#yeah dont like abuse your partner over it but thats rarely what it is

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I didn’t let my friend bring their partner to social events?

We are all in our 30s and all trans/NB/queer. My friend (B) and I have known each other nearly 20 years, and over those years they’ve had a rough dating history. They’ve had several emotionally and mentally abusive or neglectful partners, further details about that I won’t give here. I’ve met most of them and they’ve always disliked me for various reasons (usually they were just jealous of the place I held in their life).

Recently though, B seems to have found someone who makes them happy (we’ll call them T) and T treats them better than their previous partners. Which is great! I’m happy for B. But I find T insufferable.

Granted, I don’t have to see T very often, but when I do its always uncomfortable.

The first time I met T they trauma dumped immediately. In the first half hour I knew all about their horrible family but couldn’t tell you any hobby or interest they had. We were in a very public place and I didn’t feel it was the most appropriate topic to get to know someone, but I tried to relate with my own stories all the same. However, T always had to “one up” every story I told. it felt like a “whose childhood was worse” competition.

The second time we all hung out T ignored me completely, really only hanging around and talking to B. Since it was B’s birthday I didn’t really mind at all. Plus, we were at a beercade so everyone was kinda off doing their own thing. But even when we all sat down they just kinda threw looks my way but didnt say a word to me.

But most recently I had hosted a halloween party (it was only 8 folks so tiny party) where B and T both showed up. When T asked me how work was going I started with what I felt was a normal “Ah yeah, it sucks but—” and before I could say anything else they spoke over me to say

“Yeah you’ve mentioned you hate your job every time I’ve seen you so thats sort of my only impression of you :/ ”

(a possibly important side note: B and T are both doing things that they enjoy but have to hustle a bit to make ends meet whereas I have a full time retail job through which i have insurance so leaving isnt as easy for me since I have more tied up in my job than just a paycheck)

This really pissed me off, as not only is being interrupted a huge pet peeve, but there are aspects of my job I enjoy. I just never got to talk about them because the conversation would either divert or we would just stop talking altogether. Also the way they came across felt pretty judgmental.

T then proceeded to spend the rest of the evening talking about everything from the movie to the snacks with therapy speak and trauma processing. (ex: I think I’m locked into this movie because it might’ve been a safe haven for me during my childhood and I just dont remember watching it but I can feel its importance to me) And only ever to B, never engaging with anyone else.

(another note: they are not the only one at the party with anxiety. two of my other friends have severe social anxiety and while maybe a little awkward were still able to hold casual conversations. no one was a stranger to anyone at the party)

This also meant that I didn’t get to spend any time with B during the party either, which was a shame cause I see them so rarely.

I understand that trauma processing is important and its great if you have someone in your life that can help you. It does not need to happen every where all the time. And I’m worried that B might be getting taken advantage of like they have in the past (in the sense that they have to do all the emotional legwork in the relationship and get very little of that effort back).

I’m tired of catering to this attitude and I don’t enjoy being around them, so I no longer want to involve them in group events I host.

would that make me an asshole?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[floralkittygambler]

RadioDust is the Healthiest Toxic Ship for Angel so far

@honesthazbinarchives​ Briefly. I’d like to go into this more in the future BUT these are the main points I said I’d do. Heh ‘stay tuned’ for why HuskerDust is toxic [haaaa funny fuckin reference n shit like Viv herself aint overdone it]. Yer dont even wanna know the lack of enthusiasm in tryna do a playful ‘cringetopia’ joke - wasnt as fun as anticipated. Anyfuckinways, the shit. Before we begin, disclaimers n whatnot, no hate intended, dni if you’re a bit of a knobhead [either stan or extreme anti], an all that nonsense. I dont own the characters no shit.  In this I’ll discuss how RadioDust aka SpiDEER (thats right, yer stuck w my shit humour now) is both the healthiest ship for Angel we’ve seen so far but still rather toxic. Idc if you hate me for it but dont fuckin waste yer time telling me. Great. I dont care. Yer fuckin hard n whatnot for harassin strangers online. Big dick energy to you. This will be slightly messy, my apologies, it’s a quick summary of many points.

Alright. Firstly, out of the entire male cast Angel interacts with over all platforms, Al is given a fair bit of mercy in terms of sexual advances. In fact, a swift ‘no’ and Angel doesn’t do it again - unlike most of the other cast [pent’s is covert, husks is overt]. One thing I like is that Angel himself admits to their chemistry (claiming that whilst he thinks Al’s a prick, he thinks Al dislikes him which saddens him as he’d at least like to be friends as he feels they have good chemistry - according to the VA via Hunicast’s 1yr anniversary), there’s no further efforts to jump on his dick but a clear curiosity/interest in what Al can do.  Lets go to the basics, both are of similar age [allegedly in their 30s, though Ive heard Al may be up to mid 40s] as well as created near the same-ISH time (as in, Viv’s oldest characters, at least for HH). Likewise, Viv admitted to knowing fuck all on either of their eras (and to make that public wasn’t really a wise choice BUUUT if you felt the need, it’s better worded with interest “Right now I’m working towards educating myself more on their time periods to improve their portrayals” <-- crucial if yer want that ‘realism’). Because of their real-world ages, Viv confesses they’re her favourites (even if you didnt know, she makes it pretty clear). It could be a nice ‘homage’ to their impact in her life but not too relevant otherwise. It could fulfil the need for self indulgence that she’s unhealthily leaking into the canon - which will ultimately make the series shit. No sugarcoating there.  As for their ages, a relationship can work whether the gap is large or small HOWEVER there are many ethics and conflicts to each. And being an adult into kids is always fucked up. With that being said, studies have shown that closer ages often work better due to the often similarities in mindset, maturity and life goals (older folks are more likely to want to settle, younger often have more ambitions), likewise there tends to be an unbalanced power-dynamic if the ages are too far, which can lead to various types of abuse. Dont get me wrong, being with someone much older (AS LONG AS NONE OF YALL ARE KIDS) very much CAN work - but rarely. There’s much more hardwork needed as well as being in the right mindset for both, otherwise it’s bad. More on that in HD. Long story short, both are closer in age meaning both are more ‘relatable’ to one another. There’s common grounds, even in the eras there’s some higher understanding of one another. Notice how Vaggie and Charlie are similar in age? (Even though Charlie is far older, her appearance and mentality for her race is on par with Vaggie’s, making it far more likely to work out positively) One of the most prominent out of all of this however is their actual interests. So listing; Both like action/chaos/having fun (often at the expense of others), both love cooking and can be food snobs in their own right, both have sadistic AND masochistic tendencies, Al likes performance and theatre whilst Angel loves *to* perform, on that last point Angel was very intrigued and enjoyed Al’s song number/performance naturally, both really enjoy pranks and both enjoy liquor (neither show an actual addiction, but rather an interest in social drinking - no dependencies on it). Again, close eras mean both have a higher probability of understanding the other and their lifestyles better. Both are high on appearance and love themselves, implying self confident mindset (healthy BUT the narcissism isnt) yet enough consideration for how they are viewed. On the parent system, one adores his mama whilst the other hates his pops.  Now Ive gone on about how they’re similar. But similarities ALONE is not enough. If it was, then fandom’s would be a lil more harmonious~ A HEALTHY relationship needs compatibility, POSITIVE conversation flow, common grounds, trust, openness and understanding. Even then, some people click and some just dont. It’s like how you can just hate someone for no reason. It just IS. Common grounds and similarity is scientifically proven to be attractive to someone - be it good or BAD. People are drawn to those like their parents in some way usually, likewise we look for people similar to ourselves (from our interests, to humour, beliefs, goals, etc). Science itself states that ‘opposites attract’ solemnly applies in the real world successfully. Though similiarity plays a large role, there has to be some differences too - that person is STILL an individual separate to yourself. Too similar and it’s boring. Too similar and you’ll do everything together without some ‘you’ time. Both Vaggie and Charlie have similar interests/hobbies in dance and music, yet still have enough differences to be identifiable when together. Vaggie is more grounded than Charlie. Charlie gives some optimism and fun to Vaggie. Remember, a partner does NOT complete you - that’s a toxic mindset when taken too seriously, You complete YOURSELF. Whether you have someone or not, you must feel complete in yourself as to not slip into toxic dependency on a lover - to become them, a shadow of them or feel like you’ve lost your identity without them. Sounds harsh but it’s true. Chaggie compliments each other without a dependency. You stand alone yet uplift one another. You don’t always agree but in the end you always have each other’s backs. Love is often butchered in a toxic light in the media.  So taking that into consideration, how does spideer work? Well, here’s some examples of good, bad and neutral: - Angel loves animals, Al fears/dislikes dogs. Perhaps Angel could assist him in overcoming this? - Al hates being touched, Angel dislikes being squeezed. Maybe this could help them reach an understanding... Or cause a rift? - Angel was the only one to break Al’s composure, either Angel is the *key* to delving further into Al’s more raw self... Or just another obVOXious pest? (yeah, I said it-) - Neither respect other’s boundaries, meaning both may fuel the other to be overly disrespectful in this area. Not good. - Angel is a sarky/sarcastic fuck, Al loves dry humour. Both seek amusement and chaos. In relationships one needs to see how conversation flows and in the hunicasts, both keep up some good as well as toxic banter. Both could roast the fuck out of an opponent however. - Al is acro/ace, Angel is hypersexual (appears like a sex addict - now I say this as his book has a crossed out ‘fun stuff’ with ‘work shit’ written on it. He’s always fixed on sex from his job to his humour), this could either aid Angel ease up on the sex stuff OR make him overly push it onto Al causing major rifts and discomfort (aces can have sex, ref to ace posts that real asexuals put to understand more but no one wants to be forced into sex is the point here). And we’ve already discussed their lack of respect for boundaries. The positive is that maybe this will make Angel understand how Val is rubbing off on his own behaviour towards men [again, more on that in the HD post]. - Both similar yet different in a way that does suit their compatibility chances but that doesnt mean they will click, it just improves the odds. - Both have similar enemies in Val and Vox, they’re on common terms. Likewise, Al is against the ‘sexual deviance’ of hell meaning he may be oddly supportive and protective of Angel in terms of Val. I dont even think his sadism will override this either. - Al dislikes modern tech, Angel seems to use it as his job requires it. A nice little menial difference. - Only ONE is an addict. Take it from an expert, you NEVER put two addicts together. They’re very vulnerable and prone to slipping deeper into their addictions as well as depending on each other too much that they essentially become very clingy, suffocating and toxic to each other. Seen it in action, it’s ugly.  - Both could have a lot of fun and calm moments with each other. - He isn’t immediately smitten with Al but immediately shows a natural interest in Al’s powers and performance, embracing it openly. Leads for a good friendship turned lovers plot. - In Viv’s patreon, she confirmed Angel loves confident guys [sounds exactly like Al] We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea.  Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict.  Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both.  Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate. I live with an ‘Angel Dust’ like person. It used to feel like life gave her everything and most times it did. Everyone loved her and she could get away with murder if she wanted to. But now she’s had to struggle and grow, let go of some ‘wants’ because they werent good for her and she’s becoming better for it. She has a long way but she’s more humble for it now [still got self confidence but it’s less narcissism now, which is more healthy for her]. Also, they make the word anal lol

