless of his shy nature worsening this week, they were all talented in their respective skills and loved to perform more than anything. that doesn’t mean anything for teamwork, really, but when their desires to go forth with the competition and their dreams outweighs whatever they might have bumped heads on ( and he knows this himself, as it’s something he struggles with internally, too ), they can come together surprisingly well to form a team that is as passionate as it is talented.

besides, perhaps how easy it had been to choose a song last week, how easy it’d been to mesh together, was their downfall, as ridiculous as it sounds to him. the last thing this competition has reminded him this week is that anything is possible.

the beat isn’t particularly fast, and the dance isn’t particularly complex bar a few choice moments ( at least not for someone who’s been dancing as long as he has ), but he thinks it’s intricate enough to show the skill any dance takes to those who are only seeing snippets through a television screen, or who don’t know dance as well as the ceos and many of the other contestants here do. but it’s fun. it’s not a dance that takes itself too seriously, nor is it too far in the other direction either. the song itself is calm, but not boring; upbeat, but not overwhelming. he thinks the vibe of their performance, streetwear and all, suits their leader especially, even if he wouldn’t tell the oldest.

( he’d never hear the end of jeon won complimented me, does he have a fever? after all. )

네가 벌써 그립지만 그리워하지 않으려 해 한 편의 영화 따스했던 봄으로 너를 기억할게

his next vocal part is the bridge once again, his second favourite part of the choreography that conveniently follows his favourite. it’s honouring getting such important parts of the vocals, though the pressure to do well isn’t as exciting. he’s lucky that his parts aren’t demanding dance-wise, allowing him full control over his voice and its stability in particular. his vocals are smooth and calming at their best and this is one of those times where he can really take advantage of that.

he doesn’t forget what sua had taught them last week either; how to really flourish in front of the camera once it hones in on you, how to command attention when the time is right and you’re front and centre. he doesn’t forget the patience she’d taught him, and he doesn’t forget the passion junhoe had drawn out of them this week. he’s humble as a member of a team, something he couldn’t have expected always having lived in a world for so long that was only ever against him and never with. every time he feels the lens following him, he meets it momentarily to flash a confident gaze, the bright smiles of last week’s pinocchio not feeling as appropriate for this performance. maybe if he exudes confidence without taking a moment to consider that he feels it is what the ceos want to see. maybe. he’ll probably never know.

우리가 만든 love scenario 이젠 조명이 꺼지고 마지막 페이지를 넘기면 조용히 막을 내리죠

then, they all come together. it’s a mix of voices, tones, but after so much practice, they match well in a light harmony that feels as wistful as the original’s. again, it’s a part of the song that doesn’t feel like it takes itself too seriously, their voices filling the stage with ease rather than forced perfection and their movements relaxed and free, as long as they end in the correct formation for the small parts of organised choreography in the final chorus and two-part outro.

as a dancer, he feels like he should love this part allowing him to show off how naturally his body moves to a beat but the ‘disorganisation’ ( of course, they had practised it a million times, so it’s never truly freestyle ) of it all makes him nervous. it’s all too easy for one of them to bump into another, step on someone’s feet, and he has to resist the urge to look down at his feet to make sure that person isn’t him. forcing his head high, he sings along with the others, quietening his voice so his deep tone doesn’t stand out too much with those understandably higher.

they’re so close to the end now that won can taste it, can taste the relief he’ll feel sitting down to watch the others ( until the stress settles in as he wonders where everyone will place, of course ). he jumps the final hurdle with revitalised energy, desperate to show a strong performance worthy of much higher than they had placed last week, if not for himself, then for sua.

우린 아파도 해봤고 우습게 질투도 했어 미친 듯이 사랑했고 우리 이 정도면 됐어

finishing on the youngest feels like a strong decision, the young boy certainly the main appeal ( in his opinion ) of their group with his fresh, youthful visuals and aura.

as the instrumental behind them fades to silence, won thinks the cyclical nature of the song is his true favourite part of it all. it makes him feel like the end of their performance truly is the end; that there’s no more to do, that nothing feels incomplete.

it’s crazy how quickly three and a half minutes can pass under the heat of the stage lights, but with a pounding heart and the rapid rise and fall of his chest, he smiles. he’s proud of his group, but he reminds himself before he can get excited: anything is possible.

