#without any regards for my own

[friendlifyre]

i cant tell if its the autism tm that skews my perception or if ive just really been through enough shit these past few years that my emotional maturity is now explicitly above average

#personal #seeing people who clearly want and need help be all cryptic about how they feel and making it like pulling teeth to communicate with them #makes me wanna tear my hair out #I Am Here For You !!!!! just Talk to me !!!!!!!! god #trying to leave every figurative ball in their court but they just dismiss it and then act like im the one who didnt try #its so reminiscent of my last job where i always had to be the one bending myself over backwards to accommodate the other party #im getting anxious just thinking about it knowing where that led me after months and months of caving in to the other's needs #without any regards for my own #really trying to will myself not to go down that path but its hard when i care #and i Know if i did reach out and compromise myself to be accommodating it would Work #but goddammit i cant always be the bigger person !!! please !!! cut me some slack sometimes !!!! meet me halfway !!!! im trying dammit

[rhymaes]

Mysterious Lotus Casebook // Anne Carson, Autobiography of Red

(continuation of x)

#and YES I USED THE SAME PIC TO BEGIN HIS. BECAUSE WHERE HIS STORY BEGINS #IS WHERE LI LIANHUA’S ENDS AND GOD. HE THOUGHT THEY HAD FOREVER #fang duobing’s turn because time is rushing toward them!!! and he believed they had it and then didn’t and then did again #and then it’s—all gone. like a light snuffed out. there is always a dark darker than the dark you know #and what li lianhua believed he was freeing fang duobing from is what he will spend the rest of his life mourning #& it’s. you have enough time. and then you don’t. and then you do because he told you so and you wanted to believe him even after everything #so you did. and oh. it was so much worse to think you could have it. that you had it together. and then finding he knew it was never a #possibility to begin with because he exchanged his death for your life but he doesn’t understand he wrote the eulogy you will roam the wide #world with for the rest of your life without him #just. holy shit. it’s a cruelty that li lianhua truly does not believe is cruel. he believes it’s a blessing. and it’s the worst thing #fang duobing has ever experienced—not his father not his illness nor his run away marriage or obligation as a young master he hates—its this #ANYWAY. yeah. yeah. finished the book today so natural I had to take the last quote completely out of context for my own selfish reading for #them bc what can I say I’m a selfish reader in any regard #mysterious lotus casebook #fang duobing #li lianhua #li xiangyi #di feisheng

[viovio]

took a funger soul type quiz and picked choices I thought long and real hard about for an oc I've already assigned as endless and got the endless result 😎

#ajax rebane | the informant i wont u #speak iza #before i was in the process of writing him i thought to make him tainted because he really is just a tool for corrupt forces to infiltrate- #-any space without regard for him as a person. forced into this life #but i reconsidered mainly bc of his skillset (hes an informant who mainly gathers by getting people comfortable around him and smoothtalking #and has to move to a lot of places) and that hes basically in an endless loop of quests and twisting peoples wrists behind their backs to- #disarm and escape. he grits his teeth in this other endless pursuit of escape that he'll make it out someday through his own means #man i should like post the options later and explain why #also love assigning my other ocs in the other options its fun

[wonder-worker]

people really do not know what they're talking about when it comes to Elizabeth Woodville's social status, huh?