#stans and antis dni #pros and cons to radiodust #spideer #anti hazbin #viv needs to actually research #vivs been in toxic relationships so she should know better and how these come across #wait until anti huskerdust #ill really be fuckin loathed then #anyways #enjoy?

[justdyingslowly]

1. Name justdyingslowly obviously come on

2. Nationality Australian

3. Age 22

4. Birthday nnnah dont feel like it

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign) Libra/Scorpio cusp

6. Gender wamon

7. Sexuality very very hetero

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself) androgenous

9. What do you/did you study? Psychology (focus on sexology) and art.

10. What’s your current job like?/What job would you like to have? I am disabled you think I can work ha sexologist would be awesome. When I was a kid I wanted to be a fireman but Australias always burning

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11. Your birth order head first

12. How many siblings do you have? 1

13. Do you have good relations with your family? yeah dads finally out of his abusive relationship, nearing age 70 and his emotions and his sexuality are finally opening up for the first time and that makes me SO happy.

14. How many friends do you have? what kind of fucked up question is this.

15. Your relationship status relationshipped. Fiance? got the marriage papers in a drawer somewhere with the car rego but can’t be fucked filling them?

16. What do you look for in a SO? empathetic, mature, calm. Always open to discussion. Prefers to be blunt rather than secretive. Emotional age over 14 (incredibly fucking rare apparently). Puts an importance on context and understanding other views above all else.

17. Do you have a crush? Hellll yeah Crush on my partner and got a crush on a mutual friend of ours who don’t even know hes cute af hehe one day partners gonna accidentally spill the beans and embarrass me coz hes shit with secrets RIP me.

18. When did you have your first kiss? You think I can remember this bullshit? Its not that big a deal

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands? One night stand sex almost exclusively sucks. Just. SUCKS. Because neither of you know what the other likes and it ends up being an awkward mix of trying to please yourself while trying to also be considerate.

20. What are your deal breakers? Plugging your ears to anything that feels gross, uncomfortable or disagrees with you. How can you grow as a person without introspection? How can you mold what you think and believe without taking in other arguments and comparing them to your beliefs to see how they stack up? Its pathetic.

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21. How was your day? cute mutual friend had a fall this morning and were both worried about him. His back is bad and he’s getting a little older, he can’t be getting dizzy and having falls like that. other than that im anxious about seeing my gastro. He’s lovely but... specialists are specialists. Good at knowing what they know but not always great at listening.

22. Favourite food & drink you think im allowed to eat or drink? water and... foods a touchy subject.

23. What position do you sleep in? Usually on my side with a body pillow to grip so I don’t end up choking my partner in his sleep.

24. What was your last dream about? uuhhh...going to italy and being unable to get into this tiny basket boat properly.

25. Your fears does PTSD to medical shit count haha

26. Your dreams ... going to italy and being unable to get into a tiny basket boat thingy?

27. Your goals - get some sort of diagnosis eventually. Its been 3 years of trying and im tired. - get back to studying art part time for my bachelors. - pass JLPT N3. - go back to university for psychology. - do the dishes when I get home.

28. Any pets? two budgies. we also take care of any orphaned or injured birds.

29. What are your hobbies? feeling nauseous drawing writing a little bit im making a little gameboy game in C atm too

30. Any cool places in your area? i live next to a national park with waterfalls and koalas and emus and stuff

31. What was your last awkward situation? mutual friend made a comment on his chest i playfully smacked it (related to the comment) it was surprisingly hard “O-oh wow, thats... I didnt expect that” my partner laughed at me. it was awful.

32. What is your last regret? getting embarrassed at friends pecs stop making me think about it 33. Language/s you can speak english. N4 Japanese.

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.) of course not what the fuck

35. Have any quirks? Quirkless. I do wiggle when im happy though apparently.

36. Your pet peeves open doors.

37. Ideal vacation spend a months chilling in an old japanese house in autumn hokkaido oooooof that sounds nice

38. Any scars? internal? yes

39. What does your last text message say? peepee poopoo ustinky

40. Last 5 things from your search history how do i find this

41. What’s your [device] background? Sam Porter Bridges walkin around Sam Porter Bridges cuddling BB-28 Louise while he sleeps my chicken

42. What do you daydream about? all might

43. Describe your dream home an old japanese house in autumn hokkaido oooooof that sounds nice

44. What’s your religion/Your thought about religion its a comforting thought having a parent-figure who cares about you and looks after all the big things you can’t manage yourself, but institutionalizing it runs a severe risk of becoming harmful cults. And it often does.

45. Your personality type me

46. The most dangerous thing you’ve done i saw the lost bunny that was on all the posters in the neighbourhood looked thin and patchy so i grabbed him to take him home. im allergic. sent me to hospital and I almost died.

47. Are you happy with your current life? feeling sick sucks and partners having a depressive episode but things are pretty good

48. Some things you’ve tried in your life living

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49. What does your wardrobe consist of? blacks, reds, whites and pinks

50. Favourite colour to wear? at the moment pink. Red is always comforting though.

51. How would you describe your style? mix between lazy alternative punk, teenager with band shirts and harajuku peach kawaii uwu

52. Are you happy with your current looks? kinda wish i was a bit shorter but what can you do

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be? bit shorter

54. Any tattoos or piercings? lol no PTSD

55. Do you get complimented often? by who? partner constantly, family haha are you kidding im australian so a friend’s version of showing affection is calling you a cunt and slapping your ass in public

56. Favourite aesthetic? all might

57. A popular trend that you dislike blocking because you disagree or find them distasteful. Ignoring all context to opposing thoughts and arguments. taking a personal feeling of disgust to mean something is evil. Blocking your ears to anything that isn’t a circlejerk of what you already think - and trying to isolate anyone who even just listens to something other then the noise of your sloppy dicks to have a thought of their own.

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58. Songs you’re currently obsessed with? The Machine by Low Roar

59. Song you normally wouldn’t admit you like. why wouldnt i admit i like a song

60. Favourite genre? probably enka haha

61. Favourite artist/band/genre? probably enka haha oh and tatsuro yamashita

62. Hated popular songs/artists? why the hell would I hate something like a song? I hate aspects of the music industry as a whole I guess?

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5 which playlist they aren’t all together in one place

64. Can you sing or play any instruments? piano, saxophone... uh... partners good at making music and playing shakuhachi

65. Do you like karaoke? no.

66. Own any albums? yes? many?

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations? no. but triple J, ABC Jazz and Classical. sometimes they even play final fantasy and JRPG music on classical which is pretty neat. -

68. Favourite movie/series? can i make this about games because then the answer is Metal Gear Solid

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc ...shounen?

70. Your fictional crush/es if they’re over 40yrs old, male and happy and bubbily or grumpy and sad then there’s a big ol fat chance I wanna bone. Solid Snake from MGS4, All Might and pretty much anyone drawn by Tarou Madoromi.

71. Which fictional character is you? uh

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so what does this even mean what language is this

73. Favourite greek god? idk hades seems chill

74. A legend from where you live that you like the story of Tjilbruke is funny and good. all Kaurna stories are good.

75. Do you like art? What’s your favourite work or artist? im in a big egon schiele mood atm.

76. Can you share your other social media? no i am incapable

77. Favourite youtubers? many

78. Favourite platform? not too high up. actually i like being a little lower than ground level in corners.

79. How much time do you spend on the internet? too much

80. What video games have you played? Which one’s your favourite? look i just want to say that MGS4 is the best one in the series and Death Stranding is phenomenally engaging.

