#why am i like thiiis | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fannyyann · 4 days

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hiiii! I totally agree with that Leon anon from a couple days ago, and am so happy I’m not the only one who feels this way. I accidentally fell into mattdrai fandom last year (late, I know) and LOVE the way fanon leon is portrayed in fics but I always found canon leon to be so cold and really had to struggle to root for him or even like him in IRL.

that has now changed due to watching some oilers+ behind the scenes content of him where I realized his cuntiness is just his sense of humor. I also think he is just one of those people who can’t ever NOT be completely BLUNT, which is jarring in hockey where few players ever show personality in interviews. I recommend anon seek out some of the oilers+ stuff as well as watch the Connor/Darnell Nurse interview where they talk about how Leon likes to do impressions of people, which is very lol to me? also that interview with mitch marner where he says HE dragged celeste to see Barbie loooool. anyway I know this is a matthew blog and not a leon blog so I’ll stop but tldr: my wife’s a bitch and I love her!

p.s. I agree that it can sometimes be annoying when matthew is ALWAYS so babygirl in fics but I think that’s because he is one of the few nhl players who shows vulnerability in his interviews and people know SO much about his family so they have thousands of narratives that they project onto him. neither of those things are true for leon.

omg anon, you really had me in the first half I was like “why are you shitting on my guy like thiiis 😭😭😭” but I’m glad you get it now!

He has a very dry delivery and there’d be no mattdrai at all if he hadn’t tried to joke about getting off the ice and instead of being taken as the deadpan sort of joke delivers a lot, it landed poorly and took on an entire life of its own lmao

my favorite part of Leon’s sense of humor is when he waits for the joke to land and starts laughing when it’s well received it’s so cute and DWEEBY

also, now that you mention it I wonder if he and Celeste ever did see the Barbie movie together because he only said that he had suggested it iirc?? Cabbie we need a follow up!!!

And yes, Matthew is a very projectable slate for fandom, but I would say a lot of the things, like the daddy issues and the inferiority complexes, could be projected onto Leon too, and I really think being so blunt with his emotions, and letting the public see how deeply affected he is by losing is a type of vulnerability that fandom doesn’t appreciate.

But also! Matthew is my undisputed #1 but you never have to apologize for talking to me about Leon! I absolutely adore him

#Leon ask

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ourgoodfriendjonathan · 2 years

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I don't even know what to post about today. I'm just going to process my thoughts and feelings here

The head of a giant wolf burst through Lucy's bedroom window

It killed her mother. She made a gurgling sound and took Lucy's garlic flowers, her only protection (!), as a last power move to doom her daughter

Jack was attacked with a knife

All the dogs in the whole neighborhood were howling

What was that ringing bell?

The maids were all asleep because somebody spiked the wine with laudanum? Why??

They screamed as they flocked out of the room and mere minutes (seconds?) later, they were knocked out. I picture them on the floor and comically sprawled out over the chairs and the table. I wonder if lucy heard flops and booms of them toppling over.

Renfield was licking up the blood

Jack was still weakened from the blood transfusion, and now even more. The poor lad can't catch a break

Oh god how will he react to Lucy's memorandum 😳

“I did wish that Dr. Seward was in the next room— as Dr. Van Helsing said he would be — so that I might have called him.” 😭 i wish that too lucy, and jack too

The telegram arrived too late whyyyy that is so

That is so

The vibe change omygod, to mina. I sooo wanted to hear from mina but not like this!! I wanted to be happy about her and now i almost feel resentful that she didn't "run op to town" even though she's completely innocent here.

Mina asking Lucy what she'll wear on the wedding 😭 Lucy hasn't spared a thought on the wedding in weeks, mina, and neither have we

Jfc the way lucy described the past days/weeks, it sounds so bloody terrifying. "Darkness in which there was not even the pain of hope to make present distress more poignant."

She was alone in a house full of sleeping maids, with her dead mother in her bed, with a broken window where a giant wolf just jumped through. That is... That is...

