#we serve free tea on trains for fucks sake

[theactualsunshinechild]

*banging my fists against the wall helplessly, tears streaming down my face*

MY RAREPAIR STILL HASN'T INTERACTED AND AT THIS POINT I'M NOT SURE THEY EVER WILL

#this is about my wriochi obsession btw #i am being tormented by the lack of anything #because i just KNOW #i just KNOW #That they would have SUCH funny interactions #please i want them to fight #i want them to fuck #i want them to have a meal with each other #i want Wriothesley to FINALLY have someone happy to accept a cup of fancy tea #because Childe is from Fantasy Russia and if there's anything i know about my country it's that we're all obsessed with tea #we serve free tea on trains for fucks sake #the tea section in the grocery store is larger than the vodka section #Childe would LOVE to be offered a nice cup of tea because his mama raised a polite young man #i need Childe to drag Wriothesley out to do things on the surface regularly #i want them to send each other letters #i want Wriothesley to meet Childe's family and wish he could have had a family like that #i want so much from them but they literally haven't even talked #wriochi #wriothesley #childe #tartaglia

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

So, I've been waiting for the perfect moment to re-read the new chapter because when I first did I was totally disassociated and just couldn't pay enough attention for more than five sentences BUT anyway I forced myself to read because the intrigue was KILLING ME. So far I haven't had the chance to read it in peace but fck it, I have to share my thoughts!

All those things aside, and for what my stupid overstimulated brain could remember/absorb... WOW I MEAN, for some reason I didn't though that the order to serve the tea came from Alicent!?!? I just thought it was Larys and his attempts to win the queen's favour. You know, like the fire at Harrenhall? Idk if I'm even making sense lol 🙃

It completely went over my head but it just makes so much sense when you think about her overall disapproval of the marriage. Put that together with her delusions of self righteousness and being this 'pious woman devoted to the faith and everything that's good and holy' and such and YES! This is her thinking she's "saving" babey somehow of the horrible burden it must be being married to Daemon. THE SAME train of thought of Ser Criston!?

I'm thinking Alicent inner monologue was like: -So if there's no consumation of the marriage it will make it easy to nullify... Okay, well, they did fuck,,, soo,,, umm, if they don't have any heirs then that'll make sinful-selfish-ugly Daemon dislike her and leave her and then she can finally be saved and redeemed by marrying a good man... Of course Viserys would allow it, even more if my father convinces him.-

And, Senna... She just completely disappointed me. I kinda get where she's coming from but girrrrlll that wasn't your choice to make! I'm a little conflicted because I don't want babey to lose another of her friends but that is just something that can't be ignored.

Oh and babey's confrontation with Alicent! And that slap! I loved it!

-I would rather be his whore than your saint.-

That line will forever be ingrained in my mind. It lives there rent free now. Whew.

So yeah, that was a ramble... I apologize for any mistakes, this must be unreadable. Heh

Thank you so much once again for this magnificent story! Lots of love to you and good luck with work!

-V

HHHHEEEEEYYYY, V!

Firstly, I am so sorry for how long it took me to get back to you on this one. Jeez. I suck. Secondly, I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter, aaaah! It was one of the two (maybe three?) 'big reveals' of this story, and so I had to pump out a lot of dialogue for it. The next one is also a little dialogue-heavy, le sigh.

I totally get expecting someone else, not Alicent! It's been interesting to read what people were thinking before I posted the chapter, and while quite a few guessed Alicent, the reasoning at least caught people by surprise. I think she's one of those types of people who do heinous things for the sake of what she believes is right; in a way, this makes her so much more dangerous than those who know they're in the wrong. Senna was a letdown, but she was the only way I could sort of rationalise as to how Babey was getting dosed while all the way on Dragonstone. I could totally see Alicent manipulating this poor minor noblewoman into thinking the ONLY possible thing to do to 'save' her mistress is to prevent her having the children of a man famed for his various cruelties. We see Babey in a low point next chapter, cuz she's just a little bit done. Rhaenyra, Miriam, Senna, Alicent... all the people she thought were her friends are dying or betraying her, poor girl. BUT she's getting new ladies, AAAAAND the big sis reunion is COMING UP SOOOOOOOON! I'm so glad you enjoyed the slap, I wasn't expecting it to happen but it came bursting from my brain and fingers and I left it in there, lol. She deserved it, haha. I'm pretty sure that line - "I would rather be his whore than your saint" - was what I came up with before even writing that scene, so I built everything around it. It came to me randomly, but I'm certain I've been inadvertently inspired by Titanic (1997) in the writing of it.

Thank you so so much for reading, and for sharing your thoughts! Thrilled you liked it!

#fanfiction comments

[imaginesbymk]

PINK + WHITE.

—chapter nine ; with heat & wet skin.

summary: teresa’s permanent resignation from the peaky blinders leads her to a whole new chapter of working in an art museum. but little did she know her best life would be butchered some time later when her former lover tommy shelby gives her no choice but to return to the peaky blinders after they make new enemies, with the leader, of all people, being the man teresa fell in love with one night after a wedding reception back in post world war; luca changretta. 

pairing: luca changretta x OC x tommy shelby

tags in this chapter: swearing, implied nsfw, drinking, mentions + drug use

[ chapter index / meet my oc / wattpad link ]

MASON was quick on his feet when he was given the slightly odd request Teresa had asked him to do last minute. It had nothing to do with the gallery or with separation of last minute business meetings to be scheduled in the margins of the diary. It was just that he had to safely track down a dangerous man. Luca Changretta was still in England, hot-headed with a plan.

Teresa loved fur shawls. Though she detested how the cheap ones she could afford wore out from time to time, from the "fur" falling out like leaves from a tree in autumn, or even its colour turning from new to depressed (and even she grew so envious over the women who wore the luxurious, expensive ones at parties). Tommy Shelby never bothered with buying her what she wanted, which she was fine with, but one man with the Italian genes spoiled her with one that she kept in her closet. A grey-ish white. Teresa often takes one look at it, before sliding it over to reach the silky see-through shawl when she is simply relaxing in her home. At parties she debated even thinking of taking it out, but then there was the other shawl that was made of black fur, and it closed together with a silver clip to keep her shoulders warm.

The fur shawl was just like the painting she avoids at her own work. Both were so beautiful and timeless, both sharing personal meaning. But tonight, it finally saw light from staying in the wardrobe closet for too long. Teresa held it out in front of her, then clutched it in her arms.

The bar was built together with grey walls, none sound-proof. On the other side you could hear the jazz band playing music for the party, or footsteps from the owner or a bartender heading out back for more stocking of gin. If you were on that side, you'd hear the giant doors spring open from the doorman that allowed Teresa to enter inside. The man at the counter watched as her dress fell all the way down to her heels, not too long so she wouldn't trip. Her hair was in its curls once more, and wrapped around like comfort was the fur.

She reached a booth and set her purse on the table. "White wine."

"Ma'am-" the server goes.

"A man will be joining me very soon." Teresa made a smile, as the unescorted woman if Luca were to not show up. Had she imagined if Luca burned the invitation letter she mailed to his hotel, or simply tossed it away, in future to be used as scratch paper, or even as a roll up (if Luca is one of the many people that did snow), she may have just wasted her time getting dolled up just to not be served at her booth.

"Last time I met up with a woman at a bar, she proposed a deal, and lied straight to my face."

She shot her head up.

Those eyes.

Looks like her night wasn't going to waste after all. "Are you talking about Polly?" She watches as Luca Changretta helps himself on the other side of the booth, the same server coming over to Teresa with her white wine.

Teresa waited while staring down at Luca's own glass being poured with four fingers of whiskey. Luca glanced at Teresa's outfit, not answering her question. "You're wearing the shawl I got you? I can't believe you still have it."

"What, like I got rid of it? Why would I give it to someone else who would treat it like a rag?"

"Hm." Luca took a sip. "So, why did you summon me here? Actually, I know the answer to that one. You're a businesswoman, as we both know. You invited me here to propose some kind of deal, eh? Like I got the time to spare one more fucking thing before I go do what I came to England to do?"

"I know about the vendetta, Luca." Teresa began. "And I know the deal you made with Polly, which was a lie, by the way. I know about that. What I also know is that you don't just plan on crushing the Peaky Blinders. You have more on your mind. You're so greedy that you would want to overthrow Alfie Solomons as well. If he were to betray Tommy with the deal you made with Mr. Solomons, you know you and your men would come after him as well and take over his business."

Luca nodded. "I had a feeling you knew. I had a feeling Tommy Shelby brought you back to Birmingham, no?"

"I know your patience is wearing thin, and you're done giving people more time. But then there's me."

"Right, forgive me," Luca places a hand on his chest. "Why not talk about the royalty in front of me as well? What could she possibly request for this time?"

"I wanna know why I was never sent a Black Hand."

Luca laughs, trailing his fingers around the rim of his glass. Whatever Teresa said or did, she definitely wasn't laughing. Nothing seemed funny to her on her end. She did, however, miss that laugh of his. It was more of a chuckle, but she loved it like it was honey in hot tea. "Let me tell you something. It's best to stay out of this, right? Since you resigned, messing with us is like throwing stones at the devil."

"I'll play in the snow with the devil to prove you wrong."

Luca scoffs harshly. "So you're one of those people that snorts white lines just to feel good?"

"That was just my own figure of speech, Luca. I don't do Tokyo," Teresa replied. She cringed at the habit Arthur and Michael carelessly picked up on. "It's everyone's thing now, but not mine."

"That makes two of us." He took another sip. "I'm doing you a favour here, Miss Griffith. Stay out of this and do your own thing."

"There's no need for you to call me that," she comments.

"Why the hell not? Formalities are a thing of the past now?"

"You're talking to me as if we just met. We had something together."

"Yeah, had."

Teresa gave a glare, grabbing her wine. Luca smirks. "All right. Whatever you say. Jesus, kid. You're so fuckin' difficult."

"Kid," she scoffs at his remark. "And Ada Thorne is on your list and she doesn't get her hands covered in blood. So why wasn't I included?"

"You feel left out?" Luca snickered.

"I just wanna know why. I know damn well you haven't forgotten about me. Even if what we had to you was just for pleasure, you found out that I was once a Peaky Blinder."

Luca stares. "You wanted out because you felt like it would devour you forever, so I respected your wishes. You told me why you threw in the towel. And I know you're not a Shelby, you don't wanna be a Shelby."

The server comes up to them. "Sir? Ma'am? Would any of you like to hear the specials tonight?"

"No, thank you." Teresa smiles.

"More whiskey," Luca says. "And for the lady, she'll have more wine." Teresa raised her brows. She didn't mind more wine, would she care so much about knowing her limit before it was time to wince at the tab?

"I forgot you love whiskey," Teresa points out.

"Italian whiskey," Luca made a hand gesture. "As I was saying... have you thought long and hard about this, as to why I'm here? As to why I want Tommy Shelby dead, how I now want everyone dead?"

"Your father." There was a pause between the two. The jazz band transitioned their music to a much slower song this time, and it started easing the nerves in both the former couple's systems despite the volume of alcohol consumed. "Arthur Shelby killed your father. John Shelby killed your brother Angel."

"If things didn't happen the way it did, my men and I would be cozying up in New York counting stacks by stacks."

"And I wouldn't be seeing you here," Teresa added. "Almost ever again," Teresa thanks the server for the excess wine refilling in her glass, then Luca's. "Now can we talk about the giant elephant in the room?"

Luca furrows his brows.

