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harventheblorbo · 1 year

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Hi,I really like your work.So can I get a fanfic about optimus prime with a human reader,where the reader is struggling with the fact that optimus chose jack over them to guard the key to vector sigma.(optimus is the guardian of the reader and the reader blames mostly themselves for being too weak and regretting every past traumatic experience they shared with optimus.They dont blame jack or optimus.)The reader tries to hide it bcs they dont want to embarrass themselves(as they see it) any further in front of optimus,but the thoughts that everyone dislikes them creep up again and so they become distant and try to make themselves very quiet/serious(they think of everyone as an enemy who finds them annoying again).

Also optimus reaction to that,what would he do?But in general angst with comfort(maybe an explanation as to why optimus didnt chose them).

Sorry if its too long or something doesnt fit the rules of the blog(couldnt find them😂)

One shot of TFP Optimus with a reader that can't understand why Optimus choose jack to guard the key of vector Sigma and not them!

Containing; Optimus Prime

___ is gender neutral and human

Warning; Angst, and swearing.

One shot Summary; ___ can't wrap their head around that Optimus picked Jack to protect the key to vecter sigma but some special bot notices.

When Optimus gave Jack the Key, my heart shattered. Why? Why was I so upset that Optimus gave Jack the key? Was it because maybe I thought that Optimus thought as me as too weak? I couldn't blame him if he did.

I didn't wanna ask Optimus because I was just too embarrassed. What if he got too nervous to tell me and told a lie? I mean I don't think he would but still it kinda hurts. I mean there has to be a reasonable explanation. I put my pencil down and closed my notebook. My therapist had been recommending that I should do journaling so I can have my head clear.

I mean it worked a little bit. But to be honest I think it just made me seem more awkward. The Video game buzzed and I heard Jack and Raf exclaim how the other cheated. It was a 2006 game that Ratchet bought so I doubt that Raf would know how to hack it anyway. Miko tapped me on the shoulder.

"Hey ___, do you by chance have the answer for number 3 on our homework?" Miko asked as she sat down next to me with her homework. "Yeah, it's 8" I replied. To be honest, I haven't been feeling the best recently and felt tired.

"Thank you!" She yipped and ran off after writing the answer down. I did anything to help them as I thought I was responsible to do it since Jack had to do it all the time. But to be honest, I think my whole life is going to shit

But I don't wanna really bring it up to someone. What if I burden them? And who would be the right person to talk to it about it? Ratchet is always so grumpy and would brush me off. Arcee would just ask me to go away or something like that. Bulk head is too nice and I think I would overwhelm him. Ultra Magnus wouldn't be the best to go to for anything. So for now, I just keep quiet. Like I always have.

As the days pass, I realize how distant they have been with me. But then again Ive been distant with them and I think it's for the better. No one has really been talking to me. And whenever they do, its awkward and uncomfortable and small.

I don't really care anymore. I don't care about anything anymore. I can't tell if I'm pissed off or just pissed at my self for being a fuckin fool. I guess I was too late to realize when Optimus was more or less observing me throughout the week until I saw him walk up to the risen area for the humans.

"___? Is it alright if I have a word with you?" I heard Optimus's voice and looked up at him. His optics whirred a little bit and saw how focused he was. "Sure... What's up?" I replied. There was no one around so It was a perfect timing. "I'm sure I can speak on behalf of everyone and say that we are worried for you ___" There was brief science. I nodded to let him continue talking. "You've been distant to everyone. Even the children and it's worrying us. Tell me what's wrong. Please" Optimus leaned a little bit forward as I walked up to where he was.

"Well to be honest, I've been upset about the fact that you chose to give Jack the key..." I explained with a upset tone. Im honestly embarrassed to even be saying these words. I can feel my hands sweat as I fidget with my fingers.

Optimus blinked and pondered on what he was going to say. "I see now." He remarked. "Your wondering why I gave Jack the key and not you, I'm I correct?" Optimus asked. I couldn't do anything but nod my head. "___, the only reason I chose Jack to protect it was because Arcee asked me to." He explained. "Oh..." I quietly stated.