Severely traumatising.

I fear for Jack. How can he be attacked like that in his own office? They need better security

Jonathan "sometimes starts out of his sleep in a sudden way and awakes all trembling" 😭 i feel so bad for him

I really fear the doctors will be too late this time. Lucy never opened Mina's letter

She never read Mina's letter

It felt like Dracula was everywhere. He was the bat, the wolf, the howling dogs, he was in the very air

Mina's letter (unopened by lucy) 😭 why didn't you open it lucy

Lucy wake uuup, i don't like thiiis

Jack punched renfield!! Sprawling him on the floor! Get him boii!!

"Happily Van Helsing has not summoned me" :) – Telegram Van Helsing: "do not fail to be there" omg, the immediate juxtaposition

Mina's letter was such

It was such

We wanted that letter so badly

But not like this

"I am getting so strong again that I hardly know myself. It is as if I had passed through some long nightmare, and had just awakened to see the beautiful sunshine and feel the fresh air of the morning around me." <- such a mood. I felt like that after going home from the hospital once, all fixed up after months of sickness. One of the weirdest feelings ever

Aby baby, why, why didn't you put the county on the telegram? British mail why didn't you deliver it anyway? :(

Why couldn't Dracula pick another victim?? Someone with a death wish or something. Why can't he just stop eating all together, he won't die anyway will he.

Fuck Dracula, for real!! he has lost all of his charm to me!! So what that he cooks and cleans and likes trains and is so polite when he welcomes you in, i do not like him anymore, he's pathetic! Intrusive and pushy and insatiable. Napping angrily and flapping against poor dear Lucy's window like that. Fuck off

The fact that Lucy's mother was instantly scared of the flapping. Lucy suffered weeks of that fright.

Lucy knew. She been known. Something in her knew the flapping was related to her condition. I think that's very interesting. How does her mind work?

Van Helsing is going to come back to this

Jack will be devestated

Arthur

Arthur :(

#dracula daily #September 17 #long post #didn't know if i had to use a read more

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unoisveimved-un-proffesional · 1 month

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Lots of thoughts not really important.

I kiiiiiinnnnda feel like a hypocrite going on about "Local Community Action" when like, I remain indoors for sometimes days and am, not doing anything like that really, but that's because I have my share of issues, it's all personal problems that I'm trying to work on on to eventually start getting out and working on bigger things, get myself in a position where I can do that. It doesn't matter if a ship is 10% done or 90% done, anything less than 100 won't sail, and it definitely won't swim.

You know it's not my choice to not be doing what I want to do, what I'd love to be doing, I'd fucking love so goddamn much to talk with actually like minded people who I can trust on some level, and do real work, I want to stretch my arms and legs on something and really get some mileage out of my body, my voice, fingers, and shoulders. You know I'm not choosing not to, I can't in the state I'm in, and my efforts need to be going first to, fixing aaaallll thiiis (gesturing to me and my everything) before I can really get out there.

I'm coming down off of losing everything, literally, half of what I owned on top of and including a piece of land I (almost) owned, (including so much fucking construction grade wood, steel, tarps, tools, an RV packed full of shit, VHS tapes, two generators (one stopped working, there was a third one that was stolen) and a car, so much really) putting me into homelessness until I got an apartment and then was wrongfully evicted and made homeless again before striking a good deal on this trailer I was just housesitting and planning to eventually squat in since it hadn't been touched in forever. Hell before I started paying for an acre and a half of land I was homeless staying out of an old friends spare room, because before that, I was living in a camp ground moving lot to lot every week so I couldn't be legally removed. Before that, it was a different camp ground, before that it was someone else's (crack)house, before that I don't even remember, probably because of the drinking. I've had it rough, on top of personality shit like trauma and disorders, aaaaaallll thiiiisss (gesturing to me and my everything)

And I still fucking housed and fed other people, (who maybe I shouldn't have) built houses for people, on a shoestring and button budget but I still did it, and gave my money to hobo's and charities and all that. Hell it's probably why I'm not currently in a better situation.

