#trying to distract myself again will just lead to my frelings getting out of control again

[naes-dairy]

I really want to give up

I really wish the body didn't try so hard

Just make an exception for me, please

I'm seriously so tired, I'm not even doing any work

I always crumble apart when I'm on my own

Nobody is there to see me or hear me

I'm so tired of it all

I though the dead of night was my safe haven

The time where I could freely be me to do whatever I want

But now it's a nightmare

I long to see it, yet dread the tears

It's painful

Of all it, I just want to sleep forever

I don't even remember my dreams

It's like life is a nightmare and we all have to out up with it

Some survive, others dint

I don't want to

I want to give up.

Just let me give up, please

I'm so tired.

Please.

I don't even know what else to say

I can compare my sufferings to all the other people in the world and berate myself

But pain is still pain, and it hurts nonetheless.

I wish it didnt

But being immune to pain doesn't cure the sickness.

Man. I know I was never suicidal, but...

I really wonder how many times I've lied to people about my feelings

Nobody knows.

Nobody will figure it out.

I can only leave the faintest clues for people, and even then my facade will trick them

I wish death would just take me

I don't want to suffer anymore, even if I'm the one who's causing it

Because I can't even fix what I've started

And that's the worst kind of trouble

#ive given up on trying ti meesage crisis lines #trying to call them is even worse because of my anxiety #i just want to give up #im saying it in the nicest way possible #i dont want to die #i want to stop trying #to give up and never return #to stop breathing of my own accord #and dream of an endless slumber #its too bad i dont really have dreams #i dont even know what im talking about anymore #maybe ive lost it #trying to distract myself again will just lead to my frelings getting out of control again #im sick of this #im sick of myself #you dont understand #i dont understand #expresso the depresso #naes vent posts #i must be depressed #depression #suicide #i guess #im so sick in the head #what is wrong with me #what #what?