#would you guys still love me if i was 2 dozen middle aged business men?

[gloster]

FAVORITE FANFICS OF 2020

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

I know I speak for all when I say....I cannot wait to toss 2020 out the door the way Uncle Phil constantly did with Jazz. One of the things that got me through this rough year, besides family & friends & BTS, were fanfics.

It’s that time of year again where I make a list of all the fanfics that I absolutely adored. Some are by veteran favs of mine, others are new to me who just knocked it out of the park. If you’re interested in past lists, here is 2019′s list and 2018′s. If y’all are interested in doing your own fanfic favs of the year, please do so and tag me. Always on the hunt for new favs. 

So without furhter ado, my fav fanfics of 2020:

1). Another Word for Forever series by stardropdream (sheith)

Summary: Shiro knows better than to expect love in an arranged marriage. This is all for the sake of universal peace, after all, and solidifying a Terran-Galran alliance. At the very least, Shiro can hope to make a friend out of this. Becoming friends would be much easier, though, if he and his husband could actually communicate. 

With a language barrier and a mountain of cultural differences between them, getting to know Keith proves to be a challenge. Luckily, Shiro's always worked well with challenges.

2020 shockingly became the year of sheith. I ended up rewatching the show w/my bestie @littlenightdragon​. Diving more deeply into it w/my other bestie @kila09​. She and I spent the better half of this year devouring so many fanfics of them in various AUs. I came across new fanfic authors, and stardropdream is among them. 

If I could describe this series & stardropdream, I’ll take a cue from Lady Gaga: “ talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it”

This series was just PERFECTION. I’ve gotten into arranged-marriage AUs and this has been one of the best I’ve read. It was just perfection. The language barrier definitely added an extra charm to it, in which Shiro finds his own ways to get to know his husband better: both creative and funny ways. So many cute moments, so many funny moments with Hunk being the translating middle man between them, and the smut. THE SMUT. THE SMUT. THE SMUT. Just *chef’s kiss* Incredible. It was just so so sweet, and such a comfort read. I reread this series 5 times already and hope Robin (the writer) does more stories in this AU.

Please read this series. You’re not gonna regret it. It will MELT your heart. 

Honorable Mentions:

If I Called You Mine

Sail Across the Sky Just to Get to You

Finding Shelter (The Alien Baby Remix)

Say You Do(n’t)

2). The Golden Hour by @goldentruth813​ (sheith)

Summary:  After a space mission failure, Shiro loses his arm and his career. Two years later he's settled into a quiet and simple new life on his farm, but when a beautiful alien crashes in his field, he discovers the answers to his questions—and possibly the keys to his future—will come from the stars.

I’m sure no one, least of all Janel the writer herself, is surprised to see this author featured on this list. For now the 3rd year in a row. WOOOW  👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿 She is the reason I got into shieth, and she just continues to put out amazing conent with them. This story by far has been the best she’s done this year-possibly one of the best ever. 

We have Shiro trying to have a simple life at the farm with his dog and animals. A curious BOM Keith who shakes things up with his boldness/innocence-and questions bound to test blood pressure, especially Shiro’s. Loads of cute moments, loads of funny moments, and also loads of oreos. 

If summary and my thoughts don’t sell you, only one thing will: reading it for yourself.

Honorable mentions:

Two Hearts in Bloom

Mountain Men

Home is in Your Heart

3). Spun like Gold by Neyasochi (sheith)

Summary: Though Shiro is currently operating his fledgling bakery business out of a decrepit food truck he got for cheap in a repossession sale, he dreams of something more: a cozy bakery and cafe on a tree-lined street somewhere, filled with the smell of fresh coffee and sugar glaze instead of diesel. A little money could go a long way to helping him get off the ground-- and luckily, Keith has money to burn.

Or: Keith takes care of Shiro’s financial woes, in exchange for a little sugar.

OMG, OMG, OMG was this story so sweet. Neyasochi already sold me with the baking/baker Shiro trope, but went a step further throwing in sugar-daddy Keith who knows his way around his manic family and cars, but when it comes to asking a cute guy out? What better way to make an impression than becoming his best paying customer?  

Honorable mentions:

oh, devour me

Healing Touch

on your hand of gold 

4). The Destiny You Sold by @tryslora​ (drarry)

Summary: In which Draco knits, Harry makes wands, and things get very tangled up between them.

If there’s one thing I love about fanfics is how they introduce you to tropes you never would consider before. Draco and knitting was a combo I didn’t realize how much I needed until now. And I love the fact knitting played a big part of the accidental bonding. Also loved the fact everyone in their friend group shipped them like crazy. Highly, highly recommend 

5) What’s My Age Again? by @lazywonderlvnd​ (drarry)

Summary: Harry Potter has had enough of pleasing the public, and his reckless tendencies are finally getting out of hand.

The Quidditch World Cup is only a week away; as Captain of the English National Team, Hermione has assured him that his immaturity won’t be tolerated by the Ministry.

And then Malfoy shows up.

(Inspired by the blink-182 song of the same name.)

It’s no secret that I’m such a fangirl of @lazywonderlvnd​. Any drarry story I read, I always love. Last year, I ADORED The Changing Lights, which was one of my favorites last year, and her updating/finishing the story was a massive highlight for me. I thank ya for that. 

This story was honestly refreshing. I’ve grown so used to Harry being responsible, always doing what’s right, that seeing a story where Harry pretty much has his middle finger in the air to “good reputation”, “being responsible,” because as he brought up: “I’m 25. I’ve been fighting all my life. I’ve earned my life to have fun.”

Okay, granted, it wasn’t quite like that but it was along those lines. And I agree. After all he went through, Harry deserves to have fun. He deserves to be reckless and make stupid decisions.

Also, it was such a blast reading a story where Harry is the brat & Draco has to keep him in line. LOVED.

Honorable mentions: 

Inside Your Mind

Aletheia

6). Chocolate and Pastry by agentmoppet, anemonen (drarry)

Summary:  When Pansy bets Draco that there is no chance he and Harry could carry out a genuine romantic relationship, he and Harry form a plan. But as their fake relationship progresses, Draco sees a side of Harry he never expected. Harry is struggling with something, pushing it far down inside him where he doesn't have to acknowledge its existence. Draco starts to worry, and then he starts to care, and then... horribly... he starts to fall in love.

Do not let the title fool you like it did me. Title alone, I was thinking it was going to be a fun, fluffy story involving baking, maybe chocolate crafting. However....it was not that at all. It was more. A lot deeper. A lot more angsty. It explored mental health, PTSD and the dangers of loved ones ignoring the signs, and contained an important message:

You can’t love someone out of their illness/disease/ addiction. Which is true and this story showed that. 

7). i’m still here by owedbetter (zutara)

Summary: "You see me."

And somehow, that makes all the difference.

If there’s one of the few good things 2020 has brought, it was Netflix bringing back ATLA to their library. Which in turn ignited my love for zutara & had me drag @kila09​ into that ship. 

This story was just incredible. The way it was written, it really felt like it could have been canon. Deleted scenes that a certain creator didn’t want us to see. The way Zuko and Katara came together, starting from their peaceful friendship after the Southern Raiders episode up, becoming closer along the way. 

I dare y’all to read this and not think OMG...is this secret canon bonus material? I definitely plan to read more by owedbetter. 

8). all the what ifs i never said by rosegardenlake (sheith)

Summary:  Keith is nine when he first notices Shiro. Shiro is gentle and quiet, always keeping to himself. Keith is rough and loud, running wherever his feet will take him, screaming on the top of his lungs into the wind. But despite that, they're a constant throughout each other's lives...if only that could be enough. As they grow, Keith just wants them both to be happy, but instead, he's falling apart.

