#words from my weird little brain

[pro-crastinate17]

hello!! so im going to try to make a disability inclusive picrew and id like some help making sure i include as much as i can!

the person would be seated and pretty much all of the body would be visible. ill post it when im done!

its mostly focused on phys disabilities, bc i so rarely can find picrews w good diverse mobility aid options, but ofc im including non phys disabilities as well! (sorry for clunky phrasing, im unclear on the preferred term for non phys disabilities so thats the term ive been using)

what i have so far is below the read more. be warned it is a very long list! (every option/category of option i could think of)

if you think i missed something, please recommend it!!! (related note: id much rather get recommended something that is already on the list than miss something!)

category: head

various jaw shapes 

missing jaw 

crooked/misaligned jaw

category: skin

wide range of skin tones, including white/extremely pale (albino) 

freckles, lots of scar variation (including burns), vitiligo, acne, facial hair, eye bags, other skin conditions (trying to make a list)

breathing tubes, masks, bandages 

bindis 

category: eyes 

blue, grey, green, hazel, medium brown, dark brown, black, red 

heterochromia options 

lazy eye options 

clouded eye options 

closed eyes that look like winking and closed eyes that don't 

missing eyes

category: mouth 

general expressions 

variations for color 

variations for cleft lip, scars, facial paralysis 

category: ears 

ear size, shape, missing ears, deformed ears

category: eye/ear accessories 

earrings, earplugs, hearing aids, bone anchored hearing aids, headphones, earmuffs (modifications for missing/deformed ears), cochlear implant

glasses, sunglasses, blue light glasses, eye patches, eye masks/bandages 

category: nose 

various shapes & sizes, bumpy noses, deformed noses  

category: eyebrows 

lots of expression options, thickness options, color options (including white) 

one missing, scarring, eyebrow slits 

category: body 

body types: very skinny, skinny, fat, very fat (options for muscularity too if i can figure out how)

body hair, scarring, freckles, tattoos   

range of missing limbs, deformed limbs, prosthetics   

diabetes patch 

category: hair 

wide range of hairstyles, bangs, and colors 

patchy hair, scalp scarring, receding hairline 

category: head coverings

range of hats, hair accessories, headbands, bandanas    

range of hijabs, turbans, kippot (+ more variation in cultural headwear if theres space)

head bandages 

category: clothes

range of styles and colors 

adaptable to body types (+ breasts), missing/deformed limbs 

category: shoes 

range of styles 

adaptable to body types, missing foot/feet 

category: hand accessories  

gloves, bracelets, rings, nails, wrist braces, splint rings

range of types, adaptable to missing/deformed hands 

category: pins 

range of queer pride flags 

pronoun pins 

animals, fandoms/characters (def muppets, feel free to recommend characters and i'll try to include some of the most popular ones) 

general disability pride, cripplepunk, madpunk, sign union flag, & pin (for systems), specific disabilities (need some help with these, send me specific flags and i’ll include them!) 

category: seat 

chair, manual wheelchair, power chair, spinny chair, throne, rollator, electric scooter 

category: mobility aids 

cane, white cane, crutches (underarm/axillary and forearm), rollator, walker (with and without wheels), electric scooter  

joint braces (shoulder, elbow, knee, ankle, back, others?), joint tape, compression garments 

category: other disability aids

AAC tablets, word cards, glucose monitor, sunflower lanyard, inhaler, medical id bracelet

stoma bag, central line catheter, picc line catheter, heart monitor, breathing tube, feeding tube (nasal and abdominal), tracheostomy 

stim toys/chewelry, stuffed animals, phone 

service animals

#disability #chronic disability #chronic illness #physical disability #physically disabled #cripple punk #cpunk #cripplepunk #actually disabled #disabled #disabled community #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #madpunk #neurodiversity #neuropunk #actually mentally ill #mental illness #actually chronically ill #words from my weird little brain #disability picrew tag

[egophiliac]

happy new year Ego!!! Just wanted to let you know that I absolutely adore your twst fanart and the tags are just an absolute pleasure to read! You are my greatest inspiration for my personal twst art and I just wanted to thank you for your wonderful masterpieces <333 if possible, may I ask what are some of your headcanons for the diasomnia family? If not for diasomnia then any other characters are fine as well!

thank you, and happy new year! 💚💜💚 that is amazing to hear; it's always a little bewildering but super flattering that other people like my silly little doodles so much!

