#you weren't sure what to do

[let-keigo-smash]

Your exploration of the building rooftop has led you to an unexpected encounter with the wing villain Hawks!! What will you do?

#hawks #keigo takami #villain hawks #mha #mha fanart #bnha #bnha fanart #art #my art #art fun #your a hero and you came onto the scene soon after graduating UA #hawks has been known villain for a few years #former hero on the most wanted list #you weren't sure what to do #you knew he was miles ahead of you in terms of power and skill #you were both incredibly scared and incredibly curious #why did the hero turn villain? #your heart was pounding in your chest #why did he have to be so handsome?

[lilybug-02]

Bribed with Chocolate. The way it should be.

Part 22 || First || Previous || Next

--Full Series--

More to come as this is a two-parter. But you know how I am with schedules.

Bonus:

I think this was an equally possible reaction from Chara.

#Chara and Azzy have another talk #Finally Chara shows their mischievous side. #and Azzy knows Chara's language well #my art #deltarune chara timeline #art #bread #deltarune #ngl im so happy with how that chocolate shake came out. I want to eat it so bad #yay 6 pages of taking :') i hope you guys like that lmao #Glad I got this one done in basically a month and a week! Hah. I'm trying me best :') Halloween.. Exams and a ton of other things came up #surprisingly these backgrounds weren't terrible to do... I mean took more than two hours but you know what I mean #i struggled with how to frame the background though. I actually liked drawing it. But because both the background and my characters-- #--are super colorful I have to make sure I don't muddle the whole page. #Ive been thinking of doing the overworld in black and white recently... may help me actually finish the comic lol. idk i may make a poll #gonna try and get the new part out in maybe a month again? sorry. Thanksgiving and Christmas get me exhausted.

[dcomposing]

the trigger happy havoc survivors make me so mentally ill if i think about them for too long.

like we do not have anything in common and i dont even particularly like you. i dont know if we would have been friends if this hadn't happened to us but it did and now i'm not going to lose you. i dont know your favorite color but also ive never known anyone so intimately. i dont know how to make conversation with you. i feel nervous when you arent in my line of sight. please stay safe out there. let me know if you need help. i believe in you.

#what was it like for them immediately after that door opened. when they reexperinced the end of the world for the first time. #how long did they have to navigate the wasteland #taking turns keeping watch in awkward pairs #and then getting rescued by the foundation!! being separated after only having eachother for god knows how long!! #suddenly being burdened with a new host of responsibilities after only thinking of surviving for so long #how long did it take before they stopped panicking when the others weren't in the cantina at breakfast. #did they miss eachother. did they know that they missed eachother or were they just freaked out by the sudden emptiness they couldnt place. #UGGGHHH THEY MAKE ME CRAZYY #especially because with the exception of naegi it doesnt even seem like the six who survived were close pre tragedy!! #like if you take the mangas as canon. they all lost the people they were actually close to #or just. didnt get close to anyone. #danganronpa thh #do i want to tag characters #fuck it sure #makoto naegi #kyouko kirigiri #byakuya togami #aoi asahina #yasuhiro hagakure #touko fukawa #danganronpa #really cool and very interesting

[sacchiri]

Hellsing 2002 calendar illustration.

Ein wunderliche und erschröckliche Hystori von einem großen Wüttrich genant Dracole wayda Der do so ganz unkristenliche marrter hat angelegt die mensche, als mit spissen als auch die leut zu Tod geslyffen

A wondrous and frightening story about a great berserk called Dracula the voivode who inflicted such unchristian tortures such as with stakes and also dragged people to death

