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#you can talk about boundaries all you like. hes 2000 years old ...and youre 19.
chaoxfix · 9 months
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god i need the algorithm to stop recommending lore olympus to me.
reframing a kidnapping of a woman as romance, and painting her mother as an overbearing shrew rather than rightfully worried and protective, and portraying the kidnapper as sympathetic ... what about my overtly feminist ass makes anyone or any algorithm think i'd enjoy ANY hades/persephone romance retellings.
at this point the only hades and persephone retelling i'm interested in is a retelling that focuses on demeter's love for her daughter. one where persephone's abduction and transition from kore, the maiden, to persephone, goddess of the dead and queen of the underworld, was one where she carries out a revenge fantasy against her abductor... She cannot fully escape the underworld, no; she is death, doomed by the narrative. Underground she will stay for half the year. But she will not subject herself to be trapped with him.
hades dies at dawn; hades dies in the spring light, by persephone's power, and a knife garnished with evergreen thistles. demeter holds him down, and persephone cuts the head. judith slaying holofernes; persephone slaying hades.
#i just cant stand it. i cant stand women simping over abusive and controlling men. begging yall... have some dignity#and i cannot stand women who write stories expecting their love of controlling and abusive men to be validated.#ladies... you dont have to like this........ the only things you have to lose are your chains!!!!!#also i dont like the girls outfits in lore olympus.#i cant be the only one who thinks theyre degrading.#why is dressing that way seen as sexy? and why is 'sexy' for a woman so humiliating and submissive? what would a sexy man wear by contrast?#lets stop treating ourselves as objects. we arent here to be ogled. you arent a sexy lamp. you can stop stop dressing as one.#also no amount of therapy speak in the world can cover up the fact that this is a relationship with untenable power differences#you can talk about boundaries all you like. hes 2000 years old ...and youre 19.#and the fact that all the older folk around her have their worries dismissed by the narrative........... side eye#ladies. sugar daddy and older 'mature' man fantasies are fine whatever. but lets not kid ourselves. theyre not *empowerment* fantasies.#you still dont have agency no matter how much money your boyfriend makes. not as long as it's *his* money.#you still dont have power no matter how powerful your boyfriend is. it's still *his* power.#its not empowerment if YOU arent the one that receives power. i dont care if you FEEL empowered. ARE you? in a material and objective way?#are you truly receiving POWER? or are you receiving gifts? if its in HIS power it isnt in YOURS.#and if you truly believe that there can ever be a relationship where he loves you enough that you have 'power' over him...#you fundamentally misunderstand the risks in dynamics like that. how abusive men can change in an instant.#women throughout history weep for you. please understand that you are not so different from them.#you are not inherently any smarter or better than abused women of the past. they thought they made the best choices they could too.#dont ever put yourself in a relationship with a man where he holds all the power. retain your power.#and when the older women in your life tells you something is a bad idea... run. run as fast as you can. they are trying to protect you.#ill regret posting feminist rants eventually but god i need an outlet
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calzona-ga · 4 years
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She might change her mind; she certainly has before. But midway through an interview, Ellen Pompeo casually drops the bomb that after more than 360 episodes, the upcoming 17th season of “Grey’s Anatomy” may be its last.
“We don’t know when the show is really ending yet,” Pompeo says, answering a question that was not at all about when the show might end. “But the truth is, this year could be it.”
Pompeo has played Meredith Grey — the superstar surgeon around whom “Grey’s Anatomy” revolves — since its start. The show, created by Shonda Rhimes, premiered on ABC on March 27, 2005, and became an immediate, noisy hit. Since then, for a remarkably long time in Hollywood years, the drama has been among the most popular series on TV, even as the landscape of television has changed seismically. At its Season 2 ratings height, the program drew an average audience of 20 million viewers. And all these years later — in a TV universe now divided by more than 500 scripted shows —“Grey’s” ranks as the No. 1 drama among 18- to 34- year-olds and No. 2 among adults 18 to 49. In delayed, multiplatform viewing, Season 16 averaged 15 million viewers.
Strikingly, technology is such that teenagers who were born when the show premiered, and later binged “Grey’s” on Netflix, watch new episodes live with their parents. The series has spawned two successful spinoffs for ABC, “Private Practice” (which ran from 2007 to 2013) and “Station 19” (which enters its fourth season this fall). “Grey’s Anatomy” has been licensed in more than 200 territories across the world, translated into more than 60 languages, and catapulted the careers of music artists — from Ingrid Michaelson and Snow Patrol to Tegan and Sara and the Fray — whose songs have played during key emotional sequences.
In its explosive initial success, “Grey’s Anatomy” was an insurgent force in popular culture. The Season 1 cast featured three Black actors — Chandra Wilson, James Pickens Jr. and Isaiah Washington — as doctors in positions of power at the Seattle hospital where the show is set, and Sandra Oh played the ambitious intern Cristina Yang, who would become Meredith’s best friend. For the women characters, the “Grey’s” approach to sex was defiant and joyful, starting in the pilot with Meredith’s one-night stand with Derek (Patrick Dempsey), who turned out to be one of her bosses at the hospital.
Rhimes presented these images to the world like they were no big deal, when in fact, nothing like “Grey’s” had ever been seen on network television. Krista Vernoff has been the “Grey’s Anatomy” showrunner since Season 14, as anointed by Rhimes, and was the head writer for the first seven seasons. She remembers the moment she realized how radical “Grey’s” was — a medical show driven entirely by its characters instead of their surgeries — as she watched an episode early in Season 1. “My whole body was covered in chills,” Vernoff recalls. “I was like, ‘Oh, we thought we were making a sweet little medical show — and we’re making a revolution.’”
Still, no one expected “Grey’s Anatomy” to become the longest-running primetime medical drama in TV history, outlasting “MASH” and “ER,” the previous record-holder. Since 2005, “Grey’s” has inspired countless women to become doctors, and along the way, its depiction of illness has even saved a few lives. The show has remained popular through three presidential administrations, the Great Recession, tectonic shifts in how people watch TV and two cultural reckonings — one feminist, one anti-racist — that demonstrate how ahead of its time “Grey’s Anatomy” has always been.
And they’re not done yet. When Season 17 premieres on Nov. 12, “Grey’s Anatomy” will tackle the subject of the coronavirus as experienced by the doctors at Grey Sloan Memorial, all while filming under strict COVID-19 protocols. The season is dedicated to frontline workers. And Pompeo, a producer on “Grey’s” — whose Meredith has removed a live bomb from a patient’s body, was in a plane crash, was widowed after Derek died in a car accident, was beaten nearly to death by a patient and, in a separate incident, actually did die briefly after a ferry accident — is intent on making the show top itself once again.
“I’m constantly fighting for the show as a whole to be as good as it can be. As a producer, I feel like I have permission to be able to do that,” Pompeo says. “I mean, this is the last year of my contract right now. I don’t know that this is the last year? But it could very well could be.”
Pompeo has been refreshingly transparent about her fight to become the highest-paid female actor on television, having detailed a few years ago how she negotiated a paycheck for more than $20 million a year. She clearly knows what she’s doing with these frank pronouncements as well.
As Pompeo laughs over the phone from her car, she says in a near shout: “There’s your sound bite! There’s your clickbait! ABC’s on the phone!”
The “Grey’s Anatomy” team — led by Rhimes and executive producer Betsy Beers — created the first season in a vacuum, because the show did not have an airdate. The 2004-05 season was a comeback year for ABC because “Desperate Housewives” and “Lost,” both of which debuted that fall, became phenomena — not only ratings successes but also watercooler events.
But at “Grey’s,” Rhimes was getting noted to death by network president Steve McPherson. According to Vernoff, McPherson — who resigned in 2010 under a cloud of sexual harassment allegations — stonewalled with “pushback every step of the way,” as ABC’s then- head of drama, Suzanne Patmore Gibbs, fought for the show. Vernoff was close with Patmore Gibbs, who died in 2018, and recalls her talking about her clashes with McPherson.
“He just didn’t get it; he didn’t like it,” Vernoff continues. “Honestly, I’m going to say, I don’t think he liked the ambitious women having sex unapologetically.”
Wilson, when she was cast as Miranda Bailey on “Grey’s,” was a New York theater actor (“Caroline, or Change”) relatively new to series television. But she was well aware of the network’s issues. “We took a creative break around the Christmas holiday, which to me meant ‘Oh, we’re out of a job.’”
Pompeo was frustrated: “Once we finally got an airdate, two weeks before that airdate they wanted to change the title of the show to ‘Complications.’”
In an email to Variety, McPherson disputed these assertions, saying, “I made the original deal with Shonda. I developed ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ at the studio. I picked it up at ABC.” He praised Patmore Gibbs, and added, “As for defaming me again and again, I don’t know what to say other than it’s sad that anyone feels the need to spread lies about me.”
Yet there was so little faith in the show that the writers were asked to clear out their offices when they finished the season. But to Vernoff, who had clicked right away with Rhimes, the early episodes had “felt like a labor of love.”
And it was worth the battle. “We fought for the right for Meredith and Bailey to be whole human beings, with whole sex lives, and not a network TV idea of likable,” Vernoff says. “You might not have been likable, but now you’re iconic.”
As far as the medicine went, the cases were often ostentatious. “Every kind of crazy accident that had ever caused terrible harm to any human ever, that was our homework at night,” Vernoff says. It was up to Zoanne Clack, an emergency room doctor-turned-writer, to be a sounding board in the writers’ room. She began as the only doctor on staff during the first season, and is now an executive producer. “What was interesting was that the writers don’t have those boundaries because they don’t know the rules, so they would come up with all of these scenarios, and my immediate thought was like, ‘No way!’” Clack says. “Then I’d have to think about it and go, ‘But could it?’”
When the program finally premiered — on a Sunday night after “Desperate Housewives” — to massive ratings, it was a shock to the cast and crew, given that they had shot the first season under a cloud, Pompeo says, adding, “So the fact that the numbers were that huge the first time we aired was a big f–k-you to McPherson!”
With Season 2 now a given, everything changed, Vernoff says: “It was like a hurricane-force gale, and everyone was just trying to hold on.” They had made 13 episodes for Season 1, airing nine of them and holding the final four for Season 2 — Meredith finding out that Derek was actually married (to Addison, played by Kate Walsh) had felt like the perfect finale. But upon the writers’ return, Vernoff says, the feeling was “Holy s—. We have to make 22.”
The entire cast — mostly unknown actors like Katherine Heigl as the sunny Izzie Stevens, T.R. Knight as the chummy neurotic George O’Malley, and Justin Chambers as the troubled, secretly vulnerable Alex Karev — had become famous overnight. For Wilson, whose Bailey was the stern teacher the interns called “the Nazi,” it was a new experience. “Folks were scared to talk to me, like in the store or in the Target — people would just kind of leave me alone,” she says. “It was like, ‘What’s going on?’”
According to Vernoff, “Paparazzi were following the cast to work — it was wild.”
