#was saying last night how that last part reminded me the proposal scene from Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha 🤣😭

[perhaps-in-anotherdream]

[CN] Li Zeyan’s Mundane Date (Eng Translation)

“I bet that you will still remember this day, this moment, even decades from now. Just like I will.”

⌚Warning⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for a date, 琐碎约会, that is yet to be released on the global server! ♡

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【Subbed Video】

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【Chapter 1】 

Big Screen: “In order to welcome this festival dedicated to love, our channel is presenting a special program named 《The Vow at Fingertip》.”

Big Screen: “We’ve collected a plethora of stories about the ring, exploring its deeper meaning beyond the ceremonial contexts…”

It’s early morning on Valentine’s Day, and the streets are already bustling with noise and excitement. Li Zeyan and I stand quietly at the entrance of the supermarket, watching the program previews displayed on the shopping mall’s large screen.

LZY: [laughs like a proud s/o ✊] Well, this is quite impressive. The prime spot throughout the whole day is going to be occupied by your show.

MC: Granted, it’s thanks to the sponsorship from the brand, but I’m really satisfied with this show.

LZY: In that case, let’s get through the checklist quickly and head back early to enjoy your masterpiece.

Finishing his words, he then takes my hand and leads me into the supermarket.

Given Li Zeyan’s personality, he had actually prepared the ingredients at Souvenir well in advance. But due to a phone call this morning, we had no choice but to make last-minute changes in our plans…

–

───── [FLASHBACK STARTS] ─────

Mr. Mills: Manager, sorry to trouble you so early in the morning.

Mr. Mills: While I was out for a walk just now, I saw a notice posted on the door of Souvenir stating that there’s a circuit malfunction in this area and the power has been out for the whole night.

Mr. Mills: I checked the refrigerator, and it seems those ingredients of yours may have gone bad.

LZY: [his voice really tends to drop to a different softness when he talks to Mr. Mills 🥺]  Thank you for taking the trouble. I’ll take care of it later.

Mr. Mills: But you prepared these for MC, right? Would you still be able to work out your plans for today?

Li Zeyan glances at me, who’s peering over from beside him, and a small smile tugs at the corners of his lips.

LZY: [while looking at you]  You don’t have to worry. I have a compensation plan in mind.

Watching as Li Zeyan ends the call, his expression composed, I hurriedly lean in and ask him about the situation.

MC: Did something happen at Souvenir? Should we go to the restaurant first and check it out?

LZY: It’s alright, let’s celebrate the festival first.

LZY: The menu won’t change, but we need to grab a few things to make up. I’ll make a quick trip to the supermarket later.

MC: I’ll come along with you!

–

───── [FLASHBACK ENDS] ─────

As each item from the list is placed into the shopping cart, I steal glances at Li Zeyan and study his completely unruffled expression, inwardly sighing to myself.

His plan fell through, and it even resulted in some damage. Yet, he hasn’t uttered a single word of complaint, appearing to have a well-thought-out plan in advance as always.

MC: [muttering] He certainly deserves the title of being the number one in emotional stability.

Li Zeyan seems to have heard my mumbling, prompting him to turn around and meet my gaze.

LZY: What’s the matter? Why are you zoning out?

MC: I was thinking, you are really good at switching your mood. If I were in your shoes and found out [MC’s Company Name] had run into some problem, I’d spend half a day just feeling upset.

LZY: Not like it’s something that can’t be remedied. What’s there to feel upset about?

LZY: It’s a nice holiday, and I don’t wish to see a certain dummy shooting her mouth off to the sky.

He gently lays his hand on top of mine and, together with the shopping cart, leads me forward.

LZY: If you zone out again, we won’t go to the snack section.

MC: I absolutely won’t! Let’s go, let’s go~

—

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—

【Chapter 2】 

The warm music of the show flows through the room, but it’s soon drowned out by the clinking and clattering sounds from the kitchen.

MC: Is there anything else you need me to do, Boss?

LZY: Help me with the sauce.

In order to increase efficiency, I volunteer to help Li Zeyan and find myself busy following his instructions, frantically running around in circles.

LZY: Pass me the thermometer.

LZY: Set the stopwatch to one minute for me.

MC: Roger!

Ding––

The oven’s timer sounds, and I consciously put on the heat-resistant gloves and pull out the baking tray.

MC: Isn’t it time to turn the sweet potato tart?

LZY: Right. If it’s tricky to turn, try lifting a corner first to test it out.

MC: Uh… it does seem a bit tricky to flip.

With gentleness and cautiousness, I proceed to operate, afraid of ruining the shape Li Zeyan has crafted so meticulously.

As I reach the last three, a reminder sounds from behind me.

LZY: Turn them faster; don’t let the oven temperature drop too much.

LZY: Don’t worry so much about the shape. For a dummy, it’s tasting delicious is what matters more.

His voice, carrying with it a smile, alleviates my nervousness a little. I turn them over and slide the baking tray back into the oven.

With the oven resuming its operation, I breathe a sigh of relief and walk back to Li Zeyan’s side, taking a sip of water.

LZY: [laughs softly]  Tired?

MC: How could I be tired? I can handle this amount of work just fine.

MC: It actually feels like that cooking game we played before. Though, I wish we could have three heads and six arms… [1]

MC: Speaking of which, do things get this chaotic when you cook by yourself?

Li Zeyan puts the lid on the pot and turns down the heat, then rubs my head with his free hand.

LZY: It doesn’t seem as chaotic when I’m on my own without anyone “helping out.”

LZY: But my sous chef here has made quite a lot of progress; at least nothing got messed up.

MC: That’s because my boyfriend doesn’t only cook incredibly well, but he is also a generous mentor!

LZY: [chuckles teasingly] I was here simply trying to better the food I cook for a certain dummy. I did not realize she was secretly taking notes.

LZY: Since you’ve been learning well, tell me, what do we need to add when we take the lid off?

I freeze for a moment, not expecting that he’d really ask questions. Resorting to thinking on my feet, I quickly pounce on him and lock my arms around his neck.

MC: Well, naturally… adding a little extra love would make it even better!

I plant a kiss on his cheek, then swiftly dash away before he can react, turning up the volume of the show.

LZY: [laughs helplessly]  Running away when you can’t answer, huh?

MC: [giggling gleefully]  What did you say? The music is too loud, I can’t hear you clearly~

Shamelessly feigning ignorance, I stand in front of the TV, grinning while casually casting a glance at the progress of the show.

At this moment, the interview with a young couple begins. The girl raises her left hand towards the camera, showing off her wedding ring.

Girl (on the show): On the day my husband proposed, he hid the ring in a dessert, saying that the dessert that day was infused with a unique formula of love.

Girl (on the show): As a result, when I took a bite, I chomped directly into this “formula of love” and ended up breaking my tooth…

Girl (on the show): We had to rush to the emergency room in the middle of the night. The pain was so excruciating that I almost refused the marriage proposal right then and there.

MC: Pfft…

I can’t hold back my laughter and glance over at Li Zeyan, who’s just a short distance away.

MC: Did you hear that, restaurant manager? You should take this as a cautionary tale.

LZY: [chuckles helplessly]  It’s clearly the gluttonous dummy who should take this as a cautionary tale.

Just as I’m about to retaliate, the doorbell suddenly rings. I pull a face at Li Zeyan and hurry off to answer the door.

Delivery Guy: Excuse me, is this Mr. Li’s residence? I’ve got a Flash Delivery package for him.

I accept the rather sizable cardboard box, then curiously glance towards the kitchen.

MC: What did you order?

LZY: Why don’t you open it and find out?

I carefully open the box and find an unexpected item inside––

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[Tidbits]:

[1] It’s a reference to Li Zeyan’s “Home Visit Date!” 

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

【Chapter 3】

MC: “Chocolate fountain machine for home use”?

As I look at the name on the instruction manual, I read it out loud in surprise.

The supermarket’s holiday chocolates are already vying for attention with their romantic beauty, but I didn’t expect Li Zeyan to have an even more surprising design up his sleeves.

MC: Wow… isn’t this something you’d usually find only at hotels or fancy gatherings?

LZY: Mm-hmm. Given the unusual circumstances today, I’d have to slack off for now.

MC: “Slack off”?

Li Zeyan meets my puzzled gaze and places the machine on the table, then proceeds to gesticulate the patterns of the fountain.

LZY: Since it’s liquid, it simplifies the project by skipping several steps and can’t be stored. Once prepared, it’s only enough for a single serving.

LZY: If a certain someone has any objections, I’ll make a better one for you another day.

MC: Not only do I have no objections, but I also want to “redress injustices” on behalf of the chocolate fountain.

I wedge myself between him and the bar counter, pretending to be angry as I place my hands on my hips.

MC: How could you ever consider something as amusing and creative as this chocolate fountain as “slacking off”?!

MC: Moreover, regardless of how simple the procedure may be, Restaurant Manager Li’s creations are always one-of-a-kind.

Li Zeyan gives me a look and curls his lips into a smile.

LZY: Seems like this choice has turned out to be exactly something a certain someone would’ve liked. Since you’re so interested, why don’t you join me in making it later?

–

The “home version” of the Valentine’s Day feast still lives up to Li Zeyan’s high standards. After having our fill of eating and drinking, we finally bring the chocolate fountain to the table.

I skewer a strawberry, coat it with chocolate sauce, and take a bite. The rich aroma of chocolate blends harmoniously with the strawberry’s fresh sweetness, causing me to squint my eyes as if  I were in paradise.

MC: So, so yummy!

LZY: Easy there; be careful not to let the chocolate sauce drip onto you.

Li Zeyan fetches a sheet of paper and places it on my lap, then takes a toothpick to help me skewer the strawberries.

A warmth blooms in my heart. I lean in and hug his arm.

MC: Every dish today has been a hit, plus there’s also a certain handsome guy winning over with his attentive service. I think I ought to give it at least a four-star Michelin rating.

LZY: Is that extra star a reward for yourself?

MC: Hehe, didn’t you just say earlier that your little sous chef did a good job today?

LZY: Indeed, and the dining experience was neater than usual, too.

MC: Those who are capable do the most work, and those who work most deserve extra serving at the table! [2]

Li Zeyan smiles as he listens to my nonsense and pushes a plate of chocolate-coated strawberries in front of me.

LZY: [the indulgence hhh]  Alright, “capable one,” today you’re allowed to have a little extra.

MC: Why are you giving them all to me? Aren’t you going to have a taste?

LZY: There’s a certain dummy who’s been looking forward to this for so long, so let’s let her have her fill first.

As I take another bite of a strawberry, I keep pondering which words to persuade him to taste it. When I look up, I find that Li Zeyan has had his eyes fixed on me the whole time.

MC: What’s wrong?

LZY: It’s nothing.

LZY: I was just thinking, with the sudden change of plans today, are you genuinely okay with it?

MC: It wasn’t something within our control. Besides, just the location got changed, that’s all.

LZY: But it did eat into our time, and we missed the beginning of your show.

MC: I didn’t realize CEO Li was looking forward to my show this much, huh?

LZY: [laughs helplessly]  I wonder who kept promoting it non-stop next to my ear every day.

Grinning, I lean sideways onto his shoulder and reach out to poke his cheek.

MC: You somehow pulled off such a complicated feast to make up for it. What could I have to be dissatisfied with?

MC: Besides, the most important thing today is to be glued to the person you like; it doesn’t matter even if the time hasn’t been used efficiently.

Picking up the dessert tray, I skewer a strawberry and feed it to him.

MC: In order to make you truly understand how I feel, I warmly invite you to taste the flavor of bliss for yourself. [3]

LZY: Dummy, you’ve already mentioned the “taste of bliss” at least five times today.

LZY: Why do I get the feeling that you always seem to find “bliss” in everything you eat?

MC: That conclusion seems to be a bit of a sweeping generalization.

MC: There may be an abundance of delicious food in the world, but there are only two kinds that can truly bring me a sense of bliss.

