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#uchinaga aeri
7hyein · 1 day
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   ✄  ˚  ✾  join my svr!  ⁺  ⌑
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   (˶ᴗ͈˳ᴗ͈)⌒)  ˚  ↷  🥕.  ♡  ⊹
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facefullofsadness · 2 months
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hybrid!aespa in heat
subby!aespa x dom!reader
smut, 1k wc
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I'm going crazy, I haven't been able to stop thinking ab this since my SEVEN THIRTY AM CLASS, but I cannot stop thinking about hybrid!aespa in heat for the first time??
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like maknae line are very bby girl in ur relationship, you treating them like a princess in and out of bed, and them just sitting still looking pretty for you! yizhuo seems more of a switch in my head than minjeong does as a hybrid, but when they're in heat, they both become the subbiest babies ever!
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minjeong would be RED, cheeks completely flushed and skin hot to the touch. her eyes darting everywhere and hands as fists clutching her clothes, her sheer clothing suddenly feeling too hot. you'd crawl over her squirming body on the bed and she'd whine so hard. "idk what's happening to me y/n-ie. b-but, fuck, please help me," she'd say during her first heat. her hands would reach out blindly for any part of you to clutch onto and pull you into her, her shoving her heated face into your neck. you kinda worried about her, not knowing what was going on, but after she whimpered against your neck by your hot breath whispering into her ear, it clicked. extremely sensitive and respondent to every single brush of your skin against hers, having the most reactive effects on her body. trembling, jolting, shivering, whimpering. the way she would be so loud and whiney when you finally give her what she wants, rutting her hips against your mouth or fingers, could be both! or your own hips too. "so hot, so hot!" she whines desperately, shoving her hips against you as she falls apart.
yizhuo wouldn't be so naive as to what was happening. as soon as she felt her stomach twist and that feeling consuming her entire body with every passing second, her heart started to pound and muscles would tense. immediately dragging herself shakily to look for you and burying her body into yours, sitting in your lap and purring softly in your ear on your skin. suddenly becomes a lot more clingy and whiney, not really feeling any shame or embarrassment unlike the latter. so it's not surprising when she grinds her clothed cunt against your lap, long and deep rolling of her hips against you, just to feel anything. "y/n-ie, I-I think it's happening... you smell fuck- you smell so g-good... you feel so good... I need more, this isn't enough, please give me more..." taking her right then and there on the couch and having her head thrown back as you fuck her with the utmost stamina you can give, her always begging you to give her more. would go so many rounds with you because she can't stop how the knot in her stomach would never fully be relieved, rutting against you even as you try to ease her orgasm, overstimulating herself but immediately ready to go again.
as for the unnie line, it's like night and fucking day. they're definitely wearing the pants in your relationship, having you close to them when you're out in public, pulling you into them with their hand on your hip or wrapping their arm around your shoulders. jimin is a gentle and firm lover while aeri is confident and loves to show you off (under her supervision ofc). but when they're in heat, oh my god the thought makes me dizzy. complete 180.
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jimin's eyes would darken as lust and sexual desire consume her. her stare would trail your relaxed body, laying back on the bed. her core started to throb and her hands formed fists against the blankets. crawling up to you, a pained and needy expression spreading across her face. you would look up at her in confusion, your usually quiet and reserved gf looking intense, her eyes drilling holes through your body which made you feel conscious suddenly. "y/n..." she said your name so low and croaky, her voice triggering something in your brain. at this point you understood what she wanted, but you hadn't expected how badly she needed it. "I need you so badly. I need you to fuck me..." taken aback by the sudden advance had your head spinning, but seeing your girlfriend soooo needy, cheeks flushed pink and hot breath hitting your skin, her chest rising up and down with each pant she released, you had to listen to her! you pleasuring her while she's on top of you, grinding her hips down into you and releasing whiney moans with each roll of her body. mumbling incoherently how good it feels and how much of a good girl you are for listening so well to her, her fingers patting your head as her orgasm builds to the wet sounds coming from her aching core.
aeri hated being a hybrid at times because she knew going into heat would make her subby! born to be a dommy mommy, forced to be a baby girl! she absolutely rocks your world whenever you guys fuck, but when she finally experiences it, it's almost comical how different she suddenly is. pushing you up against the door having just come home from dinner, greedily feeling your body with her big hands and lips bruising against her's. when your thumb traced her nipple, she'd moan embarrassingly loud into your mouth, shocking both of you. you pull back to look at her and her eyes are squinted shut, leaning her body into your touch more when you try to take your hand away. "fuck y/n, don't you dare pull away, give me your all right now. I need you sososo bad, it hurts so fucking much..." she'd moan and whine like a sub while demanding you to fuck her like the natural dom she is. sitting in her lap with your lips around her neck, your tongue dragging across the length of her throat as she pulls you by the waist further into her, trying to maximize the amount of sheer pleasure you were giving. releasing deep guttural groans with every roll of her hips, the occasional high pitched loud moan escaping, her fingernails digging into your skin.
and I didn't really mention it but my headcanons for hybrid!aespa are kitten or wolf!rina, puppy!aeri, bunny!winter, and kitten!ning. BUT TO EACH THEIR OWN! (I wish they OWNED me- what who said that?)