Maybe joining some kind of, something would improve my life directly, like I'd get donations to help with my poverty or something, and be put to work and paid, but I always just assume based on experience something like that would ask more from me than I'd get from it. I don't want to have to ask for help, I should be there to help people. Another one of my issues on top of, aaaalllll thiiiisss, (you know).

#hexacles.txt #pentacles talks #it's pronounced pen tuh cleese

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multi-lefaiye · 2 years

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💬💬💬 and pen for eden!!!!!

yes thank u <3 heheeeee

okay so the first excerpt is gonna be from one of my flash fiction friday entries, a tftgs fic specifically:

For much of his life, Jack has felt like a used battery. He feels like an old, broken thing, low on energy and with very little left to give. He supposes it was only a matter of time before someone decided to throw him out.

and thiiis is from an older thing i wrote that i might go back to at some point?? not sure though. not gonna give context for now tho <3 (if you recognize the characters. don't look me in the eye rn i know this is self-indulgent):

“Did you just shoot someone!?” Saeyoung cried, still clearly panicking.

“I don’t know, maybe?” Addison replied, trying to drag him along as they tried to avoid looking in the direction they'd just fired. “Just get in the car, asshole!”

“Sorry, I kind of have a bullet in me right now!” he protested, but still did his best to get to his feet. “I told you to stay in the car!”

“Have your goddamn lovers’ quarrel later!” Vanderwood yelled at them over the sound of gunfire raining down on them all.

and theeen this is for another slightly older thing, but i like the comedy here :3

For a moment, Henry just stared at the unconscious man on his living room floor. Then he asked the question that was nagging at the back of his mind. “Why the fuck is he naked?”

AND a little Eden conversation!!! I'm gonna talk a bit about something I haven't talked about publicly in much detail: Eden's chronic pain and fatigue. I haven't talked about it in Great detail because I'm still trying to research n' such to make sure that my portrayal is as faithful and respectful as I can make it.

I won't go into how it's going to come into play story-wise in the campaign, nor the mechanics and accommodations and such planned for this, but I'll talk a bit about it! Under the cut though b/c this might be a bit long.

So Eden's mother, Hannah, dealt with chronic illness for most of her life. In the campaign, it's kind of an ambiguous illness because she wouldn't have had access to modern terminology (or even really a specific diagnosis in general, considering the healthcare available where she lived), but I think the closest to what she has would be fibromyalgia, which is what I'm focusing my research on for Eden.

(And also, if I do go ahead and write a standalone story/WIP with Eden outside of the campaign, this will be discussed and explored in greater detail since the focus would be on him specifically a bit more.)

The research I've done so far does say that fibromyalgia isn't always necessarily passed directly from parent to child, but I'm thinking it's still something that Eden has, and after his death and resurrection his symptoms start to flare up in a way they wouldn't have beforehand.

Like I said, I am still doing research into this because I want to give the most earnest, respectful portrayal I can, but I do still have some thoughts about Eden's personal experiences with it and how he processes it. Because Eden's thought process is my favorite thing to explore.

So Eden approaches everything in his life from a very analytical perspective, so once he registers that his symptoms aren't normal he immediately goes into analysis mode and tries to determine, to an incredibly exact degree, what his limits are. He's a scientist at heart, and his response to every situation is to experiment and learn everything he can.

This will have... mixed results for him. On one hand, over time, Eden will come to understand his condition very well, even without necessarily having access to a specific diagnosis in the campaign itself. On the other hand, it also means that Eden is going to push himself a TON and possibly seriously hurt himself trying to see how far he can go before he has issues.

I'm still looking into specific accommodations Eden could have as time goes on, but I'm definitely thinking mobility aids would be very useful for him--particularly forearm support crutches, if possible.