I don't think I really have any really solid headcanons and also canon keeps validating me left and right (FLUFFY DOMESTIC DIAFAM IS REAL). mostly just kind of...impressions and general thoughts, if that makes sense! lately though I've been kind of obsessed with thinking about Lilia's hair, and specifically when/why he ended up cutting it. (l-look, we're bouncing around the timeline and I gotta make decisions about these things when I draw, it's relevant) (I mean I would probably be weirdly fixated on this anyway, but.)

I think I've settled on the idea that he kept it long until he went to NRC, partly because 1) I like drawing The Ponytail, and 2) I think he thought of NRC as a chance to reinvent himself a bit! he gets to go and be a wacky carefree teenager for a few years and have fun! (officially he's there to keep an eye on Son #1, but how much trouble could he get into, really.) so he gave himself a Cool Teen Haircut to go with his fresh new Cool Teen Persona!

also maybe he had some reflection on his hair's troubled past with three kids...

...and had to weigh his vanity versus the fact that he was going off to be around hundreds of kids on a daily basis, and. the choice suddenly seemed obvious.

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers #this is my blog and i'm going to write a million words about lilia and you can't stop me #but anyway i do genuinely get the impression that he's using Pretending to Be a Teenager as a chance to be even sillier than usual #he's a very silly man he's just being EXTRA silly #supported by his recent birthday card where he says he was specifically trying to cast himself as an adorable little brother-type #because he wanted the other students to give him free shit and save him seats and things like that #it worked for about a week before he turned out to be way too good at stuff and everyone just kind of ended up in awe of him instead #and he was like DANGIT. I'VE RUINED IT FOR MYSELF. #(then he and epel went on to talk about their hypothetical vtubersonas because the birthday cards are INSANE but anyway) #i'm bad at headcanons :( sorry! #unless it's dumb things like...what pokemon they would have or whatever #(malleus would have some kind of special fancy-colored dragapult) (but i digress) #i have a hard time putting things into words. just know that i love the grampa bat and his weird kids very much. #my brain is also still kind of fried from the last couple of weeks #i am however starting 2024 off the way i intend to continue it: in deep contemplation of anime hair #(sorry if these look weirdly aliased) (i realized about 3/4 of the way through i was using the wrong brush and i didn't want to restart :U)

[jenna-louise-jamie]

thinking about yassen gregorovich instead of sleeping (because i love him) and how he is a catalyst. yassen stabbs ash -> ash kills john rider -> ian rider raises alex -> yassen kills ian rider -> mi6 blackmails alex into becoming a teenage spy.

i have so many thoughts that i can't properly articulate. obviously this is a simplified chain of events, but yassen and his choices set off a chain reaction of the world's most unfortunate dominos. especially when you read russian roulette. to be clear im not necessarily trying to blame him for everything because that feels very mean. he was also just a 14 year old kid when everything in his life went wrong, just like alex. only difference being yassen literally had no one.

i think i should write an essay about this because i haven't even gotten into my thoughts about what yassen and alex's dynamic would look like past eagle strike. i would imagine it'd be similar to ellie and joel from the last of us part 2.

where obviously yassen loves alex and alex on some level cares for yassen back but struggles to reconcile that with the fact that yassen is responsible for his uncle's death. a very unforgivable act. it would be so messy and complicated and angsty, because on one hand here is an adult who truly cares about him and has a connection with him through his father. yassen could tell alex about john, and trust that yassen truly wants whats best for him. but he killed ian, and he cannot take that back.

while alex reels from those feelings, yassen is also trying to reconcile his love of alex with the knowledge that he on some level is responsible for the suffering alex endured at the hands of mi6. and possibly even the fact that alex's godfather is the one who killed john and helen.