Rosegardenlake is another sheith writer who I adored last year & adore this year as well. This was a story that I read during the beginning of quarantine-life and when I tell you the number of times Keith’s emotions of loneliness got to me, it’s a big number. 

Keith’s struggle with life after high school, after peaking in school, and his mental health reminded me too much of where I was at 2018, which wasn’t a good year for me at all, especially mentally. So that was triggering but it was also helpful since I saw how far I came. And it was beautiful seeing how far Keith came. 

Also the relationship between Shiro and Keith was just beautiful. It’s very funny how Keith was Shiro’s protector growing up and Shiro became Keith’s later on in life. There’s a chance your heart may be heavy, but will also be so swelled up with feelings these two bring it. 

Honorable mentions:

Where the Light Doesn’t Reach 

9). When Night Comes by Oh_Hey_Tae (BTS; poly ot7)

Summary: Jungkook’s tipsy, but he’s not buzzed enough to miss that he doesn’t recognize any of the four dozen people here. And seeing as his friends aren’t ones to ditch and there’s no way they’d play a prank this mean on him, Jungkook reaches the conclusion that he just walked into a stranger’s very expensive home, uninvited, and started eating their food and petting their well-dressed dog.

(Or: Jungkook shows up to the wrong Halloween party and meets the most powerful family in Seoul.)

I can easily say Oh_Hey_Tae easily one of my favorite BTS fanfic favs. Always come through with the stories, and this one was just amazing. We have Jungkook stumbling into a Halloween story, and soon enters into a intense, insane relationship with all six guys, who are already in a relationship with each other. Oh, and supernatural creatures at that. 

You do see certain relationships are stronger, deeper. For example, a lot of moments between Jin and Jungkook. Vmin has their own story and moments. But it was just so amazing. 

Fair warning. Halfway through, things get darker and Oh_My_Tae really loves playing readers diirty with the angst, but it’s so good. 

10). peace-weaver by magisterpavus (sheith)

Summary: You will be the peace-weaver, his mother told him, smiling though her dark eyes welled with unshed grief. The one who brings two bitter enemies together and ends the bloodshed and death between us, once and for all.

But men will always crave war. The Galra, most of all.

Yet another arranged-marriage AU that I loved. This particular one is well-loved in the sheith fandom. I can definitely say it’s considered one of the classic fanfics that’s been read or shared at one point or another. 

The story itself reminded me a lot of Macbeth, involving murder and dark forces at bay. The dynamics between Shiro and Keith reminded me of Drogo and Daenerys from GOT, one of my fav couples there, which only made it all the more better for me. 

I do credit the author for the creative approach they took with quintessence and Shiro’s role/persona as the Champion

Honorable mentions:

The Boy in the Window 

Sheith Demon/Priest AU

A Matter of Scale

Directive 

Honorable mentions that I seriously wanted to add to the list but this post is already lengthy. All amazing, all greats reads by various writers y’all should check out:

Hold Me Tight, or Don’t by snowfallen (yoonmin with a Mr. & Mrs. Smith AU featuring assassins and hitmen, secret identities, fake marriage, and a lot of smut)

The Prince and Pirate by Maniacani, @nerdherderette​ (drarry with a splash of royalty and pirates. Perfect if you’re needing to fill in any Pirates of the Caribbean or Black Sails cravings)

First Kisses are the Best Ones by SashaDistan (sheith in a 50 First Dates Fusion heartfelt/heart-gutting story)

freely, as men strive for right by @bixgirl1​ (drarry w/Harry explaining the many ways why Draco’s the love of his life. we love to see it)

The Sacrificed by SasuNarufan13 (sasunaru w/ dark fairytale elements similar to Little Red Riding Hood & Beauty and the beast + feat. mpreg)

Chasing Treacle Tart (and Draco Malfoy) by xErised (drarry feat. lunch lady Draco + scheming Harry + loads of fun w/sweets & more)

Red Desert by @beatitudinembty​ (taekook in a unique sci-fi AU; hard to explain but so worth a read

one way ticket to another life by starboykeith (sheith Hades x Persephone background)

Even So by lewilder (zutara; arranged marriage+ language barrier +soft strangers to lovers)

Well, lovely people, there you have it. My top 10 favorite fanfics of the year. I do notice a certain ship shows up a lot on this list, but I wasn’t kidding when I said they took over this year. Still, I tried to mix the list up with other fav ships/fandoms of mine. To the writers who created these incredible stories. I applaud you. I thank you for creating and sharing these wonderful stories. Anyone interested in doing the tag, please do. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR, GUYS

#favorite fanfics of the year #favorite fanfics #fanfic recs #fic recs #drarry #drarry fanfic recs #drarry fic recs #drarry recs #sheith #sheith fanfic recs #sheith fic recs #sheith recs #zutara #zutara fanfic recs #zutara fic recs #zutara recs #bts #bts fanfic recs #bts fic recs #taekook #yoonmin #ot7 #sasunaru #sasunaru fanfic rec

[watchtheblog]

no new friends

when i lived in new york, i was dating someone for 3 months and i literally didn’t know if i could refer to him as someone i knew. we’d be returning a vehicle we rented for a weekend trip and i’d still be like “him? oh. we’ve hung out two dozen times but i don’t really know him know him.”

in la, you wait on line at a grocery store with someone for two to seven minutes and they’re name checking you in therapy three hours later.

i have never had to question the descriptor “my friend” more times than i have since i moved here. 

i know now that “friend” is a spectrum that includes “person you’d invite to your wedding” and “person you exchanged “wow that party sucked” banter with in an elevator once because you happened to leave a party at the same time.”

a really corny thing people with no personalities like to promulgate - and always as if they’re the first person to have ever thought of it - is the idea that you can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat servers at a restaurant. 

while i do think that is true - because like, ok sure - on the flip, i treat servers like deities, but i also once described a 12 year old as a “no job having ass bitch”, so…

(^ a photo of me immediately post yelling at a stranger)

yes. that is important. but, in my opinion, seeing how a person speaks about and interacts with someone they’ve met (who is of any tenable social standing) 1-5 times in the city of los angeles is a far better indicator of whether this person is objectively “good”, or if they are someone who pronounces ibiza in the way you know i’m talking about (you know. like they’re a character in don quixote. you fucking know the way), who will likely try to entangle you in a ponzi scheme in the near future.

these are your friends in NY:

the person you’ve known since you were born, who bailed you out of jail that time you got popped for jumping over a turnstile (this is called “fare evasion”, fyi) in high school

that exact person. no one else.

in new york, a guy who was v close friends with my ex boyfriend pinned me against the door of my ex boyfriend’s dressing room and tried to fuck me... two weeks after we’d broken up… while my ex boyfriend was in the en suite bathroom.

that’s what friendship is in new york! it means nothing! 

these are your “friends” in LA:

every dog

the ex of the person you’re currently dating

the kids and other patients of any of your doctors

someone you let go in front of you on line at any establishment that serves matcha or anything CBD infused

someone you have the same in n out order as

anyone you’ve ever seen before 9am in a context other than working out

someone you DMed 10 times, who responded once with the heart that’s already there for you to click

a person you’ve fucked once or dozens or times over the course of 6 months, whom you refuse to call your significant other because you’re scum

and lastly,

a person who wanted to be your friend, whose trust you broke by trying to fuck them in a v creepy and unwelcome way

let me elaborate on the last:

last year, i was actively soliciting friendship on r*ya (a dating app) by setting up a profile and indicating i was “only here for friends”*.