#yes Elizabeth was without a doubt considered too low-born to be queen #no she was not a commoner and nobody actually called her that during her life (so I'm not sure why people are claiming that they did?) #Elizabeth's social status was not a problem in itself; it was a problem in the context of queenship and marrying into royalty #Context is important in this and for literally everything else when it comes to analyzing history. Any discussion is worthless without it. #obviously pop culture-esque articles claiming that she was 'a commoner who captured the king's heart' are wrong; she wasn't #But emphasizing that ACTUALLY she was part of the gentry with a well-born mother and just leaving it at that as some sort of “GOTCHA!” #is equally if not more irresponsible and entirely irrelevant to discussions of the actual time period we're studying. #Elizabeth *was* considered unworthy and unacceptable as queen precisely because of her lower social status #her father and brother had literally been derided as social-climbers by Salisbury Warwick and Edward himself just a few years earlier #the Woodvilles' marriage prospects clearly reflected their status (and 'place') in society: EW herself had first married a knight and all #siblings married within the gentry to people of a similar status. compare that to the prestigious marriages arranged after EW became queen #Elizabeth having a lower social status was not 'created' by propaganda against her; it fueled and shaped propaganda against her #that's a huge huge difference; it's irresponsible and silly to conflate the two as I've seen a recent tumblr post cavalierly do #like I said she was considered too low-born to be queen long before any of the propaganda Warwick Clarence or Richard put out against her #and the fact that Elizabeth was targeted on the basis of her social status was in itself novel and unprecedented #no queen before her was ever targeted in such a manner; Clearly Elizabeth was considered notably 'different' in that regard #(and was quite literally framed as the enemy and destroyer of 'the old royal blood of this realm' and all its actual 'inheritors' like..) #ngl this sort of discussion always leaves a bad taste in my mouth #because it's not like England and France (et all) are at war or consider each other mortal enemies in the 21st century #both are in fact western european imperialistic nations who've been nothing but a blight to the rest of the world including my own country #yet academic historians clearly have no problem contextualizing the xenophobia that medieval foreign queens faced as products of their time #and sympathizing with them accordingly (Eleanor of Provence; Joan of Navarre; Margaret of Anjou; etc)(at least by their own historians) #Nor were foreign queens the “worst” targets of xenophobia: that was their attendants or in times of war commoners or soldiers #who actually had to bear the brunt of English aggression #queens were ultimately protected and guaranteed at least a veneer of dignity and respect because of their royal status #yet once again historians and people have no problem contextualizing and understanding their difficulties regardless of all this #so what is the problem with contextualizing the classism *Elizabeth* faced and understanding *her* difficulties? #why is the prejudice against her constantly diminished & downplayed? (Ive never even seen any historian directly refer to it as 'classism') #after all it was *Elizabeth* who was more vulnerable than any queen before her due to her lack of powerful foreign or national support #and Elizabeth who faced a form of propaganda distinctly unprecedented for queens. it SHOULD be emphasized more.

[aeide-thea]

like 97% of the time i don't mind being a sexless gremlin bc it's almost like passing as genderless but there is that remaining pesky 3% where i'm like. hm wish i believed it were possible that anyone could find me sexy tho

#gender failure in both directions babey 🤘 #(also like. a lot of what i'm working with i can at least find Human Beauty in but when it comes 2 the ugly lil tits… it's hard) #(honestly i don't even know what i'd want in that regard. like if i try to think abt it it's just like. black censorship box over that area #(like probably 'less' but. what does that mean. in a lot of ways i feel like my ideal body was my own prepubescent body) #(but like. how do you translate that into any semblance of adult) #(anyway. love 2 have the same bad feelings for years without resolving them in any way!) #feelingsblogging

[i-bring-crack]

Jinhae Exes AU not in the "ones of us cheated" or "it was all a big misunderstanding that separated us" kind of way.

But in the "one of us realized the world is significantly different than what we were thought to believe and now we are fighting in different sides of the war and I still love you but I think I'm right in this ideology game and just want the other to understand and come back please—"

#i just remembered i also had that idea before in a oneshot wip #never truly finished even though it was going to be hella fun #i also kinda made the fic be platonic in ao3 rather than romantic #i mean i like my jinhae #but #platonic AND soulmates AND m/f friendships are just 'MA HEART' #anyways the whole love wouldnt have been different. #like they still love each other minus the kissing and secc #Anyways the plot was about Haein recovering her memories of the past timeline and looking for jinwoo in order to help him defeat the #denizens of chaos aka beasts and their monarchs or just the monarch and their armies #Jinwoo wasnt looking for any help but was kinda lonely that he just kindof accepted the company from Haein and gave her a system on her own #so that she too could become just as strong as her. At this point they also like 'know'they both like each other bc they both did go on a #date but they never truly met one another so they do have a crush but they decide to take it slow and just become friends first. I mean they #have literally have 27 years in this world to spend so might as well try to know each other first. #Haein isnt quick to open up about her problems tho and neither is Jinwoo quick to say ALL that he suffered for the past 4 years as a hunter #including the system's mess #so they often explore more about the world and talk about the monsters than their problems first #That is until Haein is like 19. both have passed like 6 years toguether only trying to find where the monarchs are hi #hidding as well as destroying possible civilizations that could be useful inside the shadow army. #most of the beasts are agreesive towards them too so they kill them without any regards. #and then they finally get to find the first intelligent beings in this world. The demon race. Haein already from the name alone knows they #(also yes the demon race is still alive in this AU) #but jinwoo stops her and she is just huh? we arent killing these demons? #'nope we are killing all of them except this clan' #and Haein obeys but. like. is so confused. #hen when the radir family throws them a banquet. pretty things and events happen and Haein gets the chance to talk to Esil who in turn is #very chatty so she gets to hear a lot about the story of demons and their lives outside of it. #solo leveling #jinhae