"I know why you left, Luca. I know it's been five years, but you really just packed up and left. I've never seen you so frantic until that day when you were running to the train." Not even an eye bat. "I grew miserable ever since."

"Can I say this?" Luca leaned forward, placing the cuffs of his tailored suit that it laid flat on the tablecloth. "Whatever emotion you saw in my eyes on that day, whatever it was, it was for the sake of being alive for my family. Someone's gotta help keep the business up and runnin'. None of it works if I'm not there."

Teresa stares at Luca. This man wasn't wrong. It wasn't like he was running everything in his family all on his own. His father led the family in Birmingham that Angel was a part of, even his mother lived with them, but what makes New York so important and comforting to Luca must have felt like a whole outlet of anything he ever accomplishes, how many Tommy guns he can hold and keep in his home like picture frames, how many men he has to hire from Sicily and America just to help kill one family. All of that was justified when he boarded that train to the Liverpool docks.

"Oh," Teresa straightened her back. "So much for being the big, bad capo."

"Be careful," Luca warned, pointing a finger at her. "Don't question a gangster's honour."

"You know I crack jokes here and there," Teresa's lips curled into a smirk as it reached the rim of her glass.

"So do I," said Luca.

She looked down at his hands that rested on the table. His experienced, non-scrawny hands that had a black hand tattooed on his wrist, one with a crown, and maybe some other new ones Luca got over time. She used to kiss all of them, even the one on his neck that was a cross. His right hand was wrapped with big, gold rings on two fingers, except he only kept his ring finger free of anything, that was something she wanted to bring up. "You got all those rings on your fingers but not a wedding ring.

"Not like you got one on yours, either. Unless you took it off before coming here," Luca jokes.

She shakes her head. "I've been too busy to fall in love with another soul. But you? You didn't tie the knot with Viviana back in New York?"

Luca scowled, knowing Teresa hadn't forgotten about that woman as he did. "No. I still see her occasionally."

"Yet you haven't done anything with her? Never bothered to find anyone to satisfy your mother?"

"My mother says any woman from New York or even from the old country would do."

"What did you say, after?"

"Mamma, you're killin' me.'" Teresa had to chuckle at that, Luca smiled at her. He then looked around the bar, seeing how more of the guests had gotten up to dance with their dates as the jazz music cranked up their higher tunes like a machine. "Don't tell me we're gonna be sitting here all fuckin' night. You wanna dance, Miss Tour Guide?"

The nickname he gave to her the first time. Did he really sit in front of her and tell her he couldn't remember everything they had, then? "I'm a little rusty," Teresa declines.

'We gotta stretch our legs somehow. I ain't even see your whole getup for the night."

Teresa had no problem getting up from the booth. She stepped out so that her heels were shown as well, and she placed the fur shawl down on her seat so her shoulders were out. The dress wasn't purchased by Luca, but by her, and she felt like a Grand Princess, like a little girl playing with their mother's dresses and makeup. She was never too insecure about her looks since it never bothered her, but she felt beautiful, and she wondered if Luca will still ever see her as beautiful whether or not she is clothed in front of him.

Luca kept on staring. "Then perhaps we can head somewhere else," he suggests. "Somewhere we're both quite familiar with."

How and why didn't matter, the young man who looked to be around Arthur Shelby's age paid no second thought to his surroundings as he aggressively snuffed the thick lines of cocaine that formed on the ledge up his nostril. He begins wiping away any excess off his face, exiting the balcony seats just as the Italian mobster escorts Teresa inside the dark theatre to their respected spots.

"You're a lover of theatre," Teresa spoke quietly as the show resumed to its first act.

"If you dress like one, you are one." Luca hooked his leg over the other, folding his hands on his lap.

It was silent, not the awkward or tense silence, but silent to respect and see the performance. Silence or absolute noise, the stage was the latter. The good kind of noise. The skimpy dancers twirled with batons, the man and woman playing the perky main lovers belted the note they must have spent days and nights rehearsing over and over.

Luca knew there would be performances every night back in New York City. There was always something to do and somewhere to go, otherwise you'd be glued to your chairs at home.

The show was about to end, and Luca, for the first time in God's glorious mysterious time, took Teresa by the hand and curled them together on his lap, his eyes were fixated to theatricality in front of the hundreds of people.

Teresa reacts, slowly looking down. It was nearly dark, but she could feel the giant, lumpy rings from his fingers bump into hers. He always held her hand during a show, and would only let go to join the applause when a number came to its big finish, or when the grand finale brought hypnotic joy and bliss in each audience member's senses like himself that he just had to give the standing ovation.

But just as the audience erupted in deafening applause, cheers and whistles, Luca and Teresa remained the only two members seated, their hands still holding.

HIS hotel room was neat and tidy before he left, now the sheets on the giant bed wrinkled like aged skin when Luca held Teresa down to remove her stockings. She missed his touch. The feeling of being pinned on a bed as he dominated over her, practically tearing what she wore for the occasion just to see her underneath as a sight for his sore eyes, it was definitely there, and her heart pounded.

"Luca," she breathed out a moan. He kissed her softly, now only responding with pacing movements, from positioning her to grabbing the protection from the nightstand drawers. Though he was careful with the dress and fur shawl that was set on the office desk he sat in earlier, within seconds her brassiere was tossed on the floor. With the help from Teresa, she managed to undress Luca from head to toe by just sitting up, and he was now unclothed from the fresh tailored suit his uncle made back in Mott Street.

They kissed again, and Luca went in.

+ me writing "smut": 🧿👄🧿 but ooooo shiiiit their “business” meeting was quite a night lol.

#pink+white #luca changretta fanfiction #luca changretta x oc #luca changretta #luca changretta fanfic #peaky blinders #peaky blinders fanfiction #peaky blinders fanfic #tommy shelby x oc #tommy shelby fanfic

[storytimefromthecreed]

Be Our Guest

Bellec lead them deep into the streets of France, where the only thing darker than the shadows were the minds of its citizens. Whenever he caught the eye of one, Arno found himself so taken aback with sorrow that his footfalls slowed and he stared. When Bellec got too far ahead of him, Arno shook his head and jogged after him. Things in France were dark, and he was a fool to think light could survive here. Steeling himself, Arno removed these thoughts from his mind and stuck close to Bellec’s heels.

The gray stone building grew so that it looked like a castle by the time he’d arrived to it. Craning his neck to take it in, Arno found his breath caught in his throat and his jaw slack. The responsibility of the duty that he was finding bestowed to him suddenly seemed far more daunting now that it was becoming real.

“Keep up, pisspot.” Bellec gruffed, and Arno hurried after him. Their steps echoed off the stone floors, hitting the walls, and reached his ears. The place looked abandoned. Tapestry hung from the archways in tattlers, and there were no torches on the rings lining the walls. Bellec spoke not a word, but lead him deeper into the building, explaining as he went. “This is our Bureau. We train here, hold our meetings, discuss our plans, and are among our own kind.” When Bellec said that, Arno felt the hairs on the back of his neck raise. Invisible eyes were watching him, but he had no proof. “Right this way, pisspot. They’re going to want to meet you. Keep your head about you, speak only when spoken to, and don’t embarrass me.” Bellec’s jab would have gotten some retort from Arno had he not been so nervous. Instead, Arno nodded.

The wooden doors ran the height of the hallways, and Arno noticed the out of place rungs and beams that decorated the high walls and ceiling. He would have given it more thought, but Bellec pushed open the huge doors and they were inside a large room. Stairs on the left and right led up to form a level, and there were beams and rings on the walls and ceiling. The second floor had doors and halls, but not a person. On the floor was the symbol Arno knew to be the Assassins. It was when he was investigating this symbol that Bellec stepped forward and spoke. “I bring Arno Victor Dorian to the Bureau of Assassins to complete his training and induct him into the Brotherhood.” Bellec’s words echoed and Arno watched the shadows tensely.

For a minute, nothing happened, and Arno’s eyes began to ache as he scanned the room and found nothing. Beginning to think this was Bellec’s idea of a joke, Arno opened his mouth to yell at the old man for wasting his time when the voice made him jump.

“Ma beau, Monsieur.” A man was standing at the center of the second floor, right in front of them. How Arno had missed him, he had no idea. His heart raced, and a faint sweat touched his cheeks and forehead. The man was dressed in a green hood, and his face was covered save for the stern line that was his mouth. Arno tried to gulp, but his mouth was too dry. Then, the air shimmered as if the room was vibrating. The corner of the man’s mouth twitched. “It is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight. And now we invite you to relax, let us pull up a chair as the Assassin’s Bureau proudly presents, your training.”

The shadows began to shimmer and come alive as the man’s voice gently picked up. “Be. Our. Guest. Be our guest.” With a kick, he flicked his dark green hood to expose his face and the lights in the Bureau began to raise. “Put our service to the test. Tie your napkin 'round your neck, mon ami,” The man kicked towards the stairs, adjusting his tie and giving Arno a brilliant grin. “And we provide the rest.”

The man leapt on the railing and slid down, singing, “Soup du jour, hot hors d'oeuvres. Why, we only live to serve. Try the grey stuff, it's delicious.” With a flip, he landed and bowed low. Draping a hand across his body, he stood quickly and gestured to the darkness. “Don't believe me? Ask the dishes!”

The room lit up, and rows of people appeared. They were formed in kick lines and began to dance as the green-coated man sang, “They can sing, they can dance,” he danced past Arno and saluted him with two fingers before joining the end of the line, “after all, sir, this is France. And a dinner here is never second best.”

They began kicking and as they did, they surrounded Arno. More and more people filed in the room, and Arno couldn’t believe how many people could fit in. “Go on, unfold your menu. Take a glance and then you'll.” The green coat slid to his knees to Arno. “Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest.”

The room began to sing, “Beef ragout, cheese souffle, pie and pudding "en flambe.” The circle tightened before everyone turned around and leapt away. “We'll prepare and serve with flair, a culinary cabaret.””

Only Greencoat remained. Face to face with Arno, he grabbed Arno’s scarf and wrapped it around his head. Frowning madly, he ran one tear down his eye. “You're alone,” then his looked frightened at the dancers. Tugging Arno’s chest to him and he hid behind him, “And you're scared.” Before Arno could push him away, Greencoat released him with a charming smile. “But the banquet's all prepared.” He pushed the corners of Arno’s frown up and danced away to join the others. They all linked, and he spun someone. “No one's gloomy or complaining,” dipping them low, he winked, “while the flatware's entertaining.”

Another booming voice came in and a man placed his axe in the hands of another as he rolled up his sleeves. “We tell jokes,” he jut a thumb to a young Assassin in tan. This man did a back flip off the wall and landed in a handstand before flipping again and landing gracefully amongst the dancers. The Axeman sang, “He does tricks,” opening his arms, more Assassins joined the line, and everyone found a partner. “With my fellow candlesticks.”

Everyone sang, as they twirled and dipped. “And it's all in perfect taste that you can bet. Come on and lift your glass.” They lifted their partners, and the partners pressed their feet to their chests before backflipping off. “You've won your own free pass to be our guest.”

Greencoat opened his arms and swayed his hips, wiping his hand across his forehead. “If you're stressed. It's fine dining we suggest.”

Everyone sang, “Be our guest. Be our guest. Be our guest.”

Everything went dark for a moment, and fear flashed inside Arno. When the lights came back on, a single beam was on Greencoat. Sitting on a ledge, he draped a hand over his face. “Life is so unnerving. For a servant who's not serving.” The Assassins were scattered about in various poses of woe. “He's not whole without a soul to wait upon.”