I kinda chuckled. "Well thanks for clearing it up" I thanked him as I looked at him fully while I scratched the back of my head a little. He simply nodded with a slight smile.

#tfp #tfp x reader #tfp fanfic #transformers #tfp optimus prime x reader #tfp optimus prime #tfp optimus #optimus prime

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cogbreath · 4 months

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vent below idk what image to give to make it worth your while have geeked up spongebob sparkle

7 in the goddamn morning that family is YELLING YELLING. and by that i mean my. but i dont want to really be a part of it. not like they treat me like one anyway. really. except my mom. but when shit like this goes down im basically invisible. maybe its for the better that way. but i dunno. having to see that shit go down. really effects me still. i can enjoy watching nasty fights on reality tv and shit but this stuff isnt enjoyable. cuz like. well i live with these people and shit. whatever. point is. starts making some alters really freak out. i dont even really disagree with the ones who start feeling violent about it. if killing an abuser didnt land u in prison 4 life basically i dont think we'd even be dealing with this shit. probably cruel to say. but really whats cruel is someone who does this shit to people for 20 odd years. can i blame them at all for thinking that when we r like a caged animal who cant fidn a way out i really cant

itsnfine dont worey i wont let things come to that point. but ifnsomehow they do i guess my point that well you all know i tried ans you all know that the fucker had it coming and i will try to figure out how to fit a phone up my hole in prison ans i'll keep blogging as long as none of yall snitch

^ none of yall better act like thats something serious im being a bit funny but honestly i do think this site is pro killing your abuser more than other sites at least on the hypothetical level which helps becuse a lot of you won't disagree with us feeling that way

id love to do it but i wont because i've talked about it and alluded to it more than enough to warrant premeditation charge, and i wouldn't be able to feign innocence to hide it for the rest of my life and id always be paranoid about it so its not worth the mental weight either

i used to worry a lot that he would snap and kill me and mama

i guess it could still happen but i dont feel as scared about it as i used to.

maybe because i feel that im old enough to maybe stop it or at least be really hard to accomplish

this will all mean nothing when i forget about it mostly in a few hours

actually i'll be going to sleep in a few hours

since my schedule is literally the opposite of this family because i need time to myself

hopefully my dreams will be kind to me

i was really upset yesterday because i had a vivid dream where i was being affectionate and romantic with a guy who committed rape on me

woke up super disgusted and went back to sleep until 6 pm about it to get a better dream

does anyone on here care if i call it that if it wasnt violently penetrstive?

to me its a gross criteria plus what are you supposed to call someone who did less that that

whatever

point is i hsted the dream

all my dreams are vivid

many of them are lucid which is lovely

when they arent lucid though sometimes its awful but still its very vivid and all felt as real as life

this isnt really relevant anymore

right now i kind of feel nothing but my tummy hurts a lot

love you guys

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castee-yel · 3 years

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Hi! I have one question for you - do you think Misha would still want to play Cas in spn reboot (I don't think there will be any so this might be irrelevant, I'm just curious). I mean Jensen and Jared mentioned him like once during the entire panel just to make an impression of him and laugh about it and to do that to a friend you've been working with for 12 years is kinda disrespectful in my opinion. Not to mention that they acted like Cas doesn't even exists which is even more fucked up because without him spn would have ended years ago. And it's not like there was no chance to talk about him, they chose not to - Mark talked about him even when the question wasn't about Cas/Misha and what he said was actually very nice.

And Misha looks so tired when he has to talk about spn, he looked 10 years younger in one of his recent gish videos (where he was with his children) compared to that spn panel. So maybe he just wants to forget about spn and move on? Maybe he doesn't even want to talk about it? I wouldn't be surprised, they don't treat him well now that the show is over (hell, they never treated him well) and he deserves better.

You know what I have one more question - would you watch spn reboot without Misha playing Cas or without Cas as a character?

Sorry if this whole ask is inappropriate, I'm sending you this as anon because I don't want to receive hate, so you can ignore it. I just wanted to know your opinion, thanks!

