#well at least everything is free

[lost-victorian-sailor]

im. having periods and tummy cramps. dying. (no, im just dramatizing)

#i need to visit my psychiatrist today cuz i need to refill my pills but there i will need to wait at least 2 hours in a queue #because russian medicine system is fucked up and you need to wait one hundred hours just to get a fucking prescription #well at least everything is free #but i still hate it

[lunarharp]

Very important conferences.

#witch hat tag #orufrey #some real serious discussions goin on in this atelier today. dont u doubt it. #agott is the only one who has ever thought about this because she is a 12 year old lesbian and UMM..FRIEND? LIKE FRIEND? IS THAT..LEGAL??? #this is all i drew today because silly things like this take hours lol. at least it's practice for poses -_- #i got the pattern of the girls' dresses wrong but i couldn't be bothered to change halfway through. #don't worry if you're like what is the naakiwan downs. is that name even mentioned in the main manga #ANYWAY i KEEP thinking about what if it's actually banned for professors and watchful eyes to date like that would make a lot of sense. #like maybe it should be banned. SO??? are they just low-key Aware of what the deal is and they're just Putting their feelings aside #until graduation??? take my tassel as an unspoken reminder of how i feel?? living together trial period?? this feels like it's truly it #When we're free to be together........ Sensei loves homophobia parallels without there actually being homophobia #Let's invent reasons why men cant be together. Ummm well whatever. i'm screaming in my head but it's fine. #this will probably form the theme of my orufrey for a while. i've thought of this before but for some reason today it's big for me. #i guess the tassels might not specifically be a part of that since they exchanged them before tower of books #and qifrey made his mysterious decision to be a teacher after that and..well whatever. I need more of backstory and just..everything? #But i also don't mind when vinanna interrupts my wishes with just a chapter of just being really dreamy? I love witch hat?

[xxswagcorexx]

one thing i've just been noticing abt ivory's videos is just. the idea of proving yourself, despite all of the odds against you. if its fighting a 100 wardens or killing god, there's always something to be proven. it's proving that you are capable of accomplishing anything, and you'll do so in a heartbeat.

and that, of course, builds a reputation, right? everyone knows ivory! and she's built a very intense reputation for herself, and she's pretty much feared on every single smp shes on

but with that reputation...you're pressured to keep it up. you're forced to go onto the next big thing. to prove that you can accomplish anything in a heartbeat.

so you do the same things over and over again, ramping up the stakes without taking a minute to calm down and breathe

but maybe, there's a small part of you that begs you to stop. to slow down, take a moment for yourself, and take a moment to look back at everything. just to rest

but.

you have a reputation to uphold. even as part of you screams at you and forces you to put in the breaks, the only thing on your mind is to keep on going. to prove you can do what you've set your mind to, and what you've worked so hard for.

(but in the end, it barely feels like anything before you turn away and look for the next accomplishment to complete, because you've killed off the part that forces you to step back and question what you're doing.)

#mcyt #ivorycello #having a normal one tonight . (lying) #btw i have 0 idea if this is the original intention of everything so don't take it as that #i support death of the author (when it comes to media analysis) anyways so. this is just what ivorys videos (so far) means To Me #i just find it So So So fascinating that ivory plays very strategically for everything she does #i havent found much fan content that explores that part of her which i think. is a shame bc its so interesting to me !!! #bc (at least to me) she always has a plan (in her videos) . everything she does is to lead up to a goal shes set for herself #and she Anyaylizes the best possible strategy that 1) plays to her strengths and 2) takes advantage or bypasses her weaknesses #and idk! thats just so Fascinating to me #also ive seen a few things abt ivorys latest video and burnout and. well its finals season rn so just been Thinking about that a lot #and i just think about it sometimes. anyways go watch ivorycello #and also if u wanna send me an ask abt this ^_^ feel free 2!!! im sure im forgetting a few things i can add 2 this but....ya #having a normal one tonight (lying)

[cozylittleartblog]

i think i am going to make a pay what you want digital zine this year for people who want to get into making little artist alley knick knacks like keychains and stickers and enamel pins, cuz i get a lot of asks about that and i think it would be nice to put my design skills to the test and have it all in one place! that being said, what kind of questions do y'all have about this stuff that you would want answered? everything from packaging to shipping to the products themselves, what would you guys want in there? keep in mind i have only sold on etsy myself and a couple craft shows, so i can't give much advise about personal storefronts.

please put them in the replies on this post so it's all in one place!