Axeman clapped Greencoat’s shoulder, frowning. “Ah, those good old days when we were useful. Suddenly those good old days are gone.”

Ghost came in, kicking a rock. “Ten years we've been rusting. Needing so much more than dusting. Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills.” He flexed and then dropped the pose, returning to kicking the rock. “Most days we just lay around the Bureau.” He was close to Arno now. “Flabby, fat and lazy.” He put a hand on Arno’s shoulder and his frown turned completely around. Grinning, he gave Arno la biase. “You walked in and oops-a-daisy!” Doing a backflip off his chest, Ghost ran to join the others, singing, “It's a guest! It's a guest!”

“For fuck’s sake.” Bellec crossed his arms, not impressed. “Is this what you lot have been up to? When Mirabeau gets word of this-”

From the top of the stairs, the Mentor and Master himself emerged. The dancers froze, and Bellec smirked. Mirabeau’s eyes looked around the room, about to question what was going on, until his eyes landed on Arno. A smile stretched across his face, Mirabeau walked down the stairs with a skip in his step, “Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed. Wine's been poured and thank the Lord, I've had the napkins freshly pressed!” Reaching the bottom of the steps, the Assassins flocked, some on their knees, others hanging from the ceiling, their knees secured on swinging seats. They leaned in closely as Mirabeau began his instruction, and groups flocked away to convey his orders. “With dessert, he'll want tea, And my dear that's fine with me. While the cups do their soft shoeing, I'll be bubbling, I'll be brewing!” Mirabeau strolled over to him, and Arno felt safe with him. He had kind eyes and looked at all the Assassins as his children. “I'll get warm. Piping hot. Heaven's sakes! Is that a spot?” He pointed, and an Assassin hurried to clean it. “Clean it up! We want the company impressed. We've got a lot to do.” He gave Arno a smile. “Is it one lump or two? For you, our guest?

Arno put up two fingers, and as Assassins rushed off to get his tea, he was pulled into the dance. The company sang, “He's our guest! He's our guest! Our command is your request!” Arno was pulled from one Assassin to another, arms linked together, circling one way and the other before being turned to a new Assassin. His face hurt from laughing so much, but he never wanted this madness to end. “It's ten years since we had anybody here, and we're obsessed!”

Greencoat threw an arm around him, “With your meal, with your ease. Yes, indeed, we aim to please.”

Ghost appeared at his side threw his arm over Greencoat’s. “While the candlelight's still glowing, let us help you. We’ll keep going.”

Axeman appeared and pulled Arno from the two and back into the dance with a spin. “Course by course, one by one, 'til you shout, ‘Enough! I'm done!’” Arno was dizzy when he returned to the center of the circle. Around him, they danced, performing leaps and tricks, did partner dances. All these factors happened by themselves and in unison at the same time.

Before he could realize what had occurred, the circle closed in on him and he was in a tangle of arms. “Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest. Tonight you'll prop your feet up, but for now, let's eat up,” Then, he was soaring. It was terrifying at first, but when he landed in the tangle of limbs again, he laughed. They threw him up again, “Be our guest!” And each time, Arno broke into laughter. Tears in his eyes, his sides hurting, and happiness in his heart. “Be our guest. Be our guest. Please, be our guest!!”

“Come on, pisspot.” Bellec grumbled, and Arno ignored his sore mood.

“Don’t ruin this for me, old man. Call me pisspot once more and we’re going to have a problem.” Arno rolled out of his spot and Mirabeau had his tea ready. Maybe finding a home with the Assassins wouldn’t be as difficult as Arno had thought.

#Arno Victor Dorian #arno dorian #Assassin's creed unity #ac unity #axeman #greencoat #ghost #bellec #mirabeau #The Assassins Do Disney #this is how it should've happened

[teenyrps]

💘 + all of them ho

send me 💘 + A SHIP and i’ll tell you—

NARITY

where they first met and how: in a club in new york. nate was trying to hide from his surprise blind date and verity was trying to get her friends off her back. she propositioned him with the intent to ditch him the moment they made it outside, but even from the beginning, they’ve never been able to resist each other.

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved: pretty sure nate was in love the moment he laid eyes on her. lest we forget he’s a FUCKIN SIMP.

who fell for who first: nate probably.

where their first date was and what it was like: battery park, i guess? nate was nervous, fumbling through dumb jokes, and probably got caught staring because he just couldn’t help himself. he thought about holding her hand the whole time, again, LIKE A SIMP.

who asks who out and how: they never had a moment where they were like “so we’re dating now, right?” they were just together.

who proposes first: nate.

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away: they didn’t keep their relationship secret, they just didn’t feel as though it was anyone else’s business. they’re both private people, so if you saw them out together, cool. if not, cool. they’re too consumed with each other to really care.

where the proposal happens and how: first with a metal washer in his cousin’s nursery and then again at 5am, hungover, in his boxers after she’d ditched him for five days.

if they adopt any pets together: NORBERT THE GREMLIN

who’s more dominant: in life? verity. in bed? nate.

where their first kiss was and what it was like: i feel like nate probably would have tried to kiss her when they met up in battery park? whether or not she let him is another story, but he would have held her face in his hands with a sort of reverence he didn’t deserve to have after only knowing her for a few hours. it would have been soft and sweet to start and would have ended a little oooh is it hot in here

if they have any matching couples stuff: nah. they have shirts that match but only because verity steals his and wears them. he’s totally fine with it.

how into pda they are: they fuck in public ok.

who holds the umbrella when it rains: idk nate’s from washington, he probably only uses an umbrella a third of the time, he’s used to it. but he’d hold it for her because he lives to serve.

where their usual ‘date spot’ is: a bed, a wall, some random room at a party, a car. basically like a dr. seuss book.

who’s more protective: nate

how long it is before they sleep together: pretty sure verity made him wait a while. at least a month. maybe more. and you know he fkn waited.

if they argue about anything: they argue about everything. it’s forplay

who leaves more marks: oof, i don’t know, it might be pretty even?

who steals whose clothes and how often: verity steals his clothes always.

how they cuddle: i don’t feel like they have a favorite position? nate just always wants to be touching her

what their favourite nonsexual activity is: arguing

how long they stay mad at each other: sometimes minutes, sometimes years. it depends on the mood, i guess.

what their usual coffee / tea orders are: black. sometimes nate likes oat milk in his

if they ever have any children together: unfairity rip

if they have any special pet names for each other: nah. nate calls her baby but nothing gross like schnookums or w/e

if they ever split up and / or get back together: lmao, did you mean their entire relationship

what their shared living space is like: nate isn’t much of a decorator. when he lived alone, he was very minimalist bc he didn’t really care that much. so verity gets to take the lead with the decorating, which means gothic, artsy, high fkn class. he knows better than to fuck with her aesthetic

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like: they prob just snuck off to bang

what their names are in each other’s phones: she’s in his as verity, he’s in hers as w/e she’s feeling about him that day. ned whiteforest, mortal enemy, etc

if they have any ‘couple traditions’: arguing?

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first: verity goes to sleep first (because she sleeps better when he’s in bed with her) and nate wakes up first. usually.

who’s the big spoon / little spoon: nate likes to be the big spoon but he doesn’t care as long as he’s touching her

who kills the spiders / takes them outside: i feel like nate would put a cup over it to deal with later bc he’s a lowkey bitch and verity would just be like FOR FUCKS SAKE and squish it with some toilet paper and call it a day

ALBEC

where they first met and how: either on the mission that sealed her fate with the pirates or shortly thereafter when she was taken back to the camp. either way, it wasn’t exactly pleasant

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved: feelings were always involved. they were just feelings like annoyance and jealousy and frustration.

where their first date was and what it was like: idk i feel like maybe they get sent on a mission together and take a little detour, sneak a bottle of wine from somewhere and find a little place not completely covered in dust and sand and just get wine drunk and shit talk each other and laugh. and it wasn’t meant to be a date but the feeling sort of sneaks in halfway through, and there are a few lingering glances and shy smiles and even though both of them are having trouble keeping their eyes from falling to the other’s lips, it doesn’t end in a kiss. sexual tension baby

who asks who out and how: i’m still figuring out their dynamic but i feel like they’d start hanging out maybe and it’d feel like they were together but also not? and al would get so annoyed eventually she’d just demand that he tell her what they are 

who proposes first: beckett?

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away: they’d probably keep it kind of secret, sneaking into each other’s rooms at night, finding reasons to wander away from camp, sharing secret smiles across the room.

where the proposal happens and how: good question! i’m glad you asked. idk

if they adopt any pets together: probably not

who’s more dominant: beckett probably. but al’s got a few surprises up her sleeve when she builds up some confidence and experience

where their first kiss was and what it was like: al shows up at beckett’s room after rolling around in bed unable to sleep. she stalks to his room, flustered and annoyed and she’s not really sure what she’s doing there or what she’s going to say when he opens the door, so she just sort of opens and closes her mouth for a moment and then just attacks his face with her face. because who needs words.

if they have any matching couples stuff: no

how into pda they are: probably not very? part of the fun might be in keeping it secret, anyway

who holds the umbrella when it rains: beckett is way taller than al so probs him. if they use them at all

where their usual ‘date spot’ is: they don’t have a usual spot, just somewhere with the least amount of dust

who’s more protective: beckett

how long it is before they sleep together: a long time

if they argue about anything: beckett likes to push her buttons, so they argue a lot

who leaves more marks: maybe al 👀

who steals whose clothes and how often: she probably steals a shirt to sleep in from time to time

how they cuddle: successfully.

what their favourite nonsexual activity is: playful shit talking <3

how long they stay mad at each other: al pretends to stay mad but he’s a charming idiot so it’s hard

what their usual coffee / tea orders are: another good question. don’t know

if they ever have any children together: i don’t actually feel like al wants to have children? not in the world as it is now

if they have any special pet names for each other: idk does idiot count?

if they ever split up and / or get back together: i don’t feel like they’d be an on/off couple?

what their shared living space is like: a little messy, a few plants, nothing too furnished because they’re always moving around.

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like: al handmade him something, spent a lot of time on it and second-guessed herself the whole time. beckett pretended to like it even if he didn’t. or he totally roasted her. who knows

what their names are in each other’s phones: he’s in hers as just eyeroll emojis. he’s probably got some nickname for her that annoys her in his

if they have any ‘couple traditions’: training?

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first: al probably goes to sleep and wakes up first

who’s the big spoon / little spoon: al would enjoy being the little spoon i think

who kills the spiders / takes them outside: al would herd it into a cup or container and set it free. she’d probably even tell it to enjoy it’s freedom and call it ‘little buddy’

REVINIA 

you already did this and it was perfect???? 

