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wakanai · 6 months

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Red Flag Reblog Game (?) but also a rant lol.

in honour of 'cutting off' a friend I didn't like (not really cutting off but more like. being honest about how I feel and both of us mutually deciding to not be as close as before as a result),

let me make a list of my red flags.

Because this is the second time I've cut off a friend like this 😭

Okay here we go...

🚩 Gets drained easily. High need of alone time.

🚩 Seen zones and late replies. Does not like people who can't understand my seen zones and late replies even after I've explained to them this habit before hand.

🚩 Deletes messages. I delete messages and then send a new message when I feel like the OG message could have been better phrased. I delete messages randomly sometimes for other reasons too.

🚩 Does not like clingy people who need to talk to me or be with me 24/7. This friend I 'cut off' (ughh cut off isn't rlly the right word. maybe, 'demoted friendship'? IDK 😭. Yeah lets just call it DS).

This friend I DSed once followed me w the intentions of dropping me to my driver. I told her, "I feel like being alone right now."

She said "No." and continued following me so I ended up talking to her. It was a good convo but I didn't like that she didn't take me seriously.

Next day, she tried to follow me again but I said "No I'm serious" sternly and started walking fast away from her

🚩 Acts light hearted during confrontations. When I confront someone abt something they did that bothers me, I say it in a light tone as to not 'hurt' them too much. This leads to them sometimes not taking me seriously.

🚩 Good at pretending that everything's fine. In 2 of my friendships, I have ignored their grieviances against me until the point it piled up, I had harbored too much hidden dislike against them and the next time I confronted them abt it, it was when I was already cutting them off.

Both friendships were shocked and did not expect that I had harbored things against them

🚩 Sensitive. (not really a red flag but you know, the thing w my friend I just DSed - - she said she just had satirical humour. She told me (not actual words) , 'I told you many times not to take my words at face value. If you haven't learned that, then clearly you aren't learning.'

In truth, I did not find her 'humour' funny and I found the things she said to me while we were still friends extremely discouraging 😭

🚩 Does not say everything that's on my mind at times.

🚩 Not pushy. In some situations - you NEED to be pushy. I am bad at being pushy but every day is progress ig

🚩 Might be socially awkward <<sometimes>>

🚩 can be rough w friends sometimes. <<sometimes>> (never with ill intentions though!! I don't do it to hurt them, it's just my hands are kind of heavy ig 😭)

🚩 Not confident in self.

🚩 Does not talk much about myself.

🚩 procrastinator

🚩 Dense. Dense. Dense. Dense. Do not give me 'hints' about how you feel. I might not interpret them properly.

🚩 People get attached to me because I listen to them. In fact, I LIKE listening to them. If they're my friend, I comfort them and am there for them.

It's when they start hurting me that I start hating them.

As mentioned above, I have a tendency to tolerate A LOT before deciding I don't like them as my friend.

Since I tolerate a lot, and act normal,

They usually get caught off guard when I tell them my feelings.

By the time I explain that I dislike them and/or want to 'take a break' or 'cut them off' they get shocked and sad

because they've been sharing intimate things to me and now they're about to lose me.

A lot of times I'm the 'listener' friend or 'the therapist' friend.

If I had to put it in words, sometimes I'm a machine that absorbs the rants and troubles of other people and gives them comfort. I use the word 'machine' because to SOME people (some not all) - I feel like a tool that they use when they need to express their emotions. Just a tool. Nothing more. They don't treat me well.

When I dislike the person, that machine runs out of battery and suddenly dies. But while it's still alive, this machine may not give a sign that it's running out of battery.

So the person continues hurting it and using it. And it suddenly dies on the person.

So the person is left feeling sad, confused, angry, and maybe regretful..but they probably understand. because the machine gives them an explanation.

If they don't understand, not my problem 😭

Yeah I think that's all my red flags. IDK.

Another thing

I guess it would be interesting and fun to see other people reblog this with their own red flags. So if u want to, feel free. feel free to rant ur experiences as well ig.

