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pastafossa · 4 months

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The last day of 2023.

And holy shit has it been a chaotic ride, one which you all shared with me, or that's what it feels like!

The Major Moments:

Feb: Cato's cancer diagnosis and discovery of weird mutated cells that likely won't be explained until after he passes away. He's still with me, fortunately! No idea how much time he has left but I'm grateful for every second

April: a small leak in my dining room ceiling turned into a bigger leak which turned into a massive hole in the ceiling, at least it wasn't winter???

May: DD Born Again Photos give us all a goddamn heart attack

May: I FUCKING REACH MY OVERALL 1,000,000 WORD COUNT ON AO3. 🎊 🎉 🎊 Next stop is 1mill for TRT!

June: Went to my first con since Covid! Drove all the way down to Philly to see Charlie Cox, WHICH WAS FUCKING AMAZING, HE HELD THE RED THREAD FOR OUR PHOTO, MY FANFIC DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE, AND I TOLD HIM WHAT DD MEANS TO ME AND HE WAS SO NICE I COULD CRY

June: At that same con, I finally FINALLY got to meet my bff @wonderlandmind4 in person after many many many late nights of chatting, and we just CLICKED like we'd been friends for years, which I should have expected, but still! And then I got to meet a bunch of my readers, too! Best con experience EVER

July: enter Whoops Covid Finally Got Me After 3 Years But Charlie Was Worth It ™

July: Finally dusted off my draft of Pasta's First Dark Fic cause even if my brain was too fuzzy to write, I figured I could edit a bit. And I did! And was pretty happy with the results!

August: Shit Now There's A Long Covid Heart Issue And I Can't Be Seen Until Late November Thanks Covid ®

August: leak in the garage leads to me losing about 65% of all the beautiful, special woods pieces I'd gathered over the course of six years for carving. Within a week I am gifted a huge bin of wood from a kind soul at my local witchy shop

Sept: TRT's 6th anniversary!

Nov: I was slowly getting back into the swing of things, doing a bit of writing in between learning to manage whatever was going on with my heart (which we'll hopefully figure out in January when I get all the results of testing in Jan)

Early Dec, and the worst week of my life: mom got sick. Within one day she went from not feeling good to needing an ambulance. By the next day, she was in the ICU - flu induced double pneumonia that was interfering with her breathing and heart issues. And with one more day, she was put into an induced coma and ventilated, without any of us sure if she'd pull through. They told us she'd likely be under for two weeks, potentially longer even if she made it. The amount of messages and supportive comments I got from all of you, the talks I had with @wonderlandmind4 and @shouldbestudying41, just the general sense of having a community to help me means more than I can ever say as you all helped me through that terrible, horrible moment, even if it was just gently messaging me to remind me to try to eat.

Mid Dec: against ALL odds, Mom was off the ventilator in a week. By week 2, she was out of the ICU. By week 3? Off to the physical rehab center. She was there a grand total of 1 week before she was allowed to come home to finish her recovery. Early December was the worst moment of my life, and yet it was also bookended by the best Christmas of my life even if it was spent at the rehab center, because I got to have my mama back, and hug her and tell her I loved her and make jokes, and now she's home and we've been watching Christmas movies and eating grilled cheeses, and as far as I'm concerned, that's what the holiday is to me: not presents and snow and lights, but this moment, this time with her. 'In all the places you find love, it feels like Christmas.'

In just a few hours for me, it'll be 2024. I have no idea what to expect going forward, or even what to plan for, much less a resolution. I know I want to get back to TRT when mom's a bit better (she still needs a lot of help, understandably). I know there are wood carvings I want make; friends I want to visit; witchy events at my local shop I want to go to. But other than that... who knows? If I'm lucky, things will be calmer than this past year. But even if they aren't, at least I know I have dear friends, all of you, and my family, including Pasta Mama, to help me through it.

Goodbye, 2023. Hello, 2024.

#new years #tw: sick parent #tw: sick pet #i have had a doozy of a year #and i truly don't think i'd have gotten through it without all of you #i feel like my life was just one great big tilt a whirl this year #incredible highs and incredible lows #we'll just have to see what 2024 brings #thank you to all of you this year #for your chats and messages #your comments and reaching out #it hasn't exactly been a smooth ride this year and i'm so grateful to all of you that helped push that metaphorical car up the hill with me #we'll see what comes this next year

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ritzyreils · 1 year

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you gave me your heart, you know. you’d like me to give it back to you, whole again.

well i won’t.

#the locked tomb #harrow the ninth #harrowhark nonagesimus #gideon the ninth #gideon nav #ooh man…. this one was a doozy #i’m super proud of it though #i don’t do super rendered stuff a lot #so this was definitely #A Challenge #i couldn’t get the image of harrow holding on so tightly to gideons soul out of #my head #what can i say #digital art #procreate #artists on tumblr #fan art #fanart #reilsart

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front-facing-pokemon · 11 months

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#wingull #i've started saying that anything that looks funny staring straight at the camera has “ffp syndrome.” just as a noun. i think it makes sense #but. i think wingull has a bit of ffp syndrome. bc this one is pretty good. but i always love pokémon with big beaks. they're usu the best #just wait 'til you guys see pelipper. THAT one is gonna be a doozy #not sure when i'm queueing this up if that's gonna be later today or the next day but it's a good one #wingull is definitely *a* pokémon. 4x weakness to electric is like good for me because i love electric-types and i always use them #so it makes the whole wingull line ohkos for me in most playthrus but y'know. wingull is like. it's okay #i like the whole seagull thing going on but what's its shtick‚ y'know? it's always t-posing? i can think of wingull when i hear its name but #might just be because i've seen it a lot. known 'em for a while. i dunno if it's because they're particularly memorable for what they are