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts) these are all so goddamn definitive how can I pick? Oh wait the answer is One Piece

82. Do you play board/card games? I play DnD atm and know 15 yr old rules to Yugioh

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema? that shit dosn’t happen here

84. Favourite holiday golden week coz its a week also easter because thats when all the glucose based sweets come back

85. Are you into dramas? what kind

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86. Would you use death note, if you had one? no. thats called being a murderer.

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to? chill people out a bit. when people feel unsafe they get really depenfive and territorial and block their ears to everything, making in-and-out groups for themsevles that end up putting them in more harm.

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse? im disabled with a disabled partner. we arent funny sure we can survive normal everyday life when society is angled so sharply against us.

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be? id like to be a mimi spirit

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death? spooky time

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick? toshinori yagi

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week? anyone healthy

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo that cursed one with the intense eyes and the hand

94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true im me im not me im pee

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95. Cold or hot? cold.

96. Be a hero or be a villain? both are distasteful ideas in reality

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme? i can’t do either partner speak sin bad puns and its hell, these both sound about equal

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time? shapeshifting. controlling time is eithe rmanipulative or lonely. shapeshifing is every other superpower at once.

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death? both are deeply upsetting ideas

100. ….. or …..? jiji or ossan? generally Jiji, but ossans can be lovely too.

#personal #stupid

[fellis-world]

G for Eos, H for Aeris c: feel free to swap between them for each character tho!

Lets start with Eos and the G questions~

Is your OC close to their family?

For Eos there is nothing more important than his family. If he could do it he would lock them all up to protect them. But of course that isnt possible XD He always have trouble to keep them away from the danger. And he is always scared that someday they will die or get injured because he wasnt able to protect them. This tought dont let him sleep at night...

Who makes up your OC’s family?

His family have, with him included, four members. Of course there is Eos.Trahearne who lives with him. Eos’ Brother Aeris and Aeris’ Boyfriend Aquilius. And beside of that there are also Trahearnes cats.

3.Does your Oc find their family supportive? If not, what would be an example why not?

Eos little family is really supportive for him. His brother cares for the household because Eos is rarely at home and the cats and Trahearne make a lot of chaos during the day. Everywhere are papers and cat hairs. without Aeris it would be a mess XD But in a emotional way they are also his cliff. Trahearne at least because he loves him. He can be himself around him. And if Trahearne isnt there he can always rely on Aeris and Aquilius. Lately he have  a good relationship to Aeris boyfriend.

4. What kind of childhood did your OC have?

Well, as a sylvari he hadnt a childhood per se but i will speak about that as his saplinghood. He was born in the cycle of night shortly after midnight. But he was very different from the other saplings. He was happy, cheerful...loud. He was so full of energy and nearly unstoppable. That caused him troubles under his fellow saplings. Because he wasnt like someone who was born during night, he behaved like someone who was born during the cycle of noon. But Eos gave a shit on that. He leaved the Grove as soon as possible to learn more about the world.It doesnt took long when he found his future brother Aeris...

5. Did they go trough any typical phases growing up?

He was a bit of a rebel in his early weeks. He dosnt wanted to listen to menders who wanted that he take a rest, he doesnt listen to the scholars who saw his potencial.And he called the firstborn a boring old man....well the last one was something he was really ashamed for afterwards because he didnt know who the man was.

6. Do they have any favorite childhood memories?

One of his favorite memroies is the song from Aeris when he heard him sing the first time.It was a song about hope and loyalty. But also a song with a bittersweet sadness within. Maybe this was the real reason why he decided to talk to the shy man he saved earlier.

7. Do they have any vhildhood memories they’d rather forget or be less affected by?

Indeed. Also a memory about Aeris. How he met him. It was Eos mission to destroy a camp of the nightmare court. It was one of his first Missions and the very first he did with Trahearne. Eos found in the prison of the NC Aeris. Chained, injured and nearly dead inside. He wanted to save him. Aeris took the hand Eos offered him but then a courtier shot him in the back. Instantly Eos baceme furious and destroyed the whole campf with one massive blow of his powers. Everything was burned. It was the first time he lost the control over his powers. The first time he injured himself. The pain and the fear he will never forget sadly.

A little cut because its rather long XD H for Aeris~~

1. What is your OC’s orientation, romantic,and/or sexual? Has it ever been a source of stress for them? Have they always been pretty sure of their orientations?

Aeris didnt know which orientation he follows. He woke up and was in the hands of the NC. He never had the time or idea to think about himself. Two years long all he witnessed was pain and suffering. He just tried to survive the abusement and the turtoring. When he was free it was everything new for him. But he never really tought about love. He is a very shy man and isn’t able to speak with strangers. So he tought no one would be interested in someone like him. But he never had preferences for genders. 

2.Is your OC a toughtful partner, in whatever aspect of that you want to cover?

He loves Aquilius with all he have. It isnt easy always to go with him, since Aquilius isn’t that shy like Aeris. But Aeris tries his best to follow him. He would do everything for his beloved to make him happy. Even when it means to be in a large and loud town. 

3.Does your OC believe there’s only one ideal partner (or multiple ideal if not monogamous) for everyone, or that there are many people who could be right?

For Aeris (and Eos too) there is only one man in his life. And thats Aquilius. He know exactly that he would never fall in love again with someone else. Its also his greatest fear that his beloved vanishs someday. But he try to keep that tought of his mind.

4. Does your OC believe in love in first sight?

No. definitly no. Aeris is scared of people so is first intention is running away or attack. When he met Aquilius for the first time he was very angry at the human because he destroyed his work. It took him weeks to gather informations about old ascalonian families and then he came and destroyed this work. He was very furious about it. Luckily he wouldnt see him ever again...well...thats what he tought. Aquilius had another opinion.

5. Does your OC believe in marriage? (or their culture’s equivalent)?

Sylvari dont really have a system for marriage but during his searches he always read old stories about marriage and such things. He know what it means to get married. He thinks marriage is the ultimate proof that someone loves you.It is a rather nice tought for him.Also he is very romantic (but tries to hide it) and is often daydreaming about that.

6. Has your OC ever cheated on anyone or been cheated on?

No Aeris is very loyal and he expect that from his partner too. he would never forgive it if Auilius would cheat on him.

7. What do they look for in partners? 

Aeris havent any preferences in races or genders. All he ever wanted was someone strong. Woman or man it doesnt matter. He wanted someone who would be able to protect him. Someone he can lean on. Someone he can trust. But of course his partner shouldnt be someone without a brain. Aeris is a scholar and sometimes he want to talk about it. It would annoy him if his partner dont understand a single word. 

8. What’s your OC’S idea of a perfect date?

Aeris is reeeeaaally romantic, so his dream is to be together with Aquilius during night. Just the two of them. Maybe at a fire. Watching the stars. Aeris enjoy the spare moments when he can be together with him. To feel the strong hands on his body. A warm chest he can lean on. And the tickling breath in his neck when Aquilius is teasing him.

9. What are some things that your OC finds to be an instant turn-off in potential partners?

Aeris HATE Violence. He Hate it if someone doesnt get treated with respect. Someone small, innocent would also be a turn off as potential partner for him. Friends yeah. But not lover. 

Thank you sooooo much for that. I hope the answers could satisfy you <3

[h4ppy-kn1ght]

One through One hundred

LOL…ok i’ll do these first then EVERYTHINg else.

7. Do you have any pets?

Yes, I currently have one- it’s a three-legged dog named Baci.

13. What talents do you have?

I wouldn’t really say I do outside of casually drawing and food making

32. How big is your house?

It’s about 2,500 sqft - one floor so it’s ok but not really that big or spacious

Thanks for asking

—————————

1. What is you middle name?

NO NO NO

2. How old are you?

Early 20s

3. When is your birthday?

12/13

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Sagittarius

5. What is your favorite color?

Maroon usually

6. What’s your lucky number?

I can’t say I really have one tbh

7. Do you have any pets?

8. Where are you from?

Brazil (Rio)

9. How tall are you?

two inches above average for what I am

10. What shoe size are you?

7.0-7.5 US at most

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

At least in the double digits, hopefully not more than 25 pairs of shit?

12. What was your last dream about?

I actually don’t remember!

13. What talents do you have?

14. Are you psychic in any way?

No  lol

15. Favorite song?

I have several, mostly weird/niche

16. Favorite movie?

I have several, mostly weird/niche (yes its the same answer as 15)

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

I never thought about it because I don’t really know what I need.

18. Do you want children?

Alot of the time, not really- but I’m also too young/busy with myself to want it now

19. Do you want a church wedding?

Not really,unless my partner really wants it.

20. Are you religious?

Not really :/

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

A good amount of times

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

Nope

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

Not that I know of- at least the mainstream limelight sorta way.

24. Baths or showers?

Showers easily

25. What color socks are you wearing?

I’m not wearing any atm but the last pair i was wearing was like- black and white?

26. Have you ever been famous?

no….? 

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Depends for what reason but sure, why not

28. What type of music do you like?

Electronic, ambiance, indie, rock, musical-like kind of- really depends

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

no and i dont plan to lol

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

One.