*(this is a setting for 1. men who want to discreetly cheat on their girlfriends and 2. girls who want to trick men into being friends with them by pretending there’s a possibility they might fuck because they matched on a dating site.)

i matched with a “famous” “musician” (i put both words in quotations because i don’t quite consider a sleepy, middle aged white man whose music’s main accreditation is being the melody playing over a man slipping from coma to death on grey’s anatomy “famous”, but ok…) and we talked for a few weeks (mainly about how i had no friends and was desirous of a handful of them).

eventually we met up. he took me to a restaurant, i ate some food, i had one drink, we had a v boring conversation, and 50 minutes later i went home and remembered that i don’t need friends.

we didn’t talk again until three weeks later on a monday afternoon. he invited me over to his place to watch the new “curb” and eat chinese food. i said yes because i wanted free chinese food (and because i still have not learned that accepting an invitation to a man’s house apparently indicates that you’d like to suck his dick).

i arrived in sweatpants at 4pm. we ate chinese food, played backgammon, and he mansplained the “me too” movement to me for approximately 20 minutes. that is not a joke.

he also told me that louis ck would be the next man to be outed (weird flex but ok), and shared a story about him “lining girls up and masturbating on their shins”! also not a joke.

impossibly boring story short… at some point i thought, “i do not even want to be friends with this white devil. it’s time for me to leave”. so i got up, ordered an uber, and walked to the front door.

as i was putting my jacket on, he walked over to me in a way that i cannot even compare to anything to emphasize how crazy it was because it was so specifically over the top in it’s own way. this man sauntered over to me with both his arms outstretched, grabbed either side of my face and tilted his head to kiss me.

after touting his beliefs on the importance of women not being seen as sexual beings for three hours while i sat in his sterile home in sweatpants, eating lo mein, this soft, balding man tried to #metoo lite me.

that’s what friendship means to a man in los angeles. 

there’s no doubt in my mind this corny bozo refers to me as a “friend”... but my only friends are on the internet + the guy who pumps my gas on coldwater.

that being said. if you made it all the way here (wow. you must want to fuck me. hello!!) we are now friends and you are therefore obligated to buy me a christmas gift from the below list of carefully curated, v expensive christmas gifts i’ve assembled:

1. what i really want is a vintage sean john velour sweatsuit that i can have altered and wear every single day of my life until i die from texting and driving, but i don’t know if that’s reasonable… so maybe this tracksuit which is for children but i am sure will fit me. or this set. or this one, which matches my sneakers:

2. i want to go to a lakers game, please. front row. i don’t want this unless it’s front row. please respect this.

3. a trip here  (+ 1 for my sister)

4. this hand soap, because i love to keep my hands clean, and i also love people to know i’m rich when they use my bathroom, which they’ll know when they exit my bathroom, and i charge them for the squirts of hand soap they’ve just used

5. a personalized tray. i do all my business, sleeping, and eating in bed, so this would be helpful, so i can organize all my things.  or a clutch. same people

6. these sneakers. or these. or these. or these. size 7

7. one of these two books. or another book. i love to read, and i can afford to buy them, i just thought it nice to include here... so you remember i’m a thoughtful and educated thot.

8. this dress. or this one. or this dress which i don’t think will look good on me

9. this candle

10. this fanny pack, but only because i want to recreate that man’s exact look, so probably not the best idea to purchase this. 

11. these shoes. or these. 7.5

12. this chair. or these

13. a series of 1 on 1 training sessions at lagree. if you’ve ever watched me simulate sex work out, you will come through with this gift before christmas  

14. this bag which is overflow from my birthday gift list. or this one

thank you so much. here is another picture of me and one of my closest friends in la - a dog i spent 90 harrowing minutes with. i hate dogs.

#no new friends #a fond farewell to a friend #lists of things i want #lists of things #things i want #my birthday #waste! #invidious consumption

[sunshineoptimismandangels]

Blind Dates and Other Misunderstandings (A Klaine Fic)

Chapter: 2 of 4

Status: WIP with daily updates For: The lovely @miasswier Beta: My dear friend @theatrevicki Summary: This is for miasswier who prompted: Kurt and Blaine’s parents were all friends in college and ever since Kurt and Blaine came out they’ve been trying to push them to get together because they just really want to be in-laws.  

FF.net | AO3 Part 1

October

Kurt rushed into the building, breathing quickly and glancing around until he saw the sign for the elevators and the one pointing to the stairs. He made a snap decision and sprinted towards the stairs. He only needed to get to the third floor, running it would be faster than waiting for an elevator. And he knew if he was late, he might as well not show up at all. 