And last thing I do wanna say. While it might be easy to assume that, all things considered, Eden would be very against the idea of using mobility aids b/c he's just so stubborn.... that's not the case! Eden is a stubborn li'l asshole, but once he understands his limits better I do think he would want mobility aids and would actively seek them out.

Aaanyway okay I still have a lot of research n' such to be doing, but that's some of my thoughts so far!!! Thanks for coming to my ted talk

#talk to the bunnykitty #eden linnaeus #bat time all the time #oc ask game #ask game #i love thinking about eden so so much #he means so much to me #and also all of these snippets delight me <3

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arbustorum · 1 year

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I am literally going insane over the logical acrobatics the "cuties" are performing throughout the chapter and particularly the last page. Riley, sweetie, don't feel guilty, it's okay to not understand this bullshit. Gender identity is like golf: it's made up by people with a lot of free time and a lot of money who somehow couldn't develop a real personality.

cant stop gendie "logic".... its literally a faith based religion so its just like "why do you believe x" and the answers are all like "how could you ask such a thiiiing" or "i dont believe x, just (x but worded vaguely)"

#maretext #leasebound spoilers #leasebound

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pallas-cat · 2 years

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there's the march for climate in an hour and i act like it'll be a chore why am i like thiiis

#very lit student who doesn't read #I WILL GO im just burnt out from a week on the road

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2-wuv · 2 years

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i really appreciated y'all's recommendations, kimya dawson is one of those artists where everything they produce becomes a favorite of mine. you don't need to worry about doubles, it's a non-issue for us.

my recommendations for today are: stiff competition by cheap trick for billy, prove my love by the violent femmes for steve, blister in the sun also by the violent femmes for your jonathan, and anthem by pansy division for eddie (their song fem in a black leather jacket was a contender because it sounds like a song about eddie, but anthem sounds like the one he'd have more fun singing).

!!!! OKAY COOL COOL COOL GLAD TO KNOW /POSITIVE bc we. Love doubles all of us do LMAO

And!!!!!!!!! All those song are SO fucking good!! Violent Femmes is definitely growing on us as a hyperfixation band, we're gonna have to sit down one day soon n listen to their whole discography goddamn

Stiff Competition is def going on Billy's playlist it is SO catchy and fun tbh, and both pansy division songs are also great!! our Mains listen to em every now n then we should also listen to their entire discography huh. Perhaps someday,,, When our brain lets us just Listen To Music All Day </3 Dunno when that'll be though lmao

Anyways here's our recs for today too!!:

Dead Rats - Against Me! (Eddie's suggestion)! Against Me has so many good songs but this one's always our go-to when we wanna listen to their shit idk why. Just very catchy sound-wise!

Anxiety Song - Human Petting Zoo (my suggestion)! Short sweet n too the point, I prefer the version on their self titled EP but the version off their album UFO is also very good, the EP ver is just,, much more Raw which I like a lot

Drown With Me - Porcupine Tree (Steve's suggestion)! Now thiiis is where our memory gets fuzzy. We don't recall if we suggested this one already, not gonna lie. We'll check in a lil bit though! As for the song itself, Steve really relates to this song source-wise. He remembers the whole uhh. Pool Incident™ happening to him too. It's helped him cope with that, but it's also just a Very good song by a Very good band in general—it's been one of our go-to songs for when we need to ground ourselves bc we find it super calming!

We're In This Together - Nine Inch Nails (Billy's suggestion)! This one is kinda cheating I suppose since it's a system-wide favourite /lighthearted. Billy likes to listen to this a lot when Max is around front too, nowadays they've got a really close friendship and I'm happy for them tbh. He likes dedicating songs to everyone that he's close to in-sys (as we all do honestly lmao) and he dedicates this one to Max especially!