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

Fetal/one my side or on my back usually, stomach too sometimes

32. How big is your house?

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

Usually something with eggs and milk- I have been really inconsistent with what I eat for breakfast atm

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Yes 

35. Have you ever tried archery?

No 

36. Favorite clean word?

uhhh…? Cocoa? I dont know LOL

37. Favorite swear word?

Faggot

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

21 hours..? I was doing hw overnight.

39. Do you have any scars?

Very tiny amount but nothing noticeable unless you’re trying to find them actively

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? 

yeah.

41. Are you a good liar?

Not really

42. Are you a good judge of character?

Depends, wouldnt say I own the truth

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Not unless its bad so not really

44. Do you have a strong accent?

Some people have told me I have one but i dont think so

45. What is your favorite accent?

I wouldnt say I have a favorite its not something I care about actively- I know the ones I dont like though.

46. What is your personality type?

I dont really know I feel like people have a different perspective of that and idk who i really am usually

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

I had a jacket from Ferrari but idk what happened to it- not sure 

 48. Can you curl your tongue?

Yes

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Thankfully innie

50. Left or right handed?

Right

51. Are you scared of spiders?

No

52. Favorite food?

I almost never have a problem with milk-related food

53. Favorite foreign food?

Alot ..? really depends on my mood but sushi usually works for me

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

I’m personally very hygienic and my room imo is well kept- not OCD organized but theres nothing on the floor  and it has a sense of order

55. Most used phrased?

Really can change so idk - just depends on the season really

56. Most used word?

uh/idk/fuck/shit i think is what i abuse

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

Really depends but assuming im showering and trying to look nice about 45 mins at worst?

58. Do you have much of an ego?

No

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Suck and then bite when its too small

60. Do you talk to yourself?

Rarely and its usually about shit i need to do- thats it really

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Not USUALLy  but yeah

62. Are you a good singer?

no lol

63. Biggest Fear?

Failing 

64. Are you a gossip?

depends but yeah i can be sometimes

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

idk I thought inception was very dramatic

66. Do you like long or short hair?

Depends, if the long hair isnt well kept/cleaned it might as well be short imo

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Probably not because I forget most of them

68. Favorite school subject?

P.E

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Introverted 

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

Yes, I dont care for it

71. What makes you nervous?

Being shat on I guess and treated poorly or anything that’ll fuck me over

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Depends, if the area has sharp objects/cockroaches, creepy noises yeah

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Depends but usually no unless it really bothered me or they want to hear me

74. Are you ticklish?

Depends but yeah i dont like being tickled it is not comfy

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

No lol

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Not really

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Barely 

78. Have you ever done drugs?

No

79. Who was your first real crush?

Some ginger who literally had ODD and hurt me badly after I showed interest back

80. How many piercings do you have?

one pair is closed up , so just one pair.

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

Yeah

82. How fast can you type?

Id say above average , probably enough to type for a job or something

83. How fast can you run?

I have no idea tbh

84. What color is your hair?

Dirty blonde/almost brown

85. What color is your eyes?

Greyish seagreenish blue

86. What are you allergic to?

Nothing as far as I know

87. Do you keep a journal?

No

88. What do your parents do?

They’re both in the medical field

89. Do you like your age?

Idk not really? so far its lame?

90. What makes you angry?

Some shit i aint gonna talk about, but in a more personal sense usually being shat on, lied to upfront, etc

91. Do you like your own name?

It’s ok ..? idk if it deeply reflects me

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

Not really LOL

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

With how shit the world is idk , seems like an L either way and im scared of having an ugly one

94. What are you strengths?

Id say I can tolerate more than normal people and my patience can be really plentiful usually. I dont get easily offended even if i dont agree usually

95. What are your weaknesses?

I think people influence my mood throughout the day, which really sucks, im also sensitive and i feel excluded usually

96. How did you get your name?

My mom thought it was a strong name

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

No

98. Do you have any scars?

39 already asked this, cringe

99. Color of your bedspread?

Grey :)

100. Color of your room?

Very tinge of color but it looks pretty much grey and expresso minus the lil decor everywhere…

thank yuo

#question #aboutme #long #fuckoe

[tumblunni]

Also yeah while im on the subject

I really hate fantasy settings where magic is limited by biological sex. Because usually its used to enforce some sort of stupid gender stereotype that the writer believes is "biologically innate" rather than predjudice, by making up a world where it actually is biologically innate. Or its like "oh but women cant do those jobs" but again, a made up excuse for it to be LITERALLY TRUE. And usually they either dont even touch on the subject of trans and gay people (since it often conflates heterosexuality with gender...) or else it actually does bring it up and just creates a cavalcade of even more everything-ism...

Like i mean i love the game Jade Coccoon and considering it came out in the early 2000s i can understand it being more sexist, and its supossed to be a dark game anyway and a lot of the societal structures in Syrus Village are meant to be wrong and evil even if the characters act like its the way the world should be. The villain of the game is basically the toxic atmosphere of your shitty town and their paranoia of things they don't understand. Tho that means the player kinda has no motivation to finish it cos the main conflict is also saving those same villagers from dying and theyre all fucks. Anyway i'm going offtopic! What i mena is that i dont think it was a particularly sexist example of the inexplicable gender segregated magic trope. But just cos its a fave game of mine im gonna pick it to talk about anyway. Hope i dont sound too negative on it, cos seriously i love it loads!

Ok so to use Jade Cocoon as an example, here its a thing that only men can be cocoon masters and only women can be nagi. Tho it also gets a bit complicated because nagi is also an ethnicity as well? Its kinda like being romani, they're a race of displaced people who travel the world giving their magical services to other countries while searching for their lost homeland, which you end up finding at the end of the game. So yeah its extra weird cos male children of the nagi race are born with no powers whatsoever and cant even become cocoon masters, yet they get the ruling position in this homeland place? Like thats a better metaphor for how christian societies work, honestly!

Anyway im going offtopic again!

Basically, cocoon master = adventurer dude who catches monsters, nagi = magician who purifies those monsters so you can use them in battle. So when you catch stuff it becomes an inventory item rather than being able to use it on your team right away. And also nagi women can fuse monsters together to make super badass new ones and basically the gameplay system works really well to make you believe your wife is absolutely necessary to your quest and you would die without her, even if she cant fight. And honestly its actually kinda romantic! I just wish it wasnt presented as this weird sacred heterosexuality arranged marriage nonsense where all women are physically unable to go to a dungeon and all men are physically unable to not fight every day. Or at least thats how the powers work and if you try and step out of that role you fuckin die. Like it would be romantic to have a couple of a battle partner and a supporter magician if they actually chose it, yknow?

And whats annoying is that they actually do bring up the subject of people defying gender roles and canonically state that you not omly die but bring a curse upon everyone and are hated forever. They dont mention trans or gay people, instead the excuse is that a man loved his wife so much that he tried to learn nagi magic to lift the burden from her. Cos oh yeaj women get 'punished' by god for doing this magic?? Cursed tattoos all over their body the more they use it, and everyone hates them and eventually they turn into a fairy and forget they were ever human. And in the japanese version you can actually fight other nagi women who met this fate, theyre just another monster that you can fight and capture. They were censored in english cos they looked like really racist stereotypes of black women! Ugh! So yeah anyway nice straight husband is punished by the magic straightness enforcing rules of the universe for loving his straight wife too much. So what is the even point? If a man tries to use nagi magic it creates the "black cocoon" of cursed doomness and blah. Literal punishment for not conforming to gender. Damned if you do, damned if you don't!

Anyway this setting always made me wonder about all the stuff it just glosses over with this implication that every one of these relationships worked out fine. Like even before we rub lgbtq topics all over a retro videogame, there's a lot of logical holes! Like seriously how many of these arranged marriages ended up loveless or abusive? How many women just didnt want to stay confined to one room forever and not even have anyone look at them because their magic markings are shameful yet its also shameful not to want to do it?? How many men were terrified of going out on this advebture fighting literal demigods sent by heaven to punish humans? How many of them just had no ability to fight and died immediately because of shitty traditions, while perfectly qualified women had to sit there and watch it happen? What if there werent enough straight men and women of the same age and people were forced into gross pedophilic shit or other horror scenarios just cos there has to be this one magical straight couple or the village dies? Whenever theres this stupid gender magic its ALWAYS portrayed as idyllic and never failing ever, unless *gasp* people dont follow the gendrules...

And then SERIOUSLY do no queer people exist in this universe?? Man i'd be so interested in their stories! I actually had an oc idea of a self insert version of me as a travelling merchant. Because maybe what if nonbinary people could do both sides of the magic at once and thus adventure alone without being tied to a village's straight marriage system? So i'd just go around purifying monsters and then be a place you could buy new and rare mons from other villages without having to catch them. Maybe an easier way to get the super rare drop fusion materials for tiger pattern and stuff? And like seriously itd be good to have a character to talk to who agrees that your village is made of assholes. I cant say its bad writing cos it was clearly intentional, but they shoulda at least put a bit more incentive to keep playing even if you didnt care about these people. Also it would help plug the plothole of how a village even survives if it doesnt have the required people to form this magical straight marriage. Have some mysterious enby avengers who travel all across the world and save everyone regardless of country! All we ask is you buy some of our lovely souveniers! Maybe a pet patalchu for your family? Seripusly why dont they ever show anyone using the purified monsters for anything other than fighting the unpurified ones? You'd think they'd be really useful in repairing the village and guarding the walls and like..regular industrial jobs. Help the place actually advance and not have to live day to day on scraps,bickering amoungst themselves as the monsters grow ever closer to breaking through. Hell, you could even have them help spin the cocoons for other monsters! If this magic only depends on having a dick or not, then cant we just dress up some animals in the magic straight marriage outfits? XD

And like aaaa man im getting so emotional just imagining a trans woman who's constabtly told she will literally bring about the apocolypse if she tries to fill the female role in this ritual. And then one day she tries to spin the magic silk and she thinks she's committing the ultimate sin and they were all right. But the magic responds to her touch, and she makes a spell more beautiful than any other woman in the village! It would probably be harder for a trans man cos the magic doesnt have so much of an immediate proof like that. Just going out and winning a fight with a monster can be called "dumb luck", and knowing these assholes they'd probably keep calling it dumb luck even after the thousandth time you save their life!