He started unbuttoning his coat on the way up and had it halfway off when he banged through the door to the third floor. The first thing he saw were glass doors etched with the words Rhodes Casting. Kurt smiled and checked his phone. He wasn’t late. He wasn’t early either, which he always tried to be for auditions, but after the subway delay, and not being able to catch a cab, and spilling coffee all over his shirt (thank god he had a spare in his messenger bag to change into) he felt lucky to be there at all. He straightened his shoulders, tried to steady his breathing and walked confidently into the office. “Hello, I’m here to audition for-” Kurt began, smiling at the receptionist, but she just glanced up at him, pushed her glasses up her nose and then pointed with a pen to the right. Kurt glanced that direction and his shoulders dropped – there were already over a dozen young men about his age waiting. “I have an appointment?” He tried. The receptionist didn’t even glance up this time. “So do you all. Write your name on the clipboard – we’ll get to you.” Kurt nodded and wrote his information down on the clipboard before briefly scanning the group, not giving any one person much attention, though he did recognize a few faces. For as big as New York was, Kurt was always surprised at how often he went to casting calls with the same handful of actors. Kurt folded his coat over an arm and spotted an open seat. He started uncurling his scarf from around his neck on the way. He slid his scarf off right as he got to his seat, and somehow, with an accidental flick of his wrist, the end of his scarf whipped directly into the face of the person he was about to sit next to. It actually made a slapping sound. “Ohmygosh! I’m so-” Kurt started to apologize before he realized it was even worse than he’d realized. When he’d spilled his coffee earlier, he apparently soaked the end of his scarf without even noticing, and now he’d just smacked some poor unsuspecting victim in the face with a wet, coffee-stained scarf. “No! Oh no.”  Without even thinking about it, he grabbed the dry part of his scarf and started dabbing at the stranger’s face to dry it. “I can’t believe I did that. I’ve been such a klutz all day-” A sound was coming from beneath the soft folds of his wool scarf – was that coughing? Choking? Was the man… laughing? Kurt quickly moved his hands and scarf away from the man’s face, realizing that he was making things worse. Who would want a stranger to wipe coffee of their face? All eyes in the waiting room were on him and Kurt felt like turning on his heel and just marching right out. This was just not his morning. “Really, I’m sorry,” Kurt hurried to explain, “I don’t know what-” Kurt’s mouth and throat went dry, his words ripped away from his lips, as his eyes landed on the face of the man he’d just accosted. Fuck. Honey golden eyes looked back up at him in surprise and the man’s brows lifted in recognition. There was beat where they just looked at each other until the man’s face broke out in a radiant smile. A smile Kurt immediately recognized. “Kurt Hummel?” The man said, just barely holding back his laughter. “Blaine.” Kurt’s voice was small and too high-pitched. He no longer wanted just to leave the room; he wanted the earth to open up and swallow him whole. Out of all the ways to run into Blaine Anderson again, hitting him in the face with a disgusting and wet scarf in the middle of a crowed waiting room seemed particularly mortifying. “What is this?” Blaine deadpanned, glancing at the scarf in Kurt’s hands “Psychological warfare on your competition?” Kurt sucked in a deep breath and then Blaine’s words sunk in, “No!” Kurt shook his head bunching the scarf up and taking a small step beck, “No, I would never. I didn’t mean to, and I didn’t know it was you.” “Kurt, calm down, I was kidding.” Blaine was smiling again, and Kurt wondered if he was always this cheerful – and devilishly good-looking. “I just…” Kurt glanced around the room to see everyone quickly look away as if they hadn’t been watching. Kurt could feel his face heating up. “I’m sorry,” Kurt said, and quickly turned away before Blaine could chew him out, or worse, be nice about this. He hurried to the only other empty chair in the room, which was luckily as far away from Blaine as he could get in a small waiting area. Kurt pulled out the script they were all auditioning with, and though he had it down by heart, he started to read over it as if engrossed; doing everything he could not too make eye contact with the gorgeous man across the room. Even if all he wanted to do was look up and check to see if Blaine was watching him. Slowly but surely, they started calling names back to audition. Some actors were back there for half an hour, while some were there no more than 10 minutes before they were sent away. Kurt’s stomach tightened, he’d been that guy before, the one they took one look at or heard his higher than normal voice and gave a polite, “Thanks, but no thanks” too. That was just the way of this business. As the room started to empty, Kurt couldn’t help but steal glances at Blaine Anderson, who alternated between looking at the script, looking at his phone, or just sitting still with only his leg jogging. Kurt tried to be sly about it, but he couldn’t help but study Blaine’s nervous expression; he was just as handsome with a furrowed brow and chewing on his lip as he was with that dumb, dazzling smile he had. Kurt found himself thinking back about that day at the Lima Bean, even though Blaine had been late – Kurt was unmistakably rude, he’d know that as soon as he left, but didn’t have a way to change things. Now Kurt had a second chance to talk to the guy he’d heard of all his life, or at least an opportunity to apologized for his previous behavior. Kurt took a deep breath and placed his script back in his messenger bag before walking back over to Blaine. “Um… Can I sit here?” Blaine looked up in surprise but immediately nodded. Kurt sat quietly for a moment; he wasn’t sure why he was so nervous around Blaine. “If you don’t like to talk before an audition or you’re already in character, just say.” Blaine put down the script he was glancing over, “No, it’s fine.” “I wanted to apologize.” “Kurt, I know you didn’t mean to hit anyone with your scarf.” “Not for that… Um… I mean yes. I am sorry about that. But… this summer when we met?” Blaine lifted a brow and nodded. “I was rude to you. I shouldn’t have just left, and I didn’t give you a chance to explain why you were nearly an hour late, and I almost immediately regretted my boorish behavior.” “I…” Blaine opened his mouth to speak and then shut it again, shaking his head and looking perplexed, “An hour? Kurt, I was 10 minutes late, max.” “No…” Kurt answered slowly; he remembered that day clearly, “I’d been there since 9:45am which is when my dad said we were going to meet.” Blaine’s eyes widened and then he took a long breath, rubbing his forehead before he started to laugh. “What?” Kurt’s own lips were nearly quirking up in a smile; Blaine’s laugh was so infectious. “My mom told me 10:30am. So yes, I was definitely late but not… an hour? You waited almost an hour for some person you didn’t even know? And then I just breezed in – no wonder you were so mad!” Kurt let that information wash over him. He didn’t know how their respective parents had gotten things so mixed up, but it did put the whole situation in a new light. “I thought you were standing me up and then I thought, yeah you came, but you were an hour late and obviously didn’t want to be there!” “I wanted to be there, Kurt,” Blaine said, his face growing more serious, and damn his eyes were intense, his earnest expression made Kurt shiver, “I promise I wanted to be there. I don’t like blind dates in general… but I’ve wanted to meet you for years. I can’t believe I blew it so badly.” “You didn’t.” Kurt shook his head and let a true smile form on his lips. “I mean, we could start over?” Blaine nodded eagerly and started to respond- “Blaine Anderson?” They both looked up at the sound of Blaine’s name. A middle-aged woman with dyed red hair and a tired expression stood by the door that everyone had been disappearing behind all afternoon. “I guess I’m up,” Blaine said, standing reluctantly. “I know you’re my competition, but break a leg, Blaine,” Kurt said, and was rewarded with a flash of a Blaine’s stunning smile as Blaine gathered his things and followed the woman back. Blaine was gone about 20 minutes before he came out again. Kurt was ready to try to strike up a conversation, but he was called in next. Blaine shot him a thumbs up as they passed each other, and Kurt was too nervous to say anything. He really wanted the audition to go well. He also really wanted to talk to Blaine more, but it seemed like he was missing out on that chance – again. Kurt’s audition went fairly well; at least they let him get through the provided script and asked him a few questions. He never really knew where he stood with casting directors; they had some of the industry’s best poker faces. He hitched his bag on his shoulder and thanked them again for the opportunity as he exited the office and walked back to the waiting area. There were only two people left in the room and Blaine wasn’t one of them. Kurt let out a disappointed sigh. It seemed like getting to know Blane was not meant to be. “Kurt!” Kurt turned towards the sound of his name and saw Blaine stand from where he had been sitting – out of the way near the elevators. Kurt felt his heart beat a little faster. “What are you still doing here?” Kurt asked as he hurried over. Blaine shrugged, “I wanted to see how things went for you and I…” His cheeks grew a little rosy, “I wanted a chance to talk to you more.” “Oh?” Kurt couldn’t help but bounce on his toes a little. “I’d like that. We could compare audition notes. Besides, I owe you a cup of coffee?” Blaine laughed, “Do you?” “If you aren’t busy now-” “Yeah! Yes, I’d like that.” Blaine’s eyes were sparkling. “I noticed a coffee shop on my way in, want to try it?” Kurt felt a little giddy. For months, Blaine had been popping up in his mind, with his gorgeous smile, and beautiful eyes and over-the-top, but still somehow charming classic clothing – and here Kurt was getting a second chance to make a first impression. No way was he turning that down.  “That sounds great.” “My parents will be thrilled,” Blaine joked, as he pressed the elevator button. Kurt’s excitement suddenly took a blow. Oh yeah, their parents. Now he was nervous again. He wanted to spend time with Blaine because he was cute and interesting and sweet, but without all the pressure of him being Blaine Anderson. “Um yeah…” Kurt began, “Mine too, but maybe… I mean we should just be friends, right? This could just be a friendly cup of coffee. Not a date? Nothing to get our parents all worked up about.” Blaine nodded, not seeming phased, “I’d really like that.” The elevator binged open and they walked in sharing shy glances. “My dad said that New York was a big place and I’d never have to see you again, and here we are running into each other at an audition.” Blaine bit his lip and smiled before speaking, “I’m really glad we did.” “Me too.” Kurt agreed, squeezing the strap of his messenger bag in excitement, “Really glad.” ________________________________________________________ “Mercedes, call me back, we have to talk! I met Blaine Anderson again and just had the most wonderful time.” Kurt sighed happily, “Call me!” ________________________________________________________ “So wait, in a city of eight million people, you ran into Kurt Hummel? “Yes.” “And was he as rude as ever?” “No! No, Cooper, that was all just a misunderstanding.” “Uh huh, and was he as hot as ever?” Blaine felt his cheeks warm up, “Um, yes… but more than that he’s just... god Cooper, I really like him. I mean, we’re just going to be friends, which is fine, but I’m so glad I ran into him.” Cooper laughed from the other end of the call, “Just friends huh? Let me know how that works out.” Blaine rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help but think of Kurt’s sweet smile, beautiful blue eyes and charismatic personality. He would have been fine with their coffee date being a real date, but it was okay that it wasn’t. Really. “It will be fine,” Blaine insisted even as his stomach flipped over and the thought of Kurt’s lovely voice, “No worries there.”

#klaine drabble #sunshine's fic #klaine prompt

[intellectuallyawkward-blog]

Origin of super mario names

Nintendo figures make the VR of theirs (arcade) debut with innovative Vive driven Mario Kart

Bandai Namco showed a virtual reality model of Mario Kart, Mario Kart Arcade GP VR, that is going to make its debut in a VR arcade the business is opening using Tokyo, Japan upcoming month.

The game appears to mark the VR debut of one of Nintendo's flagship franchises, although it is crucial to be aware it is licensed by Nintendo as well as created by Namco - just like its non-VR predecessor, Mario Kart Arcade GP.Not many details are currently available in English regarding the game, even thought it's mentioned about the arcade's site as running on HTC Vive headsets and specially-designed racing seats.

