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thedarkone121 · 1 year

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I posted 67 times in 2022

That's 13 more posts than 2021!

35 posts created (52%)

32 posts reblogged (48%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@angelrinisadork

@sensitiveheartless

@minijenn

@ghostthefandomlurker

@radioactivedelorean

I tagged 66 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#my art - 20 posts

#bungou stray dogs - 10 posts

#darky talks - 9 posts

#mdzs - 9 posts

#bsd dazai - 7 posts

#reblog - 7 posts

#darky draws - 6 posts

#fan art - 6 posts

#bsd - 6 posts

#hakuouki - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 87 characters

#how dare you fill me with wonderful fluff and then showcase this in the recent update?!

My Top Posts in 2022:

Man, you have no idea how difficult it was to make an outfit based on Ancient Chinese disciple outfits, while making sure it was formal enough for a heir, and trying to incorporate it into what Jin Yuehua would like herself.

At least I managed to finish on time for her and Jin Ling’s birthday. Happy Birthday, Jin Ling! I have given you a twin sister to butt heads with! 😆

9 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

Mo Dao Zu Shi OC: Jin Ling’s Twin Sister

I have no name for her yet and I am having trouble deciding on her family name since Jiang Cheng has officially took her in and she is now the heir to the Jiang Sect. If anyone could help me with the decision, please.

But hey, I got a design for her that’s not just a concept art. Well, it’s still technically a concept since I didn’t do her full body but I’m feeling this design. It’s really what I wanted for Jiang Yanli’s daughter and Jin Ling’s sister; taking after her grandmother while still having her mother’s looks. Because to me, Jin Ling seems to take a lot after his father.

Some more information about her:

She is the youngest twin, born 8 minutes after Jin Ling. Their birth was widely celebrated, since having boy-and-girl twins was considered the greatest luck for Chinese parents. Almost everyone was in the Cultivation World was invited to their One-Month Celebration.

Including a certain Grandmaster and his Ghost General…

After the deaths of both of their parents, Jiang Cheng had demanded Jin Guangshan to let the twins live under Lotus Pier as his sister’s children. Jin Guangshan only agreed if Jiang Cheng made young sister the heir for Lotus Pier (unofficially banning her association with the Jin Clan) and have Jin Ling return to the Koi Tower at the age of seven for his studies. Jiang Cheng agreed and took them home.

The sister was a lot like Jin Ling in their youth: prideful, short-tempered, and wasn’t afraid to bite people who upset her. She and Jin Ling were known to wrestle with each other when they have sibling squabbles, something that stresses Jiang Cheng out to no end.

Eventually, the sister’s temperament changed. She became much quieter, having a smile that is said to attract eyes. This smile is what the world knows her for; prim, proper, and hiding something underneath it.

But don’t let that smile fool you. Underneath it, she is an eerie replica of her late grandmother. A master of poisons, this sister isn’t afraid to poison someone in order to get information, even playing with them by having the antidote out and ready. They just need to give her what she wants or they can try and take it from her.

The Purple Poison of Yunmeng Jiang is feared throughout her peers. Although Jin Ling would say otherwise because he’s still waiting for his qian. He won that Night Hunt fair-and-square, how dare she—?!

14 notes - Posted November 12, 2022

Honestly, I feel like this has gotten off the rails and my design skills were just spitting out anything they can find.

I’ll still cuddle with these two. I’m definitely going to need it 😆

So, @callimara has created a closed species for her subscribers and me, being someone who needs an animal companion for my existence, I latched on and have never been more happy to be subscribed.

Mo and Amber are two Hydrakes I imagine myself keeping. I want a Guardian breed to keep myself safe while I’m living alone and keep sharks away. But at the same time, I want a Snuggler to cuddle and travel with and Guardians aren’t known to be crowd friendly. Yet, I couldn’t leave my Snuggler alone cause I’m someone who likes to go outside and I need to work as well!

Then Word of God said I could get two. And two I got.

Mo’s design I feel like is the most chaotic in terms of design and personality. She is a companion who I can imagine match my energy when I want to be active, so she’s an endless ball of energy. When she crashes, she crashes HARD and she’ll probably sleep through a lot of the day. I have no idea how she’ll handle plane rides. I based her design off a color palette for a bouquet I found and my college-work brain can not remember the flower her fins were based off. It’s up to you guys, I guess.

Amber is the one who unfortunately suffers through me and Mo’s chaotic sides. She takes her duty of taking care of us very seriously and I can imagine she tries to help me through my overthinking moments by being this big, warm, mattress. She is an amazing bed and has resigned herself to the fact when there’s cuddle time, she will be laid on by me and Mo. Her design I based off a birch tree because I imagine those to be mystical and yet strong at the same time.

Also, these two girls often listen to me ramble about my ideas. They both are engage but Amber hates it when I have an outburst of realization 😆

Thank you, Callimara, for creating a fun species!

16 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

This took way longer than it was supposed to be 😆

Hey, everyone! I’m back with more of my possessed Gregory AU! Fun news, I have a name for Gregory’s Afton!Persona; Twitch! No, not the streaming platform. My friend and I were discussing bunny-themed kid names and this what we came to. You’ll see why in a second.

This AU was based on the idea that since Afton is able to make Vanessa into his Reluctant Follower, it stands to reason he can take control of other people as well. That, and also I have a theory that Gregory was captured in a sense that he would be Afton’s new host in the game. Not sure if it’s true but it’s fun and I enjoy the idea.

Some facts about this AU:

Twitch’s costume is from an old bunny suit that’s been stitched together with different kinds of fabric put together. I wanted to make it feel like it was done by a kid.

Twitch has a tendency to glitch out when gazed upon. Like one second you see the bunny and the next his form becomes all weird like you’re glazing at TV screen.

When looking through Roxy’s eyes, you are able to see Gregory underneath the disguise. However, he has purple eyes…

Gregory IS aware of what goes on around him. The glitches in Twitch’s appearance is often him trying to fight back against Afton’s control.

21 notes - Posted January 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Welp, guess who just got interested in The Owl House.

Season 2 ended and I really need to catch up. If you’re wondering why I only started now, I was given the delightful pleasure of knowing Hunter, who has won my heart and compelled me to not only watch the show but look at fanfiction. Which is what lead me to is hello, my hollow Holofernes by TheAndersonRecord.

People might’ve been wrong about The Collector!Luz but I am officially joining the train of Hunter being possessed because why not? I love seeing sweet boys going through a mental crisis, both from inside and outside influences.

I hope you enjoy my fanart of your work, TheAndersonRecord!

125 notes - Posted June 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #Darky 2022 Tumblr Year in Review

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carlyraejcpsen · 3 years

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alright, i’ve tried to keep quiet because i truly believe in karma and wanted this rp to close through the admin’s own actions and not give them any opportunities to blame it on me instead. it also felt like beating a dead horse, because i was sure they’d close the rp after losing a huge proportion of their active members and the majority of their diversity. however, after seeing multiple people sharing their experiences today, they are still posting promo posts and starting their event. so yeah, here’s my experience with @thevillagerp

NOTE: i no longer have screenshots from my conversations with the admins, as i blocked them when i left the rp for the sake of my own mental health, but i did save the text in my drafts, so the messages below are copy pasted. i have not edited them in any way. They also deleted my original anonymous messages off of their blog.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: racism, very vague allusions to homophobia and transphobia

so i was a member of this roleplay for around two months. during my time there, it was startlingly obvious that white fcs were preferred and prioritised, both from the fact that they got more plots and interactions in general and from the fact that admins never promoted diversity on the main. even now, they repeatedly say they “would still love to receive some more male and non-binary apps” while ignoring that they currently have a ratio of 8 fcs of colour to 24 white fcs. their diversity rules at the time were that 1/3 of a mun’s characters had to be played by an fcoc. so people could easily just play one or two white characters.

a while ago, i sent an anonymous message to the main asking if they had considered perhaps changing this rule to be 2/3 characters instead of 1/3, since there were so few muses of colour in the roleplay (as i said before, they’ve since deleted this from their blog so i cannot provide a screenshot). they responded that they had been thinking of upping the character limit to four instead of three, with a rule that 2/4 must be played by an fcoc. i gave them the benefit of the doubt and the time to enact this change, but nothing happened.

so a few weeks later, i sent them this message on anonymous:

I was wondering if you had thought any more about the diversity rules here? I know you said before that you were considering increasing the character limit, but I noticed that hasn’t happened and I wanted to know if that was a change we’re going to see or if you would consider changing the rules in another way? I’m really disheartened by the lack of diversity in the roleplay

at the time there were 18 characters of colour out of a total of over 60. they responded (again, i’m sorry i don’t have the actual wording since they’ve deleted the messages) that they had thought about it and decided against upping the character limit, but instead would be having a weekly “poc acceptance day,” where they would only be accepting apps with fcs of colour. they also said they were doing this “now that the waitlist was mostly cleared,” which meant that the rp was mostly at capacity anyway, so they needed to look more at how to encourage their existing members to promote diversity, since there weren’t spaces open for new people to bring them in.

i responded with another anon expressing my disappointment and pointing out that they had done more to prevent having too many celebrity characters than too few muses of colour, as at the time they had a ban on celebrity muses. i wouldn’t usually suggest a ban on certain fcs, but as it was something they had done for celebrity characters, then i supposed it was a reasonable option.

they didn’t even respond to this message and instead posted on the main asking me to come off anon to discuss it. so i did, and i sent them the following dm:

i didn’t want to come off anon because i honestly feel really ostracised in this group and didn’t want to make it worse, but i don’t want to drop this issue and you aren’t comfortable addressing it publicly so here we are i guess. like i said in my previous message, i really don’t see how a “poc acceptance day” is going to make anywhere near enough of a difference. people will just wait for the opportunity to play their white characters. there are only 18 characters of colour in a roleplay with over 60 characters. that’s less than a third, which is obviously concerning. what’s even more concerning for me is that these characters are more often than not overlooked. i am often ghosted when plotting, or people don’t even reach out at all when i like plotting calls or intro posts. and then i have to watch characters like leo almost exclusively interact with white women (i’m sure that’s not the only example, but it is the first that comes to mind as he is one of the more active characters).

so this issue goes so much deeper than there just not being adequate representation in the rp. i really tried to help, i suggested making it a rule that 2/3 characters need to be poc in my original ask and you mentioned upping the character limit in response. i was worried that my concerns were being brushed aside, but i waited a while to give you the benefit of the doubt and the space to discuss the issue. so you can understand why it was really upsetting today to learn that the one thing you suggested was dropped and instead replaced with something that is barely scratching the surface of the problem. and i don’t know if it was your intention, but by saying that you were waiting for the waitlist to clear, it comes across as not wanting to receive any backlash from people who would want to join with only white characters. and even if people did want to join with faceclaims of colour, they can’t because the waitlist is cleared. like i suggested, you could change the rules so that 2 out of 3 characters must be people of colour. or, as was your proposed idea, up the character limit to four. you could also put a temporary ban on white faceclaims until the ratio evens out. as i mentioned, it’s really distressing that this was something you were willing to do for celebrity characters, but not to aid diversity.

i also just want to make it clear that these have been the only anons i’ve sent, i know you’ve been getting other ones, but those weren’t from me!!

( for context, they were receiving anons from someone else claiming that they felt left out in the rp ).

i had hoped that coming off anon would show them that this was a very real issue which was affecting their members, as well as giving them a space to discuss it privately instead of on the main. they responded with:

Hi Em, thank you for coming forward. We really, really appreciate it and we understand it’s not an easy thing to do. We also appreciate you flying the flag for diversity so strongly. We can always strive to be better, we are on the same page with you here.

Let us just explain our decision making. Firstly, just to address the waitlist, that was certainly not at all our intention when we brought it up. It was a logistical decision with 5+ applicants having already waited a week for acceptance and aware of their position on a waitlist.

When we decided against upping the character limit (and therefore the 2/4 POC character rule), we thought a POC acceptance day could be a good alternative course of action. In our eyes, this was something that would probably bring more POC characters to the group than the 2/4 rule because we knew there weren’t going to be many muns taking up an additional fourth character. This was a rule we’ve seen other groups enjoy success from so we wanted to try it out here. Plus, we think a day that explicitly highlights diversity every week would bring the message to the forefront of everyone’s minds. As we said, we’re going to monitor this over the next couple of weeks to see if it brings any improvement because we’d really like to have it as an ongoing rule.

The non-POC ban is actually a measure we’ve spoken about too and we are considering putting one in place should this fail. Thank you for raising your concerns, know that we’ve taken them very seriously and we hope that you’ll trust our judgement in trying this rule out first to see where it leads.

first of all, i don’t think i even have to mention the wording of “flying the flag for diversity.” but the real crux of the issue here is that they supposedly wanted me to come off anon to discuss the issue, but instead just explained their idea further and didn’t take anything i said on board. they didn’t even say a single word about how i told them i felt ostracised and regularly got ignored. i knew from speaking to other muns in the rp who played muses of colour (and just from looking at the dash) that they felt the same way too, but of course was only speaking from my own experience.

i thought long and hard about how to respond to this, as i was so disheartened by their unwillingness to listen to their members and the fact that they didn’t care that i felt left out. it felt like they had asked me to come off anon just so they knew who was messaging them and therefore put a target on my back, so honestly the thought of being on the dash or talking to the admins made me incredibly anxious. before i had a chance, however, they responded again with:

Hi hun, we’ve continued discussing this issue over the last couple of days and we wanted to let you know that we’ve decided to put in place a non-POC ban instead. Thank you again for holding a mirror up to the group. We do hope that this will recorrect the balance.

so i waited to see how things would play out. they posted about this new ban here and pinned the post to the top of the main:

[ IMAGE ID: a screenshot from thevillagehq of an admin update, which reads: in the interest of keeping the village a diverse space, we are currently only accepting applications for POCs. please note that any apps or reserves submitted to us for faceclaims that are not POCs will be deleted. we will lift this rule once we see fit.

thank you for your understanding and your efforts in making this group a brighter, more inclusive and diverse place for all. /END ID ]

this rule remained in place for around two weeks, during which time they made almost no effort to promote it. the above post was pinned to the main page, but that was the only mention of the ban anywhere on their page, they didn’t update the rules page or even put a note on the application page about it. during this two week period, the admins posted 10 promo posts, none of which suggested fcs or even mentioned the ban or diversity at all. the ban was then lifted suddenly when the pinned post was removed and the admins just went back to accepting apps with white fcs. the ratio had only evened out in those two weeks (from 18 out of 65 to 24/50) because of people going inactive or leaving, and there was nothing put into place to continue to promote diversity after the lift of the ban. in the three days after the ban was lifted, the admins posted over 10 promo posts, the same amount they had posted during the entirety of the ban. it was clear that they had no intention of actually making changes in their rp and had only done so because i refused to drop the issue.

again, i thought a lot about what i wanted to message them. i knew at this point that they didn’t want to make any real changes, but i still felt like i had to make it clear to them how disappointing their actions were. once again, i was messaged before i even had a chance, this time for bubbling.

as you can see in the above correspondence, i had told the admins point blank that i felt left out and ignored in the rp because of the characters i played (aubrey plaza, mj rodriguez and keiynan lonsdale fcs. all of my characters were queer and used either she/they or they/them pronouns). as a general rule, the only people who wanted to write with me and have interesting plots with me were people who played other muses of colour. the rp had a rule that you must reply to 3+ muns on every character, which i had been doing. i had only been back from my hiatus for a few days at this point and had responded to 6 different open starters the day prior. their message to me read:

Hi hun. There’s something we wanted to address to you directly. It’s been expressed to us by multiple members during these last few weeks that they have felt excluded by your character within the group, especially when it comes to the friend bubble that has formed between Mars, Bowie, Luvena, Asher and others.

While we encourage the development of friendships and trust that this isn’t intentional, we have a zero tolerance for bubble roleplaying at The Village. We are aware that our three mun activity rules have been met by all parties involved, however, bubbling is usually a little more nuanced than that and it seems it has unfortunately begun to create a bit of a divide within the group.

We have already issued individual warnings to a few people within the bubble, however with multiple members still expressing their concerns to us, we decided it would be better to address the group as a whole. We hope that by pointing this out to you, you will try and branch out to your fellow members a little more from now on - and try and be a little more inclusive when it comes to everyone else in the group.

We take such matters very seriously as admins, and while we hope it won’t have to come to this, there will be consequential steps taken should we not see any changes in your interactions in the weeks to come.

as you can imagine, i was incredibly upset to receive this message after already telling them i didn’t get plots from many of their members and they had done nothing. even people who i had previously messaged continued to only write with the same few white characters. i don’t deny that we definitely had a friendship group between our characters, but there were multiple people in that roleplay, including the admins, who only cared about ship plots or plots with the same few muns. me and other people who received the same message had all previously told the admins that people aren’t plotting with us and gotten ignored, so receiving this message made it clear that they neither cared about us nor wanted us in their rp. and so i responded as below:

yeah i literally told you i felt left out because there are multiple people only writing with white characters and you never addressed it, so this message is honestly insulting. i have reached out to almost every new member, responded to multiple open starters and have tried to plot with as many people as possible. like i told you, i am often left on read or people don’t even message me at all. if people do message me, i am usually expected to put in all of the effort and if people aren’t interested in actually developing plots with me then i am obviously not going to force my characters on them. all of my characters are queer, non binary people of colour and the harsh truth of this roleplay is that people don’t care about them. i even wrote out a whole list of 20 detailed suggested connections in an attempt to get more plots and nothing came from that either. i’ve even gotten anonymous hate saying that offering to explain my characters’ pronouns was “patronising,” which i didn’t feel like i could approach you about because, when i told you about how i’m feeling excluded, you didn’t care.

so if i only have actual plots with the people who actually care about my characters, i make no apologies. i also don’t even have threads with half of the characters you named, asher being the only one, and have literally only just come off hiatus. so please explain how i am bubbling, because this really just feels targeted at this point.

you’ve made it endlessly clear that this rp isn’t a safe space for people who want to play diverse characters. the main was practically silent while you had a ban on white faceclaims, which you never actively promoted, and then you dropped that suddenly without putting anything else in place. you also deleted my initial anonymous messages asking about diversity as if you were trying to hide that there was ever an issue. you turned anonymous messages off, so that no one can safely criticise you. because i did that off anon and ever since it has felt like there is a massive target on my back. my characters have been “accidentally” on the activity checks multiple times despite me being on hiatus (people get a notification that they were tagged even if you remove their name from the list btw). plus when i asked for an extension on my hiatus, you said that you would allow it “just this once” which now makes me feel like i can’t come to you if i’m busy. right now, for example, i am in the middle of moving house, but i’m also stressed about trying to stay active because you have made yourselves completely unapproachable.

the ratio only evened out slightly because members left. then suddenly after the ban you’re posting multiple promo posts a day??? you couldn’t get more obvious. i came to you about diversity in good faith, hoping that it was something you were unaware of, but you have made it abundantly clear that you actively do not want to promote diversity in your roleplay, we are just here to be witnesses to your ship. there are multiple members who are actually bubbling who have been brought to your attention, but nothing has been done. leo continues to only write with the same three white and white passing characters. charlotte pretty much only appears to write with leo and post a vague “message me for plots” post that wasn’t even tagged. both of you only put effort into your ship threads with each other and the occasional text threads. even with something like group events: while i’ve been here, there’s been a pride event that neither of your characters were even in new york for (an event where i was the only one reaching out and posting multiple starters, by the way); there was no event last month, and this month all you’re talking about is this housewarming party.

i’m really disheartened that it’s come to this, but i can’t be here anymore. please post unfollows for all my characters. you’ve said multiple times that we should trust you as admins, but this message shows again that i simply can’t do that. from the disregard of trigger warnings, to the way you treated being held accountable for the lack of diversity, to how you respond to people asking for hiatuses, this isn’t a safe space. even if i stayed, the target you have placed on me is making it insufferable to just write my characters in peace.

the other muns who received the same bubbling message (copy pasted btw, we all got the same one word for word) all responded with their own concerns and criticisms in responses of a similar length to mine. none of us received a reply, our unfollows were just posted the next day without any further responses from the admins. a few of the other members who had written and plotted with us chose to leave as well, which the admins wrote off as us just dragging them with us as opposed to them being able to make their own decisions and being aware of the situation (which was incredibly obvious. no promotion of a white fc ban, suddenly being active on the main once they try to stealthily drop the ban, then the majority of their muses of colour leaving???)

i haven’t paid the rp much attention since i left, as i mentioned above i blocked the main and the majority of the members just for my own mental health. but from a quick scroll through today i can see that the only change in diversity rules is that now instead of your third character having to be a poc, it is now your second. however, you still only have to have 1 character out of 3 have a fc of colour. so very little has been done, but of course i’m not surprised in the slightist.

these admins don’t want diversity in their roleplay. if you play any character who isn’t a rich, white, cishet neurotypical, please avoid it at all costs. it’s not in any way a safe environment.

#rpc #rpt #rp #thevillagerp #hope this makes sense i think there's a lot that needs context and hopefully i did a good enough job explaining #sorry to my non rp followers this blog is such a mess

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snifflesthemouse · 3 years

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Why isn’t the second-born of the second-born listed on the Royal website’s Line of Succession Page? Still yet?

Hello and Good Day! I hope this post finds you all well, happy, and healthy. As for this author, please rest assured my silence has nothing to do with the content of this space and everything to do with personal preferences. In other words, I have been absent simply because I wanted to take a break from it all. During this break, there have been plenty of things worthy of discussion.

