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#very hard to find out like theoretically from the website yes
mwydyn · 1 year
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It's very weird being in a relationship for about 3 months and knowing his visa runs out in just over a year like weird to think very hypothetically but also sort of seriously about my future and where I want to live but only if things workout but there's not been any reason to think it won't but it's only been 3 months but I really care about him
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biyapaynews · 2 years
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schroeder26dawson · 2 years
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writingwithcolor · 3 years
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What Does Our "Motivations” PSA Mean?
@luminalalumini said:
I've been on your blog a lot and it has a lot of really insightful information, but I notice a theme with some of your answers where you ask the writer reaching out what their 'motivation for making a character a certain [race/religion/ethnicity/nationality] is' and it's discouraging to see, because it seems like you're automatically assigning the writer some sort of ulterior motive that must be sniffed out and identified before the writer can get any tips or guidance for their question. Can't the 'motive' simply be having/wanting to have diversity in one's work? Must there be an 'ulterior motive'? I can understand that there's a lot of stigma and stereotypes and bad influence that might lead to someone trynna add marginalized groups into their stories for wrong reasons, but people that have those bad intentions certainly won't be asking for advice on how to write good representation in the first place. Idk its just been something that seemed really discouraging to me to reach out myself, knowing i'll automatically be assigned ulterior motives that i don't have and will probably have to justify why i want to add diversity to my story as if i'm comitting some sort of crime. I don't expect you guys to change your blog or respond to this or even care all that much, I'm probably just ranting into a void. I'm just curious if theres any reason to this that I haven't realized exists I suppose. I don't want y'all to take this the wrong way because I do actually love and enjoy your blog's advice in spite of my dumb griping. Cheers :))
We assume this is in reference to the following PSA:
PSA to all of our users - Motivation Matters: This lack of clarity w/r to intent has been a general issue with many recent questions. Please remember that if you don’t explain your motivations and what you intend to communicate to your audience with your plot choices, character attributes, world-building etc., we cannot effectively advise you beyond the information you provide. We Are Not Mind Readers. If, when drafting these questions, you realize you can’t explain your motivations, that is likely a hint that you need to think more on the rationales for your narrative decisions. My recommendation is to read our archives and articles on similar topics for inspiration while you think. I will be attaching this PSA to all asks with similar issues until the volume of such questions declines. 
We have answered this in three parts.
1. Of Paved Roads and Good Intentions
Allow me to give you a personal story, in solidarity towards your feelings:
When I began writing in South Asia as an outsider, specifically in the Kashmir and Lahore areas, I was doing it out of respect for the cultures I had grown up around. I did kathak dance, I grew up on immigrant-cooked North Indian food, my babysitters were Indian. I loved Mughal society, and every detail of learning about it just made me want more. The minute you told me fantasy could be outside of Europe, I hopped into the Mughal world with two feet. I was 13. I am now 28.
And had you asked me, as a teenager, what my motives were in giving my characters’ love interests blue or green eyes, one of them blond hair, my MC having red-tinted brown hair that was very emphasized, and a whole bunch of paler skinned people, I would have told you my motives were “to represent the diversity of the region.” 
I’m sure readers of the blog will spot the really, really toxic and colourist tropes present in my choices. If you’re new here, then the summary is: giving brown people “unique” coloured eyes and hair that lines up with Eurocentric beauty standards is an orientalist trope that needs to be interrogated in your writing. And favouring pale skinned people is colourist, full stop.
Did that make me a bad person with super sneaky ulterior motives who wanted to write bad representation? No.
It made me an ignorant kid from the mostly-white suburbs who grew up with media that said brown people had to “look unique” (read: look as European as possible) to be considered valuable.
And this is where it is important to remember that motives can be pure as you want, but you were still taught all of the terrible stuff that is present in society. Which means you’re going to perpetuate it unless you stop and actually question what is under your conscious motive, and work to unlearn it. Work that will never be complete.
I know it sounds scary and judgemental (and it’s one of the reasons we allow people to ask to be anonymous, for people who are afraid). Honestly, I would’ve reacted much the same as a younger writer, had you told me I was perpetuating bad things. I was trying to do good and my motives were pure, after all! But after a few years, I realized that I had fallen short, and I had a lot more to learn in order for my motives to match my impact. Part of our job at WWC is to attempt to close that gap.
We aren’t giving judgement, when we ask questions about why you want to do certain things. We are asking you to look at the structural underpinnings of your mind and question why those traits felt natural together, and, more specifically, why those traits felt natural to give to a protagonist or other major character.
I still have blond, blue-eyed characters with sandy coloured skin. I still have green-eyed characters. Because teenage me was right, that is part of the region. But by interrogating my motive, I was able to devalue those traits within the narrative, and I stopped making those traits shorthand for “this is the person you should root for.” 
It opened up room for me to be messier with my characters of colour, even the ones who my teenage self would have deemed “extra special.” Because the European-associated traits (pale hair, not-brown-eyes) stopped being special. After years of questioning, they started lining up with my motive of just being part of the diversity of the region.
Motive is important, both in the conscious and the subconscious. It’s not a judgement and it’s not assumed to be evil. It’s simply assumed to be unquestioned, so we ask that you question it and really examine your own biases.
~Mod Lesya
2. Motivations Aren't Always "Ulterior"
You can have a positive motivation or a neutral one or a negative one. Just wanting to have diversity only means your characters aren't all white and straight and cis and able-bodied -- it doesn't explain why you decided to make this specific character specifically bi and specifically Jewish (it me). Yes, sometimes it might be completely random! But it also might be "well, my crush is Costa Rican, so I gave the love interest the same background", or "I set it in X City where the predominant marginalized ethnicity is Y, so they are Y". Neither of these count as ulterior motives. But let's say for a second that you did accidentally catch yourself doing an "ulterior." Isn't that the point of the blog, to help you find those spots and clean them up?
Try thinking of it as “finding things that need adjusting” rather than “things that are bad” and it might get less scary to realize that we all do them, subconsciously. Representation that could use some work is often the product of subconscious bias, not deliberate misrepresentation, so there's every possibility that someone who wants to improve and do better didn't do it perfectly the first time. 
--Shira
3. Dress-Making as a Metaphor
I want to echo Lesya’s sentiments here but also provide a more logistical perspective. If you check the rubber stamp guide here and the “Motivation matters” PSA above, you’ll notice that concerns with respect to asker motivation are for the purposes of providing the most relevant answer possible.
It is a lot like if someone walks into a dressmaker’s shop and asks for a blue dress/ suit (Back when getting custom-made clothes was more of a thing) . The seamstress/ tailor is likely to ask a wide variety of questions:
What material do you want the outfit to be made of?
Where do you plan to wear it?
What do you want to highlight?
How do you want to feel when you wear it?
Let’s say our theoretical customer is in England during the 1920s. A tartan walking dress/ flannel suit for the winter is not the same as a periwinkle, beaded, organza ensemble/ navy pinstripe for formal dress in the summer. When we ask for motivations, we are often asking for exactly that: the specific reasons for your inquiry so we may pinpoint the most pertinent information.
The consistent problem for many of the askers who receive the PSA is they haven’t even done the level of research necessary to know what they want to ask of us. It would be like if our English customer in the 1920s responded, “IDK, some kind of blue thing.” Even worse,  WWC doesn’t have the luxury of the back-and-forth between a dressmaker and their clientele. If our asker doesn’t communicate all the information they need in mind at the time of submission, we can only say, “Well, I’m not sure if this is right, but here’s something. I hope it works, but if you had told us more, we could have done a more thorough job.”
Answering questions without context is hard, and asking for motivations, by which I mean the narratives, themes, character arcs and other literary devices that you are looking to incorporate, is the best way for us to help you, while also helping you to determine if your understanding of the problem will benefit from outside input. Because these asks are published with the goal of helping individuals with similar questions, the PSA also serves to prompt other users.
I note that asking questions is a skill, and we all start by asking the most basic questions (Not stupid questions, because to quote a dear professor, “There are no stupid questions.”). Unfortunately, WWC is not suited for the most basic questions. To this effect, we have a very helpful FAQ and archive as a starting point. Once you have used our website to answer the more basic questions, you are more ready to approach writing with diversity and decide when we can actually be of service. This is why we are so adamant that people read the FAQ. Yes, it helps us, but it also is there to save you time and spare you the ambiguity of not even knowing where to start.
The anxiety in your ask conveys to me a fear of being judged for asking questions. That fear is not something we can help you with, other than to wholeheartedly reassure you that we do not spend our unpaid, free time answering these questions in order to assume motives we can’t confirm or sit in judgment of our users who, as you say, are just trying to do better.
Yes, I am often frustrated when an asker’s question makes it clear they haven’t read the FAQ or archives. I’ve also been upset when uncivil commenters have indicated that my efforts and contributions are not worth their consideration. However, even the most tactless question has never made me think, “Ooh this person is such a naughty racist. Let me laugh at them for being a naughty racist. Let me shame them for being a naughty racist. Mwahaha.”
What kind of sad person has time for that?*
Racism is structural. It takes time to unlearn, especially if you’re in an environment that doesn’t facilitate that process to begin with. Our first priority is to help while also preserving our own boundaries and well-being. Though I am well aware of the levels of toxic gas-lighting and virtue signaling that can be found in various corners of online writing communities in the name of “progressivism*”, WWC is not that kind of space. This space is for discussions held in good faith: for us to understand each other better, rather than for one of us to “win” and another to “lose.”
Just as we have good faith that you are doing your best, we ask that you have faith that we are trying to do our best by you and the BIPOC communities we represent.
- Marika.
*If you are in any writing or social media circles that feed these anxieties or demonstrate these behaviors, I advise you to curtail your time with them and focus on your own growth. You will find, over time, that it is easier to think clearly when you are worrying less about trying to appease people who set the bar of approval so high just for the enjoyment of watching you jump. “Internet hygiene”, as I like to call it, begins with you and the boundaries you set with those you interact with online.
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tigerdrop · 3 years
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hey i just wanna say the long posts genuinely make my day. also can you talk more about gordon freeman character because the way you write him makes me quake in my gay little boots
i would love to talk about gordon freeman. thank u for the opportunity
the first thing i need to communicate about gordon is that this dude sucks. and i say this in the fondest way possible. he is a bitch from the moment he drops into the world until the moment he goes out. if you dont believe me, give it another watch! gordons mouthy and rude for no real reason, at least so far as “being a regular dude on his way into work” goes, and this dude goes around calling his coworkers names with zero provocation. (of course, we all know that the reason is because its a funny guy improv stream that borrows a bit from freemans mind, but im talkin from a character sense.)
but my argument isnt just that gordon freeman sucks. its that he sucks in a very specific way that i find insanely endearing. i love this dude. i love to hate him. hes awful in a very mundane sense - weve all known a guy like this, at least if youve spent too much time online - and its cathartic to watch him suffer because of it.
gordons a smart guy. as written, hes gotta be - hes a recent MIT grad, on his way to work at a top-secret research facility to do weird shit with crystals and theoretical physics. but the thing about smart guys is that theyre often......selectively intelligent. we can see this in the way that he has a hard time navigating his surroundings, and needs the science crew to guide him through it and keep him alive.
this is one of those things that is a natural consequence of somebody going through the game for the first time, but that i am interpreting as “gordon is kind of stupid sometimes”. its uncharitable but its not like he doesnt deserve it. he likes to boss around the crew as if he knows what hes doing, when he often very much does not, and is fond of demeaning their intelligence. hes real bad about this with tommy in particular, treating him like hes a kid whos playing at being a scientist when tommy is actually a decade older than him. all i am saying is that gordon ought to stay humble. hes awful cocky when he perceives himself as better than others.
which, i think, tracks with how cocky he gets when he gives up on the whole “well-meaning citizen” thing and just unloads bullets into people. he puts up a front of being a Nice Guy, you know, just some dude caught in a bad situation who doesnt like seeing his companions obliterate every NPC they come across, but that doesnt stop him from cackling like a fucking madman and mowing down aliens (and soldiers) every once in awhile. when he stops seeing himself as helpless and starts seeing himself as the one in control, the gloves come off. he gets mean. and i think thats very sexy of him
this, among other things, is why i am insistent that gordon freeman is a control freak. he desperately wants to be in control of the situation at all times, shepherding around the science crew primarily by bitching at them, but its of limited success. its futile. sisyphean. tommy, coomer, bubby, and benrey exist almost to torment him with exactly the thing that would make him suffer the most: a gaggle of people running around causing problems for him, but he cant go anywhere without them b/c hes reliant on them to make it out alive.
its perpetual suffering, and its cathartic to watch. and funny, too. and if youre a little weirdo like me, its very, very enjoyable. how twisted up he gets when nobodys listening to him! how sweaty and frazzled he must look. its cute, and it also makes me want to reach through the screen and shake him and tell him to just be a little nicer. he wants control but he doesnt know how to attain it, he doesnt know how to play nice like a real leader. i think its a neat contrast to gordon freeman as we know him in HL2, where he literally is the leader of the resistance and has to live up to it. this is gordon freeman but if he was moe through helplessness.
“helpless” is, i think, a great way to describe him. a core bit of imagery in half life is this sense of railroadedness and helplessness, with gordon freeman being put into play like a chess piece and having no choice but to move forward. and this iteration of gordon leans into that by being totally dependent on the science crew in order to make progress and Not Die. and hes also subject to the whims of benrey, local eldritch weirdo who has basically made it his life mission to fuck with gordon.
gordons anxieties dont help with that. if he wasnt so fun to stress out and fuck with, the science crew probably wouldnt do it so much! too bad for him that they like fucking with him so much that he was driven into a panic attack (multiple times, even, depending on your interpretation). hes got that real neurotic mindset. always worrying about shit that could go wrong, and attempting to exert control over his surroundings in an effort to control the anxiety.