#btw i think anthony horowitz killed yassen off so he wouldnt have to deal with this lmao #and sidenote ash is responsible for his own shitty choices but i think itd be difficult for yassen to cope with the fact that stabbing ash #led to some very bad consequences for literally everyone #are there any fics that are similar to what im describing?? ? #i read a ton of alex rider fics but i mostly read fluff because im actually too emotionally fragile to handle angst #i cried while reading stormbreaker and that book wasnt even supposed to be sad #if this is doesnt make any sense its because i woke up at 2 am and wrote this #its just word vomit; pure not proofread thoughts directly from my fucked up little brain #idk maybe someone will enjoy reading this #alex rider #yassen gregorovich #alex rider books #ian rider #john rider #chaotic ramblings #and final note i do not ship yalex #i was thinking of this more in terms of yassen having a weird guardian/parental relationship with alex #if it wasnt clear from my ellie and joel reference from the last of us #anyways im gonna go back to making shitposts and memes so i never have to feel anything again thank you goodnight <3

[tj-crochets]

Hey y'all, I am blanking on a word so hard I am even blanking on the words to describe that word What's the term for like...groups of colors? color palettes but more specific? I'm looking for the generic term, but the specific words that are versions of that generic I can think of are things like earth tones, jewel tones, pastels, and maybe brights/neons I'm trying to figure out other categories like those but I cannot figure out what the word is to search

#crowd sourcing brain function because mine is not working #what is that called????? there has to be a like overarching category name for those #normally when I forget a word I can work around it in a way that makes it easier to come up with the word #when I was little I read a book that mentioned every piece of data in your mind has a pathway to get to it #and if you only have one connection to that data point when the path breaks you lose it #but if you have multiple paths to get there you can lose one path and still be able to find the data #(like I could remember shark facts by thinking about carnivores or weird teeth or shark jaws or non-human sensory perceptions) #idk if that is true??? but it was like. formative to me as a small child #so I deliberately made multiple associations to anything I learned from that point on #to the point where it kind of became second nature #which is good for me now that my brain is uhhhh not operating full speed #because I can work around a mental block (usually) and come up with the word #but I cannot remember this one!!! and it's frustrating! I'm just spinning through loose associations trying to find one that connects #my brain is a mush of half remembered art terms at the moment and I am getting no closer to figuring it out lol

[skeletalheartattack]

theres another member of zarbons species in the moro arc of dragon ball super! he transforms into a differentmonster form than zarbon

Yuzun! i know him! or well, i kinda know him. i'm not really caught up or invested in anything Dragon Ball related beyond Buu Saga, but i've learned somewhat about him.

i think he's pretty neat! and i'm really happy they expanded Zarbons race just a little bit with Yuzun. though you hate to hear how he went out... there's no peace for my mans race. i hate this solar system. fuuuck.

#ask #shelbybunny #i like his design :) although its really hard to top zarbon's.............. <- sorry just those combinations of words turned off his brain. #understand okay? #i think his monster form is cool! idk if id be as weird about his monster form as i am with Zarbons :) but i like him #i dont know if Super would have this part in the anime... idk anything about super... but i imagine Yuzun having a surfer dudes voice #kinda like yajirobe's voice yknow #atleast that was always my first impression. though i guess i could see a similar regal voice coming from him #though ogh those wrist bands. i dont think anything for me could top Zarbons arm warmers #Zarbons arm warmers have always stuck out in my brain as like one of my favourite details. #literally would love to have some like... thick pink nylon arm warmers. thats how ive always imagined Zarbons to be #or a fabric similar to nylon. that smooth soft fabric yknow. that good shit. #i think if i wore those my brain would turn off because id be stimming those shits. #anyway :) yuzuns really neat. continuously happy knowing theres more of his race than just Zarbon #fuck frieza girlies. there'd be so much more of Zarbons race if it werent for that bitch bastard. #i'll never get behind the frieza zarbon dynamic. ive always kinda seen zarbon as being afraid of frieza #like its more obvious near his last few episodes in the show but. ugh man. #i believe what zarbon said in his final moments of saying he'd turn to vegetas side and go against frieza. #then that little bitch put a hole in him. horrible horrible. hate on planet namek. #anyway! thank you for the ask :) i appreciate getting to talk about Yuzun a little bit