However, many of those discussions are discussions we’ve already had before, long before the press decided to make it officially newsworthy. It would seem the news and media are slow to catch onto what we’ve ALL known for quite some time. For example, we all knew the couple were planning money moves and business dealings long before the official “We quit!” announcements. We already knew, long before the news started discussing it, that the couple were trying to monetize their links to the Royal Family. And we all already knew that bullying claims and horror stories existed long before any official third-party investigations. This post will focus on the big question(s) of late: Why hasn’t the second-born of the second-born been added to the official Royal Family Line of Succession list?

The Royal Line of Succession (found here: https://www.royal.uk/succession) still suggests the second-born of the second-born is not in the official line. This could all very well be a big misunderstanding. Occam would suggest the simplest solution is the correct solution, right? So, the simplest solution would be that IT (or the responsible party for managing changes to the Royal UK website) hasn’t got around to making the changes to the Line of Succession.

According to the Mirror, (article link: https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/royal-familys-website-yet-add-24565116) updates or changes to the line of succession page can vary. It took 12 days for HRH The Prince Louis of Cambridge to be added. It took 15 days for Master Archie Mountbatten-Windsor to be added. Master August Philip Hawke Brooksbank was added to the official line of succession page 61 days after his arrival. The article didn’t mention how long it took after Master Lucas Tindall was born for his name to be added to the page.

The important fact, though, IS that both August and Lucas are on the list. Neither child has been christened in the Church of England. August’s christening had to be rescheduled. Lucas’s christening has yet to be scheduled or announced. It is worth noting, however, that Zara Tindall is not a working royal. Her first two children, Mia and Lena, were both christened at St. Nicholas’s Church in Gloucestershire several months after they were born. Both christenings were privately held with Her Majesty the Queen present. The godparents weren’t made public, either; yet it is known Prince Harry was named as one of the godparents for Lena.

It has been suggested Zara and Mike will follow suit with Lucas and hold a private christening at St. Nicholas’s Church in the near future. Some even suggest it will be around Christmastime when they do so, and that the Queen will be present for the christening. The Queen was suspected to attend the christening for August at Windsor before the worldwide bug caused the event to be rescheduled. The point of all this is that being christened has NOTHING to do with being added to the line of succession. We can see that is true since Lucas and August are yet to be christened.

According to Tatler, (article found here: https://www.tatler.com/article/surrogacy-and-peerages-legal-issues-family-law-marchioness-of-bath) titles and succession rights rely on the terms of the original grant. When it comes to the line of succession for the Royal Family, the royal.uk website explains clearly what requirements must be met for someone to hold a spot in line. These requirements have changed very little over the centuries. For someone to be in the line of succession, they must be legitimate-born Protestant descendants of the Princess Sofia, Electress of Hanover. Before the law changed, male descendants took precedent over females. Children born AFTER 28 October 2011 no longer adhere to the male-preference.

When the laws changed, with them also changed who needed consent from the Sovereign to marry. The updated laws stated only the first six in line to the throne needed Sovereign consent to marry. The law also changed the rules against descendants marrying Roman Catholics. Now, a descendant of Princess Sofia can keep their spot in the line of succession if they marry a Roman Catholic. When one thinks about it, it would seem like Her Majesty could predict the future.

The changes to the law essentially made sure that any female children of Prince William’s wouldn’t be knocked out of place. It also ensured Prince Harry would have to get permission to marry. However, nothing much else changed regarding the rules. So, any child added to the line of succession still needed to be a descendant of the Princess Sofia, Electress of Hanover. They had to be Protestant (only the Monarch need to be in communion with the Church of England), and they had to be legitimate. What exactly dictates legitimate, though?

Legitimacy requires the children be born to married Protestant parents, one of which who also descend from Princess Sofia. Therefore, children born out of wedlock are ineligible. Children born of surrogacy, regardless of the type of surrogacy used, are treated like adopted children. Adopted children are ineligible for the line of succession. Which brings us to the next point.

Master Archie Mountbatten-Windsor is in the line of succession. This tells us that he is a legitimate heir to the line of succession. So, he was born to married Protestant parents, one of which is a direct descendant of the Princess Sofia. Now, I’ve seen the theories regarding Archie. That’s a hot button topic for many. But the fact remains he is in the line of succession. There are several unanswered questions surrounding his birth. As I’ve mentioned before, the easel announcement had to have been created specifically for his birth since the document format was entirely different. No lines were even placed because there were never going to be any signatures.

If Archie were born with the use of a surrogate, it would mean one (or more) of the following:

1. The Royal Family either knew from the get-go and facilitated a cover-up

2. The Royal Family didn’t (or doesn’t still) know anything is amiss

3. The Royal Family learned about the surrogacy AFTER the fact, and the decision to leave Archie in the line of succession was a strong-armed, forced decision put upon the Royal Family

a. If this is the case, it would mean nobody saw #6 or his wife in private, behind the scenes to notice something was amiss

b. The Royal Family DID see the duo and caught on, deciding to distance themselves from the whole ordeal

c. It would also suggest Megxit was more about them saving face and ridding themselves of the deceitful duo now residing in Montecito.

4. The Deceitful Duo lied and deceived everyone, kept a distance from everyone, and used their “rift” with the other Royals as an excuse to keep them at bay.

Think about it. Buckingham Palace botched the announcements. First, they announced the couple were in labor in the afternoon, even though Archie was born early on that morning. The birth announcement/easel wasn’t signed, and it was entirely changed to fit the situation. Then, there was that questionable tweet from Kensington. Coupled with the alleged statement from the alleged Doctor’s husband that his wife did not deliver the child.

Now, either Archie’s mother saw an opportunity to fuel rumors, speculation, a family rift, etc. and decided to purposely make everything mysterious to drum up drama and attention. Or… the truth is there is a coverup at play. We may never know. But it does speak volumes to how things are playing out now with their second child.

Their second child was born in California on 4 June. There are already stories making the rounds regarding the second-born. First, it was #6 demanded a private christening at Windsor with the Queen in attendance. Then, it was #6 was supposed to acquire the baptismal gown and bring it back to California, so the child could be baptized stateside. Allegedly, the Queen said, “NO, NO, and NO!” to all of the demands (i.e. private Windsor ceremony, borrowing the gown, etc.).

New Idea reported the gossip (article found here: https://www.newidea.com.au/lilibet-christening). Saying all those “No’s!” enraged the couple, so they are banning Royals from the christening and having their own private ceremony stateside. Potentially, even having a Roman Catholic christening. That would end up being the perfect coverup…

If they decided on a Roman Catholic christening, they know it would force the second-born out of her spot in line. It would also become the scapegoat excuse. They could say the cruel Royals forced their hand, in turn forcing them to forfeit their second child’s spot in line. The same couple obsessed with the titles, who also denounce needing titles to serve since service is universal, would have the perfect excuse. Nobody would question it further (in their own minds, anyway).

But all that is speculation. Let’s look at facts. Facts state that a child must be legitimately born to a descendant of the Princess Sofia and baptized as Protestant. That is all. The disqualifiers are being born out of wedlock, being adopted, or being born of a surrogacy (again, regardless of the type of surrogacy). Children born of surrogacy are treated as adopted children. A child could be 100% conceived from both married parents’ gametes (meaning the child was conceived using both parents’ egg and sperm) but carried by a gestational surrogate… AND STILL be disqualified from succession rights. The law sees it that the surrogate carrying the genetic child of the married Protestant parents breaks the chain of descent. These are the facts of law.

So, whether the omission of the latest Montecito Mansion addition is a snub, the result of someone in a tech department somewhere failing to get around to changing the official webpage, or legitimate, we may never know for certain. Who knows? Maybe time will prove us all wrong, and the omission will be amended on the website. What we do know for certain, however, is being christened isn’t a prerequisite. This is true because, as of today right now, 2 of the 22 names on the line of succession are not christened. Prince Louis wasn’t christened within 12 days of his name being added, either. Nor was Archie christened within those 15 days of being added.

And remember… a DNA test would only prove whether a child is genetically its parents. A DNA test doesn’t prove whether the child is born naturally, via c-section, surrogate, or anything else. DNA only declares biological relations. It declares the “who” but not the “how”.

I’ve listed several websites that I have pulled information from below for anyone interested.

It’s also worth a look to see how much the Montecito Muppets try so hard to copy Zara and Mike Tindall. You see, Zara and Mike Tindall didn’t do a formal photo call for the birth of any of their children. No pictures on the steps of the hospitals. Mia (the oldest of Zara and Mike’s children) was introduced to the world via a photo spread with Hello Magazine. The couple chose to do the photo shoot, as well as being on the cover of the magazine, because they felt people wanted it. They did the shoot as World-Class athletes, not as Royals. Lena was introduced in an advert for Land Rover’s all-terrain pram. The announcements for Lucas (both the pregnancy announcement and the birthing announcement) were made by Mike on a Rugby podcast.

Zara and Mike Tindall, being non-working Royals, must make their own money. They have no titles. Their children have no titles. They have no Sovereign Grant money. They have no Royal Protection Officers protecting them 24/7 either. Their children were christened in private, and the godparents weren’t made public. Well, except Prince Harry was named as Lena’s godparent. He was married at the time of Lena’s christening. His wife was pregnant at the time, too. One wonders if the wife was also named as a godparent. One also wonders if the wife got the idea of half-in-half-out from seeing how successful The Princess Royale’s children have been in life sans titles.

It’s like they saw these hard-working people who happened to be related to the Monarch, who just so happened to be of Royal blood and descent. Who didn’t have to answer to the public as much as senior “working Royals” because they didn’t take tax dollars. But the truth is, they can never have what they envy so much about The Princess Royal’s children. They lack the talent, skill, grace, and understanding that The Princess Royal instilled in her children. That’s why they constantly depend on “bombshells” for attention and revenues. But that itself is a discussion all its own…

ARTICLES FOR YOUR INTEREST AND CURIOSITY:

https://www.express.co.uk/news/royal/1415464/zara-tindall-princess-eugenie-royal-baby-news-christening-tradition-evg

https://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/news/celebs-tv/inside-two-cotswold-churches-fit-5544053

https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/royal-baby-christening-traditions-gowns-24301504

https://celebrity.land/en/royal-fans-should-prepare-to-wait-for-glimpse-of-princess-annes-first-grandson-lucas-tindall/

https://www.express.co.uk/news/royal/1462070/zara-tindall-news-mike-tindall-lucas-mia-lena-royal-baby-talk-interview-royal-family-spt

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-9777651/Princess-Eugenie-forced-cancel-Windsor-christening-son-August-following-Covid-scare.html

https://www.history.com/topics/british-history/royal-succession

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2013/20/enacted

https://www.royal.uk/succession

https://www.tatler.com/article/surrogacy-and-peerages-legal-issues-family-law-marchioness-of-bath

https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/cambridge-law-journal/article/abs/significance-of-status-and-genetics-in-succession-to-titles-honours-dignities-and-coats-of-arms-making-the-case-for-reform/3B2FBB705EEFCE82E04E80002D4D486A

https://www.thejournal.ie/royal-inheritance-succession-explained-701049-Dec2012/

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/royal-familys-website-yet-add-24565116

#line of succession #megxit #yankeewally #legality #why

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megashadowdragon · 3 years

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**1.**Punching Gilgamesh the moment you are summoned/enter a fight/enter a room is not reasonable and should not be done at any time -Gudao

1a. Not even when he barges into the Camelot Room and threatens to everyone, especially when he does it to make your female counterpart marry her -Gudao

1b. Apparently PTSD is not a viable excuse to punch someone when you see him harassing someone. Noted.

2. Just because I am a King, does not mean I can give people nicknames. Makes me wonder how Gareth felt about being called Best Boy by Merlin.

3. Eating contests are apparently not allowed, seems food shortages are common with my counterparts.

4. As it turns out, screaming "To Valhalla" is not the best idea when you step onto Iskandar's Chariot. Especially so when you are right in front of the enemy.

5. Frankenstein is not a doll, do not dress her up. No Arthur, not even if she tilts her head and makes cute growls -Gudao 5a. Okay! Only if its a sundress! -Gudao

6. Getting together four of my other counterparts and forming the Saber Rangers is not allowed, especially if we have Excalizords. Seems the other servants aren't fond of needlessly big robots that take too long to combine.

7. Motorbikes are not to be used at any point or time in Chaldea, no, not even when Iskandar decides to hold the "Chaldea Grand Prix" -Da Vinci

7a. THE SAME GOES FOR OTHER VEHICLES YOU MONGRELS, UNLIKE YOU FUCKS, SOME OF US NEED BEAUTY SLEEP AT 3 AM! -Gilgamesh

8. Just because I can use a sword, doesn't mean I am allowed to attack my Cu Chulainn with it. I swear, he walked into it.

9. Apparently I am not allowed to compliment people? Turns out after I left the beach where I hung out with a sweetie named Kiyohime, along with master, Kiyohime attempted to burn someone alive because I said that master looked like a dashing man. I highly doubt she did.

9a. The smell is still stuck to my trunks Arthur -Gudao

10. My liege... My OTHER liege, please don't ever get Red Saber to sing "Total Eclipse of the Heart" again when I am about to utilize Galatine -Gawain

11. We know you are fascinated in other cultures, but please. Stop talking to the Servants of France about Sasaki Kojirou, we don't know if you made up his nickname, but he is not the "Savior of France" - Jeanne D'Arc

12. I would suggest that you stop entering the Camelot Room by screaming "Where is my love! Guinevere!", while it as funny once or twice, I can't stand to see either Lancelots' become depressed anymore -Arturia Altria

13. No offense... But please stop patting my head so much, I know you are basically my Uncle, but people are getting the wrong idea -Mashu

14. While Proto League is an acceptable nickname for the servants of your war, please don't ever enter a fight and scream it out again. We know you enjoy it, but it can get obnoxious after a while - Random Mob 1

15. Proving that I am male by either fighting or pantsing myself is no longer allowed after Heracles decided to do the same thing when a recently summoned Shakespeare made him question his own gender -Da Vinci

15a. Having the entire male team to pants themselves in front of the enemy is not a viable tactic against Archers, no matter what you watched beforehand and despite how fun it is -Robinhood

16. Just because Merlin suggested it, I shouldn't instantly do it. Its odd, almost like no one trusts Merlin, he seems just like my one.

17. "I saw a pest" is not a viable reason to drop a Corrupted Grail into the Babylon Room, we understand your dislike towards the King of Heroes, but Ishtar and Ereshkigal were caught up in the rage.

17a. "I was bored" is not a viable excuse to kiss a female servant while under the effects of Merlin's illusionary spell, Gudao has yet to leave his... specially enduced Coma.

17b. "I saw this scene-" is not a viable reason to go to a prior singularity and ask Muramasa to create a specific weapon, it is time wasting, no matter how strong the weapon is.

18. Suggesting to Rayshift to the point before someone dies is not a good idea, no matter how much fun it is for you to watch the "Crazy Murder Loli" die.

18a. Getting Fou'd is not a good reason to Rayshift back to your fight against Beast VI just so you can "Finish the Fucker Off".

19. Using a voice manipulator made by Merlin is not a good way to get people to be afraid when you shout a noble phantasm.

19a. Shouting "Stella" is not allowed, Arash prematurely shot off his Noble Phantasm while training and now we have to resummon him.

20. Just because we have a Simulation Room, does not mean I can alter the device to allow me to see someone from the past.

20a. We know you miss her, we do too. If you want to speak, you can come talk to us -Proto League

21. Trying to host an "Engry MIYA" talk between Nameless and Alter is not a good idea, just... Don't.

22. While having a Picnic is fun, please don't host them in the middle of a fight.

23. Just because a rabbit killed Gawain in a movie, does not mean you can threaten to cook Fou alive.

24. We know you love kids but come on, you can't just take Nursery Rhyme and Jack out to "Play Fetch" with the Dragons in France every after-noon.

25. Blaming someone that isn't even a servant isn't a viable way to shift blame.

26. I've been banned from the Kitchen, apparently forcing my way in and cooking the meals before Nameless is not a good idea. He looked ready to cry.

26a. Turns out mentioning the fact that Muramasa was far more willing to let me into his kitchen when I visited him was not a good idea. I don't think Nameless likes me much.

26b. "Just because I have the alcohol" is not a good excuse to get a few of the servants including Mashu drunk at dinner.

27. Just because you technically existed before Back to the Future 1 and 2, does not mean you can threaten to sue the creator, even if you can go back in time freely.

28. NO, NEVER DO THAT AGAIN, NOT EVEN IF KIYOHIME ASKS NICELY, WE SHALL NEVER REPEAT THE EVENTS OF YESTERDAY AGAIN.

29. "Look what I found" is a sentence that I am never allowed to speak when I am holding something bigger than my head or smaller than my hands.

30. Turns out that breaking my own arm is not the best way to get Nightingale to calm down. Never thought Merlin would be wrong.

31. "Sure you can touch my Excalibur" is not the best way to differentiate between Arturia's Excalibur and my own when someone asks to hold it.

31a. "But mine is bigger" is not a good response when Arturia talks about how easy her seals are to remove from her Noble Phantasm, nor is it alright to use when talking about when how she made Mordred.

32. Stealing Gilgamesh's potion of youth and putting it in the Soup that EVERYONE ended up eating is the easiest way to have myself barred from missions for a week.

33. Just because people are afraid of it, doesn't mean you should hug it. Not even if Merlin says to.

34. Just because someone stole your food, does not mean you should "Call in a favor" and have Elizabeth sing until someone gives up who stole it

34a. Update: The above applies to Nero as well.

35. Just because I have an innate fear of the Lancer version of my female counterpart, does not mean I can steal her horse and run away because of that fear.

36. Making King Hassan say "Omae wa mou shindeiru" is not allowed, especially if you reply with "I'm already dead" just to mess with him.

37. You are fond of Mordred, we understand. But please stop teasing her. Calling her cute will be her death - KotR

38. We understand that being locked in a single room with Nobunaga can be hard, but saying it was like prison is not fair.

38a. Quoting an abridged anime is not allowed, especially if it has "Sluts" and "Prison" in the same sentence, we still don't know where you got that swim team outfit.

38b. Making a mini Excalibur and saying "Blade of Promised Prison Riots! SHANKCALIBUR" is not allowed at all, Edmond almost had a heart attack.

38c. It is noted that the Arthur and Nobunaga were almost forced to kiss, but utilizing time manipulation to see Romani's death and threaten him with "Spoilers" is not allowed.

39. Just because Merlin asked, does not mean you should dress up as a "Cutesy Idol" and perform a song with a voice changer on in front of a camera for his "Magi*Mari" stream, Romani has yet to heal from that wound.

40. Looking Mordred in the eye and saying "Mordred, I am your father" is not allowed, especially when you have her surrounded by all the versions of her "Father", even the ones that just look like "Him".

41. "I solomly swear I am up to no good" is not what you say while standing behind the Director in the Lost Room, she died once already, we don't need her worrying about what you will do.

41a. "Remember that time you became a Loli" is not to be said around Olga Marie after what happened after she was... Killed.

42. Quoting Kamina from Gurren Lagann is banned, especially after everyone believed you were actually erased from the throne. Only to find you a month later taking off an invisibilty cloak and sneaking into the mens bathrooms to shave.

43. Anime is fun to watch, but please. Stop trying to explain why a certain character would be within the Throne of Heroes.

43a. Stop. Asking. When. I. Will. Summon. ISSEI HYOUDOU! -Gudao

43b. BOOSTED GEAR SCALE MAIL! -Arthur

43c. BOOSTO? -Siegfried

44. Valentines is a wonderful thing, we get it. But making everyone in Chaldea chocolate by going around and hunting in various areas is not needed, we have too much already.

45. Stop Rickrolling, that was so early 2000s, get with the golden times old man -Kintoki

45a. EX-

46. Commenting on the impractical armors of the female knights that walk around is not needed, we have gotten complaints about how they feel harassed -Staff Member

46a. I just wanted to help out... -Arthur

47. I am not to sing anything ever again, the reason isn't because I am bad, no. Everyone agrees I am quite good. But its the genre I sing coupled with my Charisma rank. Seems love songs should not be sung. How sad.

48. Just because I have cat ears, does not mean you should give me Catnip - Atalanta

48a. The same was repeated for Alter.

48b. Along with Tamamo Berserker.

49. "Merlin told me to do it" is no longer an excuse that is accepted, even if he did make you do it.

50. LITERALLY ALL THE THINGS ON THIS LIST ARE BECAUSE OF MERLIN, STOP LISTENING TO HIM.

51. I'm only responsible for a quarter of these, stop blaming me for your troubles, Normies -Merlin

Kiyohime asks Arthur what to do to catch Gudao's attention. Arthur tells her to turn into his most cherished person. She turns into Gudako and tries to force Gudao into sex.

#fgo #fate grand order #fgo fanwork #fate/grand order #arthur pendragon #fate arthur pendragon #proto arthur #prototype arthur pendragon #fate prototype #f/go

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shoezuki · 3 years

Text

This is a post on the cheating accusations around dream mostly surrounding his response video.

If you don’t want to see this or any of these posts then blacklist the tag #discourse

SO I’ve been doing a lot of digging into what dream has said in his response to Geosquare’s original video and report, which was compiled and conducted by the Minecraft Java mods on speedrun.com.

I won’t talk about that original report in detail, but basically: the mods came to the conclusion that Dream had a 1 in 7.5 trillion chance of getting the pearl bartering rates and the blaze drop odds that he did within the 6 streams he did. As in, someone would need that luck to replicate what dream got. Therefore, he cheated.

I’m going to put this into a sort of ‘point form’ in according to topic, attempting to put it in chronological order.