And one last thing - I love your blog, you're amazing! ❤️

hi hello!!

i believe that mish would be interested in it if and only if jensen ackles was behind the production 100%, no kripke or anyones input into his character.

i really doubt jared gives a shit about mishas role in supernatural as by his actions he's just been cordial to not make stuff look bad, he's been downright grim towards misha (from "pranks" that put misha + his kids lives in danger to s*xually harrassing misha to the point writers stopped witing sam/cas scenes because of jarpad)

hence why i think the panel was stripped of misha/cas' name because i doubt jackles wants to talk about misha with someone like jared, who would most likely say something stupid or offensive in front of thousands.

i think misha wants to talk about the fans, the characters, and the people he made great friends with throughout the years, but i think he's sick of talking about the production, the writers, "alternate endings", and what could have been.

if thats the case i dont blame him, jensen and jared at least got a consultation on their characters whilst misha barely was involved despite being there for twelve years.

on the topic of a supernatural reboot without misha/cas, i would probably watch the first episode(s) to see whats going on (+for ackles) and stop watching if it does not revolve around jackles and jackles only.

[also thank you anon, sorry for the late reply, i didnt want to rush my answer <3!]

#dee answers #spn #supernatural #jensen ackles #misha collins

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captainshazamerica · 3 years

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Yeah it's the same anon 💜 dude my apologies for the amount of crap I've spewed in your ask box but in my defense no one I know gives a shit about batfam or gotham rogues or Alfred (I've gushed here about alfreds fabulousness too opps) anndd I partly blame you for me falling back into the titans trap cuz s1 was meh I forgot I even watched s2 😅 then I seen some titans stuff on your blog and boom my brain latched onto it and now here I am experiencing maternal fear for my son jason 😢you are 1000% right this jason is PERFECTION as robin like actual perfection I dunno why but I thought this robin was like 16? So I was thinkin how tf is 16/17 yo supposed to be redhood!? It work in comics/cartoon but live action 16 y/o redhood seems meh I kinda want the lazarus pit just I freakin want TALIA but I don't think that's gonna happen I dunno

Tbh (this may be biased) but I think the Gotham tv show is literally the best dc comics adaptation of anything ever! it is superior to all thier shows movies animations and the arrowverse at least in my books lol

Tumblr is my only form of 'social media' and I don't keep up with updates or anything about shows cuz I like to pretend the fiction is real and I don't want reality wrecking that for me like hahahaa so I had no clue about timmy or babs but I'm so happy

DUDE YES this is literally the only time I can see bruce ever killing the joker on screen aww please I want it so bad I mean they probably won't but they should cuz this is the only capacity in which batman can kill the joker live action like if down the line somewhere on another show/movie bruce killed joker he prob wouldn't be dead dead or they'd bring him back some way so the kill wouldn't even matter but old bruce killing the joker because he's finally had enough he's old now, jasons death finished him and he's not gonna be batman anymore it's a nice end for batman and the joker, it's the only way we'll ever get this end cuz like you said they'll never have the balls to permanently kill joker any other way in live action everything is aligning perfectly for this to happen so dang dc just freakin let it happen c'mon

Yo whose your first fav rogue? Is it riddler? I feel like mines riddler haven't really thought much about whose my fav gotham rogue but I'd probably say riddler, I prefer the central city rogues but the Gotham rogues are just pure chaos and I'm living for that hahaa

I'd rather superheros/vigilantes/villians in live action not have relationship drama just put them in a relationship or dont like I came for the action and weird super shit not the ordinary relationship drama thankfully titans seem to be doing okay in this aspect I do quite like dickkory a lot but I mean in the supergirl show ughhh I was like I came here for the flying and the dope laser eyes I don't give a shit about her getting a boyfriend like seriously whyyy

My brain decides to jump about obsessing over characters like one week Kory is my wife next week detective grayson is my husband and I AM NIGHTWING then my brain is like no Barbara kean is wifey just basically fictionally I'm married to everyone 😅

Yikes this was so long sorry girl

Omg, pls don't apologize! I get so dang excited whenever i get an ask, yours always make my day, you don't even know! Like same about no one i know caring about dc/batfam! And talking to someone about it is so much better than yelling into the wind here on a text post that no one reads xD Don't stop sending your asks whenever you wanna dump your feels/talk about dc/batfam omg.

