#you might want to check my works out?

[shadowofaghost5]

Give it up for everybody’s favourite street rat!!!

-

Fanart of Aaron from Fox’s Tounge and Kirin’s Bone, an incredible book by @muffinlance

I worked hard on this an am incredibly proud of how it turned out. If you wanna hear about the process, feel free to check out me rambling in the tags.

#fox’s tongue and kirin’s bone #fanart #i really wasn’t sure how this would work out because i rarely ever draw book characters? But I drew this guy Once and that was it #I went ‘yeah that’s my boy. that works’ #i mostly went with what i envisioned though i did check the first chapter again to see if it said anything contradicting my design #and it did say Aaron had short hair but you know what? I really want him to have a little ponytail #I think he deserves a little ponytail #so i kept the ponytail #i was originally going to draw him with his silly little coat and add a heck ton of details #but the pose didn’t work out #There’s always next time! #with his current clothes his sash i guess is the most important part? #in the first chapter it talks about Aaron’s knife had been clad in black&gold previously #I assume in reference to the Man #Though I might be wrong #i binge-read the book in like three days #the details have escaped me #but yeah I did the sash with those colors because I thought it’d be cool #anyways i believe that’s most of it #i also have a bunch of doodles i made for warmup before this #that i’m also going to share at some point #i hope you like it!

[tianhai03]

you see these three while you're out trick or treating on halloween night wyd

#yea this is the unfinished drawing i tried to do for halloween... i wish i had more time to render it and give it more detail </3 #it looks fine as it is rn and im pretty happy with it but idk i just want to work on it more uuuu #screaming and throwing up if only i managed my time better #anyway <3333 happy halloween everyone! remember to check your candies before you eat them you might find a copy of dmc reboot in them #devil may cry #dante(dmc) #nero(dmc) #vergil(dmc) #allyart #man i keep seeing a lot of like. tiny mistakes and stuff that i want to fix but i CANT bc id end up spending TOO MUCH TIME ON IT #pulling my hair out rn i wish i didnt have school work to worry about

[rareship-rats]

Number one test of character. Show him the rats.

He accepted them. Yay!

#nosferatu #nosferatu 1922 #knorlok #knorlock #herr knock #count orlok #it's a very small fireplace okay? #ignore everything else that might be wrong with this #this one took me 3 days. more than usual 1 or 2 #i'm getting old and slow #I did NOT intend for this to be a finished drawing. wanted to stop at a sketch. but here we are #tried full-on manual shading #the characters are shaded without the use of multiply layers (except for orlok's skin) using just the brushes directly on the flat colors #considering the fact that i forgot how light works. i think i did well enough #the background and the ambient light are still multiply layers though. it would be a lot harder without them. and i'm lazy :P #but check out that fire #eh? #i actually like the desaturated look #also this one's just for fun #i slacked off on this one. i hope you can't see that #in my defense however. the horrors #i had fun making this and that's what counts

[treemaidengeek]

Hey, fellow spoonies! Got a min for a bit of writing that has absolutely transformed my relationship to my chronic illness?

This is from Mindfulness Meditation for Pain Relief by Jon Kabat-Zinn, based on his experiences co-running (?) a clinic specifically for people with severe unmanageable chronic illness & chronic pain. Part of the book is exercises, which weren't hugely impactful for me. But this section I've listened to over and over. It's been a game changer for me. Maybe it'll help you too.

Below the cut bc it's long.

"First, a working definition of mindfulness so we know what we're talking about when we use that word. You can think of mindfulness as pure awareness. In particular, the awareness that arises from paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, without judgment or reaction, to whatever appears in the field of your experience.

You already have awareness. It’s as much a part of being human as our capacity for thinking or for breathing. So you can always ask yourself in any moment: is my awareness of pain, in pain? and then take a look and see. You can also expand this line of investigation to ask yourself, is my awareness of fear afraid? Is my awareness of anger, angry? Is my awareness of sadness, sad? Very revealing and liberating exploration, as we shall experience firsthand.

Of course being non-judgmental and non-reactive sounds like an ideal. But it isn't, really, not in the way we’re talking about it. It's a way of being in relationship to experience, a commitment to--as best we can–suspend our judging for a time, and suspend believing in our judgements as being true.

Of course, we judge everything, and tend to react automatically whenever things are not to our liking. And we can be very emotionally reactive, especially when we're hurting. So as we shall see further on, and in the practices themselves, we just observe the judging and reacting when they arise, and–as best we can–refrain from judging our judging, or reacting to our reactions.

A number of principles, attitudes, and perspectives are important to keep in mind when cultivating a mindful approach to working with chronic pain conditions or any other distressing elements in your life.

Here are seven that are fundamental and bear revisiting and keeping in mind, and listening to again and again, just as with the meditation practices. We will be making use of them every day, and even moment by moment throughout the day.

1. As we said, as long as you’re breathing there is really more right with you than wrong, no matter what is wrong. And our work will involve mobilizing those interior resources of your own inner landscape, of your body and mind, to work for you to improve the quality of your day-to-day and moment-to-moment life.

