#we get her back next month

[augustvandyne]

Secret relationship with Andy Herrera. 5 times you almost get caught, and the one time you do? Please? I love Andy so much!!

yesss! i love andy soooo much too. with a shy reader because why not?

eight months

1.

When the two of you first started dating you were always in the kitchen for some reason. You’d cook each other breakfast, as well as enough for the rest of the team when they came in so it didn’t look too suspicious.

The two of you would both come in early. It was something the both of you had a habit of doing even before you started dating.

It was actually how you became so close and when you had your first kiss.

Once you started dating, the two of you would come into the kitchen and hangout. You’d talk and make breakfast, just spend time together.

But the first time you almost got caught the two of you were eating together at the table.

“This is really good Andy,” You licked your lips, pulling in any left over cinnamon from the french toast Andy had just made.

“Thanks,” Andy smiled.

She’d been done eating minutes before you, and was watching you eat at this point. Not in a creepy way, but in an admirable way. Like she couldn’t believe you were hers.

“I made it because I know it’s your favorite,” The firefighter rested her elbow on the table with her chin placed in the palm of her hand.

Your lips curved into a half smile as you finished your last bite of breakfast.

You turned yourself in your seat—you’d always been clingy towards people. It was how you showed your love, even though you were shy—and you pulled Andy’s chair closer.

“Alright,” Andy chuckled as you pulled on the chair. “before you get too comfortable let’s at least take care of these first.”

Andy took both of your plates, rinsed them off in the sink for whoever was on dish duty tonight, and made her way back to you.

“Now, you can be as clingy as you want,” Andy moved impossibly closer to you.

You placed your feet on the rungs of the chair Andy was sitting in. It was the only way closer to her without actually sitting on top of her, and that was another risk all in itself— but it was one Andy was willing to take.

“Come up here,” Andy jerked her head and you became shy all of the sudden. You dipped your head into her neck and that made Andy shake her head with a chuckle. “Don’t be shy now, sweetheart.”

She lifts your chin and pulls you in for a soft kiss, pulling away after a second to look into your eyes.

Andy may have pulled you in for more if the sound of laughter and footsteps coming down the hall into the kitchen hadn’t made way.

Andy gives you a kiss on the cheek as you scramble off her lap and onto your own chair. You scoot the chair over a few feet to make it look like two friends just had breakfast.

“Hey.. guys?” Victoria looked at you with a frown and you really thought you’d gotten caught right then and there. “Aw man, you guys already ate? Again?”

“I swear,” Maya shook her head. “You guys get here at like four am. And I thought I was an overachiever.”

“What can I say?” You put your hands up, trying not to sound suspicious.

2.

On the next occasion, a few months later, you and Andy were laying in a bed together in one of the rooms at the station.

For some ungodly reason, the two of you were on your monthly 48 hour shift, and you were catching some sleep before the next call.

Well, you weren’t actually sleeping, as much as cuddling and talking before dozing off for the night.

“You know, maybe we could go on a real date soon,” Andy suggested. “There’s an amazing restaurant I want to take you to.”

“But?” You sensed something.

“But we might run into someone we know,” Andy sighed.

“Maybe we should just tell them,” You suggested back, tilting your head towards Andy.

“Not yet,” Andy shook her head slightly. “I like having you all to myself right now.”

“I like being all yours but.. I have to admit it would be nice to go out with you,” You smiled shyly.

“Well, we can just risk it,” Andy smirked excitedly. “Yes. It’s settled. We’ll go after our shift.”

“You didn’t even ask if I wanted to go!” You threw your head back. “And I will at least need to sleep a few hours after our shift before I go anywhere. And how nice is this place?”

Andy was about to reply when the door swung open and you launched yourself out of the bed.

Travis stumbled in half asleep, “Why are you on the floor?”

“Um…” You tried to think of a good reason but then Travis stumbled into a bed on the other side of the room.

“It’s not the weirdest thing I’ve seen tonight,” Travis mumbled, already half asleep.

“That’s was close,” Andy said once she was sure Travis was asleep.

“Yes. It was,” You lift yourself up off the floor and lay in one of the other beds. “That hurt.”

You laughed along with your girlfriend, wishing Travis hadn’t walked in. It was probably for the better, because if it had been a few more minutes the two of you probably would have fallen asleep in the bed together, and that would’ve risen more concerns in itself.