And Im so proud I got you into this Titans spiral xD My work here is done hahahaha. But yes, I feel like his looking so young for red hood over shadows how great his jason robin performance was! Love seeing him get that recognition! But yeah, the age is def off, like I cant remember how old they said he was in the show, maybe 16? but too young for red hood in live action form. Like its hard cause in reality 16 year olds and 19 year old boys typically don't look too different, for the most part, while comics you can get get away with it more. Huh, yeah, it doesn't seem like Talia is gonna happen, maybe just maybe a cameo or something? Cause we also weren't expecting joker but here we are(tho it almost looks like he wont be a big plot point/even see him much, it almost looks like it is just showing how brutal gotham is? But like its just the trailer and doesnt always give the full picture so who knows!)

Omg YES about Gotham! I 1000% agree! Im also biased cause its what got me into batman, again like exactly a year ago! It got me into the world like no other media of dc had before!(well, Shazam did, i guess tech thats the start of my interest in dc/first time i read the comics, but gotham is what really got me into this spiral). I hate how much hate it gets, like yeah its not perfect and they took creative liberties obviously, but i 100% agree that its the best adoption of DC yet! 100%! Its so nice to see the characters and rogues fleshed out more. I feel like it successfully did what Nolan tried to do in terms of making it dark and realistic, but in a way that was more accurate and true to the comics! I wish it wasn’t canceled so early and thus the last season had to be so rushed :(

thats smart, i typically dont look for spoilers and stuff anymore but I just got so hyper focused that I had to look at least what the stars were putting out on social media, but yeah, i use to get so caught up in all that that it took the fun out of seeing it live.

Oh my gosh, that would seriously be the PERFECT end to batman and joker story in this universe omg. Amen about all that! And like it would hopefully show Jason how much he cares? So maybe Bruce would kill him after red hood emerges? It will be interesting to see hat causes Jason to be so dang pissed in this version.

ahaha yes riddler is my fav! (my header gave it away didn’t it xD) I love most Riddlers but ESPECIALLY gotham riddler, Ed is like one of my fav character of all time. Oooh, I don’t know central city rogues all that well(well, way more than Metropolis rogues, I know so little about superman world), like I know some from the first 3 and a half seasons of the flash (I watched a couple years ago but got busy with school and couldn’t keep up and just never caught up/didnt have motivation to finish(plus i forgot so much id have to rewatch everything again), but I saw they finally just introduced Bart Allen, so I have have to randomly jump back in for a bit cause Bart is one of my favsss), and the ones in the cartoons and stuff

Ha! true, i dont mind it when its for character development or if I happen to be super into the ship(like Nygmakins in Gotham omg, I know they are super unpopular but they are like one of my OTPs omg), I feel like it has to be balanced right/not too much focus on the drama of the relationship over everything else. Like a minor subplot is good but don’t make it the focus of the show. And yeah , supergirl never appealed to me cause of that reason! i like drama and not JUST action (I like psychological drama, as long as there is comfort to follow xD) but yea i get what u mean by too much relationship focus . I think, for the most part, Gotham did that pretty well.

omg i love the disaster bi vibes you are giving off xD But omg I feel the jumping around thing so much ahaha. Like right now the 4 robins are constantly on rotation on who I’m obsessing over at the moment tbh xD

Omg mine responses are just as long, don’t apologize!!!! <333333333333333

#long post #anon #meredith gets an ask #ask #meredith thoughts #rambling #batman #batfam #gotham #titans #fan theories #speculation #titans speculation #predictions

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truths-of-an-earth-canary · 3 years

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BLAME.

I have been thinking a lot about this lately.

It is a rejection. Of responsibility, of self, of others, of love, of growth.