Dream’s Initial Tweets

Ok so first like. these are bad. these tweets are what he said (on twitter, excluding in the speedrunning discord) directly after the video was Uploaded to Geo’s channel.

worth noting he did apologize later, although i wanted to talk about these two instances so i felt the need to include it.

there’s a lot of interesting wording in the apology tweet itself too. I personally find that when he apologizes he tends to still be very subtextually angry in them with the tone, but more specifically. where he says ‘although i have reason to be upset’, that’s kinda weak and really unneeded. Alongside the ‘intense criticism’, it reads as him trying to say he’s still in the right. kind of like “im sorry i was rude even though I had reason to be rude’. Its an apology sure but he’s not saying sorry for how he really reacted; its justified to him.

Dream’s Response Video

Dream posted a response on his side channel DreamXD on the 22nd, along with the report he had a supposed astrophysicist conduct. I’m going to talk about the report separately from the video for reasons I’ll explain.

Frankly, the video doesn’t really summarize or explain the report in a meaningful way. At most, it takes some points from it but tends to twist the numbers around, misunderstand the probability and math, and also what the report itself concludes.

Essentially, dream’s video insists that the numbers found by the mods are wrong and therefore he didn’t cheat at all, yet the report concludes that the numbers found by the mods weren’t entirely accurate, however they’re still extremely unlikely. This is also all under the assumption that the report is entirely correct (ill say how its not next)

His first point is that only his 1.16 run (that was at 5th place two months ago, would have now been 16th) was deemed cheated. This is true; the mods have said that he isnt banned outright and theres no reason to question the legitimacy of his 1.15 runs.

He also concludes that Geo’s statement that Dream didn’t cooperate with them, and that he deleted 1.16 mod folders, was false. This one is a little more complicated. It could more be chalked up to a miscommunication, although it’s relevant. Geosquare posted screenshots of the specific conversation they had:

Essentially it wasn’t entirely clear, i can understand how geo and the mods interpreted it in such a way. Altho April added in a quote retweet thread that dream didn’t supply the folder she asked for, so he didn’t supply everything they asked for like he states in the video

Essentially: yeah, misleading and weird on both ends. I dont think this is really anything quantifiable, although dream talked about this in the video heavily.

Out of this though, Geo DID correct himself in the description of the mods’ video. Dream shows this in his own response, but it crops out some of what geo says. here’s from dream’s video

that Update 2 is where he corrects himself. literally why the fuck would you crop it like this and put it in the video i mean this looks so weird and genuinely doesnt provide anything. Here’s what geo actually said

Dream specifically cut it before the line where geo mentions how he said he deleted his specific 1.16 speedrun profile. This one is just so dumb to me. I’d say ‘why not include that’ but either i feel its a) so there’s no potential for people to say what he had actually said could be interpreted otherwise easily or b) doesnt want people to know he got so upset he deleted files (ego wise yknow). Again, I dont think this is definitive of anything but god. it feels scummy lmao

The Video: Incorrect Representation of His Own Report

Dream straight up doesnt present the report’s numbers properly. In fact it makes the entirety of his visuals forfeit, i.e. the gold block analogy that goes on for like 20 minutes.

The mods said his luck was 1/7.5 trillion. Dream’s report says its 1/10 million (with the addition of 5 other streams) or 1/100 million (only the 6 streams).

I’ll only consider the 1/10 mil odds, since its all dream really brings up. but Basically; there’s not much difference between 1/10 million and 1/7.5 trillion.

Dream says that the difference is 7.5 trillion minus 10 million, aka 7.4999 trillion. This is what his entire visual with the gold blocks is based on. This is absolutely incorrect, i cant stress that enough.

You can’t find the difference of fractions by subtracting only the denominators. Like. this is elementary school math. it just doesnt work.

It’d actually be calculated as: (1/10 000 000) - (1/7 500 000 000 000) = (74999/7 500 000 000 000)

If the mods are wrong, they’re only wrong by 749999/7.5 trillion. that’s literally only 0.000000099999866666667.

Dream no doubt saw the numbers, considered 10 million vs. 7.5 trillion, and used these big numbers to hold his own point. PROBABILITY DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT. I really think he was just taking advantage of the seemingly big numbers here and wrote it out in a way that favoured him. The gold block analogy in the video played throughout the entire video practically, jokes were made on it, and he made a point of it being ‘so big the game crashed’.

It’s just plain wrong. even so a difference in the odds doesnt prove shit. He’s downplaying his own odds that he found too. 1/10 million isnt a small number. Even though the legitimacy of that calculation is in question, it is still significant enough to proclaim he cheated.

Some quick points before I move onto the report; these aren’t as significant in my eyes but it adds to the picture

there’s been criticism of his joking manor throughout the entire video, very specifically the Bill Nye joke. Considering he doesnt actually have a name to provide for his astrophysicist, this joke doesnt feel right

the mod he had a voice clip from (willz) even believes that he cheated and has agreed with the mod team the whole time.

Dream never has a name for the mod who is apparently on his side (more understandable), the minecraft developer he quoted, or the astrophysicist (most damning)

Dream states that fabric is used by most speedrunners which is true, but fabric and fabric API are different; dream also had the latter installed. my knowledge of how theyre different is limited, all i really know is the API is what can enable editing of the code while fabric is more a modloader. im not entirely sure on this

Dream has said at the end of the video that all funds will go to the mod team so they can make a client that will regulate cheaters. this has been noted as feeling manipulative or like a ‘bribe’, but it definitely puts the mods in a bad position.

either they accept it and look like they ‘gave in’ to dream and therefore acknowledge him in the right

they deny it and look selfish/taking dream’s kindness for granted

geo said they would insist it goes to a charity instead

Dream constantly disregards the mods as young, inexperienced, ‘just volunteers’ etcetcetc, despite the fact that theyre analysis has been discussed by people with confirmed PhDs without much criticism

Dream’s Report

The report itself is extremely interesting, in that it’s very questionable, but even so it doesn’t come to the conclusion that dream didn’t cheat. The tone between the video and the report is drastically different.

This is from the “3. What are the goals of this document?” section:

It essentially says this isnt intended, from the very beginning, to completely exonerate dream of cheating. Also note that the author says the mods’ report was mostly correct.

This is at the end of “9 Conclussions”:

It does notably say cheating isnt the only explanation, but it doesnt actually go as far to say that it’s not possible that he cheated.

But this can be argued to not matter if we consider the validity of the report as a whole

Dream’s Report: Criticisms

Possibly the first and most known debunking of the report is by u/mfb on reddit, although there’s been much more such as this programmer criticizing the code provided at the end of the report (partially due to how the author of it stated that piglins barter 4-7 pearls, which is incorrect: it’s 4-8), Andrew Gelman, an actual statistician professor from harvard, commented on the original mods’ report as ‘impressive’ while Dream’s report is being regarded as something funny in the comments, and even analysis of dream’s behaviours and his argument by a law student

But what u/mfb posted is what i’ll focus on. Some background into the user; he’s a particle physicist, is moderator in subreddits like r/cosmology and r/astrophysics, he’s regarded as a reliable source on r/askscience and r/askreddit. Basically, multiple other people have vouched for him and before all this he had many posts in these fields.

that’s already better than the unnamed astrophysicist.

The post is better speaking for itself but here is a few exerpts from it;

Essentially, the report’s methods are debunked by u/mfb-, alongside that a moderator of r/statistics regarded the report as ‘nonsensical in its application of statistics’ and linked to u/mfb-’s comment.

i’m going to end this here. Partially because severe backpain or whatever,.

but I want to say at this point its practically definitive that dream cheated, that he lied to us, and that he continues to do so. Much more could be said on his video such as his tone, intentions, the overt emphasis on the ‘biases’ of the mods.

I havent even mentioned that the ‘astrophysicist’ themself may be a scam; they are sourced from a website that is extremely sketchy, has no names attached to it, and was created less than a year ago (with practically no traffic on it until maybe a month ago).

But i hope this is coherent. I have interest in this so if theres questions im always open.

#dreamwastaken #mcyt #discourse #this ends suddenly because chronic pain a bitch but it stands

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dappersheep · 3 years

Text

Food Fantasy: An Analysis on what killed a Golden Goose (2/3)

Welcome back. Before we get started, disclaimers again! I do not own the game or its characters, nor do I claim to know the history and future of the game. What I am entitled to are the thoughts and opinions written within this post. You may or may not agree with the points spoken of here. This post also remains untagged from the main foofan tag. Only my followers will see this.

We are now on the second part, so let's go forward under the cut!

Elex

And here we have our beloved global publisher that most of seem to have Stockholm Syndrome for. Don't lie, at least half of us are still playing this damned game due to sunken cost fallacy, sunken time fallacy and the cute/hot jpegs.

In 2018, everything started out fine. Sure, maybe we had some translation mishaps here and there -coughwe'llgettothatwreckagelatercough- but overall, Elex was running the game fairly well. Rewards were on time, we had active social media and support, and a discord was set up!

Hint: Please note I use quite a bit of sarcasm in most everything I say.

And then somewhere along that road, things got derailed. And I mean it like, we're in the midst of a trainwreck in slow motion and we've only cleared the initial collision and still hurtling forward or backward into a steel wreckage ticking inferno.

Problems started cropping up as early as late 2018, just a few months after the game was launched in July.

⦁ Art contest mishaps. You know when you hold an art contest on Facebook out of all places with its shitty tagging system, you're bound to have entries lost to the void, people forced to register an FB account just to participate (seriously, who even has an FB account that isn't just there to appease family members?) and having to wrestle with figuring out how FB's tagging system works. Add to that the panel of judges happen to be Elex staff who don't have a good eye for good artwork (we actually had a kiddy figure drawing win over a well drawn one during the last contest!) and that they ALSO weren't very good at organizing such contests on FB... well, we had several grievances over that.

⦁ Region blocked FB announcements. Strangely enough, I stopped getting announcements around Father's Day of 2019 while everyone else outside of SEA kept getting updates. Turns out that someone on Elex's staff really didn't like SEA players or was just really bad at fixing the settings for the group and never bothered to revert it back. It didn't matter in the long run though, because...

⦁ Abandoned social media platforms. FooFan Twitter, FooFan Facebook... they all floated slowly into the void and was never heard from again. And this was before the 2020 pandemic.

⦁ Remember what I said about Discord? Yeah, apparently, they opened one up a little too early and the staff in charge of it knew zero about how to setup and mod a discord community, and didn't even have the manpower needed to mod the influx of members that came in! Suffice to say, they had to get help from top players and mods from the FB groups to come in and sort things out because someone kept pinging @ everyone every few seconds other than the usual chaos that comes from a server with no filters and people trying to turn the discord into Global Chat 2.0, minus Russian hours.

⦁ Also in line with the point about abandoned social media platforms, they've also mostly abandoned the discord too and only pop in once in a while to check the bug reports or lost accounts. You have a slightly better chance of response with the in-game support. Only slightly. And there's a running joke with several variations on the main discord that the Owner account of the discord server was manned by an intern-kun who never bothered to pass it on to the next unfortunate soul left to maintain this game.

⦁ Favoritism. Funtoy is also guilty of this but they don't publish the game for Global. If you're a top spender the likes of maxing out your cash rebates within the three months or so and you kept spending even beyond that, Elex could possibly invite you to a funky little club where your voice is more important than say... 99% of the playerbase. On top of that, if you keep spending, you could technically also ask for stuff like getting this frame over that frame, or well.... delay certain features from coming to Global for over a year. Now you can simp AND be heard! (Note: In 2021, it's possible that that club may be dead too, as all things shall be)

⦁ SJW Friendly. I don't know if Funtoy themselves have anything to also do with this particular decision... but it's saying something that after a certain little tiddy tantrum from the community side, Elex decided not to announce anything about a certain event's fate and when asked by it by other parties (not me) they either lie through their teeth, or beat around the bush with a non-answer.

⦁ Partial translations, mistranslations. Now, I understand that a lot of Chinese grammar and semantics are confusing to translate properly into several other languages, but you'd think Elex would have given their translators more context to the character or the mechanic to avoid such mistranslations that later set off gender debates or worded the skill/artifact description a little clearer. That is... unless Elex really is hands-off trying to get to know this IP from the start and only gave it the most bare minimum of English where they can cut costs for it, so people can understand it 'well enough' to throw money at an obviously not beta-read quality game.

⦁ No translations. Yes we do have certain parts of the game that are in Chinese since forever since xx patch. Some characters' voiceline texts are still in chinese, especially during the Pledge scenes. More recent artifacts are also in chinese with no announced translation in sight. And don't get me started on the Food Soul bios, or lack thereof.

⦁ Delayed events. Prime example? We had weeks of minor events/no events and still Elex managed to eff everything up for our second Anniversary in July 2020. We ended up getting the Croissant event in late August with barely any apologies and compensation for the delay... and this likely would have never arrived as 'early' as it did if people hadn't been railing about where our Anniversary event was. As it stands, we are several minor events behind CN, at least a year and a half's worth behind. I know Global had requested heavily for more spaced out events (to save resources, not that it actually worked with all the nerfed rewards we get) compared to CN but this is extremely ridiculous.

⦁ Delayed permanent features. Hm... Guild Wars, Sky Tower, Bar, that Wuchang Fish Showdown... several Quality of Life updates.... that new permanent pool update... Food Souls still missing their JP voice packs... Food Soul Bios... *slowly ticking off more than I have fingers and toes*

⦁ Customer Support is whack. You'd be lucky if you got someone who understood your problem/inquiry right off the bat AND did something about it efficiently. You'd be luckier if they answered you honestly if you were inquiring about event updates or other buggy features or reporting hackers.

⦁ The Great Turkey and Apple Incident of 2020. Well, if you were around for that little SNAFU during the Turkey re-run event, you'd know a percentage of people suddenly got logged out of their accounts and had a baller of a time trying to get their accounts back. You were especially unfortunate if you were playing on an iOS account because even if you did bind it (like a responsible player should be doing), you probably still wouldn't get it back in time to rank properly during Turkey. Some Android players also experienced this, but it wasn't as bad as what the iOS players experienced. And then there was the compensation mishap for that too.

⦁ Hacker-chan and not-so-uwu Hacker-teme. Hacker-chan is a meme. Hacker-chan was a harmless player who regularly topped in Top Showdown every week for a time to send a message to Elex just how easy it is to hack the game in certain rankings and invited Elex to ban them every time, just to test how competent Elex is. In the end, Elex has proven to be incompetent and also glaringly stupid about how their published game works. Hacker-teme is a collective of individuals over time who have cheated the game during important ranking events or in somewhat important permanent battles. If you tried to report a Hacker-teme with evidence to prove it -and trust me, people repeatedly have-, Elex would tell you that they're not cheating and/or lie through their teeth that they're 'investigating the case' and then not do anything about it and let them keep their event ranking and thus get the rewards while someone who actually worked hard/whaled hard to get the spot gets denied. In one case, they believe that if an account has rebate points and the player level is at least around level 80, then the hacker-teme is obviously playing the game fairly. Never mind that their units happened to have low to no artifact nodes opened, and not high in ascension.

And that is the end of the Elex saga. I'm aware there's likely more things about Elex that I've missed, but feel free to add on to this analysis post with your own thoughts.

The last part of this trilogy is probably what many of us are waiting for, for obvious reasons.

#ravings of a madman #food fantasy but not tagged right

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pain-somnia · 4 years

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Title: Take Me Now, I’m In Too Far Rating: M (for sexual content) Disclaimer Playlist Art Credit: @inknigella (used with permission) Day’s Notes: I have recently updated this fic on Patreon. It is one of three fics of mine exclusive to Patreon, but here’s a chance to read Part 1 of my “exes as roommates” AU. This fic is dear to me in almost the same way Kingdom For Two is. The fic started as a simple Roommates AU, but then was molded into something else when I decided to add the fact that they were exes. I wanted to write about two people that love each other a lot but growing up and becoming “real” adults made things difficulty. If you would like to give this fic a chance and enjoy Part 1, you can find Part 2 & Part 3 on Patreon. Here is a link to the tag for this fic. I have opened up the $1 tier permanently for access to exclusive fics and early access to publicly posted fics, but I have other tiers with different perks. One of the perks for certain tiers are PDFs that contain exclusive art that will only be found in full on my Patreon (or in some cases Cj’s Patreon). The above banner was created with a preview of one of the many works Ink has provided to help bring my work to life.

I hope you all enjoy the first part of this fic and consider becoming one of my patrons 😊

Part One

She was going to kill Karin. And her stupid boyfriend. She was going to kill Karin and her boyfriend and then take back the armchair she let them have as a moving-in-together gift.

Sakura wasn’t that surprised when Karin told her she was moving out. She had been spending so much time at Suigetsu’s apartment, it was as if she had already moved out months ago. It was only a matter of time before the two of them would officially move in together.

Karin had been considerate and had found her a new roommate before she gave her the news. And although Sakura wasn’t too keen on the idea of living with a stranger—a man at that—she was willing to put up with it for her friend’s happiness.

At least for a few months while she looked for a new place if possible.

Unfortunately for Sakura, she couldn’t set a day to actually meet her new roommate before he was set to move in. Their schedules conflicted most days so Karin went ahead and took care of all of the necessary paperwork and was present when he moved in. With how things had begun, Sakura assumed she wouldn’t meet her new roommate until her day off.

She hadn’t expected to run into him as she was leaving for work at the bakery at three in the morning and he was coming home smelling of booze.

She definitely didn’t expect to see her ex-boyfriend holding a key to her apartment.

“You’ve got to be shitting me,” Sasuke muttered, running a hand through his messy, jet black hair.

“You’re my new roommate?” Sakura scoffed, wringing her hands in the scarf she was attempting to put on on her way out. “How did you not know that I was Karin’s roommate?”

Sasuke looked at her impassively for a moment, as if mulling over what he wanted to say before pushing past her and saying, “I’m going to bed.”

“What? We’re not even going to talk about this?”

“If we start now, you’re going to be late for work,” he called back to her without turning around. “Can’t have that can we?”

Sakura scoffed but couldn’t retort. He was right. If she missed her bus she was going to have to wait for the next one and it would cause her to be late.

She wanted nothing more than to bang on his bedroom door and demand that he come out and speak with her. How could he just go to sleep!?

“We’re talking when I get back!” She shouted, grabbing the front door. Sakura waited but there was no response. She growled in frustration and slammed the door behind her on her way out.

“Have you been taking your anger out on dough again?” Ino commented dryly between page flips of a cake catalogue, pointing out cute designs to the toddler sitting on her lap and cooing.

Sakura rubbed her temple with the heel of her palm and sighed. It was one in the afternoon and she had spent the day busy working on custom orders. At the moment she was sitting through a consultation with her childhood friend who needed to order a birthday cake for her son, Inojin. She had tried to throw herself into baking and packaging orders but now that there was a slow down where it was only her and two of the shop clerks, her mind was free to think about how her ex was now living with her.

“You know how Karin moved out and found me a roommate?”

“Uh-huh, it was kind of unexpected. Isn’t it a little early though? They’ve only been dating for━”

“Sasuke is the roommate she found me.”

“Holy━sorry, honey.” Ino interrupted herself and covered her son’s ears. “Holy shit!”

“I wanted to call her and chew her out but in her defense, she doesn’t know he’s my ex-boyfriend.” Sakura slumped in her seat, took a fork and dug into one of the cake slices she brought out for tasting. “When I did get a chance to talk to her earlier, she said that apparently Suigetsu is best buddies with him and Kiba. Kiba and Sasuke were rooming with their friend Shino but the lease was coming to an end and Shino was moving away for a teaching job and Kiba decided to move in with his fiancée. So━”

“So Sasuke needed a new place quick and conveniently Suigetsu knew a place close enough to his workplace and with someone that desperately needed a new roommate.”

Sakura tossed the fork over her shoulder in defeat and dropped her head into her hands. Ino reached over and patted her arm in a comforting manner.

“I give you guys two weeks.”

“Two weeks for what?” Sakura lifted her head up to narrow her eyes at Ino. “Before we kill each other?”

Ino covered Inojin’s ears one more time and said, “Two weeks before you’re fucking.”

“Ino!” Sakura sat up, looking affronted, hand clutching the front of her apron.

“You guys used to go at it like rabbits,” Ino gave her a sly smile, “and it’s not like you guys broke up because you grew to hate each other.”

“That was years ago, Ino.” Sakura rolled her eyes and pushed the cake slices closer to Inojin. He immediately sank his fingers into the cake and ate from his hands. “He’s probably moved on anyway.”

“It was the stupidest break up.”

“I know it was, but we were so busy and our schedules never aligned. It was frustrating.” Sakura sighed and stared off into space. “It’s been four years…”

Ino took out some wet wipes and cleaned Inojin’s chubby fingers. “So what are you going to do?”

Sakura shrugged. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?” Ino looked at her incredulously. “You’re just going to live with him and not do a thing about it.”

“I didn’t even notice he was there for three days already.” Sakura shrugged again. “And our schedules never sync up. I really don’t think it will be an issue.”

“Unless he brings someone home,” Ino said the words slowly so Sakura couldn’t miss what she was telling her.

“He’s not as insensitive as that.” Sakura crossed her arms in front of her chest. The action was to get as close to hugging herself without actually doing it.

The truth was that the Sasuke she knew wasn’t insensitive. But she didn’t know this Sasuke; a Sasuke that was twenty-five instead of the twenty year old she knew and loved.

The new apartment was a lot closer to the tattoo parlor he worked at than his old place. It was one of the things that sold him on it when Suigetsu mentioned that Karin was moving in with him and leaving her old roomie without. That and the washer and dryer included in the apartment which meant no more paying at a laundromat or to use the communal laundry center.