“We can take a nap before we go,” Andy said after a minute of silence. “At our place, and I’ll help you pick something to wear. But if you don’t want to go, we can stay in—“

“No. I would never turn down seeing you in a dress,” You joked. “And I’d go just about anywhere with you, so..”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah,” You said as you stared at the ceiling, Travis’ snores lulling you to sleep.

3.

And so Andy did take you out alright.

You were living together by now, and were still, somehow, a secret to the station. She picked out a beautiful dress for you—of your favorite color—and a light green dress for herself. Slivers of skin peeking out of the dress at her sides.

She took you out to a nice Italian restaurant on the other side of the city; hopes of not running into anyone there.

It’d been going pretty well for the moment.

Andy had her elbow on the table again, her chin resting in the palm of her hand while she lovingly gazed at you. It was something she’d come to do around you, and you got giddy at it every time.

“Thank you for taking me out,” You tilt your head to the side. “But I am helping you pay.”

Andy rolls her eyes, “I figured as much.”

You chuckle.

The food came quickly after that, and you were just about to order dessert when you saw Carina and Maya make their way in.

You clench your jaw and said, “Maya and Carina are here. We should probably pay and get out of here before they see us.”

“I already paid,” Andy looks away from you guiltily as she takes a sip of her wine.

“Andrea!” You smack her arm.

“What?” Andy shrugs. “I was taking you out. Not the other way around. It’s only fair if I pay.”

“But— but—“ You sputter as Andy stands up and takes your hand, leading the both of you out of the restaurant. “You were just going to let me think I helped you pay?”

“Maybe,” Andy surveys your face, which gets redder but the second when Andy backs you up against the passenger side door. “Or maybe..”

Your breath hitches as Andy pushes your hair back and lowers her lips to your ear, “You can just pay for desert.”

Your cheeks are hot, and Andy smirks at your newfound weakness.

She opens the door for you and waits for you to sit in the seat before shutting the door and making her way to the drivers side.

4.

For your birthday you decided you wanted to just have a little get together and your—and Andy’s (although no one knew it was hers too)—apartment.

You were never one for big parties, and you didn’t really have any friends outside of the station. So you decided this would fine.

Everyone decided they’d all just bring something, that way there was plenty to eat.

The day before during dinner Maya, your best friend, had brought it up. You’d invited them to come over weeks in advance, because you knew how the firefighters liked to make plans.

You told them you were just going to order takeout and you could watch a few movies, maybe drink some beer.

But Victoria didn’t like that one bit. She complained and decided she’d bring a cake—whether it was one she made herself, or not, you’d never know—and everyone agreed with her, deciding on what they’d bring or make.

Andy ‘arrived’ first. She’d brought some fruit and vegetables, mostly just because she knew no one else would and that you’d be eating random unhealthy food for the rest of the night, so she figured it wouldn’t hurt if you had some healthy food to pick at.

“Hey gorgeous,” You beamed as she placed the trays on the counter in your kitchen.

“Gorgeous?” Andy smiles at the new nickname. “I should be calling you gorgeous. Look at you.”

You tip your chin downward, growing slightly shy at Andy’s words.

“I’m serious! Look at you,” Andy grabbed both your hands and spun you around, dipping you down as if the two of you had been dancing.

The hand Andy had on your back, holding you up, soothingly caresses your hip as she leans in for a searing hot kiss.

You moaned as Andy lifted you up while she bit your lip. She led you towards the couch, climbing on top of you.

Andy pulls down your shirt a few inches and leaves a mark on a patch of skin that is assured to be hidden by your shirt.

For once, you’re glad the front door to your apartment is located in the kitchen.

“We’re here,” Victoria sings from the kitchen, everyone filing in.

“Every time,” You shake your head, your hands resting on Andy’s hips.

“That’s not true,” Andy’s curly hair falling around her face. “Last night—“

You push her off your lap with a shy expression.

“Happy Birthday, beautiful.”

5.

It was nearing the ends of your shifts, and you and Andy planned to catch dinner and a movie afterward, so you decided to take a shower at the station— together.

Andy figured it would be safe because everyone else was heading out to the bar, and had asked if you or Andy wanted to come, but both of you denied.

Andy attacked your lips, her hands wrapping around the sides of your neck, her thumbs resting under your jawline to hold your head up.