[bo0zey]

Did I miss "back from the war" recreation or is that not happening

OK so i've been meaning to address this for a while because it’s actually something i've been genuinely annoyed/sad/upset about; my original plan to recreate the post was to go to riot fest & have someone take pics of me during MCR live in person (caption wouldve been something like ‘when will mcr--omg they;re Back from the Warfdskns’ lol idk). i ended up 2nd row from the barrier & i was like OMG bc i didn’t expect to get so close & i was like ‘WOW these r gonna b such GR8 PICTURES!!i;m so lucky!!this is gENIUS!’ & so my plan was literally going according to/even better than planned right?? i mean the fact that i was ~a few feet away from the stage n was ~1.5hrs away from seeing mcr LIVE??? my plan was going along SUSPICIOUSLY well..everything was falling into place TOO perfectly...it was almost to good to be true right??? IT WAS. everything went to shit & my plan fell thru during the last band before MCR when my body suddenly fell victim to the effects of being crowd crushed for >7 hours straight; i experienced syncope & was pulled over the barrier & out of the pit by security.

sooooo, you didn’t ‘miss’ anything; the post was supposed to be recreated at the concert, but the universe pulled an uno-reverse on me when it remembered i’m on the universal ‘Do Not Ever Allow to Be Truly Happy’ list lol. i meant to post an update abt my failed plan afterwards, but tbh the actual event in itself made me wanna fr kms, and i felt even guiltier/worse for being unable to fulfill my promise to u all bc i fr planned on recreating it at the concert. 'ok but u were still at the concert after u got pulled out’ ok physically yes but mentally N-Ooo. due to the hypoxia (lack of blood blow/oxygen to the brain) i’d obtained secondary to being crowd crushed PLUS the psychological trauma of being removed against my living breathing dying will from the pit (btw the psychological trauma has nothing to do with being crowd-crushed but im not gonna get into that turmoil rn lol), i was stuck in an altered mental state for the remainder of the concert. i was dissociated for mcr’s entire set until i woke up the next morning & it took ~3-4 days for my body to fully recover from the physical trauma of being crowd crushed.

i still plan on recreating the post eventually, but tbh it’s not rlly my top priority atm bc 1) i still can’t come to terms w/ the fact i lost my 1 n only chance to experience MCR live & 2) imo seeing MCR live was the perfect opportunity to recreate the post & that clearly didn’t work out for me sooo now i have no idea how else i can top that idea :( .