2. One of those interior resources is the power of the present moment. The power of “now” is enormous, yet mostly we persist in living in the past or in the future, in memory or in constant anticipation, worry, and planning, most of the time. And we never realize and never recognize how powerful and healing it can be to inhabit this moment, the only one we are ever alive in.

So strange as it may sound, it turns out it is very challenging to actually live in the present moment, even though it's the only time we ever really have to do anything: for learning, for growing, for coming to terms with things as they are, for expressing our affection and appreciation for others, for loving. All this takes ongoing practice.

3. Of course we are happy to show up more in the present moment as long as it's exactly to our liking. But it usually isn't anywhere near as good or as pleasant as we would wish it to be. That is true even if we don't have a chronic pain condition that we could see as the cause of all our troubles.

Have you noticed how easy it is to always want things to be different from how they actually are?

We certainly don't want to inhabit the present moment if we don't like it, and we certainly don't like it if we are in significant pain. So we can easily get caught up in trying to distract ourselves and escape from the present moment because it's not to our liking.

4. Our usual options when faced with situations we don't like and wouldn't want anyone to suffer from, are twofold. As we just saw, we can turn away from them and try to ignore them or escape from them as best we can. Or alternatively, we can get caught up in obsessing about our troubles endlessly and feel victimized.

Either way we might (as so many people do) turn to familiar resources at our disposal to dull the pain, such as alcohol or drugs, or food or TV, even if those coping strategies don't work, are addictive, or have terrible consequences that may make our lives worse in the long run.

We might also get into the habit of being irritable, gruff, and angry a good deal of the time, out of our own pain and frustration. Or emotionally withdrawn from others and from life, distant, cut off, in a state of perpetual contraction of both body and mind.

None of these coping strategies make for much happiness and ease of being. Grinning and bearing it isn't much fun. And blaming all our troubles on the pain doesn't actually make anything any better, as we usually come to see at some point or other. This can just further compound our frustration and even despair.

5. There is a third way of dealing with painful experiences, a way of being rather than perpetual doing and forcing. One that involves neither turning away from painful experiences, nor becoming overwhelmed by them. That third way is the way of mindfulness, the way of opening to and befriending our experience, however strange that may sound.

We do this by turning toward what we most fear to feel and opening gradually, over time, and only to the degree that you choose, to the full range of our experiences in any given moment, even when what we are experiencing is highly unpleasant, aversive, and unwanted.

You could think of it as putting out the welcome mat for what is happening. Because whatever it is, it is happening already. Any attempt to turn away is really a denying of your situation, which doesn't help much. And succumbing to resignation, a sense of being defeated, or to depression or perhaps even self-pity will clearly only make matters worse. If we take the turning-away route, we will be turning away from the opportunity to learn from what the pain has to teach us.

If we take the turning-away route, even though it may seem simpler when we are in a depressed mind-state, we may never find openings, new possibilities, new beginnings, new ways of being that are available to us right inside our own circumstances and our own mind and body. We might not discover that we can become stronger and more flexible in the face of whatever it is that we are dealing with, discover new options for relating to what we are carrying – which is the root meaning in Latin of the word “to suffer.” The approach of mindfulness, of turning-toward and opening to our experience – even when it is difficult – can readily lead to new ways of seeing including new possibilities for coming to terms with our situation in the moment, whether we like it or not, whether we want it or not.

This is called resilience, an interior strength we can cultivate through practice. A way to live, and live well, with what life offers up for us: “the full catastrophe,” as Zorba the Greek called it – the human condition itself.

6. This path of mindfulness involves learning to open to experience moment by moment with kindness and compassion towards oneself, whether what you are experiencing in any given moment is pleasant, unpleasant, or neither pleasant nor unpleasant. And without judging the experience as good if we like it, bad if we don't like it, and boring if we don't have any particular feeling one way or another.

As we said earlier, that doesn’t mean we won’t be judging plenty. But we can form the intention to suspend our hair-trigger tendency to judge everything according to whether we like it or not, and also our tendency to react emotionally and fairly automatically in a similar way : with acquisitiveness, even greediness, if we like it and therefore always want it to last or want more of it; and with rejection, anger, hatred, or disappointment if we don’t like it and want it to go away.

So non-judging and emotional balance in the face of challenging circumstances will be factors we can cultivate in working mindfully with our moment-to-moment experience–not as ideals we try to impose on ourselves or strive to grab hold of, but as potentials already within ourselves that we can learn to recognize and bring into greater awareness when they do arise.

Over time and with practice, we may find that being less emotionally reactive and less harshly judgemental, and kinder and more accepting of ourselves and our moments–however they may be–becomes more and more our default setting, rather than anger, resentment, fear, self-loathing, and contraction in both the mind and the body. And since these kinds of contractions of mind and body usually increase the intensity of our pain, they just compound our misery and suffering. This is one easy way we can exert significant positive influence over our pain.

7. None of this has to do with making anything go away. We’re not trying to suppress our pain or “control” it, or suppress our emotional state. We’re not trying to fix anything at all–even though we may want to, or feel helpless and resentful that medicine cannot fix what we feel is the matter. On the contrary, we are just looking for a place to sit or to stand, a momentary refuge within which we can contemplate the present moment, and perhaps discover some respite right in the middle of things as they are, however they are. Amazingly, this stance of what I often call non-doing or just being can very quickly lead to things changing–since things are always changing, even our pain and our relationship to it.

