#why wasn't I enough

[aprocessionofthoughts]

Left Behind

ai-less whumptober day 19- left behind/why wasn't I enough fandom- dp x dc TW- abandonment Summary- The Fenton parents leave their kids at the Gotham Public Library

ao3 ailesswhumptober masterlist part 1 of TFR

Barbara was working the closing shift at the library. She was putting some books away when she overheard a conversation.

“Do you know when mom and dad are going to pick us up?” said what sounded like a teenage boy.

“No, I– Oh, wait they just messaged me.” said what Barbara thought was a slightly older teen girl.

Silence.

“Jazz?

“They left.”

“What?”

“Someone posted about a possible sighting in Metropolis. They said they’ll be there for a few days.”

There was more silence. Barbara stayed quiet.

“So, they left us behind.”

“Yeah.”

“Again.”

“...Yeah.”

Barbara closed her eyes, thinking of Tim and how he had been left home alone so much. And these kids… their parents had abandoned them too.

“Well at least we’re not helpless.”

“I hate them.”

“Jazz–”

“No, Danny. I hate them. They’re supposed to be our parents. They’re supposed to take care of us.”

“I know. They always chose something else over us. Why aren’t we enough, Jazz?”

“I don’t know.” she sniffled.

“Jazz, hey, look at me. We’ll be okay.”

“I'm sorry, Danny. I'm just so tired.”

“I am too.”

Barbara was about to speak up when they continued.

“At least i have a credit card this time so it won’t be like the time they forgot is in Bridgton.”

“Yeah, that sucked. We were lucky we were able to sneak onto that semi.”

“Well, tonight we can get a hotel room and then get bus tickets tomorrow.

“I could just... you know. Do my thing.”

“I guess, but we should at least get a hotel for tonight. I don’t want to try traveling while you’re exhausted.”

“That’s fair. But–”

Barbara finally decided she should make her presence known. She cleared her throat as she made her way around the bookshelf.

The two teens startle. They looked like siblings. The girl was a redhead with teal eyes, and the boy had black hair and blue eyes.

“Hello, I’m Barbara. I work here at the library. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help overhearing your conversation.” she paused as the siblings glanced at each other, the boy reaching over to grab his sister’s arm. 

“What do you mean?” asked the girl, Jazz, if Barbara was correct.

“You need a place to stay tonight? It’ll be hard to find a good hotel at this hour. I’ve got an extra bedroom at my apartment, and you’re welcome to stay the night. You won’t owe me anything.”

“Why?” asked the boy, Danny.”

Barbara considered for a moment. “I have a friend who went through a similar situation as you guys, so I’m familiar with what it's like to have your parents be too busy. And you wouldn’t be the first kids I've let stay the night. I can help you find bus tickets in the morning. I’m familiar with most of the routes and can let you know which ones are the safest and quickest.”

The girl glanced at her brother, who stared at Barbara. There was a moment where his eyes seemed to glow and Barabar felt as if he were really looking at her. She suppressed a shudder at the intense feeling. 

Then he turned to his sister and nodded.

“That’s very kind of you. Thank you. I’m Jazz and this is Danny.”

“It’s nice to meet you both. I have to finish locking up so I’ll meet you by the door.”

They nodded and started gathering their stuff.

Barbara went to finish the rest of the closing shift duties. 

She also had a call to make.

#ailesswhumptober2023 #ailesswhumptober #day 19 #left behind #why wasn't I enough #Danny fenton #jazz fenton #barbara gordon #let Jazz break down #fanfic #dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc crossover

[prahacat]

when the horrors catch up and you take an evening off to batch-process

#obi-wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #maybe obi-wan just read the outline for the next wip #why do i love to torture him so #one of my fav fanfic genres has to be meta fic horror #just imagine. how deeply disturbing it must be to find out you're a fictional character #somebody has *intentionally* written all those horrors onto you #and it wasn't even the guy who created you #he did his part. but the ppl who love it most to ruin your life and see you suffer are your fans #it's not enough that there's prob a lot of jedi rpf around in the gffa already. scarred obi-wan for life #lmao drawing anakin like this gave me so many flashbacks to my old ocs where almost every male character had that hair #also i have a job interview in one hour dsdsfhjgj #my art #prahacat draws