#hellsing #alucard #kouta hirano #translation was found in a comment by u/lazyfoxheart on r/Kurrent #fun fact this is the highest quality version of this image that exists online #i know because i've been looking forever for a version that's clear enough to actually read what hirano wrote under '1443' #but there weren't any so i had to take matters into my own hands #the real image on the back of the guidebook is only 2 inches tall so i had to take this with my smartphone and will my hands not to shake #anyway i'm pretty sure it's supposed to say Eğrigöz (the location vlad was imprisoned) so yeah. thank you hirano very cool #if i might rant for a sec it took me an embarrassingly long time to figure that out because i didn't have the guidebook at first #and in the images i could find online that part was just a blur that looked suspiciously like a person's signature and i was like. who tf #i was thinking matthias corvinus since he issued some political propaganda against vlad iirc but it didn't match his signature on wikipedia #then i thought it might be vlad II dracul's since he probably had to sign an agreement to send his sons over as hostages at some point #but that didnt seem right either so i kept skimming vlad's wiki page #and then i was like goddammit...hirano.....you just misspelled Eğrigöz didn't you.. .... #i maybe should've made a separate post dedicated to this instead of writing a novel in the tags but eh #the hellsing brainrot runs deep #also- i put it in the source link at the bottom of the post but the german inscription is copied off a real woodcut of vlad from 1491 #except instead of depicting him as an adult hirano drew him as a child which gives the inscription a very different feel imo #the one final thing that interests me about this is the fact that hirano published this calendar in 2002 #which is REALLY early in the series. like this was before volume 5 came out?? #i have no idea why he decided to do a massive spoiler drop in a random piece of japan-only merch #sandwiched between a drawing of alucard as john travolta from saturday night fever and integra as a fish no less #it makes me really curious to know what the fan response to this was back then. like did people even know who this was #maybe im just an idiot and everyone back then was like 'ah yes its alucard as a 12 year old. how very informative'

[chirpsythismorning]

Some of the evidence supporting Mike not being in love with El is brutal. No, but seriously.

In s3, when El's leg is injured, instead of Mike putting his arm around her waist, allowing him to take some of the weight off her injured leg, he puts his arm around her shoulder, basically having the exact opposite affect of taking the weight off of her, instead just adding more weight for her to have to carry.

Now, I’m not coming at Mike here, I’m actually coming at the writers, because this choice here has everything to do with them using this gesture to signal Mike’s lack of feelings for El, even at the expense of realism.

I say this bc any person with common sense, including Finn and everyone around him and Millie filming these shots, would've known it looked unnatural for Mike to be adding more weight onto El as opposed to taking some off of her.

This means that what Mike did here, Finn was directed to do, and therefore it was for a specific reason.

And we know they could have easily made the opposite choice, because they show us Max AND Lucas doing it.

See how putting an arm around El's waist looks so much more natural? Because homegirl is injured and clearly needs help taking weight off her leg to qualm some of the pain she's experiencing there, which is why Max and Lucas are shown here doing it the correct way.

And so, why can't Mike do the same? Why are the writers making a point to show Mike being incapable of simply taking some weight off of El, instead doing the exact opposite?

I don't think it's as deep as Mike not being able to do something intimate, and that's bc, again we see Max and Lucas doing it.

I honestly think what they're trying to convey with this choice here, is that Mike thinks he's helping El, when he is in fact doing the opposite despite his best efforts. The implications of that and how that sort of aligns with their romantic relationship and what it leads to at the end of s3, going into s4, is pretty spot on.

I do think Mike thinks he's doing the right thing by being with El instead of voicing any doubts at the end of s3, because he is under the assumption that she is in love with him. I do think he believes he is indebted to her and that this is the least he can do after everything they've been through together, which has mostly been riddled with romantic pressures and so continuing that instead of disputing it seems like the only option anyways. Not to mention, he does care for her deeply, so it's not hard to imagine that he's a teenage boy confusing deep care for love (he literally tells us this is his problem when he can only say care and not love to El's face... but that's a whole other conversation).

Still, when it's all said and done, Mike's not actually doing El any favors by being with her romantically, if that is not what he truly wants.