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tvxqdbsk · 6 months
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AESPA : DRAMA
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thankyou-taeyeon · 2 months
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GISELLE (240229 🛫)
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goldennikko · 7 months
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I'M SORRY PT. 2 — yu jimin
summary : having a hectic schedule has consequences.
pairing : karina x reader ; giselle x reader
tags : f!reader ; swearing ; read to find out (😗)
requested: ✔
word count : 3.2k
parts : 【 pt. 1 】 【 pt. 2 】
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it had been so long since that horrible meal with your girlfriend's idol friends, which you were certain you didn't want to go through again, and jimin was doing her best to make it up to you despite the scheduling issue between her and yours that seemed to refuse to match.
"i'm so sorry, my love. i can't make it today." jimin apologized quietly over the phone, attempting to fight back tears because she truly wanted to join you for the dinner she had arranged but couldn't because of the company.
"it's fine, baby. i understand. just calm down for me, okay?" you said softly, aware of your girlfriend's anxiety skyrocketing right now.
jimin sniffled silently, covering her face to conceal herself from those around her. "i love you, baby."
"and i love you." you replied sweetly, producing a silly kissing sound from your end to cheer her up.
jimin giggled as she hurried to wipe her tears, but she couldn't since more tears flowed due to her understanding girlfriend. "god. i really love you. i miss you, my y/n."
"i miss you, too, my rina."
there were also times when your schedule clashed with that of your normally busy partner.
"jimin, my boss is making everyone work overtime." you stressed, trying to focus on your task in front of you while talking on the phone with jimin. "i'll be late, i'm so sorry."
"breathe in and out, y/n-ah." jimin said softly, and you quickly obeyed her gentle command. "it's fine, baby. you'll be home, right?"
you huffed, looking up at your boss, who glared at you. "yes, love, i'll be there in an hour or so."
"then, my love, i'll be waiting for you with open arms."
when you and jimin finally met, she would always treat you as if it were her last day with you, while you tried to return the gesture, but jimin refused to make you do anything.
"stop that." jimin whined as she wrapped one arm around your waist from behind, the other reaching around to snatch the ladle from your grasp. "i told you to sit still and be pretty, baby!"
"but i want to help!" you argued, resting your back against her shoulder, causing jimin's arm to tighten around you to hold you closer while cooking.
jimin sighed. "no, y/n. didn't i say i'd make it up to you?"
"but—"
jimin leaned down for a quick second to press a firm kiss on your lips, and your eyes fluttered shut as your lips moved automatically against hers. jimin softly moaned as her fingers slid beneath your shirt and touched your skin. 
however, because jimin didn't want to end up burning down the apartment, the kiss had to be quick, but she tried to make the most of it, knowing that she wouldn't be able to see you properly for the next couple of days due to her idol life.
"i love you." jimin mumbled softly as she giggled and kissed your red ear.
you turned around in her embrace, your red face buried in her neck.  "i love you, too."
that was how the next few weeks were spent, both with and without jimin—broken apologies, quick explanations, soft reassurances, and very rare date nights, whether inside or outside the comfort of your apartment. jimin continued to spoil you and make it up to you whenever she could, but gave in after you convinced her to calm down, which you did because your heart felt like it was about to burst.
naturally, jimin was not the only person in your life. you also had yizhuo and minjeong. last but not least, your best friend, aeri.
you decided to visit the girls during their practice at the company, and minjeong gladly assisted you in getting through to surprise their stressed leader, while it was yizhuo who called you to inform you of jimin's state. jimin didn't notice you at first because she was busy talking to the choreographer, but when she did, she lit up like a christmas tree and sprinted towards you.
"baby?" jimin said softly as she wrapped her arms around your waist and buried her face in your neck.
"surprise?" you mumbled in her ear, tangling your fingers in her hair to brush through the strands as you returned the hug.
jimin chuckled tearfully. "surprise indeed."
"you'd better thank me, unnie!" yizhuo spoke up, crossing her arms.
"and me." minjeong added.
jimin rolled her eyes before pulling away from you to glare at her members, but she kept her grip on your hand. you looked around the dance studio for your best friend and paused when you saw her walk in.
"aeri!" you said, pulling away from jimin to run towards your best friend, wrapping her in an embrace.
aeri tensed up beneath your touch, but you ignored it as you clung to your best friend. jimin returned her gaze to you and her japanese companion, watching as aeri, albeit hesitantly, wrapped her arms around you.
"y/n, hey." aeri murmured as her heart thrashed wildly in her chest, which she tried hard to hide from her leader's probing gaze. regardless, aeri couldn't help but sway you to the nonexistent music while caressing your sides.
as jimin kept a wary eye on aeri, you drew away from the japanese to smile up at her, causing aeri to smile back, but it was small and weak. worried, you opened your mouth to ask her, but the choreographer cut you off by clapping her hands and indicating that it was time to resume practice.
with that, aeri separated from you, avoiding your soft look and your partner's heated gaze. your heart dropped ever so slightly, worried about your best friend. jimin caught your gaze and smiled, which you returned, but you returned your gaze to aeri when your girlfriend looked away, worriedly frowning as you took a seat on the floor.
you sat quietly in the back the entire time, watching the girls and cheering them on whenever one of them struggled a little. you tried to keep your gaze fixed on jimin, who smiled at you through the mirror. you were captivated, as always, by the way jimin danced so effortlessly, looking as stunning as ever despite the sweat. 
your eyes, however, was always drawn to aeri. 
but only because you were worried. you couldn't get the quick and brief interaction you had with her earlier out of your head, growing concerned as she seemed to ignore your presence. aeri didn't bother looking in the mirror to meet your gaze, nor did she turn around to look at you. despite being so close, your best friend seemed to distance herself from you even during short breaks.
