HUMAN THINGS THAT WOULD SHOCK/CONFUSE WALLY DARLING: A THREAD.
Slight gore warning, I think?
People waxing and plucking their hair.
Nail art. He would love it.
Tumblr. If you gave him tumblr he would end up scrolling all day to see art, and spam post his own. I'm sure he would also feel obliged to comment under every post to compliment the art, he's such a nice little fella
Organs. He would find them silly and interesting. You would show him pictures of organs and he would ask things like:"do you have different colored organs? Can I see yours?"
The fact that we have to go to the bathroom? Imagine being like: "Yeah whenever we consume things we need to make it go out of our bodies aswell." He would be like: "... Neat." He would then play by flushing the toilet numerous times, he would find it fun. He probably would end up clogging it up because he tries to see how many things it can flush.
Human teeth.
Iphones. He would like it since the logo is an apple. He wouldn't play with the phone he would just add it to his collection of apple things.
Videogames? He thinks that the character in the screen is real and he's controlling them. You explain how they don't exist. "How can you be sure about that?" he asks, "cause we make them, they're just codes." "But how can you be sure they just dont know they're alive since they can't tell you?" he asks again: you start rethinking the many times you tortured characters in The Sims.
Pokemon. He would think the creatures are real too. He would lose his shit to Applin. He would ask: "Can I have him?" and you'll buy him the plushie and say they don't live here cause you don't have the heart to tell him it doesn't exist.
Certain animals?? He would be confused on why don't they speak. He sees them as people, he would be like "Why did you lick me? That's weird," to a dog... and then lick him back cause he thinks its a human world thing. You say:"thats just how he communicates affection, " and he would start licking people too to show his affection in this language.
Emojis. If he started messaging he would spam emojis. Probably thinks audio messages are like calls, and you're left with a spam of audio messages that are like: "Hello? Hellooo? Why aren't you saying anything?"
Digital art. He would look in awe. "I have unlimited colors? That's fun."
Sensory videos. He would be like an ipad kid. His face is on the screen watching the videos all day. ShApeS anD CoLoRs.
Sensory toys. He would love them aswell.
Deodorant. "We spray this on our armpits," you say. "Why?" he asks. "Because we sweat and produce smelly liquids," you reply. "... Ew."
Showers. He would be like a cat, he would hate showers at first. He doesn't understand why you would want to be wet. You would then randomly find him standing in the shower with an intense fixiated look on his face as the warm/hot water pours down on him. He likes the feeling.
Speaking about warmness, he would absolutely love how warm humans are. He would just randomly hug you cause he likes how warm and comforting it feels. Probably would like sleeping with you aswell and cuddle.
Human movies and tv shows. He would think those are things happening for real. You explain that it's like theatre. "... Wow, your theatre is very realistic," he says.
Wars. He would be so confused. "Why would you hurt your neighbours? That's bad, just discuss things pacifically." Probably would make him sad. He wants everyone to be friends and an happy community.
Meat. I'm pretty sure in Welcome Home they only eat fruits and vegetables? Idk. He would ask:"Since humans are also animals, do you eat eachoth-" "No. That's illegal," you reply. "... What's an illegal?" he asks. "It's a rule: humans are prohibited from eating each other," you respond. "... Since I'm not a human can I eat one-" "NO."
People making out. He would stare at them. He finds it gross but interesting, he doesn't view it as a intimate sexual thing just a weird thing human do.
Certain social rules. Why can't you just say hi to someone and speak to them as if they're your friend? Why is it rude to stare?
An apple factory. Like the fruit. So... many... apples. He would be sad some apples get thrown away and tries to 'save' them.
Blood. You would try to explain it, he understands it as just red water circuling inside your body. He would play with blood or finger paint with it and won't understand why that is an horrifying image.
Spotify. Unlimited music?? You can save your favourites to listen to them whenever you want? Wow.
Pollution. He would go crazy and blow up. WHY WOULD YOU HARM AND LITTER YOUR HOME?? AAAARGH!!
Homeless people. You're telling me there are people who don't have a home? Everyone needs a home! Why don't they give them a home?!
Preschool. A place where you spend your entire day fingerpainting, reading books, making stuff and dancing? All of the things he loves the most. He would infiltrate into one, the teacher would probably call the police, he would get asked questions. He just wanted to have fun too....
Discovering that in grammar saying "the most" without anything else is just incorrect and doesn't make sense. He doesn't like being corrected about it. It's his thing. Don't correct him.
Cuss words. He would be shocked at how many cuss words he hears daily: watch your profanity.
Space?? People being on planets?? His mind would blow up.
Birth. You... make humans?? You create yourself? What do you mean they grow inside of you? How? Does it just randomly happen? You would rather die than teach him about sex. You say that you were kidding and a stork brings the babies for those who want one, it's their job. "Ohhh, that makes more sense," he says. Then he sees a cat or dog giving birth and just implodes.
Therapists. He would like them cause they would be the closest thing to his neighbours. He doesn't understand, however, why they demand to get paid for being friendly.
History. You're telling me there was a time when your kind didn't exist? And you know that because of just... history? How? What??
Earrings. To him it just looks like you're stabbing yourself.
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