Nintendo has thus far been publicly reticent about the promise of VR - last calendar year frontman Shigeru Miyamoto told investors that for VR wearing specific, we're ongoing the research of ours, in addition to exploring improvement with a mind to how our existing key products are meant to be played for a somewhat long period of time of time.

We are considering the choices of delivering an adventure which gives value when played for a little while, he continued. And how to eliminate the fears of long-duration use.

When I discovered that out I did two things. To begin with, I whipped out the copy of mine (yes, I maintain it which real/nerdy that I still need a well used NES hooked up in the room) of mine and then made positive I will be able to match the game at will. (I can. Childhood not wasted.)

Secondly, I launched down a rabbit hole of reading through Mario websites and Articles and Wikis. In the operation, I stumbled upon the etymologies of the brands of several of the key players in the Mario universe. Consequently, in honor of the video game which often changed the planet, in this article they are, given in useful 11-item describe form.

Mario.

When Mario debuted in the arcade game "Donkey Kong", he was just referred to as Jumpman. (Which also is the generic label associated with that Michael Jordan spread leg Nike logo. Two of the most legendary icons actually equally have generic versions of themselves known as Jumpman. But only one of them has today gotten to a point of remaining extremely impressive that he shaved himself a Hitler mustache before filming a professional and the balls were had by no one to correct him.)

In 1980, as the Nintendo of America team imported Jumpman to raise him right into a franchise-leading star (Hayden Christensen style), somebody discovered that he looked just like their Seattle office building's landlord... a guy called Mario Segale.

Mario Segale did not get a dime for becoming the namesake of pretty much the most prominent video game persona ever, but he most likely isn't very concerned; in 1998 he sold the asphalt small business of his for over $60 million. (Or 600,000 extra lives.)

Luigi.

Luigi actually has one of probably the weakest name origins of most of the mario brothers characters in the Mario universe (once again displaying exactly why, in life that is real, he'd have a larger inferiority complex than Frank Stallone, Abel or that 3rd Manning brother).

"Luigi" is simply the result of a group of Japanese men trying to consider an Italian name to accentuate "Mario." Why was the Italian label they went with? When they each moved from Japan to Seattle, the pizza area nearby to the Nintendo headquarters called Mario & Luigi's. (It has since gone from business.)

Koopa.

Koopa is a transliterated variation of the Japanese rap for the opponent turtles, "Kuppa." Stick with me here -- kuppa is the Japanese phrase for a Korean dish known as gukbap. Basically it is a cup of soup with cereal. From what I surely explain to it's totally not related to turtles, especially malicious ones.

In an interview, Mario's creator, Shigeru Miyamoto, explained he was deciding between three different brands for the high-speed of evil turtles, all of which happened to be named after Korean foods. (The other 2 were yukhoe and bibimbap.) Which means among 2 things: (1) Miyamoto loves Korean food and was looking to offer a tribute or even (two) Miyamoto believes Koreans are evil and really should be jumped on.

Wario.

I sort of missed the debut of Wario -- he debuted in 1992, right around when I was hitting the age exactly where I was extremely cool for cartoon y Nintendo games. (Me and the middle school buddies of mine happened to be into Genesis only. I was back on Nintendo within 4 years.)

Turns out his label works both equally in Japanese and english; I kinda assumed the English fashion but did not know about the Japanese element. In English, he is an evil, bizarro world mirror image of Mario. The "M" flips to become a "W" as well as Wario is created. The name also operates in Japanese, where it is a mix of Mario and "warui," that means "bad."

That is a very high quality scenario, since, as I covered extensively in the list eleven Worst Japanese-To-English Translations In Nintendo History, not every language distinction finesses again and forth that efficiently.

Waluigi.

When I 1st seen "Waluigi" I assumed it was hilarious. While Wario was obviously a natural counterbalance to Mario, Waluigi believed really comically shoehorned (just tacking the "wa" prefix before Luigi) -- including a giant inside joke that somehow cleared every single bureaucratic step and then cracked the mainstream.

Well... according to the Nintendo folks, Waluigi isn't only a gloriously lazy choice or maybe an inside joke gone massive. They *say* it is dependant upon the Japanese phrase ijiwaru, which means "bad guy."

I don't understand. I sense that we'd have to supply them much more than halfway to buy that.

Toad.

Toad is built to look as a mushroom (or perhaps toadstool) because of his giant mushroom hat. It's a great thing the gaming systems debuted before the whole model knew how to earn penis jokes.

Anyway, in Japan, he's considered Kinopio, which happens to be a mixture of the term for mushroom ("kinoko") as well as the Japanese version of Pinocchio ("pinokio"). Those combine being something along the collections of "A Real Mushroom Boy."

Goomba.

In Japanese, the men are known as kuribo, that translates to "chestnut people." That seems sensible because, ya know, if somebody asked you "what do chestnut individuals are like?" you would probably reach something just about similar to the figures.

When they had been shipped for the American model, the team stuck with the Italian initiative of theirs and also known as them Goombas... based off of the Italian "goombah," that colloquially means something as "my fellow Italian friend." It also sort of evokes the photo of low-level mafia thugs without too many capabilities -- like individuals younger brothers and also cousins who they'd to retain the services of or perhaps mother would yell at them. That also applies to the Mario Bros. goombas.

Birdo.

Birdo has practically nothing to do with this particular initial Japanese name. Generally there, he's considered Kyasarin, which regularly translates to "Catherine."

In the teaching manual for Super Mario Bros. 2, in which Birdo debuted, the character description of his reads: "Birdo believes he is a female and likes to be known as Birdetta."

What I do believe all of this means? Nintendo shockingly chosen to create a character who battles with his gender identity and referred to as him Catherine. In the event it was some time to show up to America, they got feet that are cold so they determined at the very last minute to phone him Birdo, although he's a dinosaur. (And do not provide me the "birds are descended from dinosaurs" pop paleontology line. Not shopping for that connection.) In that way, we would just understand about his gender confusion if we read the mechanical, and the Japanese were fairly certain Americans have been either way too lazy or even illiterate to do it en masse.

Princess Toadstool/Peach.

When we all got introduced on the Princess, she was known as Princess Toadstool. I guess this made perfect sense -- Mario was set in the Mushroom Kingdom, so why wouldn't its monarch be called Princess Toadstool. Them inbreeding bluish bloods are usually naming the children of theirs immediately after the country.

Nobody seems to be certain precisely why they went the guidance, nevertheless. In Japan, she was recognized as Princess Peach from day one. That title didn't debut here until 1993, when Yoshi's Safari became available for Super Nintendo. (By the manner -- have you played Yoshi's Safari? In a bizarre twist it's a first-person shooter, the only person in the entire Mario history. It's as something like a country music superstar creating a weird rock album.)

Bowser.

In Japan, there is no Bowser. He is simply referred to as the King Koopa (or perhaps comparable variations, like Great Demon King Koopa). So just where did Bowser come from?

During the import method, there was a problem that the American masses wouldn't see how the small turtles and big bad fellow could very well definitely be known as Koopa. Thus a marketing staff developed dozens of choices for a name, they adored Bowser the best, and also slapped it on him.

In Japan, he's nevertheless hardly ever called Bowser. Over here, his title is now so ubiquitous that he is even supplanted Sha Na Na's Bowzer as America's a good number of famous Bowser.

Donkey Kong.

This's a far more literal interpretation than you think. "Kong" is based off of King Kong. "Donkey" is a family friendly method of calling him an ass. That is right: His label is an useful variation of "Ass Ape."