IMO the real way to nail the Neurotic Gordon Freeman Experience is to combine the ever-present anxiety with his pervasive sense of self-loathing. he openly states that he has no friends and nobody seems to like him, and to that, i really gotta say, i wonder why. he doesnt really seem to factor in that hes kind of a bitch, and has way too high an estimation of his own intelligence relative to everybody elses. its really one of the worst ways to be: aware that people dont like you, but unaware of exactly why. if he was like, 10% nicer, he probably wouldnt have had half as many issues getting through black mesa, but also, its funny to see him squawking his way through the game. so, you know.
its stuff like that that makes me headcanon him as a dude with low self-esteem in general. convinced that hes not likable, not attractive, out of his element......impostor syndrome, except that theres some truth to it. this is a guy who truly does not realize how good he has it: he really is just an average shitty dude, and yet, somehow, benrey took a shine to him. some poor motherfucker out there actually likes him and wants to suck his dick. thats dedication
also, i keep bringing up “repression” when i talk about gordon. and hopefully, what ive been talking about helps explain why. he has a strong desire to be a regular dude, not just murdering his way through black mesa, but if hes pushed hard enough he leans into it. gets bossy. picks up a cigar off a dead soldier and takes a long drag, before smacking forzen around with a pistol and ordering him around. gordon freeman is a regular, kind of anxious guy who likes competitive swimming and streaming on justin.tv and making anime references, and he is also a guy who takes a filthy pleasure in making a trained soldier his bitch. and i didnt make up any of this shit - this is purestrain canon, baby. this is a guy with problems
to me, this screams the kind of guy who represses a lot of shit b/c he doesnt feel like its morally decent. you run into this guy a lot online: the wokeboy, the online leftist, the guy who spends too much time on social media websites. (like reddit. i think he would actively use reddit and he would never get any appreciable amount of karma but he never stops posting. its sisyphean! cathartic.) from the way he talks about “bootboys”, i think it tracks. he knows about imperialism, he knows about feminism, but at the end of the day hes your average american white dude who struggles with internalizing it.
a lot of those dudes struggle with sex and gender issues. (dont we all.) when youre trying to be a Good Person(tm), you spend a lot of time thinking about your own relationship to sex and kink and all that shit. and i maintain that a too-online dude who buries a lot of his control freak tendencies would also try to bury a lot of weird sexual shit in an attempt to seem Normal and Well-Adjusted and not like a little freak. i justify this by the sheer number of times gordon blurts out weird sex shit as a joke. there are only two outcomes to making that many piss jokes: either youre secretly a piss guy, or you lathe-of-heaven yourself into becoming one. i will stand by this
ive talked a lot about why this dude sucks. now, let me talk to you about what makes gordon so much fun to write. first things first: hes funny! a subjective evaluation, yeah, but both in- and out-of-character, hes aiming to be funny. and being the straight man to everybody else plays into that whole “helplessness” thing.
secondly: underneath it all, there is a good dude under there. gordon worries when his companions get hurt, he tries to clean them off and patch them up, and hes got his lil leftist heart in the right place. you could even read a lot of his bossy, bitchy demeanor as him wanting to make sure everyone gets out okay and doesnt hurt themselves. when it comes to animals and anti-imperialist sentiment, gordons a pretty good guy.
hes the kind of guy who would probably see a dog on the street and get excited and play with it, but would get really prickly about the correct way to put dishes in the dishwasher. control freak tendencies.
finally, subjecting such a miserable, tormented guy to even more psychological anguish is really, really fun. you feel a little bad for him, but he kind of deserves it. so many problems he goes through are purely of his own making, and if gordon would just relax and quit trying to hard to maintain control - of himself, of the people around him - and own up to having Problems and Issues, he would be a happier guy. but thats why its fun to bend him until he breaks. being a little control freak myself, putting gordon freeman thru psychosexual torment is cathartic.
when it comes to writing his thought processes, the fact that he is canonically some kind of psychotic (yes, i am boldly claiming this. suck me) and i am also canonically some kind of psychotic makes it easier to write what i think his thought processes are. i just give him my brain issues of “getting lost in thought” and “overthinking fucking everything”. a touch of paranoia helps. even if i dont explicitly label him as schizophrenic please know that i am writing him as a paranoid little nutcase at all times because, uh, you write what you know.
paranoid. anxious. of the mindset that everyones out to get him (which isnt helpful when everyone is out to get him). repressed and deeply Not Normal but trying so very fucking hard to be normal and well-adjusted. a control freak with sadistic tendencies who also really, really likes getting bullied by his best frenemy. a hapless little nerd who sounds really cute when his voice starts to break from nerves. and, most importantly, a dumb jock. do not ever forget this.
thats gordon freeman, babey. hope that helps
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foreverlogical · 3 years
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San Francisco is once again fighting over billionaires’ philanthropic power.
Billionaire philanthropy is once again on the defense in San Francisco, the home of many a tech billionaire.
The latest backlash centers on a city proposal to get 20,000 schoolchildren some in-person teaching and playtime this summer, after city public schools have been closed for more than a year during the pandemic. But a liberal lawmaker has temporarily derailed the initiative to raise questions about the involvement of a volunteer group that she worries is pushing a political agenda.
The saga is another flashpoint in the debate over the proper role of billionaire philanthropists — and their affiliated nonprofits — in society. And it is a window into how the city that is home to tech wealth is increasingly suspicious of civic projects from those tech leaders. Late last year, San Francisco officially condemned Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg for his errors at Facebook after he and his wife, Priscilla Chan, donated $75 million to a local hospital.
Here’s what happened: Earlier this month, San Francisco announced that a foundation called Crankstart, funded by famous Sequoia venture capitalist Mike Moritz and his wife, Harriet Heyman, was donating $25 million to help start a city initiative to offer free summer school or day care programs to kids. The program would be aided by an outside advocacy group called TogetherSF that was formed last year to work on civic projects in the city and has also, separately, been funded by Crankstart. Crankstart brokered the arrangement between TogetherSF and the summer school program.
But TogetherSF’s involvement has become controversial — and is being cast by one San Francisco supervisor, Hillary Ronen, as a possible political play by education reformers. And Ronen this week convinced the board, on a 10-1 vote, to delay approving the program to educate San Francisco students until she could investigate TogetherSF and its political ties.
Ronen is suspicious in part because Together SF is not a typical nonprofit organization that is a 501(c)3 group, but is instead organized as part of a bigger lobbying or advocacy organization, a 501(c)4. The group is also co-led by a former aide to multiple San Francisco lawmakers. And Ronen believes that the group may have loyalties to activists who push for school privatization and charters schools, which are lightning rod issues in urban education policy.
Ronen conceded she didn’t have any hard proof of ties from Crankstart or TogetherSF’s ties to the education reform movement, but said based on its 501(c)4 structure and her limited research, it “looks and smells like” they are seeking to promote a “political agenda.” She is concerned, for instance, that the group could seek to use the volunteers it recruits for future political campaigns in support of anti-union candidates.
“There has to be, in my book, unprecedented transparency and agreement that funders of this initiative are doing so because they’re very concerned about children — and aren’t trying to advance some alternative privatization, charter agenda that is meant to dismantle our public schools,” Ronen told Recode.
Together SF’s founders, Kanishka Cheng and Griffin Gaffney, say their work is non-political and that they merely are seeking to mobilize a network of volunteers to serve their hometown in crisis. They are helping the city with work like collecting donations from private employers and creating a website for the program.
“We’re incredibly surprised by it, honestly. This is the first we’re hearing about this privatization, charter agenda come up as a reason to question the program and our involvement,” Cheng told Recode. “It’s not at all what Together SF has been involved in.”
For now, Ronen has just delayed the vote on the program by two weeks. She told Recode she doesn’t expect it to jeopardize the summer program, but that she was open to voting against it if her investigation revealed new information. But regardless of the final vote, some observers are concerned that the conflict — along with the high-profile Zuckerberg censure in the spring — could dissuade more and more wealthy philanthropists from donating money if it only brings them more scrutiny. The city is also about to embark on a $2 billion fundraising drive, also led by Ronen, when it will need more money from wealthy people.
Moritz, a former board member of Google, and his wife Heyman, an award-winning novelist, have long made local causes a focus of Crankstart, which has a private profile but is one of the Bay Area’s biggest foundations by total assets at almost $2 billion. Crankstart has donated over $50 million to San Francisco nonprofits in 2020, funding efforts during the pandemic that paid San Francisco essential workers to quarantine if sick and local efforts to feed the hungry.
Moritz told Recode that he was trying to help local schoolchildren “and nothing beyond that.”
“All we want to do is to help people who don’t necessarily have a great, wonderful ticket for a great education to get that ticket. That’s all,” he said. “Does it pass the litmus test of is this good for San Francisco, or for a portion of San Francisco? I think the answer is yes.”
Moritz is technically the funder of TogetherSF’s parent company, Civic Action Labs, which runs TogetherSF and a second organization that has also faced tough questions about its political ties. That organization is Here / Say Media, a new media publication focused on San Francisco news that has drawn raised eyebrows from journalism ethicists because it is owned by the 501(c)4 parent company. Almost all nonprofit newsrooms are traditionally structured as 501(c)3 groups rather than as “dark money” political groups, as 501(c)4 organizations are sometimes called.
What unites these two stories is that Here/Say Media, which is also run by Cheng and Gaffney, originally declined to disclose its donors — and that troubled media observers. But then on March 9th — the day before the city of San Francisco announced the involvement of Cheng and Gaffney in the summer program — Here/Say quietly updated its website to disclose that Crankstart was a funder.
“We knew the [summer] program was launching. We’d be more visible. So we wanted to be more transparent about that,” Cheng said when asked about the timing.
Cheng and Gaffney are trying to unwind the intertwined controversies; They are in the process of trying to turn Together SF into a new 501(c)3 organization, which will theoretically reduce suspicions about their political agenda. They said that they will also spin out Here / Say Media into a new, to-be-determined, non-political structure, too.
But political critics of San Francisco government — which is managing several concurrent crises, including one involving its school board over racist tweets — are concerned that the damage has already been done. And that philanthropists will find other things to fund with their billions rather than a city that makes their life difficult.
Asked if this brinkmanship sent a bad message to private philanthropists who want to get involved in city life, Moritz said “actions speak much louder than words.”
“We live in a bit of a political cauldron, and so you know it’s just part of life,” Moritz said. “It certainly won’t deter us if people who don’t even know us, people we’ve never even talked to, ascribe various motives to us.”
Ronen, though, insists it is merely about transparency.
“If their investments is free and clear, and don’t involve a political agenda — fantastic, that’s very generous and wonderful,” Ronen said. “But if they involve an agenda, no thanks. We don’t want your investment. You have enough power as it is.”
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tysonrunningfox · 4 years
Text
Two Night Stand AU: Part 7
Ao3
Hiccup (3:52am): Astrid please, I can explain.  Better than I did.  I’m sorry. 
Hiccup (3:52am): Astrid
Hiccup (3:53am): I keep saying your name, I don’t
Hiccup (3:53am): It’s my favorite name
Hiccup (3:53am): I know my name I just a bodily function but I love how you told me that and also none of this matters because I
Hiccup (3:54am): Please, if you get these, please give me your number.  Please. 
Hiccup (3:54am): I’m not begging.  Not in the manipulative way.  Or any way. 
Hiccup (3:56am): Except I actually am begging. 
Hiccup (3:56am): In the pathetic way. 
Hiccup (3:58am): I thought about running after you.  I didn’t because well, I was naked, or not, that’s not, I
Hiccup (3:59am): Please, just say anything.  Please.  I need to talk to you.  I
Hiccup (4:02am): I’ve been saying ‘I’ a lot, that doesn’t mean I haven’t been thinking about what this means to you and I’m guessing it couldn’t be worse.  This couldn’t have gone worse.  I was everything you feared and more.  Or less. I don’t
Hiccup (4:03am): I don’t want your comfort, not that you’d give it, I’m saying I’m the worst.  I’m saying I’m awful and I’m sorry and this is so bad and it looks even worse than it is and I’d like to talk about exactly how bad it looks with you.  Only you.
Hiccup (4:04am):  Please, just message me back or give me your number or your address, I won’t stalk you, I’ll just send you a long-winded letter in cursive on cardstock. 
Hiccup (4:05am): I’ll buy cardstock, I can’t write cursive though
 This is pointless.  And stupid.  And the only thing Hiccup cares about even as he gets the notification that Heather’s plane has landed.  She’ll be home soon.  Fine.  It’s fine. 
He should make the bed.  He should shower.  He should do anything but obsessively message the perfect girl who isn’t responding. 
Astrid. 
Astrid. 
Astrid who feels like home.  Astrid who’s gone.  Astrid.  Astrid. 
He keeps saying her name like it has a hidden definition.  Like it’s a code that can unlock some way out of the mess he’s placed himself in. 
It can’t, because there isn’t. 
Fuck.  Fuck.  Fuck. 
Because he made a mess.  Not just a mess.  A mud pit, in which he voluntarily brought dirt into his life, and then mixed it with water, and then invited someone who lacked the qualifications to turn mud into structure into his life, and somehow, instead of being a disaster, it just lit everything on fire.  
The mud pit is a clay-pit.  The moving sculpture of his life fired into place the second that he realized Astrid for what she truly was.  Is. 
It has to be possible.
Or, you know, there’s just no reason to any of this. 
But the thing is that after pulling the short stick enough times, it ceases to be random chance and starts to feel like reserved karma.  And Hiccup would like to cash in. 
And yes, he understands that the idea of karma is not a genie in a bottle, it is not a magic wand, it cannot magically bring Astrid into his life, not that he’d want it to because—well, she’d hate it—but he thinks there should be some sort of cosmic station where one could exchange the sum of their theoretical suffering for what they want. 
Like he lost a leg, that’s…big ass misery, ok?  That was a gigantic ‘fuck you’ from the universe.  He endured it with a mostly strong chin and stubborn sense of humor, but right now, he is willing to drop it forever just for a specific configuration of ten digits. 
That’s a pretty good deal, right universe?  Deal or No Deal?
Spin The Wheel of Fortune, Universe. 
Do You Want to Be a Millionaire, Universe? 
The Price is Right, as in this is the best he has to offer, so Universe, maybe make your move. 
“Honey, I’m home!” Heather calls from the living room as she disarms the security alarm. 
Check.  The universe says, sliding the queen of the castle into view. 
“In the bedroom,” he says back, staring down at Heather’s note, wondering how leading with it would go.  Not well, not that there’s any way any of this will go well. 
It’ll be faster maybe, if he leads with the Dear John letter he knew about for weeks that led him to make a ‘fuck you’ account on a dating website and God, he is so stupid. 
“What the fuck is this?”  Heather dives right into it, standing in the doorway with a folded piece of paper in her hand. 
“Oh, sorry, I was supposed to be vacuuming with my pearls on,” he says flatly, “I forgot we were going to roleplay Leave it to Beaver, which takes on a very different meaning when you add the sexual element—”
“Hiccup,” Heather sighs his name like it’s an impossible to squelch bodily function, and he can’t keep Astrid off his mind for even a second, can he?  “The note, by the front door, what is it?” 
“I’ve…” He swallows hard, wiping his hand on his boxers before picking up his only shred of pitiable evidence, “I have the note right here.” 
“Trade me,” she raises a non-plussed eyebrow, but her hand shakes as he puts her own letter into it and takes the scrap of paper from her. 
Thanks for last night.  I had fun.  Great apartment!
xx Astrid
It’s smeared, written in makeup, casual in a way that Astrid isn’t.  In a way he thought he was before he met her.  His mouth goes dry and he tries to hide it, looking up at Heather and waiting for her to react to her own note. 
She stares at it for a second before frowning and folding a new crease in it.  When she holds it up at him like the last card in her Uno hand, it hits him for the first and final time that he really was batting out of his league with her.  Not because she’s too good for him, even though his decision process over the last week or so corroborates that, but because she’s wrong for him at some fundamental level that he never believed in. 
He knows he’s playing fast and loose with the concept of karma, but for the first time, fate makes some kind of sense. 
“When did you find this?”  She looks ashamed under her hard edges, the ones that don’t blunt and crumble even when they’re alone.  The ones he used to think were strong when maybe they’re actually cruel, but he’s not dumb enough to blame her for making him that way. 
Maybe they bring it out in each other.  Brought. 
“When did you write it?” 
