#yeah ok kms

[spicypussywave]

ah fuck. phee was right about tan

#guilty about white ofcourse he is #now he sees non hang himself like his dad #yeah ok kms #dead friend forever #dead friend forever the series #naomiliveblogs #tw blood #blood tw #tw severed head

[oatbugs]

lmao looking at her insta highlights was a mistake

#i feel worse WHY DOES SHE HAVE TONED MUSCLES UGHHH #also my confidence has gone down a tiny bit bc why is she hanging out w all these cool ppl #how is this girl simultaneously a lawyer and also has her social life on max like give me a break #thered a photo of her walking around in heaven either before closing or after opening shes sooo #HOWEVER. i just had a call w her yesterday that made me realise my idea of romance is more romantic than her idea of romance #but also that she doesnt want to do smth super romancey on a 3rd date which according to my friends is fair but according to my heart #it is not. like why are u on a date if u dont wanna do anything romancey at that point just hang out w friends #odd of her to say that too considering our first two dated were quite romantic . anyway #yo this cafe is playing persian music nice. anyway yh #also she makes being middle eastern so gay yk the goodbye fake cheek kiss thing we do . where u like . kiss the air on the sides of the #persons face when ur saying goodbye. ygwim . yeah she doesnt do the fake air kisses she gives u two tender kisses like . anyway #i discussed the stuff she does w my friend and like why r her words so aloof and her actions so...not . and my friends reaction was #basically this is fuckboy behaviour. apparently he used to do that to girls ?? like tell them he rly liked them #and be all charming and romantic even tho he rly wasnt invested at all and he mostly wanted to hook up. like ok #im gonna kill myself then. why would u stroke my hair w my head on ur LAP THEN. WHAT IF SHE TURNS AROUND AND IS LIKE #oops it was nothing #....ill kms actually. no i womt. but anyway #also got added to the gc w the other lecturers givjng talks on the 6th so its getting more real #my friend was like did u do the script yet :))) . almost died shes so scary i love her . but . fuck two exams . crush. talk. ucl cambrdige #three conferences aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAA im so anxious i dont even feel anything atp #......I HAVE NO MONEY!!! TO TOP IT OFF #my crush and i are both iranian (aka born w extremely expensive taste woven into our genes) but i wanna like #treat her w the entire 2 quid in my bank account ig ♡♡♡ #crushposting

[indigopoptart]

HIII- sorry I’ve been acting dead, my computer fried and I’m currently using my iPad 😅-

how are you doing 😁

ft @akemima and @sammysun. yall real ones fr

#literally would not have survived without them kms #my gs #love and appreciate yall more than words can say #literally my world #i could go on for hours about how much i appreciate them kms #I LOVE YOU GUYS RAHHHH #ok back on topic #i dont know how to get this back on topic now im thinking about the both of them #dies #ok anyway #YEAH! #stamps got paused abruptly because of a buncha shit going on at the same time (its mostly cooled down now!) #but im getting better mentally! #thanks to all my friends smfh #ily all kms #BUT YEAH! #home is a house and it only has people in it #thank yall for worrying though! #all your kind messages fr make me happy #like damn random people on the internet actually care about me???? thats so sweet😭 #BUT YES IM DOIGN BETTER NOW!!! and im trying to get back into writing #art #indigo’s art #ask indigo #my art #goober cameo #digital art #uhhh idk what else to tag this #but frfr thank u both u and ur sister #yall r real ones

[todayisafridaynight]

not to make people believe in me and my work ethic but im lowkey a liiiitttttleeee stoked to share the fics ive been cookin lately..