[hey-hey-j]

I have to do everything myself around here 😤

#my art #the owl house #toh #toh spoilers #lumity #luz noceda #amity blight #amity (internally): as if I wasn't gay enough already #this was originally going to be a redraw of That One Raeda Scene that's why amity is posed like that

[coquelicoq]

what i like especially about the pronouns in the goblin emperor is that this language doesn't just have the T-V distinction (aka informal vs. formal second-person pronouns, in this case 'thou' vs. 'you'), it also has informal and formal first-person pronouns. having BOTH of these distinctions in the same language lets you fine-tune your tone by mixing and matching. with only one axis of formality, when you use informal pronouns, are you being familiar in an intimate way, or in an insolent or dismissive way? when you use formal pronouns, are you being polite or standoffish? you can't tell just from the pronouns; there's ambiguity. but a language where you can use a formal first-person pronoun in the same sentence as an informal second-person pronoun allows you to distance yourself (via the formal first) while also being familiar (via the informal second), thereby achieving the conversational tenor known to linguists as Fuck Thee Specifically.

#just kidding i don't know what linguists call that tenor. or any tenors. i'm not totally positive what a tenor even is #but i can't let that stop me from writing a jokey post on tumblr dot com #register is a very interesting area of linguistics that i know very little about #so i'm probably revealing the depths of my vast ignorance here to all the sociolinguists who surely hang on my every word #but i've always thought of the formal/informal pronoun thing as being about two things: intimacy-distance & rudeness-politeness #and of course you can usually tell from context whether a formal pronoun is meant to indicate distance or politeness #(plus distance and politeness are related to each other (to various degrees depending on culture)) #but it seems like it would be cool to have a built-in alignment chart of sorts just for pronoun combos #instead of prep jock nerd goth...why not try intimate self-effacing polite superior? #the goblin emperor #pronouns #register #sociolinguistics #my posts #f #anyway i know i said i wasn't going to reread the goblin emperor...but guess what. lol #and i edited my tags on that earlier post but fyi the language DOES distinguish between plural and formal singular pronouns #i had said i thought it used the same pronouns for plural and formal but i just wasn't paying close enough attention #so anyway i just reread the part where maia is talking to setheris in formal first and informal second #and you can see setheris going ohhh shit. oh shit oh shit oh shit #i'm in biiiiiig trouble #you sure are dude. that's the Time to Grovel signal #it's interesting because at the very beginning of the book when i first saw the formal first used i just thought it was the royal we #because i knew the main character was supposed to be royalty #but then EVERYONE was doing it. so it's not the royal we it's just the formal we #however. this does make me realize that the way the royal we would function in a language that retains the t-v distinction #is the same way i'm describing here. it's just reserving that particular tone (i'm better than you and am displeased with you) #for royalty only. which makes sense given royalty's whole deal

[charliespringverse]

i am not a taskmaster blog but i AM autistic and a taskmaster fan and this post made me have some emotions earlier today and i am yet to see it shared on tumblr

#this is very special to me as one of the many ppl in the centre of the venn diagram of autistics and taskmaster enjoyers #i read it out to my mam and we had a rlly nice chat abt why we think the show resonates with autistic ppl #and considering this is the first series that my dad (autistic) wasn't able to finish watching it felt . rlly meaningful #bc taskmaster is one of the things he and i have always shared #my mam thinks the reason he and i bonded over it in a way she didn't join in with was that we both watched it in an autistic way #anygay . enough channel 4 themed grief #taskmaster #taskmaster series 14 #fern brady #autistic joy

[aquanutart]

