#why didnt you tell me I looked this good

[xtrablak674]

Spring Winter Day

[Photos by Brown Estate]

#why didnt you tell me I looked this good #fall #winter #leaves #fashion #suit #born to tailor #Brooklyn weather #Brooklyn #street style #urbanwear #slay #fierce #green #yellow #beige #three piece suit

[elftwink]

one major difference i have found between service industry work (in my case food service but this is widely applicable to similar jobs) and other public-facing positions is that the job itself is often very similar because people is the same, it's just in service everyone approaches you already thinking they're right and you're a fucking idiot and its their god given right to disrespect you, where in other positions even if they are not nice to you they usually acknowledge that you know more than them on issues pertaining to your job. like the difference in behaviour from people who see you as serving them vs helping them is unreal. i am doing literally the exact same things. customer is always right mentality did irreparable damage to the fabric of society

#good idea generator #i loveee the library front desk everyone is polite and people will just ask you anything #they assume so much knowledge and access to data #ill be like 'just one moment let me look that up in the system' [googles name of school + upcoming events] #also not in a mean way but i never realized until i worked here how little anybody is googling anything #i think its funny and i also love to google things for people so i am perfectly suited to this #and some questions even though they are googleable the issue is more that the person isnt totally sure what theyre asking #but like. the library hours are visible on the home page. and outside the building that you just walked into on a sign #PPL DO NOT READ SIGNS. i knew that from other jobs but good lord people do NOT even GLANCE at signs #ppl would fully walk past like 4 signs about a specific thing and proceed to ask me a q about the thing. after waiting in a line #constantly CONSTANTLY ppl are trying to enter or exit through locked doors. clambering over closed signs to do so #its someones job when the library closes specifically to point out the signs and direct ppl to an open exit #and still often people will get up to the automatic doors and be baffled and confused as to why they dont open #but like even this i dealt w/this at my food service job and it was so frustrating #bc when you had to confront these people they would get MAD AT YOU. furious that they didnt read a sign telling them where to line up #but at the library people are polite and apologetic so you know it's not malice or entitlement ppl are just kind of inattentive #monumental difference tbh i actually love front counter so much people are so fun #and i like it when nobody is actively trying to kill me with their mind while we speak

[hauntingblue]

BACK TO ONE PIECE LETSGOOOOO

#nami put luffy in a cage.... dont let sanji see that.... again nami demonstrating how she is the strongest ever..... #why is franky the boat akshaksjskqjqk ROBIN NEARLY 1000 MILLION YEAAAAAHHHHH #sanji exploded </3 rip the smoking got to him..... luffys snapshot in the cage beaten up akdhsksjsk #jinbes theme is a banger.... buggy lmaoo chacho means president??? that is so funny... CHACHOOOO!!! also buggy owning croc money... banger #these two divas sitting cross legged on the couch bullying buggy.... ajhdkajsa buggys bounty akdhsksjsks #this whole episode was so funny lmao buggy.... #talking tag #watching one piece #episode 1086 #luffy wanted yamato to join the crew omg....... i mean of course but he was maaaad.... i kew yamato was a nakama for sure #marco telling luffy ace would be proud of him and smiling.... didnt that happen before and he got sad??? development #SERAPHIM?? THE NEW PACIFISTAS?? why tf does she look like hancock??? OMG MARGARET!!! FUCKING BLACKBEARD??? IN AMAZON LILY??? #baby angel mihawk too??? what is this.... KILL BLACKBEARD YES!!!! THROW HIM INTO THE SEA!!! LET THE SEA RECLAIM HIM!!! #so pretty sure what garp was talking about were the seraphim pacifistas..... just keep making things worse old man sure #koby is gay confirmed see.... helmeppo got got... the downsides of being bisexual... #BLACKBEARD GOT HER!!! GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF HER!!!! #episode 1087 #hancock lying on rayleighs legs omg... those are her parents ALSO SHAKKY EX KUJA CAPTAIN AND EX EX EMPERESS??? RAYLEIGH????? #why does amazon lily have a giant portrait of luffy on the palace facade akdhaksjaka i mean i DO know why..... #who tf is wang zhi and what did koby do.... and blackbeard is NASTY!!!! RAYLEIGH GET HIM!!! this reminds me of shanks in marineford... a lo #koby kidnapped by blackbeard?? omg kuma....... he is alright.... why the cherry blossom petals in between them ajdjsksjwk #see how sabo is alive.... but why does koala have blue eyes and orange hair now.... luffy having a crisis #i was thinking is carobou om that fucking barrel and YES why us brook crying akdhsk what do you know #zoro using luffy's words against him.... but i dont think ace is a good example of this.... zoro and sanji fighting about who is on top.... #luffy asking robin for news.... BUT ROBIN I WANT TO KNOW!!!! omg this ending???? WHAT DID LUFFY SAY???? that was beautiful............. #he said he wants to give everyone freedom i know it... and he needs to be pirate king for that.... he knew since he was a child..... #omg....... the one piece is freedom for everyone and for some reason roger couldnt do it he wanted his son to do it..... #back on my theories grind.... #episode 1088 #LUFFY!!!! THE MAN THAT YOU ARE!!!!