BONUS 5TH ONE BECAUSE YOU MENTIONED 5 SONGS LMAO: This Song Is A Curse - Frank Iero!! Very silly but fun and has catchy guitars and lyrics, I adore this song it's just. Very fun!! i would 1000% put this on my Spotify playlist if it was fucking oN Spotify but alas! It isn't! </3 And despite it being written specifically for A Disney Movie Of All Goddamn Things, it's still. Relatable in a way to me! tl;dr: good song, Frank Put It On Spotify Immediately I Am Begging You,

-Jonathan

#anon friend #music recs anon #Sorry for being a tad hyperactive like I said. We love doubles here. Ultimate positive fronting trigger for any fictives we have #last night I listened 2 half of frank's discography #& so far most of my favourite songs by him aren't on spotify. homophobia I tell you! /joke -Jonathan #EVERYONE ELSE LOVES THE SUGGESTIONS BTW but if we let everyone type things we'd be here for hours #this reply has already taken us like an hour so far I think LMAO

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scorpiothesaint · 17 days

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oc rambles: [dex/jo], [jo & baz]

the 1st is a very casual thing i rattled off in response to a writing club prompt for star wars day 2 weeks ago. dex & jo proving yet again why rick ross - hustlin' should be their theme song

the 2nd is the beginning of a short story that i need to rebuild from the ground up, but i like this scene by itself sm that i wanna preserve it. this one is jo & baz' initial bonding moment in a convenience store

-> dex & jo are are the same characters (black girl n redhead guy) from my finished flash piece 'blank'!

-> baz is my delightful faith evans-lookalike oc who gets a girl crush (and eventually a Crush crush) on jo lmao

STAR WARS [dex/jo, 150 wds]

You fumbled the bag, Dex says.

How so? Jo’s incredulous, sounding that way she always does when she’s convinced she can do no wrong. Which is most days. Dex is used to it.

You missed the window.

Fuck you, i missed the window. Isn’t today that nerd thing? May 4th. I put stuff on sale just for it.

You don’t put things for a special on the day of – well, you can if it’s a flash sale, but you don’t do a unannounced flash sale on a major holiday–

/Why/, Dex, get to the point–

He rolls his eyes, keeps counting the money. You advertise sales AHEAD of time JoJo, I didn’t think I needed to tell you some 101 on how to fleece nerds.

It’s not Comic Con, hubby, you really think a extra couple hours –

--If I didn’t think it makes a difference I wouldn’t have brought it up!

Boy, I am thiiis close to taking a damn. Aggrieved spouse tax out on that shit. Interest out the wazoo. Won’t have any coins left to get a STAMP of a lightsaber.

2. FAWN [jo & baz, 600 wds]

Baz met Jo in a mirror.

It was the chrome dome in the low ceiling by the liquor aisle. Baz was out of high school graduation before her cap hit the ground. She’d peeled out of the parking lot in her junker car with the broken A/C and had completely sweat out her baby hairs by the time she got to the corner store. As she fixed them – craning her neck and squinting at her reflection while she gelled synthetic blonde edges back into submission – a tall girl came up beside her and started primping too.

The girl broke the ice before Baz could even get the bad anxiety hot flashes. 613 gang, she said, nodding at Baz’ bent glass image and fussing with her own jet black high pony. She did it one handed; the other hand cradled a liter of Grey at her bony hip. She noticed Baz noticing. Got the Goose by the neck, she said. The Black lovechild of JLo and Jolie. Smolder eyes, pillow lips. Swan neck. Fat ass. Rocking Matrix chic just like Baz.

The good anxiety hot flashes came on and Baz was saying way too much about finally leaning into years of Faith Evans comparisons with the 613 platinum wig. The girl listened like Baz was a Normal Person and then talked about another famous blonde, one Ms. Barbara Eden, whom she was always trying to channel with hair style if not color. Then she explained that that was just her go-to bullshit response to years of I Dream of Jeannie jokes. If it’s one thing about Jo James, she said, it’s that she will not be leaving the house with her hair down, okay?

I dream of Joey with the jet black hair, Baz thought.

I’m Baz, she said aloud.

What’s that mean?