The mid- to late-2000s were the height of glossy gossip magazines such as Us Weekly (and its copycats), as well as the inception of TMZ and Perez Hilton as celebrity-hounding, news-breaking forces that fueled (and soiled) the fame-industrial complex. The cast of “Grey’s Anatomy” was firmly in the sights of these new, often toxic forces in media.
Pompeo says the cast was so talented that it “was all worth it” — but yes, the transition to stardom was hard for the group: “At the time, it was just a real combination of exhaustion and stress and drama. Actors competing with each other — and envious.”
Heigl, Knight and Isaiah Washington all went through press cycles that made the show seem scandal-prone. To rehash it all now seems pointless; you can look it up. Washington was fired in June 2007. Knight and Heigl asked to be written out of the show preemptively, in Seasons 5 and 6, respectively.
Vernoff and the other writers were watching the internal messes unfold. They had to deal with how the fallout affected the show’s plot, as when Washington was fired just as Burke, his character, was about to marry Cristina. “When word comes down that an actor is leaving the show, and what you’ve got scripted is a wedding …” Vernoff trails off, laughing.
“There was a lot of drama on-screen and drama off-screen, and young people navigating intense stardom for the first time in their lives,” she continues. “I think that a lot of those actors, if they could go back in time and talk to their younger selves, it would be a different thing. Everybody’s grown and changed and evolved — but it was an intense time.”
Pompeo doesn’t want to talk about what happened with individual actors from the show, because when she has in the past, “it doesn’t get received in the way in which I intend it to be.” But she does make a point about the way television is produced. “Nobody should be working 16 hours a day, 10 months a year — nobody,” she says. “And it’s just causing people to be exhausted, pissed, sad, depressed. It’s a really, really unhealthy model. And I hope post-COVID nobody ever goes back to 24 or 22 episodes a season.
“It’s why people get sick. It’s why people have breakdowns. It’s why actors fight! You want to get rid of a lot of bad behavior? Let people go home and sleep.”
Debbie Allen would eventually be Pompeo’s savior in that regard, but that was years away. Allen — an actor and a dancer — began her directing career when she was on the 1980s TV series “Fame” as a “natural progression” because, she says, “I was in charge of the musical numbers, and so many directors didn’t really know how to shoot them.” She went on to be a prolific director and producer, most notably overhauling NBC’s “A Different World” after a tumultuous first season. As a fan of “Grey’s Anatomy,” Allen wanted to work on the show, and in Season 6, she was hired to direct. To prepare for it, Allen shadowed Wilson, who had been tapped to direct by executive producer-director Rob Corn. (“He came to me and said, ‘You should direct,’” says Wilson, who has now helmed 21 episodes. “And I said, ‘OK.’ Because I didn’t know what else to say.”)
Directing that sixth-season episode led to Allen’s fruitful relationship with “Grey’s.” In Season 8, Rhimes wrote Allen into the show to play Catherine, a star surgeon, a love interest for Richard Webber (Pickens) and the mother of Jackson Avery (Jesse Williams). Ahead of Season 12 in 2015, Allen became the show’s EP/director. Her duties included hiring all of the directors, weighing in on scripts and casting, and, as Allen puts it, “minding that people feel good about themselves.” Several years before the revived #MeToo movement would lead to calls for systemic changes behind the camera in Hollywood, Allen set a goal of hiring 50% women directors. She also increased the number of Black men who directed “Grey’s” during her first season as executive producer, among them Denzel Washington. (When she sold him on it, she recounts, he said to her, “I’m going to say yes, Debbie Allen.”)
Pompeo and Allen are close. Allen began her new role the year after Dempsey left, “at a time when we were really broken,” Pompeo says. “And so much of our problems were perpetuated by bad male management. Debbie came in at a time when we really, really needed a breath of fresh air, and some new positive energy.”
Pompeo continues with a laugh: “Debbie really brought in a spirit to the show that we had never seen — we had never seen optimism! We had never seen celebration. We had never seen joy!”
According to Pompeo, Allen began advocating for her to have more humane hours — Fridays off (Pompeo: “And I was like, ‘What? What? Fridays off?’”) — and for the show to shoot 12-hour days maximum, and ideally no more than 10 hours (Pompeo: “And I was like, I love this woman.”).
Allen speaks affectionately about her bond with Pompeo. “Coming out of Boston, she’s so earthy and real in a way that you might not know,” Allen says. “There’s a sisterhood between us — I guess you would say it’s almost a Blackness that exists between us. And she’s part of our tribe.”
Allen has been a key member of the “Grey’s Anatomy” brain trust since Season 12, and two seasons later, Vernoff returned to run the show. She’d left at the end of Season 7, consulted on “Private Practice” for a few years, and then went to Showtime’s “Shameless” for five seasons. As her contract was set to expire, Rhimes asked Vernoff to lunch, and told her she wanted her to take over. “It felt like she was saying, ‘Hey, our kid needs you,’” Vernoff says.
Before accepting the offer, Vernoff had to catch up on the show. She had always written “Grey’s” as a romantic comedy, and what she saw on-screen during her binge was dark as hell — especially after Derek’s death. “If this show that you are currently making is the show that you want ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ to be,” she recalls telling Rhimes, “I am, in fact, not the right writer for it.” But Rhimes was insistent, saying it was time for a change after the mourning period for Derek.
Vanessa Delgado, who started as a production intern during the seventh season and has worked her way up to being lead editor and co-producer, says the show’s trajectory shifted when Vernoff came back — it was a return to the original, saucier tone of “Grey’s.” “We changed the music completely,” Delgado says. “The dialogue felt lighter and more fun, and wewere having fun again.”
That lightness will be difficult to maintain this year, of course, when, as Allen puts it, “COVID is No. 1 on the call sheet right now.”
Vernoff at first wondered whether “Grey’s” should ignore the coronavirus, thinking the audience comes to the show “for relief.” But the doctors in the writers’ room convinced her this wasn’t the time for escapism, saying to her, “This is the biggest medical story of our lifetime, and it is changing medicine permanently.”
When they’ve had doctors and nurses come speak with them this season, Vernoff says, “they were different human beings than the people we’ve been talking to every year. And I want to honor that, tonally. I just want to inspire people to take care of each other.”
Pompeo, who is not shy about offering criticism, sounds positively enthusiastic: “I’ll say the pilot episode to this season — girl, hold on.
“What nobody thinks we can continue to do, we have done. Hold on. That’s all we’re going to say about that!”
Pompeo has a few more months before she decides whether she wants to continue — and as Rhimes and ABC have made clear in recent years, the show will likely end when she leaves. “I don’t take the decision lightly,” Pompeo says. “We employ a lot of people, and we have a huge platform. And I’m very grateful for it.”
“You know, I’m just weighing out creatively what can we do,” she says. “I’m really, really, really excited about this season. It’s probably going to be one of our best seasons ever. And I know that sounds nuts to say, but it’s really true.”
Vernoff doesn’t worry about the creative well drying up. “We’ve blown past so many potential endings to ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ that I always assume it can go on forever,” she says.
And Wilson knows how important “Grey’s” is to its audience, in that the characters have essentially become people who “live in their house.” As one of only three actors who’ve been on “Grey’s” since the beginning — the other is James Pickens Jr. — Wilson is in it until the end: “In my mind, Bailey is there until the doors close, until the hospital burns down, until the last thing happens on ‘Grey’s Anatomy.’ That is her entire arc.”
Whenever the show does conclude, part of its legacy will be about the talent it launched into the world, beginning with Rhimes, who will soon release her first shows for Netflix, after her company, Shondaland, made a lucrative deal with the streamer in 2017.
But it will also be about the characters of “Grey’s Anatomy”— mostly women and people of color — who are trying to make the world a better place as they find friendship, love and community.
“The show, at its core, brings people together,” Pompeo says. “And the fact that people can come together and watch the show, and think about things they may not have ordinarily thought about, or see things normalized and humanized in a way that a lot of people really need to see — it helps you become a better human being. If this show has helped anybody become a better human being, then that’s the legacy I’d love to sit with.”
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alittledizzy · 4 years
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Hi, Mandy! The podcast with Phil is up! When you have time to listen to it, do you think, you could share some of your thoughts with us? Maybe even do some time stamps with commentary? Like, of course no pressure, but it would be awesome if you decide to express your opinion on the matter ;))) Have a nice day 🌷
My main thought: I love how much more comfortable Phil is talking about his anxiety and things that make/made him anxious now. I’ve never heard him dig in quite so much on how his brain works with insecurities and how intense he can be about editing and how that can cause him to mentally spiral with anxiety. 
Besides that, I don’t think he said much here we didn’t already know, but I sure as heck enjoyed listening to him say it all again. 
Timestamps!