MC: Home-cooked meals made by family members and the food you prepare with love.

Li Zeyan takes the plate and gently holds my now-empty hand.

LZY: Was your father very skilled in the kitchen?

MC: He…

MC: He was too busy with work, so there weren’t many opportunities for him to showcase his skills… but the flavors in my memory are very warm; it was the taste of home.

LZY: No wonder a certain someone has a good palette; apparently, she was nurtured well since childhood.

MC: Hehe, but I believe happiness doesn’t just stem from the flavors; the particulars are crucial, too.

LZY: What do you mean?

MC: For example, when Dad came home late from work and would accidentally add too much salt to the quick dishes he prepared, we’d end up laughing it off together during the meal.

MC: For instance, when a certain someone’s own plans went awry, he still prioritized taking care of my feelings.

MC: Like when that certain person could have simply settled for making regular chocolate, but instead, he went out of his way to design a chocolate fountain.

MC: I’m not someone who eats anything at any place without preference. Restaurant Manager Li, please don’t get the wrong idea.

I wink at Li Zeyan. He stares at me for a while, then suddenly breaks the silence.

LZY: Do you know why Souvenir always gives you special privileges?

MC: Why?

LZY: Because while a certain person isn’t very skilled in cooking, she sure is an excellent eater, and she equally excels at “paying the debt for the free meals with her words.” [4]

MC: Nonsense! That’s called showing gratitude, alright!

Unwilling to back down, I stuff another strawberry into his mouth, blocking any potential retort.

MC: Some people’s sweet words don’t last more than three seconds. As punishment, I’ll make you eat more chocolate to make amends.

LZY: [laughs helplessly]  …Dummy.

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[Tidbits]:

[2] The original sentence said by MC here was “能者多劳, 劳者多吃!” The first part of it is actually an idiom: lit. meaning, “it’s the most capable people who do the most work.”  The idiom is intended as consolation for the overworked, or flattery when making a request etc. The second part is a word-play on the idiom, so I tweaked the translation to fit the play here!

[3] The term MC uses here is “幸福,” and I had to sit on this one for a while to use a term that is not too wordy but still carries a closer meaning to the CN term. While it essentially does refer to “happiness,” the term carries a deeper connotation than 开心 (happy) / 快乐 (joyful), which refer to short bursts of bright emotions. Whereas “幸福” refers to lasting, fulfilling happiness and holistic contentment~

[4] The term Li Zeyan uses here is “吃人嘴短,” which he’s cleverly re-generated from the proverb “吃人嘴软, 拿人手短” to get his message across efficiently. I’m just too tired to explain the inside joke here LOL, so I opted for a wordy translation to try to get the message across nonetheless.

—

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【Chapter 4】

Host: Auntie, how do you usually store your ring?

Granny: Store it? I’ve never taken it off. I keep it on even when I’m working.

Granny: In our generation, we didn’t fuss over all those things. Besides, life inevitably keeps throwing urgent matters at you, so there’s little to no time to ponder over such matters.

While listening to the conversation on TV, I hand the last plate on the table to Li Zeyan.

After a quick rinse, he loads the plates into the dishwasher. Just as he straightens up, I hug him from behind.

MC: We just finished eating; why not rest for a while?

LZY: [chuckles indulgently] What? Are you saying eating can tire you out, dummy?

MC: …don’t you feel a bit sluggish after eating too much?

LZY: [that indulgent tone intensifies x10]  No wonder I feel like I’m carrying extra weight on my back.

Hearing the obvious laughter in his voice, I let out a couple of “hmphs” and continue to lean against his back without a care in the world.

LZY: A certain someone here has eaten her plate clean so thoroughly, lightening the load quite a lot, so this shouldn’t take too much time.

MC: That’s an essential skill for a Souvenir diner! But every time I see you being so diligent, I feel a tad embarrassed.

MC: It’s one thing not to procrastinate at work, but how can you not be lazy in your everyday life as well?

LZY: Wouldn’t it be more of a hassle if everything piled up at once?

LZY: Taking care of things immediately when they happen also helps avoid any unexpected complications.

Thinking back to how he methodically rearranged everything this morning, I can’t help but sigh with a twinge of envy.

MC: I’m so lucky to have you around; it’s what could make today so delightful.

LZY: Even after having to do so much work, you still consider it delightful?

MC: Yep! Cooking with you is like playing a game, but without the need to worry about failing any levels!

LZY: Dummy has a knack for turning any place into an amusement park.

MC: Then you’re the amusement park manager!

Li Zeyan finishes washing his hands, turns around, and boops the tip of my nose.

LZY: [in the softest of tones]  It seems that with you around, I’ll never have to worry about being unemployed.

LZY: Let’s go. Let’s focus on watching your show.

—

Li Zeyan pulls me to nestle into the couch. The show has now reached the interview segment, and the host is asking the elderly woman about the happiest moment of her life in the decades that have gone by.

Granny: If I had to choose one, it would be one night before going to sleep, when my husband touched the ring on my hand and said, “It’s all scratched up.”

Granny: When we calculated, we realized we’ve been wearing our rings for several decades.

Host: Those rings must be bearing many traces of life, wouldn’t you say?

Granny: Yes, that’s right. At first, I wanted to reprimand him, to show him how much work I’ve done. But then I touched his ring, and it was just the same.

Granny: At that moment, I suddenly felt, this person next to me has been by my side for a very long time.

I snuggle into Li Zeyan’s embrace, intertwining my fingers with his and stroking them.

MC: If it were the two of us, your ring would definitely be the one to wear out first.

LZY: Not necessarily; we also have to take into account a certain someone stirring up trouble and acting silly.

MC: Perhaps in a few decades, I’ll have grown smarter already!

LZY: Then let’s make a bet. We’ll see if you still remember this statement in a few decades.

MC: Alright, you’re on. But we’re both in this, so it wouldn’t be fair to put only me to the test.

LZY: Go on, what plan are you hatching now?

I roll my eyes and wriggle out of his arms.

MC: You watch the show; I’ll be back in a jiffy.

I trot over to the pantry and open one of the low cabinets. Owing to the Valentine’s Day themed program, I have received quite a few chocolates from our collaborators.

I take out the heart-shaped box placed at the top and return to Li Zeyan’s side.

–

MC: Li Zeyan, I have a small gift for you.

LZY: What, haven’t had enough chocolate yet?

Li Zeyan glances at the box in my hand, then raises an eyebrow at me. I smile but don’t say anything, opening the box and putting it into his hand.

MC: Hold on~ Let me do a magic trick for you first.

MC: Close your eyes, and then just pick any chocolate from inside.

LZY: [gentle, helpless chuckle]  What kind of stunt are you pulling this time?

Despite saying this, Li Zeyan still closes his eyes and follows suit. I take the chocolate he hands me and gently tear open the wrapper.

The golden foil paper is extremely delicate and prone to tearing if handled with even the slightest bit of carelessness. But by now, I’ve already become skilled enough to roll it up smoothly.

During the filming of this show, chocolate almost became our only snack. Every time I was on the phone with Li Zeyan, I would chat with him while casually rolling the candy wrappers.

I didn’t expect the “practice makes perfect” proverb to come to fruition like this, but inadvertently, I managed to craft this paper “ring.”

MC: Done! Now, extend your hand again.

He doesn’t seem to quite understand what my intention is, so he reaches into the box for another chocolate and hands it to me.

Seeing him so cooperative, I can’t help but laugh out loud, giving his fingertips a squeeze as I hold up the “ring” I have just created.

MC: You can open your eyes now!

–

LZY: …?

Li Zeyan looks at the small ring in my hand and blinks slowly.

LZY: [YOU CAN LITERALLY HEAR IN HIS TONE THAT HE’S CAUGHT OFF GUARD 🥹]   This is…?

MC: As you can see, an exclusively customized ring from 24-karat pure gold!

MC: Handcrafted from start to finish, Mr. Li Zeyan is the only one in the world who has the opportunity to own it.

Li Zeyan is momentarily taken aback, then glances at the torn-open chocolates on the table, before suddenly breaking into a smile.

LZY: Even such a brief moment as this is ample for your creativity to soar.

MC: I’ve been planning this for a long time. You can’t just whip up such a rare ring on the spot.

MC: Since you’ve made that bet with me, I must also reciprocate.

I straighten up and slowly slide the small ring onto his ring finger.

Li Zeyan’s gaze also remains fixated on my fingertips until the ring moves past his second joint, then he lifts his eyes to stare at me again.

Under the sunlight, those deep, enigmatic eyes of his shine even brighter, an expectation as clear as crystals surging within them.

I gaze fixedly at him, his cheeks now tinged with a gentle blush, and find myself unable to suppress the smile that steals across my lips.

MC: I bet that you will still remember this day, this moment, even decades from now.

MC: Just like I will.

After a few seconds of silence, Li Zeyan tosses the chocolate in his hand aside and tightly clasps my hand with his broad palm.

Seeing that he still hasn’t said anything, I press on and ask once more.

MC: How about it? Do you want to make this bet with me?

LZY: Sure, but…

Even before the words have fully left his mouth, a sudden force on my wrist yanks me towards him. I can’t help but cry out in surprise, only to find myself falling into his arms.

A warm breath immediately envelopes me as he locks me firmly in his arms, and I find myself slowly consumed by an intense yearning.

LZY: [nearly breathless] If you want me to remember, you’ll have to up the ante.

Without waiting for me to respond, he continues kissing me, effortlessly subduing any possible protest I could have.

Even after all this time, he still kisses me with the same uninhibited passion as he did the first time. The distant time and unspoken words all melt away in the gentle caress. [5]

The sound from the television gradually fades away, and the stories of others drift beyond my consciousness.

Even without this bet, I would find it impossible to forget this moment.

After who knows how long has passed, Li Zeyan gently releases me, lowering his head to rest his forehead against mine.

I look into his eyes, so close and within reach, and feel a surge of emotion in my heart.

MC: Li Zeyan.

LZY: Hm?

MC: Will you–– [6]

Before I can say anything further, he promptly raises his hand to cover my mouth.

LZY: [HIS PANICKED TONE HHHH]  Wait.

LZY: I’ve accepted the world’s most creative ring, but please don’t say anything more.

LZY: This is something that I should be the one to take care of.

I pause for a moment, then quickly understand what he meant, unable to suppress a laugh as I hold onto his hand.

LZY: Why are you laughing?

MC: Hahaha, although I really don’t want to spoil the atmosphere, but actually, I wanted to ask––

MC: Li Zeyan, will you wear this ring to work?~ ^^

───────────────

[Tidbits]

[5] Unnecessary, really, but still a refresher– it’s the callback to his first kiss aka “Dazzling Date.”

[6] Although obvious from Li Zeyan’s reaction, I still wanna clarify– he cut MC off when she had only gotten to “你愿不愿意—” (will you/ would you be willing to)-- and the rest of that sentence typically is “(will you) marry me” (你愿不愿意嫁给我吗), which is why LZY doesn’t even take any chances and goes, “nope not happening, I wanna do it” 😂❤️

───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────

【Personal Ramblings】

Remainder of One’s Life Date: here!

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#was saying last night how that last part reminded me the proposal scene from Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha 🤣😭 #GOSH WHERE DO I FIND WHAT LI ZEYAN AND HIS HEROINE HAVE #I LOVE THIS STUPID SILLY MAN SO FREAKIN' MUCH YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND 😭😭 #also i did write a mini essay. so not gonna burden the tags anymore lol #mlqc victor #mlqc li zeyan #mlqc #mr love victor #mr love queen's choice #恋与制作人 #李泽言 #love and producer #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc translations

[poguesrforlife]

Young and Beautiful | Rudy Pankow - Part 3

Okay first of all I’m sorry it took me so long but here is part three finally. Honestly I don’t know how to feel about this because at first I wanted it to be a filler chapter and then I thought I couldn't let you hang like this so I just poured it all out. I still have some more ideas about where this might go but you guys tell me if this feels already finished to you. AND AS ALWAYS THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! for all the love and support you give, I see you all and couldn't be more thankful xxx

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Trigger warning: alcohol, swearing, nothing too smutty, a little angst and a lot of jealousy

Word count: 3,741 word (god this is so long I’m sorry)

Y/N just got the role of her lifetime, starring beside the cast of Outer Banks in the second season as JJ’s love interest. It’s a dream come true and gets even dreamier when she meets Rudy Pankow her alleged love interest. Lines start to blur between reality and film and Y/N is left wondering if taking a leap of faith is worth risking her career.