"are you okay, baby?" a voice from next to you jolted you out of your trance, and turned to see jimin glancing back and forth at you and aeri, whom you had been staring at. "is there something wrong?"
you shook your head quickly as your heart rate increased due to being caught by none other than jimin herself, but you tried to convince yourself that it was her voice that caused your heart to thrash. 
"no, no, nothing is wrong, love." you reassured, weakly smiling.
but you weren't sure whether you were reassuring jimin or yourself.
jimin locked her gaze on you for a brief moment. she could read you like a book, even if it didn't have anything written on it, because she had known you for a long time. she could see your hesitation and uncertainty right now, which you weren't even aware of. 
but, for your sake and, unknowingly, for hers, jimin nodded, leaning in to plant a soft kiss on your lips. you paused for a beat before cupping her cheeks and kissing her back.
aeri glanced at you just in time, but she wished she hadn't. her heart fell to her stomach for the nth time, and she forced herself to look away, willing her heart to stop yearning for your heart, which was already held by someone else.
as the dance practice came to an end, you excused yourself to the restroom for a brief moment, and jimin agreed to wait for you outside. you came to a halt when you saw your best friend bending over the sink, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"aeri?" you called out to her, your heart breaking as you saw your clearly broken best friend.
stunned, aeri tried to wipe her tear-stained cheeks, but she couldn't because the tears kept falling. aeri wasn't sure whether to reassure you or push you away, her exhausted mind scrambling for an excuse. she paused when you forced her to face you, soft hands cupping her reddened cheeks—the same hands that cupped jimin's face earlier, but aeri could only think that they were now holding her cheeks.
"what's wrong?" you asked softly, unknowingly soothing aeri with your mere voice—the same voice that calls jimin loving nicknames, but aeri could only remember that it was she who fell in love with it first.
aeri shook her head, resting her brow against your shoulder to keep her face hidden from you. "nothing, y/n. i'm just stressed."
"about the dance?" you inquired, not wanting to push her but still concerned. "you were amazing, though."
"you think so?" aeri asked, feeling vulnerable and weak against you as she wrapped one arm around her waist and held onto the sink for support, knowing that even if she held onto you, her knees would buckle the longer you held her so lovingly.
"i know so." you replied, giggling softly and pressing your lips against her hair—the same lips that jimin had touched with her own, but aeri could only wish that she was the one you were kissing instead.
"thank you, y/n-ah." aeri said as she drew away.
you smiled. "of course, gi."
there was silence between the two of you, and you found yourself staring at your best friend with soft eyes because you didn't know what to say next. 
but why was your heart racing so loudly right now? 
you hid it on the outside, but you were panicking on the inside as you felt aeri's touch on your waist tingle your skin. it had to be because aeri had been ignoring my presence the entire time, and now that i think about it, aeri had been ignoring me since that dinner with their idol friends, you thought to yourself, brows furrowing in confusion.
meanwhile, aeri admired your worried but pretty face, her heart jumping excitedly to her throat.
she gulped nervously and opened her mouth to speak, unable to keep quiet any longer. "you look—"
but aeri couldn't finish her thought because another voice interrupted her. "y/n, my love?"
aeri looked up as you turned around, both of you watching as jimin entered with a worried expression on her face. jimin smiled at you, but paused as she cast a wary glance at aeri, who returned her timid smile.
"ah, baby. sorry!" you apologized, reaching out to take jimin's hand in yours.
"is everything all right?" jimin inquired before looking up at aeri and noticing her red eyes. jimin's leader instincts kicked in as her eyes softened. "gigi? your eyes are red."
aeri waved her hand dismissively and turned away, her heart heavy not only with jealousy for jimin, but also with guilt as a result of jimin's genuine concern. "i'm fine, unnie."
"you should get going before you're late for your date." aeri added, smiling weakly.
jimin frowned, but nodded, despite her desire for more definitive answers. you smiled reassuringly at aeri, who returned it in kind, her heart pounding loudly in her ear. aeri watched as jimin led you out of the restroom and she nearly collapsed if it weren't for her grip on the sink, her hand flying to cover her mouth as a sob wrack through her throat.
"—so gorgeous."
soon after, you and jimin became overly busy, with neither of you having much time to spend with the other. 
as your phone rang for the fourth time tonight, you answered it blindly while moving around with your coworkers. despite how tired you were, you both tried to apologize and explain, and you were both understanding, but jimin couldn't deny the underlying exhaustion of another kind, which you tried to ignore, but, whether you liked it or not, this kind of setup was seriously draining you too much.
it didn't help that you were also dealing with another set of emotions.
most of the time, you'd come home to an empty apartment, but you'd grown accustomed to it, so the rare occasions when jimin was able to come home to you would surprise you as if it were a stranger in your home rather than your girlfriend.