[theskeletoninthegarden]

Sorry about the theater of emotions going on my face from across the room. I'm trying to resolve an argument that I made up between two fictional characters.

#personal #sorry i didnt tell you that your brother was killed and replaced by a robot #it seemed pretty insignificant to me in the grand scheme of things #more then that id known for so long my mind defaulted to assuming #that it was universal knowledge for everyone #and in that reality that i learned the truth you were unaffected #if it means anything to the both of us i never used that knowledge to grow closer to you #i used that i knew you were a good man to want to know you #where you would be to find you #who you chose to align yourself to be worthy of standing at your side #we shared a bed for rest #and each other for comfort #we could have built a home and were taking all the careful steps to grow closer without scaring the other away #without scaring our own selves away #and were amazed by the ease in which we fell into each other #you look me in the face and say you understand how i could make this mistake #and we both understand why this can no longer be #but this world is indifferent and in you and in i and in each other we have found someone kind #is it selfish of yourself to yourself if you choose to not only allow us to continue but want it to? #what i have done by not doing may remain unforgivable #i will never ask of you any different #but it does not make us impossible #even if every law of societal standard should say otherwise #society is not you it is not i #it shapes us and frame out lives #but our willingness to act for or against it is our own decision #however unconscious

[mindrole]

i wish we got to see more of the hosts interacting~ (like in the dlc and such..)

#cell of empireo #ill tag this whatever #jabuchi you #utsugi noriyuki #enomoto noa #kanou aogu #sorry for tagging my junk doodles but ive been rotating 'tell me about the nintendo wii' in my mind for a hot minute #i didnt check refs when i drew this like a month ago so i apologize if the charas look weird #starting a sideblog for coe stuff was a good call tho i think #if you are going to go to my blog be careful i dont tag spoilers 🫰 #misumi: why are you buying a woman in her 30s a nintendo wii

[reblog-house]

Me: Man! How am I suddenly good with [art skill] overnight and with no practice whatsoever?

The many failed and successful drawings I've made the past few months unintentionally practicing those skills I'm now praising: Hey.

Me: It must be divine intervention.

#carime rambles #why can i suddenly draw weird face angles? ((all my doodles of weird face angles can be seen in the distance)) #why can i suddenly draw weird poses? ((all the drawings ive made these past few months+ bc bo pointed out i always drew the same pose)) #why can i suddenly draw digital lineart? ((trying not to just clean up my sketches but actually draw proper lineart on top)) #what about hands? ((you draw hands all the time & also drew a SIX HANDED CHARACTER with every hand in WEIRD POSES of COURSE its easier now)) #and folds of clothing? ((that... i genuinely have no answer to. all my clothes tend to be slapped on with random folds- nvm i remember now)) #basically: *bonks head* YOU DIDNT GET GOOD OVERNIGHT! IT'S ALL PRACTICE!!! ALL OF IT!!!! EVEN IF YOU DONT REMEMBER IT!!!!!! #i still have trouble with all of the things ive mentioned here but now it's easier to me. and why? bc of all the ugly drawings ive failed at #i now trust my own process #even when i feel i couldnt possibly get the a result of the same quality as before #ive proven my intuition (the one telling me it won't look good) wrong before and i can do it again