[secondwhisper]

I'm currently attending a training on accommodating pedestrians in road work zones. It's really interesting to see how (ADA-compliant) accessible pedestrian infrastructure implementation is discussed in professional engineering spaces (as opposed to general disability spaces).

We have three groups of disabled road (+sidewalk) users that we must focus on design for: visually impaired & blind pedestrians, mobility impaired pedestrians, and cognitively impaired pedestrians. In this context, mobility impairments also include walking unsteadily, slowly, or with low endurance/stamina.

Generally, we must aim to provide the following accommodations for disabled pedestrians. For the visually impaired: high-contrast signage & markings, ground-level channelization as a "shoreline", a smooth and level walking surface, no protruding objects, smooth and stable hand guides / railings, and auditory and tactile guides at crossings or other complex maneuvers. For the mobility impaired: no protruding objects, no side barriers that could interfere with manual wheelchair or crutch use, a smooth level and grippy walking surface, smooth and stable hand guides / railings, and "refuges" on particularly long routes. For the cognitively impaired: high-contrast signage & markings that are clean and concise, arrows that point in exactly the correct direction, and channelization that reduces opportunities for someone to accidentally end up in a traffic lane.

We see some similarities across access needs: clear signage / guidance, barriers or other channelization to make wayfinding easier, no protruding objects, smooth and stable surfaces.

There's also one very glaring conflict in access needs: channelization. Barriers that reach the ground, and barriers with railings, help blind & visually impaired pedestrians move in the correct direction with confidence. Barriers to channelize the pedestrian detour path help cognitively impaired pedestrians keep within pedestrian zones and move confidently to the end of the detour. Barriers with railings can provide support for unsteady and fatigued pedestrians. But barriers at the edge of the pedestrian route give cane, crutch, and wheelchair users just one more thing to whack their knuckles, elbows, and devices on, and can reduce their ability to turn or recenter themselves, along with removing the ability of able-bodied pedestrians to get out of their way in narrow places.

I don't have some kind of big conclusion here, I just thought it was interesting to see that cognitively disabled pedestrians are included among those whom sidewalk closures can affect uniquely negatively, and to see a frank discussion of how not everyone with vision & mobility disabilities are helped by each other's accommodations. Within the broader context of "work zones are super inaccessible we have to start doing it right."

#civil engineering #civil stuff #my own post wow #accessible design #just to be clear im not blaming conflicting access needs for inaccessible ped infrastructure #the vast majority of inaccessibility is the design being done without any regard for disabled pedestrians at all #curb ramps and ped channelization: have pros and cons for accessibility #replacing damaged/graffitied signs and repainting faded crosswalks: not complicated! #making sidewalks seven feet wide so two wheelchair users can travel past each other: also not complicated! #also: none of this talk included *visibility over barriers* for children/Little People/wheelchair users/others with lower-than-average eyes #which imo is a rather significant oversight #or. multilingual/symbolic signage? #ill stop going on tangents now. #anyway just imagine the higher standards wed have if we had not just the ada but also prowag! #prowag is currently opt-in which is fucking meaningless. embarrassing.

[siena-sevenwits]

.