[GIF not mine credits to owner]

Days passed and filming never stopped, neither did the thought of Rudy in your mind. It was constant, the sun rose and so did your thoughts of him, the night came and so did he in your dreams. By now you were convinced that this feeling would not go away anytime soon.

Maybe some distraction would do you good. 

“How about we go out tonight?” You proposed to the girls as you were lounging in your living room, painting toe-nails, scrolling through instagram and what-not. 

“Like out out?” Madelyne’s face lit up as she looked up from her bright yellow nail polish and passed the same expression to Madison. You nodded with a smile.

“I’d be down,” Madison agreed and sprang up from the couch in a matter of seconds.

“Oh, this is exciting! Let me call the boys,” Madelyne exclaimed and got up, waddling weirdly with her still wet toe nails to her phone on the kitchen bar.

Your face fell for a second. That was not exactly what you had in mind. You wanted a distraction from Rudy and him dancing in a sweaty club with beautiful women wouldn’t really help your current state of emotions. But you couldn’t let the girls know that. After shooting the other day they wouldn’t shut up about how one could feel the sexual tension between the two of you and you were just happy they hadn’t seen the sex scene.

“You good?” Bailey inquired as she noticed your sour face. You were quick to plaster a fake smile on your lips.

“Yeah, I’m just tired of sitting around all the time. This will do us some good!” You headed towards the bathroom to get a shower before going out and also to have a moment to yourself to prepare for tonight.

“The boys are down as well!” You heard Maddie scream from the kitchen and then she passed by you as fast as she could to look through her wardrobe. 

“Somebody is excited,” Bailey muttered beside you but joined her friend with a grin and helped her pick out something to wear. 

A couple hours later you were dressed to kill and ready to go. Even though you loved the Outer Banks clothing style, it reminded you of your hometown, it was nice to doll-up every now and then. Madison was taking pictures of you three in the big mirror besides the entry when you heard a knock on the door.

Madelyn was quick to open it and you were met with five handsome men staring back at you.

Chase escaped a whistle when he took all three of you in but you noticed how his eyes stayed on Madelyn just a bit too long. You made sure to remember asking him about it later. 

“Well, hot damn,” Rudy exclaimed as he entered the apartment and his eyes landed on the short dresses you were wearing.

“Eyes up here,” Madison warned him with a smile and pointed to her own brown ones.

“Not fair,” Austin gasped, clearly thinking you were playing with their feelings. Maybe you were. When Bailey had proposed to impress some folks tonight you at least had a special someone in mind. Who was to say the others didn’t have too?

Your eyes wandered over the boys outfits, all dressed up and looking incredibly handsome. Rudy sported a cream sweater and a cute little beige hat. You didn’t know why he would wear a hat to go clubbing but you knew he loved them. 

“Are you ready to head out then?” Drew smiled at you in his bright yellow shirt and motioned towards the door.

You piled out the door and headed downstairs to get an uber to your favourite club.

“I’m not sure if I like you in heels, Y/N. You’re almost as tall as me,” Chase pointed out as he walked behind you and took in your much taller figure.

“You’ll just have to deal with it, I guess,” You laughed and did an immaculate pirouette on your heels, something you had practiced a thousand times in your room back home.

“Would you look at her,” Madison squealed with joy as she watched your boost of confidence and joined you by linking your hands together and strutting down the sidewalk like it was a runway. 

It felt good to really feel yourself again after your uncertain emotions. Even though you noticed how a certain male’s eyes kept looking at your and your friend’s long legs, you didn’t care at the moment. You were having fun and you deserved it. 

All of you split up into several cars and then you were on your way to La Push, a vibrating ambient establishment the cast had dug out last year while filming in Charleston. The girls swore that you would have the best night out ever at that particular club.

You were not disappointed as you took in the colourful lights shining on the rustic open brick walls and the retro bar in the corner. The ages of the people were mixed all through but you could clearly see that everybody was enjoying themselves.

“Drinks?” Deion asked and nodded towards an empty table next to the bar and you all headed in the direction through the crowded area of dancing bodies.

“Milady.” Rudy offered you his hand with a posh English accent as you were about to try mastering a step in your heels. 

“Thank you, kind sir,” You smiled at him and put your hand in his and let him help you down. You couldn’t keep yourself from curtsying as he laughed at you playing along. His hand held yours tight in his as he led you to some barstools. 

“Gin Tonic with a lemon slice for the lady?” He ordered with a questioning look in your direction once the bartender got your attention. You couldn’t believe he memorised your go-to drink, as you nodded thankfully. “And a Corona for me please,” He finished and watched the bartender tend to your order.

After he payed for both of your drinks you thanked him, almost having to scream as the music was too loud, and he grabbed your hand back in his to help you down from the stool.

“Sure thing, sugar.” He gave you that unmistakable Rudy smile and once again the butterflies in your stomach began soaring. 

You had to pull yourself together. You were here to distract yourself from him not fall deeper for his charm. Although you had to admit he was not making it easy for you. 

Your other friends had ordered at the table and were ready to clink glasses once you joined them. 

“To a great night,” JD proposed and raised his glass.

“And to great friends,” You joined in and held up your own Gin Tonic.

“Hear, hear,” Austin agreed and the whole group cheered in joyous laughter as you brought your drinks to the middle. You greeted the familiar taste of the alcohol with open arms and enjoyed the light burning you were quite used to by now. 

Once you set your glass back on the table, Bailey raised a brow at your already half empty glass and you simply shrugged your shoulders. You needed to let loose tonight. 

“Dance with me,” You screamed over the music and grabbed her hand and your drink and made your way towards the dance floor.

Madison was the best dancer you knew and she proved it to you once again after some R&B music started playing. Your hips were shaking, your arms wildly flailing around and your feet shuffling over the floor as you downed your glass quickly. You already felt slightly buzzed, maybe you should have eaten more before going out. 

Jonathan joined the two of you quickly, just as good a dancer as your dear curly friend, and together they stole the show. You watched in awe as they moved to the music so carelessly and were a bit jealous at their easy-going nature. 

“C’mon Y/N, show me what you got!” Drew encouraged you suddenly from beside you with an outstretched hand. You slipped closer to him and swayed your hips as he twirled you around in his arms and laughed as he dipped you back. Maybe the distraction would work after all. You didn’t know for how long the both of you danced but you felt absolutely weightless. 

“I’m impressed Starkey,” You admitted as he flew with you over the dance floor, not once missing the beat. 

“Could say the same about you Y/L/N but I had a feeling you would be a good dancer,” He smirked and turned you around so your back was pressed against his chest and let his hands wander to your hips. 

At this point you were on your third drink, a bit too intoxicated, and not quite sure if this scenario would play out well. Drew was the perfect gentleman and absolutely sweet and handsome. You liked him a lot but… But he wasn’t Rudy. His hands on your body didn’t feel like a wildfire and his scent didn’t drive you crazy and his smile did not make your head spin. You cursed yourself for these thoughts. 

You looked up, your eyes roaming the club for a certain blond head of hair. You noticed Chase and Maddy dancing intimately with each other in one corner but chose to ignore it, you had a different mission. 

“I’ll be right back,” You told Drew with an apologetic smile as you turned to look at him and he looked confused for a second. “I’m just going to the bathroom.”

“Be careful in here, it’s better if you don’t go by yourself,” He reminded you, always the protective type, and looked out over the club probably searching for Bailey.

“I’ll be fine,” You reassured him with a pad on the chest and slipped out of his embrace towards the restrooms.

On your way there you finally found your man of the hour. To your amusement Rudy was dancing with an elderly woman to some pop song and looked like he was having the time of his life. You felt the corners of your mouth lifting as you took in the scene. 

You slipped into the restroom to freshen up as your eyes met the mirror. The carefully applied makeup from Madison was smeared under your eyes, your lipstick long gone and your hair was basically a mess. But despite all you looked happy, you looked alive. You quickly touched up your appearance and rejoined the others. 

As soon as you stepped out however you were met with quite the unpleasant sight. There was a beautiful woman next to Rudy, one arm on his biceps as she leaned forwards to say something to him. It shouldn’t bother you, you knew that he was an attractive man with many qualities. But as his hand rested on her waist your throat tightened and you felt embarrassment deep in your bones. Of course he didn’t want you the same way you did. It was just acting and you were friends, it didn’t mean anything. But it had meant something, to you anyways. And that’s what you got for giving into your feelings. You watched them laughing together, inching closer to each other each second and your heart burned in pain. 

You turned around stumbling to your table as you tried to suppress the tears welling in your eyes. How could you have been so stupid? It was a stupid crush nothing more. 

Drew’s eyes lit up as you made your way towards his sitting figure at the table next to some of your friends. You had two choices here: Going home now and giving in to your stupid irrational feelings and ruining your night. Or doing what you were here for and distract yourself with a fucking good time. The answer came to you immediately.

“I don’t know about you guys but I was thinking about some tequila!” You proposed with a big fake smile as you looked at your friends and the others cheered in chorus.

“A round of tequila shots for the table please,” Chase told the waiter and soon enough salt, limes and shot glasses filled to the brim with the transparent liquid were brought to you.

“Cheers bitches!” You clinked glasses, licked up the salt on your hand, downed the shot of the devil’s brew and bit in the sour lime and laughed at the faces the others made after finishing their own shots.

You were having a good time tonight, even if it took killing your mind to do so. Which seemed to be the only option after another round of shots and some more Gin Tonics and you still felt like shit every time your eyes met Rudy’s figure. The girl from before was long gone but you couldn’t help but feel betrayed. How did he not see that you were obviously hooked on him? 

He came back to your table were everybody was laughing and having a good time, everyone except you it seemed.

“Are you alright?” He asked and plopped down beside you, throwing his arm over the couch behind you.

“Just peachy,” You heard the slurring in your voice yourself not as clear as you wanted it to be and cringed a bit. But just because you were drunk that didn’t mean you had a problem. You were fine.

“How much did you have to drink?” He inquired concerned and you saw his forehead wrinkle. Your hand automatically reached out to brush his worry away.

“What’s it to you, sugar?” You deliberately used the nickname he had given you before and you actually saw a smirk on his face as you drew your hand away from his forehead, the sour expression gone.

“I think it’s better if I take you home,” He laughed when you fell back against the couch trying to look mad at him.

“I can take myself home, thank you very much,” You argued, your words still a bit slurred. He could take the fucking girl from before home for all you cared. He hadn’t spoken to you all night and suddenly he wanted to take care of you. That’s not how that shit worked.

“Besides,” You interrupted him as he was about to say something else, “You didn’t dance with me all night. I really wanted to dance with you,” You pouted and cursed yourself a second after you registered what slipped out your mouth. Your eyes widened and you sat back up. Maybe you had an alcohol problem after all.

“Then dance with me, sugar.” Your head whipped around as soon as you heard him. He leaned back against the couch, an easy smirk playing on his lips as he eyed your figure. He never looked sexier to you.

“Let’s go then!” You jumped from the table, a bit too fast and swaying a bit, but you had to prove something to yourself. You could easily be friends with Rudy without any sexual tension. You just had to separate him from your roles in your head.

His arm sneaked around your waist seconds after and he pulled you down towards the dance floor, making sure you didn’t miss any steps like before. The feeling of his hand around you drove you insane so you grabbed it and shove it away with a grin. You were perfectly capable of walking by yourself. He just laughed and shook his head at your swaying figure. You were not sure what exactly was so funny to him in this moment. 