#snap chats #its only two. if i even decide to post them we know how i am #BUT NOOOO i think i like what i have so far... i spent all evening working on them #which means nothing cause All Evening consisters 80% of just watching youtube videos while thinking of what i should write #but yeah :) i think i like what i have :) #theyre cute :) i think :) one of them is. i dont think the other one is but whatever anyway #Unrelated Tag Ramble Time found out the building my dad and his wife work at's called monarch #and of course that reminded me of my baby boy drew because i still refuse to believe he's a papillion #but he is... i still see it.. it's not just the face but also his ears #Which Sounds Like A Lie cause his ears dont look super like traditional papillion ears #but they have like. The Buds of it if that makes sense <- it doesnt #idk something bout his ears just screams Butterfly Wings.. maybe its how the little stray hairs remind me of swallowtail butterflies #ok bye im making pizza . which is funy as hell cause my br just came home with pizza. from work. where i got my pizza #SMALL WORLD ok bye. alsohave you guys ever drank kombucha what is this shit <- is gonna finish it #it reminds me of seltzer but if it wanted me to kms. sorry i compare everything to seltzer its the only thing i drink apparently #OK BYE my dog wont stop looking at me.... he wants me to play fetch with him.... well when you look so handsome Lil Man #who am i to say no right. OK BYE HE'S CRYING MY BABYS CRYING

[allaboutbethsblog]

I can't stand being at home, so im outside watching a stream (a lake) because I need fresh air.

#im fine i wont do anything stupid the lake isnt even deep #even if i wanted to do something stupid i still wont. #all i need is a break nothing else #i swear i wont do anything stupid #it's not like i want to kms #yeah ok i mightve had thoughts of kms but i didnt do anything (even though i wanted to) #it was cause i was sat near a stream(a lake) and sometimes that happens. but today was a shit day #and hopefully tomorrow wont be like today

[katnissgirlsmakedo]

well. ******* you’ll never be hazel and jack… you’ll never have their swag. well you’ll never have a lot of other characters swag but i’m listening to the darkest part of the forest right now and i was like wow they’re like. if ******* was good and didn’t suck. that was mean i don’t truly have beef with *******. well i do but not because it sucks inherently. it’s complicated. anyway. hazel evans you are sooooooooooo Girl to me….

#she’s like one of the all time greats to me. you had to be there #this bitch got me through eighth grade…. in the most real and serious way possible #god like. literally her and emma swan made me not kms 😐 #yeah those were bleak times. oh well we crack on that was ten years ago #jesus. ten years. ok more like 9 actually

[bichimney]

yes or no ask game:

have you ever gotten into a fandom fight with someone

hmm no

ask me yes or no questions

#ask #ok i know it's one word but yeah i don't think any actual fights #one time i got blocked for something i said to someone it was 911 related but they blocked immediately #and one time got told to kms but it wasn't really fandom fighting they were pos and i was amongst the people against them

[thursdayg1rl]

hate this DAMN household i will never excape

#on god i will kms if tomorrow goes bad bc i dontcare anymore actually #like idk i think maybe im a person who just isnt cut out for living sorry i just cant do it #everything makes me tired everything hurts i hate everyone everyone hates me lets just cut our losses. #will i really kms over the worst person in the world calling me 'very selfish and intentionally numb and cruel human being'. to be seen #of course i am intentionally fucking numb bc feeling anything here is a death sentence.. #yeah genuine posibility. like i know 'life gets better' or whatever but i dont think for me actually 👍🏼 #i think i will go from being sad and alone here to sad and alone somewhere else and i cannot actually live like this #ok need to stop crying so i can tell her im not going to school tomorrow

[daz4i]

you know you're fucked when you go through that mental checklist of basic needs (did i eat recently/did i get enough sleep/have i been social lately/when's the last time i showered etc) and everything is alright there but you're still feeling like stabbing yourself in the head

#it's like oh. i don't have any concrete step towards feeling better now. i just gotta live like this and hope it goes away somehow #it might be a hormonal thing bc i need my tshot today (but I'll have to wait till tuesday bc of the holiday...) #not that that's helping me in any way lol like ok i may know what's up but i can't solve it so. death it is ig #also i mean it might just be bc my brain is fucked and should be stomped till it's nonexistent. in my humble opinion. #nothing new here. i wanna die. yeah yeah whatever. i always do. now more than usual but w/e. #I'm too mentally tired to even think abt it. like usually i at least fantasize abt how I'd kms or smth #now I'm just ''i wanna go to sleep and never wake up'' booooo boring. this is why you should die you uncreative fuck #......can you tell I'm doing really bad lol #vent #negative // #suicide // #ask to tag