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brookheimer · 1 year

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honestly, if the shiv pregnancy plotline is done well, i feel like it would end up being kind of, like, revolutionary for female characters in prestige television? 'revolutionary' is a strong word, but even so! just... prestige television is obsessed with the whole Strong Femininity-Rejecting Career Woman archetype and it's a trope that's often been lauded as empowering, as allowing women to be complex like male characters. except... often they're not complex like male characters, they're complex as male characters in that they're treated basically like a 'complex male character' stuck into a female body. the explanation is a legitimate one: the female character rejects classical femininity. sure. the better shows will depict the lengths these women will go to be perceived as 'masculine' in order to survive, to thrive in their patriarchal world. but regardless of the show, the vast majority of Strong Female Characters are never allowed a lot of things that their male equivalents would: namely, love and sometimes family. it's like we think that if a Strong Complex Female Character falls in love or wants a relationship/a family, she's no longer a Strong Complex Female Character, she's just a Female Character. that is so incredibly detrimental! it reifies the belief that love/family/etc are inherently 'feminine' things and that inherently 'feminine' things are inherently weak, and any woman who displays 'femininity' is no more Strong or Complex than a 1950s housewife.

so for shiv, a Strong Complex Female Character who admittedly has spent the majority of the series surrounded solely by men (she's had maybe three conversations without a man present?), ensconced in the 'masculine' defense she's created for herself... for that shiv, girlboss shiv, Strong Complex Femininity-Rejecting Career Woman shiv, to get pregnant and have to reconcile the version of herself she needs to present to the world with whatever she actually is or actually wants (because frankly, we as an audience have no fucking clue what shiv wants in life outside of logan and waystar royco) and her own fear of anything remotely approximating 'femininity'... well, assuming shiv remains shiv, remains manipulative and calculating and angry and machiavellian and 'masculine' and everything else she's inherited from her last name -- everything else that makes men on the internet call her a sociopath -- while also being allowed to explore her relationship with femininity, to maybe want kids or a family because that isn't just a Woman Trope that's also just a natural human desire for connection that many people experience, to be not just the woman or the anti-woman but a fully fleshed out person... i mean. that would kind of be huge, i think.

[more under the cut! like, a lot more. be fucking warned]

really, Strong Career Women were created as the antithesis of the television housewife. the housewife displays every emotion except for anger and deeply desires love and family. therefore, the Strong Woman will display no emotion but anger or pride (because those are the only masculine emotions) and have no interest whatsoever in love and family (because men don't have interest in love and family). and that, obviously, is horseshit -- men experience the entire human spectrum of emotions and desire love and family and all of that, because that's literally just part of being a fucking human. but while prestige television frequently explores the interiority, humanity, desires and dreams, etc etc etc of their complex male characters, they very rarely do the same for their women, at least not outside of the bounds of career and/or other areas where the woman in question demonstrates her power and masculinity (such as relationship power plays). we can't explore the humanity of Strong Female Characters because then they'd show emotion and desire love and connection, which would out them as women, as housewives, not Strong Female Characters.

we think emotion and yearning deepens male characters and lessens female characters, because we 'expect' that from women but not from men. when a woman cries on television, we think 'here they go again.' when a man cries, we think it's a shocking and meaningful display of vulnerability. both in-universe of the shows and in real life, in the writer's room and beyond, Strong Complex Women are only taken seriously so long as they reject 'femininity' as much as humanly possible. Strong Complex Female Characters have to be one-note, because if they show any other notes, they stop being seen as strong or complex. their lives begin and end in the office, in the presence of men, in the persona they've created for themselves. if there is a self beyond those boundaries, we never see it. we're not allowed to. Strong Women are uniquely forbidden from those basic aspects of human life, even more so than men, i'd argue, because to display any of those qualities would be to out yourself as A Woman and prove everyone right, to lose any and all credibility you've ever gained in your entire career because now they now you've been A Woman all along. but that's not realistic, that's not human. yet because they are still women and on some level do still want to be seen as women, but that's impossible to balance with the need to be seen as a man. there are almost no female characters that are allowed to simultaneously embrace 'femininity' and desire 'feminine' things such as love and family while still prioritizing their careers, being cold and manipulative and calculating, and presenting 'masculine' in the way they handle themselves.

i'm not saying shiv has been poorly written so far, or that succession has been, like, enormously sexist by keeping a lot of her interior life private. i think in large part this has been purposeful and makes a lot of sense -- after all, shiv is notoriously most resistant when it comes to self-reflection, possibly more than anyone else; kendall obsessively introspects, roman hates it and deflects but that's largely because he already knows what he is and can't bear to be reminded of it, but shiv is... well, a little delusional at times. forcibly delusional. she has to delude not only herself but everyone else around her in order to survive as a woman in a man's world, a liberal in a conservative company, a hardcore capitalist in a bernie sanders campaign. kendall wants to be a good person but knows he isn't, roman doesn't believe it's possible for him to be a normal person let alone a good one, but shiv clings onto these label of Good Person and, i don't know, Essentially A Man, with such intensity and desperation that any actual self-reflection would literally be suicide. it would burst that bubble entirely and then what's left?

well. what IS left? because, i mean, something would be. she's still a person. she's not a robot programmed to imitate men and show no emotion or desire (god knows she's not even good at pretending). but shiv would never take that step of her own volition. she'd never just sit down and think "hm, let's actually dig into what i really want from life and from myself" -- and even if she did, she wouldn't be honest about it.