Sasuke wasn’t too keen on sharing a space with a woman he didn’t know but Karin insisted that his roommate was clean and quiet and that with her work schedule he wouldn’t be running into her except on Sundays when her bakery was closed.

Bakery.

That was the first sign that had him want to put the pen down and walk away. Because baking is what she wanted to do for a living. But what were the odds that Karin was talking about her? There were tons of bakeries in the city and Sakura didn’t own one the last time he checked.

But that was five years ago when she was nineteen and too young. She was still pretty young to be a business owner but with Sakura’s tenacity there was a highly likely chance that she would have her own shop. And wasn’t that one of the reasons she had been saving every penny she could when she started working?

Shaking his head of all of those thoughts, he had signed the documents that would transfer him as the new leasee replacing Karin.

It wasn’t until he was moving in that Sasuke found out who exactly Karin’s roommate had been.

Suigetsu and he were bringing in boxes while Karin gave him a tour of the apartment when he saw the photos on the wall. Anyone could dye their hair pink but what were the odds that another pink haired woman around Karin’s age would have gone to Catholic school for high school and wore the same uniform that Sakura used to prance around in.

“Sakura is pretty sentimental so she has photos all over the apartment,” he distantly heard Karin explain as he examined all of the photos that were lined up in the hallway leading to the bedrooms. “Come check out the bathroom. It’s pretty big ‘cause the washer and dryer are set up in there. There’s a door to block out that area from the toilet and shower cabin for some privacy. It’s frosted glass but you can’t really see what’s going on on the other side.”

Karin hadn’t been friends with Sakura when the two of them had been dating so he couldn’t fault her for not knowing but Suigetsu did know that Sakura was his ex.

An ex he was still kind of hung up on.

Which is why after work he headed to the bar with Kiba and Tamaki, Kiba’s fiancée. They were supposed to celebrate him finding a new place but after Kiba asked why Suigetsu wasn’t there, Sasuke explained that he was banned from their usual bar for a few weeks because he let him move in with his ex without warning him.

If he was lucky he would never have to run into Sakura while he was living there. Because wasn’t that the cause of their breakup before? With her busy culinary school schedule and apprenticeship and then his work at the parlor running into late at night, they barely saw each other.

So stumbling in slightly drunk and a little high at three in the morning, Sasuke didn’t expect to see her on the other side of the apartment door in the middle of bundling up for the November cold.

Sakura still looked like she did at nineteen but different at the same time. Her face had lost most of the roundness of youth, but her figure was no longer as slim. She was still on the thin side, but unlike Karin who was all sharp edges and harsh angles, Sakura had filled out either with age or from eating one too many of her own cupcakes.

Sasuke ran a hand through his hair before tucking the arm it was attached to behind his head. He was finding it difficult to stay asleep which was all he had planned on doing before work for the day. Sakura had said something about talking later and he had been dreading having to have the conversation. He vaguely recalled saying something snarky about her running late for work. No doubt she would be upset over that.

The conversation was going to happen. But considering he would be gone before she came home from work, who knew when it would actually take place.

If he was lucky, she would wait until they were home and not find him at work like she used to.

When Sasuke first met Sakura she was wearing all of the cliche warning signs.

He was busy sketching when she strolled into the shop. Sasuke was supposed to be manning the reception desk and was likely to get bitched at by his cousin’s best friend for not paying attention.

“Hey,” greeted a cheerful voice.

Looking up from his sketchbook, Sasuke blinked in confusion at what he was seeing. Before him stood two teenage girls wearing the dark green tartan patterned pleated skirt and white button down shirt of a school uniform. The blonde one had a sweater wrapped around her waist but the slightly shorter girl with rose gold hair had a cream colored school cardigan with the school crest emblazoned on the left side of her chest.

“Our Lady of Sorrows is seven blocks,” Sasuke pointed out the door, “that way.”

“We have an appointment.” The blonde girl blew a bubble with her gum and popped it. “The school day also ended like an hour ago, dude.”

Raising an eyebrow, he flipped through the appointment book and asked, “names?”

“Ino Yamanaka and Sakura Haruno,” the girl with the pink hair answered, pointing at the girl that matched the names she gave. “We have an appointment with my cousin Sasori.”

Looking down the schedule log there it was. The new piercer did have an appointment with an Ino and a Sakura.

“Aren’t piercings prohibited at catholic schools?” Sasuke asked, eyeing the uniforms.

“Yeah, but you can’t get caught if you get them where the nuns can’t see them.” The pink haired girl winked at him, green eyes sparkling mischievously.

“What kind of piercings are you getting then?” He asked, taking out the waiver forms.

“Belly button for Ino.” The blonde girl raised her hand and took her form and filled out the form.

He turned to Sakura and waited for her answer. Her lips turned upwards at the corners in a coy smile.

“Hips.”

Even now, if Sasuke closed his eyes and concentrated on the memory of Sakura swiveling her hips as he thrust up into her, he could see the jewelry twinkling at him as she dipped her hips.

A lot of years had gone by since that first encounter and Sasuke was no longer the shop slave he was during his apprenticeship and Sakura was no longer that rebellious catholic school girl.

It didn’t stop him from wondering if her dermals were still in place or if after all those years her skin rejected the piercings and they had to be removed.

“What’s up with you, kid?” He felt someone ruffle his hair and he swatted at the air. The only one that had the courage to do so was Konan, one of their piercers.

“Nothing,” he replied, sanitizing the tattoo bed before his next client showed up.

“His ex girlfriend found out he lives with her,” Kiba cackled from his work station. Sasuke took his discarded gloves and threw them across the room until they hit him with a smack. “Ow!”

“Why would that be a surprise?” Konan asked. Sasuke made himself busy taking needles to the autoclave to avoid responding.

“She works baker’s hours,” Sasuke heard Kiba responding for him. “They have opposing schedules so Sui’s girlfriend took care of everything.”

“Good luck with that.” Konan went to the reception counter to check the appointment book. She had already moved on from the conversation.

I’m going to need more than luck, Sasuke grumbled inwardly.

Sakura drummed her fingers against her mug, nails clinking against the ceramic. She knew Sasuke wouldn’t get home until late so she called the co-owner of her bakery and asked her to oversee the baking of the everyday goods the following morning.

While Sakura mostly ran the show in the kitchen—Hinata being too soft and gentle to command the staff—she was mostly the cake artist and worked on custom orders. It was a lot more relaxed than the job she had as a pastry chef for the high end hotel in the city, but it still demanded a lot of her time.

She could spend hours of her day just to work on a cake that would still take her three days to make all of the components for it.

It wasn’t until one in the morning that the front door creaked open, keys jingling as they were pulled out of the lock.

“You stayed up.” Sasuke toed his boots off and lined them up next to hers. The leather work boots were of a popular brand so they hadn’t alarmed Sakura despite them being part of Sasuke’s signature look.

Sakura stood up from his seat at the couch and wrapped her oversized cardigan tighter around her body. She hugged herself, feeling exposed in her pajamas. “I said we had to talk.”

“There’s not much to talk about.” Sasuke tossed his keys on the kitchen island. Sakura grabbed them and placed them on a wall hook next to her own set of keys. “I need a place to live, you need a roommate. That’s it.”

“That’s it?” Sakura asked, voice soft and slow, urging him to re-examine their situation. When he continued to stare at her impassively, Sakura scoffed.

“I didn’t know you were Karin’s roommate until I was moving in.”

“I know.” Sakura ran a hand through her hair, pushing her bangs back. Sasuke wasn’t a liar. At least the Sasuke she knew wasn’t a liar. “I know.”

“So is this the end of the discussion?” Sasuke’s eyes drifted from her to the hallway behind her. It was late and all he wanted was to get to bed. “I don’t really see any problem with us living together. You didn’t even notice that I was here for three days.”

The problem is that I never got over you. “Alright, if there’s no problem then let’s go over the rules.”

“Rules?” Sasuke gave her a blank look.

“Yes, rules. Karin and I had them and now so will we.”

“Okay.” Sasuke crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned against the island. “What are your rules?”

“Rule number one: no fucking on the couch.”

Sasuke’s eyes went wide and he choked on an inhale. “That’s a rule you guys had or is that one you made for me?”

“That was an actual rule we had.” Sakura shivered in disgust. “Suigetsu has a very pale ass.”

“Yeah, everyone’s seen more of Sui than they’ve ever wanted to.”

“Rule number two: toilet seat needs to be put back down after use.”

“Okay, that’s definitely one you made up for me.” Sasuke stood you straighter and looked her up and down. “Do I get to make rules too?”

“I will consider them.”

“Alright.” Sasuke was silent for a moment as he pondered. “No obnoxious noises such as vacuuming when you know the other is sleeping.”

“That’s reasonable.” Sakura sat down on one of the bar stools at the island and took out her notepad. She took out a pen and wrote down a few lines. “I do my laundry twice a week━Wednesdays and Sundays, usually around noon. Having a schedule kind of helps out ‘cause the laundry room is in the bathroom.”

They went back and forth writing down rules and going over each other’s work schedule. Sakura tapped the pen on the table and took a deep breath. She didn’t want to step on any toes or be misunderstood but she needed to bring up an uncomfortable topic.

“No overnight guests.” Sasuke raised an eyebrow and in a rush to recover Sakura blurted out, “for either of us! At least not without a heads up. I don’t want to be walking around in my underwear and there’s a stranger in my home.”

“Why would you be walking around in your━?”

“I sleep like that sometimes!” Sakura snapped, cheeks heating up. “I wake up to use the bathroom or get water and I’m too drowsy to consider pants.”

“Why do you sleep in your underwear if you get cold easily?” Sasuke’s face scrunched up in confusion.

“I come home too tired to change so I just sleep in my underwear.” Sakura stomped her foot. Sasuke raised an eyebrow. “Don’t judge me!”

“Just remember that I live here now and will see your ass if you decide that pants are too much,” Sasuke yawned, “effort. I’m going to bed now.”

Sakura watched him head to his room with a frown on her face. It wasn’t until she heard the lock on his door click that she let out an exhausted sigh.

Does he have to look cute when he’s sleepy?

“Is this too much for a three year old’s birthday?” Sakura sat back and looked thoughtfully at her sketch with her chin resting on her fist.

Hinata shrugged as she continued to pipe buttercream flowers. “I mean it’s more for Ino, isn't it?”

“God,” Sakura rolled her eyes, “it really is. I’m sure Inojin would be happy with a dinosaur on a cake instead of a dinosaur made out of cake.”

Hinata giggled softly as she continued to make a bouquet out of cupcakes. She was working on cupcakes for a bridal shower. Sakura had helped her with the structure to make it appear that it was suspended in the air and now all she had to do was decorate it.

When Sakura had met Hinata, the young woman wasn’t the best baker. It was an issue of confidence and being unsure if it was the best decision she had made. Upon discovering that Hinata had a few years to become a successful baker or get married to a man her father chose, Sakura took her under her wing and when they were ready they used Hinata’s trust fund to secure a location.

At that point Sakura already had a reputation for her cake sculptures so they lucked out.

Just because Sakura couldn’t be with the person she loved, it didn’t mean she was going to watch someone give up on their dream and marry someone they were forced to.

“So how has Tinder been working out for you?” Sakura drawled as she took out the ingredients she was going to need.

“I prefer Bumble, actually,” Hinata mumbled, face flushing pink. “You know it’s weird describing myself as pleasantly plump. Usually I would just say fat or chubby.”

“But you are pleasantly plump,” Sakura teased her. “And good call on Bumble. Message any guys?”

“I might have,” Hinata muttered under her breath, face turning a dark shade of red.

“Oh, you dirty slut.”

“We only met for coffee!” Hinata insisted over Sakura’s laughter. Sakura waved her hand at her and tried to reign in her laughter. It was quiet in the kitchen until Hinata said, “I wouldn’t have minded though. He has such pretty blue eyes.”

Sakura only stopped laughing when Hinata threw buttercream at her face.

The assistants walked in from the front of the shop to find Sakura covered in pink and purple frosting, armed with a piping bag full of green frosting, and Hinata shielding her cupcake sculpture.

Sakura was exhausted by the time she got home. It was one of those rare days where she didn’t get home until late. There was so much math and engineering into creating cake sculptures and trial and error.

She slumped against her apartment door and groaned. She had just unlocked the door but had no energy to push it open.

“You’re almost there, don’t pass out now.” Turning slightly, Sakura mumbled incoherently at the sight of Sasuke holding a take out bag. “Jesus Christ, you’re dead on your feet.”

“Carry me,” Sakura grumbled.

Sighing to himself, Sasuke handed her the bag of takeout and crouched down, scooping her legs up and cradling her. “How the fuck did Karin deal with you? She’s twiggy.”

“Suigetsu was usually around or she’d drag me across the floor.” Sakura opened the bag of food and examined the contents as Sasuke set her down on the couch. “Anything I’d like in here?”

“I thought you would be sleeping, but I have some stuff you could tolerate.” He grabbed two plates and brought them to the coffee table and began to serve her some of his food. “Do you ever take a break?”

“I have a day off tomorrow technically.”

“But you’re going to go to work.” Sasuke shook his head, unruly hair swaying around his face. “Typical.”

And with that Sakura lost all desire to eat despite not having had anything to eat all day except for some bread and tastings.

“Hey, where are you? It’s getting weird just sitting here. I can order right now if you’re nearby.”

“Oh, shoot! Sasuke I’m sorry but I’m still at work.”

“Wasn't today your day off?”

So what if she was a “workaholic?” If she were a man no one would see anything wrong with how much she worked.

She knew that eventually she was going to be faced with reminders of what a shitty girlfriend she had been, but she had hoped that she would be alone as she looked back on all of the mistakes she had made.

Sasuke had forgiven her for the first missed date but once he had been stood up a second, third, fourth, fifth time he stopped making any plans for them.

“I gotta take this coat off,” Sakura mumbled, fumbling with the buttons. Sasuke reached over and helped her get free of her coat and then hung it up on the hooks by the door. If he was going to be this nice for the duration of the time they lived together, the shittier she was going to feel.

“Karin said you owned a bakery. When did that happen?” He handed her a plate full of food, much more food than Sakura would have served herself, but one look from Sasuke had her clamming up and taking the set of chopsticks he placed flat across her palm.

“A few years ago…” Sakura swallowed a bite of dumpling. “It was kind of an accident.”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow and paused in his chewing. Sakura laughed through her nose and explained to him how she had met Hinata.

She had been working at the same high end hotel she had done her apprenticeship when Hinata had been hired on the spot. The tiny, plump woman was quiet and stuttered when speaking to her coworkers because no one wanted her there.

Hinata had been hired because of her last name—the hotel being owned by the Hyūga family—with no references nor any culinary school training which was required to work at the Michelin star hotel restaurant. Due to the fact they were around the same age and because she was the newest hire, Sakura was tasked with watching over the woman. No one else would take up the responsibility thinking that Hinata would hold them back.

Sakura just couldn’t leave Hinata alone. She reminded her so much of herself when she was younger. She helped to train her during her off time and guided her through the French techniques that Sakura had been trained in.

The desire to learn and the drive was there, hidden under the fear of failure.

Sakura moved on to work at a custom cake shop where she could use more of her artistic abilities. Eventually the owner was ready to retire and was willing to sell the store to her.

She wanted to own her shop one day. It was part of her goals but brick and mortar shops were expensive. If it weren’t for Hinata’s trust fund she would never have been able to afford the shop. The two of them had kept in touch and when Sakura found out that Hinata was on her way to quitting being a pastry chef, they made plans to go into business together.

Sasuke listened to her story, never interjecting but nodding at certain intervals and slight facial shifts showing that Sakura still had his attention.

“So what have you been up to?” Sakura asked, digging through the leftover noodles in one of the cartons.

“I still work at the same shop. I moved out a few years ago. Funnily enough it was my mom that was on my case not my dad.”

“Really?” Sakura was genuinely shocked.

When she had last seen Fugaku he wasn’t the biggest supporter of Sasuke’s chosen profession. He had paid for him to go to art school, not to waste his talent working at a tattoo parlor. His mother, Mikoto, was the one that had always been his personal cheerleader.

“I think it was all of the new ink,” Sasuke gestured to his sleeve covered arms, “that really did it for my mom. She always made faces at them and commented about what kind of girl I thought I would be attracting with them.”

I always liked your tattoos. Sakura shrugged and stuffed noodles into her mouth to keep from commenting out loud.

When Sakura was just freshly eighteen and finishing her final year of high school, Sasuke was the exact kind of guy her grandmother had wanted her to stay away from. She had left money behind in her will for Sakura to attend the same school she and Sakura’s mother, Mebuki, had attended.

Our Lady of Sorrows was a Catholic private school that Sakura’s parents wouldn’t have been able to afford without the money her grandmother had left behind. She had probably hoped that Sakura would go to private school, be abstinent, go to college and then medical school and then eventually marry a doctor.

It was too bad that Sakura preferred to be in the kitchen with her father a lot more than she cared for her school. If they had let her stay in public school there may have been a better chance of her focusing on her studies and eventually going to medical school like her grandma had wanted her to. Sakura had been miserable at Our Lady of Sorrows, her only solace being Ino and baking.

And Sasuke.

Sasuke had been the kind of cliché salvation a teenage girl fantasized about. And she still couldn’t believe that at one point in their lives, she had been his.

Ino cut off the boy that usually sat at the desk in front of Sakura and slid into the seat, a manic look in her eyes. “Guess what?”

“I’m not playing this game,” Sakura laughed, completely ignoring the boy that was frowning at Ino.

“Well, fine. Be boring.” Ino huffed, blowing her bangs up and letting them flop back on her face. “But anyway so I was talking to your cousin Sasori━”

“Ino, he’s way too old for you and he’s gay. And you have a boyfriend.”

“That’s not why I was talking to your cousin, Billboard Brow.” Ino flicked Sakura’s forehead. “But anywho. So I went to visit your cousin at that parlor he’s working at now ‘cause I wanna get those piercings you wanted for your birthday━no arguments. They’re on me. We’re going after school.”

“That’s awfully generous of you.” Sakura pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes at her. “Is Sasori giving you a discount?”

Ino scoffed. “I wish! That miser,” she grumbled. Ino shook her hair out and then smiled slyly at her. “But that’s not even the best part.”

Sakura rolled her eyes. Ino was really milking the big surprise. She was too impatient for this and the homeroom teacher would show up soon.

“Remember that mega hottie from the public school at the student showcase down at The Factory Art Center?”

Sakura groaned, dropping her head onto her planner. How could she forget? She was just lucky that he hadn’t seen her run straight into a wall because she had been so distracted. The only good thing that came about that was that Ino met her boyfriend Sai that day. And that the boy hadn’t noticed her accident.

It had been a student showcase for the senior students in the schools in the city and Sakura and Ino attended for extra credit. Sakura had been mindlessly looking at all of the pieces until a tall boy wearing all black with messy hair had caught her eye. She had barely heard Ino call out “Dibs!” before she ran into one of the pillars because she wasn’t paying attention to where she was walking.

Ino had given up chase and did her best friend duties by checking up on Sakura. Luckily for her, a different dark haired boy had seen the whole thing and had come over to help out and Ino got her older boyfriend anyway.

“That was almost a whole year ago. Why must you remind me that I embarrassed myself in front of like, seven different senior classes.”

“Mega hottie works at the parlor your cousin does. He’s an apprentice-slash-shop slave.”

That, Sakura hadn’t expected. She had seen his work and expected him to go off to art school and then maybe come back to The Factory Art Center to be a resident artist or for him to even switch tracks and work at Glass & Iron━he did have some lampwork and some welding work as part of his showcase.

“So what?” Sakura swallowed. The grin on Ino’s face was foreboding.

“So,” Ino reached over and played with the ends of Sakura’s long pink hair, “someone is going to take her cute butt down there and finally meet him.”

“Sakura.”

Sakura blinked at the hand that waved in front of her face. Sasuke looked down at her with concern. She looked just about ready to pass out in her noodles.

“Are you okay? You should probably get to bed.” He would just have to clean up everything on his own. And if she tried to go to work on her day off, he’d call the tiny red terror━Karin or Sakura’s cousin, Sasori━to force her to rest for once.

Sakura rubbed her eye with the back of her little fist and murmured, “I should. Thank you for the food.”

She was so small and tired, Sasuke just wanted to scoop her up and bundle her up in her blankets. But then he remembered that she would be going to her own room and he would be going to his and there were four years between now and when he was hers.

Did she still curl herself inward like a cat when she slept? Bury herself under three blankets that weighed almost as much she did?

He could help her to her room and find out. She was dead on her feet and would probably need him to keep from stumbling and running into a wall. It would be so easy to just curl his arm around her waist, pull her closer to his sturdier frame.

It would be easy, oh so easy. And that’s why Sasuke left her to her own devices.

#sasusaku #ss fanfiction #day!fics

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p---ink · 4 years

Text

Stark Contrasts: Chapter Four

Author’s Note: For anyone following my series on Tony Stark, this is the 4th installment. Chapter 5, will be my last chapter, and it is coming soon. I hope you enjoy this.

Summary: Tony makes it his mission to find you after you leave.

Warnings: Angst, (I promise the next chapter will have smut!!!)

Song: Where’s My Love by SYML

Word Count: 5.9k

Parts: one | two | three | four | five

Chapter Title: The Lengths He’ll Go To

Disclaimer: Gif is not mine.