[awkwardexxodus]

did you actually learn English through reading gay fanfic?? how does it feel being better than every native speaker to ever exist

feels great, thanks for asking!!! ^_^ /j

but yeah...mostly??? all schools have english classes but they're usually the most basic of basic stuff. i learned gramatic rules and all of the tenses, yes (which was GREAT!! because when you learn a language straight from the source you often repeat something you saw being done and ASSUMED was right instead of KNOWING it was right and Why), but only enough to know a few useful phrases & hold the simplest of conversations. so i used that as a guide while everything else was learned through translation and memorization or by research! idk when that changed to 'oh i can read it by myself now' or when that changed to 'i can write lengthy texts without problem' but. that gift horse can keep its mouth shut, idk & idc.

since spanish is so similar to portuguese, im using that as my stepping stone this time. if i cant tell what a word means by just looking at it, ill look it up. thats it. if it works again im posting a five paragraph text fully in spanish or smth

#btw it was percy jackson fanfic the first time. obviously. i was like 12 or 13 i think #also didnt add to it but the reason i stopped with language apps is bc theyre guilty of telling you what to do without explaining why #yeah ok i can use e or y here. oh i got it wrong. are you going to tell me why? no? cool! i learned nothing! #and adding to the english classes we also have 'professional' ones that are private right but. not all of them are good. #my brother went to one for only 1 year and it was BAD. like i cringed going through his textbooks bad. and it was expensive as hell too!!! #but they DO give you certificates... that looks better than 'im self-taught' on applications

[todayisafridaynight]

Wanna put your friend in a lil terrarium just to see what wacky things she does stg 😂

i actually Cannot Stress the migraine she gives me every time we hang out. like without fail she'll always say or do something that ranges from mildly questionable or irritating but relatively Whatever to How Have You Survived This Long Without Burning Your House Down Boiling An Egg

#snap chats #and then there's her just forgetting things or being late despite the amount of times ill remind her #and i keep stressing to her i cannot stand it when people are late. and then she shows up to things an hour late anyway #or 'when shes late' by fifteen minutes because she didnt think to text me she's there. and im already stressed and annoyed I. UGH i swear. #LIKE. i have only really had two irl friends and both of them i lowkey had to parent in some way #at least my childhood bestie she's like. she's grown a lot and even if i havent spoken to her in a while im real proud of her right #THIS MOTHERFUCKER THO. OUUUUUGGGH.... youre not supposed to say anythin if you dont got nothin nice to say #which is contradictory to the main body text but point is let me Not be any more mean than how ive been already LMAO #even funnier about her looking at that comic is that LITERALLY masumi says he's talking to jo ☠️☠️☠️☠️ #did i already say i have to remind her who jo is every three seconds #like the entirety of chap 2 when ichi's out of jail she was all 'why doesnt he just say who ACTUALLY killed the guy' #and then when we finally run into the fuckass who 'actually killed the guy' she's just 'wait who's that' #then i tell her and shes like 'oh my god he's so old now' IT'S BEEN 18 YEARS DUMBASS #ngl did wanna make a comic based off that LMAO BUT POINT IS she tests my patience every day and i think its good practice #if im going to work with people in the future like ohh.. my god.... #she told me once she's never been on a date and its like. yeah i wonder why you can't even be assed to show up on time to hangouts ☠️ #like ive never had friends so maybe im just insane.. im not insane for wanting people to be on time tho.... #OK IM BEING TOO MEAN LET ME CAP IT THERE

[deus-and-the-machina]

ffxiv garlemald discourse is so funny because people will go "ugh people just cant stand it when things aren't black and white" and then you look at how the empire are portrayed in stormblood and shadowbringers and its like hm. that seems like a pretty intense and accurate display of violent imperialism to me! Wow I wonder why people in this day and age may find it hard to feel sympathy for them or even hate them on principal. god its such a mystery.

