#you can't speedrun that

[bedlamsbard]

current Star Wars has this interesting problem of feeling both overly connected (everything has to be intertwined, you need to know all the things that have ever happened) and extremely disconnected (we have never heard of major [character/event/institution] in our lives), which gets even weirder when it’s happening in the same book/show/movie/comic.  like Mando relying so heavily on cameos but also essentially pretending 99% of the events and characters of TCW and Rebels don’t exist, even when they’re relevant.  and especially with past retcons (*cough* Caleb and Depa in TBB *cough*) it makes it hard to take a good faith read on anything: like, are you not acknowledging previous media because you’re about to retcon it?  is it just not actually relevant to the story you’re telling?  are the creators unaware of previous thing?  oh wait but you’ve made the plot of this episode dependent viewer knowing something absolutely critical about previous thing --

it’s just REALLY disorienting.

current Marvel has a similar but not identical problem, and I do genuinely think Marvel’s better at handling it than Star Wars, having been in both fandoms.  (if nothing else, I respect that MCU writers/directors will just flat out say they haven’t seen previous installments or that they decided not to go XYZ route that was set up six movies back.  obviously that is not ideal, but hey, at least they’re honest about it.)  Marvel is conceptually smaller than Star Wars, which I think really, really helps; they’re working on a smaller scale, where Star Wars is very, very spread out.  (except when it’s not, which takes us back to the original problem.)  the MCU also has the benefit of not working over multiple media; yes, there are the prequel comics to a lot of the films, but they don’t actually expect most viewers to read them; every time the MCU relies on viewers having read the comics (not the tie-in comics, the actual Marvel comics) it does some weird stuff to the film/show.  I know people talk about the MCUification of Star Wars and I disagree with that pretty strongly, but I’m not quite sure how to articulate it.

#I think the thing people forget about the mcu in 2023 is that MARVEL DID THE WORK #that's what gets me every time I do a phase 1 rewatch #(and if you haven't done one recently I recommend doing one) #you can't speedrun that #everyone wants to speedrun it but you can't speedrun that #though that's a slightly different thing even than the other stuff #hell marvel tries to speedrun it in phase 4 and you just...cannot #but they've also got other stuff going on #it's fascinating on a technical level #bedlam watches star wars #bedlam watches the mcu

[brucewaynehater101]

I'm bad at math, but is Bruce theoretically 38 years old when he goes into the time stream?

Hear me out (and canon likes to fluncate their ages, so this is my best guess without trying to account for birthdays):

Bruce becomes the legal guardian of 9 year old Dick when he's 23. That's a 14 year difference.

Jason becomes Robin when Dick leaves at 18. Jason is 13. That's a five year difference.

Jason dies at 15, and Tim becomes Robin at 13. That's a two year difference.

The age difference between Tim and Bruce would thus be 21 years.

Tim becomes Red Robin to find Bruce at 17.

That means that Bruce had to be 38, right? Why was I imagining him closer to 50?

Adopting so many kids must have aged him

#tim was 2-3 when he watched the graysons fall #jason would have been 17 when he attacked to at titan tower #this would make dick 24 when his dad dies and he has to take up the batman mantle he never wanted #UtRH is more tragic if you think about how jason wasnt even an adult #i do love the parallels of 23 year old bruce being a father to 9 year old dick and 24 year old dick being a father to 10 year old damian #also it's definitely the continued exposure to crime and violence that gave bruce his stress lines and grey hair (or jason dying) #this is all theoretical anyways because DC writes its own rules for how to math ages #dc universe #dc comics #bruce wayne #tim drake #jason todd #dick grayson #the consequences of dc being vague on their ages is that means the characters speedrun all their trauma and can't breath through it #they are all so young

[tapakah0]

I'M SORRY I don't like to put something little mine with the great stories I love so much but *inhales* @somerandomdudelmao, @kathaynesart, are you okay with doing this???? *Puts you both in the "Bucket of suffering"*