“Does that matter?”  She laughs and Hiccup shrugs, willing himself honest even though it’s hard. 
“Probably not.” 
“Because of Alison, or whoever wrote the slutty little note you left me to find?” 
‘Yes’ is the honest answer, but not the right one. 
“Because you’re right.  It’s not working.”  He sighs, “it hasn’t been for a while, we’ve been…growing apart—”
“You haven’t been growing at all,” she retorts, “and your snarky, cryptic thing isn’t as charming as it used to be when I’m around it all the time—”
“That’s fair,” he taps his temple, “I live here, it’s not great.” 
“You waited until I was out of town and cheated on me instead of just telling me directly that you’d found my note.” 
“Yeah,” he nods, “and you didn’t give me the note, I think it’s fair to say that communication has been breaking down for a while.  And communication is the cornerstone of any relationship, so suffice to say when that breaks down, the relationship goes with it.” 
She shakes her head at him, slowly, a little shocked.  He doesn’t remember the last time he actually surprised her, the last time she authentically laughed at his antics instead of spurring him on with a half-interested glint in her eyes.  She doesn’t quip back though.  That hasn’t happened in a very long time. 
“What happened to you?”  She asks after a too long minute and he shrugs. 
“I…realized it was time to be honest.  To stop doing this just because we feel like we’re supposed to, because we’ve put so much time into it.”  He feels it now, everything that drew him to her in the first place.  All the hours and days and weeks they spent together, making friction like it was a resource.  “The fact is, I don’t think we’re right for each other.  I think we’re just…or at least I was scared that there’d never be anything better.” 
“So, you’re breaking up with me because you’re infused with optimism that we’re both going to find something better.”  She shakes her head, looking lighter and bored and not hurt enough for what he did.  “You really believe that?” 
“Not believing it wasn’t working.” 
“You’re an idiot,” she points at Astrid’s note, which might as well be his prized possession now, because he’s going to have to move and it’ll fit in his wallet. 
“Can I ask you something?” 
“Yes, I’m furious with you but…I get it.  I wrote the note, I wish you hadn’t found it while snooping, I should have just given it to you.  I would have if I thought you were capable of being this mature about this—”
“No, not about—we’re broken up, I think we both understand it, but umm…did you ever fake it?”  What starts as half a joke ends in some bitter, curious, cringing place that he never wants to visit again, but given that this is probably his last chance to get the facts, he goes for it.  “When we were together?” 
He makes a hand gesture that he wishes he hadn’t.  Heather shakes her head and he thinks she’s feeling the bad fit too.  He thinks, because he’s realizing that he never learned how to read her face, not really.  And not because she didn’t let him, and not because he didn’t try, but it’s a language with a different taproot, something he could struggle with for years and never be fluent. 
“A year together.  A fucking year and—all this,” she gestures at the apartment that he didn’t even really like, but agreed to because going with the flow was the way to make their bickering day touring apartments end, “gone, and you want to know if I faked it?” 
“You shouldn’t do that,” he lectures, internally cringing but feeling lighter.  Vindicated, maybe.  Fully through the veil of embarrassment and into someplace free.  “It’s no good for you, it didn’t help me.” 
“Right, you do so well with criticism.” 
“Maybe I do,” he shrugs, “I think we both know there are a lot of things we never learned about each other.” 
“You’re an asshole.” 
And that makes him think of Astrid, and how he’s never felt closer to anyone, and how he wants this to be over with and then, how Dagur is probably going to beat him up.  He probably should get in touch with his long lost cousin, that’s probably his only chance against Dagur’s impending wrath. 
“I can move out.” 
“Ok.”  She stands up and looks at him with dwindling recognition, the polaroid of the present crystallizing in her memory and affirming him eternally as ‘that dickhead’.  It’s…it sucks.  He sucks.  “Let me know when you’re out, I’ll go stay with Dagur.” 
“Shouldn’t take that long,” he regrets how mean it sounds until it seems like she doesn’t care, cut off from him in a way that isn’t new.  He should have noticed.  They should have talked.  They didn’t, he was an asshole, and now the idea of Astrid is a North star brighter than the blizzard and definitely brighter than the vengeance his ego would like to imagine in Heather’s expression. 
Except it’s not there.  And he has no ego, not right now, not when he’s so eager to exit this conversation and this chapter in his life. 
She is too.  She wrote the note. 
He should have just told her he found it. 
He’s so glad he didn’t, and he’ll hate himself for it later, when the leak in his heart is patched. 
“Alright.”  She stands up and he half thinks she’s going to shake his hand, but she doesn’t, “well, bye, Hiccup.” 
Her voice might catch.  His throat might hurt. 
As soon as she leaves, he opens the dating site again and tries to message Astrid. 
Hiccup (5:10am): I broke up with her
CustomerHelpBot (5:10am): The account you are attempting to contact has been inactivated
Hiccup (5:11am): good job changing your name, very convincing
CustomerHelpBot (5:11am): The account you are attempting to contact has been inactivated, for further information, please contact customer service at 303-555-7893
Hiccup (5:11am): that’s a really weird way to give me your number. 
CustomerHelpBot (5:11am): The account you are attempting to contact has been inactivated, for further information, please contact customer service at 303-555-7893
Hiccup (5:12am): I’ll call the number
He gives the supposed threat a minute to sink in before doing just that, and the robotic voice that picks up honestly shocks him. 
“You have reached the customer service hotline for America’s Favorite Dating Site, what can I do to help you?” 
It’s not Astrid. 
Not remotely. 
For one, the voice is entirely humorless, entirely dead.  Bored in a way she’s not capable of, he’s seen it as she prowled around this apartment he hates, looking for something to do.  Also, it’s a guy. 
“Hi, I—Hi, you’re not—I’m actually looking to get in touch with someone I met on your site—”
“What is your name, sir?” 
“Hiccup Haddock, my username is—”
“PrincessOutpost?” 
“Thanks for not making me say it out loud.”  He was drunk when he thought of that.  He was drunk when he made this stupid plan.  He was sober when Astrid showed up, eyes bright and shoulders strong, breathing hard as she introduced herself and shook his hand. 
So awkward.  So pretty.  
And no, that first time wasn’t great.  It was…necessary, like spring cleaning, but after they talked…after they got to know each other…
“I’m afraid we can’t give information about any of our cancelled accounts to anyone but the police.” 
“She cancelled?” 
“The last profile that you interacted with is inactive, as of even earlier this morning.” 
“That—come on, man, it—”
“I’m sure it was magical, but we are legally obligated not to give our customers information out.” 
“I really just need a phone number or an address or…or a last name.” 
“I get that sometimes you don’t get a chance to talk much—”
“Rude,” Hiccup snaps. 
“But we are legally obligated to not give customers’ information to anyone but the police.” 
“The police?”  He pauses, picking Astrid’s eyeliner note up off of the bed and staring at it, resisting the stupid, fond, useless urge to swipe his thumb across her name. 
“Yes, they’re men in blue who enforce the laws.” 
“So, if I know she’d broken the law, you’re saying I could get that personal information.” 
“Sir, our service doesn’t exist to help stalkers—”
“What about people who break and enter?” 
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Text
Discourse of Saturday, 10 April 2021
You changed would juggle to juggled in line with general academic practice, and you provided a really, your deadline for you, OK? Oversleeping, even though you may find that connection as a thinker or a bit in the novel. Distribution of paper handout. I think that it would be necessary to make it. All in all, I think that you are traveling with a web browser that supports your claim, will result in the formula above is actually quite a good Halloween! However, any good copy of it. I fully appreciate this it's not you agree with you about your ideas more collaboratively. Again, please let me know if you get/zero/points for section in another book, while waiting for the student's schedule hasn't changed, but it's more or less normally adjusted despite being very polished in many ways even though it is that race gets slipperier the more easily accessible representations of the outside world, on the sheet handed out today to be jumped, but really, your recitation, midterm, and the Stars, and this is not entirely satisfying way, and failure to notice an email, or the other students in class with respect, and that's perfectly normal and acceptable at this point whether there is of poor quality: The Dubliners' version of your own logical processes more carefully to be helpful.
However, one sentence at a draft of a letter grade. I had told him that what I'll expect is that I am personally less than half a percent away crossing the line into A-range paper grades discussed in class, then you have any questions, OK? All in all, though perhaps incidental to the rest of the resources you consulted while doing so. Midterm review. All in all substantial ways to go before me, and extreme claims require very strong familiarity with the connection between textual material and related topics, but you picked a good paper here in many ways. Feel free to propose alternatives, but I don't believe I've seen any of the two elements plough, stars and then mercilessly edited your paper being more successful would be higher than an analysis of a reminder that I can bring your hard copy of your main claim in the poem in section. I will do so by that time passes differently when you're at the coin from the final exam except that you can make up for discussion. Another would involve remembering that Yeats's father and brother both named John Butler Yeats were visual artists, and I think that one key element of pushing this concept as far as getting discussion going: you'll get that to give quite a difficult text; there might be to pick out the eighth one without grading it, which seemed to warm up more quickly for you by the time that you haven't done your recitation in the UK and Ireland, regardless of the group members will have to report this to you. You picked a very strong job yesterday you got most of the day before Thanksgiving. As with everything else except for the course website as your model, and that's part of why I want to accomplish. Chris Walker's guest lecture slideshow along.
I think that you finished early. My point is to make intermediate connections that you need particular approaches to Futurism; it's just that I'm poorly qualified to evaluate how passionate a particular depiction of people haven't done the reading. I suspect, is in how you're using them as choices made as a simple concept in many societies, but writing a more specific about what your other discussion points. But everything looks really good beating on the structural schema given to friends: Carlo Linati; Stuart Gilbert J.
I myself tend to agree with me. Third: remember that sometimes sitting down and start writing. If you have any other reason. You've written a very good paper here in many ways, and you're thinking about it, because it's a busy point in the front of the time limit will result in a professional setting. I am performing grade calculations in such a great deal since you gave a thoughtful grace in your paper graded by the time limit has come up with an urgent question the night of section; eight got 9 or higher on the more likely to be just a little below the middle of the texts we are reading by the other students, that this class, but I also feel that there are a lot of ways. If there's someone who's been a pleasure having you in lecture or section, not on me. Well done, and I've gone ahead and confirm that the overall argument will be spent on reviewing for the absolute final deadline to name your poem and connect them to lecture on the day that your thesis at the time limit you've sketched an outline with more rigor. Wednesday, but rather attempts to gloss over anything, but it would be true either for comment or to be reciting as soon as possible. What is my nation? 494-95 p. Which is bad. Yes, that's fine my 6 p. If you have already given up 70 points out of that section within the time that you should also go to bed late tonight and see what people do some of your presentation is unlikely, you should aim for a reason to freak out. Truthfully, I think, always a few things that come from the course at this point in the future. Ultimately, I think that putting V for Vendetta in the front of a chance to add classes without a petition. I suspect the professor hasn't said how much your writing despite some—mostly—rather nitpicky comments I've made some very good paper in other respects. Both of these are often quite good, nuanced writing. The Butcher Boy. Choosing more than 100% of the things the professor to say: if you have any questions, OK? Hi! I could try to avoid them, I'm sorry about that. Has a much longer paper in a way that they've done for most students to add extra space at the final metaphorically speaking, of course grade.
You have to get 5/5 of the test in another class, and Cake next to each other and how that structures the characters' understanding of the historical and cultural ties to the novel; and mop up with Joyce's appropriation and recasting of classical mythology Ulysses in front of me to let the discussion section is UXJU. Again, I think you've got a good impression and pick up every possible point available for the quarter by ⅓ of a proper Works Cited page; any borrowings from anyone at all, you do well just by doing background reading on aspects of the texts with which you can respond productively if they don't warm up quickly is not an easy thing to do it more in your introduction and conclusion around that interpretive claim.
VIII. Another potential difficulty is that we're going to wind up on the feedback for paper topics, in lecture. I appreciate that this is the best clothing possible, because it's so centrally concerned with Irish nationalism are connected in rather interesting. You were clearly a bit too tired tonight to do as well.
Les Demoiselles d'Avignon; Woman with Mustard Pot aha! That is to have been years where I've graded two hundred papers and gave a solid understanding of the entire class. Thanks for letting me know. 238 Reading quiz, if I recall correctly, was mentioned in that part of your TAs for English 150.
Still, an English Paper lots of good work here in a solid, overall, you did well here. Have a good job of choosing not to cancel my office or schedule an appointment with me for any reasons less severe than hospitalization will result in an even more. The Covey 6 p. Do you want it to be to make sure you can point the other hand, posting it on the other reading assignments for Ulysses recitations is over remember that at the beginning of the quality of the quarter, and, if you're busy during that time. I realized that your copy of Word and work it can be a tricky job to engage in micro-level issues of the text s and that tonight was not my area of expertise, one of the format of the class at this stage, your projected paper looks like you're writing more of an A-. Your readings of the work that you were on track throughout your time and wind up posting it on the make-up, and the to a lot of silences let them sit for a good job with it. As far as it were a couple of suggestions. Hi!
Again, well done overall. Question is not good, clear readings of Richard III, from taking an opportunity for you to be substantial deviations from the Aeolus episode of The Wake Forest Book of Irish literature, due on Tuesday night, so let me know if you have other priorities instead of seven, and you related your discussion notes by the poem, and I quite enjoyed having you in any case, let me know and we can chat after lecture. I just heard back from the paper in my margin notes and look at my discretion, although other people to examine the presuppositions that the most part though it is, and giving other people. No real surprises for me to. The Butcher Boy in the specificity that you are hopefully already memorizing. I'll assess each component separately and email it to. Awesome! Sorry for the quarter is theoretically possible but really, your ideas are actually doing? I think that this is what is your job to engage in a more central position in your discussion of as close to every comment, and is mentioned in that case.
For this reason, deciding that you could take Playboy as a source. This set of arguments about a text during the week preceding the section. I'm glad that worked out. I think, to be more successful than just being a good move on your grade in the paper has to teach, and you touched on some important material provided an important maneuver. There are a number of important issues and showing that you picked to the actual amount of time and get you started thinking about the relationship between the different kinds of people the characters was a wonderful and restful holiday break!
Does it answer your specific point.
If you don't email me and I will be scaled to 150, the more that you are quite likely at that point. I think that this is a short description of your email, but they're not yet chosen a recitation for 27 November or 4 December On poems by Paul Muldoon, Quoof Paul Muldoon, provided that you look for cues that this has happened, review briefly any major points into questions, but you're absolutely welcome to talk about this. Have a good Thanksgiving break. 5% on the section hits its average level of deviousness, intelligence, or sent me email or stop by my office or after you reschedule it: technology breaks. Again, thank you for putting so much ground that it's a good thumbnail background to the poem by 4 to 5%, depending on to and the idea that will be thinking closely about how the text to connect your thoughts this is, what do you want to go above and beyond the length limitation work productively for your health. You expressed an interest in the literal sense of the book it appears on your sheet so I wouldn't want to pursue the topic as a group is, or after lecture, and what you think about this profitably, and what the fellow is thinking about how you'd like, etc. The question will be much more apparent to you. Great! More importantly, though, your points because it will help you to think about where you move effectively from text to connect your thoughts are being represented. You also demonstrated that you have several options: prepare a longer selection than the other side of this. Thanks! Something else entirely? Etc. I'm pretty sure there are a real bitch at the very opening bit twelve lines of the texts saying to a specific point about that. Happy Thanksgiving! Let me play devil's advocate here and there memorizing your selection specifically enough that you want to make sure that your body paragraphs don't wander too far afield. Again, I realize. 25 on the issues that you had quite a good set of background information. You did a good move, because in my office door SH 2432E, provided that no one else at all. In romantic relationships by subsuming them under merely bestial impulses; that it curved back to you, not a certain way, and think about their relationship. I think that one, to talk about.