#random #I prob have more red flags but if i realize them ig ill just edit this post #But regarding those two friendships #I actually don't regret them #I feel glad im free of them #I deserve better 🤭🤭#First friendship was definitely toxic. NO NO NOOO INTENTIONS of going back to that person #Second friendship was more sad #Cause she explained that i just didnt get her humor #and she was a green flag plenty of times #but ehhhhhh #as i think abt it i actually dont regret losing her either #as sad as it is i didnt feel comfortable around her and she discouraged me lots of times. We also didnt click a lot.#if she takes time to reflect on the things i told her she'll understand why i dont like her #friendship #reblog game kinda (only if ppl reblog this)#red flags in friendship #If uve noticed a red flag in me that wasn't mentioned - feel free to send me an ask ig #can't guarantee that ill answer it haha but yeah

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lavender-lotion · 3 years

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Fanfic Writer Asks

I was tagged by @asarcasticwitch - thank you so much!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

737, which is an ugly number :(

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,890,054 words, which ... AH I might actually get to 2mil by the end of the year!

3) How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

thank you, ao3 dashboard for this handy list:

Teen Wolf (TV) (377)

X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies) (187)

Marvel Cinematic Universe (93)

Glee (29)

Young Justice (Cartoon) (11)

Kingsman (Movies) (9)

Original Work (9)

The Avengers (Marvel Movies) (8)

Criminal Minds (US TV) (7)

Thor (Movies) (6)

Deadpool (Movieverse) (5)

Weird City (TV) (5)

X-Men (Original Timeline Movies) (4)

Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga) (4)

Ragnarok (TV 2020) (4)

Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies) (3)

Teen Wolf (TV) RPF (3)

Iron Man (Movies) (3)

The House in the Cerulean Sea - T. J. Klune (2)

Venom (Marvel Movies) (1)

Stranger Things (TV 2016) (1)

Captain America (Movies) (1)

Fate: The Winx Saga (TV) (1)

Power Rangers Ninja Storm (1)

X-Men - All Media Types (1)

Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan (1)

Riverdale (TV 2017) (1)

X-Men Evolution (1)

Push (2009) (1)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

With You, I Belong

Mates and Marriage Proposals

The Perceptions of You and I

(baby) maybe that matters more

Breathing You In

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

ughh so, fair warning, I have a lot of works. I definitely do not remember all of them, however I do have four works tagged as Unhappy Ending and then another nine works tagged Ambiguous/Open Ending, which is way more than I’d thought I had!

however, there is one fic that stands out in mind when I think about which of my works has the angstiest ending! Heed the tags :)

And Now?

Stiles Stilinski finds out who his soul mates are by setting one on fire.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

ughhhhhhhh I truly do not know???

7) Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I don’t write many crossovers at all! I have some mcu/teen wolf cross overs, I have a teen wolf/glee cross over plotted (that i’ll probably never write), but my strangest is probably this teen wolf/x-men cross over!

what-ifs (don’t fuckin’ matter to no one)

Teen And Up Audiences | No Archive Warnings Apply | M/M | X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)Teen Wolf (TV) | Logan (X-Men)/Sheriff Stilinski | Logan (X-Men), Sheriff Stilinski, Stiles Stilinski | Memory Loss, Telepathy, Mentions of War, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Child Neglect, Grief/Mourning, Telepath Stiles Stilinski, Telekinetic Stiles Stilinski, Nightmares, Cuddling & Snuggling

There’s somethin’ there. Somethin’ that has him sleeping curled up on his side with a pillow tucked to his chest, somethin’ that has him splittin’ up his food ‘fore he eats ‘cause he don’t need as much as a baseline. Has him turnin’ to tell someone shit that ain’t there. There’s just...there’s just somethin’ there that’s missin’ and it shouldn’t be missin’.

8) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

sometimes! I don’t write a lot of smut because I actively dislike writing it, but the smut I do write is super super soft and sappy and full of emotions lol

9) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I respond to almost all of my comments! comments i won’t respond to: negative comments, unsolicited criticism, comments that aren’t relevant to the fic itself, comments simply asking for more

I love love love responding to comments! I love every single comment that I get and I want to show how much I appreciate getting them, and personally I think responding to comments is the only way to do that! everyone has different comment philosophies, but for me, if someone is taking the time to comment on my fic like I so badly want them to, I think it’s important to respond to show my appreciation!