#wind waker #loz #zelda #beedle #linktober #link #aquanutart #day 1: merchant #i really liked beedle in the wind waker he just always seemed so genuinely enthusiastic and happy to see you #i thought his compliment card was hilarious. i always bought a lot of bait anyway to complete my sea chart #and because i liked messing around as a bird i guess i'd buy hyoi pears; so i always racked up enough points without really trying #however i wasn't a fan of what they did with his character in games after that. he became pressuring and insincere #i understand why people would find a two-faced salesman character funny or interesting in his own right #but it's the opposite of what i originally liked about him #unfortunately this makes me question whether it was meant that way to begin with? #i don't know but i like to believe wind waker beedle actually meant his enthusiasm #back when ww beedle was the only beedle i always meant to show appreciation for him so i'm doing that now

[foxyfexyll]

omg guys. i found a wip in my files and i finished it. completely unheard of.

charlie on the left belongs to @doodledrawsthings !! i think the context for this drawing is that i found this post while i was sitting surrounded by craft/wrapping paper, ribbons, and art supplies. so i thought: what if they made their own lil prom dresses?

#barbie princess charm school style #im preeeety sure it was christmas hence christy #i think the reason why i dropped this was 1 i didnt want to colour 2 charlies fit wasnt fit wasn't cool enough #but im glad i picked it up again #didn't mean to spend that much effort on the colouring lol #vex draws #my art #artists on tumblr #vex oc #mak oc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #mak if you're reading this you're really cool and awesome and i love your art

[stiltonbasket]

I was today years old when I found out about the Binghe cameo in MDZS...

#BINGHE WHAT WERE YOU DOING #why were you at an inn crying over sqq #svsss #mdzs #help im in tears #i picture sqq leaving to go do something with sqh #but the day trip turned into a 3 day trip and now binghe is Not Happy #he could go chase after sqq but he doesn't want to intrude on Friend Time #even though shen qingqiu would be happy to see him #and so he can do nothing but sob at an inn u_u #if this wasn't enough there's lwj getting drunk in the bg

[nellasbookplanet]

The more time I sink into andromeda, the more I suspect the biggest reason it ultimately failed commercially was because of the massive tonal shift I've already mentioned, and how there was probably a pretty big chunk of original trilogy players who simply no longer fit as a demographic, while the game failed to reach the people who might’ve enjoyed it.

The original trilogy, much as I love it, feels a little bit like a wishfulfillment power fantasy for a very obvious demographic. Almost all women are overtly sexy in design and the f/f relationship in the first game seems to be written along the guidelines of 'what would a straight man find hot'; you play as someone cool and confident and powerful, the most specialest human ever, and maybe you aren’t always respected but YOU and the NARRATIVE always know you're right and you get to be rude to and sometimes punch/murder people who disagree with you so it’s fine. The game then salvages all this by means of genuinely well-written characters and arcs, really cool sci-fi tech and lore, a fantastic story, and meaningful and hard-hitting choices and consequences (which also allow and often encourage you to steer away from that exact macho ideal).

Enter andromeda. Instead of being a super powerful supersoldier from the start, you're the kid of one. You barely know what you're doing. Everyone doubts you, including yourself. You don’t get the assuredness of knowing you are Right and Cool that you have as Shepard. You don’t demand that same respect. And I'm sure there are a lot of people who hated that.

#mass effect #mass effect andromeda #to be clear: i don't think this is an actual flaw of the game but i do think it played a part in why it wasn't a hit like ME 1-3 #andromeda has plenty of flaws #some similar to the original trilogy and some all of it's own #the biggest being that it fails to take the same big swings and risks as the trilogy #and therefore feels a lot less hard hitting and rewarding #had it succeeded in that emotional core the way the trilogy did i actually think that original demographic would've enjoyed it too #in a similar way to how i adore the trilogy despite not being the intended target audience. it has enough substance to carry past its flaws #nella talks

