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#virtual self ep
snowynightlightss · 15 days
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𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝑉𝐼𝑅𝑇𝑈𝐴𝐿 𝑆𝐸𝐿𝐹 𝐵𝑅𝑂𝑇𝐻𝐸𝑅𝑆
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gisatako · 2 years
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s4ep23, and it happened! ralph took control over it :DD BUT WHO IS THOMAS?!!
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double--blind · 7 months
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(SPOILERS) Ashley, self-esteem, and starvation
So, I adore Ashley. She's this intensely toxic, vicious, cruel, manipulative girl, and her psychology gives me hella brainworms. Andrew's not the only one whose head I wanna crack open and root around lol. She's thrown away the world just to keep her brother by her side, and she'll continue to do worse and worse for the same reason. She's pretty awful! I've been thinking about why, though. How did things get so bad? How did her soul get so dark?
We don't know everything (I'm waiting for those new eps patiently aND CLAWING AT THE WALLS AND FROTHING AT THE MOUTH but whatevs y'know whatevs I'm normal. I'm fine), yet what information we have been given is bumping around my brain like a DVD screensaver on hyperdrive
It's clear from the start that the roots of Ashley's issues lie in her horrible, neglectful upbringing, but it's hinted that even those outside of her family felt the same abt her. I'm lowkey even betting we'll learn later on that she was ostracized by her peers somehow. However, what's most disconcerting, I believe, is how little she was when the results of this alienation are first made apparent to us (bc kids aren't dumb; they notice this stuff oftentimes instinctively, impossibly young, before they even know what it means to be hated), and how devastating the consequences were.
(There's something decidedly childish abt her dream sequence in the "questionable" route—filled with crayon scribbles and rabbit plushies, the metaphors simplistic yet profound—which really hammers in how these sentiments are things that have made a home in her since childhood. Formative subconscious truths.)
Growing up unloved and noticeably unwanted by virtually everyone around her likely left her with a gaping hole in her heart that she'd spend the rest of her life trying to fill. She'd make friends, but she'd always worry that they'd leave her, that they'd betray her, nothing tangible or weighted enough in their connection to trust in its persistence. Why should she expect otherwise? Not even being bound by familial ties ensures affection if her parents are any indication.
Every lesson she'd ever learned had always taught her this: you are easy to abandon. You cannot love and be loved by virtue of your own worth.
You have to rip their affection from their clenched hands if you want it so bad.
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This understanding carries with it an undercurrent of degradation, instilling within Ashley a constant, biting inferiority complex which will never fail to be a source of insecurity. She will always be put last. She was difficult to raise, so her parents gave up on raising her. She was difficult to get along with, so her friends gave up on getting along with her.
It's an odd cycle. She's difficult bc she needs to be to get attention, but bc she's difficult, she can't keep it. Not without having whatever fondness she's managed to cultivate within someone fray at the seams, volatile and prone to collapse, bleeding toxicity.
Hence, her relationship w/Andrew.
By being the only reliable constant in her life, caring for her and keeping her company, Andrew essentially became her only source of happiness, and she's since learned not to bother with anyone else. Still, it's dangerous to keep all your eggs in one basket; since he is all she has, she must protect her place in his life with even greater ferocity, which becomes a torturous ordeal when coupled with her damaged self-esteem.
It's apparent in her quarrels with Andrew that she needs constant reassurance that she is wanted in some capacity or perceived in some positive light (getting pouty when Andrew says he's "stuck with her", needing to hear that she's pretty, needing him to "choose her", wanting him to say he loves her back, etc. etc.), yet her insecurity remains, bc unlike her, he's got options. She doesn't think he needs her like she needs him. He's got a gf, their parents love him, her friends love him. Why would he settle for her? What if someone better comes along? Someone she can't scare away?
Wouldn't he just leave her like everyone else?
Even before getting locked in the coffin of their apartment, starvation's been a constant theme in Ashley's life. She's constantly aching for love, and Andrew's the only one who can feed her. When you're forced to fight for a bite to eat or suffer every moment you hunger, you become ravenous—covetous—when faced with food; you don't want the hunger to return, so you lock down the source of your sustenance, wary of its retreat. Ashley's in a permanent state of intense insecurity, always anxious that the love that gives her life will leave her.
Andrew knows Ashley better than anyone else in the world, and it's obvs to everyone and him how desperate Ashley is for him, but I don’t think Andrew has truly, consciously processed the depth of that desperation. It's there buried in his head somewhere no doubt, but rn, he doesn't operate w/the direct awareness that he is everything. He is brother, mother, friend, and soulmate. He is life and love, air and water, everything that is good in the world—everything that there is to justify existence.
It's heartbreaking, in a way, that it's so difficult for Andrew to convince her of his loyalty. This goes further than his tendency to hide his true feelings, bc when push comes to shove, he's at her beck and call. Objectively, he's hers. She doesn't see that bc all she sees is all the ways she can lose him.
So, she gets bratty. She gets pushy, possessive, territorial. Manipulative. Gets under his skin, guilts him to exhaustion, bc she can't see him staying any other way, bc he doesn't get it, bc it works. He bends to her will, for her sake. For now. It's always "for now", bc he'll start slipping away again, and then it'll get worse. She does worse.
Becomes worse.
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hexpositive · 5 months
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Hex Positive, Ep. 042 - Extended Warren Tea with Jenn the Ouija Girl and Lorelei Rivers
Now available on your favorite podcast app!
Happy New Year, witches! While we’re recovering from the mad rush of the holiday season, I’m sitting down with returning friend of the show Jenn the Ouija Girl and new pal from the tumblrverse Lorelei Rivers to both drink AND the spill the tea on those ghost-hunting grifters we all love to despise, Ed and Lorraine Warren.
Discussions about the careers and rhetoric of the Warrens make the rounds regularly in discussions about the paranormal among members of the witchcraft community. But who were the Warrens? Why do they inspire such ire even as the Conjuring franchise gains steam? How much of what we think we know about the supernatural comes from them? And why is it important to recognize – and refute – their rhetoric when we encounter it?