His hands however found yours again quickly as he held them and twirled you around carefully, pushing and pulling you every which way. You absolutely adored him but you needed distance. God, why had you willingly agreed to dance with him? Well, it had been your idea but anyways. 

You were glad when a faster song by Lizzo started and you entangled yourself from him to sway your hips on your own. Not many knew it but you danced a lot better when you were drunk for some reason. You were a lot less uptight and celebrated every body part of yours with free flowing moves. Rudy obviously enjoyed your newfound confidence as he mirrored your carelessness to the beat and cheered for you. The both of you were singing along to the music, jumping up and down and shimmying back and forth, having the time of your life. At one point you stole his head and put it on yourself, convinced that you looked irresistible with it but Rudy just laughed and got it back before throwing to your table where Austin caught it with a grin.

“Have I told you how good you look tonight?” He screamed over the music as he pushed himself closer to your body. His scent invaded your space and you immediately forgot why you had wanted distance from him in the first place.

“Tell me again,” You giggled and got closer to him as well. The songs changed again, something more sultry and slower, maybe the Weeknd or Miguel you weren’t sure as your attention was directed at yet another man.

“You look absolutely radiant,” He breathed and his alcoholic breath mingled with yours that’s how close you were.

Rudy’s hands found your waist again and this time you didn’t push him away. The opposite, you rested your hands on his broad chest, feeling his fast beating heart under your right hand. He pulled you closer as you were obviously giving in to him and swayed his hips against yours, the movement making your head spin.

“Are you drunk?” You asked him. You needed him to be sober so at least one of you would remember this moment tomorrow after everything else faded away. You needed him to remember how your bodies felt pressed together in this moment. How your hearts were beating in synch to the bass rocking through you. 

“Absolutely intoxicated,” He answered with a straight, sexy voice. He didn’t sound drunk to you but his words proved you different. 

“Maybe we should-“ You stopped mid sentence as you pulled back and saw his hungry eyes directed at your lips. Whatever you wanted to say left your senses in that very second.

“…stop?” Rudy finished your sentence questioning but not making any moves to stop any of this, whatever this was. “I don’t ever want to stop. I just wanna spend forever getting high off what it feels like to be around you.”

Your breath caught at his words and your eyes slipped from his lips to his blue eyes, illuminated by the club lights occasionally. You saw the hunger in them, the unmistakable lust that was a hundred percent mirrored in your own y/e/c eyes.

He described perfectly what if felt like to be around him, like you were high, intoxicated by him. And that feeling, you never wanted it to end. 

“I’m drunk…” You told him but let out the ‘on you’ part that definitely was a part of this sentence.

“I know, me too. And I know we shouldn’t do anything that we might regret tomorrow,” He took a deep breath and one of his hands cupped your face. “But I can’t stay away from you any longer.”

“I feel the same,” You admitted and bit your lip to keep a smile from showing on your face. But it didn’t matter as Rudy’s lips moved into a grin.

“If two people can’t stay away from each other, maybe they aren’t supposed to.” You nearly groaned at his annoying habit of always being able to say the perfect thing at the right time. 

You moved closer to him, your arms slung around his neck and your hips still slowly moving to the music. Your eyelids dropped as your mouth longed for his, feeling his breath on your lips.

Unexpectedly soft his mouth landed on yours, so different from the kisses you shared on set. His lips slowly moved with yours, taking his time to get used to the feeling. And even though the heat from the other times lacked it was no less passionate. You poured every fibre of your being into kissing him and really feeling him. He tasted like tequila and forbidden dreams and if you weren’t drunk before, you definitely were now.

Rudy became more needy as the kiss went on, his lips moving faster and his hands pulling you closer against him. When his teeth caught your lower lip you were done for. Without any regard for reason you gave into him. His tongue slipped into your mouth battling with yours for dominance. Your mouths bumped clumsily against each other as you were smiling into the kiss, teeth biting here and there occasionally but you couldn’t care less. You had waited for this for too long to show any signs of hesitation. After what felt like an eternity you pulled apart, breathing heavily. Your eyes locked and it felt like ecstasy was coursing through your veins.

“There you are! We’ve been looking for you for at least an hour.” You were thrown into ice-cold water as JD’s voice pulled you back into reality. You looked at him, the rest of your friends heading towards the door. Rudy and you shuffled apart awkwardly and fixed yourself a little. Your short dress had ridden up and his hair was all over the place.

“C’mon guys, we’re leaving!” Chase shouted from afar.

Your eyes wandered to Rudy, a content smile lying on his swollen lips as he stared at the floor. His hand slipped around yours and he pulled you after him, walking backwards so he could look at you.

“Our little secret,” He said with a wink and cupped your cheek in his other hand, before pecking your lips once again secretly and then following the others outside and to the Ubers taking you back to your flats.

You were still not fully understanding what had just happened, if it was all a feverish dream caused by the alcohol. But every time you thought that this could only be in your imagination Rudy’s hand on your thigh or around your waist pulled you back into reality. This was no longer part of a role, this was real life. And you would enjoy every second of it.

Tags: @lovelymaybankk @sspidermanss @1d5sosddl @arthiriticcricket @teamnick @lieswithoutfairytales @styles-xoxo @normatural @k-k0129 @mileven-reddie @perfektionsmakel @1-800-imagines @http-cherries @golden-eroda @outofstyles13 @jj-maybank-stan @fandom-phaser @hopelesswritingxd @teenwaywardasgardian @poguecollins @jjswhore @xpastel-kawaiix @styles-edward-harry @rollinsstuff @obx-baby @masintahin @floretsoleil @ivebeenthinkingboutu @fandomxreaders @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @pookie-cleary @kiarascarreras @runway-to-my-aid @saturnspack @sunshinemadds @hucklebaefinn @baileythepenguin @spider6oy @whoreforouterbanks​ @diego-klaus-hargreeves​

(I hope I didn’t miss anyone! If you’re not on here but would like to be send me a quick message xx)

#outer banks #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks netflix #outer banks imagine #rudy pankow #rudy pankow fanfiction #rudy pankow imagine #rudy pankow x reader #rudy pankow smut #rudy pankow fic #jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank fic #by poguesrforlife

[winchester-purgatory]

Summary: Sam finally proposes to Jess

Written For: @spnchristmasbingo

Square Field: Christmas proposal

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Jessica Moore

Word Count: 1703

Warnings: None needed 

The alarm went off, blaring and beeping, echoing in their bedroom, stirring Sam from his sleep. He groaned, but didn’t move, still tired.

He and Jess had gone to bed late last night due to an office party at the law firm where he interns. It was kinda boring, most employees being in their forties and up, but Jess was there to make it better - and report about the two employees she caught having a drunken affair on her way to the bathroom. He even had managed to win one of the prizes of the night, a bottle of expensive whiskey, which he'll give to Dean as an additional Christmas present, not being a whiskey drinker.

As tempting as it was to hit snooze, he already hit it two times which meant it was around 10 o'clock.

''Make it stop,'' Jess sleepily complained from behind him, facing the opposite side of the alarm clock. She tried to tug at the comforter in hopes to hide underneath and block the loud noise, but it was hogged by Sam's weight, being a blanket hogger. ‘’Sam!’’

Forcing his eyes open, he reached out to turn the alarm off, making them both sigh in relief. This alarm might do a good job at waking them from a deep sleep, but its sound is damn annoying when it’s a day off.

Sam rolled over and kissed her shoulder tenderly, wrapping his arms around her, not ready to leave the bed yet. The blonde hummed, leaning into her lover's touch. ‘’Five more minutes,’’ she mumbled, eyes still closed.

A chuckle rumbled from Sam’s chest. Okay. Five more minutes.

‘’I’m so glad we got out of hosting the Christmas dinner - again. No need to wake up early and stress with the food or setting everything up,’’ Jess declared, feeling very cosy.

''This apartment is way too small for a Christmas gathering anyway. Where would the guests sit? We don't even have a proper dinner table.''

‘’We could put Cas and Charlie in the living room and Dean and Claudia on the balcony. The patio set should still be there,'' Jess suggested with amusement.

‘’I can already hear him complaining about the snow falling into his beer or that his ass is starting to feel numb from sitting on the metal chairs in the cold.’’ Sam chuckled, imagining the scene perfectly. ‘’It’s better at Dean’s place. He always gets way too drunk and I wouldn’t see Claudia hauling him in the car and to their house. He'd crush her with his dead weight.’’

Although they've been living together for four years, slow mornings like this were rare. Morning where they could sleep in, be lazy in bed and cuddle. They always had to rush to get to class or work - and sometimes even on the weekend on Jess' end, a perk of being a nurse.

Whenever it would happen, they liked to cherish every minute and sometimes even have breakfast in bed. It was a guilty pleasure.

Not today though, as ringtone went off, blaring through the bedroom.

''Ugh, it's mine.'' Jess detached herself from Sam to grab her phone on the right nightstand, checking at the caller ID. ''It's my mother,'' she announced with mild annoyance, a picture of her and her mom at her 40th birthday taking the whole screen as it kept ringing.

Their laughter was cut short when a ringtone went off, blaring through the bedroom.

''Ugh, it's mine.'' Jess detached herself from Sam to grab her phone on the right nightstand, checking at the caller ID. ''It's my mother,'' she announced with mild annoyance, a picture of her and her mom at her 50th birthday taking the whole screen as it kept ringing.

That interruption was the signal that morning cuddles were officially over and they should get started with their day. ‘’I’ll go shower while you talk to her.’’ Sam got up, fetching some clean clothes from the top of the dresser.

''I'll join you if you finish before you,'' Jess said with a smile and a wink before answering her phone. ''Hi, Mom, how's the preparations going? Has Dad started early on the eggnog again?''

Sam looked down and smiled. How did he get so lucky?

.

When Sam returned to the bedroom, Jess was finished with her call. She had opened the curtains and snow was falling outside, dusting a light coat of white in the streets.

She pouted, seeing him half dressed with a towel over his hair. ‘’Already? I was about to join you.’’

''Sorry... How's your mom?'' he asked while dry toweling his hair.

''She's doing good. She's pretty disappointed we won't be joining them for Christmas this year - again. Plane tickets are just so expensive during this time of the year and, no offense babe, but your car wouldn't last the trip.''

Sam chuckled, throwing the towel in the laundry basket. ''It's okay. I know it's crap. Dean reminds me every single time he sees my car and its damaged bumper.''

''She wishes us a jolly christmas eve...and not-so-subtly asked if she has a wedding to plan.'' Jess huffed a laugh, still hearing the echoes of her mother wondering how they weren't engaged after being together for five years. ''At least she didn't ask if I was pregnant.''

''Maybe she does.''

''What? Sam, I’m not pregnant. I’d know if I were-’’

‘’No! Not that.’’ He shook his head. ‘’The part about planning a wedding.’’

‘’I think you skipped a step here: we need to be engaged first.’’

‘’Let’s do it now.’’

‘’Sam-’’

‘’I'm dead serious, Jess! I've been thinking about it for a couple months already. I even got a ring...''

Jess' eyebrows pulled into a confused frown, trying to process all this new information. ''What?'' she asked, eyes rapidly filling with various emotions.

Sam stood and went to their closet, fetching the old box filled with memories from his years at college from the back, and pulled out the blue velvet box where the ring was perfectly resting. He opened the small box and stared at the dainty, simple band with diamond in the middle and nodded. It's time.

His palms were getting sweaty as he returned to the bed, feeling nervous. He wasn't nervous about Jess possibly saying no. He knew she'd say yes, she already made that clear. It's just that Jess deserved the best and Sam wanted the proposal to be perfect. He was afraid of messing up and getting his on-the-moment speech wrong.