Because that's the sad truth about all of this, which is that you would never want someone to be with you just because you want them. If you knew that they truly couldn't have those feelings for you, you'd want to know, right? You don't deserve someone just because you have deep feelings for them. And I think there's so many layers to this idea, bc many people are capable of not giving Byler a chance bc they truly believe Mike could never return Will's feelings. Will also feels this way atp, so though it hurts, he rips the band aid off, because he would never want Mike to be with him just out of pity or something. No one would want that. And so it all really comes down to who Mike truly loves romantically and wants to be with. And the right thing to do, even if it hurts someone, is to be honest, because being with them just bc you think that will make them happy is never going to be enough if you aren't truly feeling it, or worse, feel it for someone else.

We see how Mike's inability to be honest with El at the end of s3, leads to a season of Mike feeling deeply insecure and undeserving of the love El has to offer him, and even though he does try, he always comes up short. Despite Mike putting up this front that they are the perfect couple, the details are telling us something is off. And it gives him away.

Another example that I think is very similar to this loaded gesture from Mike to El in s3, is the scene in s4 when they hug in the airport.

Common sense ppl, picture this: You're reuniting with your long distance girlfriend. Then suddenly, she runs up to you, with her arms wide open, and instead of opening your arms wide to embrace her properly, you take the bouquet of flowers you brought her as a gift, and shove them against your chest just as she approaches to hug you, effectively squishing the present you got for her (a pretty delicate present at that) for no reason other than to... what exactly?

Like?? El isn't even squishing the present Mike, she's trying to hug you, dude! Your gf is trying to hug you properly and you threw the gift you got for her in between you so you could throw in a careful! x3??

Again, this has less to do with Mike's thoughts and reasoning behind this gesture in a literal sense, and more to do with the simple fact that this is a narrative choice! Mike is not a real person! There are real people sitting down and writing this and actors are having to do multiple takes to act it out. What feels natural for a situation is going to be what is often chosen 9 times out of 10, because of realism and wanting the audience to see stuff happening that is believable. That 1 time though, when it's not being done the way it would usually be, is usually because there's a specific reason for it.!

So the question really is, not why is Mike doing this, but why are the writers having Mike do this, and what message are they trying to convey about Mike's feelings based on his behavior, in these moments where he's just not capable of committing to El genuinely, one way or another?

#byler #no but most of the gay subtext is just so like... you really didn't have to do all that? #gay subtext at the expense of realism? check #mike thinks he's helping el by not breaking her heart and just being with her despite feelings for will he can't deny #very reminiscent of mike's 'maybe you thought you were helping but you weren't. you hurt me! what you did sucks!' #i do think it would be epic too see that moment come full circle but with el saying it to mike this time #bc i'm sure el would much rather have her heartbroken finding out that mike is incapable of loving her romantically #than to find out he was with her bc he didn't want to hurt her even at the expense of his own happiness #like no one wants to have someone be with them out of pity or obligation #we want someone to love us truly and deeply and genuinely! #we see how much el struggles in s4 bc of all the hints she's getting from mike that he doesn't genuinely love her #bc that's the most important part of a romantic relationship #it being equal #and it didn't feel that way #sure she's gonna be pissed #but she's gonna be more pissed he wasn't just honest #friends don't lie obvs

[orb-the-watchman]

Me using forbidden magic to connect a keyboard w/ pause break to my iPad so I can access debug mode and terrorize Snaxburg with 15 Mama Mewons on the go

#bugsnax #I wish ios products weren't such a stronghold so I could. actually do that #their normal keyboards dont have pause break witch is what you need to access debug mode... #but also Im not even sure bugsnax iOS supports even normal apple keyboards I kinda just assume they do lol #it would be a little useful. for my comic too if I actually could.. I use debug mode for references all the time #orb ponders

[fromtheseventhhell]

Zutaras are really the original self-insert, "we understand the story soooooo much better than everybody else" girlies and they just never moved on

