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its-jaytothemee · 20 days

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Until I Met You - Chapter 20

Chapter 20: The Looming Shadows

Pairings: Halsin x Tav

Word count: 4,602

Rating: Currently M, will be Explicit in later chapters.

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Summary: Halsin and Tav must face the fact that they are returning to Moonrise. Tav sees the shadow curse again in her dreams, Halsin struggles to deal with the guilt and responsibility of their next steps. Part 20 of the slow burn fic. Tav and Halsin POVs.

Tags: Slow burn, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual love confessions, eventual smut, angst, implied past rape/non-con and abuse, graphic description of injuries, brief suicidal thoughts.

A/N: Just gonna go ahead and post this tonight to take my mind off the tornado warnings buzzing on my phone every 5 minutes. Have some more tooth rotting sweetness to finish out act 1 <3. I hope you've enjoyed so far! I've loved seeing the lovely comments and support for my writing. Next chapter will start the act 2 part of the story and oooooohhhh boy am I excited. Might be a little longer before I post another chapter as I outline and get more of my playthrough completed :)

Tav’s nerves wouldn’t allow her a restful meditation. The darkness of the Underdark twisted around her, dragging her back to the day she saw the shadow curse unleashed.

Tav’ahria and her team had just broken through the first rank of Dark Justiciars. The battlefield around her was a storm of blood, swords, and arrows. Each time she aimed her bow, she was careful to look for the silver pin of the Harpers, the symbol that identified her allies. Most of the Sharrans were easy to single out, their heavy and ornate armor stood out against the simple leathers favored by Ria and her team. Despite the Justiciars’ skill in battle, the Harpers and druids around her had pushed them back. From what they learned in their last report, Ketheric Thorm had fallen, yet his loyal followers continued to fight.

She had just arrived at the front lines a few days before, her squad was called from Amn to join the fight. Her brother, Tev’aron, had been here for weeks, fighting under command of the High Harper herself. Ria had never met Jaheira, but her reputation was well known to her long before she left the confines of Baldur’s Gate.

A wave of cheers and battle cries sounded as Thorm’s forces began their retreat. Ria and her allies did not let up. Arrows still soared through the air, finding their way between the slats in the Sharran armor. The clanging sound of crossed swords rang around her. But something wasn’t right, the Sharrans here outnumbered their squad, why would they run when they had the clear advantage?

She felt the shadows long before she saw them. A bitter feeling came over her like a cursed blanket, sapping all warmth from her body. She let out an uneasy breath and the air from her lungs puffed out in a small cloud in front of her.

“Fall back.” Her voice was quieter than she intended, suddenly petrified by the dark magic she felt moving towards her.

“What? We have them on the run, we must press our attack!” A young tiefling woman yelled back to her, sword still raised high.

“No…this is a trick. Something’s coming…” Ria frantically scanned the wilderness around them, trying to find a source. Her eyes widened in horror as they fell on the horizon just past Reithwin.

An unnatural dark mist was gathering and lifting into the sky. Cascading over the buildings in town, falling to the ground like thick currents of molasses. Growing ever taller, Ria feared this was a darkness that would soon consume all of those across the battlefield.

“Run.” She turned to the other Harpers around her. “Run!” She screamed the second time.

Grabbing the hand of the young tiefling woman behind her, she pulled her along as they sprinted in the opposite direction of Moonrise Towers. A paranormal screech rang across the sky, the sound pierced her eardrums like a thousand tiny needles. She spared one glance over her shoulder, immediately regretting the decision.

A wall of darkness was chasing after them, enveloping all in its path. She could hear screams from far behind her – Sharrans, Harpers, and druids alike.

“Keep running! Do not stop until you can’t run anymore!” She shouted at those around her, desperate to keep them ahead of the horrible magic nipping at their heels. When she looked up to the sky, the sun was blacked out almost entirely and the wall of shadows hadn’t even made it to them yet. There was no way they could outrun whatever it was that had been unleashed here.

“Ria! Stay close to me.” A young dwarf, Helida, called out beside her, one of their faithful clerics of Selûne. She cast a light spell on the staff she carried causing a small dome of moonlight to rise around them. The other clerics around her seemed to follow her lead, she could see multiple little bubbles of light popping up as the darkness began to catch up to them.

“Keep near the clerics! Find any source of light you can!” Ria shouted, trying to make her words known to as many people as possible.