[ink--theory]

thoughts on bonerattle arena

#lore wise? ark polaris is great amazing 10/10 #gameplay wise? ehhh not my favorite but it wasn't the worst with the right group of ppl in higher difficulties (600+) #bonerattle is essentially ruins 2.0 but the devs actually keeping in mind all the new bosses and stuff that they gave us in 3 #that's why returning maps like grounds and bay are so jank now compared to 2 #ark is like one of if not THE smallest of the sr maps in both 2 and 3 #and I just can't imagine how chaotic it would get with sr's higher difficulty new bosses and especially the kings #w/o there being some reworks but bay and grounds didn't get reworks so same would be said for ark if it did ever come back #and sure we have stuff like egg throwing and squid surge to help but still lol #ok i've rambled enough so imma stop sdklfj #splatoon #splatoon 3 #salmon run #ruins of ark polaris #bonerattle arena

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

haven't scribbled any Lights Out in a hot second!! take these two scribbles - i wanted to mess around with Wally's hair & try to make a rudimentary ref for him in the au's late stages

#might make a ref for all of them! #once they're all sufficiently Scruffled by their time in the dark #its hard to tell but wally's colors are desaturated / muddled #like look at any vintage puppet - their colors Fade! their felt/fleece is a little scruffy! etc! #they get grimy and prone to tearing. their seams weaken. plush flattens. etc #oh yeah the color on his hand is Chalk Dust #scribble salad #welcome home au #wh lights out au #i realized i wasn't giving him Enough hair #so i made it a little longer. a little fluffier #this scribble's frank is Very freshly awake which is why he barely looks disheveled #he needed to do Something so he decided to brush out wally's rat-nest of a hairstyle #and wally is... unsure how to handle the sudden attention

[earlgodwin]

An appreciation post for the beautiful Giulia Farnese: she's so smart, kind, and caring. She believed in women's solidarity and showed deep care for Lucrezia, always delicate and tender with her. Giulia proved her worth and loyalty when she rescued Lucrezia from the hands of her abusive husband. Even when she learned that Rodrigo cheated on her, instead of being envious and hating the young artist he cheated with, she offered a threesome. She never disrespected Vanozza but formed a friendship with her. Giulia was also a great asset to the Borgia family, helping establish and strengthen the church's charitable works, securing the pope's legacy, and earning her brother a cardinal's hat. She only departed when her relationship with Rodrigo was no longer working, with his blessing.

#i miss giulia so much!!! #she's sooo beautiful #that's mother #another reason why i wasn't THAT sad when the borgias got cancelled #like i can't handle lotte verbeek's departure sorry <333 as if david oakes' departure wasn't enough #giulia farnese #lotte verbeek #the borgias #theborgiasedit #period drama #lucrezia borgia #vanozza dei cattanei #holliday grainger #joanne whalley #rodrigo borgia #borgia #the borgia family #by jen

[bonefall]

Does leopard still have 3 lives in her final battle? Or was that changed?

Yep. I think she drowned her once, then Leopardstar lunges up refreshed, and she gets the upper paw on Mistyfoot with 2 lives to go.

(MAYBE tw gore, but I really did try to be tasteful about a head being smashed on a rock.)

On her back, splashing and thrashing furiously against Leopardstar's claws dunking her head under, Mistyfoot glimpses a wave breaking just over the tip of a stone-blue rock. Her only chance.

With a surge of power, her claws sink into her leader's golden shoulder and they tumble and roll to the right. Before the tyrant even realizes what's happening, she's yanked up, and then whipped backwards with a wet CRUNCH

And then again

And again

And again, until Mistyfoot can't even make out what's left of her leader anymore. All she can see is that it's a red, brown, and yellow blur, because her eyes burning with salty tears and her whole body is trembling.

She drops the corpse onto the stone and it slides into the water, lifelessly. After a moment it spasms aimlessly one last time, like an insect does after its head is bitten off, unlike the deliberate, agonized throes of Tigerstar suffering through his doomed lives. And then it's still.

There's only the tranquil sound of bubbling water, and Mistyfoot's frenzied panting. Her pounding heart makes it hard to hear either.

The blood is carried off by the shallow water in scarlet swirls, but the lake runs pale red as if it's washing it away. Some were aware of this prophecy, but Mistyfoot was not.