2:30 - Phil would have shown up in pajamas if he’d known it was for a podcast. 2:37 - Interviewer asks Phil when he first realizes he was creative. “I think I just came out of the womb and did jazz hands in the hospital.” 3:00 - His parents gave him a video camera for Christmas when he was eight and he made little friends with his friends. He talks about the horror film he and his friends made when they were ten (that he’s made youtube videos about). He learned to edit then by pausing a video cassette tape and putting the footage in and editing in real time, before he could do it on a computer. He doesn’t know where that creativity came from, but he’s been making videos as long as he’s been able to make videos. 3:51 - He used to watch movies hundreds of times. He wore out the Gremlins VHS tape. He wanted to make things like that, or his own version of that entertainment. 4:05 - Gizmo the Gremlin was his mentor. No, he didn’t have a mentor, but he’s thankful to his parents for letting him do it. If he’d done his homework they’d just say, “Go for it. I’ll get you a video camera if you want to make videos.” He acknowledges that not everyone had that means of doing it, though now everyone has a phone and anyone can do it if they wanted to with a phone recording. 4:40 - When he was young his family was mostly his audience, though they let him play the horror film he made when he was ten at school. “I think having that audience reaction, I was like oh people are actually laughing and enjoying it.” 5:20 - He started youtube because he was impressed by the fact that anyone, anywhere can make something and have the chance to broadcast yourself. He saw people like Smosh and LonelyGirl15. He liked watching people’s lives all over the world. 6:01 - He got two comments on his first video and couldn’t believe it. One from Australia and one ‘somewhere else’ saw it and cared. 6:39 - He had imposter syndrome at the first Vidcon he went to. He went into a party and thought he shouldn’t be in the same room as people like Smosh. It was a learning experience. 6:58 - He found it crazy that a hundred people would come to a panel or meet and greet to see him and it made him feel like this was real, it was really happening. 7:32 - The interviewer asks him how he’s maintained trust with the audience and his answer is, “You’d have to ask the audience, they’re the ones that are still watching. 7:40 - He thinks being himself in his videos has help, he hasn’t had the need to reinvent himself or become somebody else. He feels like his audience are more friends than fans. 8:26 - "You have your long term collaborator, Dan Howell-” “Yes.” 8:27 - He finds it refreshing to collaborate, especially in comedy videos. He thinks he works well in an improvisation style environment, like on the gaming channel. It helps to have someone to laugh and have comedy banter with. It also helps to have someone else with creative ideas so you aren’t in your own head all the time. 9:20 - The interviewer asks about the transition from youtube to the stage shows. It was a big leap - they had ten crew members and it was a learning curve. He’s quite a shy person so going on stage in front of 2000 people was far out of his comfort zone compared to making videos alone. “It was kind of… fighting off my anxiety and thinking, I can do this, these people are here to see me for a reason.” 10:33 - They interviewed potential crew members (about a five minute interview) and they needed to be other creative people and understand the internet. They needed people who understood what they were making, and also wanted people that had a sense of humor and knew how to have a laugh. 11:30 - Specifically talking about TATINOF: they were trying to turn everything people loved about their youtube videos into a stage show, with a narrative flowing through the whole thing. They wanted it to be bigger than anything anyone had seen from youtubers before. 12:12 - You will not be seeing Phil on Strictly any time soon. 12:45 - TATINOF was about 70% scripted but it got changed up based on what the audience were like or what the reactions were. American found different jokes funny than Sweden and they learned to change and mold it. 13:09 - During TATINOF learned he can actually do scripted stuff, because there were scripted sections. He used to say he can’t act but he thinks he did okay with the scripted stuff in TATINOF. 13:52 - Section about the Radio 1 show. It started with him and Dan collaborating as youtubers with Radio 1, and the BBC decided to give them a show. He specifically says that Youtube say how many good comments and views youtube videos get, and that’s how the show came about. It started freelance and then they got the main show. 14:40 - With the radio show, because it’s live you really have to be aware of what you’re saying. There’s an art to working the desk with the music in the background and when to dip it down. They were learning on the go and it was terrifying. For the first three months he’d wake up in the middle of the night with night sweats and have nightmares about saying something wrong. He had panic dreams about the radio, but they got into a flow and he thinks it was an entertaining and innovative radio show. He always likes something that pushes the boundaries of the technology. 15:25 - He shades how 'old school’ the radio is because they had to play music videos off of dvds. If a dvd skipped or broke then the show would just go off air and they’d have to improvise. It was good preparation for doing stuff on stage. 15:55 - He talks about the stage show in America that lost power and improvising it in an unplugged way. He was relieved when people were happy with it. 16:38 - He thinks there are things traditional media could take from digital media: free flowing, less restrictions. On the radio ideas had to go through about ten processes. “By the time you’ve gone through these ten steps of checking, the fun of the creativity is gone about. It’s not about breaking the rules, it’s about trying to be more improvisational and spontaneous when you can. Not everything needs signing off by five people before you tell a joke.” 27:49 - He likes that youtube is more fresh and reactive to pop culture. It feels fresher than television - cites people doing the floss dance on Netflix shows now. It was funny a year ago, and it was written a year ago, but it’s not as funny now. 18:35 - The positive to traditional media is more people bringing experienced voices to the table helping you develop something. Youtubers know a few things instinctively but someone that’s been a scriptwriter for ten years can completely blow your mind. 19:25 - He would like to think the main thing his audience values is authenticity, but he actually thinks it is accessibility that they value more. He’s not like a movie or pop star. 20:14 - He’s fourteen years in and still tries to think of videos that would make him laugh or he wants to watch, but he’s trying to branch out some this year. “Trying new things.” He doesn’t think there’s any shame in seeing someone else’s video and thinking of doing his own take on that. 21:20 - He looks to Safiya Nygard for inspiration - he likes that there’s so much research and planning in her videos. Even if it’s a silly video she has all the facts and goes to all the videos. He got to meet her the last Vidcon and it was nice to hang out with her. 21:56 - He’s inspired by traditional media, too. For a long time it was Scot Pilgrim vs. the World, he used to think if he was going to make a video that was it. He starts talking about editing here and goes in pretty hard on what editing means to him over the next few minutes. 22:50 - He’s good at suspending his disbelief. It’s a good sign if you’re lost in a world. When he saw 1917, he forgot he was in the cinema. 23:13 - “It’s more when I’m watching my own videos, I can’t - I find it really hard to watch it as a viewer. I find I’m so critical of myself and I just see the edits and I’m just like, oh that could be different, that could be different. And even if after I’ve uploaded it I’ll get a text from my friend and they’re like 'oh that was so funny’ but in my head I’m like oh but I could have cut two seconds off that bit. So I think I should learn, and other people should learn, not to be so critical of yourself. Because there can be a point where - I made a video in December and I was looking back at the footage and I was like, I can’t upload this, this isn’t  - this isn’t good enough. But then I just persevered with the editing and it turned out to be really funny. But that self doubt was creeping in like, people aren’t gonna watch this, people aren’t gonna like this. So I need to work on that a bit and think - if people are enjoying my videos I should be able to enjoy them as well.”24:11 - It’s hard not to be numbers obsessed because youtube tells you as soon as you sign in what’s performing well and not. You don’t want to get that feeling when you first log in to your channel, and you can’t really avoid it. “You’ve got to see it as a learning thing rather than an everybody hates me thing.” 25:42 - Once a video is out in the world, he lets it go. He doesn’t obsess over it. He’s more critical in the editing process and actually pressing go rather than after the fact. 26:08 - He’s particularly proud of his coming out video because of the unexpected reaction. The video production wasn’t incredible but he’s proud of the message. 26:40 - They ask him how he’d have felt in 2006 knowing where he’s at now. “No. I’d probably run away.” 26:47 - “I was so shy and anxious, I couldn’t even like… phone for a hairdressers appointment. I was that nervous about public interaction and talking and stuff like that. So the fact that I’ve got to this level now where I can go on stage or talk on a panel it’s just like - it’s kind of mindblowing looking back at where I was. I’m proud of myself for that.” 27:15 - He’s ready to sink his teeth into a big new project, to do something new that’s very Phil and his own thing. He’s obsessed with interactivity. He was making interactive videos ten years ago with youtube annotations and he thinks now broadcasters and traditional media is more accepting of that technology and narrative structure. 28:15 - He pitched one interactive thing that didn’t work out. He shouts out Complex and also Markiplier’s interactive youtube original. 29:02 - It’s good to get feedback on an idea that’s rejected. It would be weird if everyone said yes all the time. He goes a bit in depth here on potential reasons why a project may be rejected and not taking it as an attack or a big negative thing. 30:33 - If he made a film he’d write it, not be the star of it. He’s excited to see where that creative process goes. He’s written a few short stories and tried a long form script. He’s a control freak so he won’t release it until it’s perfect. 31:03 - He sees Youtube as his work, and scripting and pitches as a hobby. He’s not under a deadline with writing and can enjoy free flowing creativity, unlike youtube where he needs to make a video every week. 32:00 - Discussion about the illustrator they had for TABINOF, who worked on The Mighty Boosh.33:00 - When ask him for one thing he’s inspired by at the moment, he says Bandersnatch and talks about it a bit. He still has Scott Pilgrim and Gremlins in his heart, though. “Gizmo’s the one.”
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dcarevu · 5 years
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Batman TAS: Perchance to Dream
“It’s a big hole in the ground, with a big car in it that’s all black. Remember?”
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Episode: 30 Robin: No Writers: Joe R Lansdale (teleplay), Laren Bright (story), and Michael Reaves (story). Director: Boyd Kirkland Animator: Dong Yang Airdate: October 19, 1992 Grade: A
This should go without saying, but because of the nature of the episode (and because it was spoiled for me before I ever saw it), I am issuing a MASSIVE SPOILER WARNING. Take this as me telling you that going into this episode blind is highly recommended, and part of the fun of it is the mystery.
Are you ever disappointed to wake up from a dream? For me, it is usually a matter of not having finished the story that was playing out, or forgetting details. I don’t like waking up and causing cliffhangers which go forever unsolved, especially when I can’t even tell people about them. Then there are the dreams that you are so glad you woke up from. Usually these dreams consist of the scariest things we have ever experienced. Isn’t it crazy to think about? For many of us, the scariest moments of our lives never even truly happened in the real world. Batman lives these moments practically every episode. Things like our friend getting half of their body demolished and then turning into a contradicting gangster, or a clown who turns all the fish in the area into smiling, trepidatious frights. These events have very dreamlike qualities. They likely would never happen in real life, and don’t make all that much sense. Ironically, when Batman has what starts out as the best dream of his life, providing an escape from all that we try to avoid at night, he wants nothing to do with it. Because even though our REM thoughts are his conscious ones, and he probably could have lived the rest of his life in bliss, it means nothing to him if it’s not real. Looking the other way is not something that Batman is capable of. This is why he has made the enormous impact he has. Not only did the night at Crime Alley send his life into a gothic cave of despair, it also seemed to cause him to purposely repel any hope of happiness. Happiness to Batman is irresponsibility. Yet he stops at nothing to allow the innocent to live the happy life he is incapable of.
This is one of my favorite episodes of the entire series, even though I never got to experience the unknown. Batman falls into a mysterious trap, but wakes up immediately afterward. Suddenly, his life is completely different. His parents are alive. Selena Kyle is set to become his wife. He is no longer Batman. The weight of responsibility has been removed. He is set to live life as a rich playboy, while someone else swings around the city in a bat-mask. But there is a nagging feeling that none of it is right. There are inconsistencies and problems that prevent him from enjoying. Through a series of events, he ends up at the top of a tower in a cemetery, in a fight against himself, eventually jumping to what seems like his death. He wakes up from a dream that the Mad Hatter set up for him, and apprehends the criminal. What makes this episode so sad is that Bruce so desperately wants the dream to be real. At one point, after talking to Leslie Thompkins, he actually does begin to accept things. He tells us, “The nightmare is over!” Bruce considers his life a nightmare. He hates being Batman, but he is an addict. Right as he is truly about to throw his old life away, he opens up a newspaper and can’t read a word. The text is all jumbled. This is proof that this new life is not real, as he knows that in dreams, it is impossible to read. Cleverly, at the beginning of the episode, there is a sign on a building that is jumbled up, and no one mentions it. A very subtle detail that one can appreciate on a second watch. Another Easter egg is the music that plays immediately as soon as the title card pops up. It’s the Mad Hatter’s theme music, and we have only seen Hatter one time, so one is not likely to recognize it. But if you know it, you know it. Figuring this detail out yourself can give one a sense of accomplishment, and discovering a twist ending on your own rather than a spoiler is incredibly satisfying.
I also noticed that certain characters are nowhere to be seen, most notably being Robin. At first I wasn’t sure how to take this. Does Batman regret inviting Robin into his life? Why is Robin not there? This is supposed to be his desired life. But after talking to Char, I realized that in Batman’s ideal world, Robin’s parents never would have been killed in the first place, and so Robin would have no reason to be living with Bruce. Alfred is here, but his usual warmth seems to have vanished. I think this is less a reflection of Bruce, and more that Alfred never had to become such a fatherly figure. He lived with Bruce’s parents, serving as the butler, and not much more. He is still fairly friendly, but there is not as much between he and Bruce as there typically is at all. Also, I’m not sure if this was an inside-joke, but there is one point where Alfred helps pick out something for Bruce to wear. He selects a brown coat and says, “This should be just the thing for your meeting.” In the DVD commentary, the crew has joked about Bruce’s sense of style, making fun of his typical mustard-yellow and brown combo. The way Alfred says it makes me wonder, but I could be looking way too much into it.