#not art #etsy #enamel pins #stickers #keychains #zine #i will probably put my suppliers in it for everything but enamel pins but there's a whole laundry list of reasons #why people dont give up their pin manus and its all very good reasons i am sorry to report #and i say that as a collector who loves pins and wants more pins in the world #HOWEVER i will be giving as many resources as i can to put people down the right path at least!! #that being said you might not Want to just use manufacturers handed blindly to you :') so i will be including pros and cons #of the suppliers i Do give as well. sometimes a manu is great for one person and terrible for another and both experiences are valid #it will be pay what you want so you can poke around for free if you're just curious #but if you do go into business and get sales please consider swinging back around and putting a few bucks in my tip jar #for sharing copious amounts of time and research in one little place for you #not to mention all the time its gonna take for me to compile this together in a zine wjbhdfsbhgjdfg #it will be a fun project though :) something new i've never done before

[lanshappycorner]

You will never convince me that Mayoi is physically weak because wtf is this

#it lives rent free in my head #also this might be me being delusional but i swear his 3d model looks more built than like. tatsumi . even if his frame is smaller #at least from the abdomen #but it makes sense if hes more muscular than tatsumi because. well ...literally everything #also off topic but i would like to hold mayois waist haha bye

[jaythelay]

Seriously imagine the fact that Left 4 Dead will live on longer than Apex Legends or Overwatch.

Really let it sink in that I don't mean that in terms of community, but in terms of being able to play the game 10 years from now.

#left 4 dead #apex legends #overwatch #pubg #probably who knows they likely got community servers now #anything by Warner Brothers #Left 4 dead costs 20$ at the MOST usually like 2$ on sale #Overwatch and Apex may be free but they're made like shit and will be removed from the store eventually #oh #oh wait #That Already Happened #with Overwatch #funny how time flies by faster than you'd like #permanence is only possible when it's allowed #and when the consumer keeps cheering for it's death #well #let's just say nobody will blame themselves when you own nothing permanently #start backing up everything #the rich don't want you to own shit #but at least you can watch DBZA on your computer without the FBI coming to kill you #so long as you're offline since VPN's have mostly given up privacy anymore #at least companies work together to have a barrier of entry to obtaining art #but only for poor people #fuck them

[dissociativemagicalgirl]

thinking further on my response and i do think CDDs can be a spectrum more than clear cut diagnostic criteria. like just in general. like just from what ive observed & what im reading (currently working on the haunted self!) i think theres a lot of overlap in symptoms between DID, OSDD, and even C-PTSD & BPD, which makes it harder to draw a line on whether certain presentations count as one disorder or another

it's an added layer of difficulty that theres so many different ways CDDs can present. i feel like every system i meet and every system i read about has its own unique ways of presenting, which im assuming is because it's a complex series of adaptations to very specific stimuli & circumstances. but like the variance in peoples' lived experiences makes it hard to make blanket statements about systems (or even like, alter archetypes, for example)

like theres just so many ways a system can look. some people know about their alters as early they can remember & experienced them as imaginary friends or voices. some people go 20, 30+ years without realizing theyre a system at all. theres polyfrag systems with layers upon layers of subsystems and complicated inner workings. theres people whose alters have only a passing awareness of each other. and so on. Individuals might share a diagnostic label, but there might be little overlap in how they experience being a system

anyways This is a lot of rambling that's straying into different territories.. sorry my mind may not be all here LOL

at it's core we are all experiencing various levels of structural dissociation ... unity 🤝