And man, i wonder how gay relationships would work in such an annoyingly strict system of enforced heterosexuality? Would it be like the magic isnt REALLY gender locked at all, and it can just be any couple with either partner taking either role? Or would it be that it is one magic per gender but the bigoted villagers were wrong about it being impossible to do things without both? Like maybe when you're going into battle alone as a single cocoon master you cant fight without catching other monsters. But when two cocoon masters love each other their magic is amplified and they become able to like.. I dunno.. Imbue each other with elemental strength so they can fight the monsters hand to hand? Cos really the elemental system is the only reason you cant do a no monsters run of the game as it is. Maybe since they cant purify monsters but they can still catch them, they equip the monsters as sort of a power rangers transformation? Or socket them like materia on their weapons? Or just if the world was less segregated into tiny sexist racist villages they could simply buy the purification coccoons from another local nagi, and villages without a coccoon master could buy the services of travelling ones. Oh, and maybe two nagi lesbians could be even more badass! Cos if they can only purify and not fight, maybe their double purification is so strong that they can just straight up walk into the forest and monsters don't attack them. They dont even need to do the full spell, they can calm a beastie's rage just by holding out their hand and patting it on the head. So they coukd be infinately more effective and not have to just tenporarily clear single travelling routes of a few monsters, but actually work towards slowly purifying the entire forest and creating a peaceful land again. Tho i mean the game did have a unique atmosphere with the whole 'no hope of ever beating them' aspect. It was unique to see a society formed around the idea of never going into forests or you Die. But magical lesbians and their family of a million pet dragons is honestly better!

And uhhhh ive gone all offtopic now and i camt stop thinking about how much i love magical lesbians with a million pet dragons

The End

[eue]

my unfortunate visit to the gynecologist yesterday

so I had a bar in my arm for birth control (nexplanon) for over 3 years, it was long overdue to be taken out for a few months and I was finally able to go in and get it out yesterday. my best friend took me and brought her baby with her you know, for emotional support and stuff

the appointment was OK but there were a few things that really bothered me while I was there... Firstly, the nurse just asked me some basic stuff, what medications I was taking, and if I wanted to get another bar put in. I was like hell no to the bar, and expressed that I'd like to start the pill. The nurse told me to make sure to take it at the same time every day otherwise i would end up with a baby, like my friend. I understand that its a completely necessary precaution, but I just laughed a little nervously and told her that I'm a lesbian so I'm not too worried about the risk of getting pregnant. She seemed puzzled and asked me why I wanted birth control again, and I told her that my periods are really heavy and I wanted to regulate them. I was glad that she was respectful of my answer and didnt question me anymore, however, she didnt ask me any questions about how I felt on the bar, what my symptoms were, or why I didn't want to go back on it, so I took the liberty to explain to her the suffering I've been enduring over the last few years because of it, since I've been dying to tell a professional about it. I told her that for the first year of being on it I bled almost non stop, and that before i got the birth control I rarely had cramps on my period but they eventually became a regular occurance, and more recently (this year) I've been experiencing excrutiating pain on my period (which I still get about two times a month) to the point of almost being unable to get out of bed/participate in any kind of activity even after taking ibuprofen. The nurse was sympathetic but seemed really disinterested and provided no other feedback besides "thats awful, I'm sorry", as if what I was telling her was unimportant.

I thought maybe the doctor would be more interested in hearing about all of that, but I was wrong, and she even cut me off when I tried to explain my concerns as if she really just didnt care. I dont understand why these medical professionals are so disinterested in hearing about my body's negative reaction to what was supposed to be one of the most "painless and symptom free" forms of birth control. I'm guessing its probably because they know they can't do anything to help me and also because doctors dont care to think twice before putting young girls and women on unpredictable and possibly harmful forms of hormone control as long as it keeps them from getting pregnant.

The doctor struggled a bit with the extraction of the bar, which I don't blame her for, as it was in there for a long time and she explained that muscle tissue had began to grow over it making it really difficult to pull out in one piece.

After she put a pressured dressing on my arm she asked me again if I was wanting to take the pill. I said "yeah, just to regulate my periods" and she expressed to me with great urgency that I need to pick up my prescription ASAP and take it right away as I could get pregnant if I don't take it immediately. I felt a little nervous and awkward again so i just said "thanks, but Im actually a lesbian, so I dont think im at high probability to get pregnant anyways" she gave me kind of a weird smile and said "well you never know! your sexuality could always change as you mature, you definitely might not stay that way forever, besides, what if you decide you want kids some day?" I started to feel a little sick to my stomach after she said this so all I did was smile and give her a nervous laugh. She made a point to ask me if I was in a healthy relationship and I said yes. I was basically silent until she left the room and the second we left the building i was ranting and raving to my friend about how utterly unnecessary her doubt in my sexuality was. I'm 19 and have had enough romantic and sexual relations with a vareity of people to be able to figure out what my preference is and narrow down what is essential to me in a romantic/sexual partner.

My (straight) friend expressed to me confusion in why the doctor was curious about the nature of my relationship, as throughout her entire pregnancy and numerous vists to the gynecologist no one /ever/ asked her if her relationship was "healthy"

I was kind of surprised by this because i figured the doctor would ask everyone this, regardless of their sexuality. Isn't it kind of dangerous to assume that a pregnant woman is safe in her relationship just because its heterosexual, given most domestic abuse cases are perpetrated by men?

anyways, this is long enough, I just wanted to vent about this somewhere. If you actually read it all thanks for being interested in my life!

#personal #homophobia #misogyny

[winterywitch]

anyway heres a summary of my discourse beliefves:

cishet aces/aros do not belong in gay spaces, bi spaces, lesbian spaces or trans spaces

for me my whole life the LGBT community has been more than that. my perspective is not that of some sad brainwashed child, forced into being more ~tolerant~ than i should be. i genuinely believe and have always believed the LGBT community is more than that, and im not just gonna drop that anytime soon, because i dont think the right to only consider the LGBT community as for “SGA and trans” people is liberation.

therefore cishet aces/aros belong in ace/aro spaces, which for me, count as LGBT.

but not gay, bi, lesbian or trans spaces.

there will be overlap because they are LGBT. but no, cishet aces/aros should have no claim to anything specifically for the L, G, B or T of the community.

for me the community is

Lesbians

Gay men

Bisexuals [SGA or not - as an SGA bi person, i get to speak on this.

Pansexuals

Trans people

Nonbinary people [counting agender, genderfluid, genderqueer, etc. non-cis, non-binary identities]

Intersex people (of course should they want to - the point of this list isn't YOU HAVE TO BE LGBT it's You Can Be Included)

Queer people [anyone who isn't cis or isn't het, including aroace people. non sga bi people im a little iffy on re: them 'reclaiming' queer]

Allies [i think this is important for people in the closet, as long as we dont let cishets get too big for their britches]

Aroaces

and hell, here’s a + to include anything i might have forgotten

aroaces are not functionally cishet.

straight privilege is straight privilege. it isnt not-homophobia privilege. to experience straight privilege you must be straight.

they definitely benefit from not experiencing homophobia. they can be absolute dumbasses abt homophobia for that exact reason.

but they dont experience straight privilege, because they’re not straight. that is all straight privilege has ever meant for me in my LGBT community.

cishet aces are cishet, and also aces. this means they benefit from cis privilege and straight privilege, but aphobia weighs down that straight privilege because they dont perform straightness in the Right way. i dont believe this necessarily makes them systemically oppressed the same way we are. but i dont believe aro or ace identities are privileged either.

there is no coherent Ace Community boogieman that is unanimously a bunch of homophobic, transphobic, racist jackasses, and if you believe that, you are a complete dumbass

yeah, the ace community is comprised of white cishets but, im gonna wager even more commonly, its comprised of literally every LGBT identity and race you can imagine. the ace community is not the white cishet community. it’s the community of everyone who IDs as ace or aro. this is not white cishets as a rule, as a majority, or even half the time.

that being said, inclusionists can say some stupid, shortsighted shit sometimes that is completely ignorant of LGBT history/oppression. i dont agree with the implications that i dont stand for every single thing they say and will not be held accountable for every single thing they say.

similarly, unless you wanna be held accountable for every single thing your side says/does before being allowed to call us out, uh, dont expect the same of us. the onus for this is on exclusionists, i have been around long enough to know you guys started this one. it is up to you guys to start being decent on that one, and then we’ll follow suit. those of us who dont are jackasses.