Some offered looks of worry. Some clutched their guns. Some knew not what to do, as they watched the panic-stricken man search the station for anyone he thought could help him. He had just burst through the doors of the precinct, frantic state of mind attached to his demeanor. He blew past the front desk, despite the receptionists pleas. He could not care less about their waiting line, he could not care less about their protocol. Every minute wasted, was one where you could be getting further away. Every minute wasted was one where he was not with you.

“Sir, excuse me? You can’t go back there! Sir!” The receptionist yelled, as she followed his movements passed the front gate.

He plopped himself down in the first open chair with a face behind the desk. The woman on the other side of it looked from him to the receptionist before dismissing her. “It’s okay Rebecca, I’ll handle this.” She sat her cup of coffee down before starting. “How can I help you Mr. Stark?” He was no longer surprised when people who he had never met called him by name.

“I would like to report a missing person.” Were the first words Tony had uttered since his being there.

The detective reached for a free piece of paper and pen among the clutter on her desk. “What is the name of this person?” He told her your first and last name. “And when did you last see her?”

“A few hours ago.” He stated. The detective stopped her scribbling and glanced up at him for a moment.

“So it’s only been a few hours? What leads you to believe she’s missing?”

“Everything she owns is still at home.” He simply said, believing that alone made sense.

“Well if anything sir, that should prove she’s not gone.”

“No you don’t understand. She left everything at home. Her car is still there. Her apple watch. Even her phone was still on our entryway table.” He placed the sleek black device on top of the desk to prove he wasn’t lying. You were going to take your phone, but Pepper thought it was best to leave it. “Don’t underestimate the lengths Tony Stark would go to, when it comes to what he wants.” She said.

“I see.” The detective started, picking up her pen again to scribble his comments down. “Well how old is she?”

“Look I already know where you’re going with this one. Yes, she’s an adult. But she wouldn’t just up and leave like this. Her family doesn’t know where she is, nor her friends. I contacted her professors, and no one at her university has seen her other than yesterday.”

“It seems to me like you haven’t given them enough time to. You said it’s only been a few hours.” The detective— or Danielle Shaw according to her badge, laughed.

Tony examined her, taking offense to her amusement. “If she’s not missing, why were her things left at home?” His tone was now slightly aggressive, whereas before he could contain his frustration.

“Maybe she doesn’t want you to trace her. You seem a bit controlling.” Shaw stated casually.

“Excuse me?” He was already agitated, but she was just pissing him off now. She had but long abandoned her pen to invalidate him. It was as if she had already given up on searching for you.

“Listen sir, I am going to say this in the nicest way possible. Often in domestic violence cases the victim will—”

“My girlfriend could be at the bottom of a lake right now, and you’re accusing me of abuse?” He sneered, sitting up in his seat to grip the handles on the chair. He knew you weren’t at the bottom of a lake. He knew you hadn’t been kidnapped. You were gone, and you didn’t want to be found, so all that the detective was suggesting reigned partially true. But he had come with hopes that they could trace your location some how. He knew now, that those hopes were in vain.

“We just have to cover all of the bases is all, Mr. Stark.” She leaned back in her chair, offering him a tight-lipped smile that failed to reach her eyes. She had even placed the paper she took her notes on in a drawer beside her seat.

“Look are you going to look for her or not?.”

“We’ll do our best to find her.” She assured him, reaching across the desk to grab the phone.

He placed his hand over hers to halt her actions. He didn’t believe a word she said. “You need her phone to do this? What if she calls it looking for me?”

“Then we’ll call you immediately.” She said snatching her hand away from his, sliding the phone into her desk. “Can I take down all of the ways to get in contact with you?”

Now feeling defeated, Tony gave her everything she needed from him. “Thank you. We’ll be seeing you soon Mr. Stark.” She affirmed, smiling as she reached a hand out for him to shake. Her attempts at cordiality went ignored.

Fuck the police. Tony thought as he raised from his seat to exit the building.

…..

He spent months searching for you since his police visit. It became his routine to call your closest family members. He had even coaxed some of the distant one’s information out. The bastard was crazy enough to visit your loved ones for the first time just to make sure you hadn’t been staying there.

He spent weeks calling up your friends, making sure they hadn’t heard from you. Making sure they hadn’t posted any pictures of you on their social media pages. They all blocked him, growing annoyed in his desperate attempts to find you.

He had toured your University twice. Stopping by your old classes to see if your professors had heard anything, leaving his number so they could text him if they had. Of course they knew nothing of your whereabouts, but that was confidential information that they could not share even if they did. Tony knew this, but he offered them a large sum of cash if they found out about anything from your peers.

Samuel, the maître-d at your favorite restaurant, had seen or heard from him at least every other day. Tony was now one of his most frequent callers. As much as Sammie loved him, the man had become frustrated with his day-to-day nonsense, and banned him from the premises until further notice.

Everyone was growing tired of him. He couldn’t see why though. Five months wasn’t long to any other person, but to Tony it felt like eternity.

Five months. That’s how long you had been gone. That’s how long he hadn’t touched you, or seen you smile. Five months is how long you hadn’t talked to him. That’s how long it had been since he had gotten to wake up next to you, or smelled your skin. He hadn’t heard you laugh in five months. He hadn’t heard you nag, in five months. At this point he just wanted to hear you breathe, after five long months, but he knew that was too much to ask.

There were no more movies. They had all made him depressed. He no longer played his favorite songs. They reminded him too much of you. He would often travel the long way home. This was to avoid driving by your favorite places. When he did decide to eat, he couldn’t even cook for himself; takeout and beer became his only source of food. Most of the time he’d be in the gym, pounding out all of his frustrations into a boxing bag, wishing instead to hold you, before passing out to your memory.

He tried visiting bars in search of women who resembled you. He never found anyone who could capture your aura, but the one time he got close, he called her by your name. Not like he wanted it to go anywhere anyway. They could never compare to you.

She’s forgotten about me now. He thought. She’s moved on to someone else. She hates me because of that night. How could I be so stupid to fall asleep. His thoughts often consumed him. They often got the best of him. He was tired of denying them, so he just let himself think the worst.

His phone began to vibrate for the first time today. He rushed to it, hoping it was you or news of you. Disappointed, he sat it back down when the caller ID revealed Pepper’s name.

Perhaps the only person who he had not called since your departure was Pepper. Despite knowing for a fact that she was the only one who knew where you were, he knew that she would never tell him. He felt more disdain for Pepper than he had ever felt. They had once been best friends but now all he felt for her was resentment.

She had called him every day. Trying to check in on him, seeing if he was okay. Seeing if he would stop by Stark Industries. Seeing if had forgotten about you. Pepper, despite Tony’s doubts, genuinely thought she was helping him. She genuinely thought she was helping you. Had she known her attempts to diffuse the situation would have left him this miserable she would of thought twice. Overall she didn’t regret what she thought was right.

He was currently sitting on the floor, texting your old number, informing you of how much he missed you. Despite not hearing anything from you, he continued paying your phone bill. He knew you wouldn’t reply. Your phone was still at the Police department sitting in Detective Shaw’s desk. Still, he loved the idea that you might text him back.

Knock! Knock! Knock! The front door sounded, distracting him from his previous tasks. He thought it was Pepper again, coming to reprimand him for ignoring her calls. He remained on the floor, ignoring the door.

“Mr. Stark open up! It’s Detective Shaw from the police department!” Shaw shouted, banging on the door once more. Tony ran to fling it open, in hopes that the detective had some updates.

“Hi Mr. Stark, you haven’t responded to my calls.” Shaw accused, tilting her head to survey him. He looked very different from the last time she had seen him. More rugged. Tired even.

“That’s because you haven’t called me. I haven’t heard anything from you in months.” She thought that because he was such a busy man, she could get away with lying about contacting him. Had she only known he spent his months consumed in you.

She quickly recovered from her lie. “Yes Mr. Stark, and I’m sorry for that, but its because we haven’t found anything regarding your missing person’s report. I am just here to return the phone you submitted into evidence. We are calling off the case, so we thought you should have it back.”

Tony snatched the ziplock bag from her hand, before grumbling a ‘thanks for nothing’, shutting the door in her face. She looked as if she had more to say, but he stopped listening after she said they hadn’t found anything

He returned back to his seated position on the floor against the couch. Now instead of texting your phone with his, he could use yours to reply back. He turned it on and unlocked the device, surprised he could still remember the passcode.

“I’m going crazy.” He sighed, shutting his eyes and dragging a hand down his face. He had said this upon opening your phone to reveal over 500 notifications. About 70% of them being from him. It took a minute for them all to load. When they did, he went into your messages app, scrolling through the endless gray. Scrolling. Scrolling. Scrolling until he came to a stop at the last messages between the two of you.

You: Hey, what would you like for dinner?

Tony: I could go for your favorite tonight

You: Okay well, I’ll have it done by the time you’re back.

Tony: Noooooo, I wanna help! I always help.

You: Fine! Love you, I’ll see ya soon.

‘Love you’ He read. He remembered that night. It was a few nights after you two had been caught. That night was a calming before the storm, because it was the day before you left him.

It was one of the most normal times he had experienced with you. It felt like the two of you were an official couple. Your favorite song echoed throughout the kitchen as he helped you prepare dinner. While dancing circles around you, he belted the lyrics out in a dramatic voice in dire need of taking your mind off of Edward. In dire need of hearing your laugh again. Come time to wash the dishes he heard it once he used the kitchen sink’s hose to drench your entire body in water. At first you were pissed, but then you burst into a fit of laughter as you took your revenge out on him.

‘Love you’ Why didn’t I say it back. I didn’t get to tell her before she left. I didn’t tell her enough. He thought rereading your texts over and over again. He read it so much he tried to imagine your voice saying it. He couldn’t forget your face. So many pictures of you flooded his and your phone. But he had long forgotten your voice. He cursed himself everyday for it too. When he was done dwelling on ‘Love you’, he moved on to ‘I’ll see you soon.’

‘I’ll see you soon.’ He read. ‘I’ll see you soon.’ ‘I’ll see you soon.’ What did she mean by that? Does she want me to come and find her? He thought.

“Ugh!” He groaned out-loud. “I really need some fucking help.” He left the texts between the two of you, about to re-lock your phone, but something bothered him. None of your family and friends had texted you. His texts were the last you had received. Out of the 536 notifications, not one had been a text from your loved ones.

Twitter. Instagram. Tumblr. Facebook. Pinterest. Even fucking Youtube had sent you more notifications than your friends. What the fuck? He questioned. What puzzled him more however, was the name just below his. Nao? He had never met them.

He opened the messages between you and the girl, studying every word. You had asked her if you could stay with her until you departed the states. She told you yes and sent her address in return.

Tony rushed to get up from his spot on the floor. He fled to put on something decent before sprinting out of the house to find Nao.

…..

Thuack! Thuack! Thuack! Thuack! Thuack! Those were the sounds his slaps made against the door. He barely left a second between each thud, forcing the resident to answer his calls. He hadn’t messaged her ahead of time to make sure she was home. He didn’t even know the girl, who offered you a home away from him. All he knew, was that the person on the other side of that wall was the last to see you. Perhaps even someone who could give him answers regarding you. He continued his desperate knocks, silently begging for God to answer his prayers.

Nao swung the door open, eyeing the slate of wood as if he had put a hole through it. Her glare turned into a look of bewilderment upon turning to examine her door’s assailant. He had on a pair of tented shades as if to hide his identity, but she knew who he was.“Tony Stark?”

“Yes. May I come in?” He asked, after pushing past her to invite himself into her apartment. He didn’t even give himself enough time to properly analyze her.

“Um…no.” Nao answered to herself, dumbfounded that this man just barged his way into her apartment. She followed him through the tiny living room, watching him inspect the furniture and knick-knacks that were spread throughout the place. She thought he was judging her choice of decorations, but he was really trying to determine what kind of person she was.

“Can I help you?” She rudely asked, snatching back the journal he picked up from her coffee table.

An unfazed Tony replied, “Actually you just might be able to. Nay-yoh?” He annunciated “Am I pronouncing that right?”

She was curious as to how he knew her name, as well as how he found her “Yes, how did you—”

“You let a girl by the name of Y/N stay here about 5 months ago?” She was hesitant when she answered yes, very aware of where his questions were going. “Do you have any idea where she is?”

“I can tell you that she doesn’t want to be found.” Nao confessed, informing him of what he already knew.

“I asked if you know where she is.” He stopped his journey around her apartment, to focus in on her. How he didn’t notice her baby-blue hair before, was a mystery. She had on sea-foam green silk pajamas, and looked like she had just rolled out of bed, despite it being around 1:00 in the afternoon.

“Dude, Ms. Potts told me not to speak to you about this, and so did Y/N.”

At this point, he took his shades off, and trudged closer to her squaring his shoulders to appear taller. It was his attempt to intimidate her. Nao looked more unbothered than ever though; pale arms crossed against her chest. She was close in his height, still a few inches shorter, but in this moment they were equals. She quirked her eyebrows in a ‘try-me’ manner, before speaking again. “If my answer wasn’t clear before, I am not telling you shit.”

His hard demeanor dissipated, and he soon turned into a pitiful mess. “Please. Is it money you want?”

“No.”

“Protection?”

“No.”

“Weed?” He suggested that because it was the first thing he smelled upon entering her apartment.

“Nah. I’ve had my fill.” She laughed

“Then what is it? Just name it and I’ll do it!” She knew he was serious, but her loyalties laid with you.

“Nothing. I can’t tell you anything.”

“Can’t or won’t?” Tony questioned.

“It’s all in the same isn’t it?” Nao casually countered.

He was beginning to lose hope again. “Please? I am begging you. Surely you must know that the circumstances surrounding her leave, are bullshit.”

“She did it for you Tony.” Nao looked at him as if he was ungrateful. She was now greatly concerned by your choice in men.

“I know. I know.” Tony started, deeply admired by your love for him. “And I love her for it, it’s just…I didn’t ask her to. I didn’t need her to. Could you just please tell me where she is.”

Pain shined through his ego. She saw this grown man on the verge of breaking. A man who had everything in the world , yet he still could not be satisfied without you. She could only offer her pity. “I can’t man. Maybe you should just leave things the way they are. It’s for the best.”

“I am sick of people telling me what is for the best. I have been on this planet for over forty years now, and I am perfectly capable of deciding what is best for me.” Tony spat

“Well so is Y/N.” Nao asserted, batting for you since you weren’t there. Growing irritated she walked over to him to begin pushing him towards the exit.

Surprised by this lanky girl’s strength, Tony kicked up his pleading due to his lack of time.“Please. Please? My life is miserable without her.”

Though she believed him, she still felt the need to be loyal to you. But If he found you on his own, she could still do that. She stopped to open the door, now speaking again. “I can’t tell you where she is.”

“Oh come on—“

“—But I can tell you to check her twitter.” And with that, she pushed him through the door, shutting it quickly before he could protest.

…..

Twitter. What in the hell did she mean by that? He thought. Of course he had checked your twitter, it was the first thing he had done when he left the police station. He followed every one of your social media accounts, and you had been inactive on all of them. There weren’t even any signs of you liking others posts. Pepper practically had you on lock-down.

He was out of ideas, before, he decided to check your account through your phone. Perhaps something different would show up.

Still nothing.

He became bored browsing through the app. Then curious as to how it worked. Despite being a genius, twitter seemed like a foreign concept to him. Being the attention-seeking, flamboyant man he was, you would of thought he’d be drawn to it. But he was usually far too busy to keep up with the ever-changing app. Far too busy to even care what anyone had to say about him. Now, however, he had all the time in the world.

He searched through your profile, wondering if he could find anything in your bio about where you could or would be. You were way too smart for that. So still nothing.

While searching through your navigation tab, that’s when he finally found something worth searching for. Right across from your profile picture, was another glowing blue icon.

Tapping on it, he was able to switch to your not-so-secret account, Tonysbitch99.

“Well, what do we have here?” He cheered, as he scrolled through your most recent tweets. Some dated back to as early as yesterday. The entire account was dedicated to defending him.

You had tweets that called out TMZ for spreading fake news. TMZ tweeted comments that speculated Tony being dead, because no one had seen the titan of industry in public for a while.

Tonysbitch99: @ TMZ, shut the fuck up. You speak of things you know nothing about. Tony’s just chillin. Dealing with invasive idiots like you, sick people, can be stressful.

There were tweets about Tony being a cradle-robber for dating a woman who was half his age.

Jer0d_the_g0at: When are we gonna talk about Tony Stark? This man is dating a literal child. She’s only like 10.

Tonysbitch99: @ Jerod_the_goat, please invite yourself to mind your fucking business. They are both consenting adults, and if she didn’t wanna be with him she wouldn’t be. BTW she’s 24.

Jer0d_the_g0at: @ Tonysbitch99, you talk like you know her. Did she tell you that? Anyway it doesn’t matter, because Tony either pressured her, or she’s in it for the money.

Tonysbitch99: @ Jerod_the_goat, look at you doing the same thing you accuse me of. Did she tell you she was pressured? Did she tell you she just wanted his money? People need to stay out of other’s relationships. She’s a grown ass woman.

Tonysbitch99: @ zuko-marry-me, I heard her ex was an arrogant p.o.s who always cheated and never gave her the time of day. That was your response to a comment calling the both of you out for betraying Edward.

zuko-marry-me: @ tonysbitch99, Please tell me how that’s relevant? That’s still his son, nothing Edward’s does will ever make what they did okay.

kayleesinterlude: @ zuko-marry-me, I don’t know about that one, love. I’ve met the guy, he was flirting and practically eye-fucking me in front of his girl. I’d fuck Tony after that too.

Endless tweets flooded your profile. Whether it was malicious attacks, or harmless thoughts, it was about him. He knew it was you, because they only tweeted things that you could know. Your latest tweet was one that had him in shambles.

Tonysbitch99: I hope Tony is taking care of himself. I wanna hear from him, but his health is more important right now. Remember to smile today @ therealtonystark. I love you. Hope to see you soon.

His vision became blurry with tears, and his throat emitted a sound that he had never heard through all his years of living. She does want me to find her. He thought. Mentally pulling himself together he kept looking. He scrolled until he finally found a tweet that tagged your location. “What is she doing there?” He asked himself.

“Tony why are you dodging my calls?” Pepper sounded from in front of him, the sudden surprise caused him to drop your device. They were currently in his bedroom, so he hadn’t heard her come in from downstairs.

“Fucking hell Pepper. How many keys do you have? You’re only supposed to use that for emergencies.” He said gesturing to the the key between her fingers. She stood in the doorway with her usual business attire on: navy blue pencil skirt, white blouse, and blazer.

“Tony this is an emergency. I need you to come back to the company asap.”

“Pepper whatever it is, you or Edward can handle it.” Tony assured, before rolling out of bed to get ready.

“This is about Edward. He’s stepping down.”

“What? Why?” He questioned, shutting his dresser closed before turning to eye her.

“I can’t tell you why.” She murmured.

“Pepper I have had it with you not telling me shit! If you don’t tell me why right now, so help me God!”

“Fine. I finally talked some sense into him.” She lied. “This is your company, and what he has done to you is unacceptable.”

Not understanding why she didn’t just tell him that, he left it alone before saying “Thanks Pepper, but that was unnecessary. You can tell Edward to come back now.”

“It’s not that simple.” Pepper stated, looking down at her feet.

“It never is.” He sighed. He didn’t have time for this, he was far too focused on finding you. “Why isn’t it that simple Pepper?”

“I told him the truth, and now he feels guilty” She whispered.

“The truth about what?” Growing impatient with her beating around the bush, he raised his voice when he spoke again. “Spit it out, please?”

She was still hesitant, but she rushed her words when she told him, “He isn’t your son.”

“Yes he is my son.” Tony sighed.

“No he isn’t Tony. I cheated on you.” She exhaled, forcing herself to speak faster before she chickened out. “This entire thing is my fault. I feel guilty about this all. Now you’re miserable because of it. You would have never gone through this if it wasn’t for me.”

“Stop.” Tony commanded softly, but Pepper continued her rambles.

“Y/N would still be here if it wasn’t for me.” She cried.

“I would have never met her, if it wasn’t for you.” Tony’s reassurement went ignored as Pepper continued.

“You should have never had to deal with Edward’s shit. Tony I am so sorry, please don’t hate me, Tony. Please forgive me.” She sobbed, now a whimpering mess. Seeing the usually well-kept woman in disarray, left Tony in shock. This was not his Pepper.

“Pepper! Calm down” Tony shouted, grabbing the frenzied woman’s shoulders finally breaking through her fit of self-guilt. “I chose to deal with Edward’s shit.”

“You didn’t know he wasn’t yours though Tony.”She cried. Her eyes were glazed over, and she was pink in the face.

“He is mine.”

Now sniveling, she feared he didn’t understand her because of the blubbering. “No you don’t understand. He’s not your biological son.”

“Pepper I do understand.” He confessed, smoothing out her sleeves.

She shook her head. Her bangs bounced all over the place as she wore her confusion. “What?”

“I hadn’t touched you in months, the night that he was conceived. I know I drank a lot, but did you really think I was that stupid?”

Directing her gaze away from his, she thought about it. “I guess I didn’t think about that. But then why didn’t you say anything?” She asked, meeting his eyes again.

He took in a sharp breath before he spoke. “Because I wasn’t the best husband to you. I was unfaithful. I was mean. And I was never there. I gave you every reason to cheat. In return, you gave me a beautiful boy. As much as we have our differences, I love Edward and I love you. I failed the two of you, and it’s you I should be asking for forgiveness from. Please forgive me.” He begged her, speaking in soft tones.