The Critical Thinking Witch Collect will be having a free virtual brew January 20th! Join me and Julie Bloomfield as we discuss glamours and self image. Sign up on their website: ⁠http://www.criticalthinkingwitches.com⁠.
This Month’s Guest Hosts –
Jenn – ⁠The Ugly Kitchen⁠, ⁠ASMR Geographica⁠ on YouTube, ⁠TheOuijaGirl.tumblr.com⁠
Lorelei – ⁠CrazyCatSiren.tumblr.com⁠
Check my⁠⁠ WordPress⁠⁠ for full show notes and links for further reading, as well as show notes for past episodes and information on upcoming events.
⁠⁠Hex Positive is now on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠! Visit the merch shop on ⁠⁠⁠Redbubble⁠⁠⁠ as well!
You can find me as @BreeNicGarran on TikTok, Instagram, and WordPress, or as breelandwalker on tumblr. For more information on how to support the show and get access to early releases and extra content, visit my⁠⁠ Patreon⁠⁠.
Visit the⁠⁠ Willow Wings Witch Shop⁠⁠ to purchase my books and homemade accoutrements for your craft! (And look for the Shopify announcement coming soon!)
Proud member of the⁠⁠ Nerd and Tie Podcast Network⁠⁠.
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signanothername · 7 months
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A personal headcanon, and I shall die on this hill, is that Blades is stronger than HW. This bitty bot goes from carrying a giant boulder in season 1 to the MHQ WITH all 4 Bots on it in season 2, to holding up a whole ass oil rig in season 3. Optimus THE Optimus was having trouble pulling the rope under ground and Blades (smaller than OP and waaaaay weaker than Bulkhead) was the one who helped him. I still think Boulder’s stronger, but Blades has some muscle to him, or maybe it’s just core strength XD. I like to think and if he ever took a swing at HW sparring for whatever reason they’d both be impressed (HW) and horrified (B) by this. He’d still lose tho, I doubt he knows how to fight aside from basic self defense or how to restrain a patient. HW would definitely react like Tylong in that bridge scene, while Blades would run like Po when they told him Tylong escaped.
Oh my god I love the way you think CHCHCHHCHC
I feel like Blades’ strength mostly comes whenever he’s focused on the job he has to do, his anxiety is usually what makes him clumsy and/or easily distracted, like in the Hightide ep, he trips and falls when he started backing away cause he got too anxious from Hightide’s intense attitude
When he’s focused though? Damn it’s like Blades is a different bot (he isn’t different he’s just badass <333)
And we even see him hold on his own in multiple episodes, like the virtual video game episode when he fights so many trees on his own, or when he and Bee fight the Energon eater, Blades is far from weak and I’ll literally fight anyone who tells me he’s weak /lh
The thing is tho, I feel like Blades relies on his agility than strength most of the time which is pretty fitting for him
But yep it’s really funny to think of the scenario that Blades would knock down HW, HW would probably feel so proud of Blades for it chcchhcjc
Blades probably wouldn’t like sparring with Heatwave cause HW tends to be a tiny bit rough and very competitive and we even see that whenever they play in the show and it’s always fun and wholesome to see HW and Blades bickering <33333 (and that’s mostly the reason i like to think Blades and HW are the youngst of the Sigma team)
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That of course doesn’t mean Blades himself isn’t competitive to an extent and it’s always a delight to see Blades boasting whenever he does something that HW couldn’t hcchchchch
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But honestly i’d die for the idea that Blades and HW roughhouse sometimes <333333
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vagabondfromkanto · 3 months
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PROFILE: MATOI RYUKO
Laid out her core abilities and some design details for the Life-Fiber Hunter post-canon.
Follow under the cut for some relevant canon references.
FIBER ABSORPTION
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She and Senketsu used this ability to evolve. Now she does the same alone.
Still requires a finishing move to be performed first.
BLOOD POWER-UP
No canon reference, but stands to reason if she and Senketsu are "the same".
She would, however, gag and likely have a stomachache 'cause the human part of the body protests.
SENJIN BLADES
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Made possible by absorbing the hardened Life-Fibers from the Rendering Scissors. Virtually hold the same characteristics, but are costly and painful to summon.
ENFORCING LEGS/HANDS BY BLOOD FOCUSING
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Speed and jump height are self-explanatory. Vertical run is seen twice (both times out of sync) — at the election finals and in the 25th episode.
Obviously can't power up both hands and legs at the same time, 'cause. Blood.
HAIR REACTIVITY/CHANGING COLOR
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As mentioned: strictly hereditary. And we've seen Ryuko's hair react to her emotions out of sync mode once already, so.
EYE STITCHES
This is just my personal fun explanation for why her eyes look that way, it doesn't do anything. Does not imply they were stitched by someone, it's just a fiber quirk.
REGENERATION
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Nuff said. Very much possible even out of sync, as illustrated by Ryuko fighting without Senketsu in ep 24.
For the sake of not making her too invincible (now where's the fun in that) and to keep some differences from Ragyo (Ryuko has far more human left in her, just by percentage), I'm saying it slows down after too much damage and blood loss.
However the damage still must be. Considerable. She kept that up for quite some time even as teenager.
SHINRA-KOKETSU ABSORPTION AFTER-EFFECTS
A fun little tool that might help me later. I have my thoughts about it, but I do not intend to whip it out in a thread unless Ryuko ends up on a verge of death. And even then I'll likely discuss it with whomever I'm writing with.