Before she knew it, the wall of shadows descended on their retreating forces. Despite the fact it was comprised of mist and darkness, the magic was like a brick wall being slammed into her. Most of them were knocked off their feet. Ria watched, helpless, as many of the pockets of light went out around them, the clerics’ concentration disrupted by the dark magic. Tears stung her eyes as she worked to catch the breath that had been knocked from her lungs. The young dwarf with them was still standing, leaning heavily on her glowing spear for support.

“We have to keep moving…” Ria managed to wheeze the words out, favoring a likely cracked rib or two. She cast a quick healing spell to ease some of the pain, she couldn’t spare the time to fully recover.

Their small group stayed huddled against their cleric, trying to keep her protected from the strange shadowy beings that had now appeared around them. Just past their little bubble of light, cursed corpses growled and thrashed at them. She didn’t know how long they ran, the darkness around them was so thick they had no way of knowing which direction they were headed. As they made their way towards the edge of the eerie nightfall, she could feel the weight of it getting lighter and lighter. It must have taken the rest of the day to find their way out. By the time they finally emerged from the shadows, the sun had set, and the moon shone high in the sky. She pushed them on a little further, unsure of how far the curse’s effects would reach.

Finally, the Helida collapsed to the ground, utterly exhausted. The light radiating from her spear faded away as she gasped for air.

“I…I can’t go on…” Her hands were shaking, sweat soaked the strands of hair falling around her face.

Tav’ahria nodded in response, helping move her towards a nearby tree to lean against. The rest of their small group followed suit, desperately trying to catch their breath. She looked around at the frightened faces, confusion and shock evident in all of them.

So few…

“Does…does this mean we failed?” A dark-haired man sat in the grass next to the dwarf, scratches lined his face and neck. “Did Thorm claim victory this day?”

“I don’t think anyone can claim victory today.” Tav shuddered as she thought of the Dark Justiciars that also fell to the darkness, how many were sacrificed in the name of their terrible goddess.

“Except perhaps Shar herself.” Helida still leaned against the tree, panting to try and catch her breath.

Shar’s vindictiveness and scorn knew no rival. An entire land, destroyed, simply because they dared to worship her sister. How many innocent lives had been lost in the eternal struggle between Selûne and Shar? How many more had yet to be lost?

She took a moment to heal herself further, giving her the chance to check on the others around them. Her eyes constantly checked the massive shadowy barrier, hoping and pleading to any god who would listen that someone, anyone would follow them out. Her prayers went unanswered. They waited for hours, no others came, allies or Sharrans.

“There’s a Harper safe house not far from here.” The young tiefling she had seen before was speaking. “We should wait there for any other survivors.”

They all nodded in agreement and began to make their way around the now shadow-cursed lands of Moonrise. Her mind wandered to Tev; she had no idea where he was in the fight. All she could do was hope that he had made it out another way and that he was working to find his way back to her.

Tav awoke in a puddle of her own sweat. Tears soaked her face and hair after reliving that fateful day at Moonrise. For the most part, she had pushed the memory from her mind, keeping it locked away behind wall after wall.

But tomorrow, she was going back.

Gods, how were they going to do this? The cultists had been using something called a moonlantern to pass through the land, but the ones they managed to recover were broken and useless. Lunari stirred awake beside her, gently bumping her with her muzzle.

“Scared?” The wolf looked up through her amber eyes.

“Yes, tomorrow will bring many new dangers.” She scratched her ears, thankful for her comforting nudges.

“We face many dangers. We are strong.” She breathed out a soft whine and laid her head in Tav’s lap.

“You must promise me you’ll stay close when we leave in the morning. Do not go wandering into the darkness.”

“Yes, I stay close to you and our new friends.”

“Good girl.” She buried her face in Lunari’s neck.

She dug into her pack, pulling out a small silver pin buried at the bottom. It depicted a small harp nestled inside of a crescent moon, a guiding star hovering above it.

The symbol of the Harpers.

The silver had tarnished over the years. She wasn’t sure why she had even kept it, she hadn’t been a Harper in almost a century. Still, seeing the small trinket comforted her, especially since they found out that there may be Harpers waiting for them at Last Light Inn. Maybe they had found survivors…maybe they had found…

No, don’t do this to yourself.

They didn’t know where these Harpers came from, or if they were even waiting for them. No need to get her hopes up yet. She palmed the pin and wrapped her fingers around it in a tight fist. After wiping the excess sweat from her skin, she stood up to stretch and take a few deep breaths. Her eyes flashed to the entrance of her tent. It was still early, she hadn’t been in a trance for long. She chewed the inside of her cheek for a moment while she decided whether she could go find Halsin yet. Their morning talks had been a lifesaver for her, having someone to just sit with and talk through her day, someone to watch the fire with in comfortable silence, a shoulder to lean on.