#rkmga4 #rkmga4new #wn.solo #wn.mga4 #wn.live #( wc; 2182 )

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study-early · 6 years

Text

January 1st 2017 feels like a long time ago, but it still feels odd that a whole year has passed. This year has been a hectic year to say the least. I've not been particularly active on here, but a lot of things have happened, good and bad which I have learnt from, both in my academic and personal life.

1- Keep Looking Forward

This sort of falls into two areas.

When starting my second year of University, I lost focus on why I was actually there. I had applied to university in the interest of learning as much as I could, but had forgotten this over my first year. Others aspirations, career advice and department information, all the events and new things at university had distracted me. It left me de-motivated and in a cycle of feeling like a failure and too much of a failure to do anything about it. I was aiming for everything, not what I wanted.

If you're very busy, sometimes you end up living day to day. There's nothing wrong with this, you need to get through now to get to tomorrow. Any student who has had several deadlines on the same day or experienced final exams knows sometimes you just need to pull through. However you shouldn't forget why you are doing what you are doing now. It's the same for the future. It shouldn’t be like that all the time.

Look ahead, whether that's a month, a year or years away. I had also lost focus on what I actually wanted to do, focusing on what I thought was the right thing to aim for. Aim for what you really want, whether that is related to your studies or not. Keep reminding yourself why you are where you are now and where you want to go.

Write down your goals and what you want

SMART Goals are particularly good- these are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Timely (Have a deadline)

Review these from time to time, regularly if you can

Look back at what your previous goals were, if you've had it long enough, go back and look at your studyblr a few years ago

Listen to others, but don't compare yourself to them, you do things your own way

2- Your Studies Aren't everything

If there is anything I learnt this year that Studyblrs seem to need to remember is that your studies aren't everything. Celebrate your academic accomplishments, celebrate graduating and celebrate your careers, but don't focus on it too heavily.

A career doesn't need to be all encompassing, you have a life outside of it. You can get gratification outside of it. Remembering this helped me a lot. I'm interested in science and technology, and whilst I know almost nothing about coding, I’ve read a lot about Artificial Intelligence. A lot of talk about AI is about the loss of jobs. When you put all your aspirations on a career, hearing this is pretty discomforting. It was nerve wracking for me, someone with my entire career ahead of me.

Make sure to give yourself time out. There's so much out there now on self-care, but actually give yourself time out. Have things outside of your studies you put effort into and get joy out of. Only you know what this is, it can be totally embarrassing or be 'useless' to your CV but if it improves your life you should pursue it in your spare time.

On this point, friendships and relationships are perfectly good things to work on. In theory, I could work more and get firsts instead of seeing friends or travelling home at weekends. I use the phrase in theory, because in reality I would definitely have a breakdown. Your social life isn't in direct opposition to your grades. Even if it is, it's totally valid to choose your social life. It's about balancing the two, not eradicating one.

If you plan your time, make sure to plan in time for things other than studying

Alternatively, give yourself realistic goals of what you want to achieve in a day, then leave the rest of it free for your interests

Take up a new hobby or something you've always wanted to try

Got a friend you've thought about seeing but haven't? Or someone you want to get to know better? Go for it, message them or meet up with them

3- Get the right amount of rest

Similarly, resting is about balance. You want to keep your stress down but not keep yourself in a state of idleness.

Being busy doesn't necessarily mean you are at your most productive. Resting is not doing nothing. For one, your brain needs sleep to process information, form links and consolidate your memories. Second, taking breaks, even when you're awake provokes a similar process. (x) (x) (There’s plenty of research out there if you’re interested in it)

This year I learnt the importance of rests after I went over a month without going home and ended up in hospital. It's a hard lesson to learn, even then sometimes I would push myself too far. Often, as soon as I gave myself a break, the façade I had been keeping up by being busy would crumble down.