But sometimes if we are too stuck in our thought-habits, in the same old ruts regarding our condition, desperate to get somewhere else or fix something you think might be broken, or else make it go away, our very desire and fixation may lead to its just staying around longer, as if we were actually feeding those energies, as if we ourselves are locking ourselves in and preventing our world from changing. The world and our bodies are always changing. That is a natural law: the law of impermanence. Everything changes. Why would we be an exception? So sometimes patience and forbearance may be called for, and good strategies for allowing things to change and even heal on their own."

#jon kabat zinn #spoonie #mindfulness #coping strategies #chronic illness #chronic pain #pain management #mental health #I just have the audiobook so I've made my best guess at kabat zinn's punctuation #I'm not affiliated with him or anything I just found his work super helpful and want to share #if it seems helpful to you you might consider checking it out from your library to hear/read more and to help him out as a writer #this is not mine! #in case that's not obvious

[bloobydabloob]

Is there a reason ur drawings kinda look like someone stretched them in some direction. Not in a mean way. It's very silly imo /pos

Thank you, I’m glad you like it. I take inspiration from artists like @tostyart (twt) @robert_valley (insta) jasonlupas (twt) and several other artists, who do the same thing. I think it looks great. There’s no deeper reason sadly… just think it looks cool.

#third ask in a row about the skew. Hahaha #I get why some people might not like it #I love it though. I think it’s sooo sick #I deleted yesterday’s ask because I didn’t want to clog my page with asks but I’ll reiterate #I don’t think that imperfect art should be fixed or corrected #I struggle more specifically with rigidity in my art #I have a tendency to overwork the shapes in my art to the point where it’s just… stiff as hell #So I think also the skew helps disguise that a little. Maybe I’m a cheater #But anyways #I really like skewiff or quote unquote wonky looking art. #I love art and I love beginner artists and I love shakey lines and imperfections #I think it’s soo awesome. #I dig all art to be honest. Really honestly I just like art. I’m rambling here haha #but no… Some of the people listed get insecure about the asymmetry or whatever in their art. #I don’t think anyone should be ashamed of their art as long as they are doing something they enjoy and improving #without wonky art and without weird looking stuff #we wouldn’t improve. That’s what really sucks #But I guess that’s not why I do it. I wish I could do the skew on accident dude. #Please check out @tostyart by the way #genuinely probably one of my favorite artists of all time #I think you will enjoy their stuff. It’s so different to everything else and their characters are wonderful #they have such wonderful line work and are so great at working with composition and perspective. #Everything I aspire to be #Sorry for tag rambling. I did this exact thing yesterday too #don’t give me the opportunity to talk about art. I’ll never shut up. #still not on topic though #TLDR : I think it looks cool

[bunnihearted]

🧸🧃⛈️

#so like late last night i started to get rlly panicky nd upset #bc it's v much looking like im gnna fail my english class. i need to be done next wednesday which means i need to work rlly hard #nd go to school extra to have a presentation nd do tests etc etc #nd im still in pain after surgery nd im rlly depressed bc of my physical health so i just dont think i can be strong nd make it this time #in my almost breakdown i wrote a self referral to the clinic/psych department for personality disorders.... #it usually takes them around 2 days to answer you but this time at like 8am they sent me a message AND called me #(i think. im not certain it's them bc i havent checked the voice message or the reply lmaooo. but it should be them) #the thing abt having avpd is now im immediately stressed af nd i regret sending it. i donr wanna check their reply #also it might be bc i wrote a lot abt killing myseld etc etc nd now im worried theyre gnna be like girlie get checked in!!!! lol T-T #i just needed to be very clear nd act frsutrted nd desperate bc i have never gotten treatment in 10yrs nd im TIRED!!!! #my initial reaction is to avoid at all costs nd just pull my covers above my head nd pretend like i dont have to check their reply lol #i dont wannaaaaaa. i take it back i dont want help!!! its fine i dont wanna try or work hard let me rot #why did i do this!!!!! fml. anyway... i'll check later today bc since its early i can still use the excuse of sleepinf thru the days #many ppl working w mentally ill ppl understand that it's normal actually to switch the day around nd sleep during the days sksksk #but also i have no idea how many typos r in here bc im not wearing my glasses whoopsie #yeah.. anyway im gonna try to go back to sleep nd not think abt it #hopefully it wasnt even them calling 🤡 i know i HAVE to check later but not now i can take a few hours #then today i need to figure out if im gnna make one last attempt w my eng class or give up idk what to do

[dr-lizortecho]

you come off like a raging antisemite. Who in their right mind sides with a terrorist organization like hamas? You really need to think and research about what they’ve done to innocent Jews and other Israelis before just blindly posting “woke” crap.

I promise I’m not blindly posting and reblogging- I am following along through trusted sources. And if there’s anything I’ve reblogged that is incorrect feel free to reach out with your sources claiming otherwise! Because I’m not an antisemite am anti Zionist and don’t support genocide under any circumstances, or the murder of children.