Tav peeked between the flaps that hung in the front of her tent. Halsin sat by the fire, as usual. He definitely looked awake, and restless. She smiled at the sight, it meant they could maybe have even more time together this morning.

***

Halsin found himself unable to rest. He could hardly believe it – his companions had ventured into the Sharran fortress and found the path to Moonrise Towers. The stronghold was cleared out, and they would be moving on to the next step of their journey first thing in the morning. He was going back to the shadow cursed lands. This was his chance, the chance he had awaited for so long.

He closed his eyes, trying to calm his anxiety. His mind was racing, every emotion he had suppressed over the last century came over him in waves, threatening to drown him.

Rage. Fear. Guilt. Shame. Regret. Grief. Dread. Numbness. Panic. Darkness.

Every meditation met with silence came rushing forward, reminding him of his failure. Reminding him that Thaniel remained a hostage of the curse, or worse. The thought of his friend’s imprisonment in such a dark magic had ripped a hole into his very being. One that, until now, he believed would remain a gaping void.

Footsteps snapped him out of his spiral, his eyes opened again to see Tav coming to sit by the fire. An involuntary smile stretched across his face, as it usually did whenever he saw her. Their daily talks had been the highlight of his travels, just the two of them awaking from their trances early in the morning. It was rare that anyone else in the camp was up at the same time, which gave them quite a bit of alone time. Now having travelled together for a while, they had become rather comfortable in each other’s presence. It was rare that they shared any awkward or clumsy moments anymore. They shared plenty of friendly touches and laughs now, their conversation coming easier. Much of it revolved around catching him up on the party’s activities of the previous day. Some mornings they just sat in comfortable silence, watching the fire or the glowing pond and observing the nightlife in the Underdark around them.

“Can’t sleep?” Halsin asked, noting the slight tremor in his voice.

“Hardly ever.” She teased.

“You know what I mean.” He responded with a playful eye roll as she sat next to him.

“It’s hard to rest when I know what comes next.” She pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them to curl into a ball.

“I understand. Still, we’ll need all of our strength to make it through tomorrow.”

“I know. It’s just difficult knowing that we’ll be leaving this darkness for another one. Gods, how long have we gone without seeing the sun?” Her voice was wistful as she stared up into the vast expanse of the Underdark.

Too long, he thought to himself, and we’ll have to go longer still. He didn’t dwell on the thought though, not wanting to remember his last time spent in the Underdark or Moonrise right now.

Tentatively, he reached an arm out to put around her, seeking comfort in her company. He hovered his hand over her shoulder, beckoning her closer.

She leaned into his hug, resting her head against him. He could feel the slight trembles in her arms as he pulled her to his side.

“I saw the curse…in my dreams.” She whispered as they both watched the fire flicker as small embers twirled in the air with the tendrils of smoke.

“As did I.” Of course, he saw it most nights.

“Do you remember how cold it felt right before it was unleashed?”

“Yes, I remember worrying that I might never know warmth again.”

Halsin shivered at the memory. It was one he had seen many times in his meditations. An unnatural chill followed by unimaginable darkness. The sheer force of the shadows slamming into them. Dark, cursed vines curling around him and his peers, dragging most of them to their doom.

Thankfully Tav shifted beside him, interrupting his downward spiral.

“I found my old Harper pin.” Tav held up a small silver pin between her thumb and forefinger. The tarnished harp in a crescent moon was a familiar sight from his time at Moonrise. He took the pin and turned it over in his fingers.

“You know it’s strange, to think all those years ago we could have crossed paths. Simply allies passing by in a camp. Now here we are again.” He handed the pin back to her.

She chuckled. “I think I would have remembered meeting the Archdruid of the Emerald Grove. Then again, I wasn’t even able to make the connection between the Emerald Grove and the Emerald Enclave until after I met you.”

Halsin tried to swallow his thoughts, but they crawled their way back out of his throat.

“Well, I wasn’t Archdruid back then.” He let out a slight groan once he said the words. Tav had enough on her mind, he didn’t need to add to the burdens already weighing her down.

“No?” She leaned away to look up at him.

“I uh, I took over the position shortly after our return.” He tried to hide the shaking in his voice. The memories of those first days after the curse had been unleashed were days he longed to forget.