then boom. pregnancy. "oh fuck i am a woman. oh fuck what if i do want a kid and this is my only chance. oh fuck" etc etc etc. it's not reducing shiv to being a womb (crazy take, by the way) but it's actually expanding her from being the lack of one. rather than simply being a Woman with a distinct set of qualities and no contradicting ones or an Anti-Woman with the opposite set of qualities and not a hint of anything that could be construed as a former, she'd become a person. obviously, you can be a person and a woman without being pregnant or wanting kids or a family, but we don't even know what shiv wants! she hasn't allowed herself to consider it seriously, because that would be betraying her Anti-Woman Survival Method! it's not saying that pregnancy/family/etc are necessary for a full and happy life, but rather, spending your entire life terrified of showing interest in anything perceived as 'feminine' and thus weak, of showing emotion or desire or love because you know how the men in the room will receive it -- that isn't satisfying! that isn't a happy life! that's a life lived in fear, denial, and repression masked as Masculine Self-Sufficiency to such an extreme extent that men don't even do that. the only thing worse than a man displaying 'feminine' characteristics is a woman displaying 'feminine' characteristics -- the feeling men talk about when displaying emotion is the disgust, judgment, and dismissal women (particularly those trying to perform masculinity/live in masculine spheres) experience on a day-to-day basis. while a man displaying emotion is met with shame in the moment, a woman displaying emotion is seen as a confirmation of what the men around her have been thinking all along: she's weak, she's not up to it, she's a 'woman.' men can shake it off. women can't. the reason displaying emotion feels uniquely hard for men is because it's their first time being treated like a woman.

anyways. i digress. succession has been hinting at things all along -- moments that show she genuinely loves tom, the conversations with her mother, etc -- and now that throughline can actually, y'know, follow through, and it might be fucking great, guys. that's what i'm hoping for with the shiv arc -- her trying to reconcile with the fact that she's a woman, and the show using it as a way to explore the bizarre and arbitrary way we assign 'femininity' to natural aspects of human life and desire, making those things impossible for women to ever even consider wanting or earnestly caring about if they want to be seen as people rather than as capital-w Women (and what is a capital-w Woman anyways?), and just, like, idk. i think it's idiotic to act like women like shiv aren't allowed to want kids and families -- and that narrative is so deeply ingrained in society that the presumably largely female/feminist/progressive online succession fanbase has been constantly reiterating that same trope as a genuine criticism levied against the writers' decision to make shiv pregnancy!

i said in another post that this plotline feels to me like... high risk, high reward. yeah, it's high risk, it could go terribly in so many ways, but to me personally as someone who has been endlessly endlessly fascinated with the internalized misogyny within so many 'feminist' narratives and the apparent belief that strong women aren't allowed to 'act like women' if they want to continue being seen as strong, as someone who has unironically written a multitude of papers and articles on this topic for college and for journals, the reward is just SO fucking high. like, this could be a fucking GAME CHANGER. if they pull this off it might genuinely alter the way prestige media writes 'strong female characters' which is something that has been needed for years. there will always be risk in storylines as historically ridden with misogyny as pregnancy/abortion/etc narratives are, but if there's any show right now i trust to approach this with care and deftness and real thought, it's succession. if it flops, it flops, and that will genuinely suck. a lot. but even if there's only 1% chance for success, that's still, like, 0.9% more than any other show i can think of. so fuck it. full speed ahead, baby. do this shit right

#jesus motherfucking christ this was a doozy #my blog is so funny bc it's like: 1min succession shitpost (5000 notes) 234298498k word essay about a character (12 notes)#perpetually in awe of people who can be concise. that is not me but godbless #if even a single person reads this entire thing i'll eat my hat. christ #hopefullyyyyy this makes sense and has value for some people. lolol yall must think im insane huh #look i'm in bed with a fever what else am i gonna do? my work? no #whatever. might reblog later if like Really really nobody sees it bc it's 4 pm on a tuesday but meh #succession #succession spoilers #shiv roy #succession meta #i guess. honestly more like prestige television meta LOL #casey shut the fuck up about shiv roy #< new tag. have one for roman but clearly need one for shiv too #long post

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roryintheir90s · 2 months

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Ngl I feel so happy that theres now more people appreciating Jausage. I've been waiting

#wait #wher are the other solidwood shippers?#Now when will people appreciate Solidwood? /hj #I love the and they dont get enough fanmade content and when they do theyre “sibling coded” which i find weird bc THOSE MEN talked about ji #being pregnent in fucking evo smp and Martyn have been JELOUS AF of Scott about Jimmy #Dunno how that siblings dynamic but ok???#Not to shame anyone tho #do what you wanna #and idk why did i started to make a rant about solidwood #ymmmm #draw what you wanna ship what you wanna #im just a little sad in when it comes to solidwood content #bc i had people say to me #“surely you're not the only solidwood shipper” ofc im not the only but definetly only one who shouts at the top of their lungs about it #and they always follow it with IDK??? I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THAT TOO BC FUCK I LOVE THEEM #I mean theres doozy who i appreciate and love AND THE FICS GUYS!!! THE FICSSS!!!!#But im talkijng about people who MAIN them #anyway sorry for the solidwood rant under jausage post???

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triangle-strategy-notes · 10 months

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Benedict concept art! Translation notes under the cut, text versions of the captions in the alt text.

I ended up having some mix-ups with the words "Benedict" and "Utility" because Benedict's name and the word that was eventually translated as "Utility" are really similar. "Utility" is ベネフィット, and the characters are pronounced phonetically as "Be ne fu ~i tto" (i.e. a direct Japanese spelling of the English word "benefit"). Benedict is ベネディクト, and the characters are phonetically pronounced as "Be ne de ~i ku to". There's a solid chance I made some mistakes throughout the pages on which word I was supposed to use, but they're both referring to Benedict either way.

On a related note, there was one place (the note about the gun being able to fold) where I made "utility" lowercase. Japanese doesn't have capital letters, so that was just sort of a guess at what version of the word they meant.