You ran a hand through her hair while the other ran down her side.

“Mm,” You leaned your head back, your girlfriend’s assaults moving onto your neck. “We should get washed—“

“Shh,” Andy pressed her finger to your mouth.

“But—“

“My love,” Andy laughed. “We have time, I promise. We will make our movie—“

“Y/n?” Maya opened the door to the shower room. “Are you in here?”

You pushed Andy down and peek your head out of the shower, holding the curtain in place as not to flash yourself to Maya.

“What?” You asked a little rudely.

“Do you work tomorrow?” Maya asked with an antsy demeanor.

“No,” Your face softened.

Her wedding with Carina was coming up and you and Andy were both going to be her bridesmaids. You knew she was freaking out since it was so close.

“Well I need help finding something to wear and we still need to— to do a bunch of stuff—“ Maya paced the steamed up room.

“I got you, okay? Get me a list and me and whoever else is off tomorrow will take care of it. Okay?”

“Yeah, okay. Yeah,” Maya nodded. “You’re a lifesaver. Are you sure you don’t want to come tonight?”

“Yes! I am sure.”

+1

Maya and Carina’s wedding came faster than the two of you—you and Andy—could have noticed.

You’d been running around like a crazy person trying to figure out everything and anything for Maya, that way she wasn’t so stressed.

You made sure that the flowers, the catering, the guests, anything else imaginable, was in place for your best friends wedding.

The to-be-married couple requested that the two of you wore red dresses. Victoria and Ben were also told the bridesmaids dress code (Ben wore a red tie because Maya said she would probably call off the wedding if he showed up in a full red tux).

The four of you left your shifts early to help decorate, that way the two women could be calm and relaxed on the wedding day.

Once you’d all decorated, you headed home to get ready.

Andy wore a tighter fitting red dress that ended mid-thigh, with her curly hair framing her face, and it took your breath away when she revealed herself.

“Wow,” You looked her up and down.

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” Andy looked you up and down as well, and you felt yourself growing shy.

You were wearing a longer darker red dress. It had spaghetti straps and a slit up the side of the skirt.

Andy kissed your cheek, and it left a lipstick mark.

“Ugh, Andrea!” You moaned in complaint. “We need to go! You can’t do that!”

“I think I already did,” Andy laughed and licked her finger, moving towards you to rub the stain off your face but you backed up.

“Ew!” You put your hands out. “I’ll just wipe it off and redo my makeup on the side in the car. You’ll drive.”

“Yes, sweetheart,” Andy agreed, and the two of you were on your way.

When you got there, you and Andy helped Maya get ready while Victoria and Ben helped Carina.

Well, more Victoria than Ben. He was really just there as moral support. He was the only one at the station who was still currently married, so he was there to calm Carina’s nerves.

The wedding was about to start when Andy pulled you out into the hall, away from the crowd of people the women invited.

“You’re gonna smear your—“ You try to warn Andy before she placed her lips on yours, but she was too far gone. “lipstick.” You mumbled.

“I don’t care,” Andy lifted one of your thighs, your leg wrapping around her hip, the satin red material of your dress bunching around at your own hip.

“I do! You know we’re gonna— mm,” Andy smooshed her lips back onto yours, making your words go muffled.

“Shh,” Andy laughed once more. “You worry too much, my shy, shy girl.”

You duck your chin as always, and Andy lifted it to give you a few more kisses.

“Hey guys..” Maya lead the group of firefighters into the hall.

“We’re about to start— oh my!” Travis put his hand over his eyes.

Andy removed herself from you, dropping your leg to the ground when she does so.

“How long..” Ben asked awkwardly.

“Uh..” You coved your mouth, all of the sudden acting as if you didn’t know what was happening. “That’s an amazing question.. Andy?”

“Just like.. eight months,” Andy shrugged nonchalantly.

“Eight m— eight months?!” Victoria feigned hurt.

“How did you..?” Maya shook her head.

“We’re very good?” You asked.

“This is living proof that opposites attract,” Carina shrugged.

“Yeah, that is true..” Jack nodded. “Wait, so if you’ve been together eight months.. are you living together?”

The silence was deafeningly loud.

“How did we not see this?” Travis asked in a high pitched voice.

“Wait, now that I think about it, there were a lot of occasions..” Maya put her hands on her hips.

