another one that i finished months ago and just never posteddd... handstand time :)
this has alt text. extended image description under the cut.
Wei Wuxian lies on the floor of the Jingshi, his head between Lan Wangji's hands as the latter balances in a handstand. Wei Wuxian speaks cheerfully and reaches up to touch Lan Wangji's cheek, his other hand resting on his own chest. Both men are dressed in light under robes. The scene is softly glowing with warm morning light.
Watercolour on paper.
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“Homura can't stand the idea of moving on. So she's isolating madoka from everyone who's ever cared about her.” Are you fucking stupid? She literally rewrote the entire universe so that Madoka could be happy with her parents and her little brother, so that Sayaka could have another chance with Hitomi and Kyoske, so that Kyoko can have a life with Sayaka, she literally revived Mami and Nagisa and gave them a life together. What the fuck do you mean she's “isolating Madoka from everyone who's ever cared about her??”
The only person she's isolating Madoka from is herself because she knows Madoka will regain her godhood sooner ot later and she knows that her desire for Madoka and her friends to be happy will directly rebel against Madokami's rules that require Madoka to die to maintain order to the broken world that traps Magical Girls in their cycle of hope and despair, even if maintaining order means making hard choices and sacrifices, which in this case, is Madoka sacrificing herself again and again not only because she cares so much for others but because she cares so little for herself whilst Homura is the only one who can see that she's so much more than her sacrifice and that she shouldn't reduce herself to a means to an end.
She took Madoka's immortality for herself to spare her of anymore loneliness in Heaven as a trapped Goddess. She literally gave Madoka and the rest of her friends a second chance at life and you people have the audacity to just blatantly fucking lie on her to justify hating her for how she reacts to the psychological torture of having to watch the love of her life and her friends die for 12 years worth of time loops then to live in a world where no one remembers the girl she loves but her. Let something like that happen to you at the age of 14 and then come and talk to me about Homura. Idgaf that she's a fictional character. If y'all continue to treat her like a heartless monster that deserves to be “held accountable for her actions,” then I'll defend her like the traumatized 14 year old child that she actually is. Fuck off and stay away from Madoka Magica. It clearly isn't for you.
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Rocking back and forth thinking about Wyll's response to Ascended vs. Spawn Astarion returning to Baldur's Gate......
Astarion: (Ascended) I know these cobbles well. The gate to the Upper City's just ahead. I found plenty of victims on the other side of that gate. Who knew they'd all come in so useful?
Wyll: (pissed) Gods, how many did you kill? Dozens? Hundreds??!
Alternatively,
Astarion: (Spawn) All that time and what's my legacy in Baldur's Gate..? Missing friends and broken families.
Wyll: (gently) You can't undo the past, Astarion. But you can craft a better future, if you so choose.
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Long Ramble about CCCC and my overall feelings on what the album means and such
Something I find important about CCCC is like.
The fact that all three of them are, in some way, trying.
Heart is emotion, he is prone to himself and being reactionary, in the moment. Prone to the past of learned behavior and trauma. Reactive and rapidly changing. He isn't going to make pure sense because he isn't based in logic or in societal ideals or views. He is an instinctual response to the environment and circumstances. His manipulation is not intentional. He has very little control of himself in the end. Its why Mind talks about claiming to relish entropy yet clearly needing help. But, Heart in earnest wants them to be okay and safe. He believes that Mind's control will drain the life from them. It will make things monotonous and the same. Too much order.
Mind in turn, believes Heart is manipulative with intention. He wants to control Soul or wants to just drag them all down with him into this depressive state. Mind is logic, he is the reasoning out of your emotional instinct. Your inner critique, and when unchecked, that inner critique goes from a guiding hand for your emotion to one that debates and bullies it. Invalidating its responses. Ultimately, though. Mind just believes he is helping. He is doing what must be done and telling the "hard truths" to Heart. And that Heart is being the petty child. Which- I mean. Sort of sure. But Mind is definitely fucking petty and childish. He's stubborn! Prideful! So ofc he is. Admitting you're wrong? No.. why would he EVER do that.. nuh uh.
Which is what makes Light so crucial. Mind asking Heart for help- but also. There is Soul.
Who while ambiguous in purpose, is mostly that background voice. Your inner narration. If Mind is Logic and Reason then Heart is Emotion and Instinct,, Soul is all that lives between it. And he is constantly silenced or spoken over or around. He does not get a word in edgewise until TSE. He may show up in the background occasionally but as much as Heart and Mind claim to want to keep him alive and help him, they also fail to actually acknowledge what he says.