#rottmnt #cass apocalyptic series #somerandomdudelmao #replica #kathaynesart #life of violence era #BUT WITHOUT jokes I JUST CAN'T DESCRIBE HOW MUCH EMOTIONS I GET FROM YOUR COMICS #THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU #I mean you're the reason I can stay up all night drawing something or wake up veeeery early just to look if there's an update #**** I'm being clingy again sorry #I've got enough powers and gotta speedrun animatic because I feel like after these 2 chapters I'll need to start something bigger... #Replica my sunshine I'm waiting for opportunity to catch this sparks of joy to do something for you

[zeeckz]

#took me a literal year to figure out this one but you can't imagine what a speedrun i just did #which is also the reason i didn't paint him w his canvas shoes. i trusted my very rough sketch and assumed: formal suit. formal shoes. #i was already halfway trhu w them. so. #csm #chainsaw man #chainsaw man aki #aki hayakawa

[bragganhyl]

*clears throat* The Watcher is a really good protagonist character.

Like honestly, when you think about it, it's really astounding that this series has the same blank slate character throughout the series and yet you can flesh them out thoroughly and give them an arc that effectively and dynamically arches over multiple installments. There aren't a lot of game series' out there that manage to pull this off this well

#hablaty #hell some games can't even flesh out their blank slate pc in the one game they're in #not naming names bc i could name several #tbh the one other game that comes to mind rn that attempts this #is mássz effekt but a) you don't get nearly as much variety in either character creation or conversations #and b) ...mássz effekt 2 does very little with sepörd only for mássz effekt 3 to speedrun the character development 2 skipped #so yeah ngl i feel like these games have a chokehold on me for this alone #and that is not counting the rest of the characters or the worldbuilding or the plot #these games are just so good y'all just *clenches fist* they're so good

[shadeswift99]

Current thought: the Genuine Dismay in Iskall's voice when Beef suggested building his house interior instead of and not in addition to the attic room. I did not know a guy could express "D:" out loud so clearly but he Did

#iskall #vintagebeef #just when i think they're going to stop the bit they Get Worse #losing it #they are so. and iskall specifically is SO. #this would've been a perfectly normal rivalry if it was up to Beef but Iskall said no. toxic yaoi time #/hell /j /whatever but you can't mock me you know I'm right lmao #they're speedrunning divorce #already fighting over custody of Lemon and Lime #it's so funny i hope they're having fun

[finalgirlsamwinchester]

part of the many many bits of heartbreak over the jack arc is just sam and dean replicating their childhood dynamics from different places. jack is now sam. sam is now dean, jack's ally but at the end of the day, that means nothing when john's word is the final rule. and john is now dean, determined to keep his family under control, bc to lose control is to invite further death and despair into your home.

#like s13-15? objectively bad but jack kline and his little speedrun of sam's arc? means everything to me #spn being a show to depict the full cycle of the cycle of abuse in a way no other piece of media could. simply bc of its sheer length #sam gives jack the love and support and the benefit of the doubt never awarded him. but at the end of the day #none of it matters. he's reduced to enabler and bystander. bc that's what it means to be the family mediator #you can't make both sides happy when it comes to this!! #also why would he defy his family! what has that gotten him over the years!! #dean sides with john as he kicks sam out of the house. sam sides with dean as he decides to lock a boy in a forever box #thinking over how a younger dean would react to jack. vs a dean so calcified from years of grief and anger over his own powerlessness #clamping down w the coldblooded ruthlessness of someone determined to never lose control again #but sam doesn't get to break the cycle of abuse. jack does (but i will say. mixed feelings over the end of his arc lmao) #j.txt

[ctrl-lupin]

Domestic JigLup

#lupin saw this wet pathetic gunman trying to kill him #and immediately brought him home and cooked his grandma's best french dish for him #like DUDE. you can't speedrun marriage this guy is TRAUMATISED #love them. #lupin iii #twcfm #the woman called fujiko mine #takeshi koike

[harmonysanreads]

Wow....wow....wow....