Sensing his nervosity, Jess took his hand and tugged him back on the bed. She looked up at him and smiled, sparkles of joy already in her eyes even though he hadn't popped the question and she hadn't seen the ring yet. The beaming look on her face told him this was the rightest thing he'll ever do. He was gonna marry this girl.

''Jess. Since I got that ring, I kept practicing how to present the question and trying to find the right way to propose, the right moment, but I think this is it.’’

10 o’clock on Christmas Eve morning wasn’t your typical ‘perfect’ proposal, but Sam didn’t want to wait anymore. Dean had suggested he’d do it tonight at his place, but Sam didn’t like the idea of a crowd - even his closest friends and brother - watching them. He liked privacy and, what’s more private than between your four bedroom walls? 

‘’This might sound cheesy and overused in proposal speeches, but I wouldn't be who I am today without you. When we met, I was in a bad place. I had gotten into a really bad fight with my father about my future and moved all the way to california to follow my dream. I was miserable and lonely, but there you were in that diner, golden curls and sparkling blue eyes, serving coffee to pay off your tuition. I came to this diner every day for weeks although I was short on money solely so I could see you.'' Sam paused, realizing how stalker-ish his behaviour sounded. ''Unlike the guy at table seven, I wasn't there to ogle your body in your waitress uniform. I was there for the bright smile on your face and to hear your laugh because it was the only thing that would brighten my dark grey sky.''

The blonde reached out and squeezed Sam's hand, remembering the tough times. Freedom hadn’t tasted sweet the first couple months. It was very dark and lonely and difficult on every end. Sam had been long tormented by his past, always thinking about his brother and father he left behind, the absence of support from them.

‘’I remember when I first brought you to my dorm. Collin couldn’t believe I caught a girl like you, so...out of my league. The nerd doesn’t get the hot girl in our world,’’ he said in an attempt to make a joke. ‘’It’s been the two of us since college. Can it be the two of us forever now? You pull me out of my comfort zone and make me do things I would never do on my own without forcing me into anything. You motivate me when my hopes are down, you make me smile when I feel down, make me feel special when I feel alone and misunderstood. You were my home when I had no home to go to. You’re the first girl I loved.’’

There had been girls before Jess. Amy Pond when he was twelve. It didn’t last long, barely over a month, but it still counted. Penelope Svenson, the girl from the café in his hometown. They never went past the first date. She was too self-centered for him. And Rachel Nave, his prom date, who hooked up with his brother on prom night. Thanks Dean. 

Looking back, those relationships were insignificant. 

‘’Remember the night I reserved us a table at this fancy restaurant? I had been saving for weeks to take you there on our anniversary, But when the day came, I couldn’t get myself out of bed and had to cancel. You showed up to my dorm, all dressed up and excited for our date. I felt so bad. I thought you'd be upset and slam the door on your way out, but you just smiled and said we'd go another time. You even stayed in my dorm and we cuddled and watched movies on my busted laptop. That’s when I knew you were the one for me.''

A small frown creased on the blonde’s forehead, remembering that night in Sam’s crusty dorm perfectly. ‘’Sam, that was over four years ago.’’

He looked down and nodded. ‘’I know. You stayed when others would’ve left and that meant a lot to me. It showed me you weren’t only with me for the good and that I could be fully myself with you - no holding back.’’ Sam paused, the velvet box feeling warm and kinda sticky in his clammy hands. ''Jessica Lee Moore, will you marry me?’’

#spnchristmasbingo #sam winchester #sam winchester x jessica moore #sam x jess #supernatural fic

[sparda3g]

The Seven Deadly Sins Chapter 309 and 310 Review

Chapter 309 Review

I want to apologize for the late review for this particular chapter. With the next chapter already released, I will run down as quickly as possible. The chapter covers the awkwardness of the Sins’ awareness of Meliodas, leaving from earth forever. Not only Meliodas had to endure the sadness from his friends, but Elizabeth had to endure to keep smiling while her friends cried for her. She did fight to prevent him from being the Demon King and stay in the realm for eternity. It was almost like she lost the battle, but it is what it is. It was a bit touching to say the least.

The one part that fans have been dying to know is the situation with Zeldris and Gelda, and thankfully, this chapter unveil it; however, it’s not all good news. The good news is Gelda is freed from the seal, just as Meliodas promised. The bad news is Zeldris is missing, assumed to be gone from Earth, whatever exactly that means. Just when she is back to roam freely, he gone missing. I do feel a bit sympathy for Meliodas since he feels guilty for the mess. I am glad that this series is acknowledging the faults or flaws of the characters; in fact, the next chapter even did it better, but let’s not jump ahead.

The most amusing moment is the big news at the castle. The King Bartra proposed Meliodas to not only marry Elizabeth, but inherit the throne as King; the easiest Game of Throne battle. It was the best time for Meliodas to break the bad news, but the awkward mood continues on. The real shock comes in when Elizabeth shares her thoughts. Not only she objects her father’s proposal but decides to join with Meliodas to the Demon Realm. Well, it’s not like she has any future at Earth, so it’s fine to chase after her man. I mean it could have been worse, like chasing after a man who tried to kill you and have nothing to offer back at your hometown. That sounds insane.

This was a good chapter that is slowly resolving everything there need to be addressed, though some will be missed; at least, that’s how it was progressing. “This is building up for a sad farewell to two beloved friends and I like it. I know the final battle wasn’t that great as well as anti-climactic in some regards, but the epilogue has been nice so far. Maybe a little too happy, but it is what it is. Now that Elizabeth and Meliodas are going away forever, the ending is going to be bittersweet, but heartwarming for the two who struggled for a very long time.”

Did you notice the quote? It’s there because in my early draft, I was going to address like that. The reason for keeping it there in quotes is to give you an idea where my mind was thinking at the time. The next chapter… shattered it into zillion of pieces.

Let’s begin…

Chapter 310 Review

The series is close to the end with the chapter’s title, “Farewell.” If that wasn’t convincing enough, the magazine also indicated that the series is at the climax; strongly suggesting the conclusion. It was a fun ride while it lasted. It’s the night before the day of departure. Elizabeth is getting ready to leave for tomorrow and Elaine wish her the best. It’s nice to see more of their friendship, which I thought it’s sweet. I remember the chapter where they talk like they have so much in common. It would have cool to see more teamwork from them, but their friendship is good. Elizabeth may not be cursed anymore, but her time on Earth is nearly over. It’s better than death, that’s for sure.

I like the scene with Hawk singing to the sky; the same song that his late brother sang. I thought it was charming for what it was, though it does play a part later on. Diane is still upset that her two close friends are leaving forever. I do hate goodbyes. Merlin details the Demon Realm, which sounds like hellfire; nothing like Dragon Ball’s interpretation of hell. Luckily for Elizabeth, she can survive there for being so holy. Even so, I can’t imagine me thinking, “This is right,” while living in practically hell. The best of luck to her.

I thought the following scene from the last chapter was skipped entirely, but it turns out it was saved for a flashback, but it does help out the narrative flow. Elizabeth is pure solid on embarking the life in the Demon Realm for all eternity (not literally), and she has no regrets. Like I said in my last chapter review, she has nothing left on Earth, so this is fine. Granted, it reminded me how one character decided to hop in a different timeline for a guy forever, but you know, if you have a new path with a bright future (irony), take it.

What makes the scene heartwarming and oddly rewarding, at least to me, is Meliodas’ regrets. While Elizabeth is ready to go to her new life, a bit irony, Meliodas has tons of regrets to go over. It was amusing at first with Meliodas wishing his future child to meet with Ban’s, and Diane and King wonder what about theirs. Someone jumping ahead of Meliodas’ future. It then becomes pretty sentimental with Meliodas admitting that he doesn’t deserve the good treatment, rather belong in hell. He even admitted how he was incredibly selfish to focus on Elizabeth over everything. It resulted Zeldris’ death, which confused me, as well as Arthur’, which also confused me. It’s probably just from his thoughts. Best to wait for confirmation like a grave.

The reason why I said rewarding is because the writing acknowledged the flaw of Meliodas’ character. For a while, I was annoyed by the hard focus on the romance, despite having its moments. I don’t hate nor dislike it, but the plot could’ve have that in the background, not the foreground. It’s as if the world can’t move without them getting together. I understand it’s Romeo and Juliet influence, but it doesn’t have to brush everyone aside. That all said, the fact he acknowledged his flaw does ease up the bumpy journey. The last thing I want is everyone think this is perfectly fine. Yes, it doesn’t repair the flaw entirely, but it salvaged enough from being a fatal one.

It does help with Sins reflecting all the good deeds Meliodas has done, even when his main focus was Elizabeth. There’s ups and downs in life, so Meliodas should be thankful for not only doing some good deeds but making great friends along the way. The captain couldn’t be anymore prouder to be with them. The Seven Deadly Sins is disbanded and sadly, it’s for good. This was a pretty nice last moment with the team.  The series is really ending and although it was flawed, like what series isn’t really, I am going to miss it.

The day of departure is here with the portal to the realm placed in the isolated snowy field, and already feel like it’s truly ending. I’m expecting an epilogue (to an epilogue) such as a huge time-skip to finish the story in the next chapter, so I’m prepared for the closure of current timeline. I like the fact Hawk decided to go on a journey to Purgatory to see the life his brother lived in. It’s no wonder why he was singing last night; it’s a way to say, “His next path is set.” This is a nice sendoff.

What’s also a nice sendoff is Elizabeth’s. She smiled in front of her loved ones, but deep down, she was sad to say goodbye. It’s why she quickly turn around to leave. I respect that and despite my problems with her character, she has a good end. The whole scene feels good yet sad because once Meliodas and Elizabeth leave, the good old day is over. Meliodas says farewell and well, the series is almost over. That page got me a bit touched. It was fun while it lasted…

Now…

Imagine yourself in my position after reading my review. It sounds very crystal clear that I absolutely believe the ending is here and nothing will go wrong. This is the best place to play the theme song. Go play Pokemon theme song where Ash said goodbye to Butterfree. It has the same setup. If anything, just play the first theme song. Roll credit, because it’s over. Hell, play Avengers Endgame credit scene with awesome roll call graphic cards, because that’s how perfect the ending is. It’s set to end the series for good. You got that? Fantastic! Now then, play the song that played in that infamous episode of Game of Thrones called, “Red Wedding.” Why? Because this happens!

In my experience, I have been trolled by writers many times; whether it’s from an anime, manga, television show, etc. This has to be the best one so far; at least in the realm of anime and manga. Everyone I know bought it. I bought it. Nakaba trolled us; simple as that. He played us like a damn fiddle! I thought Ishida’s Tokyo Ghoul’s “ending” was messed up; this takes it. Kubo of Bleach, you better return with a new level of troll. Now that I have cool down, let’s go over the positive.

To begin with, it’s not over. This is great for those who wants not only a better final boss, but a better endgame path. Next, the curse being destroyed is no longer the case as Elizabeth has freaking died in front of our eyeballs. First of all, that takes kintama to do that, so kudos to Nakaba. More importantly, the idea of easily removing the curse is redeemed because it’s still on. Let’s face it, many of you have bought it and hated it. Well, we got trolled in “The Seven Deadly Trolls” episode. Lastly, I said this line after the chapter ended, “Did Nakaba redeem himself?” Depend on the path, I’ll say he has created a second chance. I’m legit amazed. That gif with that guy with his mouth wide open and then applauding is worth using it here.

So, that was the chapter; a shocking one at that. It goes to show you: go to Kodansha to pull the best level of troll. Right, Isayama and Nakaba? But seriously, I was fine with the way it was going. All the indications for it to end were there. A new anime season to end the series, Nakaba’s declaration to end under 40 volumes, and the amount of hype for the climax from magazine and the editor’s note. All the LIES! As for the chapter itself, it was heartwarming and swell until the ending. I can’t believe I fell for it. Well, many of us did. What’s next? I don’t know, but I am really looking forward to it. We’ll see soon enough. In the meantime, I could only imagine Meliodas’ mind saying this line…

Go to 00:58 - 01:18

Have a good day...