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asocial-skye · 18 days
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my unpopular opinion about lovely runner is that i think that sun-jae actually killed himself in the original timeline, and that he was only murdered in the second timeline.
read below, for my analysis!
if you look at the sun-jae perspectives in the first timelines (i.e. before im sol came back to the future from the second try after her successful running away from the kidnapper), he's clearly miserable. He clearly hates being an idol, he doesn't seem to get on with his bandmates (i love that when im sol changed the timeline, baek in-hyuk and sun-jae became close friends again; they have good friend chemistry, and their relationship is genuinely sweet), and he definitely feels tremendous guilt over what happened to sol (he definitely internalized what she said in the hospital).
if we look at the murderer, the way that sun-jae would've died, which is being pushed off the balcony into the swimming pool, would become way more difficult, and harder to pull off. we didn't get the best look at that corpse, but there were virtually no signs of struggle. dude is kind of smiling, or it is more contentment (this could just be me not understanding facial expressions or byeon woo seok breaking character as a dead guy) if you look at ep 9, then we see that the killer would struggle against sun-jae, who's pretty broad and taller than the killer. even if the killer had the element of surprise, he'd still have to get sun-jae knocked down, which he couldn't do in ep 9 even with sun-jae still not expecting it, and then drag him to the balcony and push him off. also from what we see about this killer (which is practically nothing as far as i know; why does he even want to kill sol? is he like a serial killer who just kills random people, and then sol and sun-jae just happen to escape?) , but given that the murder that is confirmed is done by knife stabbing, it seems like just throwing him off the balcony is not usually his MO. people also stab themselves to commit suicide.
also if you look at his final interaction with sol from his perspective, he's suddenly onslaught with all of the guilt and self-hatred that he had dealt with fifteen years ago along with his current problems. he loves her no doubt, but he's also wracked with guilt over what he feels is his fault in putting her in a wheelchair, and also some despair over the fact that she doesn't remember. When all of those feelings smash together, who wouldn't fall into such deep despair that they'd consider something?
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thatgirl4815 · 7 months
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No no no I'm already seeing ppl accuse Ray of calling Sand a whore again because of the fight scene and I won't stand for it! That's not what he's doing! Have we forgotten that Sand himself said those EXACT WORDS to Ray in ep 2??? He flat-out told him he would do anything for money. Their whole convo revolved around that point! Ray is deliberately repeating Sand's own words back to him - he's saying 'you told me yourself, remember? You'd do anything for money.' I don't know why this bothers me so much but I just think it's a really important detail - there's meaning behind his words; it's not just the lashing out of ep 6, it's a callback to how their whole relationship began in light of the devastating truth Ray thinks he's just learned.
Yes, tbh I think this is one of those situations where even if Ray shouldn't be upset, I understand why he is. As someone who feels unlovable, and like nobody will ever put up with him, it makes sense that Ray's first reaction to finding out his dad is paying Sand would be to question the foundations of their entire relationship. For Sand I understand being angry in return because it is so clear that he looks beyond Ray's money--otherwise he wouldn't have rejected it so many times. It's true that Sand does say that he's willing to do virtually anything for money in Ep2, but he also very clearly states that if he truly likes someone, there's no money involved (and he makes that point about sex specifically!). In addition to consistently rejecting Ray's offers to pay him, Sand also puts up with Ray's insults and admits that he cares for him before Sand ever meets Ray's dad.
In Ep6, Ray called Sand a whore to try to hurt him, but I don't think Ray has ever truly believed it. He even says himself in the last scene of Ep10 that he got so upset because of how much he does care--so much of Ray's character seems to revolve around his self-loathing and self-destructiveness. So to find out that the one person who might love him is getting paid...that would naturally make him question everything.
Throughout that entire fight in Sand's apartment, I kept wondering why Sand wasn't responding to hardly anything Ray said. He just absorbed the blows without defending himself. I think that's for two reasons. 1) Sand is the type of person to take a lot of pain and hold it inside (hence his "I can deal with my emotions myself" mentality). 2) Sand recognizes that Ray feels betrayed, but he probably feels like he doesn't need to defend his actions because he has so clearly proven to Ray before now that he cares about him beyond any money Ray's dad might offer him.
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xenosagaepisodeone · 1 year
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❗️Low effort xenoposting because my coworker went to sleep and i have nothing to do at work right now❗️
"shion and kos-mos' relationship is familial" shouldn't be considered The reading of their relationship as often as it is given that their development in Ep. I is built around actively refuting it. shion begins the series treating kos-mos as her child as a maladaptive means of coping with kevin's death. kevin likened the development of the kos-mos archetype as him and shion having a baby, and shion proactively continues to treat kos-mos this way not to honor his memory, but because she cannot let him go. kevin is alive so long as kos-mos is not allowed to be. she expresses in their opening cutscene together that she doesn't want kos-mos to awaken from the virtual reality training sim they converse in because it would mean that she functionally could no longer be in denial about what kos-mos is - a weapon.
one of shion's core character conflicts in Ep. I is how confused, frustrated, and to some extent, scared of kos-mos' personhood she is (as well as how the kevin variable interferes with overcoming this). shion is someone who relies on control to navigate her relationships because of how deeply unpredictability frightens her; this is best exhibited when its revealed that she keeps realian self destruct codes despite believing in realian rights. she feels an inexplicable affection toward kos-mos and a desire to get closer to her, which runs in direct conflict with her desire to merely possess kos-mos as some kind of inert child-like figure. one of the reasons she freaks out after kos-mos kills virgil because it is the first time she is confronted with the reality that kos-mos is an autonomous force to be reckoned with, not her baby, and kevin is gone. repeatedly from that point, shion is given a choice: she can pursue kos-mos' absolute obedience at the expense of everything that she was created for and all of the lives she was meant to save, or she can learn to support kos-mos on her own terms, and embrace kos-mos as a genuine friend, confidant and partner at the expense of doing away with the inkling of attachment she has to kevin's ghost.
it comes to a head at the end of Ep.I where shion is given the choice to let kos-mos stay behind so everyone can escape albedo's ship- a scene that intentionally calls back to the ending of the first level where shion almost dies by refusing to pull out of the simulation. it's not 1:1 as that cutscene was intended to illustrate that yes, shion is depressed and suicidally devoted to kevin's vision, but in tandem with her character development, the contrast between shion in the beginning and the end of Ep. I is palpable: she wants to live, she has people she wants to protect, and by allowing kos-mos to stay behind, she is also starting to realizing that loving others means respecting and trusting them, even if being unable to secure the outcome of your relationship with them is scary.