I don’t know if it means anything by itself. Baz slicked down the last of the errant edges. She put her brush and gel back in her purse without looking away from Jo in the mirror. But it’s short for Basilica. People say it’s pretty and I swear they’re lying.

Jo kept looking right back. Baz is pretty too.

Jo finished her hair (which hadn’t looked undone to begin with, in Baz’ eyes) and pulled Baz down about six more conversational rabbit holes that culminated in the two of them exchanging socials. They both had to look away from the mirror to find and follow the right accounts.

Then they faced each other.

Jo was a dark sun and Baz was the overfed flower trying to take in the weird, lovely rays. They stood in silence. Jo suddenly seemed to register Baz’ blue grad gown unzipped over her outfit.

Hey, she said. Congrats.

She slipped out the store the back way.

Baz let herself be dazed for a few moments before she finally went about picking up her graduation presents to herself. Precious snack cakes and Slim Jims cradled in one arm like Jo with her vodka. Used the other hand to point out the Swisher Sweets she wanted behind the clerk’s counter. Carded and checked out by one clerk while the other worked on a midshift count.

By the time Baz left (out the front way, like a Normal Person), the clerks were bickering about the count.

Baz was on the road before she realized the till was short the exact amount of a liter of Grey Goose plus tax.

#dex hamilton (oc)#not the cartoon character from like discovery but a guy i made up who coincidentally has the same name #jo james #baz houston #ocs #characters of color #black characters #wips #writing #scorpio the scribe #writeblr #short fiction #lgbtq fiction #literary fiction #oc rambles #original fiction

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alecelijah · 5 years

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Farmer: do I look like a snacc?

Elliott: My dear, you are nothing short of a three-course meal

#sdv #stardew valley #stardew elliott #why am i like thiiis #i'm trying to sleep and i think of this shit

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le-sejour · 7 years

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Just Like You, Only Sweeter

Words: 1976

Pairing: wouldn’t u like to know jk it’s Thomas Jefferson x Reader with a surprise

World: Modern AU

Warning: Sexy, sexy things in here mhm (not smut tho, but pretty suggestive), also profanity and actual dickbaggery, angst

A/N: Hey hey hey hey hey so on this episode of “shouldn’t be writing this because I have requests to fill but still wrote it anyway” So I’ve been listening to my old music playlist back in 2010-ish? and ya kno how teenagers are w their edgy music and #Relatable lyrics. This fic was the love child of listening to All American Rejects and Fall Out Boy. Points if you can guess which songs inspired these lmao

Thomas groaned in pleasure, his hands gripping your hips tightly as you peppered kisses down his jaw to his neck. God, you were beautiful. So, so beautiful.

“Who has to know?”

You murmured against his skin as you mounted him, your black-lined eyes half-lidded and the stink of alcohol unmistakably heavy on your breath.

He knew this was just a one-night stand. A rebound. And he was perfectly fine with that. Your ex, Alexander Hamilton, had actually grown a pair big enough to come crawling back to Eliza, the woman he cheated on, leaving you to rot in your head for weeks on end.

You had planned on sulking around your apartment watching Friends reruns and binging on ice cream. Thomas had suggested getting drinks.

“He told me he would make it right with me.” You had sobbed into your multicolored drink, tears smudging your mascara somewhat. Your dark-skinned companion tried not to stare too much, but found that he couldn’t help it. You were mesmerizing even when you looked like a blotchy raccoon. His heart clenched. “He said he envisioned a future with me! A family an-and kids!”

“Hamilton’s an idiot, [F/Name].” He murmured matter-of-factly, instinctively using his thumb to wipe your tears away. He felt her skin jump at the contact. “He had the most scintillating woman in New York City, and he let it go. It’s his loss.”

His breath hitched when you looked up at him through damp lashes, still managing to look enticing despite crying for over three hours. His mind went into overdrive, desperately trying to keep the trickle of feelings at bay.