#hsr spoilers #idk what to feel anymore #i thought 2.1 turned my brain into mush i was clearly naive #i followed the quest through a playthrough and i'm already having an existential crisis #wonder how everyone else is doing #it's relieving to know that aventurine is safe but sunday............. #will need extra time to organize my feelings and thoughts for him #now don't misunderstand the quest made me love him even more it's just... his story really is sad #i sure do hope they give him closure and a chance #my favorite moments has to trailblazer gaining the harmony path and the last cutscene where robin saves sunday :( #you can't enjoy the penacony story if you play with a speedrunning mindset #take breaks and let the acquired information soak #and the fact that there's still more left phew... #harmonysan.txt

[meggydolaon]

something that bugs me about Frieren is that the adventure of the Hero Party to slay the Demon King famously took 10 years... what about the return trip....?

#sousou no frieren #frieren: beyond journey's end #frieren at the funeral #haven't written anything down but I'm trying to make a mental timeline #girl the math isn;t mathing #yeah sure the way back could be shorter bc Mr. Hero Completionist solved everything but surely travel alone would take some years?? #even if the manga made it look like they had a cart all the way from the north to back #also 10 years can't include the return trip already bc just making it to the goddess monument took 7 #unless they made it to Ende and back in 3 years somehow #(not impossible tbh maybe Himmel decided to speedrun to [REDACTED]) #btw Himmel started the journey at 16!! WILD!!! #so he'd be 26 when he slayed the Demon King and 76 when he died #weird that he's so skrunkly and bald at that age esp since Heiter aged more gracefully #but maybe terminal yearning just does that to you. who knows!! #btw he's still strong as fuck being able to travel far and defeat monsters solo just before he died #I forgor Frieren's timeline I think she was already a couple centuries old when she met Flamme #then Flamme dies some 50 years later. and it takes a few hundred more years before she joins the hero party at which point she's already #around a thousand years old #will I read the manga again to take notes? probably I feel deranged enough #IF I'M MISSING ANY DETAILS FEEL FREE TO SLAP ME WITH IT

[linterteatime]

Originally I wrote a whole thing about a comment someone left on a repost of my art that I found while reporting another repost, but like, getting angry will only make more pissed at the end, so on the quickest shortest way I can resume it: some people are like really comfortable just saying shit about my art or me on those pinterest reposts, being an asshole because why not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyways saying that, PLEASE do let me know if you happen to see my art being reposted because a lot of the time I don't allow it, and most people that repost don't even ask for permission to repost, or worse, don't even credit me at the vare minimum.

(Two things I can quickly think of that I absolutely do not want reposts of are my sona/oc art and my iz fanart, those two are just NOT allowed to be reposted (that includes YouTube/video stuff, etc.))

Edit: tumblr reblogs are fine BTW!!!

#not art #all artist experiences on the internet 100% speedrun #i will have to make a detailed info thingy about reposts i guess #what can be or can't be reposted blabla #also there were nice people on the pinterest comments too but like tbh idc i still don't want my art to be there 😭 #also on one of the reposter's idk what they did but the type of post they made doesn't let me report to delete so you know just great #i will figure something out i guess #reporting can be annoying sometimes but it usually works but also ughhhh #reposts #anyways i will post art later today

[coquelicoq]

how did you discover natsumes yuujinchou?

it's all @uovoc's fault!! they told me about the anime while they were watching it for the first time, in such glowing terms i had to know what all the fuss was about. and then i mainlined the whole thing in like two weeks and spedran the entire spectrum of human emotions AND somehow came out the other side obsessed with the exorcists, which i do not think they were expecting when they recommended it to me. such is life.

#i remember a conversation we had after i finished the show and had been rbing an insane amount of exorcist content and they were like #sooo.....the exorcists. what's up with that #and i was just like i don't KNOWWWW don't look at me i got fixated on the wrong blorbos I'M SORRY #but like what else am i supposed to do. speedrun the entire spectrum of human emotions every damn day of my life? #no. i can't do that. i can't think about natsume takashi all the time or i will collapse in on myself #i've been rereading some of the manga volumes right before i fall asleep and it's so bad. i cry so much #like maybe don't do that right before sleeping bestie #i can't remember now...have you watched/read natsume yuujinchou? #if not i do recommend it. it will destroy you but in the best possible way #asks #not anon #thank you for the ask babe miss you <33333 #i keep wanting to send you actual physical mail and then not doing that. one of these days though!!