#i have an idea but i’m not sure if it’ll work...imma need mcr 2 pull thru n meet me halfway on this 1 lol #anywyas i h8 talking abt riot fest i feel like every1 h8s me whining abt it too lol #i was so angry and upset with the world and myself. i really tried so hard to stay conscious; #ppl were asking if i was ok & i kept nodding yes because i didn’t want to be pulled out of the pit bc #then i’d lose my spot + my ONLY chance to see MCR live & so up close. #next thing i know i’m being pulled over the barrier by security and WHOOSH into dissociationville i go. #they were too much for my brain to handle so i’d just fall back even more into that weird dissociated state #i honestly would have preferred to not have even attended the concert. like HONESTLY 100% deadass i wish i didnt even go. #like imagine urself in my shoes lol i went from being 2nd row from the stage to like 70000 rows away. #yall dont understand how awful it is to have such a golden opportuntiy to be 1 hr n a few feet away from the band who saved u #to having it all ripped away from u in literally a matter of seconds #if i’d just stayed home my 12y/o little wouldn’t have had to experience the psychological trauma of having everything to having nothing. #my 15/16 year old teen wouldnt have had to re-live the experience of realizing there’s nothing left #in this world to comfort/protect/save her OR her childself #22 year old me realizing i failed them and all the other parts of me. i cant be happy i cant have shit in this world #i couldnt have my mom but at least i had mcr right??? nope lol that got ripped out of my fingertips too #i cant even begin to describe the emotional damage/psychological blow the situation had on me bc like #i cant even put it into words and i know nobody will truly understand/believe me when i say how heartbreaking & detrimental this #situation was for my already fucked up psyche. or they’ll think im exaggerating but its like u dont get it #ive lost so many things and people i spent my entire childhood/adolescence maladaptive daydreaming. #at age 12 mcr became my escapism for ~4yrs straight bc they were the only thing that made me happy #while all the other ppl in the real world in my day to day life were making me wanna kms everyday #like ik it sounds extreme/dramatic but ??? i mean i dont even fully understand my reaction tbh. #i think its just mcr used to be my happy place n then i get to see them live and its just an absolute nightmare #and the fact that i was dissociated from their concert when they used to be the only thing to keep me grounded to this earth??? #truly i wish i didnt even go like i cant even listen to their music anymore without wanting to crawl out of my skin #when the only thing that made u feel alive made u feel deader than ever inside....yeahhhhh not fun!! #its a heartsinking feeling i hate it so much i wish i had a doever #mcr #when will mcr return from the war

[hella1975]

i hope you all know the andrew brainrot is happening simultaneously with the touya brainrot like i have in fact not moved on ive instead found a newer weirder state of being where every single fucking thing relates to them and they both relate to each other and my brain is going to. explode

#'touya is a firewielder in a superpowered universe & andrew is a medicated athlete HOW r they similar' and what if i opened your third eye #it's about the violent villainous character being the one who needed saving the most and never ever had a kind hand extended #it's about the people in their life most in a position to nurture them being the ones to traumatise them most #it's about societal failings. it's about rejects. it's about bearing your pain terribly. it's about being a bad victim #it's about refusing to be put in a cute little self-helping box and instead emerging from your trauma covered in blood and raging #it's about being an obsessive light-haired freak with a weird fucking aesthetic. i can keep going #they are literally the same person in my mind in my mind's eye in my little brain if you will #i wrote 1.3k words of dog teeth yesterday. im going to get crack off the chefs at work today and punch a customer in the teeth #andrew minyard #touya todoroki

[icewindandboringhorror]