“Okay,” Andy put a hand out. “Let us fix ourselves up, and we can get this show on the road.”

Carina dramatically sighed, “How are we gonna put on a wedding after this?”

“Okay, babe, let’s go,” Maya rolled her eyes at her soon-to-be-wife. “Please don’t mess around in the bathroom. You have three minutes.”

#send asks #wlw post #andy is so cutesie #andy herrera x reader #andy herrera #station 19 x reader #station 19 #we get her back next month #ben warren #maya bishop #carina deluca #jack gibson #travis montgomery #victoria hughes #lovaaaa

[savrenim]

not to be another donations post but you may remember how over the summer we had massive amounts of plumbing problems and other unexpected moving costs? well. after proceeding to work every single hour available to me for six months, take no holidays whatsoever, and budget the hell out of every aspect of my life, I was actually on track to pay everything back and maybe have a little bit of wiggle room by the time summer came around!

and then we got a call from the vet about routine labs saying that if we didn't take Suzy in to an emergency specialty hospital immediately, she would die within in a week, she might die anyways if we took her there, but it was our only chance to have a few more months with her. after an extremely difficult household discussion, we decided that we needed to do as much as we could for her. she's been a beloved member of the family for 18 years. we were not going to abandon her in her hour of need.

with two days at the specialty hospital, the prognosis was better than we could have possibly hoped! the most important thing is she does not have heart problems at all, which means that we can treat her chronic kidney disease with normal IV fluids and with careful treatment she could easily be with us for years to come. the timely intervention also may or may not have saved her from acute kidney failure too, we'll know when we go back to the vet on Wednesday to get her blood checked where her levels have stabilized at.

two days at the specialty hospital means we are also down $3652 , and no longer are on track to pay back everything by July when it comes due unless a couple of uncertain things going forward Go Right, I do not trust everything to Go Right, and we're also still uncertain about what long-term treatment going forward is going to cost.

I still have my ko-fi and my patreon, but honestly, I'm aware that everything is tight for everyone always and there are also a lot of causes that need money right now and in the face of that "hey my family went super out on a limb to try to save our cat and would love some help not falling off" feels kind of shallow. but like. not to sound dumb or like a youtuber or podcaster, but, like. honestly I think the Most Helpful Thing that anyone could do for me right now is take a fucking HelloFresh link that will send you a "free" box for cost-of-shipping ($7ish?) if you Sign Up For An Account that you can then cancel Immediately After The Box Has Shipped and Never Give Them Any More Money Than That and get Six To Ten Meals Out Of It, and for getting someone to "sign up", they will give me a free box too. like. if 13 people are willing to take a link then I don't need to worry about food for the next three months. which would be. HUGE.

so I guess.... dm me if you want a link? otherwise expect to see a lot of promotion of my writing/ patreon as I scramble the hell to try to make this money up

#my life #pet sick for tw #donation post #sort of #yes I am aware that Hello Fresh is problematique / union-busting #they are also currently the only easily accessible source of Free Food that we can actually eat/use #honestly if anyone Wants To Help but doesn't really have the $7 for shipping #I will freaking venmo you back the $7 after I get confirmation of account credit #sending someone $7 for $60 of groceries still means you have Gifted Our Household with net $50 of food #at no cost to yourself #I'm not in As Shitty of a place as last summer bc my mother is also deeply emotionally attached to Suzy #and has agreed to spot us in July for a bit of the money if we pay her back in September #it's just!!!! really FUCKING frustrating!!!!!! we had the money saved!!!! I have spent the last six months KILLING myself to have the money #and now we are back to nearly square 1 except with six months instead of twelve months to make up the difference #so. free food would be much appreciated. as that would also mean that no matter what bullshit the next few months throws at us we at least #know that there will be weekly groceries shipped to us #me @ my job give me overtime hours #legit might destroy me again to work a 240hr month a month or two in a row #but three months of THAT would put me in the clear and they've got free coffee and energy drinks at work #however in lieu of my job giving me the ability to Not Practice The Best Self Care in return for Ungodly Amounts Of Money #'hi friends and mutuals can I interest you in a HelloFresh box' is the best I can do #I swear I will never start a youtube channel or start podcasting tho