"hello?" you mumbled, pausing when you heard the familiar but weak giggle on the other end of the line. "rina? shit."
"hello to you, too, baby." jimin said softly as she looked around the empty living room of their dorm. "are you alright there?"
you sighed, exhausted. "sorry, baby. i'm working overtime. are you home?"
"no, i'm at the dorms." jimin replied softly as she leaned back against the plush pillows of the couch, nibbling on her bottom lip as the desire to see you overcame her.
you nodded despite the fact that you knew she couldn't see you. "shouldn't you be resting, then?"
"i needed to hear your voice first." jimin mumbled softly, pouting.
you chuckled quietly. "how was your day?"
"very tiring!" jimin complained as she hugged the plush pillow, pretending to be you. "i hate my job sometimes."
"i do, too." you grumbled, sandwiching the phone between your ear and shoulder and setting the papers down on your desk. "you and the girls don't get any rest at all."
jimin let out a weak laugh. "well, tomorrow is a rest day; are you available?"
you frowned and bit your lower lip in shame. "i'm afraid i'm not baby..."
jimin sighed and nodded slowly, her sad eyes fixed on the pillow. "i hate your stupid boss."
you burst out laughing. "speaking of, i see him."
"call me when you get home?" jimin asked, her heart pounding. she didn't want to let you go, but she also didn't want you fired.
"i promise, i love you." you mumbled weakly, your heart hurting at the sound of your soft girlfriend's weak voice.
"i love you, too."
jimin sighed as the phone call ended. her mind raced with so many ideas, but it all came down to the fact that she despised both of your hectic schedules, particularly hers. jimin stared blankly at the ceiling, but her vision was distorted by the tears that refused to leave her eyes.
"you look stupid, unnie." 
jimin jumped in surprise and turned around, tears streaming down her cheeks, when she heard the voice.
"ah, giselle." jimin mumbled, rushing to catch her tears and compose herself, but failing miserably. "why are you awake?"
aeri frowned worriedly before sitting next to Jimin, ready to console her because, even though she was her crush's girlfriend, jimin was and always will be her sister, leader, and friend.
"what happened?" aeri asked quietly.
"nothing is happening. i hate it." jimin replied, huffing angrily, and she went on to explain when aeri just stared at her in confusion. "y/n and i haven't been able to see each other in a few weeks because of my idol career, which is frustrating."
"y/n has her own job as well, and her boss is making everyone work overtime." jimin added.
aeri sighed sympathetically, finding it difficult to discuss jimin's romantic involvement with you, but she continued to comfort and support her leader. jimin continued to rant about the situation, oblivious to aeri's internal conflict, before finally breaking down in the arms of the japanese girl.
aeri sighed and patted jimin on the back. "i'm sure there will be time for you two to meet up soon, unnie."
jimin sobbed quietly, "i want my girlfriend."
i want your girlfriend, too, aeri thought to herself, but soon felt guilty for her audacity. not wanting to betray both sides, aeri silently wallowed in her own longing, but continued to console her sad leader.
as promised, you called jimin as soon as you got home and engaged in a sweet and soft conversation with her while getting ready for bed, exchanging declarations of love and words of reassurance, but the call ended due to jimin falling asleep. you were ranting about something you couldn't remember then your girlfriend was snoring softly, which you found so adorable that you couldn't bring yourself to wake her up or get angry with her.
so you stayed with her on the phone for a few more minutes before hanging up and going to bed.
you were unsure of what to expect the following day. sure, you were aware of the upcoming busy day due to some projects that your boss had assigned to everyone, to the point where you were unable to check your phone, which kept vibrating due to notifications from family and friends. 
when you finally got a chance to check your phone in the restroom, you were astounded by the number of messages and missed calls.
"what the hell is going on?" you wondered as you scrolled through it.
here are a few notifications on your lockscreen, ranging from worried to enraged:
have you seen it?
girl, answer the phone.
y/n, where are you?
are you still working? 
the fuck do they mean?
please answer!
check your phone!
16 missed calls from mom.
you didn't get to continue scrolling because you frowned at the last two notifications before scrambling to open your social media account, heart racing wildly in your chest, but the photo that greeted you made you pause, wondering whether you should be thankful or regretful.
nonetheless, what you saw caused your heart to shatter. dispatch they had taken a photo of your girlfriend with jeno, stating nonsense in their article headlines.
aespa karina and nct dream jeno rumored to be dating!
"i'd date karina," you remembered jeno saying when chenle made a joke about who yizhuo would date and was overheard by everyone.
you leaned against the sink and covered your mouth as a sob got stuck in your throat, hoping not to alert any of your coworkers. while you examined the photograph, your heart pounded painfully against your ribcage. despite the masks, you could see jeno smile down at jimin while she was laughing happily with her head thrown back—the same way she laughed whenever she was with you.
your vision blurred as tears filled your eyes, making it difficult to see your phone screen clearly, but you did notice your girlfriend's name at the top of the messaging app, 46 unread messages from jimin, before it was quickly replaced by another name, which had just come in.
i'm on my way, y/n. stay put.
you collapsed as your knees weakened and unbuckled, clutching your phone to your chest in a futile attempt to stop your heart from beating so fast while you tried to catch your breath.
not only was your heart hurting, but it was also skipping a beat.
you curled up against yourself, tears streaming down your cheeks nonstop, trying to tune out the loud ringing in your ears that your mind mistook for jeno's taunting laugh while you waited for someone, brokenly whispering her name into the air.