Tav nodded along as he spoke, a look of understanding and sorrow on her face.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No. I…I can’t risk it pulling me away from my duty.” Halsin let out a long sigh.

“Okay.” She kept her eyes on him as he continued taking deep breaths.

Despite the controlled breathing and Tav’s comforting arm around him, he couldn’t slow the beating in his chest. The sorrowful pounding threatened to shatter his ribs. Tears gathered in his eyes as the realization truly sunk in that he was facing the shadows again. They had weighed heavy on his mind for decades, yet these final hours were somehow the heaviest. Tav’s face had shifted to worry.

“Halsin…” She pulled away so she could turn and fully face him. He tried to look away from her, not wanting to add the weight of his tears to her worries. But her hand caught the side of his face and turned him back to her. Her eyes searched his before looking over his entire face. The gentle touch on his cheek threatened to pull the tears out of his eyes.

“…I’ll be right back.” She patted him lightly before standing up to go back to her tent.

Once again not even the crackling fire in front of him could replace her warmth. He quickly wiped away the tears before she returned. Her footsteps coming back across camp caused him to let out a sigh of relief.

“May I?” She pointed to the large stone he was leaning against.

“Sure…” He sat up to allow her to sit behind him. As she went to take her seat, he noticed the small wooden comb in her hand. His breath caught in his throat, hoping that she brought it out for him.

“You know, if my hair is that unkempt you could always just tell me.” He tried to tease her to hide his eagerness.

“Well, if that’s what you want, I can just hand this over to you…” She went to stand up, but he leaned back against her legs to hold her in place.

“No!” He said it a little too fast and a little too loud. “Please…” His voice quieted.

He could feel the smirk on her face behind him as she settled back down.

Halsin felt her hands gently pulling at the tie in his hair. It came undone much easier than last time. Half of his hair fell forward over his face as she started untangling some of the smaller braids weaved into it. He felt the touch he had longed to feel again for days as her fingertips grazed his scalp.

His eyes fluttered closed as he let her comb and smooth out the strands. Every now and then her fingers would brush against his neck, sending pleasant shivers down his body. Each pass of her hands relaxed another muscle and before he knew it, he was once again a puddle in her arms. He leaned back between her legs, the warmth of them trapping him there.

The light scratching of the comb made his eyelids feel even heavier. Whenever she ran into a snag, she would gently hold the pieces so she wouldn’t pull on his scalp. More than once, he let out an involuntary soft sigh, especially when her fingers would catch the tips of his ears as she moved them among the strands.

Once she finished combing, he felt her gathering up sections of his hair and moving them around on the top of his head. Half was gathered in her hands, the other half still hung loose around his neck and shoulders. The familiar feel of a braid fell on the back of his head when she dropped the hair she had styled. As she took her final passes over his head, he started to wonder what he could say to keep her there for the rest of the morning.

Knowing Tav, he could have just asked. He was sure she would happily sit with him as she combed him into a coma if he just asked her to do so. But when he opened his mouth to speak, no words came.

She slid out from behind him to sit next to him on the ground again, exposing his shoulders back to the cool Underdark air.

“Better?” She asked.

“Better. Thank you.” His heartbeat had slowed back to normal, and not one tense muscle could be found on his body.

“How did you know?” He asked softly once she had settled down next to him.

“It’s something that always used to help me. My mother used to…” She stared into the fire as she trailed off, the light of the flames catching the tears threatening to spill from her eyes. After a moment she blinked a few times to push away the rest of the thought.

“Plus, the last time I did that I thought I had put you to sleep.” She giggled at the memory.

“It was very close, yes.”

They shared a quiet chuckle reminiscing about that first early morning talk.

“I was wondering if you…” She trailed off and bit her lip.

“What is it?” He turned to face her.

“Would you want to go sit by the pond? One more time before we leave?” Her nervous smile made his breath catch. As if she even needed to ask.

“I’d love to.” He stood up and helped her to her feet before offering his arm for her to take. She hooked her elbow around his as they made their way out of camp.

The short, familiar walk led them to the edge of the little pond. Tav immediately bent down to pick up a rock and tossed it into the water. Once again, tiny dots of light swam among the ripples, bringing a warm glow to the air around them. Tav plopped down in the dirt, patting the spot next to her for Halsin to take.

“Thank you again for showing this to me.” She smiled as he sat down. “I have to say this may have been the highlight of my adventure so far.”

The sentiment made his heart skip a beat. “Well, consider me honored to provide it.”