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space gay people slay
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carterkeller1234 · 1 month
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Serial Experiments Lain 4/24/24
And here we have the final post that I'm going to make for this class, and we're ending on a work that wasn't even made in the 20th century but is as contemporary as ever with the themes that it tackles. To start off, Serial Experiments Lain is unique in the sense that it has one of the most fleshed out sound designs I have seen in any anime. There's always a constant whirring in the background, creating a constant imbalance that has you begging for silence, however, when you achieve that silence you're met with scenes of intense discomfort and surreal eeriness. The sound design truly contributes to Lain's unraveling psychologically, with the utilization of characters speaking without sound and the amplification of commonplace sounds like chalk on a board, it all works in tandem to sustain the uneasy tone as we find more about the Wired and the many subsets of it. Speaking of which, for a show made in 1998, it has the most contemporary themes I've seen, with it perfectly capturing the wonder that is the internet, where despite having the entire world at your fingertips and connections everywhere, it can still isolate individuals and contribute to loneliness. Lain is a perfect main character to tackle this theme, with her introverted nature being a relatable trait that I myself can identify with, allowing me to understand her head first diving into the internet and how that obsessiveness can affect one's understanding of identity and reality. This series is just so naturally eerie, with the world being drenched in light and the almost-brutalist architecture further contributes to the anxiety this show induces in you. Even the way this anime handles social interactions are so grounded and based in reality, with discussion of tragedies like suicides being treated as less and less significant as the series progresses. In short, the questions that Serial Experiments Lain raises about technology and its relation to identity still remain relevant in modern day, with an almost prophetic understanding of how the internet and digital communication would reshape human lives through vessels like social media, virtual reality, and even more recently the discussion of artificial intelligence.
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I feel like this image captures the tone of this show very well, Lain is a just a young girl who seems to be surrounded by this indescribable sense of emptiness and isolation despite having everything she could desire upon first glance. Her also putting this bear suit on is a visual representation of this lack of control and self, as she has a greater understanding of her place as a child in a world she doesn't understand.
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I found this conversation between Lain and her father to be a fascinating evolution from the previous one in ep 1. Lain has immediately become more engrossed in her Navi and is now serving as the technologically consumed reflection of her father, who now stands in her position almost confused as to what his daughter has grown into. I plan on rewatching the whole series for context but just from this few episode display, I can tell this show shall be one to remember.
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wooglebear · 4 days
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so what's the deal with Melvinborg’s sister?
in tetocu23, Hazel is virtually unrecognizable next to her ACIT version.
It all starts with Melvinborg's situation. He isn't a cyborg in this AU, so Hazel will need to have a new motivation to travel back in time. And since it's a reboot, her dynamics with krupp/cu, melvin (melvin's her half brother after all), Gooch, Bo, Jessica and the Sophies, Erica, Stanley, Dressy, cash networth, Cara, and the boys will be drasitically different from ACIT (I'm covering Cara, Cash, and the Melvins)
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i imagine Hazel as someone who's come from an offshoot, not the timeline where Melvinborg is from. She'd mostly want to make sure that an alternate timeline where Melvinborg doesn't even exist becomes the main timeline- or what she sees as a Better Timeline - and try to set up the parameters for its existence but it goes sideways in some way. As for what her second reason is... perhaps she's trying to keep Melvin from falling under Melvinborg's control - not because she wants to save or protect him, but because she doesn't want her half sibling to leave her, causing her to go to great lengths to save Melvin.
Like canon ACIT, Hazel shows up in the equivalent of the season 2 ep 1 (or according to the writers of the Au, the season 2 two-parter).
Hazel starts off not really associated with anyone else in class because she's quiet people forget she's there. She starts to gain real self confidence instead of relying on the detective shit
She's part of a system, with Private Hazel being her alter ego. Fun fact: Private Hazel and Hazel talk to each other via voice recorder and a notepad respectively. I got this idea from the Sticky Notes AU by @infini-tree. Only instead of Sticky Notes, it's a notepad.
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Cara shows up in the latter half of the season (which, accroding to the writers of the AU, hybridizes aspects of season 3 and a little of the space season, so now the kids are in a camp for spring break mandated by Melvinborg) with Cash in tow.
I basically COMPLETELY rewrote cara from a hacker (like in canon ACIT) into something a little more plausible for a girl who came from space, but I kept things like her hacker skills. in this version, she’s an evil genius.
Cara does plan to take over the world; it's just very low on her priority list. So for now, she tries to make Hazel her servant (unwilling servant, mind you).
The only problem is… she’s falling for her.
Yup, unlike in canon ACIT, Cara’s going to end up with an enemies to lovers plot with Hazel.
And then we get to Cash himself. Cash is basically his canon self, but with a dash of "deliberate drama causer" and a pinch of dt17!Scrooge McDuck seasoning mixed in. The Scrooge to Hazel's Webby and Cara's Lena.
This is Cash Networth, billionaire owner of Camp Uppercrust. HE'S SHOWN UP LOOKING TO STIR UP SOME TROUBLE AND BECOME A FULL TIME QUESTIONABLE INFLUENCE ON HAZEL AND THE KIDS. EVEN THOUGH LENA SEEMS ABOVE IT ALL, HE ACTUALLY COMES TO LIKE ENTHUSIASTIC HAZEL, AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS A UNHOLY MASHUP OF BFF FOR HAZEL AND, FOR CARA, WFE (WORST FRIEND EVER).
Cash has some kind of big history and backstory (it doesn’t really play that much into the main story), which is sort of a parody/takes inspiration from The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck.
Cash's design is his canon one, but sometimes he wears a plaid jacket over his pink shirt.
Hazel is so hellbent on trying to get rid of her brother that it actually shoots her in the foot sometimes.
Also, Cash has a niece... who I'm not gonna tell you about, for it'll be told about when I get to her.