Perchance to Dream is mostly action free until the ending, but Dong Yang still manage to knock it out of the park. Their best work yet, and they especially shine during the climax. There were some incredibly beautiful shots, and other points in the story are great too. There were a couple instances where the animation was massively smooth, reminding me of the pilot The Dark Knight’s First Night. I’m wondering if they blew their budget on this one, and that is why their work on Robin’s Reckoning is so poor (coming soonish). Credit should also go to Boyd Kirkland who’s angles and ideas give us a sense of wonder at every step, even when fairly mundane. The voice cast does the same. I swear the police officer is voiced by the dude that did a bunch of trailers in the 90’s or early 2000’s. Because I am so used to hearing it in that environment, yes, it sounds very out of place in Batman, but in a good way. His delivery is startling, and it acts as icing on top of the dreamlike cake. While we’re on voices, though, it should be noted that Bruce doesn’t talk in his Batman voice for the majority of the story. if this is his natural speaking voice, I think he should have been. I’m sure there’s a way to make it sound happy. They did it in Batman Beyond. At the same time, lines like “I’ve never felt better in my life, sir” have such perfect delivery they make me tear up, and said any differently would not have been as stellar. Oh gosh, and Mad Hatter’s delivery. The anguish made you feel for him, and he is not a character I held any sympathy for previously. I found him to be the ultimate incel. Many people see him as a tragic character, he’s a creepy asshole who carries the dreaded “nice guy syndrome”. Does he mean well? Don’t know, don’t care. But hearing him scream at Batman, explaining that he was willing to give Batman the life he always wanted just to prevent him from being a bother anymore, it’s heart-breaking. He simply wants Batman out of the way, and he decided to do it humanely this time. I find this very interesting, and this Mad Hatter episode dwarfs Mad as a Hatter.
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Batman’s wipers come on after his car is coated in gunk. It’s the little details.
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Nothing good ever happens on catwalks in this show.
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Pictured here is a 13-year-old in the presence of Justin Bieber. Or whoever the kids listen to these days.
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Little known fact, the Batcave is very much there. But this is. obviously an episode where it’s located behind the bookshelf, not behind the clock. Silly Bruce! Must have forgotten to read that part of the script.
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Well no wonder he always wears that jacket with those options. 
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I’m wondering what types of things Bruce does with his parents still alive and all. Then again, nothing in this world exists beyond the boundaries of when the dream starts and ends.
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Bruce has been wanting Selena practically since her first appearance. But that face says it all. Is this relationship any more genuine than Mat Hatter and Alice’s?
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This is the point of the episode where I could really sense the gears in Char’s head working. It’s the point where things go from being wrong to impossible. 
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Notice the sign. 
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Love the movement of Batman’s cape.
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Some of the unusually smooth animation I mentioned before.
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Great takedown. Batman holds the guy and spins down a pole, making him so dizzy that he faints. 
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These two have the most conflicting colors on...
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“Then... The nightmare is over.”
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Kinda wish we saw Bruce shed a couple of tears.
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Not only is the text all jumbled up, but there also seems to be way more text than what would fit on the paper. Even more strange, we see a smiling Batman. 
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A look of madness on Bruce that we hardly ever see. it’s a great facial expression. 
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The text here is also unreadable. Also, we’re getting to the point of the episode where virtually every angle is perfect. So here is a series of shots:
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Boyd Kirkland and his team clearly cared a lot.
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Batman comes in mysteriously like a kite. It reminds me of when Dorothy was trapped in the tornado. 
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Bruce gets a taste of what criminals get almost every night.
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Seriously, how can a figure with cute little bat-ears be so threatening-looking?
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The Mad Hatter’s model isn’t quite as finicky this time around, and while I still feel that it was probably hard to translate to animation, it works a lot better. He looks like he belongs on the show.
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Look at that smug face. He is sure that Bruce will never escape. I also like the thought of Bruce reaching a waking point, so even though he’s still asleep, he still picks up conversation going on around him. His subconscious recognizes Jarvis’ voice, and that’s how dream-Bruce was able to reveal the truth. But that’s just my interpretation. 
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Bruce took a gamble, and you can tell by his expression that he may regret jumping. He truthfully has no idea if this will do the trick or not.
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This is weird, but I love the shape of Batman’s eye here. 
Char’s grade: A Next time: The Cape and Cowl Conspiracy
Full episode list here!
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pamphletstoinspire · 6 years
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Porn’s Harm Is Changing Fast
Skeptics of pornography’s danger point out that porn has been around a long time. After all, the ancient Greeks painted sexual images on their pottery. But comparing paintings on Greek vases to today’s endless stream of live-action, hardcore videos is like comparing apples to…um…kumquats. Technology is changing not only the content of porn, but how, when, and at what age it’s being consumed.
The year was 1953, and Hugh Heffner had just published the first copy of Playboy.
Sex had just started to become a more prominent part of American’s cultural conversation, partly because of Dr. Alfred Kinsey who, five years earlier, had published a controversial but extremely popular book on sexuality. [1] He was heralded as one of the first scientists and writers to talk so openly about sexuality, and his books went flying off the shelves. [2]
Heffner saw a chance to make money from the changing cultural views about sex. But to maximize sales of his new magazine he had to change porn’s image from something your friend’s creepy relative might read to something sophisticated and mainstream. So Heffner put his pornographic photos next to essays and articles written by respected authors. In Playboy, porn started to look like nothing more than harmless pleasure engaged in by respectable and successful individuals.
Flash forward to the 1980s, when VCRs suddenly made it possible for people to watch movies at home. [3] For porn consumers, that meant that instead of having to go to seedy movie theaters on the wrong side of town, they just went to the back room at their local movie rental place. Sure, they still had to go out to find it, but porn was a lot more accessible.
And then the internet changed everything. [4][5]
Once porn hit the Web in the 1990s, suddenly there was nothing but a few keystrokes between anyone with an internet connection and the most graphic material available. [4] The online porn industry exploded. Between 1998 and 2007, the number of pornographic websites grew by 1,800%. [6] By 2004, porn sites were getting three times more visitors than Google, Yahoo!, and MSN Search put together. [7] It was “big business” in a way the world had never seen before. Thirty percent of all internet data was related to porn, [8] and worldwide porn revenues (including internet, sex shops, videos rented in hotel rooms, etc.) grew to exceed the incomes of Microsoft, Google, Amazon, eBay, Yahoo!, Apple, Netflix, and Earthlink combined! [9]
As internet porn grew more popular, it also turned darker, more graphic, and more extreme. (See Why Consuming Porn Is An Escalating Behavior.) With so much porn available, pornographers tried to compete for attention by constantly pushing the boundaries. [10] “Thirty years ago ‘hardcore’ pornography usually meant the explicit depiction of sexual intercourse,” writes Dr. Norman Doidge, a neuroscientist and author of The Brain That Changes Itself. “Now hardcore has evolved and is increasingly dominated by the sadomasochistic themes … all involving scripts fusing sex with hatred and humiliation.” [11] In our post-Playboy world, porn now features degradation, abuse, and humiliation of people in a way never before seen in the mass media. [12] “[S]oftcore is now what hardcore was a few decades ago,” Doidge explains. “The comparatively tame softcore pictures of yesteryear … now show up on mainstream media all day long, in the pornification of everything, including television, rock videos, soap operas, advertisements, and so on.” [13]
As the popularity of internet porn grew like wildfire, so did its influence. Network television shows, pay-per-view channel series, and movies began to up the ante with more and more graphic content as they scrambled to keep the attention of audiences accustomed to internet porn. [14] Between 1998 and 2005, the number of sex scenes on American TV shows nearly doubled, [15] and it wasn’t just happening on adult programs. In a study conducted in 2004 and 2005, 70% of the 20 TV shows most often watched by teens included sexual content, and nearly half showed sexual behavior. [16] And for the first time, porn was becoming a routine part of teen life and a major way adolescents learned about sex. [17]
By now, porn’s effects have soaked into every aspect of our lives. [18] Popular video games now feature full nudity. [19] Snowboards marketed to teens are plastered with images of porn performers. [20] Even children’s toys have become more sexualized. [21]
Technology has changed not only the content of the porn, but also how, when, and at what age they consume it. Young men and women are all presented with the issue of today’s porn, and studies show that by the time they turn 14 years old, two out of three boys in the U.S. have viewed porn in the last year, [22] and many are watching it on devices they have with them 24 hours a day.
And for all of these changes to the nature and reach of today’s pornography, we haven’t even mentioned the most disturbing development of all: human trafficking. The modern-day slave trade (and there is one) is fueled by pornography. Over two-thirds of all calls to the National Human Trafficking Resource Center involve sex trafficking—an estimated 21 million victims worldwide [23], and in one survey, 63% of underage sex trafficking victims said they had been advertised or sold online [24].
This is not a Third World problem. Sex trafficking, and its dissemination through online pornographic sites, extends beyond prostitution and child trafficking rings to the many “revenge porn” sites, to the coercion, drugging, and/or physical abuse of porn performers, wannabe models, and runaways right here in the United States. Human trafficking includes any “commercial sex act induced by force, fraud, or coercion.” [25] (See How Porn Fuels Sex Trafficking.)
In fact, exposure to porn has been found, along with poverty, drug abuse, and homelessness, to be one of the most consistent risk factors associated with human trafficking. [26] And after victims are ensnared, porn is often used to desensitize them to the acts in which they will be forced to engage. Quite literally, porn feeds human trafficking and human trafficking feeds porn. [27]
The argument that porn is nothing new—that it’s been around forever and never caused any great harm—seems pretty silly when you think about how different today’s porn is from anything that existed before. Porn is incomparably more accessible, more widespread, and more extreme than anything that existed even a generation ago. Those centerfold magazines that were passed around among youth in previous generations were nothing compared to what youth have access to today, [28] and the consequences of looking today go far beyond young people hoping their parents don’t find out.
The good news is that in response to the unprecedented spread of pornography there are an unprecedented number of resources and people who want to help, whether by spreading facts about pornography or helping those who feel caught in its undertow. Today’s pornography is a new phenomenon, unlike anything humankind has ever seen, but the things that can push porn back are as old as humanity itself: wisdom, vigilance, and a commitment to real love.
Citations
[1] Brown, T. M., & Fee, E. (2003). Alfred C. Kinsey: A Pioneer Of Sex Research. American Journal Of Public Health 93(6), 896-897. Retrieved From Ncbi.Nlm.Nih.Go..cles/PMC1447862
[2] Mestel, R. (2004, November 15). The Kinsey Effect. Los Angeles Times. Retrieved From Articles.Latime..lth/He-Kinsey15
[3] Kalman, T.P. (2008). Clinical Encounters With Internet Pornography. Journal Of The American Academy Of Psychoanalysis And Dynamic Psychiatry, 36(4) 593-618. Doi:10.1521/Jaap.2008.36.4.593; McAline, D. (2001). Interview On American Porn. Frontline, PBS, August.