you are never at liberty EVER to explain to an ace person why their abuse or rape took place. that is called gaslighting, and no, you don’t get to throw a fit when someone calls this what it is. when you call a rape/abuse survivor an annoying disgusting freak for daring to talk about why their rape/abuse happened (since they factually know why it happened and you dont) and then proceed to insist that your headcanon of their trauma is the correct interpretation and theirs is not because theyre a filthy cishet ace (which they rarely are), that is quite literally the definition of gaslighting. and hey, don’t do it.

you are never at liberty EVER to explain to an ace person why their parents forced them into Therapy Specifically Designed To Convert Them Away From Asexuality (which may have a more efficient, shorter name). you dont know how that therapy worked or how the therapist worked because you werent there. you dont know that it was only because of homophobia so therefore this person has no right to claim their own trauma.

not everyone you hate is a cishet ace. don’t call people cishet aces unless you know for a fact they are cishet aces. i imagine you wouldnt want to call a trans lesbian a cishet, which exclusionists have done too many times for me to count. your platform should not be “you said something stupid and harmful, youre a cishet ace,” it should be “you said something stupid and harmful, end of statement.”

for some reason this is a controversial point in some discourse circles, but no one owes you sex. your partners don’t owe you sex. relationships do not equal sex. relationships do not even equal romantic love. relationships are a decision between multiple people on closer emotional intimacy.

if romantic and sexual aspects of a relationship are necessary for you, that’s understandable and okay! but you aren’t OWED that. people don’t need to out themselves as aro or ace for you. people dont need to feel pressured to give you anything they dont want to give. and you dont need to stay in relationships that dont make you happy.

allosexual privilege is not real. no one but white cishet men are 100% celebrated and privileged for experiencing sexual attraction. even white cishet women are oppressed for their attraction in many ways, and repressed from early childhood - so you can imagine how absolutely horrific sex-based oppression is for the LGBT community. we are not celebrated for sexual attraction, we are treated like we are dirty, and we are sexual predators.

WITHIN THE COMMUNITY, yeah, sometimes we are definitely, blatantly favored over aces, and people run around saying asexuality is unnatural, and sexual attraction is what makes us human. this is harmful and damaging, and it shouldn’t happen. i dont consider it systemic oppression and it definitely does not make allosexual privilege a thing.

calling people allosexuals is not something i condone. its not comparable to “cis” as a label, because cis people are an actual oppressor class towards trans people - non-ace LGBP folks are not towards ace people.

intracommunity bigotry is real and it is traumatic. people devalue it constantly and pretend it’s just a slap on the wrist, but it is an absolutely traumatic thing to have to face every day of your life. but it isnt the same as OPPRESSION, and we dont have to conflate the two concepts for intracommunity bigotry to be treated with the seriousness it deserves.

similarly, dont call people REGs unless they are not only aphobes but also truscum or TERFs. i also personally dont really believe in equating aphobes with truscum/TERFs but i dont believe in silencing trans people who openly talk about the similarities, either.

dont call people AERFs unless youre a trans woman holy shit

as someone who was directly affected by the truscum discourse when it happened [not debatable, by the way], this is pretty much recycled truscum discourse in my eyes. you dont need to lecture me on how its not.

just because someone on the “other side” called something you did ableist, misogynist, homophobic, transphobic, racist, etc., does not mean you get to shut your eyes and plug your ears. ESPECIALLY if you are part of a privileged class relevant to that accusation. for example as a white exclusionist you dont get to ignore the concerns of inclusionists of color or lecture them on the racism of the ace community. for example as a cis inclusionist [or honestly, even just a non-trans-woman inclusionist] you dont get to ignore the concerns of trans exclusionist women or lecture them on the similarities between TERFs and exclusionists.

“aspec” is not exclusively for the autistic community and i have NEVER seen claims that it was until ace discourse started. thats transparent as fuck to me and youre not fooling anyone. dont just make shit up lmfao

jokes about how Oh Lol Cringe aces inherently are, arent funny especially considering how many of these Jokes are steeped in anti-autistic ableism

idk when this happened but recently ableist jokes are the new Hot Topic of Comedy and thats like, mind-numbingly bad

i dont care what side youre on, IF YOU ARE USING THINGS LIKE FICTIONAL CP/PEDOPHILIC SHIPS/INCEST/RAPE CONTENT TO COPE WITH YOUR TRAUMA, YOU BETTER BE DOING THAT SHIT IN PRIVATE, ONLY SHARING IT WITH LIKE-MINDED, ADULT SURVIVORS, AND NEVER LETTING THAT CONTENT CIRCULATE OUTSIDE OF THAT GROUP. end of story. no ifs, ands or buts about it. speaking as a survivor who uses stuff like this to cope, being a survivor does not give you a free pass to, inadvertently or not, contribute to the pedophilia and circulation of grooming material on the internet. it is your RESPONSIBILITY as a survivor to not continue that cycle. if you avoid that responsibility, you have no right to play victim or pull the “im a survivor ;-;” card when people call you out on this.

educating kids on asexuality is not pedophilia, grooming or sexual abuse. jesus christ lmfao you dont have to assume people word it in a way thats inappropriate or predatory just because theyre pro-ace. kids NEED label/identity options, they are discovering who they are and without a label that fits for them, theyll likely feel like shit. let them have their labels. knowing about asexuality might greatly improve their life if it fits them!

for this reason, stop being weird about mogai labels/trying to “ban” them from everyone’s vocabulary/trying to turn them into some Cringe Joke that is only about Cishets Trying To Be Special. they didn’t fuck over EVERYONE.

inclusionists, in advising kids and questioning people who ask you for answers, be more open-ended. the insistence of “oh youre not a lesbian you’re a quioromantic demi-homosexual!” without also making it ok to just be a lesbian is what hurt and confused so many people on their journey to discovering their identity and its why they resent the whole mogai thing, fairly so. make it okay to just be a lesbian, or just be gay, or just be bi, or just be trans, while letting people know their other, more specific options.

asexuality is not an NSFW or TMI orientation

ace headcanons arent INHERENTLY homophobic, racist or ableist. they absolutely can be and ive seen that shit with my Own Two Eyes [pure innocent baby ace autistic papyrus headcanons back in the undertale fandom (shudders)], but they are not INHERENTLY so.

headcanons for characters with marginalized identity labels that arent identical to the ones you headcanon that character with are not oppression. and you dont get to police this shit as if its factually wrong

absolutely zero sexual interactions with minors ever, thanks!

trying to Bother The Pure Aceys by talking about sex is unacceptable

posting bullshit in ace positivity tags is unacceptable

stop calling people doing nothing but talking about their experiences “freaks”???

dont engage in the whole Oh There Are Valid Identities And There Are Special Snowflake Identities thing its not a very good look

biphobia is its own thing independent of homophobia

biphobia perpetuated within the community isnt necessarily systemic oppression but its traumatic and wrong and shouldnt be treated like some Lol Cringe Joke

you cant just say UM THAT LITERALLY NEVER HAPPENS???? when someone calls your side out on shit lgfkhghgfh especially when it literally does, all the damn time

ace [IRL person, whether or a celebrity or god forbid a flat out bigot] moodboards arent funny

you shouldnt agree to sex that you as an ace person dont want in a situation that you can control if the sex happens or not, but the pressure to provide sex to a non-ace partner is very real. stop blaming ace ppl for that pressure lol speaking as a victim of coercive sexual abuse, you cannot blame the one who didnt want it, even if they COULD have spoken up.

you’re not a bad person for wanting sex if your ace partner doesn’t. there is nothing immoral about not being ace. you just dont get to have sex anyway and you arent owed it if you are set on this committed, monogamous relationship - if sex is a big deal to you, you need to leave that relationship or work out an open situation.

laughing off peoples’ experiences as The Discourse is completely unacceptable, it encourages people to shut up and never analyze themselves and their identities

its not cute in your ace ship headcanons if the ace character is an asshole that rolls their eyes @ or judges their non-ace partner

similarly its not cute in your ace ship headcanons if the non-ace partner is an asshole that rolls their eyes @ or judges their ace partner

you dont get to tell people “ok you identify as heteroflexible but ACTUALLY you’re [insert identity]” literally ever, i understand the concern with people using “safe” identity labels to avoid facing their LGBT identities but acting on that concern in that way is not concern, its concern-trolling and its not fuckin okay.

legitimizing your own identity by delegitimizing the identities of others is bad

DO NOT, AND I REPEAT, DO NOT, BLANKET-TERM PEOPLE AS QUEER, LITERALLY EVER. DONT DO IT

DONT FUCKIN DO IT!!!!! NOT EVERYONE HAS RECLAIMED THAT SLUR, AND IT IS 100% A SLUR ON TOP OF BEING A CULTURE WITHIN THE COMMUNITY

JESUSS CHRIST DONT FUCKIGN DO IT!!!! WHEN YOU REFERENCE THE QUEER COMMUNITY YOU BETTER ONLY MEAN PPL WHO CALL THEMSELVES QUEER AND HAVE RECLAIMED IT/ARE PART OF THAT SUBCULTURE

we need more nonsexual, non-alcoholic spaces for LGBT folk that are safe for minors, trauma survivors and ace people, but thats not our fault, the prevalence of sexual and alcoholic spaces exists because we were literally not allowed to exist anywhere else until very, VERY recently, and even now it’s a Barely thing

you cant tell someone their experiences didnt happen like my god

we think ace discourse is about more than cishets because exclusionists make it about asexuality as a whole. you guys cant make it about more than cishets and then be like But Ok It’s Just About Cishets You IRrational Crazies?? :/

yes self harm through exposing oneself to the discourse tag is possible, no it’s not funny, no it’s not just ~cishets~doing that, triggers are not exclusive to PTSD survivors, shut the actual fuck up

you dont have any room to comment on the validity of quasiplatonic relationships if you’re not in one, most of the time you guys complaining about them and saying theyre Special Snowflake Things dont actually know what they are. mind your own business lol let people live

if youre not intersex, you dont get to tell people that the intersex community doesnt wanna consider itself LGBT, so they are wrong for saying intersex people are allowed to consider themselves LGBT. youre not being a good ally. sit down, shut up and let intersex people talk amongst themselves.