Super Mario Bros. is a video game launched for the household Computer and also Nintendo Entertainment System found 1985. It shifted the gameplay far from its single screen arcade predecessor, Mario Bros., along with rather showcased side-scrolling platformer quantities. Although not the original game of the Mario franchise, Super Mario Bros. is really famous, in addition to introduced many sequence staples, from power ups, to classic enemies like Goombas, to the basic premise of rescuing Princess Toadstool from King Koopa. As well as kicking off an entire compilation of Super Mario platformer online games, the untamed success of Super Mario Bros. popularized the genre to be a whole, helped revive the gaming sector once the 1983 footage game crash, and was mainly the cause of the initial good results on the NES, with that it was included a launch title. Until it was finally exceeded by Wii Sports, Super Mario Bros. was the most effective marketing videos game of all time for about three years, with more than forty million copies marketed globally.

#all mario characters

[thecorteztwins]

Ch. 2 & 3 of “Mutant Empire: Salvation”

Chapter 2 and Chapter 3 of Mutant Empire: Salvation don't contain any Magneto stuff,  so I didn't tag my usual Magnet fans, but they had some bits I found interesting enough that I was compelled to comment.

CHAPTER TWO We meet one of the residents of Manhattan who stayed. Howard Chin is a middle-aged man who runs a deli. He loves what he does, but is proud that his daughter, Naomi, is going to do better. She's in college and going to be a lawyer. Chin is interesting to me because of how neutral his stance is. He's neither elated by nor opposed to Magneto's rule; he simply wants to keep running his deli as best he can. He is approached by a gang of humans, plus Iceman, who feel otherwise. They're not happy about Magneto's plans to make them second-class citizens in a caste system, and they're not going to take it lying down. Chin says “how bad could it be?” and they point out the fact that mutants can pretty much do whatever the fuck they want with their abilities, so pretty damn bad. One also points out that in WWII, French who collaborated with the Germans were shot, but when Chin asks if that's what they're going to do to him, they tell him they don't work that way. I like Chin a lot. He's nice, he's simple, he's relatable, he's likeable, and he absolutely won my heart when he, a middle-aged dad, thinks how cool Iceman's coat is and how it looks like it comes from the “post-modernist cowboy films” that he loves and how he wishes he had one like it. And my liking him is why I think he's perfect as a representative for a “well how bad could it be?” complacent-type figure who is in the midst of things getting blatantly bad (sound familiar?) but concerned only about his own business and his own family. He's not a bad dude looking to sell out other humans or anything, he's an ordinary guy trying to make the best of the world turning upside down overnight. That's so much more realistic than if he'd been an unlikeable strawman. This book has avoided that with both Magneto and even with the vile Gyrich, now it's applying that side characters as well. Indeed, almost all the very minor characters in this book, mutant or human, no matter what side they're on, get flashes of humanizing, sympathetic treatment. I really, really applaud Golden for this. (I also notice he thinks of Bobby, the white guy, as looking “All American” among the group---Chin himself is probably Asian given his surname, and something like two/three out of around five of the humans are POC. So it makes me sad that Chin's experiences are such that when he looks at Bobby, he sees “All American” but not the others, or, apparently, himself :C Or the author just...did not think of the implication there) This group also tells Chin that the Acolytes and other mutants killed three dozen people last night. I'm not sure if this is going to prove true or not, but it wouldn't surprise me. These Acolytes, as I have covered repeatedly, are totally dicks who kill humans for kicks, and we know that similar types (such as the Marauders) have come to the city as well because they know they can get away with that shit here now. At least, they think they can; I do rather hope Magneto will step up against this, since he's written more moderately in this novel than he usually was during the 1990s, but I also won't hold my breath for it. CHAPTER THREE In Chapter Three, we get to see some more mutants making trouble, and these ones are NOT sympathetic. They're not Acolytes, just a gang of tough guys making a bartender serve them for free. Which I have no doubt would happen; mutants are people, and a lot of people are dicks who, when given the opportunity, will do shit like this. Not murder, sure, but still dickery. Magneto may want to clean up crime, but his plans have yet to be implemented. Til then, it's pretty much mob rule. Also, given his plan is to have the Acolytes be the ones to police the mutant population anyway...yeah I don't see them stopping this shit. Heck, the Kleinstocks would join in! Anyway, they try to harass Rogue thinking she's just a hot human, then the other X-Men show up and they're like OH SHIT and give up without a fight. Then who do the X-Men spy on the street but THE JUGGERNAUT! They leap into action and attack him...which turns out to be a total mistake. Juggernaut is in fact NOT in service to Magneto, he just came up here for a date with a lady he met and thus happened to be here by coincidence when all this shit blew up. He hilariously asks if the X-Men would still like to fight AFTER they get this sorted out, and then seems a bit disappointed that they tell him no. Rogue convinces him to fight for their side, since he already rejected Magneto's side (he says the Kleinstock brothers tried to recruit him earlier, thinking he was a mutant---for those unaware, comics Jugs is NOT a mutant, his powers come from a magical gem) and if Magneto wins, then he'll be forced to bow and scrape to him like everyone else. Juggernaut agrees, not because of Rogue's reasoning but because “I've got friends in this city.”

So that means in addition to hookups, Cain Marko also apparently has a social life  and frienships, which I find neat. I always like knowing what baddies are up to when they're off the clock. And when he says “friends” I guess he must indeed mean actual real friends, not just alliances, if he's willing to stay and fight on their behalf. I mean, yeah, he might just wanna punch more Acolytes, but I think if that was his reasoning, he'd just say so. He really doesn't have a reason to lie, and I don't think that's ever been his style either? 

I would also like to add that I resent Rogue being described as “model-tall and model-thin” in this chapter. I will grant she has a tiny waist, she is a comic book woman and none of them have internal organs, but this was written in the 1990s, when the Kate Moss “heroin chic” super duper skinny models came in but Rogue was drawn at her curviest and most muscular. So the way she looked in the comics at the time this is written is NOTHING how the models looked at the time. I know this is a tiny thing to be annoyed by but I just am, man. I love thick 90s sassy brawler Rogue and her big thighs and big ass (note: when I say “thick” I mean compared to other 1990s comic book women, not real-world thick. It's all relative.) As another note, references to Alpha and Beta mutants (in reference to mutants of considerable power) are made yet again in this chapter. During the 2000s, Grant Morrison introduced the concept of an “Omega-level Mutant” and I've seen several fan-made mutant classification systems based on that, but prior to his “Omega” stuff, I didn't think any previous writer had attempted to class mutants like that. Apparently I was wrong and Christopher Golden (this writer) did! I think I rather prefer his system over Morrison's, to be honest, I feel like it's more linear and understandable and easier to understand. Alpha > Beta > and so on down the line makes a lot more sense to me than like... Omega > Alpha> Beta and so on like I’ve see in fan-made systems based on Omega being the strongest. Now, if you decided to go backwards like Omega > Psi >and so on, ending with Alpha as the weakest, that could make linear sense, but it’s going to confuse people because “Alpha” is nigh-always used in English to indicate the best/top/etc. And “Psi” being the next rank would be even more confusing since people will think you mean psychic mutants ...overall I’d say any attempt to class mutants is doomed to fail because of how variant their powers are, but like, if I had to pick, y’know?

#xmen #x men #mutant empire #X men novels #marvel

[travisandersondatingblog]

Why Do Men Cheat? 14 Reasons You Need To Know to Avoid Heartbreak

If I had a dollar for every time a coaching client asked me, “Adam, why do men cheat?”, I’d sadly be worth millions by now!

If you’ve been cheated on once — or God forbid, multiple times — you might be feeling like all men cheat, and might be scratching your head as to why. Well, I’m here to tell you that in no way do all guys cheat, but diving into this subject might help you heal the pain of being cheated on and help you move forward to find a genuine and loyal man.

First, Let’s Get the Story Straight

Why do men cheat? They are mysterious creatures!

