#well no WONDER I FEEL LIKE SHIT

[smoresbythefyresyde]

It is almost 11:30. I am incredibly bored. All activies seem meaningless. I am tired and dont wanna go to bed. Brain why

#i think the neurodivergency gremlin is just running around hitting random buttooooo oh wait #i. am off my iron supplements #and due for the monthly curse soon #well no WONDER I FEEL LIKE SHIT #my brain is ping-ponging rather rapidly between tired-and-overstimulated and understimulation-induced-VIOLENT LEE MOODS #...maybe i should just go to bed #ooooh wait no i might make popcorn

[b4kuch1n]

THEE audiodrama disguised as podcast

#sherlock and co #s&co #sherlock holmes #john watson #mariana ametxazurra #Ive been thinking abt these design SO much lmao. even while doing other things #decided to take cues from acd/granada more. hence sherlock's headband to mimic slicked back hair #and I went with Colors bc. well first of all Im a clown. but second of all I recall some stuff abt victorian fabrics and uh. the wonder of #arsenic green etc #they were enjoying the colors I can commit to some #and. okay Im so real with u Im also a long haired john truther bc he has a podcast of course he'd have long hair but #I think its gonna take a Hot minute. currently this is still like the slightly-grown-out regulation cut #john's jacket is bc he and sherlock are 90s kids. this was a moment of enlightenment to me. I can give john every windbreaker on earth #mariana gets the jean jacket bc I like to imagine she's a y2k kid #(sherlock I think is only 90s kid in year of birth that man's childhood was skipping class to burn shit in the wood) #(but he canonically sews which I fucking love so much. he has not bought new clothes for almost a decade #if a shirt's disintegrating no it isn't. not on his watch) #a lil sad I cant figure out how to give them hats lol I feel like thats the most victorian thing there is. a stupid hat #I can at any moment give one of them a beanie. but I refuse #there are. like a Hoard of other scribbly sketches I did to get used to drawing them. but those are for me those are not for the public #and also theyre in my sketchbook and Im too lazy to scan them #happened mostly during lunar new year lol. I was getting Hard whipped then thank u s&co for carrying me thru #ok I do other things now. have this for a while ok? thank u #have a good night lads. enjoy motion

[ecoamerica]

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

#ACLA24 #ACLA24HighSchoolStudents #youtube #youtube video #climate leaders #climate solutions #climate action #climate and environment #climate #climate change #climate and health #climate blog #climate justice #climate news #weather and climate #environmental news #environment #environmental awareness #environment and health #environmental #environmental issues #environmental education #environmental justice #environmental protection #environmental health #high school students #high school #youth #youth of america #school

[cinamun]

#istg #sometimes it feels like I am the only one calling out anti-blackness on simblr #its wild to me #y'all will have links to the shit and still be like #well.... i need another opinion #or there's two sides #there are NEVER two sides when it comes to #anti-blackness #periodt #i hate finding out that y'all still associate with dreamstatesims #after all them receipts from last year #and then y'all wonder why you cant see my blog anymore #smh #ignore me

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

hm! i have never stimmed so violently (yippee yahoo!) in my life!

#that was very well timed i was starting to have a bad day! the entropy was starting to Kick In! #bad day's over everything is wonderful life is worth living etc Etc #that being said yes see this hole i am laying comfortably in #yeah see those shovels over there #i want each of you to take one and then toss a shovelful of dirt into the hole. right on top of me #yep yes keep going till im covered thank you <3 #the mortification of being Perceived vs the sheer joy of it all FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT #woah... clown likes how i draw barnaby.... i feel peace in my soul.... #absolutely unprompted #a nice end to a relatively shitty week lmao!!! #first the update and now this!! wowee!!! yeehaw! hawyee! holy fucking shit! #gonna be thinking about this all month! an instant picker-upper!

[thatonegayship]

I loved the cowboy comic so much that I wrote a oneshot for it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/50934235 🥺 your art is BEYOND amazing, ty for the food

INCREDIBLE!!!!!