#ship: narity #ship: albec #ship: revinia #gremlin tag #meme replies #oflysithea

[calumbringbackthewatermelonshirt]

Shoot Your Shot [SoccerCal!AU]

Part 4! thanks for reading and feel free to send me your thoughts 

“Okay, so the party is tomorrow night. Tomorrow night is also when Cassidy gets back. That is not good.” Cal was sitting on the couch in Bia’s house next to Ash, typing away on his computer and muttering to himself. Cal knew that Cassidy was expecting him to pick her up from the airport, but he wasn't about to miss his best friend’s birthday party, the party he planned nonetheless. Cassidy would understand, though. She always did. Cal was excited nonetheless. Everything had come together beautifully, especially on the somewhat short notice. All of Bia’s friends had RSVPd, the cake was amazing, and best of all, all the decorations were completely set up already. Cal had swung by earlier in the day to look, and he was not disappointed. The gallery was absolutely flawless. The walls were completely white with intricate and perfectly executed works of art (of course, it being an art gallery). There were fairy lights strung all over the gallery, providing the perfect amount of lighting softly filtering down onto the standing tables with white cloths to go with the gallery. Cal and Sophie had even picked out a caterer to serve hors d'oeuvres and champagne (Cal still wasn’t exactly sure how hors d’oeuvres was pronounced, but nobody need to know that). The only thing that Cal was a little disappointed about was that Cassidy had pushed her flight to the night of the party instead of getting back today like she had originally planned. Cal had really wanted Cassidy and Bia to go dress shopping together, but Bia’s birthday would be perfect anyways.

“You’re damn right that’s not good. You better not be thinking of leaving Bia’s party to go pick up Cassidy from the airport.” While Ash was well aware of all the drama going down, he still wasn’t about to let Cal bail on his best friends’ twenty-first birthday party that he planed to pick up a girlfriend nobody liked.

“Look, I don’t like it either, but she’s my girlfriend. I think I kind of have to.” Cal shook his head and ran a hand through his tangled curls.

“Cal, you can’t even fucking drive. Just tell her you’re busy or something.” Ashton kept his stare pointed at his phone. Honestly, he didn’t feel like look at his friend at the moment. He wish he could tell Cal, warn him to savor every moment her got with Bia. Because, before Cal knew it, his friendship with her would be over.  

“Hey, guys.” Bia entered the room digging through her purse. She couldn’t find her keys, misplacing them due to everything on her mind. She then realized they had been in her hand the entire time she had been searching for them. Bia sighed internally, kicking herself for letting her life go to shit so fast. “So, listen, for tomorrow I was thinking we could just do something small. Maybe lunch with everyone?”

“Small? Who are you?” Ashton threw a confused glance at her. If there was one thing Bia loved more than partying, it was birthdays. Especially her birthday.

“Really? All you want is lunch for your birthday?” Cal figured she’d at least want to go for drinks. Still, if all they did was lunch, it would be easier to keep her party a secret.

“Yeah, I guess I just don’t feel like celebrating this year.” Bia inhaled deeply. She had realized last night that tomorrow would be her last birthday with Calum. It was funny, she thought, how much they took their past birthdays together for granted. Bia guessed she had thought they would have their whole lives together, and yet here she was, about to be alone at twenty-one. So, no,  she didn’t really feel like celebrating.

“Twenty-one years old and already tired of birthdays?” Cal wasn’t too worried about her lack of enthusiasm. When Bia saw his party, she would love birthdays once more. “That’s a little sad.”

Bia just mumbled “whatever” and stalked out the door. They were going to meet up with Sophie, Luke, and Michael at Sophie’s. It was a movie night, Luke’s pick. Bia was fine with that, though, she was always down to watch Mean Girls. When she, Ash, and Cal arrived, the other three members of their friend group were already building a pillow fort.

“Some tomfoolery is happening. I can feel it.” Bia called out while dropping her bag on the ground, a smile broad on her face. She rushed over to Sophie already laughing and helping to building on the fort.

Cal couldn’t help but smile, too. He hadn't seen her this happy in days, and he wondered why. Still, he pushed the thought from his mind. He and the group had planned this movie night to be a little different. Instead of just watching the movie and going their separate ways, the group would be spending the night at Sophie's, in order to start celebrating Bia’s birthday exactly when it began. Everyone had brought her favorite snacks and drinks, extra blankets and pillows. They were going to start her birthday off right.

Everyone settled down into the fort and started watching the movie, Mean Girls, just like Bia predicted. She cherished being surrounded by all the people she adored. Bia loved hearing Luke quote the movie during his favorite scenes, her and Michael trying and succeeding at throwing pieces of popcorn into each other’s mouths, Sophie crying at the end of the movie per usual, her and Ashton doing shots together to keep the night fun, but most of all, Bia loved hearing Calum giggle and smile at all their stupid shenanigans. This was all she had ever wanted, this was her happiness all together and in the same room. She closed her eyes and let the night imprint itself in her brain, painfully aware that soon it would come to an end. Still, she chose to let herself be happy, to let herself have one last day with her best friend. Ultimately, it would be more painful for both her and Cal in the end, but Bia allowed herself this one selfish act. So, she laid her head in his lap and closed her eyes. She couldn’t imagine a better start to her birthday. ||

The next morning, the group went out for breakfast at a small cafe, one of Bia’s favorites. The breakfast was full of happy talk and smiling faces. They were there for about an hour before Sophie caught Cal’s eye and nodded.

“Hey, Bia. Want to head to the mall? I saw this dress when I was there the other day and I want your opinion,” Sophie offered innocently. She and Bia had gone to the mall for a lot less, so Sophie wasn't surprised with her response.

“Sure. That sounds fun and besides, I could use a new pair of heels. Plus, I need to pick up a new mascara.” Bia ran through her shopping list in her head. A trip to the mall would actually be really convenient. “Anyone else care to join?”

The boys all shook their heads, so Bia and Sophie bid their goodbyes and headed to the mall. They sung and danced to music in the car ride there, the moments passing a little fast for their taste. Still, the mall was kind of their element. They navigated it expertly, wondering in and out of various stores. Bia had already picked up her new pair of heels when Sophie dragged her into a dress shop, known for its elaborate and elegant formalwear. Mainly, evening dresses.

“Here’s the one.” Sophie's fingers skimmed over an emerald tea-length dress with a high collar neckline. The solid fabric of the dress stopped and formed a sweetheart neckline, the high collar made up of the same lace that covered the entire back of the dress. The rest of it was plain satin.

“It’s beautiful.” Bia’s expression softened. She knew her friend would look absolutely gorgeous in the gown, but then again, Sophie looked good in anything.

“Fuck, I know. That’s it. I’m getting it. Now we need to find one for you.” Sophie took the dress off the rack and handed it to the nearest sales associate. Then she linked her arm with Bia’s. They browsed around for a few moments before something caught Bia eyes. towards the back of the store was the most stunning article of clothing she had ever seen. The dress had an a-line silhouette that, when she tried it on, hugged her body perfectly. Its neckline was a deep V, stopping right below the bottom of her breasts. The back was composed solely of the two spaghetti straps that held up the front of her dress. She loved everything about it, from the dusty powder blue shade it was, to the feel of the silk on her skin, even the way a small train formed behind her even with her heels.

“Wow,” Bia breathed, twirling in the mirror. This dress was exquisite, but Bia couldn’t justify buying it. She would never have a place to wear it. Still, it was seemingly made for her.

“Buy it. That dress, it’s just. You.” Sophie smiled, knowing full and well what was happening tonight.

“Well, ok.” Bia smiled. That was all the convincing she needed to buy her dress. She looked sexy as hell in it for fucks sakes. What other reason could she need? So, she splurged on the it, both her and Sophie walking out with designer dresses under their arms. They continued to browse about, until they realized what time it was.

“Shit. Shit! We’re late for lunch!” Bia cursed under her breath, disappointed that she would be late for the one thing she had asked to do to celebrate her birthday.

“Oh, fuck! C’mon. If we hurry, we can maybe make it with out being too, too late.” Sophie grabbed Bia’s arm and sprinted towards the entrance of the mall. Once they got into the car, they started laughing. Partially because of the fact that they were so out of breath and out of shape, and partially just for no reason. One look at each other and they were sent into a fresh round of laughter. This continued on for the majority of the ride to the restaurant. Bia had decided on a quaint Chinese place which was, unfortunately, a good distance from the mall. Bia and Sophie burst through the door of the restaurant half an hour after the time they were supposed to be there, still laughing their hearts out.

“It’s nice to know you two were having fun while you were standing up the rest of us.” Ash smiled. He was happy that Bia was enjoying her birthday. In Ash’s opinion, she could use a bit of happiness in her life.

“Sorry. We lost track of time at the mall.” Bia and Sophie took their seats at the round table, Bia next to Calum and Luke, and Sophie next to Michael and Ashton.

“Did you get anything good?” Cal turned his head to look Bia, the rings on his finger glinting as he stirred his tea.

“I bought a really pretty dress that I’ll probably never wear.” Bia gave the waitress her order and took a sip of her lemon water. She tucked her straightened hair behind her ears and bobbed her head to the music softly playing in the background a little. Bia was glad she had decided to let herself have one more day of happiness with Cal.

“How about tonight?” While Cal was still confused as to why Bia had been acting weird for the past few days, he was thankful that everything was back to normal for today. Still, he knew better than to ask her about her weird behavior on her birthday.

“Why?” As far as Bia knew, nothing was going on tonight. But, Bia was definitely not going to say no to an excuse to wear her fancy new dress.

“There’s a new exhibit at the art gallery downtown and I know you love that place. I figured we could check it out.” Cal hoped to God that Bia didn’t suspect anything. He had worked so hard to make this party perfect, and he did not want her to guess what was going down.

“Actually, yeah. I’ve been meaning to go check that out for a while now. It sounds perfect.” Bia smiled softly. Maybe this birthday wouldn't be so bad after all. The rest of the lunch was went by mostly the same, everyone chatting about nothing. At one point, Bia convinced Luke to let her french braid his hair, and she had to admit, Luke looked really cute with his hair done like that.

After a while, the group decided to go mini golfing to pass the time before the art exhibit. It took them a solid three hours to complete the course, but, to be fair, they got distracted really easily. At one point, Michael challenged Bia to a sword fight. They parried and jabbed until Bia accidentally backed Michael into the small stream running through the course getting him wet. Eventually, Bia won their mini golf tournament, beating Calum by a solid two points. Two points that were absolutely earned fairly and justly.

“All right. We’ll see you at the gallery around eight?” Cal limped alongside Bia. He couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when they surprised her tonight.

“Yeah. I'm really excited. Are you good hanging at my place alone for a while?” Bia was a little concerned about leaving Cal alone for a solid three hours.

“Yeah. I’m all good hanging at your place for a little while. Ash and Luke will probably keep me company for a while.” At the sight of Bia’s raised eyebrows, he laughed a little. “I know the rules, though Trust me, your apartment  will be fine.”||

_______________________________________________________________________

@marshmallowtraver @daniellesimagines @xx-cuddlemecalum-xx

#calum hood #5sos #5sos imagine #calum imagine #calum hood imagine #au #5sos au #calum au #calum hood au #college #college au #college 5sos #college calum #sport #sportau #socer calum #soccer 5sos #sport 5sos #sport calum

[deepfriedtwinkie]

Kingsman: A Trainee’s Mission (Pt. III)

PREQUEL FIC, this section ~1,800w

pt. I  | pt. II

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At six a.m. sharp, Harry has already been awake for precisely a quarter hour. He’s done a full stretch routine, made up his bunk, and by the time the piped-in sound of Big Ben’s gong resonates to wake the others, he’s on his way back from the sinks, swinging his toothbrush in a plastic sandwich bag.

“Fucking Christ.” Punctuating himself with a yawn to rival any zoo lion, Hamish leaps directly to the floor, apparently no fan of the concept of ladders. “I love waking up like I slept under a bridge in fucking Westminster.”

“Could be worse,” Harry poses. “I was anticipating a bugle, myself.”

“Oh, no, you’re right, that’d definitely be worse.”

“See? Perspective will get you everywhere.”

Then Hamish scrutinizes him. “How long’ve you been up and about, anyway?”