[4] Layden, M. A. (2010). Pornography And Violence: A New Look At The Research. In J. Stoner & D. Hughes (Eds.) The Social Costs Of Pornography: A Collection Of Papers (Pp. 57–68). Princeton, NJ: Witherspoon Institute; Kalman, T.P. (2008). Clinical Encounters With Internet Pornography. Journal Of The American Academy Of Psychoanalysis And Dynamic Psychiatry, 36(4) 593-618. Doi:10.1521/Jaap.2008.36.4.593;
[5] Paul, P. (2007). Pornified: How Pornography Is Transforming Our Lives, Our Relationships, And Our Families. New York: Henry Hold & Co., 3; McCarthy, B. W. (2002). The Wife’s Role In Facilitating Recovery From Male Compulsive Sexual Behavior. Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity 9, 4: 275–84. Doi:10.1080/10720160216045; Schneider, J. P. (2000). Effects Of Cybersex Addiction On The Family: Results Of A Survey. Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 7(1-2), 31–58. Retrieved From Jenniferschneid..sex_family.Html
[6] Websense Research Shows Online Pornography Sites Continue Strong Growth. (2004). PRNewswire.Com, April 4.
[7] Porn More Popular Than Search. (2004). InternetWeek.Com, June 4.
[8] Negash, S., Van Ness Sheppard, N., Lambert, N. M., & Fincham, F. D. (2016). Trading Later Rewards For Current Pleasure: Pornography Consumption And Delay Discounting. Journal Of Sex Research, 53(6), 689-700. Doi:10.1080/00224499.2015.1025123; Porn Sites Get More Visitors Each Month Than Netflix, Amazon, & Twitter Combined. (2013, May 4). Huffington Post. Retrieved From Huffingtonpost..._n_3187682.Html
[9] DeKeseredy, W. (2015). Critical Criminological Understandings Of Adult Pornography And Women Abuse: New Progressive Directions In Research And Theory. International Journal For Crime, Justice, And Social Democracy, 4(4) 4-21. Doi:10.5204/Ijcjsd.V4i4.184
[10] Woods, J. (2012). Jamie Is 13 And Hasn’t Even Kissed A Girl. But He’s Now On The Sex Offender Register After Online Porn Warped His Mind. Daily Mail (U.K.), April 25.
[11] Doidge, N. (2007). The Brain That Changes Itself. New York: Penguin Books.
[12] DeKeseredy, W. (2015). Critical Criminological Understandings Of Adult Pornography And Women Abuse: New Progressive Directions In Research And Theory. International Journal For Crime, Justice, And Social Democracy, 4(4) 4-21. Doi:10.5204/Ijcjsd.V4i4.184
[13] Doidge, N. (2007). The Brain That Changes Itself. New York: Penguin Books.
[14] Caro, M. (2004). The New Skin Trade. Chicago Tribune, September 19.
[15] Kunkel, D., Eyal, K., Finnerty, K., Biely, E., And Donnerstein, E. (2005). Sex On TV 4. Menlo Park, CA: The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation.
[16] Peter, J. And Valkenburg, P. M. (2007). Adolescents’ Exposure To A Sexualized Media Environment And Their Notions Of Women As Sex Objects. Sex Roles 56,(5-6), Doi:381–95.10.1007/S11199-006-9176-Y
[17] Peter, J. & Valkenburg, P. M., (2016) Adolescents And Pornography: A Review Of 20 Years Of Research. Journal Of Sex Research, 53(4-5), 509-531. Doi:10.1080/00224499.2016.1143441; Rothman, E. F., Kaczmarsky, C., Burke, N., Jansen, E., & Baughman, A. (2015). “Without Porn…I Wouldn’t Know Half The Things I Know Now”: A Qualitative Study Of Pornography Use Among A Sample Of Urban, Low-Income, Black And Hispanic Youth. Journal Of Sex Research, 52(7), 736-746. Doi:10.1080/00224499.2014.960908; Paul, P. (2010). From Pornography To Porno To Porn: How Porn Became The Norm. In J. Stoner & D. Hughes (Eds.) The Social Costs Of Pornography: A Collection Of Papers (Pp. 3–20). Princeton, N.J.: Witherspoon Institute; Carroll, J. S., Padilla-Walker, L. M., And Nelson, L. J. (2008). Generation XXX: Pornography Acceptance And Use Among Emerging Adults. Journal Of Adolescent Research, 23(1), 6–30. Doi:10.1177/0743558407306348
[18] Bridges, A. J. (2010). Pornography’s Effect On Interpersonal Relationships. In J. Stoner And D. Hughes (Eds.) The Social Costs Of Pornography: A Collection Of Papers (Pp. 89-110). Princeton, NJ: Witherspoon Institute; Paul, P. (2010). From Pornography To Porno To Porn: How Porn Became The Norm. In J. Stoner And D. Hughes (Eds.) The Social Costs Of Pornography: A Collection Of Papers (Pp. 3–20). Princeton, N.J.: Witherspoon Institute; Doidge, N. (2007). The Brain That Changes Itself. New York: Penguin Books, 102; Caro, M. (2004). The New Skin Trade. Chicago Tribune, September 19.
[19] Paul, P. (2010). From Pornography To Porno To Porn: How Porn Became The Norm. In J. Stoner And D. Hughes (Eds.) The Social Costs Of Pornography: A Collection Of Papers (Pp. 3–20). Princeton, N.J.: Witherspoon Institute.
[20] Paul, P. (2010). From Pornography To Porno To Porn: How Porn Became The Norm. In J. Stoner And D. Hughes (Eds.) The Social Costs Of Pornography: A Collection Of Papers (Pp. 3–20). Princeton, N.J.: Witherspoon Institute.
[21] Bridges, A. J. (2010). Pornography’s Effect On Interpersonal Relationships. In J. Stoner And D. Hughes (Eds.) The Social Costs Of Pornography: A Collection Of Papers (Pp. 89-110). Princeton, NJ: Witherspoon Institute.
[22] Rothman, E. F., Kaczmarsky, C., Burke, N., Jansen, E., & Baughman, A. (2015). “Without Porn…I Wouldn’t Know Half The Things I Know Now”: A Qualitative Study Of Pornography Use Among A Sample Of Urban, Low-Income, Black And Hispanic Youth. Journal Of Sex Research, 52(7), 736-746. Doi:10.1080/00224499.2014.960908
[23] University Of New England, “Human Sex Trafficking: An Online Epidemic #Infographic” (2015). Retreived By Visualistan.Com..e-Epidemic.Html
[24] Thorn, “A Report On The Use Of Technology To Recruit, Groom, And Sell Domestic Minor Sex Trafficking Victim (2015). Retrieved From Wearethorn.Org/..r_Survey_r5.Pdf
[25] Trafficking Victims Protection Act (TVPA) Of 2000. Pub. L. No. 106-386, Section 103 (8) (A).
[26] Countryman-Roswurm, Karen (2017). Primed For Perpetration: Porn And The Perpetuation Of Sex Trafficking. Guest Blog For FTND, Retrieved From Fightthenewdrug..ing-Pornography
[27] Dr. Karen Countryman-Roswurm, LMSW, Ph.D. Interview || Truth About Porn [Video File]. (2016, December 28). Retrieved From Vimeo.Com/190317258
[28] Price, J., Patterson, R., Regnerus, M., & Walley, J. (2016). How Much More XXX Is Generation X Consuming? Evidence Of Changing Attitudes And Behaviors Related To Pornography Since 1973. Journal Of Sex Research, 53(1), 12-20. Doi:10.1080/00224499.2014.1003773
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fxikb0ay-blog · 5 years
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kentucky insurance and investment group
kentucky insurance and investment group
kentucky insurance and investment group
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hottytoddynews · 6 years
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John Croyle refers to the ranch kids as his sons and daughters.
He was a college football star in the SEC and played for one of the greatest coaches in sports. An NFL career beckoned, but God, as John Croyle likes to tell it, had a different plan for him.
A plan to minister children at risk. Orphaned kids with no place to turn. Some who’d suffered traumas no child should ever have to endure.
Croyle grew up in Gadsden, Alabama, and suffered his own traumas. When he was five years old, his four-year-old sister Lisa was killed in a tragic accident. “That loss has made me love more deeply,” he said.
Croyle’s father worked for Sears, and his mother was a secretary. They provided a strong foundation for him to accomplish anything he wanted with his life. And young John had plans. He decided at the age of 7 that he was going to play football at the University of Alabama and for Coach Bear Bryant.
It’s a dream many Alabama boys have. Few live it.
By the 9th grade, Croyle was 6’3″ and a natural athlete. Excelling on the gridiron came easy to him in high school, where he was a standout. It wasn’t until his freshman year at Alabama that he faced real adversity: His knee was badly mangled, and the injury appeared to be of the career-ending variety.
Croyle, who up until that day had been a typical cocky jock, was humbled. And terrified. “I remember Coach Bryant saying, ‘What a waste, son, your career’s over,’” Croyle said.
That injury changed the course of Croyle’s life and shaped his character.  “I had never had to work for anything in my life. Many, many nights I cried myself to sleep. But I worked to rehabilitate my knee.”
It took eight operations and nearly 18 months — but Croyle returned to the field. During his years at Alabama, he learned how to win. Coach Bryant made sure of that. “We lost one regular season game my last year, and we should have won that one,” said Croyle. “Winning was understood.” He played in three big bowl games, won a national championship in 1973 and was an all-SEC player.
But the desire to help young orphaned boys kept tugging at him. Croyle was 19 and working as a camp counselor in Mississippi when he met a boy in circumstances most people can’t imagine. “His mom was a prostitute, and he was her banker and timekeeper,” Croyle said. “I met him later, and he’d remembered what I’d told him and had become a Christian.”
That’s when the big idea was born: establishing a home for children like this boy. He knew what God wanted him to do with his life but wasn’t sure what road to take to get there. He figured he’d play in the NFL for a while, save up money, then open the ranch.
He bounced the idea off the man who’d been a father figure to him at Alabama, Coach Bryant. The advice he got wasn’t what most people would expect from the man who ran what many believe was the NFL’s best farm team.
“When I told him that I wanted to pay for the home with the money I made in the NFL, Coach told me, ‘Don’t play professional ball unless you’re willing to marry it,’ ” Croyle said. “I walked out the door and never looked back.”
Bryant became an early supporter of Croyle’s dream. So, too, did friend and former teammate, John Hanna. The All-American kicked in his $30,000 signing bonus from the New England Patriots to help buy the boys’ ranch property in 1973, back when $30,000 was real money.
Big Oak Ranch began in 1974 in an old farmhouse near Gadsden. Since then, Croyle has been a father to over 2,000 orphaned, neglected and unwanted children. Through the years, children who’ve suffered from every abuse imaginable have found shelter at his ranch.
By his side from the beginning was his wife, Teresa. They raised daughter Reagan and son Brodie at the ranch: Reagan played basketball at the University of Alabama, was crowned Homecoming Queen, and modeled internationally in places like Milan, while brother Brodie starred as quarterback at Alabama and played with the Kansas City Chiefs in the NFL. Both have since returned to the ranch, and are now essentially running the place.