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

aha YEAH I DO. this past weekend I actually got a number of shitty comments and had to file two ao3 abuse reports for harrasment (: I love it

I am no stranger to hate comments. I write copious amounts of age difference fic. I write copious amounts of incest. I am not going to apologize nor am I going to feel bad for enjoying either.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

ughhh I sure as heck hope not!

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I have a number of them :) I always always do my best to make sure it’s linked to the original fic, AND that I add a tag noting that there’s a translation!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have made a few attempts! the only successful attempt is there's nothing i wouldn't do to make you feel my love which is a collaboration with @flightinflame, not quite a co-write!

14) What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I am unable to answer this lol I don’t have an all-time favourite. mutli-shipping forever.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

god okay this is such a good question! imma ramble about a few so bear with me here! (i may have 700 posted works but I also have a few hundreds wips & ideas floating around in my gdrive, too)

gone & past - this is a starrish wip i’d started in 2017. I ended up deleting it from ao3 to rewrite it and never got there, but I have about 20k of content! I built my home, inside of you - thorki human au with college jock thor and high school dancer loki. i’ve got a start and nothing else Sheriff Stilinski Gets Some Sweet Sweet Lovin’ - massive wip where... well, the sheriff fucks his way through the entire pack. I want to write it but. trans allison au - this is an au where allison is trans and that changes the entire season 1 canon. it features stallison, petopher, and a looooooong ass outline that will never exist beyond my wips You Fill My Heart (With Such a Gentle Love) - this is a stetopher a/b/o au with pregnant omega stiles and alpha pair petopher falling in love. it started as a labour of love to someone I no longer have in my life. I have about 30k, a full outline, but idk. makes me sad to think about it they slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered - this is my big x-men first class rewrite that I honestly don’t think i’ll ever finish. I have a few thousand words, a full outline, but no love lost for cherik so. doubtful Physiotherapy (I'll Be Your Baby) - this was a fic I was SO excited about, and then it kinda flopped and stayed a wip because I didn’t have a plan or the motivation to finish it. it’s a winterspider human au with amputee bucky and science twink peter that I adore the premise of but who knows breathing you in chapter 2 - I have a massive second chapter planned for this fic but the first did so good so fast I am way too intimidated to write more in case everyone hates it lmao

there are more arjgoirjeg there are so many more but these are the bigger ones I can think of right now!

16) What are your writing strengths?

ughhhhh I hate answering this because I have, like, seriously bad imposter syndrome around my writing BUT I do think i’m able to weave poignant backstory into narration & i write strong, distinctive narrative voices!

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

literally I can’t write settings at all. I don’t know how people vividly describe settings but I absolutely cannot do that and it’s one of the reasons I haven’t delved into original fiction. I need to write the town my characters live in?? fuck that imma just use a location we’ve seen on screen & let readers fill in the blanks lmao

I am also shit at long fic. I don’t have the mind for long and interesting plots, and I don’t have the focus to write long fic (which is why every long fic i’ve ever posted has taken me literal years to complete smh).

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I like it! both as a reader and as a writer. as a writer, I generally only use a few words, or small sentences that can be understood by context, and I generally don’t

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

the last thing I wrote and posted was this one:

Languish

It was a really, really hot Saturday, and most of the school was outback, enjoying the sun, not caring about the heat, and having the time of their life.

Everyone but Bobby, of course, who was melting away.

“I just want to remind everyone that I make ice. I am the Ice Man. I am not built for the heat and soon enough I’m going to melt away into nothing.”

20) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

this is another impossible question! I have a few I really enjoy, but I really don’t think I have a favourite that stands out above the rest!

i’m tagging: @4magicandmayhem @insertmeaningfulusername @midrashic @wynnefic @ikeracity @stronglyobsessed @elledelajoie @wolfnprey & anyone else who sees it and wants to do it! seriously! go ahead :)

blank questions below the read more!