#The Seven Deadly Sins #nanatsu no taizai #chapter 309 #chapter 310 #review #spoilers

[myaekingheart]

I haven't written one of these up in a while but considering I had a lot dreams last night and the night before, now is as good a time as any to compile them all here. The first two were from the night before last, the third was probably also from the night before last but I feel like I had it during a nap or something, and then the rest were from last night.

In the first dream, I was in a grocery store. Everything was white and yellow and I don't really remember why I was there but I'm pretty positive I remember walking around with my boyfriend and I was pushing a shopping cart. It was pretty much like a typical grocery store run except when we got to this one section, there was a tall refrigerated shelving unit (like the kind where you find cheese and lunchmeat and shit like that) on one side of the aisle and a long refrigerated basin like where you find seafood and sometimes ice cream. Someone spilled something in the aisle and all these kids were running around playing. Maybe they were using it like a slip-n-slide? Maybe it was just their excuse for a free-for-all? Who fucking knows? I just remember the few people who were there (the store was pretty empty) were playing all in that one aisle and I, at one point, knelt down and joined them or something.

The second dream was very vivid and kind of inspiring? I dreamed that I made a new Rapunzel braid on a whim, this time doing things a little differently than the last time and fixing mistakes I felt I made in my current one. I remember thinking this project was so much easier now that I had the experience I did and everything went so smoothly, and the wig looked so good at the end of it. It was consistently thick and the braid was neat and tight and I was gluing flowers everywhere and it just looked so perfect. My only complaint was that it was kind of short (down to my knees rather than the floor) but that was mainly because I remembered when making my current wig, I had to attach an extension to the tail of the braid to make it long enough. All in all, though, it was really inspiring and made me feel like I could make another braid if I really wanted to, that I had the capacity and experience now to fully construct a perfect Rapunzel braid (because as much as I love my current one, there are definitely things I wish I had done differently or wish had turned out differently). The only negative about this dream was I remember someone, I think it was my mom, making a little remark about it but like it wasn't anything too big, just knocked my confidence down a notch but other than that, it was fine.

The third dream was really hazy and I don't even know if you'd call this a dream so much as a vision of sorts, because I didn't envision anything different than where I really was. I just remember waking up and my boyfriend was out of bed and in the living room. I was laying there half asleep and could overhear him on the phone with someone, probably his mother, quietly talking over some very vague, early-stage plans for proposing to me. Maybe he was trying to sort out money, like how he'd afford the ring or something. It was all so realistic not in the sense that everything was super vivid but in the sense that it just felt real and as if it was plausible, even though I know there's a very slim chance this actually happened. It probably just came to me in my subconscious because I feel like pretty much everyone I know is getting married and so weddings have kind of been on my mind frequently. If it was real, however, then holy fucking shit. I know I have visions of the cliche Christmas morning proposal bullshit but like I know it's not gonna happen, at least not now, because money and other priorities are a thing. Either way, I guess a girl can still dream.

Last night was when the bulk of my strange dreams hit. The first was basically a revamp of Dirty Dancing and was really strange, yet kind of enjoyable? I remember being at this community pool at this resort standing with some other people before Dalton Rapattoni and his mother. His mother was making introductions or whatever and saying that Dalton was the new dance instructor for the resort and that he'd be teaching us. I kind of remember them both pulling some dance moves but what ensued afterward were some very hazy visions of me and Dalton spending time together, sort of like some kind of affair, like we were laughing a lot and hanging out frequently. There wasn't so much romance, I don't think, as there was just friendship-like stuff but I think we did kiss at one point. I just remember the scenes of us hanging out were really vivid and realistic and they kind of gave me a good feeling inside? But then again, I was feeling good in general last night so it might've just been that.

The next dream was really intense and kind of confusing? I don't remember the beginning very well but I remember sitting on the floor in a large public restroom with a bunch of other people. Apparently we were on a school campus down south in my hometown that was put on lockdown, though for what reason I don't quite remember. It was definitely something far more unorthodox than a nearby shooter, though. Like a gorilla attacking the school or a massive spill or something like that. Either way, I remember sitting on the bathroom floor with a bunch of other people. We were in there for hours and I was starting to get pretty bored. I remember wondering if I could break my laptop out but being unsure if that was allowed until I saw a guy sitting across the room on his and decided it would be fine. Before I could pull it out of my backpack, however, there was an announcement that the lockdown was lifted and that everyone was advised to evacuate the premises as soon as possible. I panicked a bit because I had gotten separated from my boyfriend in all the commotion and knew there was no way I'd find him in the crowd, but one of the girls in the bathroom with me turned out to be my boyfriend's sister (he doesn't have a sister, she only existed in the dream and her name was Ally and she looked exactly like my old best friend's younger sister) so I stuck with her after she introduced herself (as if my boyfriend and I were in an early stage in our relationship in this dream, even though we were still living together at this point). I think at some point during this, I called my dad, too? I remember having some sort of communication with my dad, like as we were exiting the bathroom or something. But anyways, before we knew it, we were suddenly in a Walmart with everyone else scrambling to gather supplies for whatever massive disaster was upon us. While we were there, I ran into a friend of mine who I was quite frankly very shocked to find because he lives in a completely different state and has never even been to my hometown. Anyways, he was delighted to see me and Ally and I relayed to him that we were far from home and I couldn't find my boyfriend so my guy friend offered to drive us up north back to my place since he was heading in that direction to get back to his home anyways. I agreed and we parted ways for a bit so Ally and I could finish our shopping and then we would be on our way. As we were exiting the store with our bags, I remember Ally say something like "I really like [insert guy friend's name here]. He's a nice guy" to which I replied something along the lines of "Yeah, he is. While I'm not as passionate about him as I am about your brother, if [insert boyfriend's name here] never got together, I probably would've ended up with him instead." This conversation ended just as we got to my guy friend's truck, which was a large black van with blacked out windows. It honestly looked very questionable and if I hadn't known the owner, I would've just assumed it was a pedo van and steered clear of it as much as possible. But since I did know the owner, Ally and I climbed inside (her in the backseat and me in the front). The van honestly reminded me very much of one my dad used to have as a kid, especially the inside, and so stepping into the front seat filled with me a fuck-ton of nostalgia. We turned on the air and I think the radio and my guy friend and I said something to each other and then we were on our way and that's where this storyline trailed off.

The next dream was especially random-- I nearly forgot about it-- but it happened regardless so here goes. I was walking with my mom and my cousin's twin girls, specifically, but I'm pretty positive there were some other people there, as well. The outside of the building we were approaching looked like the community hall of my grandmother's church but as we stepped inside the glass double doors, the interior looked very similar to the auditorium at my high school: big room with chairs everywhere and a stage at the back wall. At the front of the room, right as you walked in through the doors, was a girl dressed in a rather low-quality Elsa costume. At first I even thought she was bald but it turned out she just had really pale, thin hair that was pulled back tight against her scalp and then cascaded down into a braid over her shoulder. I could tell she was quite frankly a crappy Elsa but my cousin's girls, along with all the other children that were there (I only distinctly remember one of them in particular), were absolutely enchanted by her. The twins ran up to her and she instantly pulled both of them into a hug and was talking with them and shit like that, usual character performer stuff. The real plot twist was that during this interaction, I somehow got roped into being Anna even though I wasn't even in a costume (the closest thing to Anna I had was a pink knit beanie that I made back in high school) and yet somehow there I was, acting like a ditzy Disney princess in jeans and a t-shirt and a beanie, looking very unprincess-like. And somehow the kids weren't phased by it??? Even with me being majorly passive-aggressive towards Elsa. I don't know, man, it was just really bizarre and I personally don't want to ever dream a thing like this again.

The last dream was again, very bizarre and random. I feel like it was somehow linked to the bathroom dream, like an alternate timeline or something? There was this giant gorilla wreaking havoc in this beautiful mansion-type building. Everyone was freaking out, he was destroying rooms, just totally out of control. I think, if I remember correctly, I was caught in his crossfire about to be crushed when I discovered I had the ability to speak to him and was able to calm him down and make him stop what he was doing. Granted, it wasn't speaking like human to human speaking but rather I'd speak to him and he'd understand and listen to me. But anyways, I guess I calmed him down and then next I knew, my dad and grandma were guiding us through this series of fancy libraries in the building. And I mean, these were STUNNING libraries, like the kind you find in foreign countries with crown molding and marble floors and lots of windows that let in tons of light and oil paintings on the ceiling. We walked into one that was all very pastel yellow (like bananas, go figure). It was in this room that my grandma led us to an alcove in the wall displaying framed pictures and a couple books on little easels for formal display. As we approached, she motioned to the items on display and said that my mom had picked out a movie for us to watch, and lo and behold, on display in that alcove, was a poster for Beauty and the Beast. I remember glancing to the gorilla, thinking how much he looked like the Beast himself, and I almost made a comment aloud about how "Don't you think that's a little stereotypical/racist/inappropriate/ironic/whatever?" but I held my tongue and just thought that to myself instead. And that's basically where the dream ended. Why gorillas have made a recurring appearance last night, I have no fucking clue. Viva la King Kong.

#weird dreams #ramblings

[thisdaynews]

What Mayor Pete Couldn’t Fix About the South Bend Cops

New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/what-mayor-pete-couldnt-fix-about-the-south-bend-cops/

What Mayor Pete Couldn’t Fix About the South Bend Cops

SOUTH BEND, Indiana—Pete Buttigieg emerged from his black Suburban outside the police department Friday night, and stepped into the middle of the tensest moment of his nearly eight-year career as mayor. Protesters, angered by a police shooting five days earlier, pressed a list of 10 demands into his hands. On the list: Would he support an independent investigation by the Justice Department?

After quickly scanning the document, Buttigieg agreed. But there were nine more issues and the crowd wasn’t appeased.

Story Continued Below

“Can you say it to us today in front of all these cameras that black lives matter?”

“Did you just ask me if black lives matter?” the normally unflappable Buttigieg replied, anger in his voice.

“Yes, we want to hear you say it,” another said.

“Of course black lives matter,” Buttigieg said into a microphone.

“You running for president and you expect black people to vote for you?” a black woman asked him.

“I’m not asking for your vote,” Buttigieg said.

“You ain’t gonna get it either,” the woman shot back.

This confrontation in his hometown was not where the 37-year-old mayor had expected to be on Friday night. Buttigieg’s schedule had him in South Carolina at Rep. Jim Clyburn’s World Famous Fish Fry. Recently, he had been riding a carpet of congratulatory headlines about his robust fundraising and his surging presidential campaign. He was on a glide path to center stage at next week’s Democratic debates.

But early last Sunday that all changed, when a white police officer in Buttigieg’s South Bend police department who had been accused of excessive force in the past shot and killed a 54-year-old black man. Officials said the victim was rifling through parked cars and armed with a knife; the officer hadn’t activated his body camera video and the camera on his dash hadn’t switched on either so there was no independent record of the fatal encounter. Buttigieg left the campaign trail to deal with fallout from an encounter that almost instantly was swept into the fraught national debate over how police treat minorities in their communities.

Over the course of the week, under the gaze of a horde of national media, Buttigieg struggled to reclaim control of the narrative that he has nurtured during his surprising candidacy—the thoughtful, compassionate technocrat whose smart policies have reinvigorated his once beleaguered Rust Belt city. On Thursday, a black pastor interviewing Buttigieg on a radio show noted pointedly that Buttigieg was “running two campaigns: One is for the presidency of the United States of America; and the other is damage control after a Father’s Day shooting of Mr. Eric Logan.” A day later, Logan’s grieving mother screamed at him during the march: “I’m tired of hearing your lies.”