Various images of things

#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that -- #1. PIBBINS.... cheering clapping hooting hollering glorious applause everytime I see a pigeon in public #2. Birthday card that I drew for someone. .. kittys... #3. 2023's annual haul of tiny white pumpkins.. i get at least one white pumpkin every year around fall when they have pumpkins in stores #because I just love the color and texture ... bright white and smooth and cold and round.. kind of like a volleyball or something #4. A brief adventure into watching big brother (only earlier seasons of course as I hate all reality shows post like 2013 or something when #they became overly focused on social media and overproduced memeable phrases more.. like even though ALL reality shows have always #been extremely fake and annoying and mindless it's like..... newer stuff seems A Different Kind Of Fake or something) since whenever #I'm sick sometimes I find weird mindless things like that to watch (that one time I had bronchitis I watched all of Flavor of Love in my #half awake illness stupor and now everytime I heat up canned minestrone soup (mostly all I ate that week) I think of flavor flav since #thats just a weird brain connection I have now lol) ANYWAY.. I was sick and watched like 2 seasons of this and then thought it was too #uninteresting and obnoxious to continue (more like 1 and a half since I skipped the rest of one once only boring people were left) BUT this #one guy had a very mischevious looking face and he also said a few things (like the above captioned speech) that sounded like dialogue #some fantasy character would say.. so I took a screencap of him and edited him into a mischevious wizard i guess.?? idk I was sick lol #~your little friend has a poisoned tongue~ is just a very unexpectedly serious sounding wording for some random normal #frat dude looking guy to say while casually chatting on a reality tv show in like 2008 or whenever that was filmed lol #5. FLUFFY CLOVERS!! I'd never seen them be furry and soft before?? inchresting.. #6. Noodle sitting in bed with the cat figurines looming above him... the council of kittys... #7. McDonald's full breakfast platter + asparagus + strawberries & cream (also of course this is old and I am now boycotting mcdonalds etc) #i try to group the images somewhat consistently like.. winter stuff with winter stuff or summer stuff with summer stuff #but I have so many random pictrues floating around on my computer that I never post that sometimes some are not organized or just #thrown into a set because there's nowhere else for them. Like the pigeon picture is from like 3 years ago for example lol #8 & 9 - I think I've posted these before but I just find them very interesting looking flowers. whenever they happen to be blooming #I'll pick up a few when I'm out on walks or etc. ... poof ball looking things #photo diary

[dnangelic]

what is the truth. schrodinger's normal abnormal boy

#i was going to write a meta but i deleted it all bc i got embarrassed and can't put woRDS TOGETHER IN A SMART/CLEAR WAY #RHGHHH #its in my brain though i swear #its just abt daisuke's juvenile sense of confusion #hes young. hes a lil lost! he goes along with his family's phantom thievery but he doesn't necessarily completely enjoy it #it's complicated. he truly genuinely from the bottom of his heart loves art. but he doesn't necessarily like the stealing aspect #and he'd never ever steal anything deeply precious to anyone. he refuses to hurt anyone's feelings #but also- he's a little out of touch with things too sometimes. he keeps convincing himself he's 'mostly' or 'sorta' or 'pretty much' norma #when hes NEARLY DIED PLENTY OF TIMES thanks to his training #nobody normal comes home to electric doorknobs pitfalls alligators rabid dogs and lasers #his whole family is literally a family of criminals! he has live artworks w bonkers powers in his basement! #his own weird pet rabbit can FLY AND TALK #ud think turning into dark he'd be like 'well this might as well just happen' but in a way dark rlly was the last straw for daisuke #and like. there's nothing normal about any of this oagbdkgfk ESP IN A MODERN AGE!!! #but daisuke a) is a little willfully ignorant of it and b) genuinely ignorant of anything outside of it. bc again. hes a kid! #he doesn't have a lot of friends! he's a loser! #satoshi bringing up the tamers' cycles too. dark and daiki both agreeing that even if things seem fine now #that in the future the niwa and hikari would fight again. the niwa would cause the hikari pain #over and over. daisuke can't stand it. everyone keeps trying to tell him that his life and future is fixed #but if it's not one he agrees with or wants for himself then he's going to reject it #and that goes double for people like satoshi who have to reject krad. their sorrow and pain #bc it doesn't actually produce any beneficial outcome. its just senseless #*･ﾟ⊰ 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒. ⊱ ✦ › OUT.

[pro-crastinate17]

ok so my apple of discord thoughts

"worst version of yourself" is kind of an overstatement bc its less that it makes you worse and more that it takes away the parts that are good, if that makes sense? it doesnt make anything, it just warps and takes from whats already there.

so with jake, he thinks those things about art and being the only one who understands/appreciates it, but hes too kind to act on those thoughts yknow? and the apple took away the kindness that kept him from acting.

with cassandra, shes interested in those practical applications with fatal outcomes, but she would never act on them, again bc of compassion and self control. the apple took that barrier away.

eve and flynn see themselves as above the others bc of their various experiences and powers, but they dont act on it bc humility and caring for their teammates, being able to recognize their skills are necessary. humility specifically in flynns case. again the apple took that away.

my theory is that it did affect ezekiel. it took something away. not sure exactly what, but im thinking something along the lines of kindness again, maybe his care for others - the thing that makes him steal for charity rather than personal gain. the reason it doesnt outwardly affect him is he already hides that part of himself. the others cant see a change, they cant see whats been taken away, bc he hides it so deep down that they cant tell its been stolen.