[rarestdoge]

Hey Cam! Do you like to play sports? If not, what's your favorite video game?

"In more detail, I played a shit ton of basketball back in my high school days, and I was one of the best players on my team! It's just a small hobby of mine nowadays, though."

#I can't look at Cam with glasses without thinking of 🤓 #I mean it's PARTLY TRUE- #umm asckually #yeeah he'd definitely correct you on game facts n shit #also Cam has one of those like #mini basketball hoops in his room that you hang up above your door with a mini basketball #he plays around with that when bored #and YES COOL HAT REAL? There will in fact be a full design for that later #just some different clothes for him to wear when he's not at work in the military #and yes it's an N64 themed hat I literally have that hat and went “he'd wear that hat” #that's an official Luigi remote he has there btw #his favorite Mario character is Luigi he LOVES him #he's forced to play as Funky Kong in speedruns because it's the meta but he always uses Luigi outside of his runs #he will FIGHT YOU to play as Luigi #and yeah I know an official Luigi themed nunchuck doesn't exist so #I've decided Cam didn't like that and deadass got one custom made to match #he jokingly has a bunch of Toad wii remotes and uses them when he knows he'll get pissy at a game so he doesn't break his beloved Luigi one #because my ass couldn't help but make a Poofesure reference #he's been in a rivalry with 2 other speedrunners for years on end btw they constantly toss around the world record #I dunno what category he runs yet I'll think about that one #anyhoo HOLY HELL THAT IS ENOUGH RANTING NOW ENJOY THE LORE- #I just love him so much your honor #/ #cameron calvin #oc #henry stickmin #thsc #the henry stickmin collection #asks #GODAWFUL shitart

[waheelawhisperer]

Adam Taurus was an inadvertent and *deeply* involuntary ally for three consecutive volumes, yes. I still love his VA's 'only allergic to Blake & Yang's love for each other' tweet.

So I initially made that post for the express purpose of seeing what would happen if I kicked a hornet's nest (not much, sadly), but it actually wasn't 100% a shitpost because Adam genuinely takes Blake and Yang's relationship extremely seriously. Like, yeah, he absolutely hates it, but he never really comments on the fact that Yang is a woman instead of a man. Instead, the core of his opposition to the Bees comes from the fact that he no longer "owns" or controls Blake (because Adam absolutely thinks of relationships in terms of of possession and control. Blake and Yang cannot be equal partners who genuinely love and respect each other, one of them has to be dominant over the other, and in his head it can't be Blake because he's too contemptuous of her and too used to dominating and terrorizing her to consider the possibility) and that Yang has superseded him as both the person who controls Blake and the object of her regard. He identifies Blake's feelings for Yang as early as Volume 3, specifically targets her instead of Sun to hurt Blake, and otherwise treats her as seriously as characters of this nature treat male rivals in other media. He certainly gives Blake and Yang's relationship more credit than the chucklefucks who still insist to this day that both the Bees are straight somehow.

#I'll be on the bi yang train until either the day I die or someone official comes out and confirms that yang is not attracted to men #but it is beyond my understanding how people can look at either her or blake and claim they aren't gay in some capacity #like I'm a dumbass straight man who can't read signs for shit and I still figured this out #how dumb do you have to be to not get it #rwby #analysis #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #adam taurus #bumbleby #god adam is so so so shitty #props to crwby for making him such a slimy human turd #but also fuck crwby for making him such a slimy human turd because it means I have to watch him speedrun incel ideology #and hurt my bees

[kazumasdiary]

i keep thinking about how olive green's whole murder plan is also a kind of test.

because she didn't know her fiance was murdered. she didn't really consider the possibility of murder until she heard soseki talking about his gas leak. perhaps she suspected something beforehand- "i'm going to buy strychnine" is a pretty big jump to make from "my fiance died in an accident"- but if she hadn't overheard soseki, she probably would have accepted the explanation that duncan's death was an accident, and left it at that.

she wasn't sure. she was setting up a plan to murder a man and she still wasn't sure if duncan's death was an accident or not.