#Maybe 84 Charing Cross Road had too strong an effect on me. As I turn my head this way and that #trying to figure out what I shall do with myself when the semester is over and ties are cut with the school I've been teaching for this pas #decade #it occurs to me that I might go - hat in hand as it were - to the old bookseller who runs my favourite used bookstore of all time. #The shop has the most wonderfully curated selection. The first time I walked in there #having been used to the used book section in value village #I almost had my breath taken away #I have to be careful not to go there too often because I am weak for spending money on books #but every Christmas I go and buy a ton as presents and usually something for myself #and I ask the owner if I can start a stack on his counter while I shop and he is always happy and comments on my finds as I bring them #He is kind and conversational on those occasions #My mom once struck up a long conversation with him when we were there together #and learned how he has owned that shop forty years or so and does not have an assistant because he's always managed on his own #And last night as I tried to fall asleep I got ridiculously ahead of myself and imagined the possibilities of employment there in #the detail of a novel without much regard for the probable realities - the realities that he has given no sign of wanting to hire and #having gone so far without an assistant probably doesn't want one #that there would be sides to the job which would likely be dreary #and that as with any job there would be all kinds of difficulties #BUT I often need these romantic imaginings to spur me on to take any kind of action. So - this might be silly - but I am thinking of doing #things the old fashioned way - of going round to the shop rather than emailing him - and asking if there is any chance that there might #be opportunities for work. It will likely all come to nothing and I'll keep looking #but I'll at least make a memory of having tried.

[hella1975]

anyway in regards to my last post this is all to say that if i moved to a foreign country and shared a nice apartment with my mutuals where we did boring errands together and listened to nice music and danced barefeet then everything would be okay i think

#only recently discovering how much shame i internalised in regards to my writing #like genuinely think i have more internalised shame around my writing than i do being gay LMAO #there's a reason for it too shit went down when i was twelve and i connected it to my writing even though it kinda didnt have anything to #do with that it was just me using it as a coping mechanism again but ofc at that age i didnt know that's what it was #so for a good few years it was just 'WRITING BAD' like i fully didnt even have a laptop for those years i did not write a single word #idk why i thought i could just pick it up again without any residual issues towards writing #like even when boom and hannah were here or when im talking to my one irl that songwrites about writing #i just feel so genuinely uncomfortable like someone's about to do a 'gotcha!' moment on me #it's just something that feels like it needs to be a big dirty secret and that combined with my hometown vibes is just sooo stinky #but yh i realised how nice it was just having people i could just authentically get excited about writing with #like telling people about plot points or twists and having them be like !!!! omg !!!! like i want to surround myself with those people!! #i want to be brave enough and comfortable enough that i try and publish my shit regardless of what my hometown is saying!!! #and i will be one day i have faith in my own stubbornness and spite if nothing else #that my hatred of this town will overrule my fear of it #but for now it's just a very shit time lol #one day grown up hella will be buying apples with hannah and boom and we'll be talking about our wips in the shop #where anyone can hear us and on that day i'll stop and give a moment to baby hella who was so scared and ashamed #and i'll smile a little. and then i'll ram the trolley into hannah's ankles just for a laugh and i'll forget all about it

[queerloquial]

it turns out if you get bare minimum sleep for enough nights in a row and then doomscroll tumblr disability discourse for a few hours at 5 am you unlock the shrimp color variant of anxiety

#misc tag #dad bought the wrong melatonin brand and it went stale before i even opened the bottle #so now im basically just eating normal fruit gummies every night for the next month #anyway idk what i qualify as in any given discussion bc i have no way of determining #whether im understating my experiences or placing myself in groups i dont belong to and am not welcome in #if im ''disabled only on a technicality'' does that imply discrediting the experiences of other autistics #what even Are my experiences in regards to the non/semi/fully verbal/speaking discussion #if i cant relate to most of the complaints of ''my own'' community do i really have a place there #is it a bad thing to have experiences others dont relate to #cringe culture is dead and its cool to care about things except no not like that or not those things #do i actually have any problems or do i just exaggerate things in an attempt to gain sympathy #do i do enough to support my friends or do i just want the reward of companionship without doing any work #what am i going to be doing with myself in ten or twenty years time #guess what its 830 am and ive been staring at the wall for 6 hours

[alphalesbian]

.