To be fair, a decent amount of women cheat, too, so let’s not put men in the doghouse alone. Still, more men seem to be cheaters than women. According to the General Social Survey, 20% of men have cheated, while just 13% of women have. And age matters: the older men get, the more likely they are to cheat. About 14% of 30-year-old men cheat, while 24% of 80-year-old men (can you believe it?) are cheaters!

But why do they feel the need to cheat at any age? Let’s explore the question: why do men cheat.

Why Do Men Cheat? 14 (Sad) Excuses

Every man who cheats on his girlfriend or wife may have a different reason for doing it…or not have a clue why he misbehaves. But here are some common reasons (not excuses, per se) that might explain why he cheated.

1. They Want To Get Out of The Relationship

Some men aren’t good at confrontation. They may be unhappy in their relationship but don’t know how to just man up and have a conversation about their feelings. Instead, they stray. By wooing and sleeping with another woman, they are sabotaging their relationships, and in fact, want to get caught. Once they are caught, it’s a quick end to the relationship.

I know; it’s a strange way of ending a relationship, but I’m not saying men who cheat are always thinking with their brains!

2. They Don’t Realize What They Already Have

It’s the “grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” syndrome: men see other women and think that they’re what they want. They’re overlooking what’s right in front of them: you! Maybe they feel like you don’t appreciate them, and so they find a woman who does.

Sometimes the act of cheating makes them realize that they’ve got it pretty good at home. In that case, they might confess their indiscretion…or simply put more attention into nurturing their relationship with you.

3. They Believe it Makes Them More of A Man

via GIPHY

I don’t know where this misguided idea comes from. Guys don’t sit around saying, “Woo doggie! I feel like a real man. I’ve been cheatin’ on my lady for years,” and get fist bumps all around. We don’t encourage other guys to cheat, so I’m not sure why some men think it makes them more manly to cheat.

If your guy needs to feel like a man, he should chop wood, not be unfaithful to you!

And actually…it might even be based on their genes. In a study from the University of Queensland, people were more likely to cheat if they had specific types of oxytocin and vasopressin receptor genes. Vasopressin is a hormone related to social behaviors including trust, empathy, and sexual bonding.

4. They Do It Because They Have Low Self-Esteem

Who doesn’t like feeling attractive? When a woman flirts with or shows interest in a man with low self-esteem, he may feel so good that he acts on it.

A healthy person doesn’t seek his own self-worth and validation from others; it comes from inside. If you think your man has low self-esteem and seeks validation elsewhere, realize that you will never be able to make him feel better about himself and that he’ll continue to seek it from other women.

5. They Are Bored With What They Have at Home

I see this with couples who have been married or together for a long time. It’s a fact: things can get stale in a relationship. It takes work to keep feeling about your partner the way you did when you first met them. And for some men, that boredom is an excuse to find excitement elsewhere.

It’s not your job to entertain your partner. Certainly, you should put effort into making the relationship happy and healthy long-term. Show him that you appreciate him by complimenting him or giving him physical touch. Schedule date nights, even if you’re both busy and exhausted. But realize: if he’s going to seek stimulation with another woman, there’s no amount of effort you can put in that will keep him happy at home. Get rid of this guy.

6. They Believe They Deserve It

In a similar way to how you think you “deserve” a glass of wine after Pilates, some men think they “deserve” to have their cake and eat it too…in other words, be in a serious relationship with you while having a side piece.

Maybe they travel for work and justify needing companionship to counter the stress…

Or you just had a baby and aren’t giving him the sexual attention he thinks he deserves, so he seeks it elsewhere…

You see these justifications are bulls#%^, right? In no way does he “deserve” to have multiple women. He deserves to be single and lonely!

You, on the other hand, deserve to be happy, and if you’re Googling “why do men cheat,” I’m thinking you’re not.

7. They Are Narcissistic

A narcissist doesn’t take your feelings into consideration.

I have coached thousands of men and women on dating and finding love, and it’s interesting: I tend to see more male narcissists than female.

While narcissists can be incredibly charming, they’re also only looking out for Number One. They tend to think they’re superior to everyone and that normal rules do not apply to them. That makes them prone to cheating. 

Not only do narcissists lack emotional empathy, causing them to not understand that they’re hurting you, but they also don’t have whole object relations and object constancy.

People who do have whole object relations understand that people have both positive and negative qualities and that no one is perfect. A narcissist may think you’re not enough for him because you’ve got flaws he doesn’t like, so he might seek out another woman who he thinks is perfect, at least for a few weeks.

Object constancy means you can maintain your positive emotions even when you’re angry or hurt.

Elinor Greenberg, PhD, an expert on narcissistic disorders, says:

“Object constancy helps you rein in your impulses to hurt someone during a fight. Lacking it makes people more willing to emotionally and physically damage their mate.”

So if a man can’t empathize with your feelings and he is unhappy because you have flaws (you’re human, after all), he may decide to help himself to an extra helping of loving elsewhere. It’s sad, I know.

8. They Are Not Built For Monogamy

Monogamy is not the natural order of things. Think about it. Cavemen spread their seed far and wide in an effort to populate the world. There was no “couple for life” concept back then.

But as we as humans evolved and became more stable with reliable food sources and shelter, people began pairing up, finding emotional support in having a partner.

So while you might assume everyone wants to find one magical person, the fact is: not everyone is cut out for monogamy. In fact: 1 in 5 single adults have been in an open relationship before.

That being said, there is a difference between being in an open relationship and cheating. In the former, both partners are aware that the other may date or have sex with other people. It’s consensual. Cheating is not. If your guy thinks he’s not made for monogamy, he shouldn’t be in a relationship!

9. They Think They Can Get Away With It

If you found a wallet filled with money in the middle of the desert and no one was around, would you take it?

For some guys, it’s the simple fact that they can cheat and get away with it that compels them to do so. If there are no consequences…why the heck not?

A man who cheats because he can isn’t a man with morals. If you’re looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, you want a man who does the right thing, who factors in your feelings when making decisions that impact you both.

10. They Like The Thrill of It

Cheating is illicit. The forbidden fruit. Watch a movie like Unfaithful with Diane Lane, and you see sneaking off for a little afternoon delight as sexy, not hurtful.

Some men like taking risks and the rush that comes with them. For them, the idea that they could get caught (even if they don’t expect to) creates an endorphin rush.

My advice to these men? Buy a motorcycle. Better to risk your life on the open road than hurt a wonderful woman.

11. They Have The Opportunity To Do It

What starts out as innocent drinks with a coworker might turn into cheating.

Maybe Becca from Accounting has been flirting with him at happy hour after work. Maybe an old girlfriend called to catch up. For some men, simply having opportunity compels them to cheat.

There’s a little thing called impulse control that these guys lack! When you buy a dozen cupcakes, it’s the little voice in your head that keeps you from eating all 12 in one sitting (okay, maybe just 2). It’s the voice that says (or is supposed to), “hey, this attention is flattering, but I have an amazing wife at home. Time to go.”

12. They’re Not Getting Sex at Home

This is a tough one because sex is such an important part of a healthy relationship. Men who aren’t having sex with their partners may seek it elsewhere. But if you’re not having sex with your partner, there’s a bigger issue at play. Likely one or both of you simply don’t know how to communicate what’s wrong, and so you’re subconsciously expressing your frustration by disconnecting physically and emotionally.

If your sex life is drying up and you worry that he might cheat, start a dialogue about what’s really wrong. Make an effort to get back on track. The longer you are with someone, the more effort you have to put into nurturing your sexual relationship because you’re no longer jumping one another’s bones twice a day the way you did at the start.

13. They Reconnect with a Past Love

Ah, the one that got away. You probably have a man in your past who things didn’t work out with, though you wish they had. You might even still love him on some level.