"aeri..."
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nikko note: i'm late, but since you asked, i'll deliver. also, sorry to disappoint, but this is not a comeback. i just stopped by because why not? if you've read this, goddamn, you still remember me? huhu. i feel like my skills are rusty now due to not being able to write since i said good bye to y'all, so i'm really sorry if this is a shit quality fic. but thank you for making it till the end, you guys! part 3 will be released in 2026 (🤭). just kidding. who knows? anyway, see y'all around!
parts : 【 pt. 1 】 【 pt. 2 】
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blanceverlast · 5 months
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this part... mm-hmm
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ddoxhan · 2 months
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my love is all mine
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my baby here on earth showed me what my heart was worth so, when it comes to be my turn could you shine it down here for her?
word count : 4.4k words
genre : fantasy; alternating between fluff and angst that would make your heart clench; childhood best friend! aeri x pianist (but actually a time traveler)! reader; arriving at this dimension, you realized how much you still love her
t/w : mentions of death, apocalypse thingz
a/n : full version out weeeeee :D that was some roller coaster of realization and pain knowing that nothing lasts but one thing :') please do leave some feedback so I can improve when it comes to plot heavy fics and enjoy !
tic, tic, tic, tic.
'where am I?'
your surroundings were unfamiliar, as it should be. but with it, came a sense of comfort. whenever you warped through the portal, your head would hurt like the worst hangover for a while. but this time, it unusually hurt less. you were sitting by the piano, a music sheet of chopin, perhaps. you weren't the most well-versed around music.
you stood from the piano stool to slowly observe the things in the room in hopes of gathering more information about this person. undoubtedly, you looked like yourself but this body you possessed wasn't you. you were orphaned, barely survived the apocalypse of your own world, thrown into a dystopian organization served to stop further apocalypses in other worlds.
learning about the countless dimensions you had to travel to, surely, this one couldn't differ more than the rest. the person who lived as you in this world had everything you had ever wanted. loving and supportive parents, friends who were always there for her, a promising future career as an aspiring pianist. but as you gain the memories of this person, the depressing emotions were rather contradicting.
this person felt lonely amidst of everyone, she never felt understood. no one had ever saw through those smiles and laughs. not even this girl who looked like her best friend. then tears started to flow down your cheeks uncontrollably. it couldn't be. she couldn't be.
feeling a little dizzy, you took a seat on the piano stool as you dried your tears and tried to wrap your head around the current situation. of the many dimensions, why this one? you tried so hard to forget everything about her, drown down emotions that were unnecessary for your line of work. it had been forever since the last time you had thought of her. and this time, she wasn't going to just be a memory.
as the metronome lulled you into a daze, you were brought back out of it by the sudden swing open of the bedroom door.
"hey! we literally said to meet up at our usual place! what's taking you so long?"
"huh?"
a girl barged into your room and folded her arms against her chest, seemingly upset that you had stood her up. but you couldn't seem to remember when you had made that promise to her.
it was her. it had been so long, too long since you've seen her with your own eyes. you didn't know if it was a blessing or a curse that you had never encountered her in the past dimensions. but seeing her in front of you, it was getting really hard to not break down in tears.
the wave of guilt and sadness washed over you as you took in how beautiful she still looked, or rather this version of her looked exactly like the love of your life. the love of your life who you couldn't hold onto as her hand slipped from yours, forever gone as she disappeared into the smoke of debris.
you still needed time to gain the memories, so you made up an excuse, hoping she would buy it.
"sorry, it must've slipped my mind. you still up for it?"
you stood from your piano stool as you flashed her an apologetic smile. that made her sigh and roll her eyes, once again defeated by your puss-in-boots eyes cause really, there was never once she had been able to not waiver at the sight of them.
"you bet I am, now get your ass outta here and we have to hurry cause we're already late for the performances."
the look of confusion on your face makes the girl pause in her tracks, extremely confused and cautious of you because you didn't seem to be her best friend, in the sense that you didn't feel like her.
"performances. weren't you there when jaemin told us they'd be busking today?"
"right, yes. the boys' first big performance for that influencer's event."
that part of the memory registered just at the right timing. if you took any longer to respond like her best friend, she would have probably took the shovel in the backyard to whack you. the girl wasn't like your lover, way feistier and carefree. it served as a reminder that she wasn't, this girl was not the woman you had loved wholeheartedly and should not be.
"yes. now let's go."
the girl had to drag you out of your house because of how slow you seemed unusually.
"god, I was so close to knocking some sense into you."
"sorry, I've just been really out of it today."
your infamous cheeky smile never fails to have her shake her head in disbelief. in disbelief of how adorable you always looked with it.