“Oh, only a bit.” Experience has taught him specifics can be obnoxious; he’s got to save something for later. “Habit, honestly.”

“I see. Can I ask a question?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“You’re one of those irritatingly-overprepared types, aren’t you?”

“Quite, yes.”

Hamish’s brow does a hop. “Fair enough. At least you’re forward about it.”

He takes that as a compliment. “Thank you.”

They seem to notice the parcels at the same time. There are two of them stacked at the foot of every lower bunk, each one a thick square of material resembling Burberry, folded crisply, bundled up with twine.

Hamish cuts the strings with a scouts’ knife from his pocket—Did you sleep the whole night with that there?—and each of them take possession of the article with their initials on the tag, holding them out. They fall away into jumpsuits. That’s what they are. Collared, belted jumpsuits. Harry’s in a khaki color, and Hamish’s in some sort of teal.

“We must be meant to put these on.” Logic quickly replaces his momentary pang of disappointment. Surely it’d be impossible to train properly in a full Kingsman Tailors’ bespoke suit. They must get those later. These will more than do for the time being.

He retreats to the corner to change while Hamish is still inspecting both sides of his garment. “Fetching. I’m just looking for the nappies that go with it.”

“Oh, come on, now, it’s not all that bad.”

“More perspective?”

Harry expertly buttons his way up the row, grinning in advance at his own wit. “Enticement, actually. The sooner you’ve got it on, the sooner I can procure blackmail photos.”

“Over my dead body.”

“How convenient; you’ve already got somewhere to put it.”

Hamish chucks the twine at him.

In minutes, everyone is dressed, and the sixteen of them file their way outdoors. Harry strives to take in everything in sight. It’s his first time seeing the grounds in their entirety, or at all, for that matter, given he’d arrived last night via underground shuttle from the tailor shop. He presumes the same must be true for the others. 

The compound, on first impression, is absolutely sprawling, encompassing what could pass for a sea of open field, manicured precisely enough to be ready for a sporting match of any kind. The estate itself stands steadfastly in the middle of it all like a nineteenth-century castle, or at the very least, a fine manor of nobility. More striking than anything, the center of the lawn is marked with the same emblem as the weaponry, the technology, and the jumpsuits they wear now: a white circle bearing the mark of a horizontal K. Four men could camp on it, easily.

It’s the last he notices of the scenery. Up ahead, over a queue of shoulders, he sees his immediate new favorite thing in the world. A wall of sixteen metal cages, each one containing the sweetest, most precious little puppy.

“Oh God, would you look at that!” Rather unprofessionally, he’s slapping Hamish’s arm. It’s a miracle he remembers himself and doesn’t bolt off to tell them all they’re beautiful. Because they are. “Do you think it’s possible they’re for us?”

“I think it’s possible you’re something else,” Hamish says affably.

“Good morning, gentlemen,” projects Arthur from the balcony, the moment they’re assembled in line. “I’m quite pleased with your punctuality.”

Yes, yes, get on with it, for God’s sake, get to the dogs. Already, there’s a little fuzzy one looking straight at him. Oh gosh, he wagged his tail.

“As most of you came within a childlike shriek of failing your first task, the emphasis imparted by your next assignment will be especially vital. Teamwork in all things is no less than utterly tantamount to your success—and your survival—in the Kingsman line of work. Precisely why, in a moment, you will all come forward and select one of these puppies for yourselves.”

Harry’s resting pulse replicates a hyperactive ten-year-old’s. Yes! Let us at them, then; I’ll break the wanker’s arm who beats me to the little one–

“Your puppies will shadow you twenty-four hours a day. You will be wholly responsible for their care and keeping. You will train them as Kingsman trains you. Ideally, by the end of the program, both you and your dog will have reached your peak potential. If not, well. At least you’ll have done something worthwhile with your time.”

Are you quite through!? Fall out, fall out, say it!

“Everyone choose your puppy.”

Bloody good enough! Harry barges forward, the first to reach the cages. Frankly he’d have no problem lying on the ground and letting all sixteen of the milk-bellied things scuttle all over him, but this is the one he wants. This scruffy little terrier, quite obviously a runt, whose pleading eyes alone could melt the polar ice caps.

He lifts the latch and draws open the cage, first coaxing the tiny fellow forward for an introductory sniff, then gently clasping him between his hands. “Oh, hello, sweetheart,” he whispers, scooping the puppy into his arms. He’s a lump of warm fluff against his chest, warm fluff with the softest ears in the entire world. “Hello there! Oh, it’s absolutely wonderful to meet you. Yes, it is. Oh, yes.”

The pup’s going about the business of sniffing his jumpsuit when Hamish reappears, leash in hand. Harry’s eyes trace it down to a puddled little dog who’s just tripped belly-up on her own lead. By this point, whatever torture their training entails, he’s confident he’ll sail right the hell through it, high on these mental images alone.

“What’s that one?” Hamish asks.

“Oh, I’m sure it’s a terrier of some kind. I don’t care. He likes me.” His face hasn’t unscrewed from borderline certifiable joy since they first fell in. “Yours?”

“Bloodhound.” He sounds chuffed with himself, giving a shrug. “I figure it’s right there in the name. Best dog for the job.”

“May I?”

“Certainly.”

Harry crouches, very careful with his own new friend, freeing a hand to stroke the baby bloodhound’s tummy. He has to laugh at the floppy little jowls; she’s almost more roll than dog. “Isn’t she a droopy girl?”

A recruit behind him snorts. “If that isn’t the last thing you want to hear at the disco.”

“Fuck off, Winston.” The prat’s deserved it since turndown last night, when he’d bragged to the room about his father’s yacht in the Aegean. It’s rather satisfying, honestly. Just as quickly as he spat his venom, he’s back to making friends. “Hello, princess! Aren’t we a gorgeous little dog? Oh, yes we are. Yes, we are.”

It’s his proximity to the ground that does it. For a split second, lavishing Hamish’s pup with affection, his hold on his own is too loose. Just long enough for the miniscule mutt to squirm free, barreling across the grounds like a pistol shot. Harry stands and whirls in time to see Winston’s dog take off after him, yanking the lead from his hand.

Oh, fuck.

Both of them burst into a sprint.

“Just fuckin’ perfect, isn’t it! Fuck you and your fucking dog, Oxford!” Winston shouts.

“Oh, you know damned well we’re both out of your league!”

“Oi, you get back here, dog! Bad dog!”

“Here boy! Heel!”

The puppies are headed straight for a picnic blanket in the distance. The unsuspecting victim is a man lounged at its center, reading from a manila folder in one hand, eating a sandwich with the other—and more to the point, wearing a bespoke suit, which officially classifies this as Very, Very Bad.

“Fucking hell—excuse me, Sir? Pardon me!”

The agent turns around just in time for Winston’s Doberman to snatch the sandwich from his hand. Harry’s terrier makes off with the only food left on the blanket: a spear of pickle.

The chase ends as quickly as it began. Both puppies brake under a tree, sprawling out to munch their spoils. Harry and Winston stagger to a stop in front of the displeased agent, arms now crossed, looking like he’d love to serve both of their hides at high tea with a bit of Marmite.

“What in the devil is the meaning of this?” the agent demands. “Two minutes into the goddamned task and you idiots can’t manage to keep hold of a fucking puppy?”

It’s only the third agent he’s met, and already his first impression success ratio is horribly imbalanced. Luckily there’s always a way to recover. Harry stands crisp at attention, hands folded behind his back, and he covers all signs of exertion with his most winning smile.

“I’m terribly sorry, sir…”

“Sir Tristan, that’s all the likes of you need to know.”

Head hung, Winston mumbles, “Sorry, Chester.”

The sigh and eye-roll from Chester-Alias-Tristan are monumentous. He points toward the tree with a rigid arm. “Just go and get the dog, you fucking imbecile.” As Winston trudges off, Chester mutters something else under his breath, something about having better luck had he proposed a grapefruit, but Harry decides it would be found too ungentlemanly to mention that.

“Can I replace your meal for you, sir? I’d be quite happy to.”

“No, thank you. I’m just in from a sixteen-hour flight, and quite frankly, I have already had enough of you infants’ bollocks for one day. Now I suggest you collect your rat and piss off, before I report you to Arthur for incompetence.”

Tugging his lapels, Chester takes leave in a huff, whisking up his blanket. Winston is already gone. With a deep exhale, Harry approaches the shade of the tree, smiling fondly at his puppy, who’s successfully gnawed the pickle down to half.

As he picks him up, he makes sure to bring the hard-won prize along, cradling both thief and snack, starting back toward the group. “Good boy,” he whispers, and presses a kiss to his fur.

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pt. IV | pt. V  | pt. VI  | pt. VII  | pt. VIII  | pt. IX

#Kingsman #Harry Hart #Agent Merlin #Kingsman: The Secret Service #Kingsman: The Golden Circle #fanfic #oh look Aud did a thing

[berrynarrybanana]

gloves: chapter 1

A/N: So here’s chapter 1 to something that I will hopefully have time to finish! Thank you so much to my best bubs in the whole wild world for supporting my idea and for helping me edit and for suggesting some great stuff! Thank you @thesaltyspice for being so helpful!! 

Harry had been walking home the same way for five years.

A left at Dodie’s Tea Cakes, a right at the Starbucks on Allen Street, and then a three mile stretch from Allen Street to his small apartment where is dog, Hudson, would surely be waiting for him at the front door. He’d made the journey so many times, he was sure he’d worn a path between the gym and his home. He never once strayed from his path, he never once tried a new route that would take less time. He was a man of routine and precision. But today was different. Of course the one day he does something different from his standard routine is the day he finds himself crouched down in the dirty alleyway on Rickman Road. Instead of making a right on Allen Street, he made a left. He had a craving for cheese fries from Henry’s Grille and he couldn’t be fucked to care about how many calories and carbs were in a single serving of those fries. It was worth it and at the end of the day he’d work it off. But as he stared at the bloody, beaten up girl leaning against a brick wall, he might have had to disagree with himself. Maybe it was a good thing for her sake that he’d done something different, maybe him finding her would be the reason she would make it out of the alleyway alive. But for him personally 0it might not be a good thing. He couldn’t take her to the hospital. He couldn’t get involved with this when the police started asking questions. He couldn’t.

He picked the girl up in his arms, abandoning the Styrofoam box on the wet cobblestone of the alleyway. He grunted, lifting her up and adjusting her properly so that her head wouldn’t smack against the wall as it lolled about. He’d take her to the gym. That was the only thing he could think to do. He could take her to the gym, call Doc, and patch her up. From there she could decide how to handle it all so long as he didn’t get tangled up in whatever mess she was in. She didn’t look like she really belonged in this area of town to begin with and that was enough to make him uneasy. She looked like she had money. Her fingers were well manicured, her dress looked and felt of high quality material. Her shoes were a name brand that he’d seen his sister drool over in shops before. It was all enough to make him queasy and unsure of the whole situation. Maybe he’d let Doc take care of her and he’d just go home. Maybe he would wash his hands clean of the whole thing and she’d never know he was the one who picked her up and carried her to safety. But that plan was fucked the second she stirred in his arms. He just couldn’t catch a break today, could he?

She nearly flailed out of his arms, her body going stiff and her eyes stretching wide open. He couldn’t let her fall to the ground, so he tightened her grip, but she was having none of it. “Hey, it’s okay!”

“Who are you?” She screeched out, squirming in his arms. “Put me down! I- where is he? Where is Lionel? What the hell is happening?”