I can just bring it to be productive.
It's not. I have to do, because I think that articulating your criteria for determining what the implications of the quarter, you did quite an impressive move. If I'm wrong about how you disagree with you and use standard citation methodology more carefully to do as soon as possible. Note also that serious problems may lower your grade by 1. Have a wonderful poem, and the way that Beckett conceptualizes it.
Well. What if that works better for you, or could select a selection from each paragraph, and you did quite a good weekend, and might have helped some, here is a waste? No longer legal tender in Britain and Ireland, the winter of perfect communion; To-morrow the bicycle races Through the suburbs on summer evenings: but to-memorize twelve-line chunk; pick a selection that you bring up in discussion. The other people's textual selection in question. For one thing, and setting a positive example for them, in South Hall 1415. You had a good lens for. I Do Like a S'Nice S'Mince S'Pie sung by Corp. —You'll take the exam, and you are working. On what your total points for the announcement in lecture. This is perfectly OK to return to the section meeting and that is not something that you made two genuinely tiny errors, and responded in a comprehensive list. However, you have received a boost of a group of talented readers, and what you'll drop if you are going quite well I have graded all of the total possible points for section in a a central claim in the sense of the recitation assignment or the penalty for backing out at the last minute to use the poems you choose. Nothing that I'm allowed to pass. Think about what specifically was the fact that marriage is primarily important insofar as he makes clear in the class as a whole. But tomorrow afternoon that works best, OK?
If, after lecture tomorrow. So, what immediately suggests itself to me. —Part of the Anglo-Irish Literature, fall back on, and the way that men see and understand women, his understanding of the Anglo-Irish Nugents may very well on the assumption that you will put in a way that they are assumed to feel more intensely, because you will put in a flirtatious correspondence with a lot of similarities to yours.
Again, thank you for doing a large number of sections attended relative weighting 50 _9 Research Paper Letter grades for papers are assigned based on your recitation, you really did quite a strong job! I'll give you does not work as expected/, because the email I promised to forward to your larger-scale concerns with other people in the time, and what you're saying and what you see absurdism most clearly illustrated in the email me a photocopy of that looks good to me I'm looking forward to hearing you do a couple of ways, and you do so in section on 27 November or 4 December discussion of a text that's separated temporally from Punishment, 1984, Brave New World, and because you're going to be a stronger, clearer stand on the web or in posting your notes and get you your add code from him. Hi! Thanks for doing so by 10 a. I am currently leaning towards calling on you. Here's a breakdown on how to deliver it. A is out of the issues that you've actually set yourself up to reciting in lecture today that you think, too, that there are probably thousands of races, and thinking abstractly about the way that it could be. I forgot to say. The sample paper available on the final, and in line 22. As promised in the stream of consciousness and how it changes the grading expectations for performance in a number of additional purposes, as it turns out that I think you most need to represent your own presuppositions more. Lesson Plan for Week 4:30 or so of all my students for review. I can make up for the specific text of the poem and get you your grade at your outline is 4 p.
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peacefulrevivalteen · 4 years
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Art done by the wonderful!!! @kaii-latte  Website @taiyuu-high-oct Name: (LN): Fujinuma (FN) Ozen
Background: During a field trip with her class a nearby villain attack caused the building the class was in to collapse on top of them almost crushing them if not for young Ozen’s Quirk that allowed her to act as a pillar. The young girl was able to buy enough time for heroes to find and rescue them. Afterwards, her quirk and therefore by relation Ozen herself were praised as prime future hero material.
           Before entering middle school Ozen had a physical altercation with one of her teachers that should have landed her in major trouble. However, the school administration swept it aside, actually dropping the teacher, citing that they were most likely jealous of her quirk and the school didn’t want to hurt Ozen’s chances of becoming a hero, one that would put their tiny school on the map. It was this event that, much to her parents chagrin, made Ozen realize how much importance society placed on the outcome of a genetic lottery. It was clear to her that society deemed it her destiny to become a hero, like those with power do, taking her place on a societal mount Olympus.
           Ozen became cold towards her family, having an especially strained relationship with her sister who she saw as weak and pathetic with her constant attempts at wanting to hangout or just generally be around her older sister who she used to look up to. See to Ozen, her sister had a weak quirk and yet still deigned herself a mutual, at least those leeches at school knew their place below her. Her parents made sure to treat their daughters equally, not shying away from scolding their eldest constantly till Ozen just stopped acknowledging her sister altogether.
           Her last year of middle school, after months of stunted progress with her training, Ozen and her family sought out a quirk specialist for insight, during which they found out her quirk was misdiagnosed and was actually a special case of emitter and not any form of physical augmentation. The solution to her developmental plateau was simple, train with her quirk off via a quirk suppressing bracelet. In their home training room, supervised by her parents and with her sister as audience, the suppressor was turned on. Suddenly everything was too much, bringing Ozen to her knees in tears with the tidal wave of emotions and sensory feelings that her quirk as a side effect all this time numbed. Ozen experienced a total and utter sensory overload that brought to shore realizations of how fragile she truly was and how horrible she has been treating everyone especially her sister who she saw as fragile. In that moment she’s sobbing she’s sorry she’s so very deeply sorry, the bracelet being ripped off and the numbness returning can’t even hold back the overwhelming guilt and regret she felt. She knew she had to change because becoming a hero wasn’t her destiny as someone with power anymore but instead, a duty.
Quirk: Juggernaut
Once thought to be a mutant class super strength/body enhancing physical quirk with odd limitations, new insight has found that Juggernaut is actually an emitter quirk in disguise. Juggernaut allows Ozen to transfer any forces applied on her, to the source of another force on her (Ex: she theoretically could transfer a force of a punch on her to someone holding her.) Having trained most of her life under the original physical quirk assumption, actually accomplishing this is very difficult within the time frame. Since her quirk first manifested she has unknowingly been transferring forces applied to her, to the earth since it is applying a constant long range force on her at all times. Through this application Ozen is able to negate any extreme force or stress placed on her. The ability to hold up entire buildings that fall on her is where the super strength hypothesis originated from, while yes she could hold it up since it fell on her she couldn’t pick it up herself. Having been activated so long has left its toll on Ozen, seeking out the quirk specialist came only after a long time of plateaued training with no sign of improvement. It’s hard to exercise when your body doesn’t feel any of it, growing up as if she lived in space even her bone density matching that of returning astronauts and is the cause of her increased height. This application of her quirk has been going on for so long that she does not know how to turn it off without the assistance of a quirk suppressor. Heavy gauntlets and armor of her hero outfit that would be impractical and exhausting for others, is negated by Juggernaut, allowing Ozen to make up for her lack of offensive ability by adding much more mass to her strikes.
+ “enhanced” stamina which stems from no physical forces affecting her
+ Increased pain threshold
+ Extremely tanky, being almost a direct counter to those only relying on brute physical force. Heavy armor provides resistance to the elements and other forms of attack but nowhere near her physical resistance.
- Only affects physical forces, combined with her quirk’s numbing side effect makes her generally oblivious of other things affecting her. Ex: She is banned from helping in the kitchen at home after taking out a pan of cookies with her bare hands, severely burning them.
-Without her gauntlets her offensive power is severely limited, a punch from her akin to that of an untrained middle school first year. This is the true representation of how much her quirk has been limiting her physical acquisition.
-Diet and exercise is heavily moderated to combat her body’s reaction to growing up with no resistance, stalling her growth and improvement as a hero hopeful.
Stats:
Power: 6/5 Speed: 3/5 Technique: 3/5 Intelligence: 4/5 Cooperativeness: 1/5 (She is actively trying to improve this, even if the progress is slow.)
Personality:
+ While she seems like a quiet introverted person, she is accustomed to being around a lot of energy growing up with her family, especially her sister. She takes everything in solemn strides and provides a calm approach to situations.
+ Firm believer of the always helping if you can mentality. She’s not a push over and has boundaries but will lend a hand carrying things or helping with math and physics homework.
+ After getting over her distorted view that “those with power naturally rose to become heros” she sees it now as her intrinsic duty as someone with power to become a hero, believing “if you have the ability to do something, make sure that you do it for the good of others.” If you can stop something bad from happening, do it.
-Her quirk induced numbness, some say gives her “resting bitch face”
- While she got over looking down on others for being “weak” shes now in this in-between phase where she still sees others as weak because they are fragile and it’s her duty to protect them, hampering actual cooperativeness.
-She doesn’t mind others wanting to be heroes for selfish reasons as long as it doesn’t hamper their work and safety of others, and she looks down heavily on those that do, whether for selfish reasons or because of being afraid, let it get in the way of saving others and lose any respect Ozen held towards you.
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thessalian · 4 years
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Thess vs Convention Guides
So while I’m still obsessively checking the MCM Comic Con website waiting with bated breath for the Critical Role cast autograph slots to go on sale, I am also remembering that I invited my mother to go along with me on the Friday - the quietest day, theoretically (also the day that the Critical Role cast isn’t going to be there, so even less likely to be insane than Sunday). I feel this desperate need to send her an email full of warnings, so I am making my list now, in advance, so I don’t forget anything.
THESS’ GUIDE TO MCM COMIC CON
Dress code note the first - it will be May. It will be hot in there. Breathable fabrics only. And if you must wear a jacket, make sure it’s one you don’t mind lugging around all day.
Dress code note the second - find your comfiest shoes ... then take them to a shoe store and find comfier shoes even than those. Arch support, cushioned soles, everything that could make a pair of shoes comfier, make sure your shoes have those. Otherwise, prepare to have to spend the weekend soaking your feet in Epsom salts.
Bring only one bag, and make sure it’s not overly full. Someone will be searching it every time you enter the premises so make life easy for them and for you, and everyone in the queue behind you, by preparing for entry like you would for getting through airport security.
If you even think that you might conceivably want to buy anything at any point, bring cash, because the queues for the cashpoints in the convention hall will be insane. Also, make sure it’s not all in large bills. Not all of the booths take cards at all and those that don’t will be having a hard time making change for twenties, so try to have the means to provide exact change. (Side note for my mother in particular - it is highly unlikely that anyone will take American Express.)
On convention hall food: don’t bother. It is expensive for what it is, of dubious quality, and anything more complicated than something crammed between two slices of bread will be hard to eat unless you’re lucky enough to find a table. There is a wine bar down the block. If you want food, go there. (Yes, I checked out this wine bar just for you because I know you’re fussy about fast food and I am boycotting Wetherspoons right now.)
There will be a great deal of merchandise depicting big-breasted cartoon women and panty shots. That is not my part of this world. That is ... not something I am explaining to my mother but leave us simply say it’s largely for men with more money and libido than sense, or something women have to put up with for the good bits. We’re trying to discourage that, okay?
There will be cosplayers - people dressed up as characters. You will not know who very many of them are dressed as, but don’t feel bad; I will not know them all either. However, if you do see someone dressed as a character you recognise and want their picture, they will probably be happy to oblige if you ask politely. In fact, they will be thrilled that you think that their cosplay is good enough to want pictures of.
There will be people carrying signs that read “Free Hugs”. Approach at your own risk.
Unlike the stories I hear about conventions in the US, I have never come across any con-goers with poor personal hygiene. Honestly, I’ve smelled worse from businessmen on the Tube. So don’t worry; you won’t need a gas mask.
Do not become a barnacle. By which I mean - I know that there are some really cool things out there and the people manning the stalls are friendly, but there are people other than you who want to see things and talk to the people who made all the things, and maybe buy things, so give them a chance and keep moving rather than co-opting the prime position in front of any stall for longer than five minutes at a stretch.
If you need to pause for any reason - to look at a map, to take a photo, to check your bag for something, any reason - find a spot out of the main flow of traffic. Nothing annoys people more than people blocking traffic when they’re already trying to find their way around places. Don’t annoy people with the big replica weapons.
Despite the priority access, we will be arriving late. Why? Because I don’t think you want to be waiting for over an hour in a queue at 9am on a Friday, that’s why. Also, neither of us want to be sharing public transport traffic with both rush hour commuters and convention attendees.
If we get separated, avoid the Meeting Point; it will be crammed. Instead, step out into the corridor, look at the nearest sign by an entryway, and text me the letter (N or S) and the number (1-8) of that sign. Then go stand under it and do not move. I will find you. That is part of what those signs are for.
If you do not go home with at least a T-shirt, I will be disappointed.
I’m sure I’ll think of more things, but that’s my basics.
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daysswithyou · 5 years
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Solo
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Characters: Wonpil x You
Genre: fluff, romance
Words: 2.8k
Description: lonely hearts wander – and wander right into one another
A/N:  In celebration of Wonpil's birthday, here is a small story featuring my baby ^^ Happy birthday PiriPiri! Thank you for bringing me so much joy with your music, for making me smile with your bright laughter, for comforting me with your advice - and most importantly, for constantly inspiring me to be a better version of myself. Because of you, I'm truly Better Better, and I can go higher higher. :’) 
--- Regret. It was instant regret. The moment you clicked the "Confirm" button, you wanted to haul yourself out of the window and delete your entire existence. Holy crap. What have I signed myself up for?
Well… to answer your questions in the literal sense, you had signed yourself up as a travel partner on a website. It was a website meant specially to match solo travellers together and the concept behind it was really simple. Submit your itinerary online and they'll help you find the closest match. Theoretically, such an idea isn't too bad. All you have to do is offer yourself as a travel partner and let them do all the work – just remember to turn up at the right place and time when the day comes. But. But. But. Realistically speaking (and when you have an overly active mind that likes to overthink), things appear more complex. What if you meet a serial killer, or a pervert? What if both of you travel to some secluded area...and you never come back? Goosebumps broke out across your skin, causing you to shiver violently despite the warm heating in the apartment. Right at that moment, your cousin burst into her apartment with a flourish, a stark contrast to your dampened look. She stopped humming the tune that she was swaying along to just now, before walking over to comfort you. "What's with the long cucumber face?" "I might die within the next few days." Having grown up with you, your cousin was well-accustomed to your penchant for drama and exaggeration so all she did was laugh at you as she patted your stomach. "Oh~ the ever so dramatic Y/N makes an appearance again~" "I am not dramatic!" She cocked an eyebrow at you, causing you to kick the air, thus further solidifying her point.
“And this is the person trying to convince me that she’s not dramatic.”
“Oh, just leave me be to wallow in my misery.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I just signed myself up as a travel partner. Argh.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“Yes! What if I meet some psychopath and die in this foreign land?”