#anyway welcome to “maxim is obsessed with ezekiel jones again” kshlkhbsd #words from my weird little brain #the librarians #ezekiel jones #jacob stone #flynn carsen #eve baird #cassandra cillian #tl s1e5 #tl s01e05 #apple of discord

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#sometimes i feel like my brain is disintegrating in my head. coming apart like a lump of paper in a pool of water #it comes with this weird feeling of vertigo. like i turn my head and my thoughts are spinning too fast. they keep going despite my standing #still. its also a but when you start drinking something and when u stop your thoughts r hazy and ur breathing is heavy #maybe thats not a universal experience. sometimes when i stop i realize ive slipped half out of my body #and now im stumbling from day to day trying desperately to remember all the things im supposed to be managing #but there are these big holes in my brain. like im missing chunks of grey matter. the bits that would let me stop and start things #i dunno. when im taking measurements i have this image of myself on my knees holding the fragrance pieces of my life together as they #crumble thru my fingers and my insides shrivle away from the walls that contain them. i go hollow like a gord #and ppl say oh ur so passionate abt what u do. and i go brittle bc it doesnt feel like passion it feels like the symptom of an illness #i dont care. im just trying to burn the hours away. make time vanish. and for what? what am i building toward? i have an answer that i give #interviewers but i dunno i never thought id make it this far. but here we r. unhappy and lacking in purpose. its just that this last year #was so weird bc about a year ago i burned out so hard that i never recovered and it just got worse and worse. i feel now that ive stopped #the bleeding at least but the bitterness is still there. still infecting my words and curving my spine around the injury #and in theory i understand the path to healing but its hard when im just so. i dont even kno. angry? im not mad but the word feels right #but i dunno what id be angry about. maybe im just sick of empty tasks and not caring. i used to have passion and enthusiasm now i just feel #fragile and hurt. bracing for pain. and that makes me so sad. i wish i could go out into the woods and wander. just breathe #but no. instead ill start another day identical to 100 others and hope to keep my head above the surface bc im sick of swallowing sea water #anyway. itll b fine. hopefully this week i can commit to a program. hopefully. another program halfway across the country. this time #vertically. landing me still 2 time zones from home. but hopefully there i can breathe a little. maybe. hopefully. well see #unrelated

[soulsxng]

Me, trying to write these ability rundowns for the fights: This one is strong. This one is also strong! They do the fight stuff! Wild out, even!

#[What is she getting us into now? -ooc-] #(My brain is saying write things #but at the same time isn't giving me any words that I'm thinking of #like squeezing water out of a rock or something lmao) #(It's that weird sort of block where I know if I actually write something #even if it's a shitty something #it'll go away and I'll be fine #but until then it's just that weird limbo type of block where you have ideas #they're just bouncing around in your brain like they were dropped in there from a helicopter or something #and you're running around trying to catch them in a stupid little solo cup in an attempt to get something cohesive #which is as entertaining as it is annoying adlfskd)

[beeapocalypse]

worlds freakiest computer girlfriend who tells u to transition over every single problem faced