[to be added to at some point im sure]

asexuals STOLE dragons from CHILDREN to make themselves seem PURE AND INNOCENT, the MONSTERS

#discourse tag

[dauntless-dragayn]

some Things about Lave*

*in a Disorganized thought stream format 

-ahEM!-

[copy paste from the google doc] (under a cut because its LONG)

Bluster. A lot of the shit lave says is bluster. Shes just good at making people believe it

Shes a great liar but no one suspects it

The dark makes her nervous, (even before the events of the series) not that she would ever in a million years admit it 

Which is partly why she loves fire

Younger blake got upset when she played with matches and lighters, and she also realized people saw any amount of fire as a direct threat, so she learned to play with it alone or not at all

But she has to keep her hands busy somehow??

So lave does some strictly Unnecessary^™ stealing from tourists

At first its just bits and bobs like paper clips or clicky pens

But she took a rubix cube one and damn did she love that thing

Someone stole it from her

What a bitch

So she found less flashy but equally entertaining fidget things to play with

In the time when Blake originally went missing she stopped

Whatever she had was quickly traded away for information that didnt help

All energy went into that search and she lost something of herself in those weeks

Now she has less healthy ways of energy coping

Grinding her teeth, chewing her lip, scratching her skin raw, tearing off scabs and causing bleeding, ect

Her resting face is that bitchy casual smirk of chaos

But you’ll know shes truly tired if shes got that stony ‘actually done with your bullshit’ face on

Swearing is extremely entertaining to her

She does it considerably less around Blake however, out of habit

You’ll notice she DOESNT swear if things are really serious

Just like Blake, she has a definite weak spot for animals

She tries to hide it more though

But if lave sees an animal being abused you can Bet Your Ass she’ll recklessly run in and rescue it

After the fact she’ll take to comforting/bandaging up the animal before taking care of any of her own wounds

She actually doesnt like to take it to an animal hospital (right away) because the animal is most likely terrified of anyone 

So she inadvertently become really good at veterinary care 

She always has some meat on hand but its not for herself its for stray animals

Even though meat is worth so much on the streets and she really needs it herself

It frustrates Raymin but Blake will end up doing the same thing if he tries to stop Lave so he quickly gives up

Although not quite as bad as Tobias in her worst times, Lave tended to hide in her dragon form

Her worst time being after Sam left. She could largely abandon her pangs for affection in that form and, in general, leave behind things that reminded her of him

It was only Blake settling (around/right before the time Oberon showed up) that could bring her back

And then of course, Erin

Erin erin erin 

Lave had definitely looked at girls before, but in a distant way

Boys were flashy, boys were easy, the obvious choice

But they didnt grip her heart and body like girls did

She didnt have internalized homophobia dont get me wrong.. But anything or anyone who has that kind of power over her is a threat and Lave does not like feeling threatened

Still… when Sam left her, she had a hard time pretending to like those flashy boys

They were all like him, if toned down

And look what happened there.

So she turns away from boys

And her heart is broken, shes not ready for anything

But… but when she stopped looking at boys… she couldnt stop looking at girls..

(blake met oberon right about here so he has the audacity to try and encourage her. In all seriousness he really wanted her to move on from Sam and if that meant some flings with ladies he didnt care)

And thats right about when she met Erin

Lave didnt think about stupid stuff like her ‘type’

But no one, especially not her, expected Erin

Short, thick, ex art student and accented latina

Erin made lave at once powerless and stronger then anything

Stronger than that stupid coward of a boy who broke and ran, too

Lave is most well known on the streets for her wild appearance at the clubs

Listen, she has good taste in music and she graces wherever she goes so as a result

She decides which ones are The Shit which ones are shit

she befriends the Djs almost every time

Theres even rumors of her hooking up with them, but the only time shes actually followed up on mere teasing was this one female dj called LAcced (pronounced Laced)- african american lesbian badass (her real name is Lucy but lave doesnt know that till they smoOCH) her look is those laced hIGH tops and and fang+poison makeup on her face

There are some really good dancers around, dont get me wrong, but its the way people feel when watching her dance that really lets her stand out

They can see that her soul is soaring with the invisible wings fluttering in tune to the music

But she denies being the best dancer if seriously inquired about it, because she knows people really work at this and build their bodies for it which is different from just running on passion

(Its probably the only thing shes at all humble about)

(But she lives on the crowds she draws)

her taste in music is pretty variable, but she will not hesitate to demand something more intense while shes there

Smart people wont argue

And then they realize “holy hell this IS amazing”

and then they all stare at lave who admittedly wears more revealing stuff to dance in

If youre not gay ya gay for her thats the rule sorry not sorry

shes just… goals af mhmmm

who needs to get drunk when you can get high on the bass crashing through your body?

and oH bOY

if you thought she was competitive 

Wait till youve seen her in a dance off

She doesnt do it often but

When she does SHE GOES ALL. IN.

Which isnt to say she wins all the time, she doesnt

But in the end she almost always wins a friend in the opposing dancer/s

(And faints after dragging herself off the dancefloor oops)

Which brings me to dance partners

Does she have them

The answer is

Naw

Not unless its a) that dj she hooked up with making a rare trip to the floor or b) no actually thats it she flies solo

julia is her biggest fan yeah shes the mom friend sue me

Blake sometimes dances against her those hecking cute competitive siblings

Erin doesnt dance but damn can she appreciate her girlfriend doing it

#Lave #My OCs #my writing #(NOT REALLY OMF) #Blake #Erin #Julia #Raymin #Tobias #Tacsho

[argaliaofficial]

i started typing this earlier but then had to go to work so now im just gonna finish it so i get it off my chest

back when i was with my first ex, meg, we went to this private christian school i prolly made a post about this on here before but its topical right now i didnt sleep at all and im tired enough to spill my fucking guts out some more 

so anyway we went to this private christian school and thats when it happened. ive honestly repressed a lot of my time there i was not doing great but what i do remember just makes me feel sick. like, meg aside, the school just sucked. 

for context the way it was set up was that we had “placement tests” to see where we were in subjects like math and english, and however we did made us get placed in PACEs according to our skill level. in theory this is fine i suppose, but the thing was that there were no alternatives to the PACEs. 

PACEs were part of the learning curriculum of our school which was ACE- Accelerated Christian Learning. they were basically little study pamphlets that went over instructions on how to learn certain subjects and whatnot, while also having a christian perspective on things. scripture verses were abundent in them, and they had like a continuous series of comics going in there about their character Ace Virtuson and friends. 

Along with the PACEs, the classrooms were set up like an “office” of sorts with cubicles that you sat in. For me honestly that was one of the many hells because it was so cramping and clinical and I just do not learn well in that sort of environment. so you’d sit quietly for like 8 hours a day with occassional breaks with nothing but your PACE pamphlets to work on. you couldnt speak to any body, and if you needed help, there was a flag system in place where you’d put a flag up and have to sit around and wait for a teacher to come assist you, and usually their assistance only lasted briefly because theres countless OTHER students to get to, and nepotism is a thing and if they dont like you or think of you as a problem kid, you’re less likely to get the aid you need.

i was one of those problem kids. 

early on, i could manage that set up when my work was easier, but when i hit “high school age” and got into more advance work i began to suffer horribly. it didnt help that at this time, i got with meg, but less about her right now and more about how this school system fucking failed me and others tbh 

i do not learn by reading information. at least, i dont retain it. i need to discuss with people, with my peers and professors. i need one on one sometimes, especially with math- my biggest struggle. but how the school was set up made that sort of learning almost impossible. your peers were all at different levels, so group discussion was rare. their were attempts, but they never lasted long, and the extent of the help basically surmounted to the teachers just reading what the PACEs already said and vaguely explaining more, and that blew. 

so, me, being a hands on group learner who has to talk and listen to even retain information and needs to be allowed to move around often instead of being cramped up, started to fall behind in my studies. badly. and of course, instead of the teachers trying to asses WHY it was you were falling behind, you got written up and had to have your parents sign a slip. you could get written up for a few things and these were always detentions of sorts. usually they were lunch but if you were bad enough you’d get an after school one. i accumulated these almost once a day and after a while i got tired of having my parents sign them EVERY SINGLE day and just forged their signatures. i got away with that like 75% of the time lol 

like they were just for the same shit ‘oh ur kid didnt do their homework blah blah ur kids out of dress code blah blah” and so i was just “whatever” because like... nothing seemed to change i was just being perpetually punished for being unable to keep up in my studies. my parents tried to get a math tutor for me but halfway thru i think freshman year she moved and that was that

i got so fucking sick of just being behind while my other peers seemed to be moving forward that i started bullshitting my work just to get thru. ofc that didnt do anything because i wasnt learning the work, and because i lied about my answers and cheated i got punished again. and i was just like “whatever” 

i cried all the time. parent teacher conferences were hell. i always cried. it felt like i couldnt convey to them why i was such a fuckup. like i wasnt making sense, or i was being overemotional. instead of trying to make changes they just talked about how i had to work harder. least i think. i’ll be honest i always just disassociated during those meetings before going into meltdown mode.

on top of that, i was in a “gay” relationship with a classmate, and lots of bad stuff happened. ive always had an overactive imagination. great for being a wannabe artist. not so great when youre already an easily manipulated undiagnosed autistic child. me, her, and my current gf actually had our own little world! thinking back on this now, for me at least it was escapism to try and just cope with how miserable i was at school 

i dont know how soon in the “relationship” it was before things got sexual. my concept of time during those years at foursquare is so scattered. according to posts ive seen on dA me and her were together or at least “friends” for 2 years? so actually i think my saying “freshman year in high school” is inaccurate and things got bad the tail end of middle school and continued until i was a sophomore before switching schools.