#borderline #i think changing diagnoses and/or comorbidity is common for us. So im not terribly concerned on whos using the 'right label' #When really diagnostic criteria arent set in stone. my perspective on this is probably at least partially informed by my experiences #being in the mental health system for a very long time & going through Most of the DSM-V LOL.. #in i hate you dont leave me. my copy is at my parents' house so i cant double check #But towards the beginning there's a list of how BPD has a lot of overlap with like. Most other disorders #i remember the phrase that BPD seems like it's on the of everything else #& i would not be surprised if other disorders related to complex trauma were similar as well - in that they can easily mask as other #disorders. & theres naturally going to be a lot of overlap with many other disorders #This went off topic but ^_^ if anyone has anything to say on the matter feel free to add on. not sure what the point of all this is LOL

[aki-draws-things]

For the sake of me writing more and more and MORE angst. 🙂🙂 I present you the fic I will most likely NEVER write because this wip just caused me anxiety... 😂 No, honestly.. If anyone wants to take this plot Tribble for themselves amd go ahead and make the most painfully heartbreaking thing ever, be my guest. I'd read it, but not sure I'll ever write more than little wips...

Enjoy...

(@miii-chaaan i said I was writing pain... I wrote pain. That's perhaps a little too much pain.)

Married Icemav, but at one point Mav is deadly sure his husband is cheating, disappearing for days, being unusually silent, not telling him where he goes, who he sees, only answering as "it's classified" over and over. He never doubted him, not like that, but now he does and damn, that hurts so much.

So he throws himself into tests and flying and everything to keep his mind away from that as long as possible.

Things just keep getting worse, though, ice receives calls at any given hour, he leaves in the dead of the night without explanation, throwing clothes on so fast, hell, even half tripping over the chair, waking Mav up. He's tempted of following, he wants to know, he wants to understand what ended wrong between them, making Ice take such a decision of cheating so blatantly. But he doesn't, because he still wants to trust him, somehow. Because something in the back of his mind tells him that Ice still loves him, and he must have valid reasons for acting that way.

Besides, Ice still is his guardian angel, keeping him out of bigger and bigger troubles with other admirals, so he must still love his husband, right?

Until he's called back at top gun, and Ice is not answering a single text he sent for a couple of days on a row, and now Mav is worried. Did something happen to him? Is he sick? Or just so damn busy? So busy not to text him? Not even a little good morning? Or goodnight? Nothing?

Well, Ice shows up at top gun too, in full uniform, but with disheveled hair and red eyes, like he spent the whole flight there crying his eyes out and just barely managed to stop. It's a sight Mav absolutely hates as he runs up to him, checks him all over, hands brushing over his face and cheeks and the dam just breaks again, and they both slid on the tarmac in front of the little daggers, and a shocked Mav too. But Ice, oh, he just can't stop sobbing so hard, so loud, so fucking desperate.

"how? How did you do it, Pete?" Mav can hear between the sobs, and he'd be damned if that doesn't break his heart despite not understanding. "when Carole passed?"

What? What about her? Ice knew well how he made it after, he was there, he stood at his side, he held him as he cried, as he lost the one who was like a sister to him. Ice knew, why was he asking now? "when goose--"

He chokes on his words, trembles, breaks into a louder sob and maybe, maybe Mav understands now, not completely, not everything, just a little little bit. But he has no answers for him, all he can do is kneel there and hold his admiral so tight, so close, until he will be ready to tell him.

At the funeral ice can't get out a single word, he should give a speech, as the higher rank between them, as the best friend. He should be the one saying a couple of words to remember Slider because he was his RIO, and they've been glued to each other since forever. But he can't.

Mav calls him the best RIO he ever flew with after Goose. One who deserved the world. The sky. Everything. One who stayed by Ice's side through everything, who looked at him with so much pride that made him, Ice husband, feel jealous. Mav is, in the end, the first to punch the wings on the coffin, even though they never called each other friends, it was left unspoken, but it was real. A pilot and his RIO, like ice and Slider. Like him and Goose.

Ice still doesn't tell him everything, just that he was there, holding his hand as life slipped away, further and further, like Mav did with Carole, just the same. And he's sorry, for not telling him, for keeping it a secret, but that's what Ron asked him to, not wanting Mav to know, because it would be too painful for him. Too much.

There's a will left, nothing official, a letter, old-fashioned, that gets delivered to Mav a couple days later, from Slider, in a crooked handwriting, trembling, and damn, it's almost painful to read it too.