(tetocu23 AU: @infini-tree / @cartchytuns)
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snowynightlightss · 9 months
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Porter Robinson but on the eras tour poster :)
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myshredda · 1 year
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Don’t mind me, just thinking about how in the jobs Ep when yellow’s literally FUCKING DYING, Duck screams at Red to “DO SOMETHING!”, because he’s always been the one to save them. To “turn off the machine”, if you will. I think the reason why Duck is the most distressed by change is because he doesn’t have the power to fix it, which is why he’d rather stick to the script. It’s because Yellow and Red hold those cards, even if they don’t realize it. It may explain his disappointment in Red. -🍓🍷
Yes exactly!!! Because Red was the one who wandered into a position of power in that episode, so Duck and Yellow (floor workers) are completely powerless compared to him socially. The trusted him to make the right decision, and instead, he acts selfishly and only operated to save his (and the company) from being held accountable.
The jobs episode is one of my absolute favorites just because of the way they so easily weaved all of this social commentary into a silly puppet show with gratuitous gore! Red became the "Boss" by happenstance, he was in the right place at the right time, he has no idea what he's doing but everyone around him (the fax machine and the rubbish bin) are yes men, they constantly stroke his ego BECAUSE he's the boss, regardless of how well he's actually doing the job (which is badly, because he DOESNT WORK HERE) and in the end, when an employee has been injured due to the unsafe working conditions of the warehouse, he fires the employee instead of taking charge and helping the situation in anyway. It was self-preservation and saving face for the company.
Yellow, who had worked at the factory for 40 years at that point, is retiring. He's wasted his entire life at the factory, he's got no friends or family outside of this job, having met his "wife" simply because she's next to him on the line, and has re-modeled his entire personality into fitting into the workplace as seamlessly as possible. He's seriously injured as a senior, and instead of getting helped, he's fired. With no retirement, his medical bills would be ASTRONOMICAL and that's only if he survived the incident. He'd be mentally, emotionally, and physically scarred for the rest of his life, with no help from the place of employment that he poured his entire soul into.
Duck, the most outspoken of the three, is immediately fired for questioning the system, and is tossed into a pseudo-helpful therapy situation that's obviously supposed to be a critique of how even mental health resources have been co-opted by the capitalistic systems we're all trapped in. The therapy isn't to help Duck feel better, it's a bunch of buzzwords and empty platitudes and forced medication that would get him back to work as fast as possible, and when he refuses, a physical representation of the system (the care hound) LITREALLY chews him up and spits him out. Finally, he's back in the workforce, because the other alternative is virtually impossible to live in. It's been made into a hostile culture of either working until death, or being shunned by society and your peers, and most people choose the former for a sense of stability in an already unkind world.
TLDR:
Red represents those of us that are allowed to fall upward, either by change or due to random circumstance. Those that fall into a job and work it their entire lives, never once having to see the realities and hardships of life, and only work to further their own life, disreguarding the rest of us without a second thought.
Yellow represents most of society, who give their entire lives to a thankless job and are discarded once they're no longer useful in a capitalistic society. Left to suffer and die after working thanklessly for his entire youth.
Duck represents those who try to fight against the system, and are told there must be something wrong with them mentally. Pill and therapy forced onto those who feel disillusioned with life in a endless grind of work and when you're finally sick of it you're shunned, ostracized, and (eventually) reprogrammed.
After all, you must be mentally ill if you don't want to waste your entire life in a factory with no free time, lousy pay, eat the same bad food over and over again, and retire with only a 'thank you' card and shitty speech from a boss you rarely saw that does as little as possible and eats diamonds while you choke down cups of rancid oil.
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dustedmagazine · 6 months
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Dust, Volume 9, Number 11, Part 2
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Eli Winter
We only get ten audio clips per post now, so we've split the Dust in two. Check out the early alphabet entries here.
Colin Miller — Haw Creek (Ruination)
Colin Miller’s songs come from far away, from a physical, temporal, emotional remove, like bits of colored memory or the line from a book that meant something once, but you now can’t quote exactly. The North Carolina-based multi-instrumentalist and home taper is connected to the Wednesday orbit, having played on and produced MJ Lenderman albums and produced Wednesday’s I Was Trying to Describe You to Someone. His own music is softer and more indefinite, but very fine. It is less like listening and more like being enveloped by a cloud. “I Don’t Love You Anymore,” for instance, has all the elements of an indie rocker: strummy guitars, punched out drums, and a catchy, tuneful melodic line. And yet it drifts in through the window like a warm breeze, gently stirring your attention as it moves the air around you. “Paper Roof,” too, buzzes with feedback and blistered bass tones, but very softly. What you notice, first, is the high yearning singing, shaded by the fuzz of lo-fi production. You wonder what these songs would sound like with clearer, more commercially viable sonics, whether they’d land with more impact or less. But here they are, gently pushed forward for you to appreciate best after repeat plays, and they are really quite good.
Jennifer Kelly
Niecy Blues — Exit Simulation (Kranky)
The reason the ol’ “this band is like x meets y” trope is both kind of reviled and yet impossible to wipe out is that as a formulation it’s both weak (unless you’re the person the comparison occurred to, chances are good you won’t hear it) and strong (how else to try and describe something as elusive as music than with something so slippery and paradoxical?). It might be better to imagine a kind of topographical map. Then you could try and chart the impossible hinterlands out where the territories of (say) Grouper, trip hop, and Kelela might converge, and somewhere around there you might find Niecy Blues’ first record. Like all such comparisons though, the intent is not to suggest Exit Simulation is mere pastiche or reducible to parts found elsewhere, but to indicate the heady and diverse contemporaries it shares an atmosphere with. Whether it’s the extended reverie of “U Care,” the hazy float of “Violently Rooted,” or the droning shuffle of “The Architect” the result is a debut of striking assurance and depth. Comparisons fail at some point; you really just have to give it a listen yourself and figure out your own map, like Blues has.