like, she sends the letter to william shamspeare, but the letter specifically says, "i have information regarding duncan ross's death." if shamspeare hadn't been involved, he might not have heeded the letter- he might have brought it to the police, or the landlord, or just ignored it. he might not have left his apartment at all.

he does, though. and when she goes to briar road, his flat is empty. but that's not confirmation- maybe he was scared he'd be hurt if he didn't follow the instructions, or maybe he didn't know what else to do. she doesn't know for sure.

so she executes a murder plan that will only kill him if she's right.

she wanted the truth. but she wanted revenge, too, for her and for duncan, and the two are inextricably linked- the crime committed against her, and the crime she committed in order to know what had happened. she set it up so that her revenge would give her the truth- if shamspeare died, then she knew she was right.

but then she fails. she loses both: shamspeare survives, and she now knows the truth but she's made it unusable. she can't come forward with the knowledge that her fiance was killed, because the only way she can prove she knows that is to admit to her own attempted murder- and who will believe her then?

(and she and duncan are poor. she's not wealthy enough for the police to care- what are the chances that they would have discovered her murder, thrown her in prison, and stopped there? her murder was a lot more clear-cut than shamspeare's, so it's likely that her crime would be discovered first, and no one is going to bother investigating the claims of a poor woman already arrested for murder.)

we've seen people commit murder in the name of vengeance before. ashley graydon does it in 1-5, and we'll see it again with enoch drebber in 2-3. but i think olive green is the first person we see to tie truth and vengeance together- to make "getting revenge for the loss of a loved one" and "finding the truth behind the loss of her loved one" one and the same. and it backfires on her, in the end- but it was the only way she could see forward, to actually find closure for what she'd lost.

(hey, kazuma. remind you of anyone?)

#dgs #dgs2 #dgs spoilers #dgs2 spoilers #olive green #meta #my meta #like kazuma and olive's situation have some major differences: namely that he is not right about the culprit where she was #but genuinely i am not over how much olive green was just like. #would you like to see me speedrun the major themes of the next three cases? #because we're about to speedrun the major themes of the next three cases #the cycle of vengeance? got it. the struggle to live with major loss? got it. in order for the truth to matter it must be heard? got it! #the only thing she's missing is an authority figure keeping secrets from her #now this makes some assumptions about 2-5 that i can't back up yet but like #she REALLY DOES FEEL like a speedrun microcosm of everything we've got going on #q

[cluescorner]

Me, during Al Haitham’s world quest: *Sigh*. I miss my wife, Al Haitham. I miss her a lot. 

Al Haitham: *Laughs* 

Me, going back to the Tanit camp halfway through his quest to stand next to Jeht and pretend that I’m her girlfriend now: I’ll be back. 

#jeht #Jeht playable when #Jeht hangout event when #Like #Yes I am unhealthily attached to a character who will never even be playable what about it #Yes I skipped out of Al Haitham's quest in order to go vibe with Jeht what about it #Anyways I finished the Dirge World Quest #Didn't like it as much as Golden Slumber #I'm pissed off about Azariq being a traitor like damn Jeht can't have anything nice #And yeah it's really funny knowing ahead of time that Mother Babel has already betrayed us but they're still like #'Oh no she's good and Azariq was the traitor we promise' I SAW THE TABLETS SHE FUCKED OVER NOT ONLY US BUT JEBRAEL #AKA THE ONLY GENSHIN MAN WHO CAN CANONICALLY BE CALLED A DILF #but Jeht being 100% a lesbian and generally just having good development is incredible #Also I'm fucking pissed off that Liloupar exists #Why are you racist? Why are you straight up pro-slavery? Why do you exist? Why can't you just be BenBen? #I'm gonna speedrun this exploration so that I never have to see its fugly ass again #Imagine being somehow worse than Tirzad aka the WORST NPC UNTIL YOU SHOWED UP #At least Tirzad would probably be like 'Yeah slavery is bad wtf' #He's the king of microaggressions but at least he would be anti-slavery #Unlike SOMEBODY #WHO IS PRESENT FOR SOME REASON BEYOND MY COMPREHENSION #Anyways #I'm gonna go back to writing Jeht x Reader fanfic because I love her so much