"The neck muscles are hidden" was one that I couldn't make sense of. I'm sure there was something about neck/muscles, but the sentence (as far as I can tell) is something like "Hudan muscles of the neck," so I'm not really sure what it's supposed to say in its entirety. I'm going with the idea that Hudan was a slightly-off phonetic spelling of "hidden," but I might be completely wrong.

The word for "squeaky clean" was lit. defined as an onomatopoeia for scrubbing (ゴシゴシ or "gon gon"). I couldn't think of a good English equivalent that sounded nice within the sentence, so I went with "squeaky clean" instead, since I think that was essentially the meaning they were going for.

"Looks like father..." might have had some nuance that I didn't manage to get down. The word for father was probably something more like "the father of this household" but it wasn't super clear. The overall meaning I took away from it was, "Serenoa looks like the Wolffort family father," but that wasn't really the wording they used, so I decided to just leave it vague.

There's some text in the tiny little box at the bottom of the expressions page that I wrote as "From the setting." The actual text seemed to be shorthand for something, and I wasn't exactly sure what the intention was. It might have meant "this is a style that fits within the setting [of Norzelia]," or it might have meant something more like, "this was from the original setting up of Benedict's character." There's also just a chance it meant something entirely different--I feel pretty unsure about this one.

#triangle strategy #triangle strategy artbook #ts artbook character ref sheets #benedict pascal #erador ballentine #symon wolffort #benedict with a gun........#also. dang. can't tell you how much the name stuff messed me up.#I kept going 'oh huh wonder why they didn't give him a codename'#'must have really liked the name benedict I guess'#don't know if I'm out of practice or what but this one was a doozy!#edit: WAIT I forgot to add a tag about that Benedict crying note #I am shaking Naoki Ikushima's hand vigorously #Benedict really is such a cool character and I really really love the way this design was developed

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cannibalismyuri · 11 months

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something about the fact that el has been bought up with such exclusive ideas about good / bad people irks me because she's literally using entirely objective terminology (re: monster / superhero) for the two ends of her morality spectrum, and that fails to take into account the extreme grey area between the implications of those two terms. and humans as a whole cannot be monsters or superheroes and if she views herself as either one or another and cant accept herself as both or neither, that means she's been bought up with a distinct lack of association of sense of self with humanity. do you guys ever think about that?

#bc can u imagine how she uses these two extremes as her moral compass and as a result‚ she can Literally never be up to standard?#and she's been raised as a weapon and what she believes is a killing machine and she only knows violence.#and she associates that w being a monster. when she Cant be confined to the label.#she doesnt understand that she cant be a monster or a superhero bc she is Distinctly human despite being raised to not be one.#she has been taught to use her completely normal human emotions in supernatural ways‚ mostly for killing‚ and thats connected her powers‚#and by extension‚ her inherent sense of self to negative human emotions. and now she views them as a Monster Trait.#bc she's a monster and her motives are monstrous and Killing is Monstrous and thus human emotions = weakness and a monstrous temptation #not to be indulged in beyond using her powers. she's afraid of emotions in general. not just negative ones. shes afraid of GENUINE HAPPINES #she views herself as a superhero or a monster at separate intervals but she is Always‚ ALWAYS a killing machine/weapon underneath that.#she is never just a human with normal human emotions and reactions and processes and trauma.#she doesnt view herself like that. she was bought up not to view herself like that. god she is so fucked up.#el hopper #el hopper analysis #stranger things (sara's version)#robin pinkeoni & doozy googoogagayes if u guys see this: this is all bc of u guys i didn't Want to think abt this 🥲

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ssreeder · 6 months

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SREEDIE YOU UPDATED YOU ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT BASTARD

look at my hubby, always cheering me up right when I need it most :3

(I’m choosing to believe the universe made your “let’s-save-this-marriage” sense tingle and that this is not pure coincidence shhh)

ANYWAYS I’m off to read the chappie now <333

My spider senses were tingly I knew you needed 25k of random interactions that don’t make much sense until they make so much sense? Does that make sense?

MWAHHhhhh *smashes my lightbulbs before you can*

#I AM HERE TO CHEER #LEEKI LEEKI THATS MY EX WIFE IF SHE CANT DO IT NO ONE CAN!!#Idk how to cheer sorry #but that was my cheerleader impression #i hope you feel pumped up #& if not idk what else to do #that’s all I got #Well leeki I hope you had fun with the chapter #‘twas a DOOZY #LEEKIE #LEEKIE Bo beekie #leekie tag #ask

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len-wither · 1 year

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So witch!Scott and Milo finale theory (ig??)

so as i was rewatching Scott's ep9 (the one where he becomes immortal) it really got me thinking a lot

just what if he does become the supreme witch? what if he brings Milo back? would it really be the same?

cuz, as time goes on Scott, is slowly becoming less and less human (both literally and metaphorically) (I mean the guy is slowly turning into a walking corpse, what else do you want from him?), then when (if) Milo comes back, would he look at Scott the same?

would he still see the man he has once called his "sunshine" or a completely different person who is ready to curse and hurt and even kill others just to become stronger and get what he wants? and I mean, sure he did do it for Milo but does it matter?

and most importantly, would Milo still want to be with him or would he leave? thatxs not the same man who he fell in love with, but the complete opposite for that matter

also we can't forget that none or Scott's characters ever had a happy ending (esmp s1, rsmp, etc)

I'm excited to see what type of angst Scott will rain on us at the end of this series, cuz the angst potential is so high with this one, I'm tellin' ya!

#necromany witch #this is gonna be one hell of a doozy #i can feel it in my bones #also really #it's ment to have an angst ending #and this is scott we're talking about #scott smajor #smajor1995 #dangthatsalongname #witch scott #witchcraft smp #theory #withering words #these tags are so fucking long what?