#billdip #I honestly loved this story start to finish with the ambience and quick pace #hadn't considered the possibility of Bill and Dipper actually working *together* but it's always a good time when they do ❤️ #sorry it took so long to reblog 🥲 #I read it like- Right when you posted. But I had to catch a plane and then drive an extra hour home and immediately get on zoom for class #and today i was just all around exhausted so i slept roughly 70% of the entire day dndsjdndnd #all that to say that I had your fic in the back of my mind and I very much wanted to set some time aside and re-read it when I got the chan #honestly with how well you set things up I would've loved to see your own rendition of their first kiss #You established their relationship really well at the start and brought them together by the end after outsmsrtong those bandits #it feels like you have a better understanding of who they are to each other than even i do 😌 very much a fan #i love when stories incorporate those sort of 'habits' that the love interests fall into #that confuses character A while character B is so clearly using it as an excuse to get close and spend more time with them #i squealed like a maniac when Bill was like oooph lemme walk you home 😏🤠 #sir i am going to wrangle you up if you don't compose yourself #and Dipper's just wary of him because people as handsome as bill used to pick on him 😢 #little does he know he's grown into a 10/10 cutie patootie that any cowboy would be stupid NOT to smooch #I'm a simple man. I read oblivious low-confidence cowboy being pursued by a hottie on a horse. I lose my shit #Awesome wonderful writing!!! so happy to have caught your eye and i hope to continue pumping out content for this wonderfully weird ship

[skrs-cats]

thinking about cinderlion kits and how hollytufts reaction to flywhisker and snaptooth leaving to become kittypets was to aggressively call them traitors

#i speaku #rotating these six guys in my brain #i know i said i wish cinderlion had way smaller litters and i still feel the same way now but i can still think about them #w a dynamic of having drifted apart due to the shit theyve been going thru as well as the distance bet the two litters bc of age and stuff #nd spotfur feeling so ostracized from her fam bc of 'gestures at everything' #im ngl the first lotter really genuinely are kinda just there 😭 #litter* #i wonder if you couldbe just made them be one singular cat and it wouldve worked better #thats an interesting dynamic i think... a one kitten litter being excited over the prospect of having siblings when cinder n lion announce #the news and getting devastated when two of the second litter decide to leave #maybe they n spotfur couldve beeb close once but the hypothetical only child just xouldnt get rid of those feelings of betrayal and anger #that their sibs left just grew very distant bc of that #i like sibling dynamics have i mentioned that yet

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

#ACLA24 #ACLA24Leaders #youtube #youtube video #climate leaders #climate solutions #climate action #climate and environment #climate #climate change #climate and health #climate blog #climate justice #climate news #weather and climate #environmental news #environment #environmental awareness #environment and health #environmental #environmental issues #environmental justice #environment protection #environmental health #Youtube

[sonknuxadow]

ignore razor and blade in the background this isnt about them . anyway . Looks around all scared. thoughts on him ^

#if anyone is actually wondering why they are there though they were just serving as references for what a sonic style shark might look like #and i was too lazy to get rid of them #ive been wanting to make a shark sonic oc for forever . well i finally made an attempt at it #just in the 'messing around and throwing shit on the canvas to see what works'' stage rn though . dont know how much he will change #i feel like he looks a bit plain. needs more markings or accessories or something #but im also trying to stay somewhat close to what actual shark sonic characters/underwater mobians in general look like #but then again the only sharks we see are a pair of siblings who only show up in archie sonic #so they might not be the best examples. idk. #i mean im already breaking the rules by giving him shoes #but he has shoes because im thinking he might spend a lot of time on land . where its not as comfortable/safe to go barefoot #whatever man idk #my art #oh and also ive been calling him riptide the shark in my mind as a placeholder name idk if itll stick or not

[seventh-district]

not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go

(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)

#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill #well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst #like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc. #so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made #bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you #but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings #and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste #there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc #so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously) #but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything #if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is #which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose #anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate. #and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic! #if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it. #like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages #or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing #i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know #it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess #as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence #the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education #i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is- #writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl- #will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype #sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen #there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions #like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of- #'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity #like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem #but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.

[anxiously-sidequesting]

So I don't know if it was ever revealed how Duncan felt when we killed Malistaire all three times but I'm wondering if maybe some part of him could hate us for that too. Like you hear that and you go "but why. Malistaire was terrible and even Duncan knew that(?). Why would he hate you for getting rid of him."