ANYWAY, so yeah, along with all this school nonsense, i was in a gay relationship, one that was abusive in many aspects. ofc at the time i didnt know that i was being abused! i just thought yknow her forcing herself into me sexually was kinda par the course and i was already kinda a sexually curious kid growing up so like.. i was looking for that i guess? it hurting cuz she went in dry is just to be expected, yadda yadda. pretty sure i cried? and i know for a fact that i still sleep in the room where she raped me like that and its sometimes just “yea i was literally right in that spot when i was raped lol”

and she would constantly want me to touch her sexually too, and when i said “no” and pulled my hand away that she had been trying to force down her pants because i wasnt personally ready to do that she’d always complain and make me feel bad cuz i wasnt comfortable touching her. “i always get you off but you never get me off!” 

and at the time i didnt just tell her to fuck off cuz i didnt know any better. i didnt know that it was ok for me to not be ready to do that. i thought i was a bad person for not being ready to pleasure my partner, even tho its not my fault if shes ok w/ pleasuring me, and im ok with being pleasured (even tho tbh it was hit or miss sometimes she just did it lol), but im not ready to touch her, i guess? and like i tried to communicate with her and im pretty sure i told her that if she didnt wanna jerk me off cuz i couldnt do it to her yet that was fine but whatever

on the fourth of july she started groping me out in public while we watched the fireworks and i remember trying to get her to stop cuz i wasnt comfy with doing this in public cuz a) this was years ago and homophobia was a lot more common especially in this boonies town and b) i dont like seeing other couples being handsy in public so i dont want to be handsy in public either

and i remember while shes groping my chest and im trying to get her to stop theres this group of older kids in front of us and they see. and they start snickering. they started snickering at the sight. and i was so mortified and wanted to die.

looking back those kids should get hit by a fucking bus for laughing at someone getting molested and being obviously uncomfortable with it but i guess its funny cuz “lesbians! haha look at that pervy lesbo touching that other lesbian!”

and thats the story of why every fourth of july i want to kill myself

things kept progressing, ofc. i remember one night, while we were camping, i finally caved and fingered her. i forced myself to think “yeah ok i can do this” and i just thought the crippling anxiety i felt was cuz i was nervous to be intimate with my girlfriend for the first time like this, but really i was probably scared she was gonna hurt me since by that point she had. she had made herself perfectly clear in her mannerisms and tone of voice that she was stronger and bigger than me and could hurt me. 

and a few occasions she did. one time she started choking me so badly that i honestly thought “oh my god, shes going to kill me here at school”. i still sometimes feel her nails digging into my throat, and i dont think ive ever been as terrified in my life as i was in that moment. i dont think she would have stopped had a teacher not intervened. 

there was only one time i ever hit her, and that was before school started, and i had finally lost my shit over how much she kept fucking with me. all i remember was i came to school angry at her. over what i dont remember. she was always toying with my emotions, and i think that it had built up over the time that i finally snapped walked into class before school started, walked over to where she and alyss were talking, and a slapped her across the face before i walked over to my desk

i dont think i got in trouble for that cuz no one snitched? idk i mightve, but i didnt care. i was angry at her, angry at the school, and suicidal. 

i remember one time during a break i was crying. a teacher from another class came up to me and asked what was wrong. i told her i wanted to die. she just looked at me all uncomfortable. i think she mightve said something before walking off?

nothing came of that. 

i was more worried that i would get in trouble for being in a gay relationship than as apposed to thinking that these teachers- people who are supposed to protect their students- would help me. i gave up on them even recognizing the signs of me being abused. i feel like they wouldnt have even taken it as seriously as we were both “girls”, and this was back before talk of how women can be abusive was more common place. abuse was still strictly seen as male on female violence. and to some people, gay violence was comedic. 

eventually, one night, it all came to light. at least, that she and i were sexually involved. that week was a blur. she was taken out of school. it was brushed under the rug. everyone trying to save face i guess and keep other kids from finding out, but somehow i always felt like they knew. they knew that she was taken out of school because of me. because we were gay

i tried to move on, but my studies never got better. i just grew more jaded. i never did any work. i mouthed off to the teachers, continued getting detentions and just plainly stopped caring. no one could get me to do anything. i would play hooky. 

and that was just.... my life. perpetual anger at a system that failed me spectacularly. to this day i still hate that place. i cant be there. i was groped and molested and it was treated like nothing

so yeah

thanks for listening to my ted talks

#av talks #text #THIS IS HEAVY #rape mention #abuse mention

[bethanolia]

do all dem valentines numbers questions all 1-65 of em

aww jeez rick

1: Do you have a crush at the moment?

i mean i guess

2: Have you ever been deeply in love?

um gay?? but tyes

3: Longest relationship you've ever been in?

almost 4 years FUCK

4: Have you ever changed for someone?

i dunno i guess??? but like not on purpose??

5: How is your relationship with your ex?

LMAO

6: Have you ever been cheated on?

nop

7: Have you ever cheated?

unless u count kissing then no

8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating?

idk probs not

9: What's the most important part of a relationship?

the cuddles

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

serious i guess

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"?

nah lol if its over its over

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?

3

13: What's one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?

agreeing to go out with him

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?

15 i guess??? i mean really you should wait until its legal but kids gon do what kids gon do

15: Do you believe in the phrase "age is just a number"?

N O P E

16: Do you believe in "love at first sight"?

i mean i experienced it once when i first saw bubbleology

17: Do you believe it's possible to fall in love on the internet?

hghghghghhghggh

18: What do you consider a deal breaker?

cheating is an obvious one. lack of communication too i guess

19: How do you know it's time to end a relationship?

idk when your just not happy? it depends on the situation really

20: Are you currently in a relationship?

yassssss

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?

yes, but its pretty rare. i only say so because i do have like 2 friends who have stayed friends

22: Do you think people should date their friends?

if they want to?

23: How many relationships have you had?

3

24: Do you think love can last forever?

sure why not

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?

this is insanely vauge

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of?

nahh fam

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?

“U LIKE GIRLS ACCEPT IT” or “DO NOT DATE A FUCKBOY CALLED RAMON”

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?

i mean i have a very biased opinion due to my own experiences and LDRs in general make me p uncomfortable, but at the same time i have friends who are making it work so idk i wouldnt do it again if thats what you mean

29: What do you notice first about another person?

hair and eyes

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?

bi

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?

i mean as long as it wouldnt clash badly with my own mental illness..

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?

yes lmao

33: Do you want to get married one day?

Y E S

34: What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed?

NONONONONONOPE

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?

idk i like to think i could but i doubt it

36: Are you still a virgin?

nope

37: What's more important: Looks or personality?

personality

38: Do you enjoy love films?

nahhhh m8

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?

i mean my mums given me roses before?

40: Have you ever had a valentine?

i mean yes? i have been dating people on valentines day??

41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"?

going to a teashop, maybe having a picnic or something

42: Have you ever read "Romeo & Juliet"?

yeah?

43: What's more important: Your partner or your friends?

IF U WANNA BE MY LOVER, U GOTTA GET WITH MY FRIENDS

44: Would you consider yourself "romantic"?

hahahhaha

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

46: Have you ever been "friendzoned"?

no?

47: Which "famous couple" is your favorite?

idk all my faves have split up

48: What's your favorite love song?

love of my life by queen

49: Have you ever broken someone's heart?

according to him i “reached inside and tore him to shreds” im such a monster

50: If you're single, why do you think you are?

if i was it would be the amount of dabbing

51: Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy?

nice guy duh

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?

i mean i give it a lot, but i dunno if its actually good

53: Are you jealous of couples when you're single? 

lil bit

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on Facebook)?

ehhh idk kind of i guess? like i dont want my partner to be trying to hide it, unless they needed to (like theyre in the closet or something)

55: Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"?

BOY DO I

56: Have you ever "destroyed" a relationship?

do not even know what that means

57: Do you think it's silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?

i mean a lil bit? it really depends on the situation

58: Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship?

idk

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner's birthday or your anniversary?

nope

60: What's your opinion on open relationships?

as long as everyone consents its fine

61: Who's more important: Your partner or your family?

depends how long ive been with the partner

62: How do you define "cheating"?

doing pretty much anything with someone else without my permission  

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?

no???????

64: Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated?

a bit

65: Would you consider yourself a "cuddler"?

YASS