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

#job secured 😛 #it’s full time 9 hour days but Fridays are 4 hours #my nepotism baby arc (paulina helped me secure it at the clinic I go to LMFAO) #well kinda like I applied and they called me back but I missed the call #so when I went to see her (for the first time since September she said she got excited when she saw my name on her schedule bless her soul) #I told her how I called him back but the like didn’t even ring it just went straight to voicemail both times #so she called him from her work phone and pretended I was a stranger she ran into bc patient confidentiality LMFAOEKFK #she went ‘I found someone in the hall who came to ask about a job because she got a call but hasn’t been able to get in contact with you’ #and he came down there and was Iike ‘I’m so sorry I’ve been doing orientations and interviews all day I must have missed you’ #and we were talking in the elevator to his office about the position and he goes ‘do you have time for an interview right now?’ I was :O #and said yes ofc #interviewed with the 2 pharmacists then and there and he called and offered me the position the next day!! #and I’m making more than I did at my previous job and it’ll go up once I get certified in like 2 months #they’re willing to train me and everything?? #and the reason I wanted this job so bad is bc it counts towards my healthcare experience for grad school SLAY #2 birds 1 stone baby

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

.

#these past two weeks have been so intense that ive just.. not spoken about it once i got home from work #blocked it all out #my beloved colleague whose desk is next to mine has cancer #breast and uterus. she needs two major surgeries #they just diagnosed her two weeks ago #so we've been trying to deal with that as colleagues and friends #because we love and miss her and i am so deeply sad as well #but i feel like i couldn't process that at all bc two days after the news of her diagnosis i was asked to take on half of her work #on top of my fulltime #which i agreed to do bc i like her tasks and i want to help her and i also know i can do it #but it does feel very off bc i know i don't earn enough money for this workload to be long term and it is def like this #for the coming four months at least #so i did tell my manager that i would like a raise and. that bitch told me to BUY MORE SECOND HAND SHIT. #i seriously thought i saw my life flash before my eyes #then the day after she asked one of my colleagues who's been with the firm for over 30 years whether she was looking for another job maybe? #which caused that colleague to instantly go home in tears and be home from basically a nervous breakdown the past 1.5 week #which is her full right and i support her with all my heart but bc my management sucks it meant that we had to also carry her tasks ofc #i felt soooo spread thin and super super angry actually but i didn't even realise how angry i was until last thursday my colleague w cancer #came by the office. and talked about all of it. and i suddenly realised how sad i was but then also how angry #but i was just blocking it all out trying to stay afloat #bc we told her about what the manager had said and she said “i hope that i get the chance to really tell her how it is someday.” #“because the stress she causes with people can actually kill you. just look at me.” #and the rest of the day i felt so ready to be done with everything actually #but seeing her anger made me see my own anger #and released me of my own pent up emotions bc i had actual leg pains this week and it was purely psychosomatic #i then managed to tell some friends yesterday about what was going on and their outrage spurred me on even more #so today i emailed hr. demanding a raise #doing this amount of work while constantly feeling like the house is on fire while also struggling financially seriously makes me suicidal #and i am not joking #so.. if nothing comes of that im leaving that job and not looking back

[8rujaa]

to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?

#im emotionally stuck due to the constant reliving of what happened #i get these weirdly intense flashbacks where i can remember the how the fabric of the couch looked like up close #and how they felt. and how everything looked. the way the colored lights hit the room a certain way #i think i did myself a disservice by thinking i was soooo in love that i didn’t want to forget any details lmao #now i can remember everything like a photograph and sometimes i find myself back in my old apartment and the fear floods my chest #and i can’t breathe and my stomach starts turning it’s terrible. i really felt like i was in hell #i stopped smoking ouid 3 weeks ago bc whenever these flashbacks would happen the high would make them HD and it would send me into a loop #but now i think weed was the thing keeping me above water… it’s been a rough 3 weeks. but before i start smoking again #i wanted to ask if anyone found something else that made it a little easier #it’s been months since our break up and i really want to move on. i’ve tried to meet other people but i’m terrified of men #and i find myself unable to connect with anyone… #i’ve been physically better which i am so grateful for because being unhealthy was my biggest reason i was so depressed #i’ve been doing therapy but i talk about the same thing with her every week. i’m tired of it #i think i’m still in disbelief that they did that to me. i never thought they’d be capable of hurting someone so badly. #i can’t get over the fact that he r***** me for months while i was disabled and pretended not to know what he was doing was bad #i realized he knew when he tried to make it look like i was crazy. that made me really sad. i think i was hoping he was clueless so #i could still believe he was a good person… or at least the man i fell in love with. i was willing to forgive him once he apologized… #when he tried to make it seem like i was going insane the blindfold came off and i saw him for who he really was #like no wonder i was so scared of u dude… no wonder i kept having panic attacks anytime we were together and i couldn’t sleep next to u #i’ve been afraid to admit that shit broke me as a person. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same. i can’t function. #plus knowing i stayed for her bc i was worried for her and didn’t want her to experience the same thing without someone there bc i realized #how good he was at gaslighting and lying. only to find out she was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me… she wanted me gone… #i went thru all that for nothing… #and i still don’t understand why each time i tried to leave for my own good- to get medical help and support they begged me to stay!!! why #brain vomit