[mxdotpng]

i have a severe deficiency in bad mobile jrpgs so lets see how another eden goes

#.text #so far it is bad and i love it ^_^ i love games that suck and are fun and tropey and silly #sigh. i miss dragalia lost #there are robots here. still obsessed with riica goin IM A KMS ROBOT. like WHAT are you trying to tell me #i like aldo i hope something bad happens to him #me when i see a mobile jrpg with the exact same premise as the other mobilr jrpgs ive played #another eden #for people in the tag 'bad game' IS A TERM OF ENDEARMENT. #dragalia lost is a bad game. final fantasy 7 is a bad game. and i love them so. much. #btw btw btw btw INSANELY FUNNY that amy sees this guy from 800 fucking years ago who just learned what a gun is #and go yeah sure you can help us fight an army of robots that want to kill us. with your midieval sword and your midieval weapons. #like. sure. why not. #and aldo just goes what. what. what. what. who are you. what the fuck is a 'row bot' #hey wait does he have a bell around his neck. ok catboy. get out of here #anyway #anyway. having fun. enrichment for max.

[shrimpypolka]

anyone else feel. like. a little Guilty when they have celebrity crushes because they feel like they're somehow overstepping boundaries when they literally just find A Guy cute?

#like i have my reasons bc in the past i was scolded by someone i admired bc i like #Actually overstepped boundaries #cuz i was a dumb kid #and dw it was acknowledged when i was scolded and i was forgiven #and now that im like old enough to know like Hey be careful and don't be weird im like Ok yeah ill be. Normal #but even though whenever i find myself w a celeb crush i like #dont talk abt it much... like ill talk abt how i like their content but like #Yeah. ueah you get it #like i only talk abt it to my really close friends #bc they know like Hey yeah everything. Yeah im not weird abt it #oughhhhh i hope my point is like being. Across. Like its understandable but im just ranting #oughfjjh #please tell me. km not alone in this

[fruiteful]

.

#3 days late #guys are y’all praying for me or not!? #lol i can’t get pregnant i will literally kms #it’s gotta happen today please god #they say it’s normal if it’s a few days late and i have been stressed like a mf #but if it’s weeks late then obvs i’m preggerz #it’s just a waiting game at this point #i promise i’m never fucking this man again lololllll #ok i’m obviously lying but yeah #help meeeeee #jay #i know im just paranoid

[syncast-err0r]

BIITTTTCCCCHHHH WHAT WAS I THINKINGN FMEJFKKFJGK FUCKKK ME

#I SENT ONE OF MY ONLINE HOOKUPS MY COLLECTKIN FIC #IN MY DEFENSE HE DID COME TO ME TALKING ABT THE COLLECTOR N SAW #YES I HAVE THOSE 2 IN MY SORTA DATING PROFILE BIO. SHUT UP #LIKE YEAH HE SEEMS EAGER TO READ IT BUT I THINK MY HEAD IS GOING TO EXPLOOODDEEE #its ok everythings fine he likes me he thinks im beautiful and gorgeous and hot etc etc #no ITS NOT OK. I TOLD HIM THE STOMACH WOUND BUG SCENE WAS HOT #ok im fine now im done im normal no i am nor fuckkginf normal leace me alone kms kms kms #kiln talks #please ill cry im crying rn

[post3l]

iam showing symptoms of mental illness!!!!!!!! /vent

#imm so scared actually i REALLY hope nothging bad comes out of this. and it will because im a stupid dumb idiot #ashy you are so fuckign stupid honestly............. begging to get people to know you and be your friend and now u wanna push them away- #because youre feeling too many thigns at once and dont know how to cope?????? sososososo stupid. need to be shot #i fuckign love my friends. to death i love hanging out with them and laughing and watching stuff and everything but. fuck im so anxious im- #gonna fuck this up so bad and theyre gonna hate me foreveer. im soooo sososo anxious and so paranoid everyone is after me n want me dead #I DONT KNOW sorry for venting i have no one to vent to. my silly little life #wordswordswords #ACK these fucking thoughts wont go away until i adctually end up alone again forever. so awesome yeah totally i deserve this kind of pain- #im stupid idiot dumb and wanna kms fora while. lets see what comes out of my thesis draft next week and ill cosnsider it a bit more serious #-y i dont know. i love and hate feeling things. so much forevr #whatever. laying donw in the ocean waiting for the tides to swoop me in and i disappear forever ok???? #i don t know how to talk to people and communicate properly. thi sis the worst #just................. tlel me you dont hate me. all i want forever #sooo fucking anxious my hands are trembling and im crying a little bit #oo my ass is not finishing this essay