#anti zutara #no offense to anyone who ships it and follows me but I'm so over the shipping wars of this show that aired almost 20 years ago 😭 #at some point you guys are gonna need to hang it up cause there's a sequel series and these people are married with children like... #we get it if you were Katara you would've chosen Zuko but guess what?! you aren't and need to stop projecting onto her #the pretending to care about Katara is what really gets me cause she's never even implied to have romantic feelings for him #or vice-versa + it ignores her anger towards him and how long it took her to forgive him + rightfully so #criticizing the writing for Kataang is one thing but turning around and shipping Zutara while doing so is crazy work #ship it if you want but please stop pretending it makes more sense when both Zuko and Katara have their own separate romances 😭 #love how people have to age Aang down + infantilize him and erase Mai to make it work but sure it's the better option #stop erasing Katara's arc and development just to claim that Aang brings her down when she's been a bad-ass since season 1 #reducing her arc to that ONE moment with Zuko and ignoring all of her other development just to prop up a ship is nasty #Katara isn't a reward for Aang and she sure as hell isn't one for Zuko stop belittling her like that #if y'all didn't watch ATLA when you were 12 and think Zuko was cute this ship wouldn't even exist #thinking about that post that said the writers /pandered to dudebros/ like we all weren't children the delusion is crazy sdfssdfsdfsd #also seeing AANG of all characters getting whacked for a ship...please get a life and stay away from him #antizutara

[gen-is-gone]

my for some reason unpopular opinion is that it's boring when Fitz remains unhinged levels of self-deluded and closeted actually. Why does he have to be doctor who's answer to dean winchester, huh? why would this man in his mid-thirties who has spent at least a decade traveling in time and space still have weird insane hangups about being attracted to dudes? why does that need to be the thing about the text that we all collectively think is worth taking at face value? it's boring and fucking depressing and honestly doesn't make sense when the future of humanity in doctor who is that bisexuality is the cultural default and completely unremarkable.

#like geez I don't think that making it to thirty+ years old and still being afraid and filled with self-hatred is funny actually #eighth doctor adventures #eighth doctor #fitz kreiner #megan whines into the empty abyss of cyberspace #it's also weird because this definitely wasn't the attitude in fandom ten years ago #my suspicion is that Steve Cole's confirmation that Fitz was always meant to be bi made people start taking the text literally #in a way folks didn't before when slash shipping culture was just used to reading against a text as a default #like I vaguely recall a post going around shortly after that was confirmed in 2019 #that brought up how Fitz being canonically bi meant that all his weird hangups couldn't be handwaved away now #because if fandom made him bi against canon then you could just ignore his weirder no homo moments #but if he was intentionally written as bi then he was also intentionally written as deeply closeted #and like. that's true. but also you can just do whatever the fuck you want with canon no matter what #and also like #sure many of the writers were writing him as queer intentionally #but like the writing in the EDAs is so inconsistent of course some people are going to write weird no homo crap #because those writers weren't comfortable with queerness even if Cole's intent was that Fitz was bi #like The Gallifrey Chronicles's whole thing with Fitz and Trix is one long lance parkin no homo moment #does that really matter more than textual evidence that he is attracted to men and knows this about himself? #like I just don't know how you reconcile 'Fitz will bend over backwards to pretend he's straight' with #'a consideration of his chances of [...] getting laid by the Doctor' #or for that matter 'with the Doctor it's the real thing' #or the really really heavy implication that he and Sasha had a one night stand in History 101 #or that he and George went on a date in Camera Obscura which led to Fitz being invited on the Siberia expedition in the first place #and again and I can't emphasize this enough: why is this the thing about 'canon' that is so worth keeping? #why is Fitz being depressing levels of in denial more fun than him being openly bi? #destielification of Eight/Fitz smh

[xejune]

little request for @bookcalanthedaily of her calanthe & ciri (+ an additional tiny comic), thank you for your patience! ✨

sketches + process shot underneath the cut!