#that’s all I have to say in the matter #because I fail to see how not supporting mass murder equates antisemitism #if anything besides my support of Palestine makes you believe this please reach out to me! #cause ik I suffer a lot of unexamined biases from growing up in the culture I did #and I am always working towards being the most open and respectful that I can be #anon asks #I only am responding to this to invite you to correct me in any misinformation I might have accidentally spread (though I check everything) #and incase there is/was anything else that I have done that comes across as such #but if all you want to do is come here and leave hate then I won’t continue to respond

[gxlden-angels]

Hello! I apologize if this is a nosy question, but what is the silly feelings wheel app you were talking about in a previous post? My therapist and I have been working on identifying feelings but I still very much rely on a list of feeling words to have any idea what I’m feeling, so it could be a helpful resource. No worries if you don’t want to share, just thought I would ask :)

It's called How We Feel! I'm not sure if it's available on all devices yet, but it's on ios and the google play store for sure.

I've been using it for about a year. It's more of a chart than a wheel but people usually recognize the wheel better so that's what I call it. When you first start it has a 10-part tutorial about emotional acceptance and regulation, then it has suggestions for each category of emotion. You can access both at any time tho after those first 10 days.

It has a share option so you can have friends, which has been great for me cause it prompts me to check on friends and them to do the same for me. It allows you to just respond with a little emoji in like a "I'm here for you" little notification to your friend, or you can reach out to your friend on your own. Its really helped me cause I'm bad at reaching out when I need support so to me and I'm bad about taking on other's problems even when I can't handle it so being able to send a little emoji instead to make sure my friends know I'm there if they need me and them doing the same has been great

#I know I sound like I'm a being sponsored by this app but it's genuinely been incredible for my mental health #whenever I get frustrated in therapy now about not being able to describe a feeling my therapist asks me to think about the chart #he'll ask me what color I feel and go 'good! do you want to narrow it down from there or continue with just that?' and it's so helpful #I have such terrible alexithymia from both cptsd and autism #it took a year of working with him to even recognize when I felt angry or hungry or sick #my friends and I check in on each other regularly now but it feels less intrusive #cause it feels like indirectly reaching out so it's less pressure to directly respond #and it might not feel the same for everyone since it could be jarring to get a notification saying friend feels miserable #but now that I've gotten used to it I don't feel like I need to solve their problems and make them feel better #Like they might be miserable because they're sick! So I check in and they say they're sick but okay and I don't feel the impulse to solve #like I would if I just didn't see them then saw them in person and saw they looked miserable #I don't blame myself or feel like I personally need to fix everything because I know they felt like that from an outside source I can't #control but I can certainly help them if they want! It's their choice tho and I don't feel bad if they don't/I can't #I feel less need to control my emotions/force them to be positive like I used to cause nobody feels positive 24/7 and I can see it #I don't feel the need to be politely content like I did in church because no one can be 24/7. I've attempted to get my family to start but #they're still stuck in needing to not be openly negative. It also helps me accept that negative feelings don't last forever #Someone feeling miserable because they're sick eventually puts they feel tired. Then chill and I know they feel better and I feel better too #Anyways thanks for listening to me ramble about my silly little feelings wheel app I hope it helps you like it helped me anon <3

[waywardsalt]

Hi! I hope you’re doing good in life.

What do you think of a phantom hourglass remake? Tbh I don’t know how they could remake it without basically remaking it from the ground-up. It would probably play more like windwaker, which I see as a both a good and bad thing. On the one hand, if it was more like windwaker a lot more people would probably play and it would be more popular since I know the touch controls were a turn off for most people for both Spirit Tracks and Phantom hourglass. But on the other hand, remaking it to be more like windwaker would make the game lose some of it’s previous identity. Like, Phantom hourglass was so unique because of the touch controls and the puzzles you can make and solve by having two screens and touch controls. And it was so nifty and handy to be able to write notes on your map. Idk, I still would like it to be remade in general even if it ends up a basically different game, but I wouldn’t change the story or the characters, especially Linebeck. The only other change I would make is the music. Phantom hourglass had rather weak themes, mainly because they re-used the same theme for the islands and the dungeons. The only songs that were really good were the few orginal tracks made for the game, so Linebeck’s theme, Oshus’s theme, both Bellum boss battle themes and the and that music that plays when you first follow the Ghost Ship. But what would you want out of a phantom hourglass remake?

Hey, I’m doing good, and I hope you are too!

I’ve thought a bit about a possible Phantom Hourglass remake, but not too much recently. I don’t really know if I’d want one, since you’d lose a lot of what really makes it special, and you can still play it through other means. I’m personally fond of the graphics and the music- yes, even the dungeon theme has grown on me- so I don’t really want a remake too badly, especially since I fear any additions/changes they might make with story or characters in a remake. The touch controls make it, and playing it on pc recreates that feeling decently well, but I don't think it'll be just the same if you had to control it with joysticks or anything.

Not to mention, there's so much emphasis on having the two screens, too, not just for map stuff, but almost every single boss had a mechanic related to the top screen! I have no fucking clue how you'd replicate that very well on something like the switch without just fucking with the mechanics altogether.