"make it alright." it says, and Mav knows he's talking about Rooster, still looking out for him, still being who baby Goose called Uncle Sli. "once more, I leave my pilot in your care, he'll need you, more than ever."

But he needed you too, Ron. Mav finds himself thinking as he reads through.

"be good to him, understand him. Stay with him when he'll try to push you away, he will, I know that stubborn cat our Admiral is. Fly with him. Fly him to the sky. And when night comes show him the way back home."

He knew those words, Mav thought, holding the letter close to his chest. He nodded to the empty room, like answering a silent plea.

"I wish we had more time, Slide..."

He muttered before reading the final lines and break into a choked laughter.

"wish we had more time, Pete. It had been a honor flying with you. Until next time."

#Character death #Top gun fanfic idea #Icemav #ron slider kerner #Tom iceman kazansky #pete maverick mitchell #Off screen mention of cancer #But it's not ice. Ice is well and alive and a bit broken now #Implied slider Mav friendship. They just never said it aloud #And slide didn't want to have him sad too so he asked ice to keep it a secret #And Mav misunderstand everything. For a little at least #That wip is a free plot Tribble. Take it if you wish #Top gun angst #Aki writes

[selfcontainedunivcrse]

cvwoop would be fine about a timeloop actually

#and the universe said you are not alone! #This is sponsored by bitting about putting someone in a timeloop as affection < NOT A GOOD THING . A BIT #but it would not be a good timeloop protag Because it would take a really long time for it to care about breaking it if it was like. An - #average day #I think time loops can be about depression . Having depression feels like being in the time loop #If it could track down its buddies and had a day where everyone reasonably got along Well it would be fine. Ghis is fine #Free will here is already sketchy At least if everything loops it can't get worse ^-^

[dutybcrne]

The most openly bratty/fussy Alhaitham anyone can ever get is when he is sick, send tweet-

#hc; alhaitham #//He feels so gross & icky; everything & anything gets So overwhelming; he LOATHES getting sick so much #//WILL make it anyone’s problem if they try pushing him for whatever reason; even if he’s the slightest bit sick #//The only person he’d actively try NOT to ‘inconvenience’ is Kaveh #//But that’s bc he’s WELL aware Kaveh would try & make him being sick his business anyways if he found out #//Even if Haitham would rather he not—bc he knows 1) Kav’s got a lot on his plate & 2) Kav WILL get sick in the process #//Kav surprisingly does Not get whiney or anything when sick—rather; mans LOCKS TF IN #//He got so used to being alone and taking care of himself; mans would NOT ask for help until he is practically passing tf out #//And even THEN it’s begging whoever caught him to finish his task for him; not asking to be taken care of. Would be MORTIFIED if sb did #hc; kaveh #//Bc that’s there now jfbfb #//ANYWHO back on subject #//Haitham gets VERY clingy when sick. VERY clingy; VERY dependent and Vulnerable #//Around his trusted people; anyways #//But ye—if you’re friends; chances are he WILL hunt you down first above all when sick; esp if he had to go in for work #//And he WILL need a little help and attention; any and all of it that can be spared #//Or at the very least suggestions to help with the Ick until they are free to help him more #//In my mind's eye; Nahida is his most sought out friend in such times #//He'd curl up in the Sanctuary of Surasthana and nap the day away the Instant he gets inside. Esp bc she’d never turn him away #//She’d be fucken ECSTATIC to have him there; even make him a nice little place to sleep & everything; dim the lights & not let ANYONE in #//Best of all; she can’t get sick (by regular means) so she’s p safe. He wouldn't be as worried abt her catching anything he'd got #//Would dote so much on him; he’s like a baby brother to her #//Everyone in the rescue squad is basically just as well family to her too #//But he’s her favorite #//dendro god’s specialest boi (after Wanderer; ofc) #//Shh; no one tell the others jdhfbf #hc; nahida #//Whoop there’s that too hebfb

[orcelito]

Me painting my nails all black at almost 5 am when I have to be up by 10 to work at 11

Thinking to myself, "Ah. I really am not doing okay."