the games like 50/50 to me on how it tackles these themes because I actually like the garlemald arc in EW, I think it has a lot of horrific and powerful scenes depicting how self destructive fascist propaganda and beliefs are, but I also think it doesn't go far enough on some fronts. the garleans' xenophobia is most notably and obstacle to getting them to accept the contingent's help, which is what they're there to do,

but there's never an admission of harm from any garleans on the uuuuuuuuh massive amount of war crimes the nations around them are still suffering from they're just kind of like "we misjudged you...but you actually wanted to help us all along" like yeah thats great now can we get you all some deprogramming because you keep talking about returning to your prime and glory days and I think we need to unpack some stuff you really SHOULDNT return to. im not even really talking about EW proper but the patches where things are a bit more chilled out and people are recovering.

It feels like they wanted to have their critique of imperialism and also have things end with the beauty of human connection and reaching out and these things just don't mesh well because hey a lot of your modern day audience is not gonna like having to treat people yelling xenophobic things at the cast and your character with kid gloves after you showed them hours and hours of the awful things these people's beliefs have done. especially in the present day hoo boy.

#im kind of torn between 'no characters dont need to be 'punished' to be redeemed but also the characters just being so lenient with the #colonizers after we see far too many people being lenient if not supportive of the colonizers irl. well. it really blows afslkjfalkf and #yeah you can argue if they'd gone through with the garlemald expansion they would've had more time to go into this but the fact is that its #absent from what they did do and I especially think the patches when we go to garlemald and the EW role quests going 'hey maybe the #provinces can help us rebuild' as if they'd have any goddamn right to ask that just make me feel like they didnt stick the landing #seeing all the characters who have suffering time and time again bc of the garleans or seen the results of their actions having to clamp #their mouths shut every time someone said something xenophobic in EW isnt satisfying and it leaves so much unsaid! #also some people feel like the narrative didnt blame emet enough but ngl I think thats reductive even with his micromanaging scheming littl #ass and the intention of garlemald turning out a shitshow that doesnt make anyone else less complicit. most governments like this exaggerat #and lie and spread propaganda but I dont think most people here excuse the actions of a bigot because 'they were raised that way' #this is also my issue with gaius' writing. hes primarily upset that ascians were behind what he thought was his good old fashioned natural #conquering ideology :( and doesnt it suck so much he killed people for it. like yeah he seems pretty aware what he did was wrong but his #ideology remains bizarrely intact and unchallenged by the characters around him. no dude it wasnt just the ascians the system is a lot more #complex than that by this point aaaaaugh #final fantasy xiv #ffxiv #siren says #I hope people are nice to me about this I dont think I said anything particularly controversial to the Tumblr crowd (twt maybe but fuck em) #ig my main point with this post is that the game isnt perfect at writing this and also that look. I actually liked the main arc in EW and I #like quite a few garlean characters but I completely understand why others didnt like it or any garleans esp if they have their own persona #experiences with colonialism and I dont get to tell them they're invalid for that. too many people get judgmental about this understandably #upsetting topic and you just gotta accept that this is a big line for many people

[bmpmp3]

I NEEED to go back to making art that makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that theres something wrong with my brain BUT NOT in a cool or stylishly interesting way. i need to do it in a way that makes people say "hm." and walk away