The shooting has exposed a lingering and bitter conflict between South Bend’s black community and a predominantly white police department—a department that has grown only whiter since Buttigieg became mayor in 2012. As mayor, Buttigieg, who has pledged transparency and professionalism, sometimes seemed to make matters worse. Three months intohis first term, he forced out the city’s first black police chief, who had been accused of illegally recording his officers, some of whom were said to have made racist remarks; since then, there have been a number of controversies with racial overtones—violent confrontations between police and minority residents, and lawsuits by black officers alleging that Buttigieg’s handpicked police chiefs engaged in racially discriminatory behavior.The officers involved in the shooting and its aftermath each have been accused multiple times of using excessive force against black people. On Friday, the lawyer for the victim’s family specifically targeted Buttigieg in an interview,saying the shooting was a byproduct of the Buttigieg administration’s “acceptance” of police misconduct.

The criticism comes at a particularly sensitive time on his campaign. After having been dogged by concerns that he wasn’t a viable candidate with black voters – scoring as low as 2 percent in some polls – he had begun to make some progress.When word came of the shooting, Buttigieg had just finished a trip to South Carolina, where he campaigned on his so-called Douglass plan, a policy proposal aimed at fostering black entrepreneurship and lowering incarceration rates. A Post and Courier-Change Research poll last week showed him surginginto third place behind Joe Biden and Elizabeth Warren, a gain of 6 percent among black voters there. Buttigieg the presidential candidate has caught fire, in part, due to his knack for connecting local and national issues,but the shooting this week dredged up a kind of history that could tie them together in the most damaging way.

On Wednesday morning, after two days of private meetings with community members, Buttigieg emerged to make his first public remarks since Sunday’s late-night press conference. He went to a local Board of Public Safety swearing-in ceremony to address six new police officers and their parents. “As you know, you are also joining this police department at a very challenging moment here in South Bend,” he told them. “We gather in the wake of a shooting that has left family members grieving the loss of someone they love and leaves an officer and his family dealing with the consequences of a lethal encounter.”

Buttigieg acknowledged that relationships between city leaders and police and community members had frayed. The mayor expressed frustration that the officer hadn’t activated his body camera—part of a $1.5 million technology investment a year ago—when it mattered most. He had also instituted implicit bias training for his police force and created a website where citizens could review documents related to complaints against police. This, he said, “is just one reminder of how much work is yet to be done.”

“How far we will have to go before the day when no community member or officer would hesitate to trust one another’s word—and ultimately, how far we have to go before we live in a society where none of the circumstances leading to Sunday morning’s death could have happened in the first place?”

After his speech, Buttigieg fielded media questions that focused on how he was handling the response: Why hadn’t he attended a vigil for the victim at the scene of the shooting Monday evening? “I took some advice from community leaders on this and reached the decision that it would be more of a distraction if I were to attend.” Buttigieg faced what seemed to be a no-win situation: attend the vigil and be accused of co-opting it for the sake of his presidential campaign or not attend and be criticized for callousness. What about the optics of appearing publicly with police first instead of in the community or with victims? “I’m not really concerned about optics so much as making sure that the community is headed in the right direction.”

On Thursday, Buttigieg took to a local radio station, WUBS, where he was asked a question by black pastor, the Rev. Sylvester Williams Jr., that seemed to strike closer to the heart of Buttigieg’s record on racial issues. Why, he was asked, were all six of the new officers he had just sworn in white?

***

Buttigieg responded with an apology—“We need people of color on the police department,” Buttigieg said, “and I have failed to get us a more diverse police department”—but that uniformly white array of new cadets wasn’t an aberration under Buttigieg’s administration.

In 2014, during his first term in office, black officers made up more than 10 percent of the 253-person department. By last year, that figure had dwindled to 5 percent. Contrary to its national image as a white, working class, Catholic town, South Bend is 40 percent non-white, comprised of 26 percent blacks and 14 percent Hispanics. And yet its police force each passing year under Buttigieg has looked a little less like the city itself.

While South Bend’s police department problems began long before Buttigieg arrived in office, a decision he made early in his administration set him back. In March 2012, three months into his term, Buttigieg asked for the resignation of his popular police Chief Darryl Boykins, the city’s first black chief. He had learned that Boykins illegally recorded members of the force whom he believed had used racist language, and that Boykins was under investigation by the FBI for it.

Buttigieg phoned Boykins and asked him to resign. (Buttigieg has said that call was a mistake, and that since then he has conducted all personnel changes in person.) “I sat at the end of the conference table in my office, and contemplated which scenario was more likely to tear the community apart—a well-liked African-American police chief potentially being indicted over compliance with a very technical federal law, or me removing him for allowing things to reach this point?” Buttigieg writes in his memoir,Shortest Way Home. “There was no good option: the community would erupt either way.”

Buttigieg’s prediction was right. The backlash was fierce and the storyline virtually swallowed his first year in office.

“This issue, previously an abstraction for me, was now hitting home,” Buttigieg writes in his memoir. “Ferguson and everything that followed in the Black Lives Matter movement came after the tapes controversy exploded locally, but their urgency grew from the same root: the fact that many of the worst historical injustices visited upon black citizens of our country came at the hands of local law enforcement. Like an original sin, this basic fact burdens every police officer, no matter how good, and every neighborhood of color, no matter how safe, to this day.”

The now-infamous tapes case has earned Buttigieg tough press nationally since he entered the crowded presidential race, but it was only one of a series of race-related policing controversies he has faced in office, all of which contributed to the raw emotions that emerged in the wake of the shooting.

The names of the two officers involved in the shooting Sunday were already familiar to many of the city’s black and Hispanic residents and activists. According to court documents, Ryan O’Neill, the officer who fired the fatal shot, had been named in two lawsuits related to racially motivated misconduct. In 2008—several years before Buttigieg took office—a man namedDerrick Burton claimed that O’Neill called him a “stupid n—–” and “tazed me unconscious.” In another 2008 lawsuit against multiple officers, Michael Alexander accused O’Neill of leveling “multiple blows to my head and my back.” Alexander alleged that the officers had tasered him and that he heard them “laughing about how I was flopping like a fish.” Both cases, which were filed while in custody by the men themselves and without legal help, were dismissed by judges.

In July of 2008, South Bend police Lt. David A. Newton wrote in an internal affairs report, which POLITICO has viewed,that O’Neill should be removed as a field training officer because of otherracist remarks he made. Looking at a black woman, O’Neill allegedly asked a fellow officer, “Do you want to get some of that black meat?” O’Neill told the officer that he had dated black women in high school. But when they later saw a black man walking with a white woman, O’Neill remarked to his fellow officer: “Man, I hate seeing that. It makes me sick.” The incident was investigated by an African-American member of the police department. A spokesperson for the South Bend Police Department told POLITICO that the document was “one person’s testimony on an internal affairs investigation. The assertions presented were determined to be ‘not sustained’ at the conclusion of the investigation.”

Last Sunday’s incident also involved a second officer, Aaron Knepper, who drove the wounded man, Eric Logan, to the hospital in a squad car. He had called for an ambulance, but decided not to wait, according the account he gave officials. (Logan, who was shot once in the abdomen, died later.) Knepperalso had a history. In 2016, he was the subject of public protests that called for his dismissal because of a series of incidents over the years. Police Scott Ruszkowski, Buttigieg’s police chief, pulled Knepper off the streets, citing threats to Knepper. Four months later, Knepper was back on the beat.

In August of 2012, Knepper was one of three officers who tricked a mentally disabled 7-Eleven clerk into eating a spoonful of cinnamon in 60 seconds. The man became violently ill. His family sued. The city offered a settlement before trial of $15,000, but the family declined it, and the jury awarded $8,000.

“Obviously I’m not pleased,” Buttigieg said at the time.

That same year, Knepper and other officers entered a black family’s home in the middle of the night, and punched 17-year-old Deshawn Franklin six times and stunned him with a Taser. The officers had mistaken him for someone else. A federal jury decided that Knepper and his fellow officers violated Franklin’s constitutional rights, but awarded him and his family $18. More public outrage ensued.

Buttigieg deflected calls for Knepper’s firing, placing the onus on his police chief and board of public safety, which by state statute is the only entity that has the authority to hire and fire police officers. “Obviously, a firing-level personnel decision is made by the Board of Public Safety,” he said in 2016. “But just to be clear, I accept responsibility for appointments to the Board of Public Safety and (police) chief.”

In the interest of promoting equity, Buttigieg has appointed three African-Americans to the four-member Board of Public Safety (one seat is vacant). At a board meeting in September 2016, protestors interrupted a panel on which Buttigieg sat with Ruszkowski, the former head of the local police union who became police chief in 2015. “I don’t think this can be resolved by targeting any individual,” Buttigieg said. “It can only be resolved by making sure we have a higher level of trust in the community that’s borne out by consistently positive behavior and consistently fair discipline.”

Today, Buttigieg is on his third police chief. After dismissing Boykins, Buttigieg hired Ron Teachman, a white native of Bedford, Massachusetts. Police officers claimed Teachman had “run amok” while Buttigieg, a Navy reserve officer, was on leave from his mayoral duties to serve a nine-month tour in Afghanistan. A local activist accused Teachman of using racist imagery in a sermon, according a local media report. Davin Hackett, a military veteran with expertise in explosives, filed a lawsuit against Teachman for racial discrimination when he was denied a position on the bomb squad. Later, he claimed in a complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, that he was passed over for a promotion to sergeant in favor of a less qualified white candidate. In retaliation, Hackett says he was “subjected to unjustified investigations and discipline,” according to local news reports. Two other black officers filed race discrimination suits within the same year.

Asked on Wednesday by reporters what he had learned from tensions erupting over race-related policing issues, Buttigieg nodded to his early lack of deftness handling a complex subject that has ended the careers of other mayors.

“When I first took office almost eight years ago, I may have had a theoretical understanding of what’s at stake in issues of race and racism and policing, but it’s different when you bear responsibility for a police department and for the wellbeing of a community. I’ve learned about how raw these issues are.”

***

By mid-week, it seemed like Buttigieghad been speaking non-stop since he arrived three days earlier—talking publicly and privately, making sweeping statements about the long tail of racial injustice and issuing specific orders about the use of body cameras. He had met privately with Logan’s family and publicly pledged the city’s support for them and his commitment to a thorough investigation of the shooting.

On the night of the shooting, he talked openly about how his response was shaped by past mistakes. “We’ve had prior cases of use of force incidents and officer involved shootings where I hesitated, frankly, to get in front of cameras because we didn’t know very much, and it was out of our hands.”

Buttigieg spent hours on the phone with local leaders. “We don’t want to have to wait for final word from the different investigations to be taking next steps here to fortify community relationships, to keep channels of communication open, and to determine what we can do going forward that will be positive.”

And he sought advice from people he called “experts from around the country.” One of them was the Rev. Al Sharpton, the long-time New York activist who has been at the center of numerous racial controversies over the decades. Sharpton shared the advice he gave Buttigieg with MSNBC’s Chuck Todd. “I told him, ‘You’ve got to be very honest. You’ve got to be transparent. And this family wants justice.’”

But Sharpton also made it clear that history, especially involving race and policing, is difficult to shake: “I think the fact that he had a problem with the black police chief in the past—this brings all of this back.”

Buttigieg was not without support from some local leaders. “He’s been methodical about addressing what’s happened since Sunday,” Apostle Michael Patton, president of the local NAACP Chapter, told me. And one of his staunchest critics, City Councilor Regina Williams-Preston, who lost her primary bid to replace Buttigieg in May, even applauded his decision to step away from the campaign. “I think that was the right thing to do to come back and help us through this tragedy.”

On Thursday evening, Buttigieg blasted a lengthy email to supporters about his crisis back home. “Eric’s death,” he wrote, “no matter what details emerge about the circumstances and the actions of the officer involved – shines a bright light on a subject that impacts my life, your life, and the lives of Americans from all walks of life. All police work and all of American life takes place in the shadow of racism, which hurts everyone and everything it touches.”