She was speechless. All these years she thought she was hiding a life-altering secret, when in reality Tony had known about it the entire time. He had even went far enough to claim a boy who hated him all his life as his own. Pepper knew Edward hated his father. She trained him to. She felt that if the two weren’t close to each other, her secret could become more bearable. Now she just hated herself for it. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Then don’t.” He said smiling, pulling her in for a hug. “Well don’t say anything after you tell me where Edward is.” Tony had one stop to make.

…..

He pulled up to the building, the sun’s beams bouncing off of the spotless glass. Suddenly his nerves were compromised. Much like his relationship with you, it had been five months since he had last spoken with his son.

Every step he took towards the elevator felt like overcoming mountains. The higher the lift took him, the harder it became for him to breathe. When the doors opened, it felt like the ground would give out from beneath him; would it send him flying back down to become paint on the building’s marble floors?

This was hard. If their relationship wasn’t strained before, it was now. Tony slept with his son’s girlfriend. While you didn’t mean much to Edward, it was the fact that his father could stoop to such low lengths, that hurt him. Tony hadn’t even offered so much as an apology. He didn’t feel he needed to. Edward didn’t really care about you. No. Of course he didn’t. But he still felt disrespected. Foolish. Betrayed.

Tony took in a sharp inhale. Then a deep exhale. He grasped the the handle to his old office door, pulling open it open to peak his head inside. Because it was the end of the day, relatively everyone was gone. It was just him and Edward. He had to make sure, just in case there was another brawl.

He saw him, packing his items into a cardboard box with intentions of leaving. “What? You can’t handle the pressures of becoming the CEO.” Tony joked.

“If you’re here to gloat, I don’t wanna hear it.” Edward didn’t spare his dad a glance, because he knew he was coming. Pepper had called and warned him to be nice.

“I’m not here to gloat.” Tony paused to fully step into view. “I’m here to ask you to stay.”

“I don’t want your fucking pity, Tony. I know you’re only doing this because you feel like it will make us even.” He bit. “Just so you know, it wont.”

“Do you really think I’d let you run a multi-billion dollar company, because I pity you?” Edward just kept packing, refusing to look up and acknowledge his father’s question. “I did it because you’re my son, and I raised you right. I can trust that Stark Industries will do fine in your hands.”

“So I guess, mom hasn’t told you the news huh? I am not your son. So don’t call me that.”

“You might not be my blood Edward. But you are my son. I am the one that raised you. And I love you–“

“You have a funny way of showing someone you love them.” He snapped, stopping his previous tasks to eye his father

“Edward. What are you really mad at? Who are you really mad at? You didn’t love her. And me and you are also not the closest.”

It was as if he could explode in anger. “I’m mad that you lied to my face! I’m mad that I confided in you, and you told me I had nothing to worry about! I’m mad that you have been doing this out in the open for over a year now. I’m mad that when I confronted you two, you didn’t apologize, in fact you smiled in my fucking face.” He had to calm himself. He took a seat, to stop his chest from rising and falling. His fit of rage had consumed him for a moment, but then sadness washed over his person. “I mean I knew you hated me dad. I just didn’t know to what extent, or even for what reason. Now I do.”

Guilt began to eat at Tony. “Edward. I didn’t know you felt this way.”

“Well you didn’t ask.” He pouted.

“I’m sorry, sweetie.” He sighed. “I really messed up badly this time.” He crossed the threshold, walking to sit on the desk, folding his hands in his lap as he leaned on its edge. It was a moment before he spoke again. “For the record I don’t hate you. Edward, you are my world. I failed to show you that, but please believe me when I say it's the truth.”

He placed a hand on the man’s back, rubbing circular motions for a round on his middle. “I knew there was a chance that I could hurt you by doing what I did. Yet still, I listened to my feelings and let go of my better judgement. From the bottom of my heart Edward, I am deeply sorry. Do you see us ever putting this all behind us?”

Edward glanced up at Tony, hurt still plastered on his face, but hope glimmering through his eyes. “Sure.” He responded softly, looked down at nothing for a moment, before meeting Tony’s line of sight again. “Dad.”

“Hmm?” Tony hummed, a small smile now playing on his features.

“If you ever get back with Y/N, don’t marry her. I can’t have slept with my mom.”

Ignoring his joke, Tony asked, “So you don’t care if I continue to pursue her?”

“No. I’m just happy you apologized” He barely gave Edward a second before he belted out a response.

“Good! I am so happy to hear that!” He said as he patted his back and leaped up. “Because I have a flight to catch. Don’t screw things up too much while I’m gone.”

He was practically out of the door before his son yelled for his attention.“Dad before you go, I just have one more question to ask.”

“Yes dear?” Tony questioned, placing a hand on the doorway to leave, turning his head slightly to focus on Edward.

Edward took his time asking, because he was unsure of himself. “If I loved her, would you have still pursued her?”

He only took a second to think about his next words. “Son if you loved her, we would have never been in this situation.” He responded. Edward pursed his lips in response, subtly nodding his head to show his content with the man’s answer.

And with that, Tony turned to leave. It was time to find his girl.

A/N Tell me what you think! Also please do not claim my work as your own. I love you all! @swaggysposts @retroxvailles I hope you guys like this chapter. Let me know if you see any errors.

#tony stark x reader #tony stark angst #Tony stark imagine #black reader #marvel imagines

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maknaesdancersrappers · 4 years

Text

Devoted 2

part 8

Overall warning/s: kinkier smut (eg. voyeurism, exhibition, etc.) character death, dark themes

Just how devoted is Jaehyun to you?

prev: Part 7

wc: 4.7k (i know it’s short, but an update is an update 🥺)

“Excuse me, but what is your right to hold my future godchild before me?” Doyoung scoffs, pointedly glaring at Kun, who began to laugh at him. “[Y/N]! How could you?!”

You shake your head and shrugged your shoulders, chuckling to yourself, “I didn’t ask Kun, Jaehyun did. Pick a fight with him, not me. Besides, Kun’s a doctor, not a banker.”

Kun nods, “I’m the obstetrician. Sorry, Doyoung.”

He huffed angrily cutting into the steak he ordered.

The three of you finally found a similar time slot to catch up with each other; spending an early dinner together at a restaurant Doyoung swears by. You were halfway through the main course when Kun teased Doyoung about being able to see and hold your kids before him which inevitably annoyed the latter. You had invited Jaehyun to join, but he told you he didn’t want to intrude as this was a mini reunion between high school friends.

“Oh,” You spoke up, halting their bickering, “I hope you two will be free in a month or so, we’re planning a housewarming party as soon as we move into the new house.”

“As long as it’s on a Sunday.” Doyoung says in between bites, covering his mouth with a fist.

You move your attention to Kun, who offers you an unsure smile.

“Hopefully, I’ll be free. But it’s a little busy in the hospital. I barely go home, to be honest. But don’t worry, I’ll do my best to go.”

“I understand if you really can’t.” You insisted, “But I hope you can.”

Doyoung hums, taking a swig of wine. “So in the end, only [Y/N] is getting married among the three of us.”

Kun takes offense to this, “Why are you implying that I don’t have plans at all? I’m just too busy as of the moment. I’m sure I’ll meet someone in the future. Are you still asexual?”

He narrowed his eyes at him, “Don’t make it sound like it’s a phase, Qian. I can’t help that I don’t feel sexual attraction to anyone.”

“But you had sex with that one girl.”

You gasped, almost spilling your iced tea. You leaned over, hissing at your best friend, “You had what?!”

Doyoung glares at Kun before sighing, “It was a one night stand. She’s a friend of a colleague I met at a birthday party. I’m not specifically attracted to her, but I’m not going to deny my body sexual gratification.”

“Okay, but why did you tell Kun before me?” You were very appalled by this new knowledge, but it bothered you more that he didn’t tell you first.

“I didn’t plan to! We ran into her when we met a bar and this guy,” He gestures to Kun with visible annoyance, “just ‘knew’ we had a past.”

“Seemed like she wanted a round two.” Kun teases and you narrow your eyes at Doyoung.

“Did you go for round two.”

The man in question raises his brows and looks away, choosing to take a lengthy sip of his drink.

“Oh, he did.” You and Kun said in unison, giving each other a knowing look.

“It’s purely physical.” Doyoung defends, practically slamming his wine glass on the table, “Besides, she doesn’t have time for a relationship. She’s a divorce attorney.”

You reached out and put a hand over his wrist, “We’re just teasing, Dons. Do whatever you want. You’re an adult; just, you know, be careful.”

“I am, don’t worry. The last thing I need is to get someone I don’t even love pregnant.” He dismisses the topic, “Speaking of, have the two of you decided on names? More importantly, will you name one after me?”

Retracting your hand away from him, you laugh at his question, “Sorry, Dons, but I don’t think we plan on naming one after you.”

He fakes a hurt expression, “Well, I hope you don’t name them something ridiculous.”

“He wants a daughter named after me, that’s for sure.” You swirl the contents of your glass around, “I was thinking of the same if we had a son, maybe Woojae or something, but I don’t want to dwell on it yet. I have other things to think about.”

The night crawls on; Doyoung pays for the meal and the three of you continue to lounge at the restaurant to finish your respective desserts. It feels nostalgic to be with them; you didn’t think it would ever happen since Kun left for China all of a sudden with no proper goodbye or explanation why. It’s surreal to see both of them matured into men when — what felt like yesterday — they were just scrawny teenage boys. Doyoung had gotten rid of his lisp and got lasik surgery. Kun was more eloquent now with words and confident with himself. You didn’t think you were going to miss being with them until tonight.

“Crap,” Doyoung grumbles after receiving a message, “I have to go. There’s been a hack in our system.”

“Oh, no. Will everything be alright?” You watched him grab his jacket he had draped on the back of the chair and shrug it on.

He nods, although unsurely, “We have amazing computer technicians in the company; I’m sure they’ve handled it well. I just need to make sure everything is okay at the office. I’m sorry about this.”

“Take care, Doyoung, and don’t apologize. It’s not your fault, hopefully everything’s okay.” Kun glances at you, “I should be heading back as well. I have an early morning.”

“Will Mr. Kyung pick you up?” Doyoung asks while pushing his chair back.

You stood up and slung your purse over your shoulder, “No, I was going to call for a cab.”

“Let me drive you home.” Kun offers and Doyoung insists you do so you agreed.

You and Kun see him off before heading over to Kun’s car and you input your address into his GPS; it was only a 10 minute drive even with the traffic. The journey started quietly, almost a little awkward.

“[Y/N].” He clears his throat and you glanced at him, “You know, I’m really glad that you’re happy; that you found someone to care for you.”

“Thanks, Kun…” Something felt a little off with his tone.

“I… had no control of what happened to us back in high school. I was scared when I left; we ended things on a bad note and—”

“Kun, it’s fine. The past is past; why are you telling me this? If you didn’t have control over it, then you don’t have to apologize for anything.” You had to admit there was a little venom in the way you spoke, but Kun didn’t seem to flinch at your tone.

“The past is past…” He repeated, “You’re just going to let things go because it was in the past?”

You frowned at him, not understanding what he wanted to say.

“[Y/N], there’s something you need to know; about why my family suddenly flew back to China.”

“Why? Why do I have to know? You make it sound like it’s my fault.” You honestly didn’t want to talk about this. “And you make it sound like it was a bad thing! You said there were better opportunities for your parents back in China.”

He groans, clearly frustrated, “Yes, they did. Their salary back there couldn’t compare to what they made here.”

“Why can’t we leave it at that? It was all perfect timing back then.”

“It wasn’t perfect timing, [Y/N].” His jaw is clenched, hissing the words out through gritted teeth. “There’s more to it than you think.”

You scoffed, “Okay, fine, so what? It doesn’t change the fact that your parents hated me.”

“My parents—” He swallows, trying to get his bearings, and speaks in a softer tone, “My parents never hated you, [Y/N]. They loved you; especially my dad. He was fond of you because you reminded him of my grandfather.”

“Then why the sudden hostility? Why did they try and stop us from seeing each other? The sudden curfew, the phone bans?”

“My grades dropped a letter and they just wanted me to focus in school! You know I was on scholarship so they were strict about my grades. It was never about separating us!”

“Then that night!” You cried, voice echoing in the small vehicle, “Your mother looked me in the eyes and said these exact words; ‘I don’t want you to date my son.’ Explain that!”

Kun takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. The glaring red brake lights of the cars in front seemed to make the mood worse as he looks at you pensively. “They didn’t want to do that, [Y/N].”

“Kun, please.” You rolled your eyes, “Your parents made it very clear—”

“Will you just listen to me for a sec? Qīn—”

“Shut up!” You screeched, panicking at the nickname you haven’t heard in years. “You don’t have the right to call me that.”

He shakes his head, distraught at the car honking behind him, and he starts to drive again, “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to call you that. It just came out—”

“Pull over.” You heaved; it felt like you can’t breathe, the air was too heavy, and the interior made you feel claustrophobic. “Pull over!” You don’t even recognize your voice as you screamed again.

Kun pulls over at the next opening and you unbuckle your belt, “[Y/N], I’m sorry. I swear, I didn’t mean to upset you… [Y/N], I’m just trying to protect you.”

A curt laugh bubbles from your chest, “From what? If this was about our relationship years ago, you could have protected me then! You’re years too late, Kun.”

Your words cut through him; hurt evident in his eyes as he hopelessly stares back at you.

“And I hate depending on him but,” You sniffed, “I have Jaehyun now. He can protect me and you don’t even know how safe I am with him. So if I’m in danger, I know Jaehyun will do anything in his power to protect me.”

His face doesn’t give anymore emotions as he unlocks the door and you start to leave until he speaks up again, “From who.”

You look back at him, confused.

Kun doesn’t meet your gaze, just staring forward, “I’m not protecting you from something. I’m protecting you from someone. Or at least I tried to.”

“Thanks, but…” You paused, seeing the slightest movement from his brows, “Jaehyun can handle it.”

He doesn’t say anything else and you get out of his car, waiting for him to pull back into the traffic and watch him drive away. You looked around, you were just a block away from your apartment so you began to walk towards it.

You’re willing yourself not to dwell on what happened in the car ride, but you couldn’t help repeating Kun’s voice when he accidentally called you by the pet name he used for you. You don’t know why you reacted that way when you heard it again. It gave you an overwhelming sense of nostalgia, but the way he said it bothered you; he sounded desperate.

You arrive home and the second you step inside, you lock the door and cautiously peered through the peephole. There was no one there and you didn’t feel like anyone was following you, so why did you even check?

Tea, you think. Tea will help you calm your nerves. As you scurry off into the kitchen after removing your shoes, tossing your purse onto the counter, you stare at the kettle.

Qin

Tea won’t make you forget.

Jaehyun came home at 9PM, tugging off the knot of his tie loose and debating on calling out for you; unsure if you’re busy or asleep. He was about to make a bee-line towards the bedroom to check on you, but skids to a stop when he notices your body slumped over the coffee table. His blood ran cold, dropping his things onto the ground and running towards you.

The thud of his items jolts you awake, whipping your head to the source of the sound and gasping in fear when your blurry vision sees a dark mass coming at you with arms raised forward. You try to move away, but your drunken limbs wouldn’t cooperate. You hear your name in a panic tone and you visibly relax when you recognize Jaehyun’s voice; your vision finally focusing on his worried expression as he knelt in front of you.

It was only then did Jaehyun realize the empty vodka bottle by the table and the shot glass laying on its side by your legs. He looks back at you, “What’s wrong?”

You threw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and using his scent to calm yourself down. You felt like crying, but tears won’t come out.

“Hey,” He ran his hand over your back repeatedly and kissed the side of your head, “Hey, it’s okay. I’m here. It’s alright.”

That was all you needed to hear; the anxiety left your mind and the jitters stopped. Whatever Kun was talking about, you didn’t have to worry about it as long as you were with Jaehyun.

He feels your body relax and he pulls away a bit to see you passed out. He sighs, pulling you back close to him and kissing your forehead, rocking your bodies to a silent rhythm. He doesn’t know what’s wrong, but he’s not going to wait for you to wake up and tell him about it. Once Jaehyun carried you to the bed and gingerly stripped your clothes off, he took off your makeup and tossed the wipes into the trash bin. He pulls the sheets up to your chin and gives you one last kiss on the cheek before retrieving his phone from where he dropped it earlier.

He presses a number on the speed dial and walks to the window, peering down at the night life of the city.

“Sir.”

“What happened before she got home?”

“Everything seems good so far. Kyungwon mentioned how the pull-out kotatsu is working well?” You look around the empty space of Yuta’s apartment, already visualizing how to design and decorate it.

Yuta casually nods, “Yes, I’m quite impressed by her design, really. It’s quite convenient for the heater to turn on automatically after a certain length.”

“The tatami mats will be delivered tomorrow morning and installation will be done by the end of the week. Regarding the bathtub—”

“The ofuro.” He interjects and you repeat after him.

“The ofuro, yes, there’s a delay in shipping it. The company said it might take another week.”

Yuta shrugs, “If it can’t be helped. I don’t mind the wait.”

You look over the apartment once more, “Well, aside from that, after everything that needs to be installed is in place, we can begin putting furniture and decorating it the way you like it.”

The sun is setting outside and Yuta’s apartment has an amazing view of it; you check your watch for the time and hope you won’t get caught in the rush hour.

“Great!” He cheers, “Finally, a place I can call home. Although, I’ll miss room service.”

This makes you laugh, “Can’t cook?”

“I can if I have to, but I don’t have the time or luxury to do so with all the work I have. I’ve already hired the hotel chef to come by every other day to make something for me, you know, something I can easily reheat or throw all together.” He pauses, “Does Jaehyun cook? Or do you?”

“We both do. We take turns. But we have days when we live off on take-outs and deliveries.”

Yuta’s phone rings and he fishes it out of his pocket, lightheartedly scoffing before glancing at you. “Speak of the devil. Hello— hey, calm down man.”

You watch his expression grow concerned and confused as he looks at you.

“She’s here and she’s fine. I don’t know. I haven’t seen her take out her phone the whole time.”

Your phone? You spin around and dashed to your handbag on the counter, dissecting it for the said item but found it to be missing. You wonder out loud about its whereabouts, wracking your brain to remember where you last used it.

“[Y/N].” Yuta calls out to you and you turn to see him hand his phone out to you.

You take it from him, putting it over your ear, “Jaehyun?”

“Are you okay? Where’s your phone?”

“I— I don’t know. I must have misplaced it.” You licked your lips. He sounds so frantic. “I probably left it at the house by accident. I dropped by earlier since they started with remodeling and I remember using it last there.”

“Okay… okay. I’ll go look for it. Can you give the phone back to Yuta?”

“Jaehyun, what’s happening?”

“I’ll tell you later. I need you to go home right now.”

You hand the phone back to Yuta and with the look on your face, he puts the call on loudspeaker.

“Jaehyun?” He clears his throat.

“Yuta, I need you to take [Y/N] home. Please.”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll take her now…” You move back to where your bag is, zipping it back up to get ready to leave. “Is everything okay? I know it’s not exactly my business, but I’d like to know why I have to escort her home.”

The line was silent for a moment; eerie enough for you to peek over your shoulder just before Jaehyun finally replies.

“There was a threat made against her, Yuta. I don’t want to take chances.”

Your blood ran cold. Was this from the person Kun warned you about? But that can’t be, right? This person should have been from years ago. Did they find you again because of your engagement with Jaehyun?

You felt a hand on your shoulder and you gasped, backing away so quickly, you hit your hip on the edge of the counter. You winced in pain, but brought back to your senses and looked up at Yuta with wide eyes.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have touched you. You’re obviously distraught.” He says, taking a step back.

“No, no, it’s fine. I’m okay. Let’s just go.”

The walk from the apartment, to the elevator, and to Yuta’s car was tense. For you, at least. Yuta kept it cool; walking casually. On the other hand, you followed closely behind him, trying to inconspicuously check your surroundings for shady characters. When you got to his car, he opened the door for you and you quickly got in.

“Relax, [Y/N]. It can very well be just a prank.”

You give it a thought. He has a point. But the fact Kun told you he wanted to protect you from someone a couple of days ago rang at the back of your mind. Maybe you should have told Jaehyun what happened; why you suddenly decided to get drunk in the middle of the week. He didn’t press you for a reason, probably chalking up to it as stress from work.

“Unless,” Yuta interrupts your train of thought, “Jaehyun has enemies? Or you have some stalker?”

“—I don’t!” You vehemently denied, choking on your own spit. You cover it up with a nervous chuckle, “I mean, who would take interest in me?”

“Jaehyun took interest in you.” Yuta hums, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. “But in our business, we’re bound to make enemies without even knowing it.”

“You think Jaehyun pissed someone off?”

He doesn’t answer immediately, focusing on driving for a few minutes and checking the rear view mirror. “There’s a lot of greedy men out there, [Y/N]. Plenty of them are petty, too.”

It was completely dark out by the time you reached your apartment. When he escorted you all the way up to your room, you asked him to stay until Jaehyun returned. He seemed to hesitate, but relented once he noticed just how scared you were.

“Would you like anything to drink? Tea? Coffee?” Your eyes shift to the wine cooler, “Vodka?”

Yuta looks at you incredulously, “I don’t think this is the right time to drink alcohol, [Y/N]. If anything, I think I should be preparing you some tea.”

“No, no, I’ll make it myself. Please, make yourself comfortable.” You grabbed the kettle and filled it up with water. “What kind would you like?”

“Hmm? Anything is fine.”

His voice sounded like he wasn’t seated at the counter nor the living room. Once you turned the stove on, you walked out into the hallway to find him looking at the photos on the wall. It almost freaked you out, until you saw him smiling at the photos — almost innocently at them.