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"jaemin! we're here!"
aeri screams across the barricade as the said boy turned his head towards her direction, while you trudged behind her, ensuring that she wasn't falling over anything or anyone from excitement.
you learned her name when you two left your room as your dad shouted her name from downstairs. aeri, it was a pretty name and suited her really well. you couldn't help but draw similarities between the woman you knew and her. but they were also two very different people and that was something you shouldn’t forget.
"hey! I thought you two wouldn't make it before our cue. what happened?"
he had known you two for ages and it was unlikely of you to be late to something, especially when it involved close friends.
"this girl here had forgotten about this. unbelievable if you ask me."
"that's quite true. you good?"
aeri and jaemin truly cared for the person you are temporarily posing as. the gazes that you were receiving felt foreign, accountable to your lack of interaction with people. people who actually mattered to you. each and every time you had warped to another dimension, you would disappear to do what you must to prevent apocalypses regardless of what memories flowed through your consciousness.
it doesn’t take long to get everything in place and run the plans to break the sequence of events, given that you were one of the organization’s elite agents with a flawless portfolio. all that didn’t matter to you, life was already meaningless so why care much?
but the moment you had seen that very smile on her face in that photo frame, you wanted to stay in this dimension longer. even if it meant spending more time than you should in a single dimension.
"yeah, don't worry about me. I just had a splitting headache earlier today and I've just been out of it. I'm all good now though."
you regained your composure after some time and adjusted well with your new surroundings. the reaffirming clutch of your hand in aeri's was very comforting surprisingly, but you didn't understand why.
although she had bore similar physical traits with your lover, there was no reason to feel the warmth seeping through the clasp of your hands. and before your consciousness could give you an answer, your blood ran cold as the image of watching her slip through your fingers into nothing, bringing up the very emotions you were trying to suppress for years.
there was not a single day that you could sleep well as the endless nightmare of that event left you in a void of emptiness and desperation. the desperation of wanting to redeem yourself by saving other dimensions where different versions of her would live, regardless of whether different versions of you were there for her.
but absolutely none of that, would bring your lover back into your arms, safe and sound. smiling at you like those mundane days you had, which you would give anything to get them back.
"great. you two find your seats near the fronts, performers' privilege."
he proudly points towards two empty seats which were inevitably yours since the show had already started 20 minutes ago.
"wow, for once, na jaemin has done an amazing job."
"for once, stop roasting me. now shoo, I need to get my hair fixed."
the bickering between the two seemed so natural that you had kept quiet, not knowing if it was your place to interfere the conversation.
this was something you had always feared when you meddle with a dimension, the feeling of belonging. belonging somewhere that wasn't meant for you. would it hurt to feel? no. but it hurts knowing that whatever you did in this dimension, it wasn't you who did it. in the eyes of others, it was someone else. the deeds you do, the memories you share, the love you yearn.
once upon before the apocalypse, life was like this. concerts, outings, bonding, but it was also a time of weakness. your weakness of being powerless to protect the things precious to you, the people once dear to you. but when you've found the power to, you've lost beyond salvation, and there was nothing left to protect.
as you made your way to the seats, aeri couldn't hold back the urge to ask. because the way your eyes didn't carry that special shine her best friend naturally has, concerned her.
she could sense something different seeping from your usual aura. on certain days when you're not in the best condition, there would be times where she can tell that you aren't happy or upset about something and she'd find the right cure to your sour mood.
however, today felt odd. it was seemingly an aura that she hasn't seen from you. you weren't feeling good, but it felt as if you lost the fire in you. the fire you had bore in your soul for your passion. if it had been a bright red fire, it's like it turned into a calming blue one. somewhere in you, you've lost something, never able to ignite a bright red fire ever again.
aeri had convinced herself that perhaps you were tired from piano, burnt out and taking a break from it to regain that passion.
the previous act had just ended, and everyone were to take a five to check if everything was in order. the blaring speakers and annoying mc finally stopped ringing in your ears. instead, a soft voice tickled your right ear, sending shivers down your spine.
"baby, are you really okay? you don't seem to look well."
the girl had leaned in to whisper, and it almost short-circuited your brain with how proximity was out of the window instantly by that small gesture.
"yeah, I'm fine, what makes you say that?"
"you look.. different."
"and you feel different too."
it was as if she had known from the start, that you weren't her best friend she knew. yet, she was trying her best to make sense of her confusion. deep down, you knew that all of this was making no sense. absolutely no sense how you were sitting here with a person in the face of your lover, waiting for your friend's performance in the middle of the summer. all it took was a step out of the house and another step back to report to your superior of your work.
and here you were, reminiscing the memories you had. they were irreplaceable, and will never be. but no one can stop you from making new ones either. just this once, you say. just this once to hold her in my arms one last time.
as your arm grazed against hers, you were looking into her eyes for the first time since the evening started. never have you realized that she had such mesmerizing eyes, pulling you in like gravity.
when you had gazed into her eyes, she spotted a glimpse of admiration, the one that she was ever so familiar with. it put her at peace, reassured that you were alright that night.
your demeanor changed since that night, but she decided to brush it off, convincing herself that she was just overthinking again like she usually does. but maybe, she should have questioned further.
who were you?
you were a fever dream, but also a lifetime nightmare.
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minutes turned into hours, and hours turned into days. the sense of time is only perceived in dimensions that were able to escape apocalypse. back at the headquarters, time was fluid, seemingly long at certain moments and short when you don't even notice. which was why you weren't too worried about residing longer in this dimension beside aeri.