But like I think it's so....... interesting in a very, very, very sad way how Duncan so easily latches onto anyone who directly feeds into his delusions of grandeur. And that's no fault of his own that he was manipulated by the nasty Schism but when you think about how desperately clung to the idea that Malistaire, easily one of the greatest necromancers any of us had ever heard of (at that time), somehow actually recognized Duncan's talents (even when canon supports that Duncan wasn't all that talented, at least no more than the next necromancer) and then praised him for it so often that Duncan believed that he would be the next Death Professor is. I mean ☹️

So like with that mindset I unfortunately feel like it would be quite easy to twist even Malistaire's death as something that's horrible and awful and all our fault. ESPECIALLY if the Schism was feeding into Duncan's already broken mind and shattered ego and was constantly telling him that everything bad that ever happened to him ever in his life was Our Fault. That's like a realistic conclusion that someone like Duncan could come to

And like, at this point in time, are Malistaire's crimes even a factor in how he thinks????? Was Duncan ever able to separate Malistaire's talent and skills and prowess from the terrible and awful things he did? If Duncan wasn't able to consciously tell that distinction in the first place I can't imagine it would be any better during the years he was being manipulated and isolated and lied to

Like in Duncan's mind it probably isn't, "maybe I shouldn't idolize a national criminal, or idolize anyone at all for that matter, and aspire to be like someone so harmful when I can recognize my own talent and build from there" it's probably more like, "you (the wizard) permanently got rid of a brilliant mind, an innocent person who just made a few mistakes, and someone who believed in me no matter what just so that you could be the better than me and loved by everyone else" and that's! very sad actually!

#this is all speculation btw idk if any of this is canon. how duncan feels about all this #i know i keep saying the exact same shit over and over but.... really not a fan of how the game handled duncan! sorry! #i know wizard101 isnt supposed to be about every single character gets a satisfying ending to their arc- #-meaning not everyone in the story will face consequences and/or find a happy ending and like thats fine they dont need to #but idkkkk its just imo really sad how essentially a kid suffers frrom something he cant control by himself (his ego)- #and then instead of getting help he is instead ignored (ambrose) and then manipulated and brought up by a cult #and then when it becomes super apparent how... TERRIBLE his life really is and we defeat him he just... goes back?????? #we.... we LET him go back???? i mean we're not responsible for other people's bad decisions or mental health but bro.... #and then when we tell ambrose he's just like “oh. too bad. well anyways-” AND IM LIKE WELL THATS THE REASON!!!!! NO WONDER HE'S FUCKED UP #NONE OF THIS IS ADDRESSED. NONE OF IT. WE KICK DUNCAN'S ASS AND THEN HE.... GOES BACK TO THE CABAL #i literally just got so desolate when (wallaru spoilers) because. okay. all that for nothing i guess #this isnt me being mad btw LMAO i know the tone probably reads as angry but im not im just disappointed #and tired. what is it with wizard101 in particular and just people suffering with no end. (me as i make my main suffer with no end) #but anyways yeah duncan has been in my head for a while. he's one of the guys that i love a lot BDKSNSKAJ #he's like a son to me and HE NEEDS A HEALTHY PARENT. HE NEEDS IT #not excusing his actions btw. he still committed crimes JRKDJSIEJ #i just have a soft spot for those villains in media who are doomed from the start yknow. (stares tearfully at morganthe and gf spider) #wizard101 #wiz101 #w101 #text posts #duncan grimwater #im not normal about duncan at all he's probably the wozard oc i feel for the most other than malorn and us

[emkini]

This is so lazy but!! new meet the artist for the new year

#meet the artist #illustration #digital art #em draws #god I still cannot draw my face #I feel like I got the shape right but the overall vibe. it's definitely off #oh well. something to work on next year #pinned post #also i am just so tired all the time ain't nobody got the energy to put a saddle on #that shit's like 30 pounds and also it throws my balance off like nobody's business #no thank you #also for anyone wondering. i just use the rainbow flag because labels never quite feel right #i'm that brand of queer who is attracted to women but will probably marry a man for kids and tax benefits

[moregraceful]

Photos: 1. Blossoms on I think the plum tree, taken on film; 2. Jake Oettinger grappling with Miro Heiskanen while Jason Robertson and Roope Hintz look on; 3. Flowers and shadows at midnight.