#sowwy ive been kinda going through it in my fine arts major rn can u tell HJKSDHKFd #ive been feeling like. scared. and paralyzed by marketability and branding. #i cant stop thinking about how other people will see my art. but not like in a good way #when i was younger i thought about it in a good way. like hee hee hoo hoo the act of looking connected us hee hee #but rn i keep thinking about it in like this wretched like consumer product mindset? ouhhghhhhh el problema es el capitalismo #and like maybe this works for some people. to think like this. to make art like this. its what my professors push me towards #not intentionally. they dont say it out loud at least. im not sure if they know or not some of the irony #my professors are nice and pretty smart and talented and i like em. but sometimes i wonder like. the push for us as students to make like #marketable 'avant garde'? stuff thats safe but pretending to be weird and out there #i dont mean to sound pretentious. in general i play it too safe myself (spent too much time as an edgy 10 year old with my #parents freaking out over my shoulder because they think the fact that i drew an anime character frowning means something serious LOL) #but i dunno man. my least interesting art with the least amount of care thought or effort always gets so much more attention in school #nowhere else oddly. online? people like my more passionate but seemingly frivolous art (oc art etc. not frivolous to me but yknow how it is #same with irl artists and other industry people outside my school. whats going on in my school LOL #i know from experience i cant push myself into a supposedly marketable brand. if i try to make something sell it will not. #i dont know why. maybe theres an invisible essence buyers can tell when i didnt care jkfsldjdfrds #but my teachers LOOOOVE the stuff i put no passion in its so bizarre orz but i gotta relearn how to ignore half of their advice #i used to be better at it. but i also only used to ignore like a quarter of their advice. maybe i need to amp up how much im ignoring #that sounds mean. they have plenty of good advice. but also plenty of advice thats clouded by their own biases #and i gotta relearn how to sort out this stuff again. i forget every few months for some reason #you know i always think ouuhhhhh i act so neurotypical ouhhhhhhhhh im outgoing i talk to strangers all the time i seem confident #im so masked IM SO MASKED but then i go a couple weeks where every conversation i have has people looking at me like #i have two heads and neither of them are speaking their language. and then i descend into madness like this HJKLDSHJDS #i'll be fine i'll figure it out. i need to stop trying to get a good grade in being a 'cutting edge' conventional artist <3 #i need to just. draw my cartoon characters in peace 😔😔😔

[semothekat]

head in hands heand in hands

#paper is talking #Me when my dad is telling me how good and useful ai art is #How it would be so much easier for me to draw if i used it #That i can just skip the ‘meaningless’ stuff and get exactly my ideas made #Basically like the entire drawing process is meaningless and isnt important #Im not that good at speaking chinese but i said sometihng like ‘then i dont need to draw’ meaning like theres no point in me drawing at all #But i didnt really say the right words to get that meaning across so he said exactly! #Like. #head in hands right now guys #Theres no point in drawing anything if i use ai to make it #Like idk how to explain this in a way that he will understand in a way that isn’t ‘yeah! See now you dont have to work as hard and its so m #So much easier!’ #Idk why but him suggesting whole heartedly that i use ai to draw just ruined my mood eniterely #WHATS THE POINT!!! #In drawing amber and sayu and all my ocs if im not drawing it!! #Whats the point in drawing anything ever agian #Drawing is so fun becuase i made that. #I made that with my own two hands #And its specifically mine. I made that #Like i took the time to figure out how to draw the eye to look just rihgt #i took the time to figure out which colors looked bettter and i took the time to look back at the references and study the characters cloth #s and realize with terror that they have 32847298374 details #I took the time to just not draw all those details #I tookt he time to make it and it is part of me #I dont care if its just amber standing there drawing 548 i made that! #He thinks that the amount of time and effort is a hassle and a problem that should be solved cause it ‘gets in the way of the #Creative process’ #This is the creaive process!!!! #This is the point!! #Top ten reasons im balding

[comradecowplant]

so things are not going well with my new elderly socdem friend unfortunately.