#its like every now and again i am brought down by a terrible loneliness and am forced to remind myself i have in fact more or less #been alone in some sense of the word for more than a few years now theres been such incredible lengths of my lived adulthood where ive #been to deal with everything on my plate entirely by myself for the most part. not to say that i have been like Alone ive kept busy and all #but sometimes i have to remind myself its been years and years since ive had what i would call even some kind of community. and its a #necessary pain to reflect that That is probably why routinely i am completely leveled by some loneliness. this goes of course without sayin #a lot of this is circumstance why i would maybe end up so alone but the reality is im often the only one who gets me im often the only ear #can open up to im often the only one there to catch myself slipping the only one there to take care of myself when im hurting or sick or #tired. and its not that i dont ask for help. something something circumstance where i dont get it from other people #hardly a thing worth stopping myself over but the moments where i have to pick myself up by my own bootstraps for the nth time completely i #the dark by myself its hard not to feel small. looked past. even though im really doing quite okay all things considered. still quite #unfortunately alone and equally isolated and drained of any energy to change this or get out and find community (if i had the space and #the time and the money of course dont forget about the money) #and at the deepest reaches of this feeling i can only see cosmically that this is what im supposed to be doing. to some strange effect that #I Am at least on the right path as tucked away small and hidden and invisible as this may make me feel. bc its never a hard contrast to mak #that if i did have the ability to truly embrace and make a change in that regard would i? would i do it right? could i keep it? where would #that take me? and of course the answer is in this state id just fumble it. and be right back here #when do i get to have that fire in my hands unequivocally where i may finally furiously rid myself of this isolation this loneliness either #forever or long enough to make the change from this lack of connection and community i truly have?

[scattered-winter]

ok. this might be slightly insane but uhh...how do you feel about doing all 4 pevensie kids (or however many of your choosing) for character bingo? i know they're probably not, like, blorbo status but your narnia posting around thanksgiving made me think of them. (if not them, i propose: owen bc your owen rants delight me, and judd bc. judd <333)

AKSJLDFKSHDGISLRIJSKHG UR SOOOO VALID ACTUALLY !!! i'm gonna do them all <333 because i want to <333 i've actually never read the narnia books so these are all the movie kids <3

lucy, edmund, susan, peter <3 you've awakened something in me <33

everything on this is derogatory <3 i have a rich inner world where owen is a genuinely interesting character with a genuinely interesting narrative but i also don't give a fuck about him so i'm probably never gonna talk about it <3

judd <333333333 my beloved <33333333333333 the only wrong thing he's ever done is support owen in any way shape or form and that's just down to the writing constantly propping owen up and so i choose to ignore it all <3

#someday we need to have a conversation about how the characters in lone star aren't allowed to have any stories/arcs of their own #without it revolving around owen somehow #like. i know there are a few non owen-centric arcs but they're all so so so minor and are resolved within the episode #but GOD. it's so frustrating when the characters act ooc in order to make owen look good #like. they constantly prop him up as Their Leader The Captain The Best Man Ever even though he's canonically. done some shit. #and he's just obnoxious as hell. #and idk. owen's continued Main Character Disease is an act of hatred towards me specifically #but god. GOD. the narratives that could be possible if they let other characters take the limelight. if owen wasn't front and center #every goddamn episode. #JUST around owen himself!!! he would be so much more interesting if they just!! gave it a REST!! #the arc in s3 where he came to terms with his trauma regarding being on the front lines of 9/11???????? #that would have been SUCH a compelling arc !! but by the time i got there i was soooo fed up with every single thing #being about owen in a show that's supposed to be driven by an ensemble cast. #i was SO frustrated by all the owen bullshit that when they had a genuinely good storyline for him it just flew over my head #because it was Just Another Owen Centric Thing. #idk if im making sense im tired and fed up with owen's shit #i've been wanting to rewatch lone star for the longest time but im putting it off because i dont wanna have to deal with owen again lmao #pros: carlos and marjan and judd and tk and mateo and paul and nancy and tommy and michelle and billy and all the amazing characters i love #cons: OWEN'S ANNOYING BLAND BITCH ASS #anyway. anyway #leo 🌻 #i looooove peter pevensie so much he's so <33 #the way he tries so hard to keep his siblings safe in the first movie ???? when he doesn't know what's going on ???? god. #its the siblings in media that always fuck me up #and edmund is just a little shit (affectionate) #i'd beat him up on the grounds that he reminds me of my little brother. which is reason enough <3 #susan <3333 i love a smartass <3333 #and lucy is just. so sweet. and hopeful. i <3333