He realizes your presence and stutters out an apology. “Sorry, I just really admire your relationship. It makes me wish I had someone to protect and care for. You must feel pretty lucky to have someone like him… someone who’d go out of their way to protect you.”

“There’s no one more I’d trust my life with.” You chuckled, showing off your engagement ring. “I just wish he’d—”

You stopped yourself, hoping he didn’t catch it, but he curiously peeks at you over his shoulder and you inwardly curse yourself as you try to rephrase what you were about to say.

“He’s just…” There’s no way to sugarcoat what you wanted to say. “He’s overprotective. And I appreciate it, I really do. It’s just… he doesn’t have to go out of his way to do so.”

Yuta laughs, “He’s a billionaire, [Y/N], what exactly does ‘out of his way’ mean?”

“I mean, he doesn’t have to overdo it.” You sighed, realizing a split second later that he could interpret your words wrongly. You open your mouth to correct yourself, but he beats you to it.

“Overdo it?” He repeats, “Like…”

The kettle begins to whistle and you quickly excuse yourself to prepare the tea. When you turn the stove off, you hear the front door open and Jaehyun’s voice calling out to both you and Yuta. You hear Yuta greet him and tell him that you’re preparing tea just as you round the corner and almost collide face first into Jaehyun’s chest.

“[Y/N]!” He grabs your shoulders and hugs you.

“Jaehyun, what’s happening?” You pushed him away, feeling a little shy since Yuta was there.

He lets out a heavy breath, “I received a note while I was at the office. It questioned your safety.”

“What does that mean? What did the note say exactly?”

“Is she safe?” Jaehyun clears his throat, “And it had a picture of you, Doyoung, and Kun from that night you three met up for dinner.”

Your fingers began to shake uncontrollably, Kun’s warning flooding back into your mind. “...From who?”

The look of regret on your fiance’s face tells you he hasn’t found out yet who sent the photo, “I don’t know. The note was slipped into the receptionist desk somehow.”

“Mina doesn’t remember where it came from or who handed it to her?’

“Mina hasn’t come into work for two days now. The temporary secretary there is overwhelmed with the work that piled up for her, so I can’t blame her if she doesn’t remember who or where the note came from.”

“Security cameras?” Yuta pipes up, but Jaehyun shakes his head. “I was told my people have already installed it.”

“The cameras were set up, but there was a system error on our end. There’s no footage.”

You walk off towards the windows and cross your arms, overwhelmed with the urge to vomit. Jaehyun calls for you and you shrugged your shoulders, “Maybe it’s just a prank? That’s possible, right?”

“Yes, it is.” Jaehyun pauses, slowly nodding his head, “But I don’t want to take chances, [Y/N], not when it concerns you.”

“Would you have any idea who would be behind this, Jaehyun?”

He looks at Yuta and frowns, “Not a single clue.”

You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth; you should tell him about what Kun told you.

“Jaehyun, [Y/N], if you need anything, I’ll gladly help. I can have my team set up surveillance cameras here — free of charge. You can even have the feed be sent straight to your phones.”

“My phone.” You gasped, remembering it was missing. Before you could panic, Jaehyun fishes it out of his pocket and holds it out to you.

“It was at the house.”

Checking the notifications, there were nearly a hundred missed calls from both him and Doyoung. You peer up at him while calling Doyoung. “You told Doyoung?”

“Of course. I thought he would know something.”

“[Y/N]?! Where the fuck—”

“I’m fine! I’m safe! I just left my phone at the house this morning and didn’t notice! I’m sorry for making you worry.” You continue to calm your best friend down, promising to be careful and such. By the time you are done with the call, Yuta announces he should head back to his hotel.

“I should get going. Take care, you two.”

You walk back to them, “Oh, please stay for dinner. As a thanks for bringing me back home and even waiting for Jaehyun with me.”

He smiles, “Maybe some other day? I’m expecting a conference call with my family later and I wouldn’t want you guys to hear a bunch of angry Japanese.”

“Oh,” You purse your lips, “Okay. Some other day then?

“Yuta, thank you again for bringing her home and waiting with her. It really put my mind at ease to know she’s not alone.” Jaehyun puts an arm around you and you lean into him.

“Don’t mention it, Jaehyun, so tell me if I could be of any help, I’ll gladly do so.”

You both see Yuta off, waiting for him to enter the elevator and waving one last time before closing the door and locking it for the night. You turn to Jaehyun, who immediately reacts to your touch.

“Don’t worry,” He whispers, “You’ll be okay, baby. I’ll take care of it.”

“I know. I know you will.” You tug at his arms and he leans down to kiss you, letting your lips mold against each other. When he pulls away, you lick your lips, “I’m going to make tea. Would you like some?”

“I’m good. I’ll finish up some work. Get some sleep after, okay? I’ll be with you as soon as I’m done.”

You watch him walk off towards his home office and you make your way back to the stove to reheat the kettle. Your eye catches the photo Yuta was looking at; it was your graduation photo with him, both of you dressed in the dark gown and proudly clutching onto your diplomas, but had noticeably harder grips on each other. Everything seemed simpler back then with nothing to worry about other than school, rent, and what to eat daily.

Why didn’t you tell him about what Kun told you?

No, why couldn’t you tell him?

You look back to where he disappeared into; now determined to solve this on your own.

Inside his home office, Jaehyun carefully closes the blinds of the little window on the door and pulls out the note he had received earlier.

He didn’t want to lie to you. Especially not about something like this. It still involved you, however the safety being compromised wasn’t just yours.

He opens the crumpled note back up, rereading the 3 words over and over again. His gaze moves to the photo it came with. It really was of you, Doyoung, and Kun.

It just wasn’t from a couple days ago; nor was it a couple of weeks either. Anyone could tell with one look how far back it was. You were standing in a music store, watching Doyoung pick an album from the stand in front of you, beside you stood Kun, just barely recognizable and the only telltale sign was the beauty mark on his brow. What stood out the most was that all three of you wore your high school uniforms.

Jaehyun crumples it up, angrily closing his fist around the photo. He brings the note back up and clicks his tongue.

Does she know?

a/n: an update since quarantine sucks. this chapter is a lot shorter only because i’m still not in right headspace to write, but i’ve been working on something devoted-related (not a fic or anything written) and it’s getting me back into writing again.

next: part 9

~ buy me a peach? but why?

#nct smut #nct scenarios #jaehyun smut #jaehyun scenarios

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marcilled · 3 years

Text

5 years

It was 5 years ago today that a humble little minecraft server first opened its gates. 5 years ago, I started @quixol with a team of 8 friends. Today, only 4 of those original friends are still on our Staff team, and the server is a shadow of its former self.

There’s a lot I could talk about with Quixol, but before I get into it, I just want it to be known that this is a highly personal post from me. This isn’t an official announcement, but seeing as I’m an admin, it’s definitely of pertinence if you are someone who is a part of the Quixol community.

If you’re new to following me, or just don’t know what I’m talking about: Quixol is a trans-friendly minecraft server started by me and a few pals back on November 16, 2015. It’s primarily populated by folks from here on Tumblr, and is an LGBT+ only community. Over its 5 years, it’s gotten over 1600 unique players. And... Well, there’s a lot of history that took place during and after that, I can’t hope to summarize it here. You can see more on the about page on our blog.

So, yeah. Today is the 5-year anniversary of Quixol. Pretty big deal! And... we have nothing in store for today to celebrate that huge milestone. Pretty big bummer. The prior 4 years, the anniversary was the single biggest celebration of the year. We typically tried to schedule large server updates to coincide with the anniversary, just to make it feel that much more special. So, on the day that marks a whole half-decade of being online, why do we have no plans? It’s a long, complicated story. I’ll only be able to tell you my side of it. Everything written below is from my perspective, and doesn’t necessarily reflect how others think or feel.

Regardless of the lonely feeling on the server now, I just want to say, I’m really glad I could host such a fantastic community for so many years. Thank you everyone who has made the past half decade so special.

Long retrospective below (plus, discussion about Quixol’s future):

-----

Where to begin... All I can say at the start here is, don’t expect anything coherent, I typed this up while sleep deprived just the night before posting this, without much forethought of what I’d say in it. I just feel I need to get these feelings off my chest before I can mentally move on, you know.

Before I delve into this, I just want to put this sort of disclaimer at the top here: Despite how gloomy I make things sound throughout this post, Quixol is and was an amazing place, that I’m so glad to say I got to play such a pivotal role in. I wouldn’t trade my time here for anything. It’s been an honor to serve as an Admin over such an incredible community. I’ve seen countless new friendships forged, plenty of laughs and fun times to be had... I’ve even known several couples that met through their time on Quixol, I’ve known several people that came out or discovered more about their identity/gender/sexuality while on Quixol. It’s a great community, despite its flaws, and what we did over these past 5 years is nothing short of spectacular. I’m forever thankful for everyone who helped make this place as special as it is- you’ve all been such great friends. Thank you.

While I may speak a great deal about some of the lowest lows that happened on Quixol, you better believe it had some of the highest highs as well. Keep that in mind, so you know why I’m spending this much time and effort to commemorate this server that I’ve called home for so long.

I’ll start here with a rough timeline of Quixol... I’ll even include some screenshots for you all.

Old World (Nov. 2015 - Mar. 2017, mc 1.8 - 1.9)

Quixol began back in 2015 like I mentioned- whitelisted at first, but moved on to being unwhitelisted at a later date (I believe it was summer of 2016). Hundreds of people joined after the whitelist was removed, in just the first month or so. We owe that initial success to how much our blog post about the server got shared around, it served as a nice advertisement for the server. It was only posted to tumblr, so everybody who joined then was from the same sort of social sphere of 2016 tumblr. It was pretty lively, and we made lots of friends very quickly. A lot never logged in again after the first initial burst, but a fair amount stuck around.

The server started on minecraft version 1.8, which was before the end update that introduced elytra & all the controversial combat changes. Most people never even saw the server on this version, though, since it was still whitelisted when we updated to 1.9. The world we used back in 2015-2016 eventually got deleted at a later date, however we did provide an archive of this old world to download, it’s... somewhere on our blog, you can go find it if you poke around a bit. (Assuming the download hasn’t been removed from the website I uploaded it to, which would make sense since it’s just 20 gb sitting on some server doing nothing).

While there was plenty of merriment, there was also the fair share of drama. I can’t even hope to recall all the drama that happened in 2016, but one of our og mods got banned completely after the rest of the staff sort of woke up to the realization they were incredibly abusive. There’s lots of other stuff that happened then- I wish I could tell the “full tale” as it were, but it would be so long-winded that almost nobody would bother to read. Plus, my memory isn’t very good, so I would need to dig through old blog posts, discord messages, screenshots, etc etc to jog my memory... way too much work.

Protos (Mar. 2017 - Nov. 2018, mc 1.11 - 1.12)

2017 came around, and that’s when we updated the server to 1.11 and created a new world (Protos). That update happened on March 26, 2017- I remember because march 26th is my birthday, and the other staff made a cute little celebration for me on that day and I literally cried from how happy I was. It was the nicest thing anyone’s done for me in a long time. (God, I miss those times.)

A lot more happened during this time period, and honestly I’d consider the period in which Protos was our main, active world to be the most consistently active the server has ever been. It wasn’t always exploding with activity, but the people who joined and played during this time were consistent. And we had a relatively consistent influx of new players.

There was a lot more drama that happened during this time... More staff members left, mostly of their own accord (but never on a wholly positive note). Drama amongst some of the veteran/long-time players, arguments over how to interpret and enforce our rules.

Regardless of the troubles, I’d say this period was overall quite positive for Quixol. We even brought in our first batch of new staff members during this period.

Ghalea (Nov. 2018 - Present, mc 1.13 - 1.15)

I believe late 2018 was when we updated the server from 1.12 to 1.13. We rushed the update to this version quite a lot, which was a shame since it ensured the server had an egregious amount of bugs to work out, and lots of missing plugins/functionality. With this update, we made another new world (and, our current main world): Ghalea.

Regardless of buggy behavior, we managed to hit what I believe is the all-time peak concurrent player count we have ever gotten, which is something like 54-56 players playing at the same time. The server chugged so hard, I’m surprised it didn’t crash. All of those parties were so stressful to put on, but at the same time, incredibly fun and fulfilling to see when lots of people showed up and had a good time.

Funny, though: despite the success of the server, 2018 and early 2019 are the closest the server has ever gotten to absolutely tearing itself apart from internal staff drama. By early-mid 2019, several staff members ended up getting banned one after the other. So that left us with very few staff by that point (only 6 active staff, myself included, if I remember correctly).

2019 should have been a great year for Quixol, seeing as it was what many people referred to as the “minecraft renaissance”, “the great minecraft revival”, etc etc etc. However, the drama amongst the staff, coupled with drama in our personal lives, and just an all around lack of staff members to kick things into gear, resulted in a pretty lackluster year compared to the previous 4 years.

Despite all of that, we worked tirelessly to complete our greatest project yet, Chroma Park, just before our 4th anniversary on Nov 16th, 2019. It took a whole team of builders to complete, and several months in preparation/building.

With such a grand project completed, you would expect it would result in a flurry of new activity on the server... unfortunately, it ended up being almost the opposite. Because we called upon our “build team” to help with it, (several talented veteran players who volunteered their building skills), nearly all of our active players suffered some serious burnout after the major project they just completed. Lots of people just weren’t feelin’ up to minecraft anymore... And, that spelled the beginning of the end, really.

The culmination of this was that, going into 2020, activity on the server just... plummeted. Then, we all know what a shit year 2020 turned into. That just furthered feelings of burnout. I made another personal post about this, back in April- explaining why I had been relatively absent from the server for a while. It goes into more detail about the “hiatus” at that time, what caused it, why it continued so long, and how my personal feelings were at that time. Give it a read if you want. It even goes more in-depth about some of Quixol’s former staff, and how toxic behavior from them may have negatively impacted the community (especially in 2018-2019).

So, basically nothing has happened on Quixol in 2020... I took the time to update the server from 1.14 to 1.15 back in July, just so that the server was on a more stable version of minecraft- but all the effort poured into that resulted in basically nothing happening. Barely anyone even noticed, because it was such a minor update focusing on bug fixes. I hoped it would get the ball rolling again, but it just wasn’t enough.

While I wasn’t ready to throw in the towel just yet, I decided it was for the best if I put any plans on the backburner for a while, and focus more attention on building infrastructure back up again. I spent some time researching sysadmin stuff, and looking into upgrading my PC. I set up a new discord bot that we’re currently using on Quixol, & have in a few other discord servers I’m active in.

Then, I got tossed one of the most difficult months of my life in a long time pretty recently. It’s very recent/fresh, but suffice it to say, a decent chunk of what made it such a horrible month was related to drama within the Quixol friend group, particularly... me being a shitty friend. I made another post about this a while back, but I won’t link it since it’s a bit vague and not super relevant to what I’m talking about here. Just know, September this year pretty much demolished any feelings of hope I had for continuing work on Quixol.

So, that leads us to... Today. The 5th anniversary of Quixol.

Where did it all go wrong?

Now that I’ve laid out as quick a summary of the past 5 years as I could, I want to talk about some of the mistakes we made along the way. The people that made Quixol what it is, and how that history always seems to tie me down.

To tell you the truth, saying that “it all went wrong” sounds horribly pessimistic to me. Sure, I felt pessimistic going into writing this, but... Just looking back on everything we’ve accomplished, there’s never really a point where it “went wrong”. Moreso, Quixol has had its fair share of flaws baked in from the very beginning. But, perhaps those flaws are what made it what it really is. I can’t go back and change the past, and neither can you. Perhaps the best we can do is just accept Quixol for what it is, and acknowledge its shortcomings while allowing ourselves to feel happy about the good memories we do have.

While I’m not going to cast away every pleasant memory I have of Quixol, I must admit I find so many of them tainted and forever changed, just because of how many people entered this community, made their stay known, then left or were cast away on a sour note. There are countless people that were a huge part of Quixol, of my life, my friends, that I don’t speak to anymore. People that hate me. Maybe even some that I hate.

If I go back and think fondly of those times, I remember how the people in those memories largely don’t think fondly of me anymore. I remember all of my mistakes, all of the ways I could have avoided that outcome. All the ways I could have worked with those friends, to work out our differences, to just fucking communicate. Sure... some of those friends, there was nothing I could do for them. Nothing I could do to make things work. But, all the same... it stings, thinking of everyone I used to know. Not knowing who is still a friend, or who simply has no need for me anymore...

So much of Quixol’s history is tied up in knots this way. Complicated webs of emotion, suffocating in the tethers to its past. So many things built on the server, just wasting away, never to be touched again... New players won’t even know it. They don’t know, can’t know the history behind those blocks that were placed. It sounds a bit silly talking about it this way, but that’s how it feels to me. There’s real history behind each of these blocks, all of the little farms and structures and silly signs. So much of it, nobody even knows. But it wears on my heart, knowing all of that history, and feeling so disconnected from it. Feeling cast away by the people who forged those memories.

It’s a disconnect that’s always hurt, to me. Maybe I’m just too sentimental, nostalgic. Maybe I cling to the past too much. But it feels impossible to ignore... So much of what made Quixol what it is today was left there by people who want nothing to do with me, us, anymore. What does that say about Quixol? About me...? About our group?

There’s a lot I could say about this, but it’s stuff I’ve mentioned before. I hang on too tightly to the past, and am often too critical of my own mistakes. But, sometimes the past is just the way it is, and there’s not much that can be done about it. Regardless, I find myself feeling regrets about every little thing that went wrong, and thinking about where all those people are now... Maybe one of them is even reading this right now. If you’re out there, hey. We can still talk. I’m not going to hold a grudge on you forever. It’s ok.

My influence

Since Quixol began in 2015, I’ve tried my best to be nothing more than an “Admin” of Quixol... not the “owner” or “lead admin” or “founder”, just “admin”. I hoped I could encourage the other admins to be leaders in their own rights. While each of the admins we’ve had has been great leaders in their own respect, I feel that every one of them has been, unfortunately, tied down by my influence to some extent.

In most aspects of life, I’m a very timid, indecisive person. I’m incredibly anxious, and lack confidence to a worrying degree. However, a different side of me can be seen in the safe, comfortable environment that Quixol provided for me. Surrounded by friends and people who I felt really got me, I became comfortable enough to show some level of confidence in myself... In all honesty, for a long time, I was never able to recognize this self confidence for what it was. I really was not, and mostly still am not, used to feeling confident in myself or my own abilities. Like, at all. So when I actually feel good about myself, like I actually know what I’m doing... Well, for a really long time, I didn’t even process it as such. I just felt like I knew the right answers, and that was it.

On Quixol, this often manifested in a specific way... Being proud of my own knowledge & skills with minecraft, I would insert myself into any discussion about Minecraft, the server, or just anywhere I could, and offer up my knowledge, opinions & help. This hardly sounds like a problem, but... The problem was just in my unwavering presence. I was everywhere on Quixol, you couldn’t escape me. I dominated the space with my presence. Not that I interrupted people (usually...?), I just would try to put myself anywhere a conversation was happening, assuming it was, like, appropriate for me to do so on some level.

Whenever I chimed in with my thoughts, eventually there became this sort of air of almost... superiority about it. This feeling that my word was “final”, or that I had some layer of expertise on everything, and that if I said what you said was right, that was a pretty good indicator you were on the right track. I didn’t pretend like I was infallible, and I don’t think anyone ever saw me as that. But the perception was generally that if Vivian says it, that holds weight to it. Perhaps this is somewhat unavoidable of a staff member, but... it was this way even amongst the staff.

I never really realized that I was creating this environment within the community, because it happened rather slowly. But as things moved along, other staff began to pick up on this (perhaps subconsciously). Including even the other admins. Quickly, my own insistence on doing things a Specific Way, became “the Right Way” to do things on Quixol... Whether I intended it or not.

Now, this is something I didn’t know until quite recently, but I actually have OCD (undiagnosed, but it’s glaringly obvious to me at this point). My ocd comes out in minecraft, and specifically Quixol, quite a lot. I have very ritualistic ways of doing things, whether it be while building a project in-game, to managing specific parts of the server- we have a very detailed format in which update logs are written, and I have very specific rituals related to updating plugins on the server, taking backups, etc. Even just the way I play survival minecraft has sorts of rituals in a way, like specific patterns in which I place torches. I’m not too educated on ocd, so excuse me if I’m using some terminology of this wrong, or if I’m spreading some sort of misinformation about it. This is just my experience.

Anyhow, with the extremely regimented way I manage things on the server, coupled with my constant presence in things, you can understand how this might lead to other admins, who have their own mental illness issues, to become very averse to doing a lot of admin-related duties. After months and months, years, even, of this sort of stuff... and... yeah. That leads to where we are now.

With my selfish behavior in the past, I’ve unintentionally created this staff environment where people are reluctant to make their own decisions, show their own creativity, etc. And that must feel incredibly frustrating if you actually want to do something to make a difference on Quixol...

I’m not even accounting for all the times I’ve butted heads with the other staff before, either. While much less frequent, I’ve definitely had arguments with folks in the past. And with the great amount of influence I hold over the server, it takes a lot of courage to stand up to what I say.

I’ve always resented that I hold this position of power over everyone else, and tried many times to address it. However, I don’t think I ever quite had a full picture of why things were this way. Now, I think I understand it better. Sadly, it feels too little, too late to make any significant changes without uprooting pretty much everything we have set in place already. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe I’m being too pessimistic here... But, this is how I feel at the present moment.

I’m sincerely sorry to any current or former staff members, who have wanted to do something great for Quixol, but felt they could never convince me to go through with your idea... Or who felt pushed away from doing something they otherwise would’ve liked to, just because the attitude I gave, the environment my presence created, made you feel like you weren’t good enough or qualified enough to do it. You are good enough. I’m so sorry that my actions made you convinced otherwise...