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yeehawpurgatory · 8 months

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Listen, I know this might sound untrue, but Arthur IS mostly a bad dude—or at least not as good a man as some claim. (I love him still but hear me out)

This is not me arguing “he’s bad so you shouldn’t like/glorify him” at all, I promise—I can’t stand that rhetoric. It’s just that I see a lot of “he’s so kind” “so good at heart” “so hard on himself” and I wonder why folks so often adamantly, un-ironically claim him as a misunderstood gentle giant type.

The fact that he’s mostly nice to those he cares about and is willing to help strangers in need (never mind both of those things are optional anyhow, you can just as easily play him as an asshole who doesn’t come to anyone’s aid—) doesn’t undo the harm he’s responsible for throughout the game. Nor does him being told to do so by an authority or being a victim of circumstance undo it.

His good doesn’t make up for his bad, and I don’t think it actually needs to. His bad certainly doesn’t take away from what makes him compelling and likeable to the audience; but within the context of his world, he’s right to be unhappy with who he is. It’s not a matter of low self esteem or self worth issues, his unhappiness with himself comes from self awareness.

(Saying this with a grain of salt because you know, fictional character with no real agency whose actions are as such for plot reasons), he may have had a shit hand dealt to him, but he’s a person who makes bad choices. He’s charming and relatable (and hot lol) but I’m not sure I understand the whole simplifying his character to “good person stuck in bad situation” thing, when it plainly isn’t the case, no matter how much we like him.

I think the “you’re a good man Arthur” line gets thrown around as proof of him being good at heart; but I think it’s more like, he needed to hear it to act as such. He needed to be told how to be good and pushed into reflection and immediate actions. He needed to be told that he’s a good man by others because he needed permission in a sense to be different than he knows himself to be. (Take a shot every-time I say good)

“The Thomas Downes mission was out of character” it really isn’t. He says what kind of man he is multiple times, he hammers the point home that he’s a bad man. And while there is definitely a bit of self loathing in that sentiment, he’s still speaking his truth. He’s just unhappy with it; he IS the type of man to commit an atrocity like beating a dying man for a few bucks. It goes against the beliefs fans have projected onto him, usually coming from their own moral compass instead of what the character shows his own to be, and that’s why it ‘feels so wrong’ to see him doing something actually despicable.

We arrive at this misunderstanding due to fandom projection, as well as this rampant desire to problem solve by ‘fixing’ the canon material to fit a sort of agenda. Ie, ‘I only like the good attributes in this character’ ‘it’s only acceptable to like this bad dude provided he’s always feeling guilt for his actions’ or ‘he’s not really at fault for them.’

But the thing is, even if Arthur is at conflict with his actions, the guilt he may feel isn’t an indication of anything pure within him. He’s in total control and chooses still to go along with everything. I tend to think an action done in guilt is functionally the same as an action done with enjoyment. Arthur feeling bad at the end of the game for his faults and complicity doesn’t mean he is good. Nor does it mean he ‘was a good the whole time’, nor does it excuse what he’s done.

We don’t have to make him a better person than he is in order to like him, is what I’m trying to say I guess. It’s fine to acknowledge all parts of him, to do otherwise does a disservice to his character as it often flattens them beyond recognition. And it’s also fine to hone in on what you appreciate most and write and draw and celebrate that while functionally ignoring the rest if you so choose—but it’s also fine (and usually important) to acknowledge who the character is without the plethora of projections placed upon them.

Arthur ends the game with a loving act, more or less saving John, saving Abigail, Tilly, paving the way for them to become something better than he was. None of these things are meant to be a great action done to save his soul or redeem him in any eyes, especially not his own. He dies on a good note (and yeah I would say low honour/back for the money is still a ‘good’ choice for a low honour story), and shifts his focus to the last good deed he’s done in his final moment as a way to leave off peacefully despite all his wrongdoings. He doesn’t get redemption really, and he doesn't wholly achieve 'goodness', despite all the potential for growth the audience can see in him, that’s the deliberate tragedy of it all.

#i know im forgetting so many things that would change the tone of what im saying so take away is this; i love him and i love ooc him #but flattening the character and reducing them to their best or worst traits alone is a type of simplification im thinking we should all #grow out of #boy that was a doozy #sorry if that got nonsensical #I usually skip analyses stuff or essays and commentaries but this was rattling in my brain for a while #not to be negative but one of the worst parts of fandom to me is when a character/story gets lost in translation due to fanon #and I think that’s rampant here especially and not just for arthur #but what do I know yk #NOT a character critical post I love him he’s my wife and son in one too precious for this world yadda yadda #arthur morgan #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2

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marvus-xoloto · 1 year

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The clown replied, "Yo killa, My precious got damn child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints in tha motherfucking snow, it was thizzity THEN that I Carried Your plush ass LOL !!"

Read here, and happy belated holidays and new year!!

Looking for what was previously chapter 2? Try here.

Support your local artists and writers with a reblog ♻️😊

#hiveswap #marvus #marvus xoloto #marvus xoloto x reader #marvus x reader #phew this one was a doozy. i'm all benadryled up still so i hope this is anything. i liked it though and that's what's important!#i didn't know where to pull the chapter preview from. i'm kind of nervous about this one o_o'

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kscribbs · 7 months

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Miller's Law Snippets

Snip 1 💤

And so she stayed like that. One arm curled around his torso, face nestled into the narrow space between his shoulder blades. — A protective barrier, shielding him from the darkness of his own mind.