#the flowercrown is supposed to be made out of feainnewedd flowers but i took a lot of artistic liberties with the colours dshfjh #although they seem to potentially be based off of African Violets; which do come in pink! #the witcher #the witcher books #(kind of?) #the witcher 3 #ciri #cirilla fiona elen riannon #calanthe #queen calanthe #my art #i redrew this piece (& parts of it) so many times djkfsf also thank you to my bf for his patience with me while i was working on this LMAO #me: ah yes. a quick little sketch request; my brain: okay now what if we colour it through a method you're not used to #and also activate perfectionistic tendencies you weren't even aware of #me: sure! i don't see how this could go wrong :) #[cue a montage of multiple weeks passing by] #i had fun with it though! #will tumblr let this post appear in the tags? who knows! we'll see!

[wesavegotham]

There is also just something about the Joker talking about breaking Bruce this issue that really annoyed me.

How many Batman runs have been about "breaking Bruce/Batman" in a row now? Hasn't this been all writers could think of since Morrison did it? We get it, Bruce will always get up again, focus on something else already. Like an actually good detective story or something. Anything! Just stop trying to break Batman. We know he's not going to break no matter how many supporting characters you are throwing under the bus to hurt him.

I have my own gripes with people who cling to nostalgia, but sometimes I think the last few years have removed Bruce from the status quo people know too much and if the current trend continues I'm not sure what the next writer could even take from him to break Bruce. He has lost Alfred, his fortune, Wayne Manor, Wayne Enterprises, one of his hands, his family (depending on what book you are reading)...even killing him would be lame because of all the recent arcs that had the people of Gotham believe Batman was dead.

Maybe just go back to basics, give Bruce a few things he lost back, try to write interesting stories about Batman fighting his rogues gallery, have Bruce be a mentor/father to the members of the batfamily and let the whole "we need to break Batman" stuff rest for a few years. Just find another goal for your Batman run that isn't "I'm going to break him". God.

#I know some people weren't fans but a reason a lot of people liked Rebirth was because it returned characters back to a status quo they like #Not that Rebirth Batman was good I still despise King's run #But the general idea of Rebirth sounded good to a lot of people #There is literally no point to “breaking” Batman #I know he's not going to give up #Or kill someone #Or die #So if you want me to get excited confront him with choices where I'm actually not sure what he would do

[kyouka-supremacy]

--

#This is about the last thing I could have imagined happening to me but. #A girl just slid what pretty realistically is a love letter under my door and. I really don't know what to do about it #God. I like her a lot but I also really just love her as a friend?? #I don't. I have no idea what to reply because on one hand if I said something like #“yeah every second we spend together is precious to me too I love you <3 ” I would probably. Definitely come across wrong #But at the same time I can't just reply coldly I don't want to be rude. I do enjoy the time we spend together. #I just feel that if I don't reply with the same love and dedication I will come off as rude and make her sad and I really don't want to #But also I'm like. 100% sure I'm not into her romantically #It's just. The way she talks to me in the letter makes me feel... Odd in the bad way. #She spent words of admiration on me I really feel like I can't own you know. #She seems to look up to me a lot and I don't think I should be looked up to at all. #“You're a wonderful‚ very strong‚ and intelligent person” HOW DO YOU EVEN REPLY TO THAT. #“Uh I disagree but you're entitled to your opinion”... ? #Thank you? #This is. Ugh. I'm really not fit for this kind of stuff. #I LOVE exploring characters being in love and putting them in awkward ridiculous situations that make them miserable. #I HATE to be in such situations #As if exams weren't enough. How do I deal with that #Posting this just in case anyone has genuine advice btw. How do you reject a girl you actually like a lot #And how should I even write her back. Because she said to and I'm the WORST at writing back #Sis this is stressing me off so much. I want to dig a hole and disappear in it. I'm not getting out of my room for the next six months. #(For context we live in the same students dorm) #random rambles #I'm so distressed right now this is the absolute worst. #Like I was pretty fine with where we were at but now I feel like I really don't want to spend time with her again for a long time. #Deleting this soon hopefully