Sometimes it's intentional, a defense mechanism for those never taught how to take that responsibility for themselves, sometimes it's unintentionally used for the same reasons.

And it is so often taught to our children, by seeing it in their parents, by having it used against them.

My mother is a blamer. I have always been highly sensitive, and empathetic, so she worked out very early on guilt was a great way to control me. So if i did anything she didnt want me to, for whatever reason, instead of teaching me a better way, she just made me terrible and awful about whatever i had done so i wouldn't do it again.

Anything around me that went wrong, mum made me feel it was my fault. If she changed her mind about something, it became my fault. I was in the wrong and made to feel like shit.

What all the blame and emotional manipulation did to me growing up, has made my life so hard.

I became conditioned to take the blame for everything. To not only take it, but to feel it was my fault, feel shame and dread for this thing i did not even do.

And it goes further. Because this was so constantly reinforced to me growing up (my mother has never behaved any other way) i never had a chance to learn to stand up for myself, to be able to say NO. To be able to have boundaries.

To even have peace of mind in my decisions i make for me, because i was trained from my earliest memories to not talk back, to just accept whatever adults said to me, that if an adult said something was my fault it was, and i was in so much trouble. That i shouldn't upset people. That they don't care about me, no one cares if im having a bad day, no one wants to help me, so just keep a smile on my face and say im fine.

When you learn as a child that everything you do is wrong, nothing is ever good enough no matter how much you try, that if you say something and someone doesn't like it, that you will be made to feel so worthless when mum gets you alone, when you're told that no one cares or wants to help you, you learn many lessons very quickly to try and protect yourself.

First you learn the lessons you are taught above, because to fight is to be flayed with words and tone of voice until you feel ashamed to exist.

Then you learn other things. How to not show how much emotional pain you are in, how to make a blank mask of your face. You withdraw from people and social interactions because they cause so much stress. Always worrying about what if you say the wrong thing? What if you use the wrong tone? What if someone gets upset because of something you say? It will be your fault, you will have ruined it, as you always do.

You learn not to do anything, because you will do it wrong and get in trouble.

You become a peace keeper. Avoid confrontation at all costs.

A justifier. Because everything you do is wrong, you have to explain what you did/what you were thinking. You feel you always have to justify your thought/action.

You learn to ask people how they want everything done because you are so terrified of the consequences of getting it wrong and them not being happy.

You learn to hate yourself, because you can't do anything right, and you want to stand up for yourself (and people even tell you to, why on earth don't you for fucks sake? You're such a pushover) that you hate yourself for being unable to stand up for yourself, for being unable to stop the voice in your head telling you everything is your fault, never realising it was never your fault, and you were never taught to stand up for yourself.

Breaking out of this mental conditioning is the hardest thing i have ever done in my life, and the most terrifying.

It's so strong i get really bad anxiety any time i try stand up for myself. Even just thinking about it, i get stressed, my heartrate goes through the roof, i start shaking, and frequently end up crying. If i do try and speak what i want to say i often can't physically get the words out, that conditioned block is so strong.

Something as small as saying 'no I don't want to lend you my (insert whatever they want to borrow here)

But i am determined to learn to do it. My mother failed to teach me, so I'm going to have to learn this on my own.

And this is where this blog is really helping, because i use it as a focus. When my brain starts stressing out about something i try think about this, and how can i use this experience, and write about it, to try and communicate what is going on in my head, and also in the hope maybe one day it will help someone else find the words they are struggling to find to explain/deal with something.

As it's very difficult to think about or explain something if you don't know how to put it into words in a way that makes sense, because so much of what causes the crippling anxiety is the emotional side of it. It's not just words in your head, those words are attached to feelings of shame and grief and loneliness, unworthiness, hate for yourself, revulsion ect. How do you explain the emotional hurricane rampaging uncontrollably in your head? When each word and thought can trigger a new one, and they are all storming at once?

It's simple really. You can't.

All i can try do is paint pictures with words to maybe let people catch a glimpse of what it can be be like.

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