#having like eight different mental breakdowns rolled into one atm and like don't even know how to talk about them #like where do i start. it started eight months ago. it started two years ago. it started 35 years #ago. #i said i would have * done by tonight bc it would open up some job opportunities but every time i look at google docs i scream #i may need to handwrite it #and people at * being like oh you look tired. well i am tired. you people make me very tired. but you do not care #and it's like how much of this was preventable vs how much is just someone pulling out that last loadbearing block in the jenga tower of my #sanity and now it's all falling down #i made a list last night to compare things that would make me sad about doing * vs things that fill me with hope and curiosity and quiet joy #the hope/curiosity/quiet joys list was a lot longer #i swear every third text message i send beryl is like hi. i'm spiralling. again. but then i'll say to someone else and theyre like wow have #you tried not spiraling? #well i love to do that personally but every time i try something massively destabilizing happens #it's so interesting (it's not interesting) #angela sent a wonderful prompt about sleep deprived demon summoning #and being as i am on that shit i thought ok what if cale summons a demon due to sleep deprivation #but the demon is simply his younger self. happier #less ground down. more bright-eyed. easier to smile. doesn't feel the weight of expectation #voice like you hear in a recording of yourself five years ago and it's you but it's not you #it's him but it's not him because it's also a little evil. what if you hadn't looked the other way #what if you said something. what if you found your voice. what if you let your heart grow open rather than grow cold. #the demon of a cale who is less serious and more open less selfish and more giving #and he calls devon in the night and devon ends up at his house with two cales the one he loves and the one he always wishes he'd known #before the nhl ground it out of him #and then devon has to decide who does he keep the now cale he loves or the old happier gentler cale #and as i was contemplating thaf i thought hm. it's possible i'm sublimating some things there #like i am to be clear a way happier and more well-adjusted person overall than i was five years ago #but rn i'm also an animal with its leg in a trap growing increasingly desperate and frantic #fresno oilers.txt

[ringneckedpheasant]

my opinion of my roommate just gets worse & worse the older his kids get

#& it’s like. I never knew him super well & especially not now but #it’s fucking crazy that despite him 1) having adhd & 2) recognizing that his own dad was abusive #he still thinks it’s totally normal to yell at his wife about how their 11 y/o is a ‘lazy piece of shit’ because he asked #asked for help last minute on an assignment #his wife was legit like ‘he didn’t tell us earlier because he doesn’t feel comfortable talking to us about it (school)’ #& he just. kept repeating the same kind of abusive shit about their kid #dude I wonder if the fact that you say that kind of stuff so loud I can hear it with noise cancelling headphones #has anything to do with why your kid doesn’t want to tell you when it happens 🙄 #i was literally Just talking to my therapist on friday abt #my mom recently bringing up my poor performance in HS & it was. mostly because of stuff I now see happening w [kids name redacted]

[commander-gloryforge]

.

#damn . if i like. ever did something wrong i wonder why they dont just talk to me about it #like idk i thought when they like. vagued about *someone* i had to convince myself that it wasnt me #like i literally went through our messages to make sure i didnt say anything wrong #but apparently it was me after all? i just wish they wouldve. idk. talked to me about it #it feels so hypocritical? why are you allowed to say what you think and im not #unless i actually did what you claimed but i cant remember this happening nor can i find messages where it happens #and even then instead of vaguing about me when you know im not doing well you can just approach me #or is there a whole different reason? do you avoid me because of something else? am i just not on your level after all? #if it was any other person i wouldnt have cared so much but they were one of the first friends i made there #we worked out so well in the beginning and now you realised im not who you thought i was and instantly replaced me #why does this shit ALWAYS happen to me? is there something wrong with me or is it everyone around me? #this is why i dont approach people. this is why im so intimidated by others. it doesnt work. ill always end up being less. #everyone always ends up being better and more and i am the replacable one. idk. just sucks

[simm-mouse]

Alright part 2 of my theory on hidden Nervous. I'll have part 1 linked if you haven't read it yet. I suggest reading that one first before this one

Alright, you know the section where I theorized that psp and hidden Nerv being the same clone? Forgot about that part, I no longer believe in that theory(if you personally believe this however that's fine, I'm just changing my views on it.). If you look on the wiki, there are a total of 5 versions of Nervous Subject. We already have two in Sims 2, but he also appears in 3 and 4. But the one in Sims 3 isn't going to be talked about cuz it's just him as a toddler, which doesn't really make any sense because mostly the adults and elders in 2, are children or have not yet been born, not even Glarn and Kitty appear, but Glarn's parents Notso and Zo appear not even as teenagers yet. If we go with the more common theory for the sims timeline that each game adds 25 years later besides 3, which is supposed to be a prequel, then Nervous would be an elder or dead. Which doesn't make sense (I know it's more the fact that the developers didn't really focus on the timeline from the other two games when adding premades from other games, but still it's confusing).