Ian Mathers
Bänz Öster and the Rainmakers — Gratitude (self-released)
This quartet consisting of Europeans Bänz Öster on double bass and Javier Vercher on sax and South Africans Afrika Mkhize on piano and Ayanda Sikade on drums delivers spiritual jazz rooted in the gentler music of Coltrane and Ra. The six long (eight to 12 minute) originals, well-recorded before an appreciative but fairly restrained audience, are uplifting and replete with sophisticated soloing, especially by Mkhize. These guys don’t break any new ground, but the grooves are infectious, and what is described in the liner notes as the “high-voltage connection between North and South” contributes to the good vibes.
Jim Marks
Pile — Hot Air Balloon EP (Exploding in Sound)
In case February’s All Fiction didn’t make it clear, the handful of songs from the same sessions that comprise the Hot Air Balloon EP should drive the point home that Pile is a band at the height of its powers. Recent live shows incorporating a few of these songs into setlists only go to further serve that the distinction between what made the cut for their latest full-length and what got left behind is virtually indistinguishable; some of Hot Air Balloon’s fun is in finding where these songs would’ve best worked their way into All Fiction’s track list. The knotty time signature changes and unexpected rock moments still weave and burst forth, and Rick Maguire’s addictive, meandering pathos carries moments you’ll be left thinking about long after it’s over; me personally, I can’t unlodge the descending chorus of “Exits Blocked” or the very specific line on “The Birds Attacked My Hot Air Balloon” where he sings, “I could see your house from here if I’d bothered to look.” It’s these stories in miniature, like Fitzgerald in The Crack-Up or Felix Feneon, that leave their mark most potently — if, of course, you’re inclined to that sort of thing.
Patrick Masterson
Taiko Saito /Michael Griener /Jan Order — WALD (Trouble In The East)
Free improvisation may be a creative space where an instrument’s baggage can be dropped, but this is easier for some than others. Given its limited and highly distinct sound, the vibraphone’s particularly hard to untether from expectation, but Taiko Saito gives it her best shot on WALD. The Sapporo-born, Berlin-based mallet-wielder, who has worked at length with Silke Eberhard and Satoko Fujii, does not totally play against expectation, but she does keep her instrument’s stylistic mandates at bay by shifting between time and no time, swing and no swing, and steering a middle course between the big wall of sound you might expect from, say, Jason Adasiewicz, and the bebop-derived suppression of resonance pursued by an earlier resonance. This CD documents her first encounter with bassist Jan Roder and drummer Michael Griener, who constitute Die Enttäuschung’s rhythm section, and that association will tell you more about their commitment to the moment than what they actually play. Each of the album’s four spontaneously realized tracks is a world unto itself in which chaos is courted, swing cultivated, or slipstreams ridden. These are woods to get lost in.
Bill Meyer
Skyphone — Oscilla (Lost Tribe Sound)
Lost Tribe Sound has been on something of a jag this year with their Maps to Where the Poison Grows series. This new installment by Danish trio Skyphone is an absorbing and succinct 32 minutes in which attention to detail, texture and instrumental interplay account for a lot. Ideas are introduced then carried through to their natural culmination, with each of the three players sounding present and laser-focused in their creative process. Live drum kit, bass, synths, piano, acoustic guitar, and a whole host of other instruments blown and struck are used to bring vivid color. Think early Mum, Opsvik & Jennings, and Kiln. Six of the seven songs here feel just right (centrepiece “Arbonaught” is especially good). It’s only on final track “Will to Change” that the introduction of heavily effected vocals knock things out of balance and breaks the spell. Elsewhere this is masterful and hypnotic stuff.
Tim Clarke
Stella Siebert/Nat Baldwin — 1.30.22 (Notice Recordings)
This live improvisation set from Stella Siebert — mixer, turntable, objects — and Nat Baldwin playing double bass celebrates special techniques and advanced sampling with chaotic jubilation. Sections are taken out of order (we never get to hear the opener), sculpting the set from free play to intentionality. The recording opens with abrupt samples alongside repeated string pressure. “4” has a bit too much piercing sine tone for my taste, but especially diverting is “9” which features crackling vinyl and ostinatos right at the edge between pitch and noise. The concluding track, “2,” is a 23-minute-long session in which Baldwin plays extended techniques against ostinato samples and handmade percussion. The previous material coalesces into an edgy opus that remains varied and imaginative throughout.
Christian Carey
Tar Of — Confidence Freaks Me Out (sound as language)
Tar Of makes music in brief, bubbly spritzes. Heavy on the keyboards, with giddy abstracted vocal parts, these cuts dance across your field of vision and disappear from view. “Ey Vaay,” the single, adds a bobbling saxophone line to the mix, caroming in from the margins as a dizzy pulse of “ba-ba-ba-ba-bas” push the track forward. “Cardinal” clicks and rattles and swells with wordless counterparts. You’ll need to take a breath when it clatters to a halt. The title track is somewhat more song-shaped, with its stabbing snare beat and woozy woodwinds; it seems to be taking on conventional verse-chorus structure when it breaks apart into vibrating, shimmering atoms. The band is a duo from Brooklyn, made up of two oddball artists—Ariyan Basu and Ramin Rahni—but the tracks have the ecstatic density of large ensemble baroque pop. More is always going on than you can really absorb, and you don’t get a lot of time to get acclimated. Blink and these tracks are over. So, don’t.
Jennifer Kelly
Håvard Wiik / Tim Daisy — Slight Return (Relay)
When pandemic protections canceled all the gigs, Tim Daisy proved particularly resourceful. He turned to musicians like Ikue Mori and Vasco Trilla to respond remotely to his drumming, recorded either before or during lockdown, and realized some intriguing music that demonstrated how improvisation is not just an aesthetic stance, but a way to address life problems. But when the shots came out and the numbers went down, he returned to stages and studios, and his relish at being able to tune into an old friend is evident throughout Slight Return. The album’s name acknowledges that Daisy and Berlin-based pianist Håvard Wiik have been together before; ten years ago, to be precise. There’s a charge to this reconnection that affirms the drummer’s excitement at being able to make new music with old acquaintances once more. It sparks a restless vibe, as the two musicians shift fluidly from restrained exploration to unbridled, jointly generated fracas.