Which is that they both are right and wrong. That this fighting is doing directly what they both feared it would. Soul is desperate by the end. He is angry and resentful because.. well. Self hatred due to intense self awareness and reflection is rather ig. Common. Im not a professional here but from personal experience, you get so tired of rehashing the same shit with yourself over and over. It all feels pointless.
The only out, by the end of it all to Soul is that if they cannot be Whole, whats the point? He is desperate. He does not want to die but he feels theres no other solution.
And. About Whole, Soul throughout the album seems to want that. At the beginning, to be Whole or Harmonious is to be mentally healthy, maybe even "normal" by society's standards. To be able to put a mask over your problems and be, again, "normal". It takes the entire album for Soul to realize that this:
1. isnt possible
And
2. There isn't anything evil or wrong with him for that.
Mental health is a struggle. But you are not evil and should not be othered because you struggle. You also do not need to be fixed for being a little different and people's opinion of you is not what matters most so long as you are happy (and not hurting others. Lol).
Thats what Two Wuv is entirely about as a song. Its a "fuck you. Fuck this! I thought I needed to be this! But I DON'T. Stop telling me who I am! How to be! I'm gonna be me!"
His entire arc is parallel to Heart and Mind's and is crucial in the culmination of becoming yourself again and accepting yourself.
But, as mental health will always be, this period of respite and self acceptance is not always forever. And as life continues or as you lapse back into a depressive episode.. you cannot help but forget what it is like when you're not this way- and hell! Vice versa too! Some people have this disconnect between the periods. Where the things from the depressive state seem dramatic or obtuse to you while you are doing better. And from the other end, you just want to be happy again.. but you get so lost in it all you can struggle to feel like you've ever been happy.
The album is about the human experience. It is about self-sabotage, mental illness, self-hatred and reflection and it is, maybe more importantly about self-acceptance and healing. Having a bit of mercy on yourself. Accepting that you are imperfect and that this is okay. And whatever flaws you may have that need to be mended or worked on, can be. And that who you are, for example, if you are queer, is okay. And no one has the right to take that identity from you! That the internalized ideas of how someone should be are not always correct or right. Not for you, at least. Stuff like that.
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Another Victim?
It's fascinating how quickly some people have condoned Phaya's bursts of anger, yet Dr. Chalothon's special brand of fuckery isn't being held to the same standard as Phaya's violence, and I. Love. It.
Chalothon has chosen to fight these men without using physical violence because it makes his opponents look crazy and causes the audience to immediately judge the act of violence rather than the cause of it.
And here we are, after Chalothon said he'd rather see Tharn dead than yield to Phaya watching him repeat the same comments some people have made in their observations of Phaya's behavior.
But Chalothon is talking about Art here, not Phaya.
Yet this is the second time that Chalothon has linked symptoms from someone who is considered a risk to society with Phaya's behavior.
Which is unprofessional but also untrue considering none of the people he is speaking about were dangerous to society. The first suspects were targeting men who had gotten away with sexual assault, and both incidents that involved Art were accidents AFTER the other person assaulted him.
While.
The.
Police.
Watched.
The investigation team was there to protect the guests, yet Art being attacked wasn't a cause of concern. Maybe they thought this was another performance piece, but they only acted AFTER the blood started to show on a woman. And they only held Art down.
Because men aren't victims.
And the grandma, who stands in for society, voices this again and again. She dismissed Phaya's dreams as stress induced, and stated that people are simply losing their minds without any real reason. Much like Art's actions are being labeled as crazy without acknowledging he was assaulted. Much like Phaya bursts of anger are being examined without contributing them to Chalothon's heinous comment.
I truly believe Chalothon is directly causing ALL of these men to behave as they are and not just by his comments but through supernatural means.
Blame it on Pit Babe, but the second Chalothon put his hand on Art, it wasn't surprising that nobody stepped in to help Art even though he was crying loudly. Chalothon harmed Art. Chalothon caused Art harmed.
And they all just watched.
In the first case, the crimes were livestreamed. Art's crime turned into a performance piece, but Chalothon's touch isn't the act of violence these men connect with harm. They doubt this causes pain because this isn't an aggressive touch. Much like the the previous case, Phaya is the biggest doubter.
And this is why Chalothon is fighting Phaya in this very specific way.
Chalothon is setting up Phaya so he can publicly demonstrate that Phaya is crazy.
Because Phaya sees a distinct line between himself and the suspects of these cases, yet he has a lot more in common with them than he thinks.
They are all Chalothon's victims!
And Chalothon is making sure no one will believe him.
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