Do a little bit of rest and other things a lot to keep your stress down, but make sure not to be too idle. This summer, I let depression leave me in a state of doing nothing. As soon as I got a job, just working in a café, doing that little bit of work helped me get going. Taking a small step helped me to study for my Autumn exams, as it got me moving.

Keep in mind if it's worth staying up to study more, or if it would be better to sleep

Find a sleep schedule that works for you, aim for 5-7 hours, and closer to 10 if you're a teenager

Naps are good in moderation

Sometimes doing a little bit makes you feel a lot better

Try telling yourself to do 20 minutes of studying, and if you want to keep going, keep going, if not, stop

4- Exercise

I was as sceptical as anyone of the suggestion that exercise was good for managing your stress and especially sceptical when suggesting it to manage depression. However I'm a convert to the idea.

Exercise, and other basic routines, are a base for you to improve your mental health. Anti-depressants, eating regularly, exercising, sleeping enough, all the small pieces of advice you get can seem trivial. They seem especially trivial, when you have relapsed and feel as if they have failed you before, that people tell you these things will make you better when they don't.

I say they're a base, because that's what they are for me at the moment. Recovering from a mental health problem is not inspirational leaps forward, it is constant work, constant discipline and constant failures. It's like taking on an extra job, except that it's all the time and you never get holidays. The aforementioned list has been a base for me to recover, some days I can do these and work through the big things, but other days they are just there to keep me going. If I go to the gym, or if I make dinner, I feel like I've achieved something. Looking after yourself in a little way makes things a bit better, to give strength to improve.

Exercise as beneficial is definitely something I have learnt this year. In the past it has been a negative experience for me, being lonely in school lessons and punishing myself for insecurities in my body. This year I've changed my attitude to exercise, as a tool to improve my mood, to release energy, to refresh my mind, wake me up or tire me out for bed.

It was difficult, to part with my money, to have the courage to go the gym and use the equipment (I’m terrified of falling off the treadmill and the men looking at me in the weight room), but all this made me happier for overcoming my fears. Little struggles and little achievements helped me with the bigger struggles.

Take walks if you haven't got the opportunity to do much, a 30 minute walk isn't actually as time consuming as it sounds

Talking walks in nature, or parks if you're in a city, are really relaxing, at least in my opinion they are Walks are also a good time to meditate or practice calming techniques, especially if you walk to quiet spots

If you're interested in a team sport find out if there's a team you could join, most are pretty open to all levels

The internet is full of things you can do in your house, or with no equipment, more than I could list

5- Sometimes you need to 'Fail'

Perfectionism sucks. Let's be real here. I'm not the only one who takes anything less than what is the best as a failure. Over this year I've learnt to try and ditch this idea.

As you might’ve guessed, it's been a bit of a rough year for me. Expecting myself to be perfect and outstanding at everything is a large part of this. One thing I've learnt, especially in the months after I left hospital, is that sometimes it is better to do something half-assed or badly on time than to do nothing at all. You’ll get a higher mark on an assignment if you hand something okay in than if you don’t hand it in at all.

Similarly, things won’t always go perfectly straight away. You need to practice things and sometimes things don’t work at all unless it’s been a long time. For me this year, I missed out on the societies at university because I expected to make friends straight away and got nervous if I didn’t. Expecting everything to be perfect means you could miss out on good things. If you’re starting University this year, remember this, you may have chosen the wrong place or course, but you also may not be settling in straight away.

This is about mindset. Most of it is learning, something you figure out on your own

Stop putting yourself down, look at what you are good at. Write down what you like about yourself, accept your achievements, think about what others would think of your thoughts

Reframe your view on mistakes. Try to foster a Growth Mindset, look at your mistakes as opportunities to improve

Be realistic about your goals and give yourself goals you can actually achieve

Remember no one is perfect and they all make mistakes, repeat this to yourself.