I would kill to hear some of Phantom Hourglasses tracks be orchestrated or otherwise rearranged in a higher quality. I wouldn't want any of the more notable themes altered in any way, no adding or removing of melodies and only very very small changes to the instrumentation, but I think it'd be neat to see what could be done with dungeon themes. I think a while back I had a fleeting desire to write some short tracks for each dungeon, with some ideas like mostly using instruments heard in Bellum's themes for the dungeons while each individual one gets a leading instrument unique to and reflective of the dungeon, while the Ghost Ship maybe gets a song that's a bit of a expanded version of the fog theme, while the Temple of the Ocean King could have slightly different themes the further in you got, starting with instruments more common to Oshus's theme or the great sea theme, while the further in you got the more instruments from Bellum's theme would be heard, plus some harpsichord thrown in for the hell of it.

Leave the original dungeon theme for stuff like the minor pyramids and some larger cave areas, idk. It's grown on me.

I think the only story rearranging I'd want is mayyyyybe unfridging Tetra? You could very easily shuffle some things around with her and just not damsel her for the whole game and honestly it'd still go off perfectly without a hitch. But you'd still have to deal with the World of the Ocean King being a whole other world, so either bring her and her crew in and have them as wandering ship npcs (the better idea) or just leave them out (not a good idea) but either way it's better than what they actually did. I just don't think I'd want it to switch to Tetra being a major reoccurring character tbh, the main character dynamics in PH are good as they are.

I think I like Phantom Hourglass too much as it is to really want a remake at all. I'd rather we get something like an anime adaptation. That's what I think about more. Give me animated Phantom Hourglass with some fun takes on the dungeons and fights and some fun slice of life stuff with the group between the islands what I want is a Phantom Hourglass anime

#asks #zeldanamikaze #salty talks #loz #legend of zelda #phantom hourglass #kinda just boils down to like. i kinda want it to remain untouched with nothing added or removed if that makes sense #different themes for the dungeons would be rlly cool. harpsichord for deeper ocean king temple floors bc its where you meet linebeck #also vague foreshadowing? as an aside how many other loz songs have harpsichord in it im very curious to know #also. i say i dont mind the dungeon theme while also not really minding my tinnitus so also take that in mind maybe. brain go brrrrrr #i think adding tetra in to the main crew of ph would kinda be a bit much and also maybe not add very much. fyi i have not played ww #but i feel like it'd almost be adding another ciela cuz shed support link and be more barbed and bold with a side of less morally upstandin #so i dont really think she'd being much new to the ph crew table and i wouldnt want her there in a remake cuz they might pull the #goddess blood card and i really really like how ph has fuck all to do with hyrule or any of that nonsense #sorry this took so long btw. i dont think much abt a ph remake so i dont have a lot of notes #additions? idk add more rooms to linebecks ship. let us poke around in a few areas. maybe potion storage. give link a room #let us poke around in linebeck's room when possible. put smth fun in there. pull a wilds era and give him a journal for us to check out #what they did with tetra kills me (but not too much since i dont rlly have thoughts on tetra) bc you could just remove her entirely #and the story would still work really well anyways. holy character fridging batman #idfk. give us a silly loz dating game. make linebeck an option. thats what i wanna see

[arctic-hands]

I learned what a bullet journal was by watching a few YouTube artists set theirs up and my algorithm spiraled out of control from there so I guess I have all the bujo influencers to thank for getting into it because it has been a godsend so far on my third attempt, but damn if the over emphasis on aesthetic over the actual practical organizational aspect of it doesn't rankle me a bit

[thirty rambling tags later] huh. I didn't know there was a thirty tag limit in all the years I've been on tumblr. Whatevs I can't copy paste the tags onto the main body because I'm on mobile and I don't want to write it out again so I'll just summarize the last bit here:

If you are browsing the bujo tag because you feel bullet journaling will help you but you feel intimated because you don't think you can make it look pretty, or that the bullet journal method could never help you because it looks exhausting or the inspo you see doesn't cover what you need, I am pleading with you to ignore all the pretty inspiration, take the most common and even original Ryder Carroll formats and spreads with a grain of salt and eliminate or change them as needed, and talk to people who have similar needs than you even if they don't bujo and suss out what's important to keep track of. My bujo is eighty percent important medical bullshit, because that's what I need more than a book tracker. You prolly have your own unique needs. And hell, if you want a book tracker then add a booktracker. It's your bujo to format and plan out.

So like if you want to start bullet journaling, go to Michaels and get a seven dollar Artist's Loft dot grid journal. Or a binder you have left over from school years past and print out your own dot grid paper if you have enough ink and paper and printer that can do double sided (Kevin McLeod's site I forget the name of has free adjustable dot and other grids I've used), or buy a pack of 8.5x11 dot grid paper, and grab a crappy hole punch that just barely does the job. Get yourself a nice pen you think looks and feels nice in your hand and on the paper–or if that doesn't matter to you go get pack of Bics or even pencil if that's what you prefer (I use a pencil for things I can't have be permanent, like temporary meds or the dates of yearly vaccines). If you're twitchy about messing up then get the cheapest wite out they have (but don't worry about messing up especially if you're not even showing it off to anybody). A cheap yellow highlighter if you think it'll help. And a ruler if straight lines are important to you. I lost mine so I just wobble my lines now I don't care (and it's marginally easier to get a line adjacent to straight with a dot grid)

Anyway. If you want to bullet journal but don't know where to start or how to make it pretty or how to make it work for your needs, just try it in the cheapest way possible and rearrange the guts of the bujo as you see fit. And don't worry about the optics as long as you can make sense of your methods and writing.