[ardentpoop]

the s4 parallels are putting my heart through the wringer :)

sam extends levels of compassion and patience to the vulnerable people in his life that he was never offered when he needed it most

#like he consistently has these scenes with struggling young people in particular where he's telling them what he needed to hear #you know he had to do all this work on his own to feel okay about himself bc DEAN sure as shit hasn't changed! #im going to fucking explode lmfao my angel..... never thought i'd get a whole arc like this so late in the show it's a good kind of hurt #spn #liveblog tag #13.03 #also remember cas asking him ''weren't YOU all alone when you went off to college at claire's age'' and sam saying ''that's different'' #''how sam?'' #HOW. part of him still sees himself as undeserving of all the love and care he gives to other people #and can you blame him? historically he's gotten so little in return

[side-b-bumblebi]

Men who view women as their intellectual equals 😍

#pro tip for the boys: a lot of girls will respond a lot better to a stimulating conversation than to a guy trying to show off #ignore the movies they're lying to you when they tell you you need to be a show off #and if a girl wants that it's maybe not the best sign y'know? #but most girls just want to be treated like we're capable intelligent humans #that's all!! the movies and shit make it way more complicated than it has to be #and yes some girls do make things awkward and complicate everything #but maybe you wanna be careful about that because those girls generally have a lot to unpack #being friends with those girls is fine!! just make sure you have strong boundaries in place #and make sure she's doing some work on herself before considering a romantic relationship #but anyway i've had a lot of men in my life that i feel like wanted to be so much smarter than me #and not to be rude but they weren't?? i was just as smart and sometimes smarter #i didn't care that they were confident in their intelligence but i felt like i needed to dumb myself down #and it. freaking. sucked. i have no idea how i did it for so long #and i would even make jokes about like the guys i dated being smarter than me and nobody ever said anything?? #and again these guys weren't smarter than me. that's not an insult to them just acknowledging i'm smarter than i was gave myself credit for #i'm outgrowing the notion that i have to dumb myself down for men and it's so freeing #and you know what really helps me actually? being in college #and especially being in college with so many intelligent men who know they're smart #these guys KNOW they're smart. and not in an arrogant way in a secure and confident way #them knowing they're smart makes them the OPPOSITE of arrogant actually #it's weird but i stand by my observation and it makes sense when you think about it #if you're secure in yourself and your intelligence you don't need to proce yourself by making other people look dumb #these guys are secure in their self-image and masculinity. they don't need women to be dumb and weak to feel strong and intelligent. #and it's so freaking endearing. i love that for these guys so much. #i am just so thankful for people in my life who are taking me seriously and who are helping me to understand i'm worth taking seriously. #wow these tags are long but anyway #guys you don't have to prove anything girls you should never have to dumb yourselves down live long and prosper

[girldewar]

thinkin about the deweys . as always

#there is this trend i have noticed within myself #where whenever it hits finals season i want to avoid doing my finals so so so bad #that i just start coming up with the most unhinged depressing fic concepts ever known by man #today's is a post-trade queer isolation fic centered on the way things weren't perfect in minnesota not by far #but at least connor was a little sure -- a bit mind you nothing crazy or anything #but a little sure that if his teammates didn't already know what was going on with brandon they'd just accepted a certain level of #Weirdness #that gave them a pretty long leash re: what they could get away with without being noticed or ostracized #but now he's on the leafs and he's running into all these new issues he never had to worry about before #they want to know why he's on his phone all the time. they want to know if he has a girlfriend. they want to know about brandon #but not like that of course why would they have any reason to think it was like that. and even if they did think it was like that -- #connor has enough to worry about already without being on sheldon keefe's or auston matthews' or whoever's shitlist for being queer #or for that matter the toronto media's shitlist. and to top it all off he and brandon aren't even in the same country anymore. #not even in the same CONFERENCE #fuck. #bees speaks #ok bye im gonna go stare at this stupid poem for a while #rpf talk #2126

[ofekma]

"how can you be an animorphs fan and support Israel?"