So we're gonna focus on hidden, psp, and 4 Nervous. All three are clones of Nervous. All three are different from the original as the Sims 2 shows copies of some Sims and they're not identical to the original. I mean look at Pleasantview and strangetown's Bella Goths, their appearances are different. Even though all four look different, one thing's the same. All four smell of trauma and cat piss

Hidden would actually not be seen outside of the house as he never got to explore out into the world before his death(which fits more with the name hidden Nervous). He still ages into an elder by the Beaker's experiment. But they didn't have enough elixir of life to age him back, so he didn't get age down right away. So after they torture him he goes up to the roof to look at the sky. Just like with the friday the 13th video, He dies by getting struck by a meteorite.

For psp Nervous, he looks the most normal out of all versions of Nervous. It's pretty known why he's like that, but I like to think that he's the most genetically accurate. He'll have Olive's, and Grim's biological genetics before his death. So he'll be almost completely different, other than having the same clothes, it's hard to tell that he's even a clone. So it's very easy for him to walk around town and not be mistaken as the original Nervous. He would still say that he's just working for the Beakers as a way to hide the truth from others. He probably was caught after they found him trying to sneak out, and that's when It was impossible for him to escape and had more painful experiments done on him. His body just couldn't take it anymore, and that's when he was shocked to death by one of the machines used on him. Well shit, two clones are dead, hopefully the next one doesn't die

The current clone they have is the Nervous from the sims 4. Even though that game is an alternate universe or some dumb shit that messes with the timeline, he's a Nervous so he's gonna be talked about. This Nervous is trapped with now four Beakers. Yes, Atom and Ceres also torment this man. They'd even put the blame on him for the trouble they caused. He has yet to go out and explore the world, so right now he's stuck in the house.

Does Nervous know that he has clones? Probably, he figures that the Beakers would clone him if they haven't put in the effort to get him back since he ran off to live with the Curious brothers. Has he ever met the psp Nerv since he's the only clone that went outside? No, if so they would've been fist fighting

#my bullshit #my art #fanart #the sims 2 #ts2 #strangetown #nervous subject #Hidden Nervous #ts2 psp #ts4 #the sims 4 #You may be wondering #Why the hell do you keep keep calling Nervous a cat piss smellin bastard? #Well I imagine Nervous would have one of those scents that are so disgusting that it hurts your stomach and you feel like gagging #Shit smeller needs a shower #Scent so bad it stings your nose #Ew bro

[dootznbootz]

I fucking hate those colds where you just have fucking fog for brains >:(

#I'm happy as I wrote quite a bit today (for a wip and it's shitty but I still wrote!!!) #I'm already in a funk with my writing??? like this may sound bad. but I genuinely love my ideas. like I have so much fun thinking about #them and planning them out. How things could fit together. I LOVE MY LITTLE DETAILS AS WELL!!! #but with my writing STYLE??? I weirdly hate it :'D I feel so scatterbrained ALL the fucking time and like I don't make sense. #so even IF my idea is good. the execution ends up SHIT. And it's really frustrating because I KNOW damn well how I want a scene to go down #but it's like I can't even find the words >:( or then it feels ALL over the place. #There are some ideas that I'm moreso EMBARRASSED by as I think people will think it's cheesy but idk. I'm the god of cheese #I have the habit of headhopping but I fucking LOVE knowing others thoughts. I kind of wonder if I should make separate chapters #in a way with the other characters pov??? idk I'm a lil freak. #I'm also thinking I should make a poll for if I should have a sideblog for...certain stuff I've written. #Mad rambles #vent

[suburbanlegnd]

every day I wake up and realize I hate my family more than I thought I did the previous day

#i hate them so fucking much #they always bring out the worst in me and invalidate my feelings #and then they wonder why I'm like this #well guess what bitch #i was abused almost my whole life #and I've developed bipolar bpd and depression and some other shit #so please stfu 💞 #i wish i could just move out fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck #rambles