[ryonello]

they have no idea how heartless i am 💜

#reyna #valorant #zyanya mondragon #wtf i never knew her real name that kinda pogs #miss reyna i have feelings for u #idk how i managed it but this print came out sO hotte i am flushed emoji #😳👉👈 #ANYWAY dunno how many more prints i can get done before smash n gamma but at least caustic n reyna r done <3 #maybe another one or two ...... raze n path r the next most requested i thiNk #but i kinda wanna do ............... sova or chamber ........... hhrngh #WE WILL SEE #my art #kis kis #i probly wont set up print preorders until after im back from cons so late this month i think !!! #keep an eye out if ur interest :] #INTERESTED i can spell

[oloreaa]

Can u guys believe that I wrote like 10k of ven in the last two days alone

#im getting BACK BABEYYYYY #like honestly i feel the spark returning #ive been writing nonstop #so its not the next chapter (im sorry) but im currently working on the s2 chapters rn #im almost through with the first three eps of s2 #meaning when we arrive at that point the updates are going to be very regular :D #im going to try finish s2 now #gimme about two weeks if the current pace keeps up #then i will continue where we left <3 #it just feels very good to have a frame while writing which i dont reallg have with the current storyline rn #and im using that to get back into the flow hehe #basically rea is back on her writing game and hopefully there will be some more regular ven in a few months :D #rea rambles

[pikslasrce]

you guys have nooooo idea how crazy this moving period has been november was CRAZYYYYY literally all three of us are going insane from all the shit going on ever since we found the new place

#basically we were supposed to move in last week but then the landlord was like. hey i need to do some reno first you can move in next week #anyways in those two weeks (the one when we were supposed to move in + up to now) so much has happened with the current ONE AND THE NEW ONE #the toilet broke down and flooded the bathroom so we had to get that fixed #then the OVEN SHORT CIRCUITED BC THERES STH WRONG W THE ELECTRIC SOCKET and we decided not to deal w that #so for the past week weve been using my induction stove i brought w me when i moved out of the dorm #on top of that the landlord of the new apartment is dead set on installing a window in the bathroom BUT the guy whos supposed to do that #keeps postponing it bc shit keeps popping up thus preventing him to do his thing #ALSO since furnishing the new place + the rent for the 1st few months ride on grandma selling her house in the countryside #murphys law applied to THAT too. for her to finalize the sale she needs moms signature and all so she went back to our hometown to do it #and there she found out that they wrote her information wrong in the registry which means that now they have to deal with THA #and before the weekend nonetheless... but the lawyer sorting that mess out is apparently technologically illiterate #AND OUGH. everything is soooooooo stressfullllllllllllllll #anyways .. vent over <3 #piksla.txt

[haliasjane]

.

#new entry in the joys of homeownership #on monday a semi truck tried to drive down the street in front of my house and in the process #managed to rip out the power lines connecting my house and my neighbors house to the utility poles #so we were completely without power for about 36 hours #while we each had to hire an electrician to come out and repair the damage #and then get a code inspector to come verify everything was done properly #before the electric company would reconnect us #so that's another 1k that i owe my mom #i realize i am very lucky she was able to help me out #but i still owe her money from back when fairfax had to go to the emergency vet in february #at least next month we get 3 paychecks instead of the normal 2

[dearmrsawyer]

HAPPY VERY LATE BIRTHDAY, JAMILA!! I’m so sorry this is so late but I hope it was absolutely wonderful and that you are well! You are such a lovely friend and human and I couldn’t be happier to have you as a friend. Love!!! 💗💗🥳🥳