"hey, what do you think about love?"
as she laid her head on your lap as you leaned against her bedframe, the question took you aback a little. this very question was presented to you ages ago by your lover, vaguely remembering the scene in your head. but you remembered your response to it, and it doesn't apply to you anymore. 'love is when I find myself staring at your eyes and get the butterflies each and every time.'
"love is like a thorn in a rose waiting to prick the chosen one."
"it's something so beautiful you can't help but to get close to, and once you admire and realize its worth, it pricks you. leaving you to bleed, it creates a kind of pain that numbs you, yet you reach for it again like none of that happened."
"it makes you yearn for it, and when you've had too many wounds, that's when you notice that you're hopeless."
you never forgot how it felt to love her, it was all too familiar when it felt so natural to fall for aeri, which you almost couldn't resist. the way her eyes curve into crescents as she smiles, the way her scent fill your senses when she leans on your shoulder, the way you feel the butterflies when you stare into her eyes.
it scared you.
this wasn't where you were to belong. yet, the feeling of loving her permeated through your entire being, unable to shake off as you willingly dive deeper into your emotions.
"girl, did someone hurt you?"
aeri laughed away, thinking that you were half-heartedly joking and sarcastically answering the question. her best friend wasn't the type to dwell in the topic of love and dating. she had better priorities in life, which was the piano that sat in her room across from aeri's.
the lack of your laughter made her frown instantly, cursing at herself for perhaps making a mistake.
"what's wrong? did someone really-"
"no no, nothing's wrong. I just thought of that when you asked me. it just felt like love is a rose, it can be beautiful and romantic to some, but also a painful past for others."
"well, you're not wrong. remember that guy from middle school? he was literally the biggest idiot in class and he had the balls to confess to you with a bunch of roses in front of the whole school."
"yeah, that was definitely not it."
you laughed along, but you couldn't. the story was too familiar, this was what happened to you ages ago. not this person you were posing as, but you. the details matched your experience, but only that the person receiving the confession being your lover.
it was too hard to just brush it off as a coincidence. many could be, but this was too specific. timelines matched but with only the people as a difference. the thought of this dimension being a parallel universe of yours brought shivers down your spine. what if it was? what if this dimension's apocalypse was inevitable, just like yours?
many what ifs were not going to stop the apocalypse. you were the only hope to save the world, but screw the world. all that crossed your mind as you caressed her hair was only one thing that mattered to you.
'I will keep you safe, even if it meant that I'd never be able to see you again.'
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jaemin and jeno had agreed to go together to a frat party you were technically forced to go by some jock you bumped into in the hallway while you were on your way to meet aeri. the dude kept pestering that you blatantly spat in his face that you were going. he didn't mention that you couldn't have people tag along, so you had asked the boys if it was possible to stick around in case things get out of hand.
the girl though, she had the balls to say that she was worried about you. she was going to stick with you the entire time you were there in case some idiots decided to hit on you, she'd be able to swat them away. the audacity, you thought.
if anything, guys were clearly going to swarm over her instead, and you'd have to act as her bodyguard. given that you're a good three to four inches taller than her, that itself would be possible to scare a majority. nothing could get her off your arm as you walked into the house, reeking of alcohol and sweat already at nine. before you could even show your face to that jock and perhaps head to the quietest area which was probably the pool, you felt eyes on her. maybe this was a bad decision after all.
you didn't want to ruin the mood for the many people who were enjoying this, so all you could do was subside that indecipherable internal anger of yours and find that idiot so you could leave this instant. the dirty looks all over aeri made your insides churn and boil, no matter how much you tried to understand why, you never could.
you didn't love the girl, she was a different person from your lover, just bearing identical physical traits. it was something that you had been telling yourself ever since you arrived here two months ago. that was how long you’ve spent being here, than the usual one-week stay.
trying so hard to deny that you harboured feelings for aeri, your efforts were all in vain when all it takes is just a flash of her smile. even during this moment of her laughing along with jaemin and jeno, it reminds you too much of her. the smile you would see when she feeds the stray cat outside your office, the laughter you would hear when you tickle her during pillow fights.
why was it so hard to walk away and do what you were sent to do here initially? why did fail to resist the sweet temptation of being in love again? when you couldn’t even hold onto that hand of your lover? the hand in yours felt so warm, contradicting the chilly feeling that set into place ever since that day.
she started melting the glacier of ice, while you took a step back to freeze it again. because it’s wrong, so wrong.
"I see hyunjin there."
jeno's voice caught your attention along with the name. following his point of direction, you finally spot that jock chatting away in the kitchen corner with presumably his friends. definitely, you weren't going to let the girl tag along cause enough was enough, another guy and you were going to tear this place down.
"aeri, can you stay with jae for a bit? I'll go say hi then I'll be right back. jeno's gonna be here so don't worry."
although she was very reluctant to let you go alone, you showed her those shining eyes, praying it works again this time. thankfully, she gives you a nod and heads off with jaemin first.
as you made your way towards hyunjin, you were extremely disgusted at how his friends were eyeing you up and down, like you were nothing but just an item. him on the other hand, was a lot better surprisingly.
it reminded you a lot of your high school days. the times when your lover had numerous suitors waiting in line to be her one and only. but she had eyes for you. you were still oblivious of the heart eyes you got from her then. it took you years to realize before you dated. it was the exact definition of ‘she fell first, but you fell harder’. until now, it still pretty much applied.