It isn't closure to her, or a fulfillment of divine decree. It's just blood that should be on her paws, slicked away by the complicit river. She wished it could feel like it's over, but she's smart enough to know the truth. Has been through enough terrible events like this to understand what comes next.

Her body will move foward. Her mind will need to consider her deputy. Her paw will come down on code-defying cats like Blackclaw and Greenflower. But her heart will stay here, next to the remains of Leopardstar, the same way another piece of it remains at Stonefur's side across space and time.

#Tw gore #Juuuust in case but I did try to stay tasteful #While also trying to write it as gut-wrenchingly violent as I imagine in my head #Because it's important that it haunts her #The kill wasn't pretty and clean. It was awful. She didn't want this. It wasn't heroic #'Why did you do this to me? Why did you make this so cruel?' #'Why was the last thing you ever did to me such a horrible command as a leader?' #'And why did I obey your orders until the bitter bitter end?' #'How could you turn my defiance into a new kind of cruel obediance? Did I not suffer ENOUGH for you?' #'And now there is no head to bury with your body. I am cursed with the last memory of your face. I alone will know how you looked at me' #'That the last expression on your face wasn't pain or confusion or realization.' #'It was all fury. For me.' #OF COURSE tho I will continue to make funny rock jokes until the day I die lmaoo #Duality of Bones #Hmm maybe when I get to this in BB!TNP I'll be quick and objective about it and save the Misty Emotions for like... #I miss how the field guides used to have stories told in 1st person. #It would be fun to have a BB!Mistystar Speaks #Because I do LOVE writing Misty's verbose and philosophical speeches. #As you can see from the tags lmao #BB!Mistystar #Better bones au

[the-crooked-library]

On Horror, Queerness, Mirrors, and Dracula

Your wish is my command (you may or may not regret this). 

Here’s the thing - I love horror, and I love patterns, and I think the best horror is always in some sense symmetrical.  It might not be obvious, but what’s the point of staring into an abyss if you can’t see your own face reflected back?  The symmetry itself comes in any number of different twists, whether it is familial, communal, erotic, or individual, and most of these apply to Bram Stoker’s Dracula. 

The centre of our novel rests on the Harkers.  So, starting with Jonathan - his experience in Transylvania is a twisted version of his life back home.  Dracula is reserved but eloquent, seemingly caring and occasionally affectionate, he reads train schedules and they spend hours upon hours in conversation; which is a dark mirror to Jonathan’s train schedule-loving, passionate but serious Mina.  It may even be said that the Count is re-enacting a caricature of traditional heteronormative domesticity - he maintains the household, waits on his guest himself, and blows him kisses from the stairs.  His possessiveness of Jonathan is the only way a vampire like Dracula is capable of understanding the bond Jonathan shares with Mina.  The Count states that he, too, feels love; but he is written by a closeted gay man in the late 19th century, so his imitation of married life is both a lie and a tragedy.  He is a shorthand for forbidden, wrong, and corrupting desires. 

At the same time, Mina herself also has a same-sex connection in the beginning of the story, and her relationship with Lucy mirrors the relationship between Jonathan and Dracula.  They cling to each other, in a sense; despite being excited about the prospect of their impending marriages, there is some trepidation associated with this new stage in life.  A common part of a dowry used to be a shroud, simply due to the frequency at which Victorian wives died in childbirth soon after the wedding; and even provided a survival, the transition to married life was still a loss of innocence.  As such, Lucy’s affection for Mina is the last expression of her girlhood, and she herself is the personification of Mina’s.  Lucy is, therefore, the direct antithesis of the Count; her death and subsequent rising change Mina the same way that Dracula does Jonathan, establishing a firm duality between the Harkers and their respective vampires. 