Christina!!!!! Late shmate, hand to god i literally haven't known what day it is for months, looked at the date 4 times on my birthday before i realised it was my birthday. agh i'm so glad we're friends and i love you sooo much

#my mum actually had her heart procedure on my bday so i spent it stepping in as head carer and feeding/taking nonna to the toilet #i knew from the second the hospital told my mum in december it'd prob be 2 months that it would get scheduled on my bday #i knew 😂 #but honestly it was such a relief to have it finally happen that it was something of a present! #we had a small games night the next night as a little celebration instead :) #i won my fav game snakes and ladders clean - needed a 3 to reach the end and not bounce back and rolled it first go LOL #then gave the certified worst performance playing pictionary humanity has ever seen #i don't have any skills just give me a game of chance and let me see if i can dodge these snakes on my way across the board rofl #gloryhalleloujah #asks

[pqnnier]

I love feeling like a burden for needing medication 🥰

#andie original #literally have reminded my sister all week that i need my prescription refill #today was the first day in months that i haven’t taken my medicine #when i snapped (which wasn’t even serious i just raised my voice) #she gets mad at me :/ #like i understand if i just sprung it on you that i was out but i’ve literally reminded you verbally and through text messages ALL WEEK tha #i need my prescription refilled #especially since we just finished putting my dresser together last night i feel like my family only likes me when i don’t need anything #it isn’t fair #and i literally heard her throw the prescription when she got back with it #thank GOD my next two appointments are virtual #wouldn’t want to burden anybody further… #she texted me that it’s outside my door like bestie i know i heard you throw it #but i’m channeling all my frustration into my journal and these tags lol

[thedreadvampy]

oh boy the depression hole is deep and it is muddy

hahaha I fell into the classic trap! overidentify with your job and considering leaving it will trigger an existential crisis!!!!

#red said #i think it's really fucking happening #i got lunch with my work bff yesterday. she's seriously looking for her next thing. #2 other people in our 9 man team have told me in confidence they're looking elsewhere as well #the work bff is a team manager and she's like yeah I'm helping everyone buff up their CVs and think about what they want #and i. do not think my boss is coming back. #she's extended her mat leave by 2 months already. i think she stepped away and realised. rightly. there's more to life than this shit. #it's not that the organisation is downsizing or any of us are in danger of redundancy #but the vibe has changed big time. it's so much more corporate and less interested in lived experience. #i think the proportion of people in senior management who have even second hand experience with homelessness is shrinking #like the last time our CEO did frontline work was like 1990. and they're expanding the management team constantly #but they're all outside hires and not people who've done frontline or community work. they're the career charity worker types. #the only things keeping me are. i want to at least get to that initial union open meeting and get the ball rolling enough #that it might have a cat's chance in hell of happening without me #and i want to get gears turning in the EDI group to get a commitment a) to acknowledge that we have a whiteness problem #and b) i want to use the funding for LGBTQ inclusion work to kickstart a project where we convene a cross-sector working group #maybe quarterly. where people working in homelessness and social support can discuss best practise for trans inclusivity #in one of the sectors where trans people are most disadvantaged in seeking support #but like if i can get movement on those things I'm fucking gone. cause the bits of my job that are my actual job? #i am getting nothing out of it now