Whenever she sensed that he might be submitting to it again she’d move their conjoined hands to his chest/heart, trying to imbue as much warmth and comfort and… well, love, as possible. Willing his heart-rate to return to a normal rhythm. And she'd speak to him. Using the same soft, consoling timbre she reserved for anxious patients. It seemed to work, for he’d soon grow still again, drifting back into what she hoped were pleasant, happy dreams. Dreams of things and people and places he loved. The rose garden at Frost Manor. His favourite memories with Jacqueline and the Twins. Endless games of Elemental Ball…

He was fully-thawed now, but his fingers remained icy, frost creeping from his palms, across the counterpane, and after awhile Lucy’s own fingers began to ache and burn. But still, she didn’t let go. She stayed there for hours. Hours upon hours, watching dawn crack over the horizon like a robin's egg, spilling its golden light across the Canton de Bern. Watching the sky shift from pale blue to silver-grey and snow begin to drift down in large, fluffy flakes. Watching morning bleed into afternoon, and afternoon into evening, and night settle into all the room’s nooks and recesses like the ink in the creases of her palms.

Still, she didn’t let go.

Eventually the clouds cleared, and the sky stretched before her as a great, glittering vault. The silver river of the Milky Way was so much more vivid out here. She never saw this many stars in New York.

And Jack stayed sleeping, snoring softly, stirring minimally, his hand tightening in hers, every so often, the odd murmur drifting from his lips. Sometimes they were unintelligible. Other times she could make out certain words. Names, more oft than not. His mother’s. Jacqueline’s. Even her own, on one occasion.

She was overexerting herself, she knew. Using her powers to excess. He was going to be cross with her, when he did wake. Chide her, lecture her. But she hardly cared. She would make sure he got the rest he’d been so sorely deprived of if it killed her.

How long had he been suffering like this? she asked herself, again and again. He’d said they came in cycles, but how long had they been this severe? And how bad of a doctor — a friend, moreover — was she, for not having uncovered the truth sooner?

After a full twenty-four hours she was forced to get up to use the washroom, as well as grab something to eat and drink, all of which she did as swiftly as possible, before returning to his side (his other side now, seeing as he was one of those people who tended to gravitate, catlike, towards the centre of the bed) with her laptop in tow. He had begun to look a little strained in her absence, so she carded her fingers through his hair, pressed a kiss to the groove between his brows. And that seemed to do the trick.

She put on Season One of Gilmore Girls, keeping the volume low, and settled in for another long shift.

The room was well-lit and warm now, a fire crackling merrily in the hearth, and Lucy couldn’t help muse that, amidst all the grief and the horror — the gaping, cavernous knowledge of her own infirmity -- she felt… oddly at peace. Like they were living in a kind of vacuum, away from the rest of the world. A perfect, snow-capped bell jar.

It helped, she supposed, that Gstaad had a real fairytale feel to it. Like something out of a Hans Christian Andersen story.

Finally, around fifty-three hours after he’d first fallen asleep, and while she was almost-but-not-quite drifting off to Monty Python and The Holy Grail (a favourite of his), she felt a groggy chuckle reverberate against her left side, and glanced up to find him grinning at the screen. His hair was a complete mess, thanks to her ministrations; making him look a bit like a lion coming into its mane.

‘I love the Pythons,’ he said, huskily.

‘I know.’

‘Most people don’t know why they named it “Monty Python”. It was because they thought it sounded like a really bad theatrical agent. Did you know that?’

‘I didn't,' Lucy said fondly, angling the laptop more towards him. ‘Good Fact. I'll remember it for next time I see dad.'

He sat up a bit, rubbing his eyes with the hand that wasn’t connected to hers. A little colour rose in his face, when he took notice of the fact, but he didn't let go. Quite the contrary, actually -- he gave it a gentle squeeze, running his thumb over her knuckles.

‘Mmgh. Jeez. My joints are killing me. How long was I out for? Couple hours?’

'Uh... little more than that, actually.'

'How much more?' His fingers trailed over his chin, which was noticeably stubbled. He frowned. 'Wait a minute...'

Snip 2 📱

‘Christ, I know. She’d be beside herself. But there’s very little we can do right now to—’ Melusine was cut off by the sound of a phone ringing. ‘…Do you hear— ? …Who’s is that?’

Lucy’s, it transpired; recognisable by its bright pink, flowery case. It lay abandoned on the kitchen table, half buried beneath a tea towel. The contact flashing on the screen made Jack’s skin crawl with dislike.

“Matt (Weird Sevens Guy)”.

‘Oh, he can bugger right off! The rotter,’ Melusine growled, tossing her empty bowl into the sink as if it had just declared itself a close associate of said "rotter"(...?). ‘That’s the LAST thing Luce needs right now. I can’t bleedin’ stand that man, Jack. Always sniffing around her, like a hyena.'

'Yeah, what's up with that? It's like, uh, hello? Get a hobby, maybe? ...Preferably one that involves heavy machinery and very lax safety regulations.'

'Too right. He's trouble, I swear. You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to answer, blow a raspberry down the phone and then hang up.’

‘W-- now, Melusine,’ Jack chided, yanking her back by the hem of her blouse.

‘What? That’s funny!’

‘Funny, sure. But somehow I don’t think Lucy’d thank you for it.’

‘So? She’s not here to nag me about it, is she? And what’s more, she’s not the boss of me. Or you, I hasten to add. …Actually, scratch that.’ She smirked at him. ‘We both know that’s not true. You’d stand in the path of an oncoming train, if she asked you to. Oh wait—’

‘Yeah, yeah—’

‘--You did do that! What a lark.’

‘Hmno. No, no. SHE did that. Charged full tilt towards it, in fact. I just happened to be clinging to the back of her broomstick, at the time.’ Jack shook his head ruefully. ‘It was—’

‘Attractive?’

‘—terrifying.’

‘Terrifyingly attractive. Tell me I’m wrong.’

‘…The woman has a screw loose, is-is what I’m saying.' He cleared his throat. 'Stark raving bonkers, as you Brits would say. And here I’d been under the impression that she was the better adjusted, of the three of us.’

‘Oh come now, you always knew she had a reckless streak.’