[nomaishuttle]

exciting day so far

#264 (the couple who pays extra to have their bed made every day (which is crazy)) knocked over a CLOCK in their room #the wife did it on accident luckily she was ok.but i had 2 hunt down maintenance to fix da clock and i thought i found a guy but apparently #he wasnt actually a maintenance guy So i might kms. but he said hed find a maintenance guy for me so.. #bc my boss was like ok ryan (head of maintenance (wnd housekeeping but hes a maintenance guy. my boss is the real head of housekeeping lol) #might be in the maintenance shop. and i was like okie went in and he wasnt 💀💀💀 so i just saw a guybwearing black which i thinkk is #maintenance color and i was like halp me ! and he was like erm yeah ill find a maintenance guy for you ^-^ #it was so awk tho. my job on weekdays (except tuesdays bc thats the day they get cleaned) is 2 make the bed and its usually umm #shes usually in da shower with her caretaker. not like eith but. ykwim. and the husband is usually asleep on da couch #but i got there like 10 minutes early so they were both up and also yhe husband was like Are you a guy can you help and i was like erm no #and i misunderstood i thought he was having like #a medical or #something else issue. yk. but then i overheard him talking to the wifes caretaker and realized he said CLOCK. and i was like ohhh ok.. #but i finished the bed and said okie ill find a maintenance guy t come help asap :] #and he was like thanks 👍 hes very sweet idk if we had spoken b4. well probably but idr much of it #i think ive mainly spoken to da wife b4. shes very sweet shes had a stroke so its a bit difficult to understand her sometimes but shes very #nice.. i ws sooo worried thenfirst day bc allegedly we got there early (aka the time they usually went to do the bed) so now k do it at 9 #which is mildly inconvenient but not too bad. ideally id be making the bed b4 i starty rooms 4 the day bc i have like an hour anf a half to #do my morning work. so i could just slot ir in real easy.. but its all good jo worries. but ya so she was kind of irritated the first day #and also it was my first time speaking to someone who had had a stroke. so i didnt realize thats just like. how she ralks and thought she #was just super duper mad. and i was like eep! but its ok.

[lqnar]

i should write this stuff in my diary

#yeah i started a journal #i need to use my stickers for SOMETHING right #i love stationery it is my newest obsession #i'm spending so much money on it but i usually don't buy stuff so it's okay it's fine i will survive. #''i usually don't buy stuff'' ok liar but what i meant is that i generally only splurge on food. #which obviously isn't great all of the time. hence the bulimia. #so buying stickers and washi tape to feel an ounce of happiness is fine. #i used to journal/vent in a notebook in high school #i ripped out every single page and threw it out at one point #i think close to graduation? #it was really helpful to vent all my feelings in it but it was also really dark stuff about my depression and suicide plans #and also my trauma. and every single song lyric i related to at the time #so basically a lot of uncomfortable embarrassing and sad stuff that i didn't want anyone else to see or reread myself #so it's all gone #as is most of my venting from that time. i had a 50 k word document with venting at one point. that's a whole book #50 k words sounds insane it might just have been 50 pages i can't remember tbh. but still a lot of words. #it's gone now. i deleted everything about that situation and every single one of my tumblr posts when i was going to kill myself #i tend to clean out my life and my embarrassing online posts and every note i have ever written when i think i'm going to die soon. #i'm not suicidal anymore but it still is a mindset i somewhat still have. like oh better remember to delete these embarrassing posts #before i kms. #like ok king but have you considered mental health as a Choice bro just wondering