[dyketubbo]

i used to be really into the love is what makes the world go round type posts but now that ive realized a lot of that was because i was trying to Make Up for being aspec all those posts just feel so bitter to me now

#dont come to me w that 'well not all love is romantic <3' stuff like yeah obviously #but the only people i really feel comfortable saying i love is my bio family and.. even that is really complicated #i never really know when the last straw will be. i dont feel comfortable saying my world revolves around love #when a lot of the people i said i loved and who love/loved me have hurt me deeply in ways i may not recover from #and overall with how thats tainted it for me + how i want to stop trying to Make Up for not feeling romantic love by claiming- #-love is everywhere i love my friends the kind strangers on the street yada yada etc etc #..idk. i think what makes us human is just that we are human. we would still be human even if none of us felt love #i guess i just want to be able to reclaim love without it being forced on me even from my own community #i dont want to be told love is what makes me human because then that ultimately still perpetuates the fact that #if i say i dont feel love people will start seeing me as lesser and subhuman. and thats still fucked up even if it isnt about romantic love #i *care* about my friends. i have basic compassion for the strangers around me and i help them out because its the right thing to do #it makes me feel good but it doesnt make me feel love bc to me thats either my very specific feelings towards my family #or a very abstract concept that doesnt really mean anything without any of societys pressures regarding it #mask mews #loveless aro #personal #but ok to rb

[strwbrymlkshake]

so upset and disgusted my stomach hurty </3

#mine #💿 #im not upset bc of him im upset bc of something else but i wanna rant abt him anyways #he isnt good at holding conversations w me but tried to cheer me up which is nice. an attempt was made #im being less of a weirdo freak around him and distancing more ?? which is good i suppose #i love yandere culture and everything but i only want a yandere relationship thats not based on exploiting weaknesses #like a thing where each partner consents to whatever non traditional act etc. none of this weird stuff #the thing im upset about is sort of regarding my views abt it but not a ref to anything on here ugugugghrg #i dont understand why thered be people who want to see the light of their life in pain and hurting. its about worship and adoration #and treating your love like the object nearest to your heart. like an extension of you. not fucking abusing them #not abusing those who cant do anything for themselves. who cant fight back. who dont have the slightest idea #dont drag people into your sick fantasy just because it gets you off usdhwkffjdkgke im seething rn #anyway i tagged this abt my cd guy so i will continue to talk abt him. when he was messaging me i was very happy #i was so happy i could make him laugh and his happiness made me happy<3 but like literally i cant trust anyone anymore #i know one person cant take care of all my problems but i feel like they could contribute a little more. instead of ignoring me #idk maybe im being weird and everyone acknowledges me a normal amount.. i have irreversible damage in my brain<3 #im being good about not obsessing. having other interests and goals. having a LIFE on my own without craving him everyday #i dont know if im doing it purposefully though or im just afraid. i know i am afraid but is that the only reason? i really am trying #i feel so heartbroken the way i felt more love when a cashier was being nicer to me than almost any of my friends #im like oh ill get doxxed writing that. but i dont think anyone is paying enough attention or cares enough to find me out anyway. #i will settle for second best even if it means they simply regard me positively :( i want to be liked so so badly. just for who i am #not anything like talents or appearance. just me. why doesnt anyone desire me for who i am? maybe its because who i am isnt the best yet #but i want to be loved even if im not the greatest and i dont think thats too much to ask. i want to be loved the way all humans love #but there isnt much of that any more. or if there is they sure have a funny way of showing it. im not supposed to rely on people for things #like this. but i cant just keep telling MYSELF i accept me. that i love me. because i know this already. im fine with me. but no one else #is. ive submitted to the ordeal of being known. to being vulnerable. to pouring my heart out. but everyone who touches it is filthy. #ive fixed myself to the best of my ability yet why am i not being taken notice of. i make myself look nice everyday. what does it take #its so sickening that its hard to find a kind person in the world. you ignore me. i was going to go great lengths to get you a present too #i was gna try so hard but its so easy for you to not try at all. oh well i cant cntrol others i can only sit being tormented by thr actions #i cant work hard enough to make you care about persevering. to not be indifferent. to not be boring. to not be neglectful