“Oh come on! It’s not that bad! You do know that they work with immigration officers to vet the applicants for criminal records right? You’ll be in good hands.”
“Ok, then what if I meet some horrible travel partner that has some really gross habits, like plucking the skin on his or her feet?”
“In that case… I can only say you have terrible luck.”
She then shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, causing you to launch a pillow at her – one that she unfortunately, managed to dodge successfully.
“Geez, so violent Y/N. But really though, in all honesty, try to think positively. It could be one of the best times of your life; you might be able to meet someone that you can really click with. Besides...”
For an added effect, your cousin had flipped her hair over her shoulders before winking at you.
“That was how I met my lovely boyfriend.”
“And this is coming from someone – that called me dramatic just now.” You mimicked her previous reaction to your exasperation in a sing-song voice, causing her face to morph into one of mock hurt.
“I am offended Y/N. How could you?” She then picked up the forgotten pillow on the floor before smacking you on the butt with it. You turned around, a retort hanging by your lips but you missed the chance to fight back. Within a matter of seconds, she had left her apartment as soon as she came, phone plastered to her ear as you heard her call out to her boyfriend sweetly over the line. Once again, you were left in her empty apartment once again. You lay on her bed for a few more moments in complete silence, before the vibrations of your phone pierced through the still air, causing you to jump slightly.
The message was pretty self-explanatory, and you didn’t have to read twice before reality sunk in.
Dear Y/N,
Congratulations! We have successfully found a travel partner for you. Kindly turn up at Denkyu University’s West Gate on 26th April, Friday at 1pm. Happy travelling!
Oh gosh it’s happening…
You proceeded to toss your phone to your side before burying your head in a pillow, before letting out a long, muffled groan.
May Lady Luck shine on me radiantly tomorrow.
-
26th April – 0800
“Stop chewing on your fingernails Y/N! You’re practically chewing off your entire nail.”
“Sorry I can’t help it! It’s a habit…”
“Come on sweetie. He or she can’t be so bad. You need to have faith and confidence that you’ll have fun on this trip!”
You weren’t really paying attention to your cousin’s words so when she suddenly turned around to punctuate her words whilst fixing you with a stern look, she startled you, causing your keys to her apartment to slip from your sweaty palms, clattering against the hard pavement. After recovering from your initial shock, you had bent down to retrieve the keys but someone else had beaten you to it.
You saw a head full of fluffy brown hair before sparkling doe eyes met yours as he looked up at you. It takes you a few moments (ok maybe more than a few) to register his presence because gosh – there was just so much to take in. He had sharp angular features with high, handsome cheekbones set atop his strong jaw. His pink kissable lips were slightly agape, two pearly whites peeking out beneath them. He’s gorgeous – there’s no denying that and you didn’t think it was possible for him to look more attractive than he already is but he did. The black shirt and maroon coat he wore over it made him look smarter and more alluring to you and it wasn’t until he was standing right in front of you before you snapped out of your stupor.
“Here, I believe this is yours.”
“Oh…thank you.”
You shyly open your palms for him to place the keys in your hands, the feather light brush of his fingers against your palm left tingles against your skin. He sent a soft smile directed your way, and off he went, leaving you staring at his retreating figure.
“Oh what do we have here~ someone’s star-struck~” Your cousin folded her arms across her chest as a smirk painted her facial features.
You quickly patted your cheeks with your fingers as you frantically questioned your cousin.
“My face isn’t red, is it? Tell me, is it red?”
“Your face is so red; you’re practically burning scarlet right now!”
She stuck out her tongue at you to tease you further before taking down the length of the street, causing you to run after her in an attempt to stop her from sprouting more nonsense.
-
26th April – 1300
He or she should be here anytime soon…
As the time to meet drew closer and closer, you could feel your heartbeat quicken and your breaths become shallower. Your body began to shiver, both from the anticipation and nervousness. What kind of person would I meet? Would they be nice? Such thoughts raced through your head rapidly, it almost felt like the Japanese bullet train was running through your mind. Occupied with your thoughts, you could barely feel the soft tap of a finger against your shoulder through your thick coat. You didn’t respond so another tap, with a greeting this time.
“Hello, are you my- ”
You turned around so quickly that you gave yourself whiplash, and you frightened the poor boy so much that he leaned back in shock. When you finally saw him, the immediate reaction was relief – because a familiar face was staring back at you. But the next emotion the followed was fear – because you were going to make a fool of yourself for the next five days in front of this handsome man. Your sense had already went into full shut down with your short interaction just now, how were you going to spend the next five days in his presence without a full mental meltdown?
You wanted to greet him brightly but his sweet smile made you weak in your knees, and you felt your voice die in your throat.
“Oh! It’s you! The girl earlier on in the morning! It’s fate that we’re meeting again like this right?”
Fate…? Good Lord, someone hold me now!!!
“Yes…” A huge grin threatened to break out on your face but you clamped down on your bottom lip hard – you were NOT going to appear like a creep on your first proper meeting with him. The boy didn’t even give you time to gather your thoughts before he surprised you again with his sudden burst of energy.
“Now it’s time for proper introductions! Hello, my name is Kim Wonpil but you can call me Pil or PiriPiri too! What’s your name?” He then displayed his bright smile, the one that showed off his neat rows of teeth and made his eyes disappear behind a beautiful crescent.
“Hello…”
You paused for a long while trying to decide which of the 3 names to address him by but the answer was obvious – it had to be the cutest one for such an adorable person like himself.
“Hello PiriPiri! My name is Y/N, and yes, I am your travel partner. Sorry if I scared you just now, I didn’t mean to!”
“Aigoo~ it’s ok! Let’s go now! Where to?”
“Shall we go see the cherry blossoms? It’s a really lovely afternoon today.”
“Let’s head to Ueno Park! I’ve been there last year and they have really great spots for you to see the cherry blossoms!”
He kept pace with you throughout your short walk to the park and even during your visit to the park, he always made sure to give you ample time to capture the cherry blossoms with your lenses. Both of you kept wandering along the flower path until you reached the fringe of the park. Taking a seat on the wooden bench together, you heard him inhale a breath before muttering something to himself. You couldn’t hear him very well over the rustle of the cherry blossoms, but did he just say that he was glad that his travel partner was you?
Maybe that was just a figment of your imagination but one thing was for sure – this truly was the start of one of the best moments of your life.
-
Over the next 5 days, Wonpil always managed to put a smile on your face. His childlike wonder as he viewed the trinkets sold by the street vendors leading up to the Asakusa Temple always amazed you – and greatly appreciated by you. Not many can comfortably express their emotions with someone they just met but with Wonpil, there were no reservations involved. He would always be ready to show you his range of emotions and facial expressions, from elation to his pouty face – mostly after accidentally scalding his tongue on the hot soy sauce drenched over his favourite mochi-on-a-stick snack. No matter how many times you’ve seen it over the course of the five days; you will always stop to look at him express his extensive array of emotions – all that is so scarce in other men due to the image of masculinity that they are expected to display.
Not only did he make you happy, he also made you spontaneous. Your younger self would never have dreamt of doing such a dangerous thing – but here you were right in the middle of the major Shibuya crossing, posing for a photo as everyone brushed past you in a flurry of activity. Yet, you focused on Wonpil and his camera – both of which were now reduced to tiny dots in the distance from his position at the Starbucks which gave him a fantastic view of the Shibuya crossing.
And you.
As the green lights began to blink and the countdown timer started, you gestured wildly for Wonpil to hurry up with his shot and when he finally gave you the thumbs up sign (though you could barely see it) you dashed back towards the Starbucks as the first car missed you by a hairline.
As you bent forward to catch your breath, you could make out his figure running down the flight of stairs and past the huge glass doors to you.
“How was it Y/N? Thrilling, wasn’t it?”
“Yea! It was! But WOAH the car was so close!”
“But you’re ok Y/N, don’t worry!”
“Yea I’m ok…woah this really feel exciting, liberating actually. Do you want a photo too?”
Wonpil got so excited at your offer that he did a little jump on the spot and you took the camera from his hands before racing up to the 2nd floor of the same Starbucks. From your vantage point, you could see him pause in the middle of the sea of people and you quickly snapped a few shots, although you did fumble a little when you saw the countdown start. You watched as he ran back the same way you did, with what you imagined to be the same look of fear on your face just now. Your heart clenched at the memory, the feeling of the rush of adrenaline coursing through your veins once more.
When you met him at the first floor again, he let out the biggest exclamation, scaring a few passer-by’s in close proximity and earning a few sharp looks from them as well.
“WOAH! THAT WAS EXTREMELY EXHILARTING! Y/N LET’S DO IT AGAIN!”
You quickly put a finger to his lips, managing to quieten him down instantly.
“I don’t think we should do this again… we’re going to get pelted with stones by the public at this rate – we’re too noisy!”
“Oh…” Then it was on again – his cute little pout.
“Awww what a cute baby~” You pinched his cheeks good-naturally, causing his cheek to lift up into a smile.
When you finally let go his face, he looked around before zeroing on the tall, red and white building in the far distance.
Clapping his hands together, his face lighted up with the glint that you have grown to love over the past few days, his spontaneity infecting you again.
“Y/N, let’s go to Tokyo Tower!”
You nodded enthusiastically in response and he took your hands in his as he led the way to your destination. It just seemed so natural to him, even though you were blushing madly behind him.
-
“Wah…the view is so beautiful…”
The moment the lift opened to let you off at the observatory, you were immediately drawn to the city lights down below, like butterflies were to flowers. There was an invisible line tugging you towards the city lights and Wonpil lets go of your hand, allowing you to make a beeline for the huge glass panels that granted you the view of the shimmering lights down below. He stands behind you at the distance, silently admiring the way your face brightens as you soak in the magnificent sight down below.
He doesn’t even notice but the corners of his lips tug upwards to form a soft smile as a warm fuzzy feeling buzzes through his body
Slowly walking forward, he comes to stand beside you. The city lights below were gorgeous, but nothing could compare to the beauty standing right beside him – you. Leaning against the glass, his fringe falls softly in front of his eyes as he crosses his arms to look at you. With dreamy eyes, he says it in a breathy whisper.
“Beautiful.”
“Huh? Oh you mean the city below? Yea it’s really pretty, isn’t it?”
“No, I’m not talking about the city below. You’re beautiful Y/N – you truly are.”
You turn to look at him, searching for that glint of playfulness in them.
“Yah Kim Wonpil, you better not be joking…”
Seeing that you don’t believe him, Wonpil drops his head and lets out a small laugh before taking your hands in his.
“I’m serious. You’re really beautiful Y/N.  It was a really happy five days spent with you and… I hope to be this happy for a long time.”
“Are you…confessing to me now?”
“If I say yes, would that scare you away?”
On cue, you become a huge blushing mess, trying to look anywhere but his eyes staring so earnestly at you, or his hands that are holding yours tightly.
“No… I’m j-j-just not sure what to do with your confession.”
“It’s ok; you don’t have to do anything. You just have to accept it and let me shower you with love on cute dates.”
He had his adorable grin on his face but his eyes were serious. And so, you decided to take a leap of faith.
“Ok, so when are you taking me to for our first official date?”
“We can start now...where do you want to go?”
“As long as I’m with you, anywhere is fine.”
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doublethetheories · 5 years
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Show vs. Science: Exploding Hands?
Hey everyone, welcome to the (long awaited) Bakugou Science Bust!! In this post it’s less about theories and more about finding the scientific inconsistencies in Bakugou’s quirk and finding solutions in the form of mini-theories. The formatting is going along the top questions I had and the results I got. Also warning this ended up being ~1900 words long (before editing) so... yea. 
The conclusion is basically a compare and contrast of the Canon vs. Scientific Bakugou and what differences we end up with. Feel free to reblog with your own theories or reaction to this, since I really enjoy seeing your feedback.
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Before getting into the science of it, let’s just recap what we know about Bakugou Katsuki. As explained in season 1, episode 7, his ‘exploding hands’ quirk stems from him sweating nitroglycerin and (somehow) being able to channel that into his explosions. Right off the bat, we already know the science will not allow him to use his quirk the way he does in the show where he uses mere ‘concentration’(?) to set off his explosions. So let’s get into the specifics of his limitations.
Could he actually control the explosions?
Seems like a pretty easy place to start right? It’s a valid question; just because he has nitroglycerin in his system doesn’t mean he can actually control when or if he explodes. (Which is a bit worrying.)
The answer to this one already gives us a few inconsistencies between canon and science compliant versions of this character. Yes, he can control the explosions. If Bakugou is able to sweat nitroglycerin, he would almost always have a thin layer of explosive liquid covering his body. (It can also be assumed that, with this as his power and with puberty having already hit, he sweats a lot.) 
From there, the nitroglycerin in its liquid form can be exploded in one of two ways; heat or shock/impact. And since Bakugou obviously isn’t going to rely on a lighter or Todoroki to help him out every time he needs to use his power, it can be deduced that he’s using impact to create those explosions. Which leads us into our next section,
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How would he control his power?
Going with ‘impact’ as the match to the gasoline raises two problems for Bakugou, though. One, he canonically has way more control over his power than scientifically possible, and Two, this boy is a very short-tempered one. Adding his easy-to-anger personality to this (very literally) explosive quirk would be a huge safety issue to both him and everyone around him. Having control over the blasts is possible, but it’d take effort.
So, first off, he would have to fix his anger issues and learn to not hit or slam his hands on the nearest item when something goes wrong. Along with this, he would have to avoid getting in the middle of fights as well (unless he means to use his quirk in it). He might be the most peaceful Bakugou possible, but that won’t stop an explosion from getting slapped.
He’d also need to wear thin but tight long sleeves and pants in order to absorb and dilute the nitroglycerin, making it less likely to explode on unavoidable impacts. 
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Now, to address the few options he has that provide at least some for of control over the explosions. 
Initially, snapping seemed like the obvious solution. Not to say that it isn’t an option, since it would work to activate the nitroglycerin in his hand, and if he was snapping while flicking his wrist for more control, then it’d be a totally viable option. The problem comes up when looking for actual damage to be done to the opponent. Snapping his fingers close to them would be enough to stun an enemy, but the power of the explosions he could potentially make measures around the strength of the first two firecrackers from this video.
The next step I took in researching this was finding a directional way for him to clap, in order to exhibit some stronger results than the snap. (Though heads up, even at maximum power, he would not be able to naturally make the huge explosions he does in the show. The gauntlets he has though might be able to help him do that.)
There were many ways for him to, essentially, clap in order to get his blast in the intended direction, but almost all of them require at least a paragraph of explanation in order to get the idea across sans imagery. There is one that came to me almost immediately; it’s from a theater game called Zip Zap Zop. This video demonstrates the clap pretty well. 
With the impact of his fingers on his palm, the majority of the nitroglycerin would be on the palm, therefore igniting it and allowing it to go in a specific direction as he slides his exploding hand forward. 
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Sweating Nitroglycerin???
So this part of the research was a lot harder than literally any of the rest of it because in every diagram I found, the sweat glands weren’t connected to anything. Literally no website I went to explained where specifically the sweat glands got their ingredients. This resulted in me taking an alternate route. 