6- I've given up on hand writing notes

There's not really a lot to say here. It's also something that lots of people have said already on here, Writing out pretty or 'aesthetic notes' isn't everything.

It can help you to study, but don't let the time doing this outweigh the benefits. I largely stopped because it was easier for me to take messy notes in class or on a laptop, then not write the up until before an exam. Also because for several of my subjects, it wasn't mostly memorisation anymore but understanding of concepts. Writing nice notes weren’t helping me understand more, and they weren't useful for my group projects or writing essays.

This isn't to say I don't think it has it uses. I still take notes the way I did during my A Levels for Spanish, but that's more memorisation. Essentially, take notes in the best way for you and what you’re learning, not what people have said is best or what looks best for your blog.

Do whatever form of note taking works for you

Try out different methods of studying and notetaking, to see if you find something that works better for you

There's plenty of software for recording classes, mine was paid for by a government grant, but there are plenty of alternatives

Actually listening in class, instead of taking notes, has always been useful for me in understanding content, or at least taking very brief or messy notes, with shorthand phrases

7- Taking other notes

Whilst I don't carry folders of notes around anymore, I do take a notebook with me everywhere I go now.

It cost me 95p from the University shop, it's not particularly pretty inside or out and I've used it as a coaster quite a few times so it's covered in ring marks. I take it almost everywhere with me. If I'm going somewhere with decent lighting and a chance of sitting around it's coming.

Notebooks are great for keeping all your ideas together in one place. A rough book can be a first point to remember things, before you put them elsewhere. And if you want you could keep some sort of journal or diary.

For me, it's been useful just to work through things at times I usually wouldn't, like on the tube or on a walk. Often your best ideas are at times you're not at your desk working. I've got notes about assignments, blog posts, public lectures I've attended, meetings I've been to and just a general mess of ideas. If writing helps you think, it can be an aid in thinking and planning. Writing out my thoughts and having these all in one book helped me to process and plan this year.

8- Alcohol

When I turned 18 and could legally drink, alcohol went from being something that would make me throw up to something fun and sociable. Too many bad things, embarrassing things, traumatising things, that have happened to me this year have been related to alcohol. Alcohol became a crutch, making social situations unbearable without it, and to me drinking more and more in these situations.

At university, the view of what constitutes a normal amount of drinking is distorted. At least in the UK, people drink a lot. Like a lot. And from what I've seen, people at my university in London don't even drink as much as elsewhere in the country, but it’s still a lot.

The normalisation of binge drinking is dangerous, as it causes so many problems for people but these are not seen as being as problematic as if they were illegal drugs or other forms of self harm. And that's what binge drinking is, a form of self harm. The increased risk of cancer from alcohol use is massively underestimated by the public and I’ve seen first hand the immediate damage to people’s emotional, mental and physical health I’m being fairly dramatic, but it feels like 99% of the time alcohol abuse is treated so casually, it’s disturbing.

One of my biggest study tips for other university students out there would be to drink less. Obviously, not everybody drinks, but at the same time at university it feels like everybody drinks. If you drink, you probably know going out and getting wasted doesn't just take up the time you are doing it, you can lose a whole day of work from being hungover. Do this every week and it adds up. From my experience, going out once a week was below average for freshers.

I'm not going to be judgemental about this. I'm hardly in a position to be, considering I'm not completely sober. But it's something I've sadly not seen on study tips posts before, even though many people first take drugs or drink at university or college. Sorting out any problems you have with drugs, including alcohol, helps a lot in general, not just with your studies.

9- Remember the Good Things

One of the nicest moments I had recently was when I reviewed goals I had set over a year ago on my blog. After having a quite frankly terrible year I expected to have met very few of them. However I had actually met quite a lot of them.

Suddenly I remembered all the effort I had put in during the last year, and actually recognised it. Take a little time to think about what you’ve achieved. When you get praise actually listen. Appreciate yourself and your efforts.

Look back at 2017 honestly but recognise all you have done this year.

Happy New Years!

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