"hey! you made it!"
"yeah, you were following me around for three days, asking me to come."
he laughed awkwardly, even a little shy. what was this boy's deal?
it was as if the tables have turned, you now dealing with these boys who were fawning over her. perhaps in this dimension, you were quite a popular one.
"I just wanted to get to know you more, so I thought of getting you to come and spend some time together."
as much as he seemed nice, you weren't interested, and unwilling to lead him on to thinking you were.
"sorry, I have a boyfriend. but we could still be friends."
a little lie wouldn’t hurt him, and jeno was conveniently standing on guard with his supposedly scary aura which you found amusing.
you extended your hand politely in hopes he wouldn't have a freak out and frantic screaming that his love interest had an alleged boyfriend.
"I see... well then, great to be your acquaintance. I hope you have enjoy your time here."
you started to notice that his friends weren't eyeing you eerily, but rather that it seemed that they were wary of your intentions with hyunjin. it was as if you were about to play with this boy's heart, and that's when you remembered that rumor of a varsity player being dumped by that good-for-nothing cheerleader.
in fact, you witnessed that cheerleader sucking off some other guy’s face in the stairways. you’ve never made such a fast u-turn in your life, which you probably should have when you were making that decision to join the organization. but have you not joined, you wouldn’t have had the chance to meet aeri. and maybe you would have been long dead.
who knows? you might have met your lover in the afterlife when the creatures found you, had it not for the organization.
if fate decided to play a game, you had no choice but to shoot your shot at it.
"thanks for the invite."
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"jaemin, please tell me I'm not crazy. I swear that's not her."
"if that's not her, then who is she? come on, aeri. be real."
"I am being real. she keeps avoiding the hugs I give her, and when I get a little closer, she literally freezes up."
the girl ran her hands through her hair in frustration, not knowing what is the truth and what isn't anymore.
for the past two months, she sensed something different about you. were you drastically different? no. something was, and she just knew. but what? these were the questions that had occupied her head for the past week.
she noticed you avoiding her eyes, taking brief glances only, as if you were afraid. afraid of getting your feelings hurt. but why should you? you've been best friends with aeri for as long as you could remember. if anything, you two were inseparable according to reliable sources like jaemin and jeno.
the only thing was, the memories you gained from the owner of this body. it was torturing you more than you thought it should. the smile on her face through these eyes, the sweet laughter through these ears, the gentle touches through these fingertips. endless nights of witnessing aeri fall asleep before you did. just like those times you did when she was your lover.
"that's it? sis, I thought she'd turn into a werewolf or had poisonous potions in a secret room or something."
"and you're the one who's telling me to be real."
"and you're an idiot. sounds like she just likes you to me."
a thousand questions popped in her head. then those questions were given their respective answers as she put together the puzzle one by one. maybe, you liked her. maybe, you loved her.
but why? nothing had changed between you and her so why now? she admits that she had felt attracted to you at times, but she couldn't be sure that she had feelings for you. however she was uncertain, you hadn't been the most expressive these days and she wasn't a mind reader.
when she saw you emerging from the crowd with jeno, she knew that she needed answers before the night ended.
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unfortunately no, aeri didn't get any answers because she didn't have a chance to ask. her frustration fueled the endless beer refills which ended her drunk on your back as you prepared her for bed.
and you were lucky that she hadn't gotten the chance to do so. for the past two months, every day you woke up to was a curse in disguise of a blessing. the realization that hit you every time that like a reminder at the back of your head, that aeri wasn't your lover. and every single thing you've done with her won't remain as time spent with you, but her best friend who's the best pianist to her.
all she remembers when she woke up the next day was nothing, with a hangover that was giving her the worse headache. and you remember everything too vividly.
that night, as you tucked her hair behind her ear, all you could do was hold back sobs as a tear managed to escape, trickling down your cheek.
you couldn't sit by and enjoy this newfound life any longer. the day this world ends was getting closer and you had a mission to prevent the apocalypse. you weren't waivered by the possibility of a punishment that would cost your life. you were terrified of witnessing another time of losing someone you loved, someone you love.
you love aeri, yes. but was it the remnants of the love you had for your lover? although that may have been the case, you couldn't deny that her and aeri shared countless similarities. it was wrong to keep drawing resemblances between the two. nevertheless, one thing was for sure.
this version of you in this dimension, had loved aeri for a long time.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…"
"I love you so much."
"please forgive me."
"nothing in this world belongs to me. but this love, my love is all mine, forever for you."
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nineteenfiftysix · 3 months
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      ➵   ⁺     🍷  ;   all this drama ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
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𔘓 𝓛 ִִֶָ 𝖺𝖾𝗌𝗉𝖺 : 𝖽𝗋𝖺𝗆𝖺 ✿
ㅤ ⊹ㅤ 𓈒 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𖹭 𝗋𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀⠀ ۫ ꒱
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blanceverlast · 3 months
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remember when...
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