#she said this RIGHT after talking about how bad yt misinfo is... which she followed up w SO I WAS WATCHING A YT DOC ABOUT WW2 & LEARNED THIS #youtube 'historians' are literally the most fascist breed of youtuber. avoid the vast majority like the plague lmao #i asked if the video was sourcing the hollow dahmer & the black book of communism & she didnt seem to know what those are lol #to her credit i told her straight up that she was incorrect & she at least faked being curious about doing more research but i am doubting #she also 'learned' that lenin killed trotsky lol get your propaganda right lenin was dead by then STALIN icepicked him <3 #anyway im making jokes bc the worst part was a different conversation where she spoke positively of israel #THAT'S gonna be the one to ruin our friendship. fuck you & your war tourist friend who fought in the 1960s landgrabs that youre now #telling me as if this is a cute story. nahhhh lmao i looked her straight in the eye & said i will NOT debate this #so she dropped it like the true enlightened centrist most socdem cowards are and i kept cleaning her house quietly #turns out You & Me We're the Only Ones Around Here Who Aren't Complete Fools was premature *kicks the poorly rendered gravel sadly* #shes otherwise a nice lady & i know i need to be more flexible in order to hopefully change ppls minds... #but also when people say awful & untrue things it makes me not want to talk to you 🤷‍♂️ srry 2 b a freak like that #also i know shes not transphobic but i havent sniffed her out well enough to know if shes safe to come out to #so its hours of misgendering (which isnt her fault she doesnt know) bc shes obsessed with neoliberal feminism and inappropriately brings #gender into conversations that it does not belong in #'did you know all the countries that handled covid best were ran by women?' 1) untrue 2) dont care finland still sucks #she also tried to tell me that european rich people learned to be nicer after the french rev & thats why europe is better than america... #girl shut up we learned how to be so good at racism and capitalism BECAUSE of europe. there is no such thing as a good rich person!!! #i pick my battles (genocide & anticommunist genocide revisionism) so i let her cook w that one & was not left convinced as you can imagine #ANYWAY rant about today's weird day done. gonna smoke weed & rim some skies 🥵 while listening to the Khrushchev Lied audiobook i found 😘

[theloveinc]

chubby baby kirishima 😻😻

WAHHHH they’re literal hell to birth but it’s so, so worth it when they end up being the cutest little dough ball anyone has ever seen. Cutest cheeks, cutest arms, cutest thighs… and they’re always smiling, bouncing, chewing on their toes, getting so, so happy whenever you or Kiri pick them up. Every single time they make grabby hands so that you’ll rub their squishy cheek against yours or even give them little raspberries on their belly.

And I’m just thinking about when Kiri has skin to skin time with them, too. You find them on the couch together, their chunky rolls stuck to his as he rubs their back and pats their diaper to help them sleep… all the while trying not to cry over how cute they are🥺🥺🥺

Both of them def get a little upset when you try to move baby to the crib. Kiri’s just… so good w/ babies it makes me want to SCREAM.

(It’s actually a bit scary though, at least before they’re born… cuz maybe 6-7 months into your pregnancy, Kiri is showing you a picture of him as a baby… and then wondering why the sight nearly makes you faint. Dude was so big as an infant, you should’ve know literally all his spawn were gonna come out as big as MELONS.

Takes a while to get over honestly, but by then… it’s too late🤧🤧🤧)

#kirishima #tik tok sound: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME #kiri: WELL OBVIOUSLY I DIDNT KNOW IT WOULD SCARE YOU #you go to the doctor a week later and get told they’re already large for their age and ur just looking at Kiri like 😬😑 #no more babies after this eij #he makes it up to you tho by giving u those v*gina massages that help stretch you out LOL #hope this was okay!!! #I don’t feel like I’m on my game tonight #but #I was just hoping I’d get an ask about babies!!! you read my mind🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 #I was just reading all my kids stuff on ihb too and this reminds me of the ask I got abt Kiri babies always being n*ked fhjfjfnfj #also while I’m here: kiri being an absolutely baby meister…. #u know those things that are like ‘he sees u w a baby and it makes him want one’ #well I see kiri with a baby and I want one LOL #I’m kinda kidding but kiri just being so good w/ infants… being the only one bakugos kid doesn’t scream around #or that Denki’s kids don’t torture #I’m gonna melt #anwyay #anon #caitie things #kids tw #pregnancy tw #gen

[wingl3ssthing]

i’m watching shadow and bone and from my brief tumblr scrolling it seems like kaz is people’s fav but i just truly can’t get over how punchable his face looks

#like sometimes it’ll pan to him and he looks like this >:( for no good reason #unrelated but its v exciting for me how theres super casual queer rep #i didnt know about it so it was #AAAAA SORRY OMH #LINA WHY ARE YOU KISSIMG TGIS CREEPY MAN LINA DONT DOBIY #i can’t belive this 😔 #omg gunslinger and horse boy are making out 🫢 #this is so cringe i’ll stop liveblogging now #anyways this show slays i’m having fun #if there’s drama about it gimme a week before telling me about it #shadow and bone

[diegoshargrieves]

listening to my parents talk about me is so fucking funny. "she's dealt with us for so long that at this point she's done. she's mentally checked out from having to give a shit about anyone. can you believe how corruptible she is just because she's almost an adult and she thinks that we're not her problem anymore?"

like man you are literally so close. so fucking close.