#speculation nation #negative/ #i guess. #i keep wavering on whether im coping fine or not #im trying. trying to not linger too much. trying to just live my life and continue pursuing my interests #tricking myself that everything is okay. smiling and laughing and enjoying the little things #and then it's nearly 5 am and im remembering the time my uncle came into my bubble tea shop while i was working #a surprise visit. and i got to take his order & recommend him things. a nice little thing. #im remembering trips with him. him driving and me being a little wallflower. but my family expects this so it's okay #im remembering my birthday. this year. where i was free from school and so looking forward to the summer #and then like a week later i got the news that my uncle had cancer. and a week after that my cat died. #and i got through it. i worked on getting better. i was starting to get better. & then i got the call from my dad #that my uncle was in the hospital again. and a week and a half later he was dead. #and here i am now. nearly 3 weeks later. and what do i have to show for it? #with cassy i cried 14 times in one night. it felt like a stab in the chest. a horrible wound. one i still flinch from remembering. #with my uncle... i had time to prepare myself. i began grieving well before he died. so it wasnt such a horrible shock to my system #instead... it feels like ive been slowly bleeding out. a gaping wound that isnt closing no matter how much i desperately try to. #bc the fact of the matter is that this is family. my uncle. who ive known my entire life. & who i was pretty close to #at least compared to my aunts on my mom's side. ive always been closer to my family on my dad's side. #it's not going to go away so soon. i know this. and it doesnt help that ive been away from my family for so much of this. #the memorial is in a week. im hoping it will help to heal the wound. at least a little bit. #i hate living life feeling like i have a hole in my chest. i hate losing people i love. #animal death ment/ #death/ #regardless. my nails are black. and it's time to go to sleep.

[byanyan]

we're down to 9 drafts left that're from before february, plus 5 which are from the last week. progress has slowed over the last couple days (for various reasons) but hoo boy, we're still working our way toward being caught up and only!! getting!!! closer!!!!!

#been trying to do at LEAST two older drafts a day on top of whatever newer threads I reply to/asks I answer #I'M DETERMINED TO FINISH OLDER DRAFTS THIS WEEK now that I'm under 9 left it's looking more possible..... #and from there...... I'm gonna try to stay relatively caught up #which has already been going well actually!!! replying to shorter stuff every day or two has been a lot easier #now that I'm like. not being so stupidly fucking critical of everything I'm writing #gossshhhh and in being less critical of myself I've been having sm more fun and been SO MUCH happier with how my writing turns out #just letting it flow........ I forgot I could even DO that for such a long time bc I'd get so judgemental of every word I typed #it's been so freeing. I can't even explain what's changed but GOD it feels so good ;u; #━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.

[deus-ex-mona]

“a sicks’ dream come true; coming soon to fanfic channels near you”

#presenting my cursed sleep-deprived brainworm of the day: nagisa gets sold to ft4 for uni fees #or well. more like they’re looking for a live-in assistant dude. thing. or sth. idk #and papa shiranami just sells his son off bc ‘hey it’s literal free real estate!!! plus he’s gonna get paid for the entire deal so why not?’ #nagisa initially pitches a fit at his dad a la gamushara yelling scene bc ‘dad!!!!!! how could you just sell me off to some strangers?!!!!’ #‘shhhh son; think of the free housing. in ✨t o k y o✨. stuff’s expensive there yk’ ‘but still!!!!!’ #so nagi sulkily packs his bags and heads out; trying to motivate himself with thoughts of ‘hey at least i’ll get to see hiyori more often’ #then he arrives at the train station and sees our favourite 5-man non-idol gang… and promptly passes out #when he comes to… poor guy finds himself right smack in the middle of a hugeass canopy bed #with dai sitting smugly by the side like ‘the great me carried you back mans. you’re welcome ;)’ with a tip of his cool fedora #and that’s when nagi realises that 1) it’s not a dream and that he actually has to live with his oshis now. and 2) damnnnn this bed is soft #cohabitation shenanigans happen. as they would seeing as the entire gang + rio’s niece live together in this oddly huge megu-owned penthouse #plus free bi-weekly vacations to megu’s family villa bc they can never spend a waking moment without each other #and nagi finds it strange that the group is oddly accomodating of his uni schedule when it concerns his job tasks and such… #or that they collab with lxl (hi hiyori!!!) way more than they should typically be… #but he brushes it off when rio asks him to cook with him or sth idk i mean how often do you get to cook with your oshi???? #and idk eventually the jig is up and it’s revealed that hiyori was the one who was accidentally behind the whole thing #like a ‘sorry nagisa i told uchida that you’d be moving here too but lxl were there the entire time and they went and got ft4 to buy you’ #or something kinda thing. idk. bc everything has to be lxl’s fault; even when they’re just lurking in the bg #i’m def gonna regret this later lmao. it’s almost 2.30 in the am; i have not written in months; and i’ve never read a sold to 1.d. fic ev er #this is the kind of cosmic horror that only sleep-deprived brains can cook up ig…….. oh wells #it is suiyoubi my dudes #the dude from gamushara