“I don’ know!” Harry said firmly. “But if you keep freaking out I’m going to drop you!”

“Put me down!” She looked back up at him. “I have to go… I have to-“

“You have to calm down,” Harry said sternly. “And quiet down! You’re going to wake the whole town if you keep screeching.”

“Who are you?” She asked again, Harry’s feet still on the sidewalk now. “What happened?”

 “My name is Harry and I don’ know,” Harry strained out, clearing his throat as he looked forward “I found you in the alleyway, s’all I know. There wasn’t anyone with you.”

“Can you please put me down?” She squirmed again, gently this time. “I have to get home, I need to go.”

Harry sighed.

She was being far too complicated for his liking. But he had to think of it from her point of view. She’d just been beaten up and left in an alleyway. She was probably in shock.

“You’re hurt,” He tightened his grip on her, moving forward instead. “I’m gonna help you get patched up and then I can send you home, I’ll call you a cab and everything.”

 “Can you please put me down, you’re making me nauseous and I don’t feel comfortable being carried off by a stranger.” Her voice was soft and hoarse, a turn from her screeching just moments before.

“Are yeh gonna run off if I put yeh down?” He asked gruffly, quirking a brow up.

“Maybe,” She snapped back at him.

“Won’ get very far,” He stopped walking, looking back down at her. She had eyes that matched his own, just a bit mossier than his slightly blue tinted, green eyes. He set her on her feet and she clutched her head, swaying. He kept a hand on her elbow and she clutched his forearm.

“Are you one of Thomas’s men?” She asked softly, looking up at him with fear filled eyes, all traces of frustration gone. “Did he send you to bring me back to him? Because I’m not going. I’m not going anywhere near that retched, abusive and manipulative-“

“Don’ know who Thomas is,” Harry said firmly, setting the record straight. He wanted no parts of being mixed up in this. “I was just walking home and I found you.”

“You’re a complete stranger, tell me why I should believe you?” She said pulling her arm away from his grip.

“Because I don’t believe in violence or abusing anyone, especially women,” He said sharply. “I’m taking you to my gym, I’ll call my doctor and have him come look at you. After that you can take a cab home and forget about me, I swear.”

“Your gym?” She said, her brows furrowing in confusion. “Why does your gym have a doctor?”

“I train boxers, they can get a bit rough a’ times,” He sighed, looking around the dark street. “Look, we need to keep going. I can’t be seen out on the street with a beat up girl.”

“My apologies,” She snorted. “Just get me a cab now if I’m such an eyesore, let me go home, I’m fine.”

“You probably have a concussion, tha’s not happening,” He grumbled, softly gripping her scraped up elbow. “Let’s move, it’s just a few buildings up.”

Harry reached into his back pocket with his free hand, the hand that wasn’t holding up the girl, and he started dialing Doc’s number. It was one he knew by heart, a number he’d dialed too many times. As the phone rang, he kept his eye on the girl, her legs stiff and her movements slow and pained.

“You’re calling in the middle of my Criminal Minds reruns,” Doc’s voice was rough and hoarse, it always had been, but Harry found that to be a comforting sound. “What do you want?”

“I need your help,” Harry said. “Meet me at the gym as soon as you can? Bring your kit please.”

“What the bloody hell have you gotten yourself into?” Doc groaned out, grunting as he no doubt stood from his comfortable arm chair. “Tell me you didn’t get into a fight?”

“I was on my way home and I found someone who needs help,” Harry snapped. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Kid-” Doc said, but Harry cut him off.

“Just meet me there Doc, thanks,” Harry hung up the phone with a heavy sigh.

Harry was disappointed in himself.

Of course Doc would think Harry had gotten in a fight. He never could control his temper and it was possible that he’d never be able to. It didn’t matter that he’d been good for the last five years. People would always look at him like his entire existence was wrong, like he was a bomb that would explode if it was handled incorrectly. There were people who believed in him, believed he’d healed that broken part of his personality, but he knew better. He knew there were times he’d get so angry all he wanted to do was act on his anger. He knew how hard he had to fight to keep himself from feeling angry all the time. That was just something he was going to have to live with. He was a disappointment to everyone he loved. He was a disappointment to himself. It was just a fact of life. He’d never be able to change people’s minds and the way that they thought about him. He would just have to live the rest of his life trying to prove to them he was better than he used to be.

“Wha’s your name?” He needed to get out of his head, he needed to focus on her for right now.

“Thea,” She said softly.

“Wha’ are you doing in this part of town, Thea?” He asked, glancing over at her.

“Why is that any of your business,” She snapped. “What were you doing in the alleyway?”

“I was walking through it as a short cut to my house,” He snapped back at her, not really caring if she was hurt or not. “Not that it’s any of your business.”

She let out a short laugh at that, shaking her head. “I was just walking home.”

“Are you new here?” Harry asked. “Because the way you’re dressed, what you’re wearing, it makes you stick out like a sore thumb.”

“I don’t like what you’re implying,” She narrowed her eyes at him as she spoke. She sure was an expressive person and it was clear she didn’t hide her emotions well.

“I’m implying that it looks like you have money which is probably why you got mugged,” Harry said quickly. “I’m not saying anything else but that.”

“It wasn’t a mugging,” She mumbled under her breath, stumbling a little as the sidewalk became uneven. “Not an accidental one at least.”

“You think someone named Thomas made this happen?”

“I know he did,” She inhaled sharply. “I don’t really want to talk about it, I just want to go home.”

“Well let’s get you patched up first.”

Harry wasn’t one to push.

He never liked sharing his own secrets.

He pulled his keys out of his pocket as they neared the gym and fiddled with them, searching for the key to his gym. He guided her towards the stairs, helping her up them one at a time.

“Why do you have keys to a gym? Spend a lot of time here?” She asked as he slipped the key into the lock, turning it.

“Because I own it,” He said, pushing the door open. “Now, let’s get you fixed up.”

#harry one shot #harry styles one shot #harry styles #harry #harry styles au #harry au #boxer!harry #gloves:ch. 1 #gloves

[lovelawactually]

Heart Of Mine

Each of the team members filed into the room and sat on tufted cushions around a large rectangular shaped table, located in the center of the accommodations that Law had acquired for the night.  The space was much larger than any room of a typical ryokan that Tori had stayed in - even the shops and taverns in the area were much more opulent, most likely because of the proximity to the Shogun’s palace and the caliber of clientele they served.  The common area where they currently sat, was outfitted with the amenities that a guest might want or need - supplies for making tea, and to Zoro’s delight - bottles of locally brewed sake.  The room was surrounded on three sides by individual sleeping quarters - segregated by sliding shoji screens.  The screen at the back side of the room was open to reveal a view of the outside space, a small garden and hot spring bath.  Under different circumstances, Tori thought that she would definitely enjoy staying there.  

Tori groaned and pulled at the collar of the kimono that she wore - it had been provided for her, courtesy of Kin’emon’s Devil Fruit ability - she was not accustomed to wearing the stiff and heavy layers of clothing, and she felt like she was going to suffocate.  Law had made the decision that any time the team was to move about in public, they would need to do so in disguise - every member of the team would be easily recognized, save Tori.  She had tried to use that fact to her advantage, but Law was not swayed - she sensed his amusement immediately, once her clothing had been transformed.  She wondered which aspect pleased him more - her appearance, or the pout she wore from her discomfort.  

With a snap of her fingers, Tori rendered the space soundproof - she wanted to get this meeting over and done with so she could get more comfortable.  Law did not waste any time relaying the more finite details of his plan with each of them.  He calculated that they would need a few days to do reconnaissance and intelligence gathering before heading back to the Polar Tang.  He stressed the need to maintain a low profile, directing his comments about avoiding any unnecessary fighting toward Zoro and Kin’emon - the festival that was taking place was a tournament of strength, and he suspected that the swordsmen would be targeted by would-be challengers.  

Each of them would have a specific duty to fulfill - Tori and Raizo would be tasked with scouting out the areas that were not accessible to the public, and report back on the layout of the palace - the number and types of adversaries that were present.  Raizo would look for any sign of Kidd, and try to determine what his role was in Kaito’s army.  Tori would search for any information that they might use to their advantage, and place the newly modified transponder snails she brought along to listen in on the conversations that took place inside the palace.  The remaining team members - Law included - would attend the tournament, he was certain that it would bring the people he was interested in together - making it easier to get a handle on just what and who they would be contending with.  He was done with surprises.  

Law felt more confident about Tori being on her own after her training with him and Zoro - he knew that she could move without being seen, or noticed - even Zoro commented on how difficult it was to sense either Tori or Raizo, and his Observation Haki was the most keen of the group.  He was also more confident in her ability to overpower an enemy, should the need arise - the thing that he felt the least sure about was the time of day that all of this would take place.  The palace would be less populated during the daylight hours - the people who gave him the most concern would most likely be enjoying the festivities on the tournament grounds, giving Raizo and Tori less obstacles to overcome.

With the plan set, Zoro stood up and walked over to grab another small bottle of sake - he tugged the stopper free and looked out the opened doorway, “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am going to take advantage of that hot spring while I can.”  He strode toward the doorway - Kin’emon, Raizo, and Kanjuro stood up in unison - Kin’emon bowed at the waist. “I agree with Zoro-dono.  If you have nothing more - we will excuse ourselves, Law-dono.”  Law nodded and waved his hand, indicating for the men to go and relax.  Tori gasped and covered her face with a hand and turned away - Law spun around to see the reason behind her action.

Zoro lowered himself down into the water, but not before Law caught a glimpse of the cause for Tori’s reaction - Zoro’s bare backside.  Law grit his teeth and jumped to his feet, pulling the screen in to obscure the view - his head poked out of the space that remained, the view in front of him blocked by his tall frame.  “What the fuck, Zoro-ya?  Where is your sense of decency?”  Zoro leaned his head back against the side of the hot spring, and closed his eyes.  “Oi.  I said I was coming in - if you didn’t want to see, maybe you should not have been looking - perverted doctor.”  Law deadpanned - a clear indication that he was done with the conversation - period.  “Sorry to disappoint, but you do not meet my standards - Zoro-ya.”  He sighed,  “It seems to have escaped you that we have a woman with us - you can at least act like your elders taught you some manners.”  He slammed the doors closed, “Baka.”

“I know it won’t make much of a difference, but I really didn’t see anything.  I turned away before he moved into a clear line of sight.”  Tori was glad of that fact, the idea of seeing Zoro in that way made her feel - awkward, like seeing the old man naked.  Law turned to face her, eyebrow raised.  “He should be glad that we need him at his best tomorrow, otherwise -“  His sentence was cut short by a change in Tori’s demeanor, she stared at him with half-lidded eyes - leaning toward him, her elbows on the table.  “If it had been you out there - I would find it very difficult to look away.”

A satisfied smirk curled at Law’s lips, “Duly noted.”

#trafalgar d. water law #trafalgar law #one piece fanfiction #one piece oc #my oc #op oc #yashimatori #shambledsurgeon

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU

New to the AU? Start here!

Part1 Part2

Chapter 40.75: Step the FUCK Up Kyle!