(and for the love of God if you're bipolar don't make an hourly mood tracker yes our moods can and will fluctuate throughout the day but goddamn was that a bitch to log and abandoned a few weeks after inking it out)

#i see this with in regular journaling/diary circles too #people saying 'i want to start a bujo/diary but I'm not good enough at art ☹️' #like more power to you if you can make it pretty but it shouldn't be the primary emphasis especially with how useful it is #(it's especially depressing with just regular diaries and journals because like. you're under no obligation to share that shit with anybody) #I'm on my third bujo attempt because i got overwhelmed with my first two because i didn't know how to customize it with me and my needs #the most i got about symptom tracking was like a weekly layout checking off if the criteria was hit #and mood tracking was like daily smiley or frowny face in the corner #like my siblings in planning that is not enough for my chronically ill bipolar ass lol #i went way overboard my first attempt with just mood tracking. i planned it out HOURLY. every week #and that got overwhelmingly tedious and i use overwhelmingly deliberately. so i just stopped mood tracking #and then the whole thing got overwhelming so i stopped it entirely #gave it another shot because my method of scheduling things and symptom tracking was to write appointments and symptoms on post its #and pray they didn't fall off and i could remember where i even put them #and i see a lot of doctors so that was a LOT post its to keep track of #so i did another bujo but had the same problem as lack of resources and inspo and how to make it work for my needs #plus future logs were hard to parse AND i often felt too tired to lay out a new month or two every time #so like there were just whole months and the symptoms and appointments within just missing and i might as well not even have a bujo #so i stopped that one too #FINALLY after a little bit more watching Ryder Carroll and looking at prefab medical planners that were still woefully inadequate #AND MORE IMPORTANTLY talking to my fellow chronically ill. mentally ill. disabled. or all three. friends on what i should jot down #i finally got a system that worked for me thus far #i got rid of even staples like future logs and just laid out a monthly calendar format because that was easier FOR ME #and i laid out the year in advance so i could still have the scheduling part of i was too tired to do entire layouts at the beginning of the #month #my mood tracker was merged with my symptom tracker and turned into a symptoms *list* #with a section for every specialist i see. mood stuff just went under psych/therapist #also i switched to a binder format instead of a bound book for even more flexibility #i can easily remove things i no longer need. i can rearrange what goes in what section. i can easily add more to a section before the next #bujo #bullet journal

[rotisseries]

actually now that the clique thing is a few days old, i didn't really get involved for a reason and I don't feel super strongly in either direction

but I will say that like. while there's certainly a problem of less interaction on the fanworks/posts from less popular blogs, this isn't really a byler exclusive issue? this happens in most fandoms these days, interaction is just on a decline in general which IS. a problem but not really a "byler tumblr is cliquey" problem. in regards to any actual cliques I wouldn't say they don't exist but I don't think it's "the popular kids" themselves doing this. I don't know if the rest of you have some other bloggers in mind that I don't know about, but as someone who is mutuals with a fair amount of who I thought were the popular blogs, they are always very nice and welcoming to me, and actually easy to talk to once you just. see them and talk to them as a normal human and not an omnipotent fandom god. so this is all to say that if there's a clique issue I think it's from the outside. I think maybe people are perceiving these bigger blogs who all happen to be friends as these untouchable idols in fandom and it's. making it cliquey from the outside. like are they a clique or have you just convinced yourself they wouldn't want anything to do with you and isolated this group from everyone else. this isn't to say that people can't be assholes of course just that I don't think any of this is intentional

#I think a lot of post interaction problems are also just probably coming from the fact that I don't think anyone checks the tag anymore #I certainly don't. I just keep up with what my mutuals are posting #and my mutuals are posting their work and they're sharing their friend's work or the work their friend shared from someone else #so if you're a little known blogger it can just be harder because. your posts just aren't making it as far you have a few followers #and they have even fewer. and so unless you get an anomaly popularity boost it'll be harder for a post to get traction #also “it's a clique bc all the popular blogs are friends and only associate with each other” well they have been friends for months #or a year now. and also probably were not as popular when that friendship started #so it's more like. a friend group forms and then when one of you gets a popularity boost so do the others bc you're friends #and then next thing you know it's a friend group of popular bloggers #anyway. all this to say get out and make some friends! either I'm right and this will actually fix the problem #or there really is a clique in which case why tf would you want to associate with them anyway #but genuinely this is rich coming from me actually known to most as godawful at talking to people irl #but it's really so simple to make tumblr friends it just requires you to be a little brave and genuine #if you see someone posting a lot of cool stuff follow them!! and then get in their askbox and talk to them about something #if they have an au you really like talk to them about that if they have some music they've been posting about check it out #and tell them what you thought! #just like. be friendly and open they'll probably respond in kind and next thing you know you have a really cool friend #anyway if you're one of my mutuals and you saw me like a post the other day or whatever that might feel contrary to this #well the other day I was just watching things go down lmao #I didn't care what any posts said I was busy with my own discourse lol #(and also if you're ANOTHER mutual wondering wtf this post is about don't worry about that) #idk I think I just. haven't really witnessed cliquey behavior but I see posts about this with enough notes #that sometimes I think. well you guys gotta be experiencing SOMETHING so idk. idk #I guess this is another “some people just have friends” post #anyway I think a good thing to remember here also is that we're arguing about popularity on Tumblr Dot Com. brother we are bloggers #and we're calling it cliques. like a highschool movie