He watched with controlled interest as you worried your bottom lip, his heart beat pounding loudly in his ears. He can’t allow himself to give in. It was better this way, he chanted in his head like a mantra.

But oh, how her eyes shined iridescent against the dark.

“Would you have done the same, Thomas?” You whispered, leaning into him ever so slightly. His control was hanging by a thread. “Would you have left me like he did?”

He stared into your eyes once more, losing himself in them as he all but gave in to his desires.

“Never.” He whispered, voice strained and thick with want.

You closed the gap between you two, pressing your lips hungrily against his. You needed the friction, the intimacy. You wanted to feel wanted. And when you reached completion late into the night, your head thrown back in bliss as his hands still gripped your hips tightly, you’d like to think you were.

You never saw him around in the weeks following your drunken tryst. It was as if he never existed. He wasn’t in his apartment, or his favorite bar, or the library. You even tried visiting his workplace, but all you got was his secretary telling you he had opted to work from home.

Oh.

The silent walk back to your apartment was filled with sniffling and attempts to choke back your sobs, going through your memories of that night.

Did you say anything wrong? Was the sex bad? He had seemed so eager to bed you, and the morning after was spent lazing around and cuddling his apartment. What did you do? What changed that night after you went home?

You tried to ignore the tightening in your chest as you reached the front steps of your apartment building, but there was only so much you could do to reign in your emotions. Collapsing onto the steps, you sobbed uncontrollably into your hands.

Why is this happening to you? Didn’t Thomas like you? Didn’t Alexander like you? Did anyone like you?

“[F/Name]?”

You looked up from your pathetic, curled position, tears still streaming down your cheeks. Your heart seemed to heal instantly as you recognized those head of curls.

“Thomas.”

Thomas Jefferson was not an emotionally intelligent man.

He was cunning, and crafty, and wise beyond his years. But you’d be damned to think he was, in any way, in complete control of anything that doesn’t involve his head.

After your pity romp, he was a mess. The moment you kissed him had opened the dam that held all the things he felt for you at bay. It flooded out into every kiss, every stroke, every breathy moan he made because of your ministrations. It seeped into everything he touched.

And he was terrified.

He wanted to be with you every second of every day so badly it hurt. He wanted to care for you, support you. Be the reason for your smiles and laughter. The need to be yours never used to be this intense. It was jarring.

So he left.

It was much easier to be your friend. He could occasionally flirt with you without consequence, and you could spill every thought and opinion to him when even Alexander had trouble wheedling it out of you. Nothing was complicated, nothing was at stake. You both worked better that way. It was better that way.

Wasn’t it?

A month had passed, then two, into his self-imposed isolation and he began to doubt himself. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he had let himself overthink your situation. But…

God, he was a jackass.

He had left you. You came to him in your hour of need and he took advantage of it. He left you for dead after being so intimate with you. You needed him, you were in pieces. And he left you.

You probably hated him. No, he was sure you hated him. With everything he’s done, he wouldn’t be surprised. He left you after explicitly saying he wouldn’t.

He’s definitely fucked up this time.

Grabbing his jacket, he made his way to the door. He didn’t know what he was going to do, or how to do it, he just knew he needed to make this right somehow.

You nervously picked at the assortment of flowers on your lap, your stomach churning with anticipation and nerves. Of course, you’ve practiced this whole thing plenty of times before. But actually being here, today, was definitely more than you bargained for.

“Hey,” You turned your head to acknowledge the voice, smiling slightly as you see the familiar face of James Madison. “It seems like almost everyone is here.”

The smile on your face was shaky at best, the anxiety in your eyes shining through. “Yeah? That’s-that’s good…”

James smiled at you reassuringly before stepping into the backseat with you. His warm presence enveloped the car, giving you a slight confidence boost. “You’re nervous.”

You laughed. “Is it that obvious?”

“It’s normal.” He answered, taking the bouquet from you before you pluck all the petals out. “What’s worrying you?”

