#toss his ass into cyberspace | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

i-eat-worlds · 9 months

Text

Alex & Friends Part 7: Respite

Alex gets a break. Team fluff kinda. cw: literally nothing. Like minor Trauma.

Alex had enjoyed her four hours of sleep. Joseph had gone with her to get a change of clothes, then showed her to the guest bunks. After a quick shower, she peeled off her soaking, cut up clothes and changed into the fresh set. Finally, she crawled into bed. There was no tossing and turning while trying to get to sleep. Alex dropped straight in a dreamless coma almost immediately. Her alarm rudely roused her four hours later. For a brief moment, she stretched and yawned, then rolled out of bed. She quickly remade the guest bunk, laced up her boots, and made her way to the chow hall for breakfast. Debrief was at seven sharp, and she needed to eat.

It was strange being back in an INSUPA Center after two years away. She hadn’t slid her arms into the black uniform jacket in ages. It felt odd to mark herself so obviously as a member. Alex had spent the better part of a year integrating herself within Shadow, and here she was, wearing the orange and blue logo of the organization that she had needed to disappear from. Now, she was surrounded by it. Smack-dab on everyone’s shoulder.

The longest line in the chow hall was for the coffee machine, which Alex bypassed for the food. Her tray was quickly filled with eggs, bacon, sausage, and a cinnamon roll that was liberally dribbled in icing. While the rest of the food was about average, INSUPA chow halls could make a killer cinnamon roll. Alex shoveled food into her mouth, leaving no survivors. Recently, she’d been living off of various take out places and less than tasty ration packs, so abundant quantities of palatable food was a minor miracle. She saved the cinnamon roll for last, unraveling the pastry with her fork. Her stomach filled, she snagged an energy drink from the cooler. They were not her preferred manner of caffeination, but the coffee line was seriously ridiculous. Now all she had to do was nd her way to the debriefing room.

*********

Eric reclined in one of the office chairs that surrounded the large table in conference room 2A. The famous conference room 2A. Every INSUPA Center had one, the room where INSUPA’s “best of the best” teams were briefed. They were all over TV, Superheroes in their custom uniforms informing the public of another success. The visible faces of powered people everywhere.

Of course, reality is far less glamorous. The 2A conference room is used by just about any INSUPA team, and very few powered people could lift up cars and throw them, zap people with lighting, or whatever else that the “best of the best” did. In Eric’s experience, the people with more “mundane” powers were not only far more helpful, they also could keep their ego in check. They were good team players. Speaking of his team, they’d all arrived in 2A. Joseph, his second in command, sat across the table from him. He sorted through a file folder, but every now and then, his eyes flickered over to Aarav. Fair enough, seeing as less than twelve hours ago, Joseph had been cradling their bleeding, concussed head in his hands. Aarav was the youngest member of the team, and Joseph had taken a little bit of a shine to them. So had Avia. She was sitting next to him, chatting about a video game. Avia had been on the team for a fairly long time, and Eric had met very few people who could kick ass as well as they could. Across from Avia was Teri, headphones wrapped around her skull, attention absorbed by her laptop screen. Eric highly doubted she’d slept at all last night. While the rest of them were sleeping, she’d been deep in the guts of cyberspace, searching for answers. As always, Sil came in last, a giant can of monster energy in his hand, wearing his signature beanie. Taking a sip of his beverage, he sat down next to Alexis and popped his legs up on the table.

Alexis was an interesting new addition to the room. She looked uncomfortable in the space. Her borrowed uniform didn’t fit quite right, and she kept tugging down the collar. He’d sat back down in his chair. “She’s surprisingly good at wound care.” Were the only words that left his mouth. The final person in the room was Senior Administrator Nicki Rudick. Her hands sat folded in front of her, her gray admin uniform crisp. She stood in the far corner of the room, to the side of several TV screens. Rudick checked her watch, then stepped forward. “Good Morning, Turquoise Team.”

Tag list: @pigeonwhumps

#worlds babbles #whump #fluff #team whump #truama mention #alexoc #joseph oc #aviaoc #ericoc #terioc #aaravoc #rudickoc #alex & friends #so many characters

11 notes · View notes

theoddcatlady · 5 months

Text

The Midnight Buskers

“All right, ladies and gents, three rules for tonight!”

Adam clapped his hands together, snapping me awake from my position in the front seat. I’d not even meant to fall asleep, I’d just been on my feet all day and I wasn’t really up for being out this late. But this was apparently a ‘once in a lifetime’ experience and I’d not had a chance to hang with Adam outside of cyberspace for months. So I let myself be dragged along as long as I didn’t have to drive. I didn’t have the gas money.

My energetic friend held up a finger. “Rule one, remember to tip. But these people don’t accept bills, did you bring the change, Fiona?”

Fiona nodded as she shook her bulging coin purse. “Hold out your hands,” She said as she gave us each a handful of coins. “Call us even for the time you guys let me couch surf for like a year.”