[stars-self-ships]

All of my life it's been heartbreak weather

Thinking to myself it won't get better

It can be so lonely in this city

But it feels different when you're with me.

🖤💚🖤💚🖤

#F/O #Romantic F/O #F/O Community #Self-Ship Community #Self-Ship Art #Night in the Woods #NiTW #「Bea: You Croc My World」 #🖤💚🖤 #Y'all mind if I (DRAWS MORE BEACAH ART) #Given the complexity of this particular piece... I'm surprised on how quickly I was able to draw it! #I had the idea of an art piece featuring my NiTW sona sleeping with Bea in the comfort of her arms earlier this week #I drew out one or two conceptual sketches out to see if it was something within my skillset and got to work straight after #Something I wanted to focus on in this piece was continuing to practice NiTW's trademark simplistic and lineless style #On the surface it might not LOOK like much #But a lot of thought and work went into everything looking natural enough to where you COULD see this in game #Another small detail I'd like to point out is my NiTW sona... notice anything different? #She now has MUCH longer hair! I also got rid of the fluff she had on her chin from her previous design to look more feminine #I noticed that in Micah Huxley's intro post that I addressed her with he/him pronouns rather than she/her... #... so consider this her transition! I'll definitely be drawing her in her entirety with her new features in check soon enough #With design specifics out of the way... this is a scenario that I think about a lot #Just being nestled up against Bea in her loving arms... #There's hardly a single other thought out there that compares to how lovey and comfy it makes me feel 🖤💚🖤

[sysig]

The uh

The first play session went rather well

#The Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe #WPTSP #Yes I played for five hours at one stint and got almost half the achievements what of it #I wanted to - even though I had just - replay all of the endings from the HD Remix - not counting the Real Person Ending #Because I see it as the perfect bookend - Freedom to start Real Person to finish and that's that for the play session #I didn't even get that far I got all the way through the 14ish endings from the HD Remix and then went to check out the new stuff and #It's so much more than I could've guessed. I'm so glad I stayed away from spoilers #Yes of course there were the things I couldn't avoid and momentarily had a ''Ah yes'' or ''Of course'' but the rest #I had to take a break to eat and stretch and not be Stanley for a bit but I still fully intend to jump back in after a short rest #Also some things from the new content I think I'm gonna need to Talk about later lol - not in a bad way!! Just some Realization™ things #Not entirely divorced from Davey's other work The Beginner's Guide - I can tell already this might be an emotional reset piece someday #It's been very interesting and endearing :) I 've found myself smiling so hard my cheeks hurt and then it falls and I feel it #I've also been taking a lot of excited screenshots lol ♪ But not in Certain areas >:3c If you've played I'm sure you know #Very Respectful lol #The Stanley Parable #WPVG

[izzy-b-hands]

I really wish blocking someone meant their stuff wouldn’t wind up on your dash at all. Like I understand why it doesn’t, but. still.

Actually, I just need to get better abt checking source urls before I reblog. I try to be mindful, but now and again I Forget and have only myself to blame lmao

#text post #I would love to reblog their art and be supportive in that way at least but tbh #every time I accidentally reblog it I remember checking out their blog and seeing how they talked abt fans that like Izzy and the izcourse #and it's like oh no that's right you hate ppl like me and ur art might be gorg but maybe we just shouldn't interact #they do their thing and I'll be over here doing mine #what really needs to happen is I need to remember to check urls on fandom art to make sure it isn't any of the folks I had to block lmao #but sometimes I get excited bc the art is genuinely lovely and i do like it and think the person is v talented! #and then i forget to check and it's only after scrolling my dash that i see my reblog and the url and go 'oh. fuck. that's right. damnit.' #it's a weird feeling to be like yes I want this person to have fun and make gorgeous art but also it seems #they've made it p clear how they feel abt folks like me and so maybe they would prefer i just fuck off #which i tried to do by blocking!! and yet. here we are #i delete the reblogs whenever this happens so they don't have me in their notes but #i do hope they know their art is lovely and I appreciate their hard work even if we wouldn't otherwise get along with each other #idek why I'm blogging abt this I guess bc I feel like usually it's either or online? like u either hate each other or u don't #but I don't hate the folks who sent shit to me or the folks who condoned it i just wish i had found a way to get along with them instead #as useless a wish as that probably is #and i don't talk abt it a lot but it really bugs the fuck outta me sometimes that we can't just start over and try to interact generally #no messages no trying to be friends just reblog from them if u like and otherwise ignore each other #which has been a thing that's worked fairly okay in other fandoms tho things have happened in others to change how workable it was #but for some reason in this one i feel like im just always walking on eggshells to interact w/anyone bc it feels like everyone is waiting #for someone else to say something they vaguely disagree with and instead of just like. blocking and moving on w/the fandom experience #it turns into a massive mess that even if ur on the fringes of it all you still get pulled into or sent shit and just. #idk it doesn't matter bc ultimately none of this does but dang it the show has been special to me and hits all my special interests #and it's hard to let go and accept that there's no changing how things went and how they are and how this fandom experience for me is often #very fucking lonely even when i'm bursting at the seams to share and to hear from others what they think abt anything and everything w/it #no one is gonna read this tag essay lmao pls scroll on