The two arrive at the venue after everyone thanks to Jin’s portal express. Seeing everyone have fun sparked joy and even more excitement for the future. There was no gift or money giving because both of us were well off and just wanted everyone to attend. No garter toss because Tenya drinks respect women juice but I did toss the bouquet. That turned out to be a disaster because Pixie Bob, Midnight and some of the other single heroes were fighting each other for it. Then came my favorite part, the couples dance. We danced to Around by Niki with a slide-show of pictures on the screen behind us. We did a bunch of fancy floating moves with our quirks and we finally had our slow dance kiss at the end. Then came cake, it was almost too pretty to eat and I got a little dodgy when we were supposed to feed a piece to each other. The wedding photographer unfortunately captured all that nervousness but it was funny to look back at. I did so much dancing and drinking with my agent friends that Tenya had to take care of me toward the end of the night. We said our goodbyes and thank yous before going home.

“Tenya! I love you bitccchhh!” I was drunkenly serenading him.

“I know you do”

“I’m never gonna stop loving you, bitccchhhhh!”

Tenya was trying to undo the straps on my dress “Hold still, I’m trying to get you out of your dress.”

“Oh I’ll just-” I teleport out of my dress with just my underwear on “oops, I’m nakey hehehe.”

“Ah so that’s how you do it” he finally figured out my secret to fast undressing and dressing “you teleport in and out of clothes!”

“Yup” I teleport out of my underwear “now I’m true nakey” I throw myself onto Tenya “I’m not a virgin but I want you to do me like one.”

“No darling, you’re drunk” he took off his suit jacket “but if you wait a bit, we can bathe together.”

“Will you wash my hair?”

“Yes”

“Will you take off my makeup?”

“Of course, I’ll even do your skincare” He hoisted her up and took her to the bath “you want me to braid your hair after?”

“Yes please” I respond as I watch him make the bath “would you still love me if I was a boy?”

“Yes of course!” Tenya looked at her “I fell in love with the person you are.”

“Would you still love me if I wasn’t rich or successful?”

“I loved you before the riches and success, regardless, my heart is yours.”

The bath was ready and I didn’t have anymore questions, just too much affection as he tried to bathe me. I didn’t even remember what I said when I was drunk, I blacked out at the venue when Mimi and I pounded shots while the DJ played some oldies. Next thing I knew I was waking up next to Tenya with a bunch of love marks and bites on him. We went on a honeymoon to a government protected piece of coast where anybody can use their quirks, it was one of those quirk tourism things that peaked my interest. We spent our time getting drunk and beating the other couples at the quirk games that were being hosted. Just a whole week of just that, then things got pretty serious work wise when we got back.

-Robo Dog INC offices-

“Not to cause alarm” Beizu spoke up after reviewing some spreadsheets “but we can’t keep up with demand.”

“Oh shit really?” I questioned as I leaned over to see the sheets “fuuuck you right, does that mean we’re closing off or postponing consultations?”

“Closing off for 3 months at least!” He rubbed his face “I have some this week then I’ll be turning away people for robo companion.”

“How about you just schedule them 4 months out?”

“That might be a better idea” He sipped his coffee “but we need to start looking into expand the work floor” he sets his empty cup down “we can’t hire more people to work until we have the space for more.”

“I know! But to be honest, all the bigger buildings are too far to my liking” I slumped in my chair “I have to wait for a nearby one to go on the market.”

The company was in need of a lot of things in terms of expanding but I didn’t want to start any of it yet. And it was a good thing I didn’t because there was a rise in the villain world. The League of Villains recruited more people for an uprising and Black Phantom was called upon to take it down from the inside.

“I really wish we could’ve just sniped the hand-man while we had the chance” Jin sighed as he put on his gear “then maybe everything would be at peace.”

“Yea but he’s a good source of intel” I responded “but you know the goal for tonight, we get the hot one with the bird-mask and get out.”

“Why the fuck do all the villains gotta be so hot!” complained Mimi as she loaded her holsters “it’s not fair!”

“Can we refocus please?” I sternly snapped “we’re close to the hideout, if we get lucky, we could smoke them out again.” I lowered my visor “voice changers on yall, it’s go time!”

We raid the place silently and it seemed almost too easy this time but it was easy. Who knew that everyone was sleeping with no guard? I floated us in and once we found the person of interest, Jin just floor portaled them to the holding cell and we followed after.

“Oh man that was scary easy” I was in disbelief “did yall see all the spooning going on?”

“Yea! That was weird as hell but oddly cute” Mimi commented “speaking of oddly cute, who is this perp?”

“This is Kai Chisaki, aka Overhaul” I pull up the criminal record “he was responsible for some black market quirk erasing bullets and one count of child endangerment.” I show them the picture of the victim “you remember this little girl? The one the green twink and naked man rescued?”

“OH I remember! Poor girl was in pretty bad shape but she’s all grown up now!” Jin recalled “so this is the man that got away?”

“Yea apparently after Mirio got his quirk taken away but just before the green one ran off with the girl” I put the holding cell on lockdown “this guy and Nighteye fought but then he ran off and disappeared before he sustained serious damage. And he remained at large for years, almost cold cased until the new intel on the League.”

Mimi peered into the holding cell “Why are all the hot ones the most fucked up?!” she watched him thrash about “so we’re just gonna leave this one up to the interrogation team huh?” I nod in response, she sighs “are you going to pay a visit to the little girl?”

“Yup but this time I’m not going to dread this house visit” I smile “Aizawa got full custody of her when she turned 10 and she’s like 14 now.”

-Two Days later-

“It’s so nice to see you again Miss Palma!” Eri excitedly exclaimed “er, I should say Mrs Iida!”

I stifle my laugher “Oh it’s nice to see you too Eri!” I get pounced on by the girl “very lively! But I don’t have much time to play I’m afraid” I turn to Aizawa “thank you for letting me visit today, I know it’s your day off and you much rather nap.”

“Not a problem! You’re allowed to disrupt my free days” he motions me to sit in the living room “Eri, would you please serve the tea?” We sit as Eri walks out of earshot “Soooo, are we expecting another turbo child?”

I choke on air “Oh you got me fucked up! I’m not pregnant” I chuckled “sorry to disappoint but I don’t want a child just yet” I look at the picture on his end table of him, Mic, Eri and Shinso “children don’t just magically appear at my doorstep for me to care for like you!”

“Well, I was excited to be a grandpa, because I’d still be hot” he joked as Eri came back with tea “Okay then, what do you need to tell us?”

“Thank you Eri” I politely accepted her pour of tea “it’s about Overhaul, I caught him and is under custody in our facilities.”

“You’ve done it?!” Aizawa almost spilled tea on himself “how? The Hero Society deemed it cold-case!”

“I’ve been gaining intel from the League and other villain groups for years now via a spy” I sip tea “the moment we got word that the League was hiding him with confirmed sighting, my team and I swooped in and captured him” I hand him a folder “here, I know you’ve been working tirelessly to solve this for her sake. You’d be surprised what we found.”

“I don’t believe it!” he skimmed the pages “he’s been hiding right under our noses, of course Hawks had something to do with it!” he closes the folder “does that mean Eri can-”

“Yes, it means that Eri can attend a hero academy if she wishes to do so” I smiled as I finished his sentence “it also means that she no longer needs protected accompaniment, can travel beyond the 10 mile radius and can apply of a drivers license when she’s of age.”

“I can go to the mall by myself?!” Eri perked up “and I can go to UA?!” she turns to Aizawa, starry eyed.

“You’re not going to the mall by yourself! I’ll always be there with you” he said sternly but then chuckled “but yes you can go to UA, and just in time too! Entrance exams are coming up.”

“YAY! Thank you so much Mrs Iida!” she pounces on me again for a hug “I promise to do my best for all you’ve done for me!”

“Oh you sweet child” I start to tear up “it’s not a problem! I know you’ll do your best.” We say our goodbyes and I make my way home. It’s October now and I’m so satisfied with my life. At least, as much as I can control it. It’s been a month since the last I’ve heard from my caseworker about everything back home. Nothing has gotten better, more people I knew had fled their homes, leaving their parents behind in all the violence. It seems hopeless and I wish I could do something to help. At least my family is safe and getting by, I send them money so they can live as comfortably as they did when we lived in the old house. I miss my old home but I’m more excited to establish family to make it more homely.

“How was the visit?” asked Tenya, breaking my train of thought.

“Oh it was great!” I stretch my back “Eri is getting so big! And she’s planning to attend UA now that I’ve solved the cold case.”

“Thats amazing!” he comes closer to give me a tight embrace “you make such an impact in our community and I’m so proud of you every time you change the fate of others.”

“I’m just doing what I can within my power” I hug him back “you know I don’t give up on anything it I could help it.”

“It’s one of the things I love the most about you” he lifted her up “how lucky am I to have one of the sweetest souls in the world as my love?”

Luck had nothing to do with it, I best describe my time in this country as a train wreck that gets progressively weirder and it’s fixed with some duct tape. But I only live one day at a time, I’ll worry about the destination later when the time comes. Time passes us fast, once you get married it’s like time passes faster! It’s been a year and some change, I’m 25 and still very humble with all the riches and successes that has followed me. Tenya is 26 and slowly reaching the upper 20′s in the hero ranking, thanks to his brother and myself to help him along the way. It’s mid January, Tenya gets sent on a week long mission in Sendai, it’s the first time in years that we spent time apart. I made sure I make his welcome very momentous, because I had so much to share with him when he came back.

“I’m home!” Tenya yelled excitedly as he walk through the door “I missed saying that!”

“Welcome home Tenya” the little robo yipped “Mom missed you, she’s waiting for you in the main room.”

“Oh? Thank you” he was a bit taken back by this change of greeting, he’s so used to hearing Ita respond back. He makes his way to the living room, passing the kitchen and hallway to the guest room.

“Welcome home Tenya!” I yelled once I saw him “I missed you soooo much!” I jump on him for a tight hug “mmhm! I don’t think I like you being gone for so long” I pepper kisses on him “I need my man to love me so I can annoy him with my affection.”

“You know your affection doesn’t annoy me” he laughed at my clinginess “I miss giving you besitos and holding you close at night” he lingered on my hug “oh darling, it was rough out there but I’m so happy to be home.”

“I hope you’re hungry because I cooked you a grand meal!” I excitedly lead him to the table “ta-da! a four course meal in the candlelight!”

“Four courses?! Oh you missed me, missed me” he was shocked by the amount of thought I put into his welcome. As we ate, he told me of his time in Sendai and the other heroes that were called upon “...and I really hope that family is safe. Also do you think this trip will boost me up the ranking?”

“I talked to Tensei about that actually the other day” I said as I was walking back with dessert “he said that it will if you make it onto the media, like if they name you. Otherwise it won’t.”

He watches me set down dessert “Berry tart! Oh what splendid memories just flooded back” he cracked a big dumb smile as I served him a slice “remember when we went to that cafe at the end of 1st year and I was too shy to sit that close to you?” he took a bite “and as usual, everything you make is delicious! Oh man if only I told you that day I had feelings for you, it was a perfect winter day spent with you.”

“Oh stop! You had your chances, even on the bad days!” I playfully hit his arm “but I would’ve probably started to cry right there on the town plaza if you confessed” I suddenly remembered my big piece of news “Oh! I almost forgot, this invitation came in the mail earlier in the week” I levitated a yellow envelope with ‘Iida Household’ on the front of it in nice handwriting “I wanted to wait for you to come back to open it, since it’s addressed to both of us.”

He opens the envelope “It looks like a... birthday invitation?” he furrowed his brow and thought for a moment “who’s birthday is coming up? I can’t recall anyone’s except yours.” He opens the card and reads aloud:

Dear Iida household,

Hello! I’d like to invite you to my birthday! You see, it’s my very first one and I’m very excited to see you attend. You don’t know me but I’d like to get aquatinted with the both of you. There’s not much about me but my birthday is on July 28th, I’m a Leo. It’s a long way from now but I wanted to let you know because I know how busy being a Hero and a CEO must be. Anyways, I hope to see you then!