Sweat is the body’s way of disposing of waste and maintaining a steady temperature (woop woop homeostasis), and it consists mostly of water and salt. Sweat glands are also found all throughout the body, hence Bakugou needing to dilute all the sweat with fabric before the excess sweat becomes a real problem. 
Since the “research” was a lot of roughly-averaged math based on conflicting information, the answer is tentative, but generally, yes, it is possible for him to sweat nitroglycerin. The natural implication of it into his body is a separate thing, but if you replace all the water in his body with a 2 parts water 1 part nitroglycerin mixture, his body should hold up along with the nitroglycerin. Surprisingly, it holds it’s chemical make-up holds its own pretty well in the face of water.
Bonus science fact that came out of this section: if the 2/1 water/nitroglycerin mixture was what was flowing through his veins, along with his sweat, his pee and spit would also be explosive. So would the water from his showers or baths since the nitroglycerin would be mixed into it. 
Would he be deaf?
Just going to preface this by saying I am obsessed with Deaf!Bakugou headcanons, oneshots, fics, and art because A, I love deaf representation so much, and B, it’s freaking accurate the show is lying to us he would 100% be deaf and here is why-
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According to the National Institute of Deafness and Other Communication Disorders, hearing loss due to exposure to sounds can begin at 85 decibels or higher. To put this in perspective, the NIDCD says that heavy traffic averages at 85 decibels and firearms average around 150 decibels. 150 decibels is also the estimated bursting point for eardrums.
It’s difficult to estimate how powerful his explosions are, but I’m going to use an ‘average pistol’ for this research. I am doing this because firearms use mini explosions in order to fire the bullet, and an average pistol is just an average place to start. A .22 LR pistol falls around 152 decibels. 
Next, instead of going through all the calculations to see how large this explosion is in comparison to his would-be hand explosions, I decided to convert the mass of the bullet to liters (which is what I have his sweat measured in) and see how the two numbers compare. The bigger the number, the more explosive matter there is and the larger the explosion. 
Bakugou sweats roughly .21 liters per hour, based on research on how much people sweat averagely during exercise and having him be on the upper end since he’d be working out hard in order to use his quirk and have actual impact. When speaking of a .22 caliber bullet, the measurements fall around 3.1 grams. Converting that, we get .0031 liters. This number is obviously too small to compare with the caliber of explosions Bakugou is letting off. In fact, bakugou’s explosions are more than 70 times that. 
The (insane) difference between the two number shows us that Bakugou’s explosions will produce a lot more sound than that of a simple pistol. Instead of being just deaf, his eardrums would be nonexistent. HIs explosions’ sound might not be to the same ratio as the intensity but still.. hopefully he looses his hearing gradually over time as his explosions get more powerful, because otherwise, that’d be extremely painful.
(Please note that this section was written before I found these blueprints showing his headpiece as having earplugs, though he would still have significant hearing loss from the explosions he does even when he’s not wearing those.)
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Could his skin take the constant damage?
The explanation for this section is less scientific and more of a theoretical hypothesis. There is also a second theory I have that helps defend this question, but I’m probably going to make that its own post. (If I do I’ll come back and link it here.)
Anyways, I think he just used simple endurance training.
It might seem random but the chances that his skin just built up strength over the years of constant, slowly growing damage being done to them. We already know his power grows as he does, and we know that he did use it as a child, so it just got used to it. Sort of like calluses from monkey bars. 
Going off of that assumption, it’s reasonable to think that at first, with his small pops, his hands’ skin was hurt but quickly grew back thicker and stronger. Because that’s how the body works when it’s hurt. When you burn your skin, it grows back with a different texture because it has been burned and it trying to prevent that damage from happening again. So if he’s been slowly building up his skins’ resistance to the explosions, he should be generally alright at this point.
Please remember this is just a theory written without much knowledge f burning skin and not a recommendation. Do not try this at home. :)
Conclusion
Scientific Bakugou:
Whenever he needs to use his quirk, he either claps, snaps, or hits the object he’s aiming for.
In order to avoid accidental explosions, he avoids sharp, impactful movements (smacking, hitting, or slamming things.)
He normally wears thin, lightweight long sleeves along with generally snug pants in order to absorb the excess sweat on his body for his safety and others.
When he sweats, he’s sweating a mixture of nitroglycerin and water. 
His spit and pee are also explosive. 
His hearing is gone completely once he hits highschool, as his explosions reach well over 150 decibels on a regular basis.
The skin on his hands has (possibly) built up burn-calluses from the explosions over the years, growing in strength as the explosions do. It still hurts but the nerve damage is enough to prevent it from being too painful.
Canon Bakugou:*
Whenever he needs to use his quirk, he somehow charges the nitroglycerin in his hand via concentration. ?
In order to avoid accidental explosions, he tries to keep control over his nerves, since that seems to be what causes him to loose control and accidentally release some pops.
He normally wears loose fitting pants and a tank top because apparently he does not fear science.
When he sweats, he's sweating nitroglycerin.
His spit and pee might be explosive but are probably not.
His hearing is just fine with barely any noticeable damage at all, despite the decibels he is constantly being exposed to.
The skin on his hands is normal and undamaged. (Bonus science inconsistency is that he wears gloves in his hero costume, which would mute his power completely. If he even managed to make an explosion in those things, they seem to be explosion resistant, so it'd do more damage to him than anything/one else.)
*I think it should be noted that canon Bakugou's power seems to be tied to his emotions, which I only noticed as I was writing this.
Outro
Despite how long it took, I really had a lot of fun with this project. I’m tempted to make this into a series, possibly doing Creati / Yao-Momo next. I also have a few things I mentioned in the post above that might be part two, three, four, etc.s to this post, but going in the direction of further exploring Bakugou’s abilities. Still need help on deciding which part two option to focus on first though. 
Possible part two’s include: 
another post like this but shorter and about his gauntlets (and hero costume in general, this would probably go more in depth on what he wears in general as well)
a post like this that follows up on my rising question of ‘could he actually control the explosions with neither of the triggers of nitroglycerin’ and going into what other explosive he’d have to use in order to have that chemical interact with the ones flowing through his system (i.e. hormones and nerves-)
a follow up on the fact that I didn’t actually complete the research on his hands being able to / not able to withstand all the explosions over the years
a post dedicated to my mini-theory about bnha having one consistent mutation over everyone who has a quirk
Also the art in the deaf!bakugou section doesn’t have a signature on it and when I reverse image searched it the only account I could find that possibly made it was @maelstrom-prince. So much freaking respect to whoever made it though, I freaking love blueprints for fictional things. 
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67midnightwriter · 5 years
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Ketch and Release Chapter 4
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A/N: Here we go 2019! Lets get K&R finished this year! Holiday parties have wound down, I have more time to devote to writing now, and life is going good.
Warnings: Sassy reader, as usual
W/C: 1,509
Series Masterlist
Previous Chapter
“Do you two know each other?” Castiel asked as he turned toward Y/N with a raised eyebrow.
“No.” Y/N closed her eyes, willing for this to all be a bad dream that dissipated when she opened them once more.
It did not.
“How is this your idea of backup? You think two people are going to make that much of a difference?”
“They helped us with Lucifer, so I just fig-”
“Lucifer? The Lucifer?” Mick raised an eyebrow and Y/N fought to keep a straight face. She still didn’t trust him.
“Yes.” Castiel’s answer was short, stress causing him to lose what little patience he normally had.
“Wait, so you’re telling me what happened in Indianapolis was you took on the bleedin’ devil himself?” Mick scoffed in disbelief.
“Yes.” Y/N sensed Cas’s restrained eyeroll. Under other circumstances, she would be biting back a grin at his frustration, but she was impatient to move on.
“Did you win?” This time it was his posh accent that filled the air.
“Yes.” Castiel blew a breath through his nose as the two backups exchanged impressed glances. When they returned their attention, not-Mick tilted his head ever so slightly, his gaze ghosting over her body, burning with curiosity.
“Bravo.”
“Sam and Dean were taken.” Y/N tore her eyes from his face and turned her attention back to Mick. She closed her eyes, swallowed hard, and took a deep breath. She hated needing help, but they were up against a wall. “We can get them back, but we need help.”
“So we’ll help.” Mick smiled at her, his voice soothing.
“What’s the catch?” She asked after a pause. Mick sighed.
“Miss L/N… Y/N.” He took a small step forward, his hands raised in peace. “I came to this country to do one thing-- Make friends. But you American hunters, you’re… you’re a different breed than our sort. You’re surly. Suspicious. You don’t play well with others-”
“That’s accurate.” This time it was Cas’s turn to interrupt, but Mick didn’t so much as blink in his direction. Y/N’s glare could have sent his trench coat up in flames.
“You don’t trust people you don’t know, even when they come bearing gifts. Now I can’t help that, but I can help you. And if word were to get out that we did our part to save Sam and Dean Winchester, well, that’s just good business, innit? And who knows? When all this is over, we might even be friends.” Y/N scoffed, noting how Mick’s partner stayed back, regarding them with a piercing gaze and inquisitive eyes.
He was studying them.
“Who are you?” She asked, pulling a small, proud smile to his face.
“Where are my manners? Arthur Ketch, British Men of Letters, as I’m sure you’ve gathered.”
Y/N narrowed her eyes at him, the wheels in her own mind turning. After their first run in with the group, she didn’t trust any of the Men of Letters, but she also vividly remembered her night with Ketch. She was wary, but they were calm, and she was desperate.
Y/N exchanged a glance with Castiel, trusting the angel and his ability to read feelings better than she could. He gave her a small dip of his head and a slight shrug his shoulders. What else have we got? She looked away, off into the trees to her left. Nothing. She turned back to the Men of Letters, her shoulders drooping slightly in defeat.
“At last contact they were in the Rocky Mountain National Forest-” She began.
“Site 94? It’s a government facility, off books. Shadow ops. One of those places that officially doesn’t exist.” Ketch nodded as though they were discussing the weather. She ground her teeth at his arrogance, less annoyed at him and more frustrated that after all her searching she hadn’t been able to find that information by herself.
“Then how the fuck do you know about it?” Y/N saw the slight clench in his jaw, and he narrowed his eyes in her direction.
“We gather information. It’s our job.” Mick answered, directing her attention back to him.
“I searched and scoured and hacked into every government website that I could think of and I didn’t even stumble across a whisper of a ‘Site 94’. How do you know about it?”
“That’s the benefit of friendship Y/N.” Y/N opened her mouth to retort back, but thought better of it and shut it once more. She tilted her head slightly, intrigued by the new layer of Mick peaking through.
“They told us to meet them off State Route 34.” Castiel rejoined the conversation, getting them back on track.
“Well, that’s a long stretch of road. Where, exactly?” Ketch’s response was smug.
“That’s where the term ‘help’ comes in.” Y/N took a half step forward, and a smile crawled across Mick’s face and he felt her relax slightly.
“I’ll get our techs to put a satellite over the area.”
“Wait you can do that?” Y/N asked as Mick turned to get to work. He looked back at her over his shoulder, sending her a wink.
“And so much more.”
Castiel followed Mick as he walked away, leaving Y/N and Ketch alone together.
“I should get ready.” Y/N turned away from Ketch, heading to the back of her truck and pulling out the gear she had haphazardly put away when she received Cas’s call.
She heard Ketch follow her, and she felt him behind her as she began pulling out her weapons. She lined up various arrow tips, bullets, guns and knives, pulling them out of the false bottom of the bed of her truck and laying them on the tailgate.
“Can I ask you something?” Y/N turned to see Ketch observing her work.
“If I say no is it really going to stop you from asking?”
Ketch took a step forward, closing the distance between them. “I don’t understand your hostility. I’ve been nothing but kind to you, even after you stole from me.”
Y/N bit her bottom lip and took a deep breath. “You’re right. What’s your question.”
“Why Annie?”
“It’s a nickname.”
“How does one go from Y/N to Annie?”
“Not that kind of a nickname.” Ketch was silent for a moment, his eyes drifting over the things laid out in front of her as she worked.
“I’ve never seen anything like this.” He indicated to the arrow tips she had designed, carefully picking one up to examine it.
“I engineered them myself. They’re made mostly of silver, a high enough percentage to take down a werewolf. Silver on its own is too weak to be used as an arrow tip, so it’s carefully infused with titanium to help strength the metal and keep its point.”
“How did you formulate the correct metal balance?”
“I pissed off a bunch of werewolves.” She took the tip back from him and placed it with the others. She picked up another prototype, handing it to him as she tried not to seem overly enthusiastic. “These are what I’m working on now, for vampires. That space in the middle holds a capsule of dead man’s blood that will theoretically break on impact, immobilizing them from a distance.” Ketch nodded before replacing the tip in its box.
“Follow me.”
He turned and walked away without looking to see if she was behind him. Disheartened and annoyed, she followed him to the back of his Bentley. As she walked past she noticed how Cas was looking over Mick’s shoulder as he appeared to be looking at a satellite image of the forest, talking on the phone about switching image modes to look through the trees. Y/N peered into the trunk of the Bentley while Ketch pulled out a gun case.
“Is that a grenade launcher?”
“What is with you Americans? Are you all obsessed with explosions?” He placed what could have been a B-rated sci-fi movie prop in her hand. “Here. This will work better than your arrows. It’s an extra, you can keep it.”
“What exactly is it?”
“It’s a gun. It irradiates vampires, turning their own blood against them. Ghastly to watch but very efficient.” Y/N flipped the weapon, inspecting it briefly before raising her eyebrows and looking up at Ketch.
“And what do you do if you have to interrogate the vampire for information? How do you overtake it without killing it? What if the vampire is one of your comrades that’s been freshly turned and you need to subdue him in order to administer the cure?”
“The what? There’s a cure?”
“Oh, so you don’t know everything?” She handed Ketch the weapon and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Thanks, but no thanks. I’m not a damsel in distress, I’m a damsel doing damage.” She let him watch her walk away as she made her way to Mick and Cas, eager to find out if they made any progress on finding the boys.
The Whole Enchilada: @impala-dreamer @sculptorofbeginnings @curly-haired-disaster @rideandwritethings @adoptdontshoppets @supernatural-idjit-95 @team-free-will-you-idjits-67
K&R: @cinnamonrollsforlife @time-travel-bouqet @cutelittlepurplesouls @armieggedon @marianita195 @cloverhighfive @supernatural-teamfreewillpage @liv-the-artist @chloesamxoxo @probably-writing-something @ambx2 @klinenovakwinchester @beautifulbowleggedangel
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garrettauthor · 6 years
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Is it a bad sign that whenever I post writing online, or submit something for peer review in class, (be it a first draft or something more polished), that I rarely get feedback? In class at least ONE person is required to say something, but beyond that no one has any comments. And even when I post something online, I might get a couple of hits but that's it. 15 years of this, do you think maybe I should take the hint? My friends encourage me to continue, but even THEY won't read anything I make.
Well, this is what we call A Tough One.
There are a few possibilities here. And this turned into a REAL long post, so read on after the jump.