Bill Meyer
Eli Winter — A Day Behind the Deadline (Three Lobed)
Guitarist Eli Winter's latest release continues a changing path in his musical career. His early work (meaning “from four years ago”) worked through a blend of Pauline Oliveros theory and Jack Rose solo playing. He's been steadily expanding his sound since then, working with other like-minded artists to produce music that applies the same sensibility to a bigger palette. A Day Behind the Deadline gives listeners a run-down on this movement, collecting five live tracks from fall 2019 through this spring. Winter's typical intricacy in composition now brings in drummer Tyler Damon and pedal steel guitarist Sam Wagster. The collection mostly moves away from Winter's roots aside from the closing solo acoustic “The Time to Come.” The trio tend to stretch out into odd takes on rock or even Americana (though that has more to do with the pedal steel sound that with the actual song structures). A Day Behind doesn't settle as a proper album (and isn't intended to), even if it does cohere. Instead, it plays like a photo album: here's Winter in transition from his acoustic roots to something else. He comes across as restless, looking for something new, and this release fills the gap while he finds that next thing he's looking for.
Justin Cober-Lake
99Letters — Zigoku (Phantom Limb)
Osaka producer Takahiro Kinoshita AKA 99Letters returns with a new collection of industrial techno built from unrecognizable samples of traditional Japanese music. The word Zigoku evokes “Jigoku” the Japanese Buddhist hell and whilst this album is not as dark sounding as its predecessor Makafushigi, Kinoshita says its main theme is death and the afterlife. At times you recognize the tropes of the early 1980s when elements of industrial music crossed over into early electronic dance music often with global world influences, think 23 Skidoo and Clock DVA. Occasionally the cadences of Japanese music appear, a ghostly presence of traditional, folkloric myths. But in the main, Zigoku exists in its own hermeneutic world interrogating both its sources and its environment. The contrast between modernity and tradition gives Kinoshita’s music a particular tension that is constantly building as he probes cultural and philosophic cracks, seeking to capture those small wavering shafts of hope.
Andrew Forell
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feebeechanchibi · 2 years
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Ohachi~!
Get ready to sing, dance, and smile with 2.5D fairytale idol, Phoebe!
Phoebe (also known by their screen name "Feebeechanchibi") is a California-based singer, VA, and VTuber dedicated to making people smile and enchanting them on both the IRL and virtual stage with their heartwarming timbre and fairy-like vocals. Born in the U.S. and raised watching anime by Filipino parents, Phoebe is a cross-cultural blend of East and West. From a young age, Phoebe had a passion for singing, particularly Japanese music, starting their YouTube channel as an elementary schooler. A decade later, Phoebe has gone on to become a performer who is often contracted for recording, performing, and even lyric-writing work.
Phoebe is currently working to create original songs and self-produced two original EPs (Chill Bee-Ts to Buzz to and Moon Garden) and two original singles (All of My Life and Symphonic Sky) since 2020. More recently a budding voice actress, you can hear Phoebe's voice in games such as Luminous Avenger iX 2, NOISZ STΔRLIVHT, Wildfire: Ticket to Rock, and many more upcoming projects! Phoebe streams primarily comfy indie games, singing, crafts, and ASMR on their Twitch channel (@feebee).
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all of your love and support, everybee! I'll continue working my hardest to make the FeebeeHive a comfy home for you and to reach more and more people with my singing!
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thessalian · 1 year
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Thess vs TLOVM Reviews
The other day, I decided I’d go looking at the reviews for Legend of Vox Machina S2. Just ‘cos. I mean, I knew I liked it, but it’s nice to see what other people think, because I won’t say it’s perfect and it’s sometimes interesting to look at what other people think works (or doesn’t work, depending).
I gleefully noted that 97% of the reviews given in the UK were 5-stars. Lots of good commentary, both from people who’d watched the campaign and those who hadn’t. I also noted, with some interest, the five or so that gave it 1- or 2-star reviews. So I thought I’d have a look and see what they were saying.
I mean, first thing I noticed was that the things were very short and badly spelled with zero grammar and couldn’t even be bothered with capitalising the beginning of sentences. I mean, okay, if that’s how you write, go ahead, but I’m going to side-eye you a little if you’re offering critique that way. And then I read them. Obviously it did not take long.
My sheer disbelief over what I saw, however, engendered a lot of thinking of the angry, “Why do people review shit when they obviously did not actually watch the damn thing?” variety. So now I’m putting my thoughts on virtual paper.
The one that came up a lot was, “No plot”. Um. Okay, there’s a two-pronged answer to that one. I mean, S1 was “Oh fuck dragon infiltration” plus “vampire and necromancer infiltration and oh yeah they murdered one character’s entire fucking family“ plus “And now we have to deal with the demon said character allowed into his soul when he was clawing for survival and revenge after barely escaping with his life”. And when we get to S2, we get, “Oh fuck dragon infiltration was the step in a larger plan!” plus “We need serious weapons to deal with this” plus “What I Will Do To Save My Sister’s Life: A Compendium” plus “When people tell you that your sword is being an asshole, maybe LISTEN” plus “Let’s touch on the pain and tragedy of everyone’s backstory for giggles” with a topping of, “Could strange bedfellows not roofie our known allies, please? I mean-- wait; BBEG is doing what?!?” All of this sounds like plot to me, both of the personal development variety and of the “completing a mission” variety. Soooooo ... not sure where that one came from but at least four people said it. Also apparently focused more on the “sex-starved gnome” (ignoring Scanlan’s character development entirely) and “the alpha male beard guy” (and never mind that Grog has never been the dominant figure in the group and spent a whole lot of S2 showing his soft side and weaknesses - ‘alpha male’ my entire ass; it doesn’t just mean ‘big strong muscular person’ even to the assholes who believe in the term).
And then there was, “They always win; the things that they need always just appear and there’s never any feeling that they might lose”. Which is the point where I start asking, “What the fuck show did you watch?” Focusing entirely on S2 for a moment, we have:
Ep 1: Vox Machina and the entire city of Emon get their collective ass handed to them by the Chroma Conclave; Vox Machina specifically barely escape with their lives twice - once from the city itself, once from the Keep into Whitestone.