[fingertipsmp3]

Do I have to add ‘thinspo blogs dni’ to my header now. Is that something I have to do

#i thought that would go without saying. especially since it was a post where i specifically talked about how i eat a lot #&i love unhealthy food in the tags of said post #y’know what i said i wasn’t going to rant about this but actually i am. i hate these bitches #do what you want on your own blogs because you’re going to anyway & frankly if you’ve got as far as labelling yourself #as having a specific ED then you’re aware of exactly what you’re doing & at least some of the risks behind it & you’re certainly not going #to listen to a random 26 year old on the internet who says ‘hey i’ve been there before. cut it out’ #but for god’s sake. #actually READING the tags of the post you liked or even looking at my blog and any other posts will show you I AM NOT A TH/NSP0 BLOG #SO DON’T FUCKING INTERACT WITH ME. do not bring your shit over here!!!! especially when the pinned post on your blog #is some really triggering shit #these bitches have no respect or regard for boundaries anyway so i’m not going to bother putting this in my header bc i know it’d do no good #but for real. this is why i’ve been trying to go a little lighter on tags lately #since leaving a lot of tags seems to attract weird people who search for stuff i didn’t realise people would search for #but god i’m so mad about this i just had to #maybe i’ll pin this lol. fuck it. never thought i’d make a DNI but apparently SOME people just can’t let me be a fat bitch in peace #personal #rant

[fideidefenswhore]

Consideration for the Princess Mary is thought to have been one of Jane's uppermost [concerns] as she moved into her role as consort, but whether it was simply political or indeed sincere is another question. She apparently approached the subject with Henry just prior to Anne's arrest: 'Mistress Semel [...] suggested that the princess should be placed in her former position; and the king told her she was a fool, and ought to  solicit the advancement of the children they would have between them, and not any others. She replied that in asking for the restoration of the Princess she conceived she was seeking the rest and tranquility of the king, herself, her future children and the whole realm; for, without that, neither [Charles V] nor [the English] people would ever be content.' Her concern for Mary may [well] have been genuine, but her timing was impeccable. She safely voiced her concern surrounded by her family and friends at court who opposed the Boleyns. What is interesting in this exchange is the speculation of Jane's motives, combined with the king's reaction: he defined the role he expected her to fit into, in this case, he gave clear indication that she should concern herself with the business of the children she would have with him, not any other. Politics aside, she was expected to produce an heir and focus her attention on the dynastic issue of her future family. At the very least, Henry had convinced himself that there would be children between them and sought to remove her from any central political role to that of consort and mother. Jane was a hope for the future, but Henry set out immediately placing a definition on where her concerns should be and what his expectations obviously were.

Jane, The Quene (Pamela M. Gross)

#the 'them and not any others' would suggest he already had a firmly set mind for how the near-future parliamentary succession act was #going to shape out #also. there wasn't a coup against edward vi. so it would seem she was ; actually; wrong (something not brought up much) #(at least in regards to her future children; that is) #and. frankly. in regards to charles v as well. charles v made an alliance with henry without that. henry well had the measure of that. #(one kind of wonders if her own source for that was chapuys himself. or one of his points of connection/ sources at court thirdhand ) #although if his reign had been longer #...who is to say. maybe there would have been one backed by mary. but i think the idea of mary is that she honored henry viii's final #succession act/ will too much to have ever done that (which...eh. she did and she didn't. she certainly didn't wed with parliament's #consent. so) #nor keep her status unchanged re: legitimacy #i don't really believe in weir's theory but the confidence of 'the children they would have between them'... hm. maybe they had consummated #the relationship before marriage? because it almost sounds like he believes on is on its way #*1 #i've outlined that for one of my fics just bcus i think it's more fictionally interesting. whocan really know #i know a lot is made of how so many of his marriages ended (for obvious reasons) but man is this not a particularly romantic beginning #and i don't even mean anne's arrest (altho . clearly that too) #but already calling her a 'fool' ? damn. maybe she had already accepted the proposal or maybe he was letting her know in no unsubtle terms #that he could always make another choice...since officially the betrothal date isn't until may 20 #could do without the woobification of this marriage tbh! hirst and weir i am looking at you's