Through it all there was the sense that despite all that Buttigieg had said, he still was not making headway with some of the most aggrieved of his constituents.

“The family has not had the consoling that they would’ve appreciated,” Oliver Davis, another black city councilor who ran unsuccessfully for Buttigieg’s seat in May, told me. He was shocked that neither Buttigieg nor a member of his administration attended the vigil for the victim Tuesday night.

Meanwhile, Coffman, the Logan family attorney, told POLITICO he planned to file suit against the city on Monday. “There’s several things that don’t add up in the case,” Coffman told me.

Then on Friday, Buttigieg’s campaign announced that he would not attend as planned Rep. Clyburn’s fish fry—a sign of how much he is struggling to extract himself from the crisis and return his focus to the campaign. Though he returned to South Bend for the march on Friday night, he resumed his campaign schedule Saturday to appear at the South Carolina Democratic Party Convention, a Planned Parenthood forum, and then a town hall in North Augusta. He planned to shuttle back to South Bend Saturday night in advance of atown hall of his own he hoped to hold as soon as Sunday. Meanwhile, as the investigators continue their probe of the shooting, the St. Joseph Prosecutor’s Office announced on Thursday that Prosecuting Attorney Kenneth Cotter hasn’t yet decided whether to appoint a special prosecutor in the case. Buttigieg has said he would support an independent investigation by the Department of Justice.

Whatever the outcome, the crisis doesn’t seem likely to be resolved soon.

Back on the basketball court, at the memorial for Eric Logan, in the muggy heat of an Indiana summer, Buttigieg furrowed his brow and placed his thumb and index finger on his chin. He was dressed up in his campaign uniform of white shirt and blue tie with a navy suit jacket. His husband Chasten stood next to him, hands clasped. “We have to learn to listen, as well as to speak,” he told reporters that morning at a press conference outside of South Bend Police Department. And so he was listening.

It was after 6 p.m. by now, the national reporters had left (only temporarily, it turned out). Across the park, black men shoved white styrofoam cups in the gaps of a chain link fence surrounding a baseball field, spelling out Logan’s name.

“We can’t keep getting hurt like this. There’s only so much that we can bear,” said Eli Cantu, the Hispanic activist who organized the memorial, addressing the mayor and other city officials. “This is an opportunity for you, Pete. You can really bridge this gap by addressing this issue correctly. These people need to be held accountable.”

“The officers need to be held accountable,” Cantu told me.

After the last person spoke, Cantu asked people to say something they loved about South Bend.

“The people,” one person said.

“The weather,” said another, causing people to laugh and breaking the tension of the moment.

And then Cantu directed everyone to put their hands in the middle of the circle. “South Bend on three,” he said. Buttigieg and his husband put their hands in the circle.

“South Bend,” they yelled, like it was a team huddle.

As the circle disbanded, and community members milled about, I asked Cantu how Buttigieg was handling the crisis. “I’d give him an ‘E’ for effort,” Cantu told me. “Has it gone somewhere? He’s trying. But is he making the necessary moves? I haven’t seen them yet.”

And Buttigieg kept trying. On Friday night, at the end of the march, he made a promise to the crowd. “I want you to know we’re serious about fixing this.”

There was a smattering of applause.

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[junker-town]

The Egg Bowl is back on Thanksgiving! How do Ole Miss and Mississippi State fans feel about this?

The Mississippi rivalry has plenty of Turkey Day history.

On Thursday night, a game that’s been played on Thanksgiving Day a total of 21 times will return to the holiday prime time slot. Ole Miss will travel to No. 15 Mississippi State in their 114th meeting and first Turkey Day battle since 2013.

Although most of these games were played either on or very close to Thanksgiving, the vast majority were played on the following Saturdays:

Out of the 108 matchups in this series, all but 12 have been played just before, on, or just after Thanksgiving. From 1998-2003, ESPN broadcast the game on Thanksgiving night. From '04-'06 it was moved back to the Saturday after Thanksgiving and was not on TV. In '07 and '08 the games was played the day after Thanksgiving. Since then it has been televised the Saturday after Turkey Day.

The game will be back on Thanksgiving next season, too.

What do fans think about the move?

To get a sense of what fans think about the big game moving back to Thanksgiving, I asked writers from SB Nation’s Mississippi State and Ole Miss sites, For Whom the Cowbell Tolls and Red Cup Rebellion.

I know there are mixed opinions about having the game on Thanksgiving. What are your thoughts on it, and why?

Justin Strawn, For Whom the Cowbell Tolls: There are lots of reasons why the Egg Bowl being played on Thanksgiving is both good and bad.

For the good, it's a great rivalry that doesn't always get the attention it deserves because it is so rare that both teams have had really good years at the same time. So when this game is on Thanksgiving, it gives it a spotlight that it doesn't usually get.

Now, the bad part about it is obvious. Thanksgiving is one of the biggest holidays, and fans who go have to figure out if they can make attending the game work into their plans, and if they can't, then they have to make a choice.

Personally, I've always thought the exposure of playing in a marquee spot outweighed all the other factors. But this year, I'm experiencing all the other things. I've never had a chance to attend the game since I got married and had kids, but this year I can. Trying to figure out a way to spend time with the family and get to the game has been difficult.

Jim Lohmar, Red Cup Rebellion: My thoughts are positive, and I'd say that's also the case for most of the people I know. I know the game's in Starkville this year, but it's great to eat an entire Thanksgiving meal in the Grove when it's in Oxford. In fact, I can't think of any place I'd rather be for that event.

Some will have other thoughts — “our very important rivalry game has been relegated to Thursday, and a major holiday at that,” — which is absurd. This is the only college football game of the day, and even vaguely interested college football fans will be tuning in.

Any best Egg Bowl Thanksgiving memories?

Strawn, For Whom the Cowbell Tolls: Two stick out for me.

In 1998, Mississippi State had just beaten Arkansas and put themselves in the driver's seat to win the SEC West. All they had to do was win the Egg Bowl in Oxford. The Bulldogs did win, with relative ease.

Second would be in 2013. Mississippi State was 5-6 and Ole Miss was 7-4, and most people had already crowned Ole Miss the state’s only program to be relevant on the national scene. The Bulldogs were down to their third-string quarterback. The defense kept the team in the game, and Mississippi State trailed 10-7 entering the fourth quarter. After a Damien Williams interception, Dak Prescott began to warm up; he had only been cleared to play earlier that afternoon. Dak would enter the game and lead the Bulldogs to a tying field goal. On fourth-and-goal in the first overtime possession, Prescott would run for the go-ahead touchdown. On the ensuing possession, Bo Wallace had a clear path to the end zone, but Nickoe Whitley would strip him of the football from behind, and the Bulldogs recovered in the end zone. The Egg Bowl win and win in the Liberty Bowl is what many believe propelled the amazing 2014 that saw the team go on to be No. 1 in the polls for five weeks.

Zach Berry, Red Cup Rebellion: After 2010 and 2011, Ole Miss fans were miserable and in desperate search of something of substance. In comes Hugh Freeze in year one, winning five games, running a fun offense, and on the verge of bowl eligibility. The only thing standing in his way was in-state rival.

All cheesy sayings aside, it truly was a night to remember. The visiting Bulldogs were riding a three-game win streak, and in a series where home-field advantage means very little, it was extremely stressful thinking of what a fourth loss would do to this program's psyche.

But, not to worry because this game was never, ever in question. Former surgeon Bo Wallace tossed for damn near 300 yards and five scores, and Jeff Scott ran for 100-plus.

The real story was Donte Moncrief and the song that will live in Egg Bowl folklore. A hometown rap group by the name King Kobraz came out with the banger "Rebelz (Feed Moncrief)" just in time for him to torch both of State's NFL corners, Jonathan Banks and Darius Slay, en route to seven catches for 171 yards and three touchdowns.

I was watching from a bar in Murray Hill in New York City (shout out to The Wharf) with the NYC Ole Miss Alumni group, and not a single person in that place could believe it or keep their seats. After three years of misery and coming off an awful, 2-10 season under known leech Houston Nutt, this not only gave Ole Miss fans something to get excited about, it sparked Freeze's rise (and eventual fall) in Oxford. And in turn, it gave fans another reason to celebrate on Thanksgiving.

Are you glad the game’s returning to Turkey Day this year?

Lohmar, Red Cup Rebellion: My thoughts are those of relief. This marks the end of the investigation season(s), and we can get it out of the way early, then sit back into the offseason and enjoy our Saturday slate without having to fret alongside all the other rivalry games out there.

As for the game itself, this one's always a weird animal. The past 30 meetings have seen them split, 15-15. Neither team has won more than three years in a row in that stretch. Dan Mullen dumped 55 points on Ole Miss in Oxford in 2016, and I'm sure the players that were there are feeling that this week, especially the seniors. They'll get up for it, at least for three quarters, before Mullen and Nick Fitzgerald just overwhelm Ole Miss' defense. I expect it to be high-scoring.

Strawn, For Whom the Cowbell Tolls: I think the exposure is what makes it worth it.

And this could be an interesting game because we still haven't heard what the NCAA sanctions for Ole Miss are going to be, and many Ole Miss fans blame Mississippi State for their NCAA troubles. Things could get chippy on the field, especially before the game actually starts.

On the field, the game should be a game Mississippi State wins in convincing fashion. But you know what they say, throw out the records when rivals play.

The tradition of the Golden Egg as the game’s trophy started in 1927, which also marked the first game between these two on Thanksgiving.

The Golden Egg was first proposed by members of Iota Sigma, an Ole Miss honorary activities fraternity. As thoughts of last year’s game, Iota Sigma proposed that a trophy be awarded in a dignified ceremony designed to calm excited fans. One proposal that was rejected was to send the goal posts to the winning side each year.

A&M [MSU at the time] approved the suggestion of an award, and Ole Miss, two weeks before the game, officially added its approval. The trophy, to be called “The Golden Egg”, would be a regulation-size gold-plated football mounted on a pedestal. Costs of approximately $250 would be shared by both schools. Ole Miss students held a tag day to raise funds.

The year before that, after a 7-6 Ole Miss victory, the matchup ended in a brawl:

After the final pistol, the Ole Miss boys rushed to the field, warmly congratulated their warrior, and proceeded to tear down the goal. The Aggies swarmed the field, but were late to save the goals. A fistic combat ensued, but the melee was put to a stop by the more sober minded before the Aggie "chair brigade" got into serious action.

That bad blood between these two fan bases is, um very much alive, as my colleague Steven Godfrey reminded us in 2013:

But on Egg Bowl week it's still suitable to boil everything down to the rednecks vs. the country club.

Before the game, you notice how willing the participants are to play to their own stereotypes.

This is not the Iron Bowl. There are no national titles at stake. There haven't been since the early 1960s. The Egg Bowl is a potent distillation of Mississippi as compared to its neighboring Southern cultures, a stronger high and a harsher burn.

Live in Mississippi long enough with an open ear and you can learn to hate everybody. Trust me.

You're either a red-dirt, hillbilly dipshit, kin to farming families outside Tupelo (and a cheater) or a racist, fork-tongued Jackson lawyer (and a cheater). And tonight everybody's a damn cheater, a "cheeeetin son of a bitch" precisely, as it echoes through the stands.

I've often wondered out loud around Oxford and Starkville that if everybody's cheating so damn much, is anybody really cheating? The answer around Thanksgiving week is, "yeah, those sons of bitches are."

Ahead of the 2017 matchup, Mississippi State and Ole Miss urged fans not to fight each other with a joint statement:

With Egg Bowl Week upon us, please join us in enjoying the tradition in a respectful and positive manner #HailState http://pic.twitter.com/kXcozEiqT1

— MSU Football (@HailStateFB) November 20, 2017

As for the “Egg Bowl” nickname, it wasn’t coined until 1978. Both teams were having down years and not bowl eligible, so Tom Patterson of the Clarion-Ledger used “Egg Bowl” throughout the week leading up to the game, to try and give it some importance.