‘A reckless streak, yeah. Mm-hm. Totally. The key word there being "streak". What I didn’t know was that she was the second coming of Knievel. Sectionable, by all accoun… what’re you doing…?’

Melusine now had Lucy’s phone in hand, and Jack was concerned to see her typing up what looked like a—

‘Virtual curse,’ she explained, casually. ‘Nothing too serious, of course. Won’t do him any real harm. Just turn a very specific part of his anatomy into an eel. Eheh. See what me makes of th— oi! Give it back!’

‘Are you serious right now?’

‘Look, I know you’ve developed a “conscience”, or whatever, since your thaw,’ she huffed, standing on her tiptoes to try to snatch the phone from his grasp (a difficult feat, given their difference in height). ‘And that’s lovely — bravo. Very happy for you. I, on the other hand, misplaced mine centuries ago and have yet to rediscover it. I suspect it’s buried at the bottom of a sock drawer somewhere, though I really can’t be arsed to look… I’ve therefore ze-ro scruples about giving our mutual nemesis the ol’ what-for.’

‘This has absolutely nothing to do with “conscience or whotever"; I couldn't give less of a shit about what happens to that guy. In fact it would give me no greater pleasure to watch him have to waddle his way to the DMI ward. I'd just rather not end up in Lucy's bad books, as a result. Things are going really well between us right now, if you hadn't noticed? And I'd prefer to keep it that w-- ...don't look at me like that.’

‘Oh, but it’s just so sweet.' Melusine simpered, clasping her hands together kittenishly. 'The Great and Powerful Jack Frost, all… twitterpatery. Never thought I’d see the day!’

‘I’m not— i-it’s not because I—' She raised a sculpted brow at him. 'Look, shut up, okay?! I just can’t afford to lose any more strikes! I only have the one left! And I really don’t wanna find out what happens when I reach naught.’

‘She’ll probably just make you do lines or something. I wouldn’t worry.’

‘Or, she might jinx me! Put me in a full body bind.’

‘Don't act like you wouldn't enjoy it.’ Melusine sent him an arch look, making him flush. ‘But fine. If you're that much of a jessie, I'll take the brunt of any potential Miller ire.’

‘Pfft. As if I’m going to trust that.’

‘It’s the truth!’

‘You’ll have to forgive me for being the slightest bit dubious, given… you know. Every single one of our interactions over the last two centuries.’

At her mulish look Jack sighed, realising that he was fighting a losing battle. Though he truly didn’t want to buy himself a one-way ticket to the dog house, he couldn’t deny that seeing what’shisname (Mason? Murray? ...Sketchy, overly-solicitous guy who didn't come anywhere close to deserving the object of his "affection"?) receive a good cursing was an attractive prospect.

A very attractive prospect.

Hm.

‘Y'know what...? Fine,’ he relented. ‘Whatever. You reap what you sow, Melville. Do as you please, just leave me out of it.’

‘What I’m sowing is chaos, and I have my fingers crossed for a bountiful harvest.’

‘…In that case, an electric eel would be far funnier. Just a thought.’

‘My, my!’ Melusine's brows did the milage to her hairline. ‘Two good ideas in under twenty-four hours. That must be some kind of record! Remind me to mark the occasion in the official "Jack Had an Idea" Excel spreadsheet.’

Jack was just about to respond with his own (far more cutting) witticism when a sleepy voice from the doorway said, ‘Why do you guys look like you’re scheming?’

The two of them jumped, turning to find Lucy standing over the threshold, looking charmingly dishevelled.

While Jack smiled dotingly, all other thoughts fleeing his mind at the sight of her, Melusine, startled by her appearance, grabbed the phone from his hand and lobbed it at the window, which shattered.

There was a moment of confused silence.

‘…Bollocks. Could’ve sworn that was open.’

Snip 3 ⏳

‘What’s the matter?’

And there it was, Lucy thought. The Look. The one that always made her feel like he could see under her skin. The familiarity of it, after all these years, was like a blow to the jugular.

‘N-Nothing, I--’ She drew in a shuddering breath. ‘I’m just... having a bit of a hard day, s’all.’

‘Why?’

‘…I… miss my friend. ...A lot. I haven’t seen him in a long time, you see. A very long time.’

‘Where is he?’ The boy cocked his head curiously, resembling a bird listening for earthworms. ‘Did he die?’

Kids. So forthright.

‘No. No, honey, he didn’t die.’

‘Then why can’t you see him?’

Lucy’s lips twitched.

Hiking up her skirts, she knelt down to his level, studying his narrow face. The same face she mapped out in her mind each night, before she went to sleep, so that she wouldn’t forget. Every line, every furrow. Every repressed spasm or overexertion of emotion.

Piece by piece, the memories settled around her. Like snowfall. -- A worried grimace as he sat at her bedside, holding her hand through what, at the time, had been her worst surge to date. A sleepy grin, as he watched Monty Python over her shoulder, while the world outside faded to white. Deep concentration pulling his features taught as he tinkered at his Steinway. The panicked, pleading look he'd sent her when she left him slaving over a hot stove with her mom and Nana, while she, Charlie and her dad retired to the basement to "assemble furniture" (drink beer and watch the Bears game). Countless looks of gentle reprove, mixed with grudging amusement, whenever she teased him about his eccentricities. The brief flashes of pride and adoration she'd grown increasingly better at catching, in the months preceding her "Jump".

The mingled shock and delight, that afternoon at the cottage, as the heady scent of magnolia drifted in through the window and the rain thundered on the roof. Arguably her favourite memory of him.

...The abject terror, as he lay writhing in pain--

No.

No, that one she would not think of. That one she made a concerted effort to bury, stifle. Locking it away, in the deepest, darkest recesses of her mind.

This face, though… this face was smooth and bright, filled with earnestness of childhood. The lofty bone structure, the crooked nose, the dimpled cheeks. The blue, blue eyes. It was all him. And at the same time, it wasn’t. Not quite. Not yet.