#kitty. think she had those brief couple of months w the URCR to buddy up w williams and then finds him later on after he+west-- #--defected and is like FUCK YES. the only motherfucker in existence who understands me (williams does not know about the freaky-- #--ghost nature the two share at all) #she was an incredibly tactile person in life and near everybody she interacts w in 'death' (ie the URCR not part of the tiny splinter group #--stranded in space + orbiting wests home planet now) has a chip in their brain which basically imposes sensations on them so she can-- #--keep that up. the chip is such an essential part of how she communicates w ppl (very visual on top of her words) that it feels-- #--impossible to properly convey anything to williams. cannot keep up the perfect ai assistant for very long bc of how jazzed up she is to-- #--have SOMEONE who understands her feelings just a little bit #have been thinking a lot abt sexuality in this thing for the past couple of days. it feels just a Bit too embarrassing trying-- #--to put any of it into words bc i feel like mine entire life ive not been allowed to express and discuss that sort of stuff. rendered-- #--a blank thing by my old friends and now a bit cut off from what feels like humanity as a whole. entirely founded around weird personal-- #--issues but whatever

[bumbleblurr]

I want to talk abt nightblurrbee poly but I think it's so fucking out there and so specifically constructed in my brain which makes it so so nonsensical I don't know if people can appreciate my vision as much as I do. Or even begin to comprehend it

#ok originally. i was super jazzed abt g1 night bird/bee #something abt their t4t tism really got to me. hes her little short and stout teapot boyfriend im obsessed with that concept #and then of course im like #lets throw blurbee in there it can only mean good things #which was a mistake bc my brain started turning gears about how nightb & blur would interact and its so funny and amazing Actually #like think about it #silent woman ninja robot that's not even from space #and weird nerd fast car robot that talks a lot and gets nervous easily #something something opposites attract #i think he could be her babygirl. she loves that little loser #ogh ogh. i can't even put it into words how i imagine these two #bc i mainly just went off the shits and ignored any canon continuities and just placed them in my own #anyeay the best i can think of is nightb carries him around like a bundle of grapes #🐝 could you repeat the last part? 🟦

[cool-as-steel]

[very normal grin + thumbs-up] this comic sure does have a lot of detail on the assembly (and disassembly!) of eighteenth-century garments!

#ramblings #the captain's library #<- this is the book liveblog tag from now on #christ on toast this is going to do Things to my head. probably did things to my head seven years ago also but now I have the Words #to express the things that this is doing to my head. ough. Hmmm. #dylan meconis is v. good at just showing people Existing in relation to their clothes in a way that makes me go kind of gibbery. #normally I would post excerpts but I feel a little weird doing that with a comic so I will describe it instead. #there's this one panel of luther just standing there in his shirtsleeves with his hair down and his shirt untucked #and it makes me feel some kind of way. maybe it's a gender thing maybe it's a craftmanship thing maybe it's a Regular People thing #just. Good Comic make the brain a little soupy. gotta draw a picture now perhaps and maybe.

[fooltofancy]

have finally caught up on the shoh alpha and let me just say that i am slightly desperate for someone to acknowledge how colossally fucked up and not okay this man is.

#😬 #it's not even an 'ah the consequences of my actions' situation it's just an ah you as a person were apparently made to suffer. situation. #i'm sorry robin i'm sorry #where's the 'actually no i'm Very Bad Right Now Could Someone Please Hold Me' response to are you okays #and then it's just more!!!! it's so much all of the time!!!!!!!! #weeps in vagueblogging #at least when i do something in character creation i know is gonna brutally maul my child later it's usually funny #like. he's got semi-balanced magic stats from just devouring everything he can get his grimy little hands on #EXCEPT for psionic magic lmao #just uncomfy!!!! he's got so much guilt in his average sized body there's absolutely no fucking room for even touching weird brain things #like nah #he's used TWO words of power. one from the prologue and one for the landsmeet lmao EVERYTHING ELSE HE HAS TANKED WITH MAGIC AND WON #Just One Colossal Weakness And Unfortunately It's Important #like EXCELLENT pain okay but also. ): ow. my boy. #he is not having a nice time!!!!!!!!!!!!! #magical nuke w a very potent offswitch #lies down #i'm going to go grind more gathering since i'm already suffering