The other characters are reflections of each other, as well; the suitors defend while the brides terrify, Van Helsing wants to preserve life while Renfield wishes to consume it - and even further, the old Hungarian lady cares enough about  a stranger to give Jonathan a cross for protection, while Lucy’s own mother lets Dracula into the house herself, selfishly ignorant of her daughter’s needs and the doctor’s orders.  Another parallel is drawn again between Jonathan and Renfield, who represents directly what he could have been, had he not escaped from Dracula’s grasp; which makes Renfield’s vehement, last-ditch attempt to protect Mina perhaps all the more poignant.  In him, she sees the resilience of Jonathan’s humanity; while he gets to see exactly what she could become after her turning  - in Dracula himself.  These dualities are integral to the story’s thematic structure, and therefore inextricable from each character’s development. 

There is really too much to say about each individual dynamic to fit into one rant, but for the current purposes, I can forgo the details.  They all converge as it is on Jonathan and Mina, and thus, the central theme of this story is devotion.  If Jonathan had truly broken, like Renfield, Mina would have stayed by his side; and if she had fully turned, like Dracula, he would have adored whatever shred of her still remained.  In madness and in death, in happiness and sorrow, in sickness and in health - until the echoes start to sound like wedding vows. 

@stripedshirtgay​

@bluberimufim​

#dracula #dracula daily #jonmina #jonathan harker #mina harker #dracula meta #bram stoker #y'all asked for this #now scream with me bc i've been internally screaming about this for years #it's about the DEVOTION #lucy westenra is mina's innocence #dracula is jonathan's fear of inadequacy #renfield is his humanity #dracula is an evil version of mina i said what i said #that's Partially why jonathan wasn't weirded out enough #like yes yes eccentric old count #but he writes a diary in shorthand #and his fiancee loves train schedules #who's he to judge

[beaulesbian]

Shanks always said that if the path to what you want seems too easy, then you're on the wrong path.

#roronoa zoro #one piece #zolu #monkey d. luffy #oplaedit #it's about zoro drifting on the sea without a purpose to the point of letting the marines capture him. but still having that dream #and with luffy seeing a chance to actually accomplish that. by his side. and by the end of s1 they have a whole crew! #its about zoro being always lost but within a few days of knowing each other the directionless sense points him towards luffy. #its about zoro seeing how serious luffy is about his own dream. how stubborn and determined he is to become the pirate king no matter what #and how luffy and zoro knew each other only for a few hours/days but already understood so well what the other is about!! #like zoro knowing the garp thing wasn't that big of a deal if luffy didn't want to tell them at first #and luffy knowing enough about dreams to not discourage zoro from fighting mihawk. not standing in the way of his dream. #and how much it hurt luffy to think he wasnt a good captain.. but he had zoro! like in the early days - #it was just the two of them (even if more here but lets just say.. zoro was always the first. the anchor. the stability to luffy) #why am i emo about opla again #uhh captain and his first mate #one piece live action #mine #gif:one piece #gif:opla #opgraphics

[hrokkall]

What's gabriel in this au?

Some loser, probably.

#Gabriel Ultrakill #Rain World Ancients #Ultrakill #Rain World #I CAN POST THIS NOW THAT THE FULL ATTACK IS DONE. NICE pose referenced from Act 1's ending cutscene if that wasn't blatant already #He's as of yet unnamed but I'm working on it. And also somehow not dead. Debatably. It's a crossover AU it's not adhering to RW canon #Anyway very cool style rain world has for its murals! Tried to match it to the best of my ability but my own style definitely bleeds throug #-in places. It happens #ANYWAY the reason why he's an Ancient is just because there seem to be a lot of parallels between Angels in UTKL and Ancients in RW #Both are societies obsessed with remaining free from earthly desire and keeping order; one wishes to ascend and one has already ascended- #-and has to keep it that way lest they feel the wrath of a long-absent god #Looking at the karma murals that represented the deadly sins (ish) kind of solidified that #Plus it means I don't have to take off his helmet which is always a bonus; I don't like unmasking helmeted characters #As a bonus ancients sort of seem birdlike to me? They're meant to look vague but at least two had bird feet so hell yeah. Bird time. #Enough tag talking. Here's the actual sorting tags: #Re: Inbox #Re: Anon #RW UTKL #Hrokkall Art