John and Tee had a simple goal when they started the ranch: Build the finest children’s home in America. And they have. There are now three separate facilities in Northeast Alabama: Big Oak Boys’ Ranch in Gadsden, Big Oak Girls’ Ranch in Springville, and Westbrook Christian School, Inc., in Rainbow City.
Big Oak Girls’ Ranch exists today because of a girl named Shelley, Croyle explained. “I’m in the hallway of the courthouse,” said Croyle. “A girl with honey-blonde hair and green eyes is there, beaten up. Her dad had raped her while her mom held her down.” Croyle asked for custody; the judge refused because the ranch didn’t have accommodations for girls.
“I told the judge, ‘She’ll be dead in six months.’”
Croyle was wrong. “It took Shelley’s dad three months to kill her,” he said.
Today, a white plaster cast of a girl with a horse commemorates Shelley in the ranch’s Hall of Honor.
Both the boys’ and girls’ ranches are sprawling campuses with pools, tennis courts, ball fields, horses and gyms. Children live in homes that would fit into any ordinary suburban neighborhood. They live with kids of varying ages and with house parents chosen carefully by the Croyles.
“We’re like a real family,” said one girl who lives at the ranch. “There’s always something to do here.”
But the Big Oak Ranch founder also expects a lot from his kids and demands that they shoulder their share of family responsibilities. Even the youngest residents help with chores. When they get older, they work at jobs on and off the ranch. Cars, donated by generous donors, are available to those old enough to drive, but the kids have to earn the money to buy them and pay for insurance.
Croyle refers to the ranch kids as his sons and daughters. The ranch helps pay college tuition, too, when needed.
“And we pay for our daughters’ weddings,” said Croyle. “That’s what fathers do.” 
Though they’re a half hour drive apart, the nearly 150 acres that make up the boys’ ranch and the 325 acres of the girls’ ranch share similar characteristics. Both have pristine rural landscapes, lots of rolling hills, clear lakes and meadows. Deer roam in the woods, horses graze in the pasture, geese glide about everywhere, and fish even occasionally jump out of the carefully stocked lakes.
Indeed, the ranch has the feel of a rural retreat, and that’s as Croyle intended it.
“These kids deserve the best we can provide,” he loves to tell anyone who’ll listen. It’s hard to disagree.
When children come to the ranch, they move into a 6-bedroom, 4-bath brick home with siblings and a set of house parents who’ve made a long-term commitment to provide love, structure, discipline, and faith to the children entrusted to them. The kids soon learn that someone cares about them and loves them. They also soon learn a work ethic, and financial lessons, too. They learn to be part of a family and what that means. And they learn that God is an ever-present part of their lives.
John gives every child who comes to the ranch this assurance: “I love you. I’ll never lie to you. I’ll stick with you until you’re grown. There are boundaries — don’t cross them.” He believes these four promises cover the bedrocks to parenting a child. “My job is to give them the emotional support, security and discipline they need because their parents didn’t want the job,” John Croyle explained.
He also talks a lot about setting goals and having plans, and most important, setting the right example for his kids. “You’ve got to do what’s right, and example outlives advice,” Croyle explains. “Children listen with their eyes. They don’t listen with their ears.”
Croyle also teaches his kids to stand up for themselves. He recalled a story about his daughter coming home from school when she was in the 7th grade, and telling him she punched a boy in the chest. He was 6’7” tall, and his nickname was Big’un.
“She said he was making fun of the ranch girls,” Croyle said. “I’m not condoning hitting or fighting. But I told my kids you will never get in trouble for defending someone. That’s missing today. When someone is being bullied, someone has to step in and say, ‘Stop.'”
Croyle learned a lot of his life lessons from Coach Bryant. And a lot about teaching young people.
“Coach was demanding of his players in the same way parents should be demanding of their children,” Croyle explained.
Practices were always harder than games, he said. “Coach would say, ‘If you’ll quit on Tuesday, you’re definitely going to quit on Saturday.’ We practiced so hard all week, that game day was the easiest day of the week. It’s not whether you were going to win, it’s how much you’re going to win by. In three years, we lost one regular season game a year. We were 34-4.”
“We feared Coach Bryant,” Croyle continued. “Not physical fear, and not from abuse or anything else. We were afraid to disappoint him.”
And Bryant rarely complimented his players. “I’ve copied him in this,” Croyle said. “He wasn’t one to throw out compliments. But when he did, you knew he meant it.”
And Bryant often motivated players by challenging them to do better. “One time we played LSU,” Croyle recalled. “I hit the quarterback three times just as after he threw the ball. Coach Bryant walked over to me and said, ‘When are you gonna get him?’ That’s all I had to hear. He was good at taking already motivated people and steering them the way he wanted them to go.”
Parents are not demanding enough of their children, Croyle said. “We’re raising people who give up,” he said. “It’s too easy to quit. Don’t ever, ever, ever give up.”
One of the young girls Croyle didn’t quit on, and who didn’t quit on herself, wrote a note explaining why the ranch should adopt her. Here are excerpts from what she wrote to the Big Oak Ranch:
“Please except [sic] me to the Girls Ranch … Please give me a chance. Everywhere I’ve been they din’t want me, or they were mean to me, so I understand if you don’t want me because nobody else does … My dad did bad stuff to me and my brother that I’m not proud about — drugs … through us up against the wall … I need a permanent home because I’ve been bounced back and forth 10X from house to house … you gave my brother a chance … I think I would love the BIG Oak Ranch…”
John Croyle loves to pull out that original sheet of paper from his pocket and share it with people. But the note serves another purpose: It’s a reminder of why he does what he does. That there is always another child out there who needs help.
John Croyle also loves to carry one other piece of paper around with him, with these three questions that keep him on track:
What has God called you to do?
Are you doing it?
What is the fruit of questions 1 and 2?
That fruit is evident everywhere you turn at the Big Oak Ranch, in the pictures that adorn the hallways and homes. Passing through the school with Croyle late in the spring, it was a joy for this author to watch kids in the hall attempt to high-five Croyle, who towers over them — and me — at 6’7.
The love in the room is apparent, as is the joy. These children, all of them, owe their lives to John, Tee, Reagan and Brodie. But don’t ever say that to any of the Croyle clan, because they’ll tell you quickly you have things backwards: They owe their lives and their happiness to these children.
One thing is certain: Stories like John Croyle’s need to be told and imitated. Because the hope and change that so many social engineers and social justice warriors talk about is present at every turn at the Big Oak Ranch. And without a single penny from the government or the taxpayers. God’s love is everywhere. Cycles of despair, violence and lovelessness have been altered forever in this part of the world in Northeastern Alabama.
As for how he stays spiritually connected to God, Croyle says he tries to keep things simple, and live by 2 Corinthians 5:9: “Let this be our one ambition, whether at home or absent — to be pleasing unto him.”
Croyle is hoping he’ll inspire more men to be pleasing to God. Worldly success, he likes to remind men in particular, is fleeting.
Croyle success is anything but fleeting. He loves to tell the story of a man he bumped into in a store who was once a child of his at his ranch. “I’m in Blockbuster to get a video,” said Croyle. “A big guy comes up to me and says, ‘Hey, Mr. John, remember me?’ He introduces his wife. Then he says, ‘This is my baby girl.’ He said, ‘I’m a manager and my house is paid for.’ “He said, ‘Mr. John, I made it.’ ”
Croyle has learned a lot about raising kids in the 40-plus years he’s been doing it. And a whole lot about orphans. He’s got his own way of thinking about the word.
“I’ve learned there are four kinds of orphans,” John explained. “If you were raised by someone other than your biological mother or father, you are a physical orphan. If your dad has told you your whole life, ‘You’re not going to amount to anything. Can’t you do anything right?’ That’s a mental orphan. If you never had your dad hug you and say, ‘I am so proud of you,’ that’s an emotional orphan. And spiritually, we’re all orphans. And Jesus says, ‘Come and join my family.’”
John Croyle has been a father to over 2,000 orphans. He’s watched them grow into confident young people, living their lives with a hope and a purpose founded in faith. That’s some pretty remarkable fruit, and a remarkable answer to those big life questions John carries in his pocket.
“A hundred years from now it will not matter what kind of house we lived in, the kind of car we drove or how much money we had in the bank, but the world may be different because you and I were important in the life of a child.”
What a great message this Father’s Day from a man who knows more than most men about being one.
Lee Habeeb is VP of content for Salem Radio Network and host of “Our American Stories.” He lives in Oxford, Mississippi, with his wife, Valerie, and his daughter, Reagan.
This story was originally published on LifeZette.com. 
The post John Croyle: Celebrating a Father of 2,000-Plus Orphans appeared first on HottyToddy.com.
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hottytoddynews · 7 years
Link
John Croyle refers to the ranch kids as his sons and daughters.
He was a college football star in the SEC, and played for one of the greatest coaches in sports. An NFL career beckoned, but God, as John Croyle likes to tell it, had a different plan for him.
A plan to minister children at risk. Orphaned kids with no place to turn. Some who’d suffered traumas no child should ever have to endure.
Croyle grew up in Gadsden, Alabama, and suffered his own traumas. When he was five years old, his 4-year-old sister Lisa was killed in a tragic accident. “That loss has made me love more deeply,” he said.
Croyle’s father worked for Sears, and his mother was a secretary. They provided a strong foundation for him to accomplish anything we wanted with his life. And young John had plans. He decided at the age of 7 that he was going to play football at the University of Alabama, and for Coach Bear Bryant.
It’s a dream many Alabama boys have. Few live it.
By the 9th grade, Croyle was 6’3″ and a natural athlete. Excelling on the gridiron came easy to him in high school, where he was a standout. It wasn’t until his freshman year at Alabama that he faced real adversity: His knee was badly mangled, and the injury appeared to be of the career-ending variety.
Croyle, who up until that day had been a typical cocky jock, was humbled. And terrified. “I remember Coach Bryant saying, ‘What a waste, son, your career’s over,’” Croyle said.
That injury changed the course of Croyle’s life and shaped his character.  “I had never had to work for anything in my life. Many, many nights I cried myself to sleep. But I worked to rehabilitate my knee.”
It took eight operations and nearly 18 months — but Croyle returned to the field. During his years at Alabama, he learned how to win. Coach Bryant made sure of that. “We lost one regular season game my last year, and we should have won that one,” said Croyle. “Winning was understood.” He played in three big bowl games, won a national championship in 1973, and was an all-SEC player.
But the desire to help young orphaned boys kept tugging at him. Croyle was 19 and working as a camp counselor in Mississippi when he met a boy in circumstances most people can’t imagine. “His mom was a prostitute, and he was her banker and timekeeper,” Croyle said. “I met him later, and he’d remembered what I’d told him and had become a Christian.”
That’s when the big idea was born: establishing a home for children like this boy. He knew what God wanted him to do with his life, but wasn’t sure what road to take to get there. He figured he’d play in the NFL for a while, save up money, then open the ranch.