“God,” Exhaling, you looked up, tears inexplicably welling in your eyes. “I don’t- This is insane. I never would have thought…”

The man beside you simply nodded in response, letting you have the moment to express yourself.

“Two years ago, I never would have imagined…” You trailed off, fanning your face in an attempt to blink back tears. “He’s everything I’ve hoped for and more, James. I-I’m scared that I’ll wake up and find myself on the front steps of my old apartment again…”

You were seated on a park bench, sun shining like a halo on you, as Thomas watched you laugh. Your hair fluttered gracefully as you threw your head back. He smiled, memorizing every curve and hollow of your face. He reveled in the fact that he was right. You were beautiful through and through.

His hand wandered slyly to your thigh, making you turn to him with an unreadable gaze. He smiled innocently, those pearly whites of his shining unabashedly. You rolled your eyes as your hands found his and laced your fingers together.

How could he have been that lucky?

He leaned over and whispered in your ear, causing you to turn red and shift in your seat. He pulled away to look at you, his eyes darkening with desire. Oh, how he wished to be the friction in those jeans you wore.

You leaned in to press a passionate kiss on his lips, your hands coming up to cradle his cheeks. He pulled you closer by the waist, nibbling on your bottom lip gently before separating.

With the grace of a cat, he pulled you up with him and brushed a stray lock of hair away from your face, murmuring how he wanted to get you home and in bed as soon as possible.

How could you have been this lucky?

James led you to the huge cathedral doors, your gown flowing easily around you, while the veil you wore drifted to and fro at every move you made.

“Are you ready, [F/Name]?” You looked up as a fresh pool of tears made its way to your eyes.

“Thank you, Jemmy… For everything.” You whispered, throwing your arms around him in a tight, tearful hug. He returned the hug just as fiercely, your head tucked under his chin.

“I would never leave you alone like that, [F/Name].” He murmured, his voice thick with emotion and an edge you couldn’t describe. “Now go, Mulligan is waiting to walk you down the aisle.”

Nodding, you reluctantly let go of the man you had quickly considered a best friend within the two years you’ve known each other for. Straightening your back, you walked through the cathedral doors, entering the small lobby just before the main hall.

“And [F/Name].” James called out, causing you to turn slightly while Hercules fussed with your gown. “Remember, this is real. It’s real, and you deserve this.”

You beamed at him, watery and emotional, before being led away.

James stared into the cathedral, watching you float down the aisle like a cloud. Your back was turned to him but he could feel the happiness radiating from you as you passed friends and family.

A few seconds later, without as much as a turn of his head, he called out a name that hasn’t crossed his lips for a while now.

“Thomas.”

Without missing a beat, a figure loomed behind the smaller man before taking his place beside him.

“James.”

The Virginian, like his companion, stared straight into the cathedral, watching you finally reach the man who had helped you pick up the pieces. The man he saw making you laugh that day at the park. The lucky bastard who now gets to spend his days with you, build a family with you, grow old with you. All the things Thomas could now only dream about.

“Gilbert will make her happy.” James said, as if hearing the other man’s thoughts. They always did have an unnerving knack for reading the other. Thomas rolled his eyes.

“He has the most scintillating woman in New York City. Of course he’ll make her happy. He’d be an idiot not to…”

The other man said nothing, merely coughing into his handkerchief as silence fell over the pair of them.

“You know why she’s taken such a liking to him, right?”

Thomas opted not to reply, instead choosing to watch you recite your vows. He knew you were beautiful even on a normal day, but today you were simply breathtaking, even from his perch by the large, ornate doors. What he wouldn’t do to be the man standing at the altar with you.

“You left a bad taste in her mouth, Thomas.” They continued to watch the wedding, watched as you exchanged rings, watched as the priest gave people like Thomas a chance to speak. “Gilbert… He’s just like you. Only, sweeter.”

Silence filled the air of the cathedral as they waited for anyone to protest the union.

Thomas finally turned to James, his eyes brimming with tears as a few already trailed down his cheeks.

“I know.”

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