[zoekrystall]

Since I said in a last tag I use telegram now and I find it def useful reg palestine here some links

#a wild lux appears #Will at least tag it #free palestine #palestine #Tho I think links get repressed and this is not that formal just a hey and ik searching for a post that got em will be w this search #function hell #didn't know eye on palestine had it so good that I searched for others anyways that's all I know abt #I literally only got telegram since two days so idk a lot but I at least know those few are trustworthy #Got the first one linked in my pinned since a while now #Will prob only use telegram for that stuff #Anyways even if search suppressed followers hey #Head in hands reg a good friend saying well palestines aren't the problem hamas are esp reg how he is an anarchist like buddy please #Istg his trying to do everything peaceful will be his downfall gah

[eirelis]

🗡️ Ancient Overlord for NieR Weapon Stories Fanzine!

“...when the crystal was nearly full, the king's ailing heart proved unable to bear the burden and burst...”

#nier #nier gestalt #nier replicant #ancient overlord #my art #illust #crawls out of the grave...hello!! #time flies so fast now #literally i blinked and now it's somehow october #i wish i had some more art crumbs to offer you but alas #moved halfway across the country back home at the end of last year and started a new job #unfortunately my commute went from a 15 min drive to 1.5hrs by public transit (one way rip) so i have had a lot less free time!! #everything else is so much better though so worth it #i am saving to try to move somewhere closer to work #although looking at housing prices in this economy makes me feel dead inside lmao #anyhow i hope you've all been well!! #hoping to maybe get some more art up for halloween at least #we shall see

[alchemiclee]

I personally don't understand why kaveh x alhaitham is currently such a popular ship. haitham torments poor kaveh 😭 they're complete opposites and seem to hate each other. wouldn't they just be pure misery together? 😭 they remind me of straight couples. most straight couples I know hate each other and at least one harasses and torments the other and yet they call it "LOVE" and stay together, barely even tolerating each other, and being insanely miserable. it's usually as if they don't posses the self awareness to recognize it 😭 I don't understand why they do that. is that why that's such a popular shipping trope? because people keep doing it irl and think its goals or normal? i think it should stop personally lmao don't do that to yourselves 😭

#maybe its because i relate to kaveh that i feel so bad for him😭😭😭 that poor sweet man he deserves better. hes such a struggle #i can at least give haitham credit for seemingly not absolutely abusing kaveh's kind heart and using him #but hes still a bully lmao. or maybe its just classic empath vs ego with no empathy happening #i know it well because ive been kaveh in these situations my whole life. haitham reminds me of my dad/sister how he talks to kaveh #it feels bad and i hate it so maybe this is why i cant understand or get into this ship at all lmao #people are free to ship whoever they want though so i wont tell you not to..... #but cynonari are right there and literally best friends. relationship goals. they are my everything. i need more cynonari content 😆 #i could be wrong and maybe it's controversial but is kaveh x haitham (i forgot the ship name im sorry) so popular because #a lot of straight girls like to ship boy x boy and this is their relationship goals or experiences? 😅 so they project it to them? #at least in the kpop fandom it seemed to be mostly straight girls shipping boy groups for some reason #maybe im wrong and everyone is gay and i just dont get it lmao #but either way i feel bad for kaveh and i want to protect him and let him with me if i was in the genshin world #also i hope cynonari comes back strong again soon in the fandom #and im given more comtent to feed the gay gremlin inside me lmao