Ep 2: Mighty heroes go to Vasselheim for help, basically get told to go fuck themselves, eventually manage to get a tiny shred of information to go on after having their asses handed to them on the emotional level by a couple of spiritual know-alls.
Ep 3: Vex. Fucking. Dies. And that’s leaving out nearly getting drowned by fish people.
Ep 4: Vex is revived through her brother throwing himself into an open-ended deal with a death god, and then they all more or less get their asses handed to them on one level or another; only get out because Vax took self-sacrifice to its greatest heights.
Ep 5: “I AM VERY FLAMMABLE!” That one only gets resolved when Keyleth finally lets go of her anxieties (and if we’re talking about ‘the things we need just appearing’, if she’d figured that out when it was needed, a lot of things would have been a lot easier over the last season or so).
Ep 6: Vox Machina get their asses handed to them again, this time by sphinx. Saved again by character development and someone finally realising that not all wounds are physical ... only to get their asses handed to them yet again by black dragon asshole who takes everything they managed to earn in that entire fight - ally and Vestige. Oh, yeah, and buddy-on-buddy stabbing because of fucking evil sword, and splitting the party.
Ep 7: Both halves of the team end up crippled - Team Gnome And Goliath because weapon (and the shit Grog goes through trying to shake the curse ... and it doesn’t even really work), Team Half-Elf And Know-All because half the party ends up tripping balls. The latter has the worst of it because the two guys get their asses largely kicked by Jell-O.
Ep 8: If people got what they needed exactly when they needed it, Vex would have had even the tiniest bit of support when she was soloing an archfey - one with a fucking Vestige, no less. (The twins have shit luck and worse resistance when it comes to powerful beings making passes at them, I swear.)
Ep 9: Team Gnome and Goliath have to more or less resort to sneaking, gain some allies ... kind of, but since most of them are terrified, that’s not really a lot of help. Beyond that, the only reason they don’t get their asses kicked is because they know they’re going to get their asses kicked. ...And then Grog goes anyway because fuck that, apparently.
Ep 10: What some might call ‘convenient’ breaking of curse is honestly about the only self-reflection someone with an INT of 6 and no real WIS modifier is going to get without flash cards. Then Vox Machina throws everything they have at the enemy and it still isn’t enough. Grog had to more or less kill himself to win that one, so shut up with your “It never feels like they’ll lose”.
Ep 11: Fancy trap? Nope. Get literally inside the dragon and pin it in place from the inside? Nope. Umbrasyl kicks their entire collective ass, even with Herd of Storms and three fucking Vestiges on side.
Ep 12: I found how this one ended interesting because it’s almost a callback to how they beat Brimscythe - distract by clearly being unable to fight, then hit with whatever you’ve got left. The only reason Vox Machina defeated Umbrasyl is because most of the team got their asses kicked so hard that they bowed to what they saw as the inevitable and Scanlan used Umbrasyl’s very draconic gloating (seriously - black dragons get off on people’s pain and misery) to ... let’s think how this would work because we couldn’t see it: get close to Umbrasyl while the dragon’s distracted, climb Umbrasyl’s right front leg, undo the straps tying Mythcarver to Umbrasyl without dropping Mythcarver, take up Mythcarver so it ended up more gnome-sized, get off Umbrasyl without him noticing, climb a bit of rock debris without making enough noise to wake the dead for the sheer momentum he’d need to pull that off, and then get Umbrasyl’s attention enough so that his strike would hit the weakest point on Umbrasyl - the eye, because he had no idea if Mythcarver would cut dragon hide without a lot of weight behind it and Scanlan is a fucking gnome and thus does not have that kind of weight.
I have seen the campaign - in fact, campaign 1 is the only one I’ve seen in full. I knew they were going to come out okay up to this point. But I was still on the edge of my fucking seat on these. So anyone who’s all about “They get what they need when they need it and they never lose” ... really has not been watching this show. Vox Machina has got its collective ass kicked so many times - Brimscythe, the Briarwoods on multiple occasions, Raishan, Vorugal, half the Feywild, the Herd of Storms, Umbrasyl at least three times... They win out eventually, but honestly that makes as much sense as anything else. It’s that “It’s always in the last place you look” thing - once you’ve found it, you stop looking so it’s obviously in the ‘last’ place you look. They fight until they win or everybody’s dead. If everybody died, that is the end of the damn show. The fact that they keep repeatedly fucking up until something works is actually pretty true to life. Sometimes you need to think more; sometimes you need to think less and act on instinct. They just do the thing until something works. But that’s not instantly “getting exactly what you need when you need it”. That’s trial and error.
Honestly, the main reason everybody loves Vox Machina so much is because they remind us of ... well, ourselves. We, too, are just flailing around the place until something works. Fine, we don’t have physical dragons to deal with, but our problems feel just as big and terrifying. It’s comforting to know that if you keep at it, reaching for help wherever you can find it at a price you’re willing to pay and just never giving up, you’ll survive this.
Oh, and don’t even get me started on the ones who call Vox Machina “horrible role models” and complain about the “debauchery and crude behaviour”. It’s rated minimum 15 and maximum 18 for a fucking reason. Your kids should not be watching this, and if you’re offended by a few four-letter words and some carousing? You probably shouldn’t be watching it either. You were warned. There were warnings out the ass. Just because it’s animation doesn’t mean it’s for kids, doesn’t mean it’s going to be everyone shiny and happy and wholesome at the end talking about the power of friendship or how knowing is half the battle. We left that behind in the 80s, when cartoons were half morality play, half toy commercial. Respect the art of animation ... or at least please check the parental guidance on these things. This is like giving your kids Neon Genesis Evangelion to watch because that’s animation.
It would have been nice if the bad reviews were even remotely worthwhile? But this is ... this is just “people who didn’t actually watch the show but hate it when people have nice things”. It has to be. That or people with the situational awareness of a whelk.
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