They sat close enough that their legs were touching. Every now and then one of them would throw another rock into the water, bringing back the light show. Tav told him more about their time in the adamantine forge and the giant metal monstrosity that guarded it. He watched as her smile broadened each time the glowing creatures returned, a simple gesture that made him ache like a lovesick youth. It was as if the tiny lights jumped from the water to dance around her face, skipping across the freckles as a child hops across stones in a creek.

How many times had they come to sit here? Even now, the pure joy radiating from Tav when they sat around this special spot together caught him off guard.

A picture of elven beauty.

It was his first reaction to meeting her. One that still held true a tenday later.

Their idle chatter faded into comfortable silence after a while and his eyelids started to feel heavy again. Despite the fatigue creeping in, Halsin desperately wanted to stay here, with Tav. To soak in just a little more light before facing the darkness again.

“We should try and get some more rest before the others wake, tomorrow will be a difficult day for us all.” She said the words with a heavy sigh but made no move to leave his side. A stab of panic hit him; he wasn’t ready to leave yet. He didn’t want to be alone right now.

Then tell her that, you old fool.

“Stay here with me a while longer? Heavens know I could use the company.” He offered, feeling his heart rate start to pick up again, but not from his anxiety. She was right of course, they would need their strength tomorrow. But he just couldn’t go back, not yet.

“Of course. I wouldn’t dream of breaking our morning talk tradition.” She smiled and scooted a little closer to him as he wrapped his arm back around her shoulder.

“The best part of my adventure by far.”

His response caused her to turn and look up at him, her smile shining bright with the dancing lights in the water. Halsin’s mind was racing again, bringing a whole new wave of emotions and thoughts.

Hope. Friendship. Safety. Courage. Affection. Warmth. Comfort. Desire…Light.

Sitting here next to Tav chased away the darkness within him. The pull in his chest was more tempting than ever. Soon enough, he hoped to be free again. Free to chase his desires, free of his guilt, free to follow his heart.

Free to follow his heart…as if he didn’t already know where it would lead. As if it wasn’t already beating for the extraordinary woman curled up beside him.

One day soon, he could tell her how he felt. He would tell her how she brought hope back into his life. Soon, he could tell her how he had longed to spend nights tangled in her embrace. He could tell her how she saved him, from the goblins, from the grove, from himself.

But for now, that would have to wait. The shadows of Moonrise were dangerous and all-consuming. If he didn’t give them his complete and utter attention, they could all be lost. At least in this moment though, he could enjoy the warmth of Tav resting against him and the lights shining across this little hidden gem they shared. He could keep the hope in his mind that her feelings for him hadn’t faded, and that they would remain until the shadows were banished.

***

Grymforge was clear, no additional duergar or Absolute cultists remained from what they could tell. After they packed up their camp, Tav led everyone to the concealed elevator down by the docks. At least this one didn’t look like it could break apart at any second. She took a deep breath as she prepared herself for another long ride. Halsin walked up next to her and held his arm out for her to take. Once again, she pressed herself tight to his side, only this time the height was the least of her worries.

They all rode up in silence, holding their breath in anticipation of whatever awaited them on the surface. She could feel the shadows approaching. They hadn’t reached the cursed lands yet, but they were close. Halsin tensed next to her, he felt it as well. As they continued to rise to the surface, the air grew heavier, colder.

When the elevator stopped, she took a moment to make sure everyone was equipped with torches. The light from the fire would deter the curse for a while, but they would have to find a way to cross through the thickest of the shadows. Likely those closest to Moonrise Towers.

Tav turned to face the long corridor that would lead them into the cursed darkness. The walls had gnarled, decayed vines crawling from their base to the ceiling. Her heart felt like it could burst through her chest any second. Halsin stood next to her, taking slow, deep breaths.

“Are you ready?” He asked her, his voice quiet and somber.

“Not in the slightest.” Tav whispered as her hands trembled at her side.

Halsin held one hand out to her in response, steady as an ancient oak tree. Yet she could still see his fear mirroring her own. Despite the growing dread and anxiety balling up in her chest, a timid smile spread over her face. With a small nod, she took his hand and held it tight.

Together, they took a step forward into the shadows.

#I've gotten so much support on this fic and it's been amazing #I thought i'd have like 5 people read it and I have over 50 subscribers on ao3 #not to mention the people who routinely like and reblog it here #bg3 #bg3 fanfiction #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #bg3 halsin #halsin x tav #halsin silverbough #bg3 fluff #bg3 angst #halsin fanfic

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