To look into his eyes after all this time and not have him recognise her, even a little bit...? Hurt more than Lucy would've ever thought possible.

‘It’s… it’s complicated, kiddo,’ she said, eventually. ‘Grown-up stuff, y’know?’

‘Well.’ He drew himself up to his full height, puffing out his chest importantly. ‘I don’t wanna brag or nothin’, but I happen to be very mature.’

‘Oh, is that so?’

‘Yep! My teacher said so. Said that I’m the most prec-- prero--'

'Precocious?'

'Reprocious boy in my class. And that's why I find it hard to make friends.'

'You do?' Lucy put a hand over her heart. 'Oh dear.'

His ears turned a little pink, as if he'd disclosed more than he'd intended to.

'N-Not that I care! Why should I? They're all dunderheads anyway. And I'm special. I'm gonna do Big Things when I leave school!'

‘Really now? Golly.'

‘Mm-hm! And then they'll ALL wanna be my friend. But by that point it'll be too late, 'cause I'll be rich and famous and everyone will know how great I am.'

It made so much sense, in hindsight. So much sense. All he'd ever wanted was to be accepted. Understood. Lauded for his intelligence, his studiousness, his unparalleled talents. To make the people he looked up to proud. He'd just gone about it in a totally roundabout way, steered off-course by his wicked old uncle. His deepest insecurities warped into something far more sinister than they would've been otherwise. At his core he was just a troubled little boy, who's enormous capacity for love was being tempered, stifled.

It would be so easy, the thought came to Lucy suddenly. So easy to simply… scoop him up in her arms. Thaw him there and then. The curse wasn’t overly evident yet; not to the untrained eye, anyway. But it was there. Lurking just beneath the surface. His big blue eyes had a near-imperceptible chill to them. His face, though more flushed than that of his adult, frozen self, was nevertheless quite pale. He was a ticking time bomb.

If she diffused that bomb now none of it — none of the pain, the heartbreak, the guilt and the regret — would come to pass. He would have those years his present self mourned so dearly. He would have his family. His sister.

He would be happy.

And oh, how she wanted that for him. For all of them. The zany, ragtag family she'd grown to love so dearly, over the years.

But she couldn’t. She knew she couldn’t. She’d been given strict instructions by Father Time. Though it went against her every instinct, she had to let things play out the way they were meant to. The way they already had, for her to be here in the first place.

'Annnnyway, point being: I think I can handle “complicated”. So if you need someone to talk to, I'm your guy.' He grinned at her, all dimples and charm, and Lucy’s heart swelled with affection. She found herself caught between laughter and tears. It seemed inconceivable that her love for him could continue to grow any more than it already had, and yet... grow it did.

It might’ve been easier to believe him, on the "maturity" front, had he not been talking with a subtle, but nevertheless noticeable, lisp — most likely a result of his missing front teeth. To say nothing of the sizeable blob of jam in the corner of his mouth.

‘Even so, lil' man; I wouldn’t wanna bring you down,’ she said, with a gentle smile. ‘Plus, I… I don’t really feel like talking about it right now.’

‘Hm. That's understandable, I s'pose.’ He nodded seriously. ‘Welp. If it makes you feel any better, I’m sure he misses you too. Your friend.’

'You think?’

‘Sure! I mean... you seem like a nice person. I think I’d miss you, if I were him. Or he were me. Or whatever.' A little more colour rose in his face, and he glanced away bashfully, scuffing the ground with the toe of his shoe. 'I think... I think I'd be really glad to have a friend like you, actually.'

When he looked up again it was to find silent tears running down her face.

'Oh! Ah… was it… something I said?’

‘No, no, I just… that’s very s-sweet,’ Lucy warbled, dabbing her eyes with the sleeve of her cloak. ‘Thank you.’

In the next moment she found a familiar, embroidered foulard being thrust into her grip. She took it gratefully, letting it sit in her hands for several seconds. The silk was softer than she remembered it being.

‘This is l-lovely. Are you sure you don’t mind me using it?’

‘'Course not.' He waved her off. ‘My father says a gentleman always gives a crying lady his kerchief. It’s the chirivus-- chivrulus-- honourable thing to do.'

‘Oh and he's quite right. Your father’s governor, isn’t he? Governor Frost?'

'Ya-huh! That's the one.'

'He's a great man. I mi-- like him very much.’

‘Sometimes he takes me to work with him, and I get to boss people around. It’s really fun.’

‘Mm, I bet.’

#Jack Frost #Lucy Miller #adult!Lucy Miller #doctor!Lucy Miller #Jack Frost x adult!Lucy Miller #ML #Miller's Law #!fluff warning!#this is excessive I know #but I truly don't know when I'm going to be able to update ye olde Law :/ what with the whole unemployment thing #I do have a doozy of a Jacquie & Jack interaction in the next instalment. And also some Bernelle! So hopefully it'll be worth the wait!#but it's killlllling me not being able to share write-y stuffs. Hence the above #fic #writing #the santa clause #TSC #these are all incredibly self indulgent; I do apologise #I am but a jaded old lady who takes solace in long hugs and characters yearning across time n space for one another #(tell me you were brought up on dr who without telling me you were brought up on dr who)#as well as obtrusive weirdos getting cursed apparently #the implications of a curse that can be sent virtually - both from a world-building perspective and also a narrative perspective - ...#are as horrifying as they are impractical #ridiculous even #but I couldn't stop laughing at the prospect. So here it be #for now at least #needless to say I altered the circumstances of Lucy's meeting bb!Jack for the first time #this is a much younger and therefore much more happy-go-lucky Jack #younger also than the version of him in ch 5 #this Jack is probs smth like 700 - 800-ish #still a lil' charmer tho

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