He bounced the idea off the man who’d been a father figure to him at Alabama, Coach Bryant. The advice he got wasn’t what most people would expect from the man who ran what many believe was the NFL’s best farm team.
“When I told him that I wanted to pay for the home with the money I made in the NFL, Coach told me, ‘Don’t play professional ball unless you’re willing to marry it,’ ” Croyle said. “I walked out the door and never looked back.”
Bryant became an early supporter of Croyle’s dream. So, too, did friend and former teammate, John Hanna. The All-American kicked in his $30,000 signing bonus from the New England Patriots to help buy the boys’ ranch property in 1973, back when $30,000 was real money.
Big Oak Ranch began in 1974 in an old farmhouse near Gadsden. Since then, Croyle has been a father to over 2,000 orphaned, neglected and unwanted children. Through the years, children who’ve suffered from every abuse imaginable have found shelter at his ranch.
By his side from the beginning was his wife, Teresa. They raised daughter Reagan and son Brodie at the ranch: Reagan played basketball at the University of Alabama, was crowned Homecoming Queen, and modeled internationally in places like Milan, while brother Brodie starred as quarterback at Alabama and played with the Kansas City Chiefs in the NFL. Both have since returned to the ranch, and are now essentially running the place.
John and Tee had a simple goal when they started the ranch: Build the finest children’s home in America. And they have. There are now three separate facilities in Northeast Alabama: Big Oak Boys’ Ranch in Gadsden, Big Oak Girls’ Ranch in Springville, and Westbrook Christian School, Inc., in Rainbow City.
Big Oak Girls’ Ranch exists today because of a girl named Shelley, Croyle explained. “I’m in the hallway of the courthouse,” said Croyle. “A girl with honey-blonde hair and green eyes is there, beaten up. Her dad had raped her while her mom held her down.” Croyle asked for custody; the judge refused because the ranch didn’t have accommodations for girls.
“I told the judge, ‘She’ll be dead in six months.’”
Croyle was wrong. “It took Shelley’s dad three months to kill her,” he said.
Today, a white plaster cast of a girl with a horse commemorates Shelley in the ranch’s Hall of Honor.
Both the boys’ and girls’ ranches are sprawling campuses with pools, tennis courts, ball fields, horses and gyms. Children live in homes that would fit into any ordinary suburban neighborhood. They live with kids of varying ages and with house parents chosen carefully by the Croyles.
“We’re like a real family,” said one girl who lives at the ranch. “There’s always something to do here.”
But the Big Oak Ranch founder also expects a lot from his kids, and demands that they shoulder their share of family responsibilities. Even the youngest residents help with chores. When they get older, they work at jobs on and off the ranch. Cars, donated by generous donors, are available to those old enough to drive, but the kids have to earn the money to buy them and pay for insurance.
Croyle refers to the ranch kids as his sons and daughters. The ranch helps pay college tuition, too, when needed.
“And we pay for our daughters’ weddings,” said Croyle. “That’s what fathers do.” 
Though they’re a half hour drive apart, the nearly 150 acres that make up the boys’ ranch and the 325 acres of the girls’ ranch share similar characteristics. Both have pristine rural landscapes, lots of rolling hills, clear lakes and meadows. Deer roam in the woods, horses graze in the pasture, geese glide about everywhere, and fish even occasionally jump out of the carefully stocked lakes.
Indeed, the ranch has the feel of a rural retreat, and that’s as Croyle intended it.
“These kids deserve the best we can provide,” he loves to tell anyone who’ll listen. It’s hard to disagree.
When children come to the ranch, they move into a 6-bedroom, 4-bath brick home with siblings and a set of house parents who’ve made a long-term commitment to provide love, structure, discipline, and faith to the children entrusted to them. The kids soon learn that someone cares about them and loves them. They also soon learn a work ethic, and financial lessons, too. They learn to be part of a family and what that means. And they learn that God is an ever-present part of their lives.
John gives every child who comes to the ranch this assurance: “I love you. I’ll never lie to you. I’ll stick with you until you’re grown. There are boundaries — don’t cross them.” He believes these four promises cover the bedrocks to parenting a child. “My job is to give them the emotional support, security and discipline they need because their parents didn’t want the job,” John Croyle explained.
He also talks a lot about setting goals and having plans, and most important, setting the right example for his kids. “You’ve got to do what’s right, and example outlives advice,” Croyle explains. “Children listen with their eyes. They don’t listen with their ears.”
Croyle also teaches his kids to stand up for themselves. He recalled a story about his daughter coming home from school when she was in the 7th grade, and telling him she punched a boy in the chest. He was 6’7” tall, and his nickname was Big’un.
“She said he was making fun of the ranch girls,” Croyle said. “I’m not condoning hitting or fighting. But I told my kids you will never get in trouble for defending someone. That’s missing today. When someone is being bullied, someone has to step in and say, ‘Stop.'”
Croyle learned a lot of his life lessons from Coach Bryant. And a lot about teaching young people.
“Coach was demanding of his players in the same way parents should be demanding of their children,” Croyle explained.
  Practices were always harder than games, he said. “Coach would say, ‘If you’ll quit on Tuesday, you’re definitely going to quit on Saturday.’ We practiced so hard all week, that game day was the easiest day of the week. It’s not whether you were going to win, it’s how much you’re going to win by. In three years, we lost one regular season game a year. We were 34-4.”
“We feared Coach Bryant,” Croyle continued. “Not physical fear, and not from abuse or anything else. We were afraid to disappoint him.”
And Bryant rarely complimented his players. “I’ve copied him in this,” Croyle said. “He wasn’t one to throw out compliments. But when he did, you knew he meant it.”
And Bryant often motivated players by challenging them to do better. “One time we played LSU,” Croyle recalled. “I hit the quarterback three times just as after he threw the ball. Coach Bryant walked over to me and said, ‘When are you gonna get him?’ That’s all I had to hear. He was good at taking already motivated people and steering them the way he wanted them to go.”
Parents are not demanding enough of their children, Croyle said. “We’re raising people who give up,” he said. “It’s too easy to quit. Don’t ever, ever, ever give up.”
One of the young girls Croyle didn’t quit on, and who didn’t quit on herself, wrote a note explaining why the ranch should adopt her. Here are excerpts from what she wrote to the Big Oak Ranch:
“Please except [sic] me to the Girls Ranch … Please give me a chance. Everywhere I’ve been they din’t want me, or they were mean to me, so I understand if you don’t want me because nobody else does … My dad did bad stuff to me and my brother that I’m not proud about — drugs … through us up against the wall … I need a permanent home because I’ve been bounced back and forth 10X from house to house … you gave my brother a chance … I think I would love the BIG Oak Ranch…”
John Croyle loves to pull out that original sheet of paper from his pocket and share it with people. But the note serves another purpose: It’s a reminder of why he does what he does. That there is always another child out there who needs help.
John Croyle also loves to carry one other piece of paper around with him, with these three questions that keep him on track:
What has God called you to do?
Are you doing it?
What is the fruit of questions 1 and 2?
That fruit is evident everywhere you turn at the Big Oak Ranch, in the pictures that adorn the hallways and homes. Passing through the school with Croyle late in the spring, it was a joy for this author to watch kids in the hall attempt to high-five Croyle, who towers over them — and me — at 6’7.
The love in the room is apparent, as is the joy. These children, all of them, owe their lives to John, Tee, Reagan and Brodie. But don’t ever say that to any of the Croyle clan, because they’ll tell you quickly you have things backwards: They owe their lives and their happiness to these children.
One thing is certain: Stories like John Croyle’s need to be told and imitated. Because the hope and change that so many social engineers and social justice warriors talk about is present at every turn at the Big Oak Ranch. And without a single penny from the government or the taxpayers. God’s love is everywhere. Cycles of despair, violence and lovelessness have been altered forever in this part of the world in Northeastern Alabama.
As for how he stays spiritually connected to God, Croyle says he tries to keep things simple, and live by 2 Corinthians 5:9: “Let this be our one ambition, whether at home or absent — to be pleasing unto him.”
Croyle is hoping he’ll inspire more men to be pleasing to God. Worldly success, he likes to remind men in particular, is fleeting.
Croyle success is anything but fleeting. He loves to tell the story of a man he bumped into in a store who was once a child of his at his ranch. “I’m in Blockbuster to get a video,” said Croyle. “A big guy comes up to me and says, ‘Hey, Mr. John, remember me?’ He introduces his wife. Then he says, ‘This is my baby girl.’ He said, ‘I’m a manager and my house is paid for.’ “He said, ‘Mr. John, I made it.’ ”
Croyle has learned a lot about raising kids in the 40-plus years he’s been doing it. And a whole lot about orphans. He’s got his own way of thinking about the word.
“I’ve learned there are four kinds of orphans,” John explained. “If you were raised by someone other than your biological mother or father, you are a physical orphan. If your dad has told you your whole life, ‘You’re not going to amount to anything. Can’t you do anything right?’ That’s a mental orphan. If you never had your dad hug you and say, ‘I am so proud of you,’ that’s an emotional orphan. And spiritually, we’re all orphans. And Jesus says, ‘Come and join my family.’”
John Croyle has been a father to over 2,000 orphans. He’s watched them grow into confident young people, living their lives with a hope and a purpose founded in faith. That’s some pretty remarkable fruit, and a remarkable answer to those big life questions John carries in his pocket.
“A hundred years from now it will not matter what kind of house we lived in, the kind of car we drove or how much money we had in the bank, but the world may be different because you and I were important in the life of a child.”
What a great message this Father’s Day from a man who knows more than most men about being one.
Lee Habeeb is VP of content for Salem Radio Network and host of “Our American Stories.” He lives in Oxford, Mississippi, with his wife, Valerie, and his daughter, Reagan.
This story was originally published on LifeZette.com. 
The post LifeZette: Celebrating a Father of 2,000-Plus Orphans appeared first on HottyToddy.com.
0 notes
hottytoddynews · 7 years
Link
John Croyle refers to the ranch kids as his sons and daughters.
He was a college football star in the SEC, and played for one of the greatest coaches in sports. An NFL career beckoned, but God, as John Croyle likes to tell it, had a different plan for him.
A plan to minister children at risk. Orphaned kids with no place to turn. Some who’d suffered traumas no child should ever have to endure.
Croyle grew up in Gadsden, Alabama, and suffered his own traumas. When he was five years old, his 4-year-old sister Lisa was killed in a tragic accident. “That loss has made me love more deeply,” he said.
Croyle’s father worked for Sears, and his mother was a secretary. They provided a strong foundation for him to accomplish anything we wanted with his life. And young John had plans. He decided at the age of 7 that he was going to play football at the University of Alabama, and for Coach Bear Bryant.
It’s a dream many Alabama boys have. Few live it.
By the 9th grade, Croyle was 6’3″ and a natural athlete. Excelling on the gridiron came easy to him in high school, where he was a standout. It wasn’t until his freshman year at Alabama that he faced real adversity: His knee was badly mangled, and the injury appeared to be of the career-ending variety.