#no it's not that ive dealt with everyone for my whole life and now im selfish and dont want to give a shit about anyone anymore #its that ive dealt with everyone my entire life ive been an emotional support pillar ive been rotting in this toxic dysfunctional household #ive been a third parent ive stepped in for my dad when he spontaneously decides to be a deadbeat ive supported my mom without fail #whenever shes needed it for years. ive dealt with everyones fits of mania & psychosis & breakdowns & chronic pain & depressive episodes #ive had my mental illness trivialized and belitted and downplayed. im exhausted and traumatized and so fucking burned out #of course it looks like ive given up on everyone from the outside because im struggling !! im struggling mentally and emotionally #and its spilling out in all the wrong ways and they just see it as me letting my anger ruin my character and everyone else around me #they dont care if theres something wrong with me even though im throwing out signs and cries for help literally wherever i can #they just care that theyre affected by it and inconvenienced by my deteriorating mental condition #they think this mentally ill freak is just what i am at this point and they cant stop emotionally blackmailing me #by reminiscing about how i used to be so kind and optimistic. i wish they would just fucking see me for once #ive played the role of the good emotional support eldest daughter my entire life. why didnt they think it would blow up at some point #and when i have tried opening up in moments of severe emotional vulnerability they just throw it back in my face later on #while simultaneously telling me i just need to change my outlook on life because im still young and cant define myself by childish problems #mom you are depressed and anxious you should recognize it better than anyone. you should be able to see it for what it is #instead of telling me to go spend a week volunteering at a cancer hospital so i can go see what real problems exist for people in the world #and what other people are going through and maybe ill come out with a new appreciation for life #mom just bc people are dying of cancer doesnt mean i can't be depressed just bc other people have it worse doesnt mean i cant have it bad #im so fucking tired! #3 am vent post yippee i am going to regret oversharing on the internet so badly when i wake up tmrw

[twinvictim]

1. How do I like a character whose entire life revolves around trying to save her brother no matter what she has to do because she loves him that much more than a character whose only personality is being really antagonistic and aggressively misogynisticly obsessed with a woman who at one point moved to a different part of the country partially to get away from him? Gee idk

2. I would like Akiyama more, like maybe Kazama and Sagawa tier If the games were more interested in pointing out that he's a horrible person. And he is. And maybe I'd like that he was a bad person more if I wasn't always being told he's a good person. It also just irks me that he's treated like he has real problems. Especially next to fucking Saejima and even Kiryu when he kinda just does a lot of this shit to himself and its easily fixable. He feels like a self insert anime protagonist in a way that annoys me. Sorry he's just not ad good a character as someone like Haruka or Daigo

3. It's my list

#crimson tomes #I AM BEING PETTY dont worry ab it #you could not have chosen two characters i feel much differently about. i mean granted i might bump Yasuko down a little but i like that- #she stole money from Akiyama and killed people and hss a big nose shes so awesome #i wish nagumo had died in 6 and im not joking i wouldve cheered ao loud #also man Akiyama annoys me but hes sometimes funny. which is why i dont HATE him and i like that hes completely wrong and useless in y5 #hes literally a bad person. he told a mom she didnt need his help bc she didnt immediately get a job as a sex worker bc he told her too #hes endlessly weird and creepy about yasuko. like she sort of opens up to him as a friend and he just forcibly kisses her. #bc she looks like his ex girlfriend.he doesnt actually care about her #and agsin. if the games didnt tell me hes a good guy i would like him more. #like they sort of do thst with Kazama but its shown hes a more complicated character outside of kiryus pov and hes also a good manipulator #im not mad i just love to complain and tslk about how i feel about characters even the ones i Hate