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#me @ my youngest sister at 6.30 this morning: yooooooo can u draw me a fishy so i can get it tattooed on me? #i drew her some flowers so i want a paralell tattoo with her initials bc she has my initials on her #but i literally have not spoken to her since like may bc i do not talk to my sisters unless we r in the same room. no hate we just dont hav #a lot in common. it makes me a lil sad tho bc im curious abt them. my youngest sister is at least nice to me 😭 #ive been thinking abt asking her for ages and last night i was asked abt my sisters so i was like. the time is now #while im still a bit elevated #which has been to my advantage bc i was able to stay v chatty and energetic while talking to ppl. and i think i made some friends #we bonded over fic reading. so theyre a bit. ya kno. girls gays and theys of science #we make the world go round. but its so interesting to hear them talk abt coming to school here bc they both liked where they were and r #leaving their support systems. and im like bruh if i didn't leave the southwest i was gonna die. im so happy to b here #support system? whats that. i talk to my parents once a month and that's it lol. but im gonna try to establish one here #and try to actually make actual friends. this school is way better abt making grad students interact #my last school was not at all like that. but anyway i had fun #and i mean im only at the start of the semester. and im in a good mood. and i kno things will get stressful #but im just really happy i got accepted here #and the longer im here the more clearly i can see how much i was suffering #the funny thing is tho that i wrote this last night and only hours later i was squirming in frustration bc the fact that im back in therapy #means i feel a greater obligation to not b actively self destructive. evil coping mechanisms my beloved #this is y my mum wanted me back in therapy bc im a goodie 2 shoes and when my counselor is like: did u do X the next time i see her. ill b #honest and itll b annoying >:-[ ugh #its just hard for me to b around ppl a lot bc i get stuck in mental loops bc ocd. which is exhausting. and i want it to stop #and i want to do bad things to make it stop but i wont bc im trying to b better #its just funny to me that ill go from everythings awful to everythings great i shoukd talk to my sisters and make friends and do this and #this and this. to oh god i cant do this anymore in such short time frames with certainty that how im feeling is how ive always felt #ive also noticed that my peaks of high energy do come before stressful events. which does make me worry for future stressful events. like #defending. i mean ive never gone fully off the tracks but its a lil alarming when it feels like the train is going at a million miles an hr #unrelated #meanwhile my other sister is apparently in Colorado but when i saw the pics is was like: YOU BITCH #R U CLOSE TO ME RN??? but no. Colorado is far away

[wavernot4love]

oh fob playing my #1 dream 8 ball at the show i was very nearly at/have been trying relentlessly (unsuccessfully) to make happen. oh that is absolutely evil

#music or the misery please god be the next ginasfs #or get busy living i'm not picky #point is please in the name of all things holy let her not be a one off thing #she deserves 2 see the light of day more often #but five more months and we are so back babey #am so very serious when i say this news has me absolutely spiraling #for now i will eagerly await 3ourdust northeast leg #also that canada fest that got announced/i was rambling about yesterday #surprisingly tix aren't that bad #literally $10 (usd) more than my floor ticket for 2ourdust #and i have five months to sort out how i am getting there #(most likely a rental car since five months is enough time for me 2 afford one this time methinks) #anyways wavernot4love goes to pittsburgh (this time) may have crashed and burned as a notion #but five more months and we are so very back indeed babey #music or the misery to enter the canadian festival circuit you heard it here first everyone #2ourdust #so much for 2our dust

[themagicalmysticalboy]

.

#vent post #my and my gfs friend passed away monday no more than an hour after we had dinner together #there was a really bad car accident and she died on impact. my gfs sisters boyfriend was also in the car and is intensive care #everyone who was here for the cookout (close friends and family) #have barely left my gfs sisters house #we have so many bills coming up and we’re both out a weeks pay plus we’ve been paying for food and gas to get people to and from the #hospital #and we’re almost three hours from home so i’ve had to take a trip down and come right back up just to grab us clothes and feed my cat #me and my girlfriend are the only couple that made it out of monday with each other and it just makes me feel.. idk how to even say #i’ve been cleaning and doing dishes and trying to help everyone. it makes me feel a bit better to do something and take some weight off the #girlfriend of the girl who passed and my gfs sister #we had just made so many plans with her friend #we were gonna go to pride together and go kayaking next month #it barely feels real that she’s gone and that the other passenger is in a coma #everyone’s stressed and i’m barely making sense #i’ve been sleeping on an oversized beanbag all week and just feeling grateful that i have my gf in my arms when i drift off for a few hours

[pekabloooopmilgram]

im back baby

also look at this wonderful screenshot i found

#milgram #kotoko yuzuriha #do i still need to tag pekabloooop edits dum shit? #i dont think so cus thats kinda the side blog #anyways hello #im back #i know unfortunate #sorry ive been gone so long #i got locked out of my old account and have been trying to get back in for a while but couldn't figure it out #so now we are here #and i can finally ruin the last trial 2 mv #lets go #i will be doing this more now #but ill still be inconsistent as ever #also considering now i dont have new material every 2 months #and i only got here early trail 2 so who knows how long it will be #but ill make due #next up are the birthday photos #yes you should be scared #have fun trying to find her mouth on the first ine cus wow its hard to see and im not redoing it #also im using this sideblog now so yea #hava a good day