[someone-else-entirely]

Today was an Adventure:

-ordered alcoholic beverage online a couple days ago, culminating in me running out into the wet street without shoes to catch the UPS truck

-impulse bought a heart-shaped mini Bundt cake maker (not just a pan, but a MAKER - you plug it in and pour in the batter and it cooks the cake for you)

-also impulse bought Lindoor truffles whose flavor was listed as "dark strawberry" and I know that that's just dark chocolate with a strawberry filling but "dark strawberry" sounds amazing as a concept

#gonna tell the Ordering Alcohol Online saga in the tags #mostly for my own sake/posterity #so I wanted to buy a bottle of a particular alcoholic beverage as part of a Valentine's day gift #but they don't sell it around here so I had to order it #now of course you have to show an ID and sign for the package when you receive it on account of alcohol #but I live on the third floor of my apartment and the doorbells don't work #so I had a distinct feeling I was going to miss the delivery #and I TOOK EVERY PRECAUTION #before making the order I called the company and asked if they could call or text me upon arrival #and they were like ''well we work with UPS etc. so it's up to them but try sending us an email about it it might work'' #so I made the order and sent the email #yesterday I popped down to the business on the first floor and was like ''hey I'm ordering alcohol'' #''if they knock on the door would you be able to sign for it?'' #the person was like ''well I'm here from 8 to 4 so if it arrives in that time then sure'' #today I see an email: order is out for delivery #THE EMAIL IS IN MY PROMOTIONS FOLDER MIND YOU. I WOULDN'T HAVE FOUND IT IF I WASN'T LOOKING CLOSELY #so I'm compulsively checking the tracking page all day #it says it's supposed to arrive at 7 pm #4 pm comes and goes and no dice #I leave a post-it note on the door: ''dear deliveryperson the doorbells don't work please call/text the number on the back of this note'' #6 o clock rolls around. I am still compulsively checking #and then in the middle of watching a Brennan Lee Mulligan video with my bf I compulsively check one more time #''delivery was attempted'' #so I hightail it downstairs in the hopes I can catch the UPS people #I don't even stop to put on shoes #I open the door; no one's there but I see the UPS truck across the street #I run out onto the Very Wet sidewalk in my socks #wait for a break in the oncoming cars and jaywalk straight to the truck #it's empty #I sit on a nearby low wall and wait until I see a couple guys in UPS uniforms coming around the corner

[gachaparadise]

ahhh the Penacony leaks are really coming in now.

*chuckles* I'm in danger.

#i keep going back and forth about if i'm skipping Ratio. I was 100% going for him but now. looking at whats coming #I like Sunday and Robin and Boothill and Gallagher and Misha and Aventurine and DUKE INFERNO?!? #okay. i just saw that Aventurine might be sustain unit. i NEED one of those so bad. #my accounts gonna be completely fucked if i don't get a good support sometime soon. so like. that moves him WAY up my priorities list #and moves Ratio down :( still dunno exactly what he does waiting for official release to make final decisions #but. if he's really an imaginary dps. i might... *dies a little bit* skip him #i just!!! i have DH!!! i WANT to use DH! he's my favourite character in the damn game! #and >_> is Ratio going to have story relevance? i thought Argenti would get more then just a companion quest but he hasn't #and that kinda... bums me out? i like the meet a character THEN roll for them not the other way around. i like character who matter plotwis #A!NY!WAY! putting that aside. i might just go for the 50/50 and take what i get. just to smooth out my pity if nothing else #i don't have most of the standard pool so chances are *knocks on wood* i'll have something new to work with #and like we are getting an absolute BARRAGE of hard skip banners coming up after him. #i do not care for these women at all. extremely mid designs i SLEEP #(except for the judge she fucks but. jades are tight right now honey im sorry!!) #so. i've got a little but of time to save afterwards #post: misc #game: honkai sr #these tags are long and disjointed but its *checks clock* almost 2:30 am so. i'm a bit. you know. #i could save this draft for tomorrow and edit into something resembling a human's train of thought instead of word vomit but #i kinda wanna capture the moment. this is how i saw the leaks. the essence of desperation of a f2p. aahhh gacha my beloved.