Yours Truly,

p.s. It just occurred to me that I don’t have a name yet, maybe you can help me with that and that’ll be your present to me!

“Huh, a person with no name?” he reread the invitation “and no address to said birthday” he turned to me “did the couple a few rows in front of us have a child that I wasn’t aware of?”

I stifle my laugh “Nope, read the invite again” I point to the p.s. part “see how they’re asking you for a name for a present?”

“I see that but what an odd request” he chopped, missing the point “wouldn’t it be customary to give a gift for a growing child? It’s their first birthday!” he sees me hold in my laugh “DON’T LAUGH! Tell me what am I not getting, you’re the riddle and puzzles expert.”

“Tenya, what did I serve you in this 4 course meal?”

“Baby quiche, side salad of baby greens with snow peas, steak with baby carrots and baby corn” he pointed at the tart “ and berry tart...but I don’t see how the meal relates to this mysterious invitation?”

“Oh goodness you’re hopeless” I laugh as I stand up “think long and hard Tenya, lots of baby named food, invite to a birthday 6 and a half months away, person that wants a name as a present and that we don’t know.”

He spends a good 5 minutes of mumbling to himself, trying to make sense of all the clues I pulled for him “I’m afraid I can’t crack this case” he checks the envelop for anything he could’ve missed “what did you piece from this?”

I couldn’t contain my laughter, I was tearing up laughing “Welp, I guess I’ll tell ya” I grab his hand and put it on my stomach “welcome home....daddy.”

He didn’t get it at first then it all clicked “Ita...your pregnant?!” he fell to his knees and put both hands on my stomach “oh my- I’m such an idiot!” he put his forehead on my stomach “why did you marry me, I can’t figure out something that’s so blatantly written out for me!”

“Silly, it doesn’t matter now” I put my hand on his head “we’re going to be parents! Isn’t that exciting that we’re building that future we thought we’d never get to?”

“Yes, I’m so excited to see the life you’re growing” he looked up at me, tears in his eyes “I said you could start your happy family with me, now it’s all coming together.” he kisses my stomach “you hear that? I can’t wait to meet you!”

I go through pregnancy once again but this time I took maternity leave at both jobs right at the 5th month of my pregnancy. I mainly did it to avoid publicity and cameras, so I can do my thing in peace. Surprisingly, I was the first one in my company to go on leave and it made me want to rewrite the leave so you’d get 8 months off instead of 5. So on said leave, I did the rewrite and had Beizu do all that paperwork and update everyone. He hated me for it but at least I wasn’t in the office overworking myself while heavily pregnant. We didn’t want a baby shower, mainly because we were already well off and it seemed like theft if we made our friends come and give us baby stuff. I ordered the baby stuff online for in-store pick up and uncle Jin and aunty Mimi would go get it for me. They were very excited to be an uncle and aunt to the point of jumping ahead to how my baby will interact and love them. My parents and in-laws were super pleased with the fact that we were pregnant. The In-laws announced it to the rest of the family and they all cheered that the family name will stay nice and strong. We decided to just have the crib and other baby stuff in our bedroom so we don’t have to have a baby monitor and have our baby within reach. It was nearly go time when Tenya got leave and I was in that nesting mode.

“We have to set up the bottle warming station!” I said franticly setting up the small machine “I’m going to pumping so much it’s not even funny! OH! can you-”

“Relax Ita, please!” Tenya begged “you’ve been up since 6am and hardly sat down” he rubbed her shoulders “why don’t you let me set this up while you take a nap nap on the couch? I’ll have a snack waiting for you when you wake up.”

“Alright, if it will make you feel better” I lean into his hands “then I’ll take a break.” I lay down and the baby started moving like crazy, not letting me sleep. 

“Oh you woke up?” Tenya asked as he saw me quickly sit up after an hour.

“Not to cause alarm” I slowly turn to where Tenya was and calmly spoke “but my water broke....deadass.”

Now Tenya was in panic as I calmly called Mimi and Jin that it was time. As we got in the car, I called my parents that I was on my way to the hospital to give birth. I can’t go to a regular hospital, so I have to go to a government protected one that’s an hour away from the gated community. Lucky me that Jin can portal us there in an instant. I was in labor for a while and gave natural birth to our first child. I didn’t need to go into stasis nor get stitched up, so I got see my baby for those crucial first few days. We got home just before the first summer storm.

“Oh wow look at you!” I cooed at my baby “you’re not scared of the rain or any of those big scary noises huh?”

“Is that normal?” asked Tenya, still trying to figure out how babies work.

“Not sure, but my mom said I was a very quiet and unfussy baby” I yawned “so maybe they got it from me.”

“Come on, both of you take a nap!” he coaxed the new mom to the couch “I’ll hold you both in my arms.”

“You’re too much” I yawned as I nestled myself in his arms with the baby in mine “but I love you.”

Tenya took in his surroundings, the house was quiet and the rain was coming down hard with some thunder in the far distance. He looked down to see the baby looking back up at him, the same way Ita would look at him when he’d hold her. “Can’t sleep? What is it?” he asked the newborn “this is your home, we’re going spend every waking moment here with you. Doesn’t that sound nice?” the newborn freed one of their hands from the blanket to extend out “Oh my sweet, little girl” he kissed their hand “I can’t wait to see the person you’ll become in our hectic and wonderful world.”

About a month later, we invited our friends to meet our baby. Literally, Tenya wanted a ‘meet our baby’ party instead of a birthday party because he REALLY wanted to show off our baby. I don’t blame him, we made a cute baby.

“What a cutie! Awww” Midnight squealed “what did you end up naming her?”

“Lili Perla” I responded with the baby in my arms “like the flower. Would you like to hold her?”

“I would!” she cradled the baby gently “Hello!~ It’s your aunty Midnight! I can’t wait to see you grow up into a little turbo kid like daddy. Or curly haired rebel like mommy.”

“Nemuri, isn’t my niece the cutest baby?!” cried out Tensei “I can tell she’ll have most of the Iida strong traits!”

“That terrifies me” I split my gaze between the two brothers “I can’t deal with yo rectangular like, fucked up brows havin asses! My baby is gonna be the prettiest little thing with all my family’s beauty traits.”

“I hope she’s outspoken like you” Midnight hands me back the baby “we need more Itas in this world.”

“Oh look it’s Lili-chan!” cooed Ochako with her son in her arms “say hi Maru! She’s going to be your friend and play with you when she gets big enough.”

“Don’t be shy Maru” coaxed Midoriya “the Iida’s are our friends and Lili will be a very loyal friend just like their mom and dad.”

We watched the little boy wave and Lili waving back “Oh she’s picking up fast!” exclaimed Midnight “that’s peculiar.”

“Right?! She already knows basic things like greetings, waving, attention grabbing and flails her arms to music” I giggle a bit “like, she can’t talk but she gives a little yell when Tenya comes home and a long yell when she needs something. She doesn’t cry for anything!”

“Hey guys, I heard baby talk and had to see the little lady” Mineta said as he walked up to me “may I hold her?”

“Sure, make sure you support her head.”

“Hi there! I’m your cool uncle Minoru” he cooed at the baby “one day I’ll give you a cousin to play with.”

The baby didn’t bide well with the grape man and started crying “Oh no! She hates you” Todoroki said flatly “here, let me.” He held the baby and she instantly stopped crying “See? She doesn’t mind me.”

I started laughing “Oh fuck she’s learning a little too fast!” I saw that Shoto brought Touya with him “Hi Touya, surprised to see you here.”

“Yea, I had to see for myself that you had a baby” he said as he peered over Shoto’s shoulder to see the baby “what a cute little squish” Shoto hands him the baby “you don’t know me but your mommy saved me from some baddies and brought me to my family, don’t you grow up and give your mother trouble!” He turns to me “she isn’t afraid of me.”

“Seems like she isn’t afraid of anything yet” Touya hands me the baby “I’m sure it’s just a curiosity phase and she’ll be crying more as she gets older.”

“May I hold her?” Tokoyami asked me “lets see if she will cry with me.” I hand her over and she smiled as her hands touched his beak “nope, she’s like her mother, curious and giggly” he nuzzles her and Dark Shadow comes out to see the baby. Lili sees it and starts to grunt to touch it “You want Dark Shadow? Um, okay.” 

“I don’t believe it” Shinso smirked “you two managed to make the ideal baby in one try” Tokoyami hands Shinso the baby “oh the things you’ll get to experience with your mother, lucky you” Lili tugs on his shirt “what is it? You like the satin shirt?” Lili grunts in response “Ita what are you feeding this child to have them this...smart?”

“I’m just breastfeeding her I swear!” I look to Tenya “we have no idea if her level of response is because of a quirk or it’s her own level of intelligence and we’re just doing a good job at stimulating her enough.”

Seeing her grow up into little Miss Independent was quite the journey for a new parent. She was walking at 11 months old and running a few weeks after her 1st birthday, causing a lot of mischief. At 1 and 4 months she was talking in English and Japanese, small phrases like ‘howdy’ ‘mom’ ‘dad’ ‘doggy’ ‘hot’ and ‘not nice’. Her first word was doggy because Muffin 2.0 had to switch roles from security to nanny when she’d run around the house. When she turned two, her quirk grew in, smaller rocket-like engines on her feet! The amount of joy the Iida family got from hearing about this brought them to tears that the legacy will live on. My family was impressed that it wasn’t telekinesis and was excited to see another random quirk in our gene pool. But it didn’t stop there, when she got a little runny nose and blew her nose, her clothes instantly turned to threads! She had a second quirk, Master Thread! Tenya and I were so happy that she was blessed with two separate quirks that we helped her in anyway possible to develop her skills better at home. She really liked dancing and all the pretty costumes, so I put her in private lessons and fell in love with it. We didn’t stop at her though, we had another baby after Lili’s 3rd birthday, a baby boy named Iwata El Roca. And 4 years after him, twins! A boy and girl named Hanaka Rosa and Tensei Oro...can you tell who named who? It was a full house come Christmas time of six people and a robo dog. Everyone was tired and sprawled about on the couch, Lili was holding Hanaka on the far side, Ita was holding Iwata as she leaned on Tenya’s shoulder. Tenya was cradling baby Tensei and everyone was asleep after a grand meal and watching a holiday movie, except for Tenya. He took in his surroundings and sighed. He was in a new home, the house was quiet with just the sounds of his family breathing, snow was falling outside, everyone was safe and warm. How weird that everything fell into place when he fell in love with one person, now he shares his love in 5 different people that show it back.

“Hnn, Tenya” Ita drowsily spoke “we have to put the kids to bed.”

“Just 5 more minutes, please love.” He softly responded “When will we ever have them this little and peaceful again?”

“Fine, 5 more minutes” she pulled her son closer to her chest “I love you.”

“I love you more” he kissed her forehead.

-Book 1 End-

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#bnha #mha #self insert au #chapter 40.75 #book 1 #will update regularly #ask me anything #//Palma-sama Speaks #did yall expect any of that? #a nice ending for this part of the AU #I have the start of book 2 and character sheets for the kids in my drafts ready to go #book 2 won't be as long but just as detailed and under 7k words. So stay tuned! #thank you again for reading! I appreciate your asks and follows uwu yall make me feel good about writing this silly lil thing