naes-dairy

[naes-dairy]

I still wonder what would happen if I got sent hate tho

#hm.. someone should still do it lol #distract the haters with my hater distracting aura

[naes-dairy]

Yeah these posts are just in the moment depression posts and if you know me then NO you DONT

#yeap

[naes-dairy]

(p.s. surely I'll hate myself later, but for now I won't think about it)

#girlfailuring through life with joy in my eyes

[naes-dairy]

Acknowledging the bad parts of me and not hating myself for it, instead planning and moving to change, it's an accomplishment.

#im a little proud..? #whyd they read my tags omg im gonna try #cry #im gonna cry of joy omg #im so embarrassed????? whos actually read that word vomit ramble of mine :') #pls.pls.plsplsplsplsplsplsplsls #well. sorry vent account. im feeling a little bit better #what #what?

[naes-dairy]

maybe... maybe it will be okay.

#feeling a little better now #genuinely #^^ #hope this lasts!

[naes-dairy]

Hate how I literally can't function if I don't give myself a distraction

#but then when im distracted i don't get anything done #im a mess #expresso the depresso #what #what?

[naes-dairy]

just wallowing in self loathing

#im lonely but i do this to myself. ppl probably think im too weird or uncomfy to talk to #or that im boring. yeah #hate myself

[naes-dairy]

all my posts scream "notice me"

#its kinda sad actually #hate myself #expresso the depresso #what #what?

[naes-dairy]

I just feel like shit idk.. like I really crave attention and interaction from my friends but I don't even speak to anyone??? I really hate myself for using c.ai and all this dumb ai stuff but I'm pretty addicted, tho I'm trying to stop. Just.. talking to ppl drains me so much?? Texting and being me it's so tiring. I can't handle it and I can't vent because I'll just feel worse. These people don't know me that well and it's not like they trust me. I'm just a random person in the end and I really haven't done anything memorable. I'm just so tired of this cycle and omggg I'm not even gonna get into the irl stuff because I literally have to friends but that makes sense BC I can't even have a full convo with someone.. like I can barely do that online,,, how am I gonna do that irl? I'm so self depreciating and it sucks so bad. Someone stab an arrow through my heart and make it bleed faster cause this wound ain't healing anytime soon

#geez #let that out but i still feel terrible #oh well #man im a loser... #expresso the depresso #what #what?

[naes-dairy]

I hope nobody finds this account ever

#id perish

[naes-dairy]

I'd be sooooo annoying if I wasn't scared

#i WAS annoying too #then i stopped cause who wants annoying #and i guess ppl would see me as weird for remembering them after such a long time of not knowing each other #loke. creep #expresso the depresso #what #what?

[naes-dairy]

what can I do to get me some anon hate

#im already oathetic so i dont think many ppl would wanna hate on me

[naes-dairy]

heck yeah with my ultra important thought out plan, the hate messages should be rolling in...

#dumb

[naes-dairy]

can someone send me anon hate

#anon #hate #anon hate #please #ive spilt my guts out on this account im sure you'll be able to hurt me

[naes-dairy]

I feel the need to vent publicly

#as in on my main lol #just no. its not what im here for #im getting so upset over the smallest things that have nothing to do with me #like.. “omg why is the world full of hatred” when its literally someone who doesnt know i exist dealing with a minor problem that they dont- #-even care about #and im telling myself dumb stuff #oh why do these people target all these amazing ppl and NOT me :( #i think i might be mentally ill #maybe 🤔 #amyways. then i get upset over the same person having friends like what??? #i have friends. stop being sad. ive ruined my whole day just by thinking #all these aporeciation posts im so happy and my brain jjst has to ruin jt #i hate my brain #please stop thinking #i hate it so so so much #im just.. i dont know #communicating js so hard #if the internet didnt exist id probably be soulless and dead already smh #maybe itd be better if people never acknowledged me #the urge to disappear bc i hate myself #the urge is so strong each time but i feel like its soo selfish #and not fair #i cant with this workd #seriously #expresso the depresso #what #what?

[naes-dairy]

Man. I'm in a void with a lightbulb, and I focus so much on the lightbulb. So much my eyes hurt. I can't bare the darkness that surrounds me. When the lightbulb dies, I'm lost. Like I'm no longer part of the world, nothing to be, nothing to see feel or touch. And when that lightbulb is replaced, I stare at it once more.

#sometimes the lightbulb flickers #my eyes cling onto the light #but the sudden flash hurts me and i cant help but think about the darkess #but i stare so far into the light. trying to reach that emptiness un the colour light #because light often means happiness. isnt this my happiness? #thats what happiness is #isnt it? #its happy. im happy #depression #i guess #expresso the depresso #what #what? #hate myself

[naes-dairy]

I'd gladly be alone if it meant you were happier without me...

#i think thats the case #quotes #from me ofc #this is dumb... #what #what?