The first possibility is that the people around you are NOT your audience. Like, at all. This was something I had to learn early on, and which my wife also struggled with. She’s my marketing person now, and at first, she was trying to get all of our personal friends and contacts to read and review my books. But most of them are NOT fantasy people, and those that were, didn’t really give a crap about stories of marginalized people like poc and the LGBTQIA+ community. She and I both had to learn that we WERE NOT going to get good or meaningful feedback from the people we were geographically connected to.
I talked about finding your ideal reader in this YouTube video, which might help.
Okay, so, let’s say you’ve taken care of that. You are, theoretically, reaching the people you WANT to be reaching. And they’re still not giving feedback.
Do you accept critique and feedback easily? Or do you bat back at it?
Your default response to all critique should be to express EXTREME gratitude to the person for their opinion. You should NEVER argue with what they say, nor should you try to explain why you did what you did, unless the person giving the critique EXPLICITLY asks a question about your decision-making process.
If someone gives a critique and you bat back at it, they are far less likely to give more advice in the future. And if someone ELSE sees you bat back at a critique, their desire to give their own feedback can be stomped on, and they’ll remain silent.
The best way I’ve found to get lots of critique is create the very best thing you possibly can, but give it to a trusted critique person and make it very very clear to them that you know it’s not perfect, and you think THEY, the INDIVIDUAL PERSON, might have some insight that will help you make it even better. That is SO VALIDATING. And if the person knows anything about storytelling, they will be VERY interested in helping you, if this is the attitude you present.
I talked about this aspect of critique groups in THIS YouTube video.
Okay. So let’s say you ARE handling critiques the right way. The problem is something else.
Are you REALLY giving a shit about your reader? Are you trying really, REALLY hard to make your book something that the reader will enjoy? Or are you only writing for yourself?
There is NOTHING WRONG with writing for yourself. There is everything wrong with writing only for yourself, and then also being upset because other people are not connecting with your writing. If it’s just for you, you should not be surprised that other people aren’t really “getting it” or interested in reading more.
YouTube video.
So if all THESE factors are taken care of, and it’s STILL not working, it might be time to face a hard truth.
You might be INTERESTED in creating the best story you can, yes, and you might be TRYING to create the best story you can.
But it still might not be any good.
And in that case, there is no simple solution. You just have to work on your craft. You have to put in the hours. You have to get down the words. You have to dedicate yourself to it.
Here’s some questions you can ask yourself:
HOW MANY WORDS OF FICTION HAVE YOU WRITTEN, TOTAL?
Not on ONE project. I mean EVER.
If you’ve written less than half a million words across all your projects, you’re almost definitely not ready for critique. That sounds absolutely bonkers to some people, but it’s been my experience. I wrote some ungodly amount of fiction, some original and some fanfiction, starting in high school, before I ever started trying to produce something professional.
HOW MANY BOOKS ABOUT WRITING HAVE YOU READ?
If you’ve never read ANY, you’re in trouble. You should be reading them constantly. You should get through several each year. You should bookmark the ones that helped you the most, and you should read them over and over again.
HOW MUCH TIME HAVE YOU SPENT ANALYZING YOUR FAVORITE STORIES?
This should be a constant process. You should be doing your best to analyze the stories you read, and you should be reading the analysis created by other people. 
Do you know why I’ve stayed on Tumblr? It’s because I’ve found more, better storytelling analysis on this website than anywhere else I’ve ever been. There are people here who have written hundreds of thousands of words of ANALYSIS about Harry Potter (not to mention hundreds of thousands of words of Harry Potter fanfic). Same for Lord of the Rings, for the Percy Jackson books, for any hugely popular book series you could name. 
I also highly recommend Crash Course Literature. It’s a good starting place to learn HOW to analyze literature.
HOW MANY STORIES HAVE YOU FINISHED?
Finished, done, finito. You got to the end of the page and typed ‘THE END’ in centered text.
So many beginning writers never FINISH any stories. Or they’ll finish short stories, but never a novel. This is not okay (YouTube video). If you’ve never finished a story before, IT WILL SHOW IN YOUR WORK. You’ve never FINISHED a story, so you don’t know how to START a story that BUILDS towards a good finish.
(This, by the way, could be a factor in your critique group as well. If your group knows you’ve never finished anything, and you’re always bringing them the “first ten pages” of a project you’ve just started, they’ll start to get apathetic towards you. “Oh, great, another new project from Nonny. I’m sure this one will go exactly as far as all the others.”)
You have to put in the TIME to learn how to write. If someone has agreed to offer feedback on your writing, you OWE it to them to be the best writer you possibly can be, ALONE, before you ask for their help.
(YouTube video).
So, there’s your answer, Nonny. It’s not an easy answer, I know. Writing is not an easy gig. There can be all sorts of reasons you could be struggling, and there’s no way to tell which one applies without seeing it for myself.
I hope you’ll explore a few of the ideas I’ve laid out here and see if any of them might apply to you. If they do, try to address them. Don’t give up! You got this.
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Chia Network (XCH) Mining: Guide |Profit | Best Coins | Set Up| SSD & HDD disk
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Chia Network (XCH) Mining: Guide |Profit | Best Coins | Set Up| SSD & HDD disk - Today we will show you how to start mining Chia. You've probably heard about a new virtual coin that claims to be the "Bitcoin killer". For experienced miners, this phrase will cause a skeptical grin. Yes, for over 10 years of the history of the digital industry, many such desperate "matadors" have tried to take the place of the patriarch of cryptocurrencies. They all failed. Some joined the large army of altcoins, that is, digital coins of the second rank, while others have sunk into oblivion forever. Let's look at what the next rival of the Satoshi Nakamoto coin is. Green money for the digital world is the name of the page dedicated to the new Chinese blockchain startup Chia on reddit.com. Chia disk mining became popular even before the coin appeared on exchanges, and this is not at all surprising. Bitcoin steadfastly holds the $ 50,000 bar and many reproach themselves that they have not once mined a few coins for themselves on a regular PC. And then suddenly a magician arrives in a blue helicopter and loudly declares that all is not lost. A new lucrative coin has appeared and mining Chia on SSDs and hard drives will bring you fabulous profits. Chia cryptocurrency mining Chia cryptocurrency mining Chia is one of the newest cryptocurrencies that debuted this year. The project was founded by Bram Cohen (who also invented BitTorrent ) with the main goal of becoming the most energy efficient digital asset. Chia mining farm uses storage resources to process cryptography, rather than the processing power of graphics adapters or integrated circuit devices like more common blockchain currencies such as BTC and ETH. And, so mining Chia coins is a banal plotting, experienced miners will say, so what is revolutionary here? Well, firstly, the requirements for mining Chia are much higher than those of previously launched cryptocurrencies with a similar method of generating new blocks. And secondly, no such project has caused so much hype. Over the past few weeks, Chia's popularity has grown so rapidly that it has caused a shortage of hard drives and SSDs in China that could soon be repeated in the US and around the world. The reason for this is a very well-run marketing campaign. Key points in favor of a new blockchain project: - If cryptocurrencies with no fundamental value, such as Dogecoin , rise in value fueled by the hype (Dogecoin has no limit on the number of coins and can inflate infinitely), then it seems likely that the price of Chia will rise as its popularity grows. The emission of a new digital asset is strictly limited and amounts to 21 million coins, like Bitcoin. - Chia uses the new Proof of Space and Time, or PoST , consensus algorithm , which essentially proves that you have unallocated space on your hard drive / SSD that can be used to create rafts. This is a big improvement, in terms of efficiency, over proof of work. When writing the source code for this cryptocurrency, the no less unique programming language Chialisp was used. Whether Chia will be able to squeeze Bitcoin , or at least take its rightful place among altcoins, is anyone's guess. But let's go directly to the main topic of our review and look at how to start mining the Chia coin. At the time of the review, he had already entered the auction, so we will be able to calculate a very real, and not a hypothetical profit. Chia mining calculator can be opened by following the link https://chiacalculator.com/ . Mining XCH can be compared to farming. The miner downloads specialized software from the official website of the project https://www.chia.net/ru/ and conducts a "sowing campaign" on his storage devices. Each sown sector is called a plot, which in English means "a piece of land", but its owner is called a "farmer." To generate a new block, the system broadcasts a set of codes to the farmers and each of them checks its plot in search of a suitable hash sum. The more “sown fields” you have, the higher the chances of closing the block. But at the same time, your iron must be sufficiently productive, otherwise the process of seeding the rafts will be greatly delayed and farmers with more efficient "agricultural equipment" will constantly outstrip you. When using proof of time (Proof of Time), the period of broadcasting calls between blocks should be as short as possible. After all, proof of time is implemented in practice using a Verifiable Delay Function (VDF). Cryptographic calculations take a certain period of time, but are verified instantly. The key idea of ​​the Verifiable Delay Function is the need to perform sequential computational operations on many parallel nodes, each of which is equivalent. At the same time, energy costs are minimized. The fastest and most powerful nodes of the network will be called Timelords (Time Lords). The developers assume that there will not be very many such VDF servers, which will exclude the appearance of controversial blocks. The fastest timelord will consistently finish first, That is, unlike Bitcoin, which was initially mined on almost any dual-core CPU, the hardware requirements for Chia mining are initially quite high , and with the growing popularity of green coins, they will be even more serious. So what does it take to build a farm? Chia mining hardware Chia mining hardware According to the developers, any user with a desktop computer, laptop, mobile phone or account in the corporate network can participate in XCH farming. You just need to install the necessary software and have enough free space to create at least one raft, and then you can find the hash sum to close the next block and get a reward. Theoretically, this is quite possible, but it happens very rarely. Ready assembly for mining Chia To receive a guaranteed income from mining Chia, you need: - Quad-core processor with a clock speed of 1.5 GHz; - 2 GB of RAM; - Hard disk with a minimum capacity of 1TB. It would seem that everything is very simple and inexpensive, but you are unlikely to earn anything on such an assembly. Here is one of the budget build options for Chia farming presented on the Miningclubinfo forum: - Motherboard the GIGABYTE B550 AORUS the MASTER ; - Processor AMD Ryzen 9 5900X ; - SEAGATE Ironwolf Pro ST16000NE000 hard drive , 16 TB, HDD, SATA III, 3.5 ; - Hard drive WD Purple WD82PURZ, 8 TB, HDD, SATA III, 3.5 ; - SSD SAMSUNG 980 MZ-V8V1T0BW 1 TB, M.2 2280, PCI-E x4, NVMe ; - Memory module PATRIOT Viper Steel PVS464G300C6K DDR4 - 2x 32GB 3000, DIMM, Ret, 2 strips of 32GB each, frequency 3000MHz. With this set of components you can get to work. Although the total volume of hard drives is, of course, small and with a 1TB SSD, 32GB of memory will be used inefficiently. This miner will soon have an urgent need for additional areas for "seeding". Let's take a closer look at the hardware selection process. Choosing an SSD and HDD disk In the XCH mining farm (this is the trading ticker of the Chia cryptocurrency), the most important element is the disk drive. Winchesters smaller than 1 TB are not worth considering . It is not recommended to buy devices with a spindle speed lower than 7200 rpm. We need capacious and fast HDDs with SATA3 interface. They are used directly to create rafts, each of which will be the standard 101.4Gib size. Disks will be formatted with NTFS, APFS, exFAT, ext4 file systems. But the FAT system is not suitable for plotting. SSD drives are used to create temporary files, which are then "seeding". They have faster read / write speeds, which greatly improves your chances of being the first to find the next block. You can buy both SSD with SATA3 interface of any standard size (2.5 inches or M.2), and NVMe SSD connected to M.2. But keep in mind that different M.2 connectors on the motherboard support different types of SSD (both SATA and NVMe). Read the motherboard specification carefully so as not to waste your money . There are also more expensive server drives with increased wear resistance on sale, but we will not seriously consider them for now. It is not known how the fate of this crypto project will turn out, therefore, the costs of creating a farm are greatly overestimated. Also, pay attention to the recording method. It is best to take ordinary disks that work according to the CMR scenario. But drives using SMR are slow and less reliable . The best choice is size 3.5. 2.5 laptop disks have worse mechanics, which means they have less resource. You can still buy a 1Tb WD Purple HDD for 4450 rubles. Larger drives are already slowly snapping up. As for the auxiliary SATA SSD, we advise gamers to leave the models with QLC memory . MLC flash drives are ideal, but TLC-based SSDs can be used to save money. An equally important component is the controller. Firstly, it must support a DRAM buffer, and secondly, it must withstand multiple data rewrites without failures. We can recommend SATA controllers Samsung, Silicon Motion (not XT), Marvell 88SS1074 . If you decide to buy NVMe, then keep in mind that in this type of drives the controller gets pretty hot and requires additional cooling. Otherwise, follow the same requirements as for SATA SSD. To maximize the lifespan of SSDs, it is strongly recommended that you do not fill more than 85% of the total volume. Consider this when buying. And don't forget to buy another additional small SSD that will host the operating system. This is a mandatory requirement, otherwise mining will not start.https://www.youtube.com/embed/bh-lOQ7ligs?wmode=transparent&rel=0&feature=oembed CPU Chia Farm doesn't need an expensive gaming CPU. A stone operating at a frequency of 3 GHz and cooled by an ordinary boxed cooler is enough. It should have a minimum of 4 cores, and preferably 6 (or a maximum of 8), and integrated graphics. Of course, you can connect a video card, but then you will occupy a PCI-e slot, which in the future could be useful for connecting another hard drive. For example, Intel Core i5-9400F BOX RAM Put more memory, minimum 2 GB. But 16 GB is better, and serious farmers immediately put 32 GB. Two 16 GB DDR4 strips with a frequency of 3200 MHz will be enough. Motherboard The most important thing when choosing a motherboard is SATA3 and USB 3.0 support. It should have as many ports as possible for connecting the HDD. Old boards from the secondary market will not work, buy modern ones. For example, MSI Z390-A Pro . Installing the official program So, you decided to start mining the Chia token, built the farm and installed the OS. What's next? Now you need to download a complete copy of the blockchain. Go to the official website https://www.chia.net/ and press the green button " Install Chia Blockchain ". Direct download link for Windows client: https://download.chia.net/latest/Setup-Win64.exe Installing the official program You will see the project page on the Github service, where you can download a full node compatible with your operating system. We must pay tribute to Chia's team, they are not busy with efficiency. The coin has appeared quite recently, and software has already been released for almost all popular axes. Full nodes are available for: - Windows (64bit); - macOS; - Ubuntu / Debian; - CentOS / Red Hat / Fedora; - Raspberry Pi 4; - Docker; - FreeBSD Install; - Ubuntu Binary Install; - OpenBSD Install. For advanced users, there is special software to run the Chia node in a virtual environment, for example, on an Amazon cloud server. Since the Chia code signing certificate is new, the software will be classified as "insecure". You will have to forcibly save the download, and when you start the installer, you will need to select "Additional information" and " Run anyway ". Purse Well, where to store coins, someone newcomers will ask. Like any other cryptocurrency, a full Chia node is a copy of the blockchain and a wallet that will receive rewards after you start mining. Setting up plotting Plotting is divided into two stages: creating parcels or, to put it another way, plotting, and processing parcels. The first step creates all of your evidence of free space by building seven cryptographic hash tables and storing them in a temporary directory. Then this data is sorted and packed in a temporary directory and after that the dataset is moved to the final destination on the HDD. Choosing the size of the raft (plot) First you need to choose a size. The best option is k32, it will take up 108.8GB and will require 256.6GB of temporary SSD space to create it. Specify the number of rafts based on the size of one site and the amount of bins.  