Things get tricky when those people from our past show up again. It’s all too easy to rekindle old feelings, even if who you are now is vastly different from who you were when you dated in college.

Sometimes these reunions result in cheating, and they’re so much worse than just a casual affair because there’s history and emotion involved. The question is: was this a one-time “I needed closure” type situation, or is he nurturing a permanent reunion with this woman? Either way, you don’t need to stick around to find out.

14. They’re in a Long-Distance Relationship

Long-distance love is difficult. You barely see one another, and you subsist on FaceTime calls. But what about your physical needs that aren’t getting met?

You might have no trouble going without sex or touch for the months that you’re apart, but often guys cheat because they have no willpower in a long-distance situation. Plus the likelihood of being caught is low.

If you’re in a long-distance relationship, consider opening the conversation to discuss seeing other people. It may not be what you want, but if you think he might seek the company of women regardless, isn’t it better to know and give him permission than for him to sneak around? And you never know: you might like having the option to see other men yourself!

Conclusion:

So…why do men cheat? For no good reason.

But the real point here is that you need to look at the situation and realize that in no way will it get better for you, and you deserve so much more.

If your partner has cheated, you will never really be able to trust him again. Every day you will wonder if he’s actually cheating when he says he’s going for a run…or to meet friends…or to sleep. Trust is an incredibly fragile creature, and once it’s been broken, it’s not easily mended.

It can be hard to let a cheater go if he’s super sorry and promises you the moon to make up for his indiscretion. He may promise to fix problems that have been in your relationship for years, if only you will give him another chance.

And certainly, there is the possibility that he learned his lesson and will never cheat again. But with that shadow of doubt looming over your head, you will probably never be happy in this relationship the way you were before it happened (or before you knew).

Prioritize yourself and be honest about what you need. You need a partner who respects you enough to be true to you, and for whom you are enough. You are fabulous; never settle.

Have you been cheated on? What’s your perspective on why men cheat, and how did you survive the heartbreak? Leave a comment below.

You don’t know why he cheated, but now you’re nursing a seriously broken heart. My Heal Your Heart program was designed with you in mind and will help you find the strength to move forward. Sign up today and start healing!

The post Why Do Men Cheat? 14 Reasons You Need To Know to Avoid Heartbreak appeared first on Sexy Confidence.

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[deathgroup]

Introduction, Reading III: The New Materiality of Design. by Yi, 7 Oct. 2018

It is really a coincidence that the day I started reading <the missing mess>, I just reviewed a talk which called <The ending of Cordelia> in the morning. The speaker said: “the ending of Cordelia (letting her die or not) is a very important watershed in drama. This is the watershed of the so-called medieval and modern century.” 

A major difference between the Middle Ages and the modern century is that there are some great figures in the Middle Ages who weave a belief. The whole society believes in such beliefs. Anyone who doubts these beliefs is wicked and bad. These great figures covered our heads with a man-made sky. When each of us looks up, we do not see the natural sky, but the artificial ethical one. The values of medieval drama is “One good return deserves another”, they always demonstrate this kind of faith of the world—— meaningful and orderly. However, is this world really a meaningful and orderly world? NO. When Shakespeare faced the whole world by himself, he discovered a huge tragedy. This tragedy is how small and negligible humans are. The world is disordered, the world is meaningless. All the order and meaning are just something those great people made up for us to believe.  Our true tragedy is “all those things are fake”. The death of Cordelia made King Lear a great tragedy, any attempt to resurrect Cordelia was the vulgarization of King Lear and Shakespeare.

Ok it seems a bit digress from the subject…back to the topic. Why I thought of Shakespeare when I saw the seat belt example? Because I found a different “great figure” in this context. An interesting sentence I noticed in page 152: “I, plus the car, plus the dozens of patented engineers, plus the police are making me be moral”. Now, since we know there’s no such “orderly” world, we began to indulge ourselves into this selfish, physical, immediate world. It would be so easy for us to do “bad” or “immoral” things if there’s no any laws or rules as constraints. However, laws and rules can’t take care of every human issues and details, there are still plenty gaps between actively-following and narrowly-escaping. And here it is, our neglected “great figure”, comes into the show——the hidden mechanism—— “materialization of morality”. (I have to admit that this author drove me a bit crazy because he’s too wordy. His language is not hard to understand but his logic keeps detouring. He is trying to make his narrative fun and easy following, it might be good for audiences who seating there listening to him, but as a reader, I feel it’s a waste of paper. He should narrow 30 pages down to 10 or something, and I believe that’ll be enough. So I googled relative articles to help myself understand his core idea, and that is “materialization of morality”.)

| Materialization of morality|

It refers to the abstract moral concept through the appropriate technical design, so that it can be embodied in the structure and function of the artifact, thus play a moral guiding and normative effect on human behaviours.

Two examples below to help explain:

1.A fly in the urinals at Schiphol Airport

https://worksthatwork.com/1/urinal-fly

According to Klaus Reichardt, who invented the waterless urinal and now runs a company that sells this technology, nothing works as effectively as getting men to aim in the right place.‘Guys are simple-minded and love to play with their urine stream, so you put something in the toilet bowl and they’ll aim at that,’ says Reichardt. ‘It could be anything. I’ve seen a golf flag, a bee, a little tree. It just happens that at Schiphol it’s a fly.’

2.Conceptual traffic light in Ukuran

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owAAnalkzGs

___________________________

Another point Bruno mentioned over and over again is “a nonhuman doesn’t mean non-humanity in the process”, on the contrary, “Engineers are the authors of these subtle plots and scenarios of dozens of delegated and interlocking characters so few people know how to appreciate. The lable “inhuman” applied to techniques simply overlooks translation mechanisms and the many choices that exist for figuring or defiguring, personifying or abstracting, embodying or disembodying actors.” This viewpoint can relate to the ending of<Workers of the World, Conform!>:

-Standardization helped transform professions like architecture into endeavours of calculation and computation, the mechanics of which are hidden to us.

-“system builders” who create the infrastructure on which we rely, and who are “always engaged in ideological and discursive work, not merely technical work.” (everything’s political :) )

Among all the readings we did in Design as Critical Practice Course, Workers of the World is my favourite, it was so impressive, because I never thought about why A4 paper is the standard paper size among the whole world, and also don’t know it supplied the basis for the standardization of bricks, buildings and all the furniture and fixtures in buildings etc. … But what more sobering is that the author mentioned the potential danger of standardization.

-Standardization was associated not only with discipline but with the enhancement of surveillance. The Nazis initially required party communications to conform to DIN 476, and ultimately outlawed the use anything but A4 paper in official correspondences.

-Max Weber in Economy and Society (1922): the development of a rigid division of labor, clear chains of command, and routinized behavior. (“The more perfectly the bureaucracy is ‘dehumanized,’” Weber observed, “the more completely it succeeds in eliminating from official business love, hatred, and all purely personal, irrational, and emotional elements which escape calculation. This is the specific nature of bureaucracy and it is appraised as its special virtue.” (how scary)

So we can take a glimpse from these sentences how Nazis grew strong. It reminds me of a German movie <the wave>. A teacher starts an experiment to demonstrate how easily the masses can be manipulated because his students do not believe that a dictatorship could be established in modern Germany. Ostwald wrote in his 1927 autobiography. “If one wants to organize, one can only do so if one first intervenes in the unification and coordination of the most everyday, common, and thus also least reflective functional routines.” This sentence is so sobering, perfectly explains why waves can become a Wave.

We hardly doubted those technical standards in our daily life. Of course we don’t need to doubt them all the time otherwise our life would be totally ruined. The importance is we should have some awareness because we are so easy to ignore the conditions we live in and get used to accepting the common sense of society without any asking. We take things for granted all the time, we accustomed to social rules day by day, however, we don’t even know something we did might actually contrast with our belief. It’s always necessary to be vigilant.