I don't know, how CAN I be the fan of a book series talking about kids being forced to grow up too fast due to being a part of a war that has been going on for longer than they're alive, trying to defend their home against an invading force?

Seeing how this situation affects their mental state, world view and relationships with each other? Not being able to fully trust anyone else because they can turn out to secretly wish for your demise?

How can I be the fan of a series that mirrors the way I grew up, of feeling scared and lost and small but knowing that you have to keep going because there's no other way?

Knowing that the other side has people who are like you, who never really wanted to hurt anyone but are being forced to fight too, who were brainwashed from birth to not see people like you as people?

Knowing that innocents die in war, that cruel, messed up, unjust things happen in wars but not seeing another way forward?

Wanting to save your loved ones who are now being kept hostages?

YEAH I HAVE NO IDEA WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I, AN ISRAELI PERSON, BE AN ANIMORPHS FAN?

#animorphs: there's no black and white but sometimes you have to fight to protect the people you love #people on tumblr: ISRAEL BAD PALESTINE GOOD #Hey remember how every time the animorphs kill a hork bajir controller #they kill both an innocent hork bajir hostage and a yeerk that is threatened with starvation by their superiors if they won't fight? #remember how most taxxons only agreed to collaborate with the yeerks because they feel like being puppets is better than constant hunger? #remember how Serrow only wanted to do something good but ended up causing an intergalactic war? #remember how as early as book 6 Jake didn't blink before boiling alive dozens of helpless yeerks? #remember how the Howelrs who exterminated countless species were merely toddlers playing controlled by a higher being? #REMEMBER HOW ANIMORPHS IS A FUCKING COMPLICATED BOOK SERIES AND EVEN OUR HEROES COMMITED ATROCITIES THAT HAUNTED THEM EVERY DAY? #AND HOW WE STILL ROOTED FOR THEM BECAUSE WE KNEW WHY THEY DID THIS AND WHERE THEY'RE COMING FROM? #HOW MOST OF THEIR ATROCITIES WEREN'T JUST KILLING FOR THE SAKE OF KILLING? #Unlike you know #what Hamas is doing #killing for the sake of killing #sacrificing their own people in the process #brainwashing and treathening their population #Remember how the war is actually a chess game between two larger entities that use everyone else as a peon for the war between themselves? #Hm now that surely sounds familiar #Imagine thinking that a fictional war in a book series for kids is more complicated and morally grey than one in real life #And that you can know everything about it from Twitter and tik tock #Couldn't be me lol

[bardkin]

been doing some internal questioning that boils down to “is it the auADHD or i am plural in some way???”

and i’m. not sure if i want to know the answer. at least not yet.

#ensiger #possibly plural #this post is brought to you by a monoconscious culture post that hit a lot harder than i thought it would #'wait how long have i been me. when did i stop being the other guy' #also a lot of the Dragonheart Collective's essay points in Dissociation. & internal thought voice. #the only point in Identity disturbances that really hit was - #Feeling like you weren't born in that body & that you simply appeared one day inside of it. #like. i sometimes feel like ''I'' is more than one internally. #like i'm One Person in the way a cartoon character can be animated/storyboarded by multiple artists. #does that make sense as like?? a plural thing??? #or is that just the depersonalization & bees in my brain?? #also that like. the 'current me' stepped into my body & 'replaced' whoever used to be here. i have (most) of my memories & shit but just. #i'm not totally sure if this is a 'i have grown and changed since i was a child' or 'i'm a different person in every sense of the word.' #i kind of stewed on this questioning a couple years(?) ago when i was first learning about multiplicity. but nothing ever really came of it #bc digging further into it didn't feel useful. all the stuff i was reading didn't feel like it was lining up with what's going on in here #i've recently been doing some reading on monoconscious & median systems but. #i don't want to act on anything until i Know. or at least until i Know More. #also i'm about 90% sure my kintypes are not headmates/alters/etc. they feel like / similar to my gender & not. ''extra Me's'' so to speak