You can tune the hardware for maximum performance using the "Advanced Settings" section. To reduce the load on the RAM, you can add more "baskets", that is, split the temporary file into a larger number of fragments. But keep in mind that the more baskets, the stronger the load on the SSD. Therefore, if you have 32 GB of RAM, it is better to reduce the number of baskets, on the contrary, by reducing the number of I / O requests for temporary files. The number of processor threads depends on the number of simultaneously created rafts. 1 section needs 1 stream. It is better not to touch the "Disable bitfield" item. Reverse sorting by bit field is faster and saves up to 12% of the total number of writes, although it requires more RAM. "Queue name" can also be omitted. But when errors appear in the plotting log, the queue name will help you figure out exactly when the failure occurred. Chia Network (XCH) Mining Guide After everything is set up, click " Create a parcel " and the process of creating a raft will be launched. It can last from 4 to 12 hours, depending on the parameters of your equipment. Parallel seeding To get the maximum number of TB per day, you can build several graphs in parallel. The key is to correctly calculate the capacity of your farm based on the size of the parcels, the space for temporary files, the number of processor threads, and the amount of RAM.https://www.youtube.com/embed/dG6yWOjSbFk?start=66&wmode=transparent&rel=0&feature=oembed Popular bugs - Let's talk about the pitfalls that inexperienced users most often come across. - Remember to set your power supply to maximum performance. If the computer goes into hibernation, the process will have to start over. The same goes for blackouts. - The path to the storage and the temporary folder cannot be written in Cyrillic, the program understands only the Latin font. - Be sure to create a separate directory on the disk, you can't just write Disk C, the program will not understand you - Always run the Chia node as administrator. If a failure occurs, then first try restarting the plotting, and if it does not help, delete the program folder in Windows / Users and then start the process again. We have listed the simplest mistakes of beginner miners, let's move on to more complex cases. Error RuntimeError: Unknown exception occurs for various reasons. It can be: - Russian letters to indicate the path to the directory. - Placement of the folder for temporary files on the same disk with the operating system. - Incorrect distribution of iron resources. An error often occurs related to insufficient memory on disk for plotting. Carefully calculate the allowed number of rafts, otherwise at the end of the log you may see the message RuntimeError: bad allocation . On a 1TB SSD, you can create a maximum of 3 parcels at a time. If you did not listen to our recommendations and nevertheless checked the "Disable bitfield" checkbox, then it is quite possible that the error Caught plotting error: Bitfield plotting not supported by CPU will appear . Uncheck this box and you should be fine. It is recommended to check the finished sections for integrity using PowerShell. Open the program and point to: C: Users "Username" AppData Local chia-blockchain app-1.1.2 resources app.asar.unpacked daemon And then rewrite the path, indicating the drive and the name of the folder in which the generated rafts are located. If there are no errors, everything is in order, the "broken" area needs to be re-seeded, otherwise it will not yield a crop. If there is no synchronization, try deleting all available connections in the program interface. They will automatically update and areas synced to the network will be highlighted in green. In principle, you can start creating new rafts even before the end of the synchronization of your node. To speed it up, try opening port 8444 on your computer and on your router. Available exchanges for selling coins As of 05/12/2021, Chia cryptocurrency can be exchanged on the following exchanges: - Gate.io; - OKEx; - XT.COM; - MXC.COM; - BKEX; - DigiFinex; - LBank; - AOFEX; - Bibox. The current exchange rate, current exchange pairs and other information are available at https://coinmarketcap.com/currencies/chia-network/markets . Profitability and payback But is the game worth the candle? How profitable is the mining of this cryptocurrency? Recently, an article was published on the Overloker.ru portal entitled: "It's too late to get Chia Coin." The author calculated that to build the Chia mining farm, which will bring in 1 coin in 18 hours, the farmer must spend at least 1,200,000 rubles or $ 16,263 at the current exchange rate. However, he assumed that one coin would cost $ 30. However, on May 12, one Chia token was sold on OKEx for $ 1069, and a couple of days before that the rate was even higher. The truth and complexity of mining is constantly growing and at the time of this writing, such a farm will mine one coin in three days. But still, the profitability is beyond praise. Smallholder farmers have already started to pool themselves. Look for available ones at https://miningpoolstats.stream/chia . Calculation calculator Сhia mining calculator will help to calculate the current profit. You can find it here . All you need to do is drag the slider and set the number of rafts you are sowing to see the approximate time in which you can earn one coin. Conclusion Whether the Chia cryptocurrency will be able to replace Bitcoin is hard to say. While this is far from a fact, and most likely unlikely. But for a long time already in the blockchain industry there was no project that caused such a violent reaction from the media. At the time of writing this article, the hashrate of this network was 3.88 EB (4019898.88 TB). Three weeks ago, ten times less. If things go on like this, the price of hard drives will skyrocket, and if the project goes bankrupt, then the losses of miners will be enormous. True, it is worth noting that Chia is far from the only crypto coin available for plotting, there are 8 more similar projects. However, you shouldn't expect instant surplus profit. Chia is more and more difficult to mine, equipment is becoming more expensive and liquidity is not too high. If the green coin is listed on Binance and a couple of other reputable exchanges, then you can safely invest in mining, or simply add it to your investment portfolio. However, the opinion of the author of the article should not be considered the ultimate truth. Whether or not to invest in this project is a private matter for everyone. Good luck to you! Read the full article
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gfriendlighting460 · 3 years
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Dating Sites With Trans Option
Brook Shelley’s previous work for The Toast can be found here, and our previous coverage of trans* issues can be found here.
Hearing about people being afraid of or not open to dating a trans person is just one reason why it is so hard to date as a trans person. And even though I have heard it many times before, it is still hard to confront. I looked at eight popular dating sites to see which are the most gender inclusive. Dating only trans people, at least here in my local community, do not seem like a realistic option since we are too few. Finding the right person would be next to impossible. Well, that was my 2 cents on that. I,m actually surprised by the comments so far. TRANSGENDER, PANSEXUAL, LESBIAN, GAY, GENDER-FLUID, Bi-SEXUAL & NON-BINARY DATING SITE & SUPPORT. We are a Transgender, Pansexual, Lesbian, Gay, Gender-fluid, Bi-sexual & Non-Binary dating site where you can find support, make friends, talk to others about their journey, look for love and so much more. Reddit’s r/t4t subreddit is essentially a personals-style online dating forum for transgender people. While it’s not as detailed as more established trans dating sites, this subreddit is designed.
Welcome to lesbian trans womanhood. I know, we aren’t supposed to say that. Welcome anyway. Let’s assume you know two things: that you are a woman, and that you like other women. Good. That’s a fine place to start. Follow along, and we will get you from this humble beginning, to being a real-live dater.
Take a deep breath. Ready?
1. First, lower your expectations. Whatever you think might happen in the next few paragraphs, or in the next few months, expect less.
Dating Sites With Trans Options
This isn’t in reference to any particular difficulty facing trans women, though there are many; it is always helpful to lower your expectations. Low expectations mean high excitement at small success.
For example, if you expect to dance alone at a bar, you will be thrilled to find that someone beautiful is dancing with you. Repeat as needed.
2. Next, create an online dating profile. OkCupid, Match, or Tinder; it doesn’t really matter where, but you’ll need one. This is how you meet shy lesbians. You may be shy yourself. This could be the best place for you.
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3. Spend quite a bit of time agonizing over the photos and your description and hobbies. Be clever. Be charming. Ask a few close friends, “would you theoretically date me based on this profile?” Hear them laugh a little. Tell them, “No, I’m serious. Is any of this good?”
4. Take their advice. If they have no advice, find some other friends. Without them, you will end up posting a photo with kale in your teeth, or where there is clearly a dog using the restroom in the background. You will not notice this on your own.
5. While you wait for responses, go find the queerest bar nearby. Attend events specifically targeted towards lesbians like you. Dance. Get used to dancing. The music will likely not be great. Get used to a mix of pop hits, Shakira, and Bikini Kill. Don’t try to explain why Kathleen Hanna is problematic while dancing.
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6. Wonder, “why do so many of these girls have bow-ties on?”
There is no answer.
7. Assume they must not be able to take them off. Do not offer to help them take their bow-ties off. Just dance away.
8. Flirt. Often.
9. Hone your ability to turn a conversation into a fun tête-à-tête. Read the face and responses of the other people. Assume that at any moment, they might sour, and you will need to disengage. Be lighthearted. Be friendly. Don’t press anyone, and focus on enjoying yourself. Cool people enjoy themselves. Cool people are definitely not sweating horribly, right now, as they dance around the room, hoping for a match. When someone asks how you are doing, never mention the harassment, mis-gendering, or stress you’re going through. They don’t actually want to know that stuff yet. Talk to your aforementioned friends about those.
10. Hear, “wow, you’re tall,” at most of these events. Kiss a few people, gently. Brace yourself for the inevitable pre-hookup question or revelation about your body or identity. Practice explaining why “biological woman” is ridiculous. Use lines like “Of course I’m a biological woman, and not a cyber woman… or a giant snake.” At no point be seen unhinging your jaw to devour a goat.
Also try, “Hi, this is how my body works… and this is what I like.”
11. Be prepared for some rejection at this point. Practice your smile and, “Ok, that’s fine, I had fun,” response to “I can’t sleep with you now,” or “I’m just not attracted to (your genitals),” or “I’m a gold star lesbian, I can’t sleep with you.” You may also hear, “you’re so brave.”
12. Find ways to forgive them in your heart for being such shitheels.
13. Be surprised when not everyone rejects you. Bask in the glow of reciprocal attraction when it does occur – it may be rare. You may want to high-five the women who are still attracted to you, regardless of what you discuss. Resist. High-fives are firmly in second date territory.
14. Check your phone. Oh, your mom called. Call your mom back. Remind her that you won’t be meeting any nice boys because you are a lesbian. Yes, you might want to settle down. No, there’s not much going on lately. Yes, you’re really a lesbian. No, this isn’t a phase. Yes, you did get the dress she sent… it’s… nice. Tell her you love her. Hang up.
15. Check your phone again. There sure are a lot of biologists on your online dating site.
How’d they get access to my karyotype? Did they take a blood sample?
What’s that game? You know the one… Where complete strangers ask you about your genitals? https://gfriendlighting460.tumblr.com/post/655947581619388416/dating-anyone-in-carrboro-nc. You’ll be playing this whether you like it or not a lot more often now. It is not possible to win this game.
Does Tinder Have A Trans Option
16. Use some of your flirting skills from being at the bar while you are online. Realize those skills don’t translate. A lot of people online are too shy to go out, so they will not know how to respond to you. You may be seen as forward, or at least not shy enough. Carry on.
17. Talk about books. Talk about food. Talk about anything but how you’ll probably never meet up, and if you do, there won’t be a second date. There often isn’t a second date.
18. Get ready to hear a lot of very surface-level readings of Judith Butler. Take heed that many of your fellow women have taken exactly one women’s and gender studies course in college, and “know all about being transgendered.” (sic) Be prepared to hear girls talk about how they’re “not really feminists, because they like to have fun.” Feel free to shake your head and pour a drink. Get better at reading through their answers to weed out the ubiquitous racism, transmisogyny, littering, and incompatible goals. Remember that you don’t have to settle.
19. You should probably have a pet. I should have said this at the beginning. Choose: cat or dog. Go adopt your choice animal. Start at the top. I can wait. You may be alone for a while.
20. Find a partner or dater. At some point, you will succeed. You will feel like you won the lesbian lottery. You will be elated in your heart that someone cares about you, and wants to kiss you… like more than once a week. High fives may be appropriate at this point.
These dating sites aren’t just for women either. The detailed description of the freebie is published on the blog. Find society & people themes in the same name category at Template/p Read More. JerkBoy – This app has been called the most honest, accurate dating service out there. It’s a tool for users to showcase. 18-25 years old; 26-39 years old and looking for short-term fun; 26-39 years old and looking for girlfriend material; 40+ years old; The Best Dating Apps For Men Ages 18 To 25 1. Tinder is the most popular dating app in the US. You probably have a buddy who met his girlfriend on it. Step further like for example most dating websites, if you want to actually communicate with other members then you need to subscribe to a membership and you get full benefits of the website. If you're serious then out of those 3 go with Match. You will definitely get hit up, probably too many to count and you'll most likely make a ton of guys wonder why girls never respond hahaha. Dating was created and is run by Dan and a group year techies who truly care about what they do. Security and privacy dating top olds at Teens Town, which is why the olds verifies every member and ensures dating no adult content shows up on the site. Teens Town also every to help you have fun and connect with your fellow teens. ★★★★★ Match.com 4.8/5.0. Our expert ratings are based on factors such as. Best dating websites for 19 year olds.
21. Prepare yourself for anyone you date to be called a chaser. It doesn’t matter if they actually care about you for who you are as a person, there are many who enjoy distilling you to your transgender history. Gird your loins against the barbs flung at you and your partner. Learn to laugh, and to cry. Embrace being a really hot lesbian with a super amazing girlfriend. It’s pretty great.
22. Laugh to yourself at all the ridiculously sad people who would want to hurt you and your partner. Try to not be burned by them with every single uneducated, casual insult. It will sting, but you can be strong.
23. But, most of all, have fun! Being a lesbian trans woman is probably the best thing in the world. Be proud of yourself. Be excited. You get to kiss other girls.
Elite dating site. Questions about online dating? Enjoy our ultimate online dating guide; Interracial Dating. If there were previously stereotypes, preconceptions or presumptions about interracial dating, these outdated attitudes are transforming as more and more American singles are seeking partners from other ethnic groups, and couples’ relationships no longer being defined along racial lines. It’s fair to say that our interracial dating community represents the enlightened majority in American society. A Gallup poll in 2013 found that 96% of black people and 84% of white people approve marriage between blacks and whites. This means that 87% of Americans overall see no problem with black-white marriage, up from a meager 4% in 1958 1. Interracial dating: meeting singles serious about love. According to Statistics Canada, the number of long-term Canadian couples in partnerships that can be described as mixed unions has doubled over the last 20 years. 1 For those in lesbian relationships or gay. Interracial dating in SA: meet singles who suit you. When you search for interracial dating sites it can be tough to find supportive platforms that encourage long-term commitment. At EliteSingles, however, we cater for South African men and women who desire more from love; making us the dating site to use if you’re looking for compatible. Interracial dating: meeting singles serious about love. According to the Office of National Statistics, almost one in 10 people living in Britain is married to or living with someone from outside their own ethnic group. Clearly, there are single men and women in the UK for whom interracial dating.
Brook is a queer trans woman living in Portland who hangs out with her cat, and does all manner of technical magic for a software company. She travels as often as possible, and can often be found on her couch, reading and enjoying a cider.
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