Croyle, who up until that day had been a typical cocky jock, was humbled. And terrified. “I remember Coach Bryant saying, ‘What a waste, son, your career’s over,’” Croyle said.
That injury changed the course of Croyle’s life and shaped his character.  “I had never had to work for anything in my life. Many, many nights I cried myself to sleep. But I worked to rehabilitate my knee.”
It took eight operations and nearly 18 months — but Croyle returned to the field. During his years at Alabama, he learned how to win. Coach Bryant made sure of that. “We lost one regular season game my last year, and we should have won that one,” said Croyle. “Winning was understood.” He played in three big bowl games, won a national championship in 1973, and was an all-SEC player.
But the desire to help young orphaned boys kept tugging at him. Croyle was 19 and working as a camp counselor in Mississippi when he met a boy in circumstances most people can’t imagine. “His mom was a prostitute, and he was her banker and timekeeper,” Croyle said. “I met him later, and he’d remembered what I’d told him and had become a Christian.”
That’s when the big idea was born: establishing a home for children like this boy. He knew what God wanted him to do with his life, but wasn’t sure what road to take to get there. He figured he’d play in the NFL for a while, save up money, then open the ranch.
He bounced the idea off the man who’d been a father figure to him at Alabama, Coach Bryant. The advice he got wasn’t what most people would expect from the man who ran what many believe was the NFL’s best farm team.
“When I told him that I wanted to pay for the home with the money I made in the NFL, Coach told me, ‘Don’t play professional ball unless you’re willing to marry it,’ ” Croyle said. “I walked out the door and never looked back.”
Bryant became an early supporter of Croyle’s dream. So, too, did friend and former teammate, John Hanna. The All-American kicked in his $30,000 signing bonus from the New England Patriots to help buy the boys’ ranch property in 1973, back when $30,000 was real money.
Big Oak Ranch began in 1974 in an old farmhouse near Gadsden. Since then, Croyle has been a father to over 2,000 orphaned, neglected and unwanted children. Through the years, children who’ve suffered from every abuse imaginable have found shelter at his ranch.
By his side from the beginning was his wife, Teresa. They raised daughter Reagan and son Brodie at the ranch: Reagan played basketball at the University of Alabama, was crowned Homecoming Queen, and modeled internationally in places like Milan, while brother Brodie starred as quarterback at Alabama and played with the Kansas City Chiefs in the NFL. Both have since returned to the ranch, and are now essentially running the place.
John and Tee had a simple goal when they started the ranch: Build the finest children’s home in America. And they have. There are now three separate facilities in Northeast Alabama: Big Oak Boys’ Ranch in Gadsden, Big Oak Girls’ Ranch in Springville, and Westbrook Christian School, Inc., in Rainbow City.
Big Oak Girls’ Ranch exists today because of a girl named Shelley, Croyle explained. “I’m in the hallway of the courthouse,” said Croyle. “A girl with honey-blonde hair and green eyes is there, beaten up. Her dad had raped her while her mom held her down.” Croyle asked for custody; the judge refused because the ranch didn’t have accommodations for girls.
“I told the judge, ‘She’ll be dead in six months.’”
Croyle was wrong. “It took Shelley’s dad three months to kill her,” he said.
Today, a white plaster cast of a girl with a horse commemorates Shelley in the ranch’s Hall of Honor.
Both the boys’ and girls’ ranches are sprawling campuses with pools, tennis courts, ball fields, horses and gyms. Children live in homes that would fit into any ordinary suburban neighborhood. They live with kids of varying ages and with house parents chosen carefully by the Croyles.
“We’re like a real family,” said one girl who lives at the ranch. “There’s always something to do here.”
But the Big Oak Ranch founder also expects a lot from his kids, and demands that they shoulder their share of family responsibilities. Even the youngest residents help with chores. When they get older, they work at jobs on and off the ranch. Cars, donated by generous donors, are available to those old enough to drive, but the kids have to earn the money to buy them and pay for insurance.
Croyle refers to the ranch kids as his sons and daughters. The ranch helps pay college tuition, too, when needed.
“And we pay for our daughters’ weddings,” said Croyle. “That’s what fathers do.” 
Though they’re a half hour drive apart, the nearly 150 acres that make up the boys’ ranch and the 325 acres of the girls’ ranch share similar characteristics. Both have pristine rural landscapes, lots of rolling hills, clear lakes and meadows. Deer roam in the woods, horses graze in the pasture, geese glide about everywhere, and fish even occasionally jump out of the carefully stocked lakes.
Indeed, the ranch has the feel of a rural retreat, and that’s as Croyle intended it.
“These kids deserve the best we can provide,” he loves to tell anyone who’ll listen. It’s hard to disagree.
When children come to the ranch, they move into a 6-bedroom, 4-bath brick home with siblings and a set of house parents who’ve made a long-term commitment to provide love, structure, discipline, and faith to the children entrusted to them. The kids soon learn that someone cares about them and loves them. They also soon learn a work ethic, and financial lessons, too. They learn to be part of a family and what that means. And they learn that God is an ever-present part of their lives.
John gives every child who comes to the ranch this assurance: “I love you. I’ll never lie to you. I’ll stick with you until you’re grown. There are boundaries — don’t cross them.” He believes these four promises cover the bedrocks to parenting a child. “My job is to give them the emotional support, security and discipline they need because their parents didn’t want the job,” John Croyle explained.
He also talks a lot about setting goals and having plans, and most important, setting the right example for his kids. “You’ve got to do what’s right, and example outlives advice,” Croyle explains. “Children listen with their eyes. They don’t listen with their ears.”
Croyle also teaches his kids to stand up for themselves. He recalled a story about his daughter coming home from school when she was in the 7th grade, and telling him she punched a boy in the chest. He was 6’7” tall, and his nickname was Big’un.
“She said he was making fun of the ranch girls,” Croyle said. “I’m not condoning hitting or fighting. But I told my kids you will never get in trouble for defending someone. That’s missing today. When someone is being bullied, someone has to step in and say, ‘Stop.'”
Croyle learned a lot of his life lessons from Coach Bryant. And a lot about teaching young people.
“Coach was demanding of his players in the same way parents should be demanding of their children,” Croyle explained.
  Practices were always harder than games, he said. “Coach would say, ‘If you’ll quit on Tuesday, you’re definitely going to quit on Saturday.’ We practiced so hard all week, that game day was the easiest day of the week. It’s not whether you were going to win, it’s how much you’re going to win by. In three years, we lost one regular season game a year. We were 34-4.”
“We feared Coach Bryant,” Croyle continued. “Not physical fear, and not from abuse or anything else. We were afraid to disappoint him.”
And Bryant rarely complimented his players. “I’ve copied him in this,” Croyle said. “He wasn’t one to throw out compliments. But when he did, you knew he meant it.”
And Bryant often motivated players by challenging them to do better. “One time we played LSU,” Croyle recalled. “I hit the quarterback three times just as after he threw the ball. Coach Bryant walked over to me and said, ‘When are you gonna get him?’ That’s all I had to hear. He was good at taking already motivated people and steering them the way he wanted them to go.”
Parents are not demanding enough of their children, Croyle said. “We’re raising people who give up,” he said. “It’s too easy to quit. Don’t ever, ever, ever give up.”
One of the young girls Croyle didn’t quit on, and who didn’t quit on herself, wrote a note explaining why the ranch should adopt her. Here are excerpts from what she wrote to the Big Oak Ranch:
“Please except [sic] me to the Girls Ranch … Please give me a chance. Everywhere I’ve been they din’t want me, or they were mean to me, so I understand if you don’t want me because nobody else does … My dad did bad stuff to me and my brother that I’m not proud about — drugs … through us up against the wall … I need a permanent home because I’ve been bounced back and forth 10X from house to house … you gave my brother a chance … I think I would love the BIG Oak Ranch…”
John Croyle loves to pull out that original sheet of paper from his pocket and share it with people. But the note serves another purpose: It’s a reminder of why he does what he does. That there is always another child out there who needs help.
John Croyle also loves to carry one other piece of paper around with him, with these three questions that keep him on track:
What has God called you to do?
Are you doing it?
What is the fruit of questions 1 and 2?
That fruit is evident everywhere you turn at the Big Oak Ranch, in the pictures that adorn the hallways and homes. Passing through the school with Croyle late in the spring, it was a joy for this author to watch kids in the hall attempt to high-five Croyle, who towers over them — and me — at 6’7.
The love in the room is apparent, as is the joy. These children, all of them, owe their lives to John, Tee, Reagan and Brodie. But don’t ever say that to any of the Croyle clan, because they’ll tell you quickly you have things backwards: They owe their lives and their happiness to these children.
One thing is certain: Stories like John Croyle’s need to be told and imitated. Because the hope and change that so many social engineers and social justice warriors talk about is present at every turn at the Big Oak Ranch. And without a single penny from the government or the taxpayers. God’s love is everywhere. Cycles of despair, violence and lovelessness have been altered forever in this part of the world in Northeastern Alabama.
As for how he stays spiritually connected to God, Croyle says he tries to keep things simple, and live by 2 Corinthians 5:9: “Let this be our one ambition, whether at home or absent — to be pleasing unto him.”
Croyle is hoping he’ll inspire more men to be pleasing to God. Worldly success, he likes to remind men in particular, is fleeting.
Croyle success is anything but fleeting. He loves to tell the story of a man he bumped into in a store who was once a child of his at his ranch. “I’m in Blockbuster to get a video,” said Croyle. “A big guy comes up to me and says, ‘Hey, Mr. John, remember me?’ He introduces his wife. Then he says, ‘This is my baby girl.’ He said, ‘I’m a manager and my house is paid for.’ “He said, ‘Mr. John, I made it.’ ”
Croyle has learned a lot about raising kids in the 40-plus years he’s been doing it. And a whole lot about orphans. He’s got his own way of thinking about the word.
“I’ve learned there are four kinds of orphans,” John explained. “If you were raised by someone other than your biological mother or father, you are a physical orphan. If your dad has told you your whole life, ‘You’re not going to amount to anything. Can’t you do anything right?’ That’s a mental orphan. If you never had your dad hug you and say, ‘I am so proud of you,’ that’s an emotional orphan. And spiritually, we’re all orphans. And Jesus says, ‘Come and join my family.’”
John Croyle has been a father to over 2,000 orphans. He’s watched them grow into confident young people, living their lives with a hope and a purpose founded in faith. That’s some pretty remarkable fruit, and a remarkable answer to those big life questions John carries in his pocket.
“A hundred years from now it will not matter what kind of house we lived in, the kind of car we drove or how much money we had in the bank, but the world may be different because you and I were important in the life of a child.”
What a great message this Father’s Day from a man who knows more than most men about being one.
Lee Habeeb is VP of content for Salem Radio Network and host of “Our American Stories.” He lives in Oxford, Mississippi, with his wife, Valerie, and his daughter, Reagan.
This story was originally published on LifeZette.com. 
The post LifeZette: Celebrating a Father of 2,000-Plus Orphans appeared first on HottyToddy.com.
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