I will say, this sort of mindset of mine, that I have to be the Most Right about anything relating to minecraft, or any hyperfixation/special interest of mine, has caused problems elsewhere, too. I talked about this in another post I made. I’ve only really come to realize all this stuff within the past few months, but I’ve been a really terrible friend to a lot of people. I never even realized until recently just how often I struggle with empathy, and how that’s colored so many of my friendships. Needless to say, it’s affected things on Quixol before, sometimes without me even realizing it.

My influence over the community also means if anybody’s relations with me in particular ever become marred, it must inevitably result in them leaving the community because there’s simply no escaping me. There’s not really anything I can do about this, though, aside from doing whatever I can to become a kinder, more

I’m far from a perfect person, and my imperfections seeped into so much of what made Quixol what it is. However, it’d be silly to suggest that I’m the singular reason that Quixol is flawed, if anything, that would be another form of arrogance- assuming that I singlehandedly shaped the way Quixol took form. No, it was always a team effort, and every single staff and community member held great influence of their own.

The Future

This part is probably why many of you clicked on this post... You want to know what’s going to happen to Quixol. You likely noticed I’ve been referring to Quixol in the past tense a lot in this post. Honestly, I’m not sure why I did that, it just felt the most natural to type it that way. But, I will be honest- the future of Quixol right now isn’t looking very bright.

This is a personal post, so I don’t want to deliver any sort of formal announcement about plans for Quixol here, especially since I haven’t run this post by the other staff before posting it.

For the past 2 and a half months, I’ve been taking a very long break from Quixol. Much greater than any previous break of mine... I’ve neglected to even log in for weeks at a time. I still keep an eye on the discord server, and check the mc <-> discord bridge channel to see which players have been logging in. But I have little to no motivation to play, even just casually.

While I’d love to give you some fun cool news about how this hiatus is ending soon and I have a million and one projects planned, that simply isn’t the case. I’ve gotten to this point where I’m rethinking everything about myself, who I am, and what I’m doing with my life. Surely, I can’t dedicate all my time and energy to running a minecraft server for the rest of my life, even though I do care deeply about this community. But at the same time, it’s not really my call to shut down Quixol, and I’d hate to pull the plug just because of my own lack of motivation.

So, for the time being at least, you can probably consider Quixol to be on a sort of “indefinite hiatus”. I am generally the one to update plugins, do major server updates, etc., and I likely won’t be doing any of that any time soon. I fully entrust the other staff to handle that stuff if they really want to, and I’ve expressed that to them already. But as things stand, nobody else seems to want to pick up the torch right now. Shit is rough for pretty much everyone, and we’re all equally burnt out. We’ve all grown up quite a lot since Quixol began, too. So... Don’t expect anything anytime soon.

If there are any updates, they’ll come in our Discord server first.

As for me, personally... I just need time away from all of this. It’s clearer than ever to me that I have a lot of personal problems I need to work on, and I think that the cozy safe environment provided by Quixol didn’t challenge me enough to really address those issues. I need time to focus on myself & my own growth. At the same time, I also feel like I need more experience being a part of a team, instead of just running the show. I’m not getting the kind of enrichment I need from running Quixol, so I’m trying to turn my attention elsewhere.

I’m doing this not because I want to abandon you guys, or because I feel like I want/need to move on from this community. It’s just... Something I need to do, for myself. And I’ll still be around, I’m still gonna be posting to my tumblr & twitter and stuff, and you can still reach me on discord. I’m just focusing my time elsewhere for once.

What does that mean for the future of Quixol? I don’t really know yet. But, for now, it’s not going anywhere. It’s just... also not changing anytime soon. Not even a little bit. I’m sorry to give you this disappointing news, but I hope you all understand.

I miss the good times on Quixol, too. I really do. Maybe we can share them again sometime? Who knows...

For now, that’s all.

It breaks my heart that we don’t have anything glitzy and glamorous to do to celebrate Quixol’s 5th anniversary... But it would be asking far too much of the staff to set anything like that up right now. Maybe we can have some sort of celebration later...? I dunno.

I hope you’re all staying safe & healthy out there. Thank you so much for reading this. I love all of you.

Happy birthday, Quixol.

#vivi bleats #txt #Quixol #long post

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artificialqueens · 3 years

Text

Pretty in Pearls, Chapter 5 (Jankie) - Plastiquedoll

read on ao3 💄| previous chapters

A/N: hi! here's a short update but I still hope you enjoy it! thank you for reading it! <3

-5-

“Good evening, welcome to Lucky’s… I’m Jan, how can I help you?” She smiled brightly.

The flash of Crystal’s phone almost blinded her.

“Aw, look at you. First day of work!” The ginger cooed.

“They grow up so fast.” Jaida pretended she was crying.

Crystal was definitely crying.

“You guys…” Jan whispered. “I work here now… try to keep it cool… please?”

“How dare you? We always keep it cool.” Nicky crossed her arms on her chest.

“Aren’t we banned from that bar in the city?” Heidi asked.

“Technically, that wasn’t our fault…” The blonde mumbled.

Jan counted the people in the group; Widow and Gigi were there too, Widow was telling Gigi something but the girl was a bit too concentrated on certain ginger –she had said yes to their invitation in the blink of an eye when they told her Crystal was going to be there- Rosé and Lagoona would arrive after their rehearsal but still…

“Where’s Jackie?” Jan tiptoed, looking around.

“She had to close the copy room and told us she would meet us here.” Jaida explained.

“Oh… okay.” Jan displayed a new smile. “I’ll take you guys to your section.”

She walked the group to the booths and assigned them two tables next to each other –they were going to need a third table by the time the other girls arrived but for the moment, it would do- she distributed the menus and left them to check her other clients just like Denali had taught her earlier that day.

She had met some of her co-workers -there were other two waitresses working that night, Kandy and Olivia, Olivia was a sweetheart meanwhile Kandy was hilarious- and the day manager, Britta; for what it seemed, the night manager not being there was a recurring thing so Denali walked her carefully through every detail. She explained how the register worked, how to add tables and mark them as occupied or free, she also told Jan about the standards and rules with the diners, what to do, what not to do… and when she thought Jan was ready, she sent her to her first table ever.

“And don’t worry, if something goes wrong you can always say that you’re new and get away with it. I still do it sometimes.” Denali shrugged. “But I’m convinced you’ll do well.”

Jan did perfectly; she served two high school students who stopped by right after school. They ordered milkshakes and Jan was more than excited to prepare their drinks and deliver them while wearing a dazzling smile. They left a good tip for being teenagers so she took that as a good sign.

And obviously, her friends were going to drop by on her first day. She just hoped that Denali wouldn’t scold her in extension so she had asked them to behave… as much as they could.

Rosé and Lagoona walked in next.

“Look at you, baby!” Rosé celebrated her roommate. “Stunning!”

“Let me have a glance.” Lagoona gestured for her to twirl.

“Y’all…” Jan blushed but did as requested showing off her red and white striped uniform.

“I think this is the first time I’ve seen you in a dress or a skirt.” The pink-haired girl noted. “I’m not counting the skorts you wore when we went bowling.”

“You didn’t want me to wear sweatpants to it.”

“Bitch…”

Jan had no proofs or doubts Rosé would have burned the skorts if she had the chance. She knew it was a questionable fashion choice but hey, they surely were comfy.

She also hoped she never told Nicky or Gigi about them.

“Everyone is here already… well, except for Jackie, she’s kind of running late.” Jan guided them toward the booths.

The other girls immediately cheered when the other two girls joined as if they hadn’t had lunch all together the day before.

“I’ll check on you in a minute.” She said before running to the table that was calling for her.

Rosé’s words echoed on the back of her head. She didn’t have anything against skirts or dresses only she had never consider buying one for herself. Other girls looked ethereal with them but Jan still had war flashbacks from that time she attempted to buy a dress for her graduation with her mom… it hadn’t gone well.

Plus, sports clothes always fit her and were practical.

Denali had offered both options –the candy cane striped dress and an alternative set of pants and a white shirt with an apron- but she had opted for the dress for some reason. She wanted to fit into that environment and copying the black-haired girl seemed the first step to it. Trying it on had been a bit weird; she almost didn’t recognize herself in the mirror but the more she looked at herself the more she liked it.

At that moment, Jackie arrived.

She was apologizing even before completely trespassing the door when she lifted her gaze and met Jan’s eyes.

“…and I’m sorry for…” She began losing her ability to speak as she got in a trance.

Seeing Jan always gave Jackie butterflies on her stomach –the good type of butterflies- and she wasn’t going to admit it to her friends not even in a million years because she wasn’t the kind of girl who believed in something as cheesy as butterflies but most importantly, she had promised herself she wasn’t going to fall for that again.

But there she was, with that smile that made all the other smiles in the world irrelevant.

Seeing Jan in a dress made her brain malfunction –not because of the dress itself but because the girl was glowing while wearing it.

Jackie wetted her lips, she had forgotten what she was going to say.

“So… what do you think?” She stretched the dress with her hands. “You can be fully honest.”

No, she couldn’t.

“You look… very happy.” The brunette made a great effort to reply. “You look nice.” This time the words came out a bit more articulated.

Jan smiled, satisfied with that answer. “C’mon, the girls are over here…” She started walking and Jackie followed her. “Don’t you love this place? It looks like it’s been ripped out of the fifties or something.”

For the first time, Jackie actually paid attention to the diner.

“Oh, that’s right… the aesthetic…”

“Hey girls, Jackie’s here!” She announced.

“Miss Cox!” Heidi yelled.

Suddenly the table turned in her direction; they created a fuss, full sentences or loose words were hardly able to comprehend but Jackie was used to it, she spoke the loud language better than anyone. She looked at Jan before sitting with the rest of the group and cracked a secret smile just for her then she rolled her eyes and got entangled in one epic story about the time a cat crashed in the dorms.

Jan cleared her throat and asked very nicely if she could bring them something to drink. She listed soft drinks, mostly cherry coke, regular coke, diet coke, Sprite, and an ice cream soda for Crystal. She walked behind the counter and pressed some buttons to make sure she got it all correct.

It took her a moment to understand the computer’s system for the tables as in the abstract but now that she had some practice with it, she was getting faster at it. She charged table eight and then added a new order of fries for table twelve and finally opened the bill for her friends.

Denali approached her at some point while she was juggling with a couple of trays.

“Hey, how’s it going?” The black-haired girl asked. “Are you okay handling that big group by yourself?” She typed some numbers and printed the receipt without blinking.

“Ah, yeah… Don’t worry, they are all my friends.” It was the first time she had said it aloud and it filled her with pride.

Denali looked at the table; it was a colorful ensemble of people that were having a blast. They were loud and they burst into laughter every couple of minutes. Jan spotted Widow covering her face with second-hand embarrassment while she was laughing underneath, Heidi cackling next to her, Nicky and Jaida holding hands but still participating in the debate, Rosé holding her stomach, Lagoona trying to add something but cracking up as soon as she started a sentence, Gigi with a blank stare trying to discover what she had said that was so funny, Crystal in an attempt to explain it to her –laughing still- and Jackie shaking her head, knowing the situation was irredeemable.

Those were her friends and it filled Jan’s chest with warmness to see them there on her first day of work.

“They came here to support you?”

Jan nodded.

“Aw, that’s so cute!” Denali beamed. “Let me know if I can help you with their order though.”

“I probably will… they already found out there are mozzarella sticks in the menu and when they say «bring mozzarella sticks» they mean all the mozzarella sticks.”

Denali chuckled. “Alright.”

Jan returned to the tables with the drinks and placed them carefully remembering who ordered what. Her friends ordered a ton of food and she had to write it down and register the order on the computer.

They were talking about Rosé and Lagoona’s latest news, they had started preparing the winter musical for a class but one of the girls that were taking part had to step out of the play.

“She said she didn’t want to brag but honestly, Sydney, who the fuck cares if you’re doing Hamilton now?” The blue-haired girl sighed. “Anyway, so we need to recruit someone else this month to play that part.”

“What’s the play about?” Widow asked.

“We’re honoring the one and only Lindsay Lohan and decided to adapt the fictional musical Eliza Rocks from Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen.” Rosé explained.

“So… Pygmalion?” Gigi frowned.

“No, no… well, yeah… It is Pygmalion but with a twist… a remake if you like.”

“So the Glee version of Pygmalion?” Heidi tried to connect the dots.

“There’s nothing new under the sun anyway.” Rosé gave up.

“We still have to, write the music and the script… but that’s the big project of the drama department.”

“We could help you with the costume design,” Nicky suggested. “That could be interesting.”

“I don’t know if-” Gigi whispered.

“I love all the theatrical stuff, can I help you?” Crystal volunteered.

“Alright, yeah… we’re helping with the costumes.” The other blonde corrected herself.

Jan shook her head and left them to discuss other details.

She was tapping the screen of the computer when Jackie sat on one of the stools of the bar.

“Look how the tables have turn… Literally.”

Jan giggled. “Right? The food will be ready in a second… I’m just finishing here.”

The brunette watched her work. “You know, that role on the play Rosé and Lagoona are putting together… you could do it.”

Jan stopped what she was doing and stared at Jackie. “What? Me?” She shook her head. “No, no… I just sing in the shower and when I’m alone… that’s it. I’m not a singer and I’m not an actress.”

“You could be one. Nobody was born knowing but you can learn. I’m sure they’d love to have you on their production.”

“Jackie, I don’t know… It’s really not my thing. Besides, they already have a lot of work to do, I don’t want to delay them even more.”

“It sounds to me that you would be doing them a favor. Just… think about it. This is the perfect time to try new things… maybe.”

“I won’t promise anything.”

“Alright.” Jackie stood up. “By the way, you should bring extra ketchup… talking from experience.”

“Okay, I’ll be there in a heartbeat.”

Jan delivered the food with Denali’s help as she had suggested and then let them enjoy it until it was her time to call it a day, hang her apron and change her dress.

“Great job today. You're a good new addition to our staff.” Denali congratulated her on the back of the restaurant.

“Thank you! I’m glad that you hired me.”

“Don’t even mention it. Now go have fun with your friends.” She winked at her and left Jan to collect her things.

She then saw with her friends and let a big sigh out of her chest.

“The first day is over…”

Her friends congratulated her as well and took turns to compliment her as if it was a Yelp review.

“Let’s make a toast for Jan’s new job!” Jaida raised her glass in the air.

“For Jan!” The table cheered in unison.

“Five out of five stars, excellent service.” Heidi qualified.

“Speaking of…” Rosé whispered just for Jan to listen. “Who is that girl that helped you earlier?”

“Denali? She’s basically my supervisor at this point and she hired me.”

“She’s cute… like… very cute.”

Jan had never seen Rosé blushing until that moment –not even when Heidi had dropped some of her –arguably- best pickup lines during one lunch.

“Oh, so you think she’s cute?”

“Do you know if she’s single?”

“I’ve worked here for a day or so…”

“More than enough time.”

“I can ask her later but she’s like my boss now, you have to promise me you’ll be chill.”

“Baby, have you seen the people around us? I’ll be the chilliest of them all.”

That wasn’t the most reassuring thing to say.

The second week, Jan was more used to her work but her teachers started setting deadlines, and with her baseball practices on top of everything else, she ended up being exhausted by the time her head touched the pillow.

After a long day, the only thing she wanted was to take a long hot shower and put on some pajamas. She walked into the hallway, yawning and carrying her little bathroom basket with shampoo, soap, and a towel.

She had followed Nicky’s advice and always wore flip-flops to the shower. The bathroom was covered in steam most of the time so the girls had to clean the mirrors to brush and dry their hair hoping to see their reflection.

Jan politely greeted two girls from the dorm and got in the shower before closing the curtain. She heard the door as the two girls left and with that, she was left alone. She turned on the shower and let the water cover her entirely to wash off all the stress of the day.

While shampooing, she unconsciously started humming some random song she had heard on the radio earlier in the diner. She closed her eyes and got under the shower when someone moved the curtain.

“I knew it!” Rosé yelled. She had her pink embroidered bathrobe on and her hair was dripping wet.

Jan screamed. “Rosé!” She covered her body with the plastic curtain. “Holy sh… You nearly gave me a heart attack… I thought we had agreed on no Pitch Perfect reenacts.” Her heart was beating faster than ever.

“I didn’t know it was the whole movie, I thought it was just the songs… you know, I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes-” She hummed.

“Rosé…” The shower’s water continued running. “Get out.”

“Okay fine.” The girl closed the curtain. “But I heard you before, you hum when you’re happy.”

“Yes? Like a normal person?” She said on the other side.

“No, no… you’re good. Why didn’t you tell me you were good?”

“Because I’m not a singer… I don’t sing like you or Lagoona.”

“But you could! This is great… I knew you were good.” She repeated.

“Wait a minute, were you waiting for me to come shower?”

“No bitch, I was exfoliating… I wasn’t stalking you.”

“Okay… sure… this definitely crosses some boundaries but okay…”

“Sorry about the curtain thing but hey, here’s a fun idea… you should drop by the auditorium tomorrow. We’re holding auditions this week and I’m just saying… you could be what we need.”

Jan finished showering and stepped out wrapped in her towel.

“Look… I’m flattered that you even consider me good but I’m not… musical theatre material, trust me.”

Rosé stared with supplicant eyes. “I know you can do it… but alright.” She raised her hands in the air in surrender.

She sighed. “Listen, Rosé, I’d love to help you but my plate is full right now… I wouldn’t be able to do it all.”

“Don’t worry… I won’t insist and I won’t bring the subject anymore just… please, consider it overnight. You don’t have to say no right away.”

“Fine… can I brush my hair in peace or is Lagoona going to jump out the sink and start a number about why I should sing?”

“We don’t have that budget but I’m sure she can improvise a song if that’s what it takes.”

“See you in the room and remember that you can’t bring this up again.”

“For someone who’s cheerful all the time you surely are picking traits from Miss Jackie Cox, aren’t you…?”

Jan blushed. “No, I’m not…”

The following day, Jan found herself roaming outside the auditorium for no particular reason.

Well, that was what she kept telling herself.

Because she wasn’t there for the auditions.

No.

Not at all.

She took a deep breath before walking in.

Luckily, most of the auditorium was empty except for the stage where most performers were still doing warm-up exercises and no one noticed the presence of the girl when she entered. Instead of standing still in the middle of the rows, she sat at the back and hid behind another seat hoping no one would spot her from there.

That was a mistake, she wasn’t supposed to be there.

She had told Rosé she would think about it but she chickened out the second she stepped in.

The rehearsal began and some of the members of the club started reading fragments of the play. It was really funny, Jan found herself holding back her laughter at some dialogues and performances. Lagoona played the piano and Rosé sang along with her and some other students joined for the chorus of the song.

It was mesmerizing to watch it from afar and maybe that was all she had to do. She could be supportive this way, without getting too involved.

“Now, what on Earth are you doing here?” The voice made her startled until she noticed it was Jackie who was now hiding next to her.

“Shhhh… keep it quiet. They don’t know I’m here… wait, why are you here?”

Jackie was so close, Jan could smell the green apple notes of her perfume.

“After my shift ended, I went to the administration office to talk with the dean and when I left I saw you walking in.” She explained.

“Ah… well, I’m leaving already so…”

“Please, don’t mind me.” The brunette assured. “So, what really brings you here?”

“Rosé is trying to get all Pitch Perfect and recruit me for this. She heard me sing in the showers.”

“Understandable. I’d call it the troyboltonification of Jan.”

“I’m not… I won’t get troyboltonificated. I’m here just to… take a look… That’s it.”

“Aha, sure.” She didn’t sound convinced. “What is holding you back from this? Obviously, you want it.”

Jan lowered her gaze. “Back in high school… I secretly wanted to participate in the drama club but the rehearsals were at the same time as my baseball practices and well… I always picked baseball over it because that’s what I’m good at it… plus it was an excuse to hang out with Nathan after the practice.”

“I see…” Jackie mumbled.

“Besides, I didn’t think I have what it takes… yes I can hit a couple of notes but that…” She pointed at the stage. “What they do there is art.”

“Listen… you’re not in high school anymore. It might be difficult to juggle the extracurricular activities with your studies and work but… if you want this, you should give it a try.” Jackie said candidly, her eyes reflected the sincerity of her words. “If it’s not for you, at least you can say you tried it.”

“Do you really think I could do it? I mean, being in front of a stage like them?”

“I’m certain about it. Some people might be born with it but I’m sure they had to practice a lot anyway and they probably failed more than once before they could get better. It is easier to say it than doing it but you’re a spitfire, if you put your mind to it you can do anything.”

She smiled even though they were in the darkest place of the auditorium.

“Thank you, Jackie. I don’t know what I did to deserve a friend like you, seriously.”

“Whenever you need it.” She smiled back.

Then, Jan stepped out and walked down toward where the stage was.

“Hi!” She approached shyly the people there, Lagoona stopped playing and Rosé was more than happy to see her. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you guys but I was told you have a vacancy for a role…”

The pink-haired girl jumped out of the stage. “Fellas, this is Jan… she’s my roommate and she has a great voice. I think we could use her talent here.”

They welcomed her warmly, introducing the team.

Jan turned around before going on stage and Jackie gave her a thumbs up.

“Break a leg.” She murmured even when the younger couldn’t hear her from there.

#rpdr fanfiction #jan sport #jackie cox #jankie #college au #lesbian au #slow burn #pretty in pearls #plastiquedoll #concrit welcome

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cindylouwho-2 · 3 years

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