“Won’t they need more than just a few quarters?” I asked, stuffing the coins in my pockets.

Adam shook his head. “It’s not the value, it’s the shine. The shinier the coins the better. That’s what they like. Rule two,” His second finger popped up, “Be careful around the pretty ones. The prettier, the less trustworthy. If you have to pick between chilling with the cross eyed guy that’s drooling and the Victoria’s Secret Model, you will be leagues safer with the drooler.”

Jessie rolled his eyes, clearly not taking this too seriously, but Andrea frowned. “I thought you said this wouldn’t be dangerous,” She asked.

“It’s not! As long as you listen to the rules, you’re in no danger whatsoever. And number three,” The final finger went up, “Be back at the car at three AM. Don’t be leaving at three AM, be here at three AM. This is the most important rule. Time will get away from you. Set an alarm on your phone if you have to. But be here. Okay?”

I yawned. “That won’t be a problem. I’ll be back by one, probably. Taking a freaking nap,” I grumbled. I got a giggle from Fiona for that. I glanced around the dark park we were parked on the edge of. “I thought this all started at midnight, where is everyone?”

Adam checked his watch. “Just a sec… just a sec…. Now!” He snapped his fingers.

A streetlight popped on, just feet away from our car, and there was the juggler.

He wore a very snappy red and white striped shirt and a straw hat, and in his hands were five orange balls. After taking a short bow, he started tossing them in the air. Andrea gasped, her hands flying up to her mouth as more streetlamps began turning on, revealing fairy lights that were strung up between the poles.

A park I’d initially thought was vacant was now full of people, and before I knew it I stepped out of the car to get a better look.

The juggler winked as I stepped closer. “Hey, welcome to the show!” He said, throwing a ball and balancing it on his nose without missing a beat.

That got a chuckle from me and the juggler beamed. I reached in my pocket and pulled out two brand new pennies, tossing them into the glass bowl in front of him.

“Truly a generous gentleman!” Somehow the juggler managed to bow and not drop a single ball.

Walking into the park itself I was greeted with music from different sources, all playing the same jaunty tune. I stopped dead in my tracks at a booth with two hearts painted on the front, a curly haired gal sitting at it and puckering her lips in my direction. She had painted her face pure white other than her lips, which had a heart painted right in the center.

I put two quarters into the plastic cup on the booth. “Just a kiss?” I asked.

The girl didn’t say a word, just winked and leaned on in. I leaned in as well, making the mistake of closing my eyes. When I reopened them, I was no longer kissing the cutie but instead an elderly woman covered in disgusting warts and zits. I yelped and dodged away from her attempt to add tongue to our kiss, wiping my lips off vigorously. The hag howled and slapped her knee as the heart lipped cutie popped out from under the booth, also laughing her ass off.

“I can see why Adam said don’t trust the pretty ones,” I grumbled as I walked off to see more of the performers.

Fiona was currently in awe at a violinist, the right side of his face drooping as it seemed to be almost melting off his skull. Even the eye looked seconds from popping out. But the song he played was oh so joyful, oh so sweet, even I found myself stopping to enjoy it.

“I could listen to this all night,” She whispered. I nodded in agreement before tossing a penny into his case.

I saw a tear trickle down the paralyzed half of the violinist’s face as he bowed his head in my direction.

I found Andrea getting her palm read by someone who could’ve been the kissing booth hag’s twin sister, only even more hideous. Andrea waved me over and gestured to the elderly woman. “This is Basil, damn, she’s not too bad at this. Says I’m definitely in line for my promotion as long as I don’t let that jerk Mike try to intimidate me.”

“I didn’t call him a jerk, I called him a slimy, dickless snake. Be specific,” The woman croaked. She gestured to me next. “Would you like a reading, sweetie? I could make us some tea too.”

I shook my head. “No offense, I don’t really do fortune tellers,” I said.

Basil shrugged. “Suit yourself. You got some lipstick right here,” She tapped her bottom lip.

I heard Andrea snickering as I walked away, beet red and rubbing furiously away at my lipstick stain.

“Cotton candy!”

A bag was shoved in my face by a kid who couldn’t be older than ten, his emotionless face covered with freckles. I took it, mostly because if I didn’t I would’ve gotten whacked in the face. “Thanks, uh,” I dug in my pocket and handed him a coin, “Here?”

The boy took it, examined it in the lights before he popped it in his mouth and began chewing. “Pleasure doing business,” He burped before ambling off.

The cotton candy’s bag didn’t have any label on it, the floss itself was colored like the rainbow, but it tasted just fine as I continued my walk. I did catch a peek at Jessie hitting it off with a pair of acrobats, twins by the look of it, both giggling and lightly stroking his arm. Good grief.

I was cut off when a sharply dressed man stepped into my path. He tipped his top hat and gave a little bow before he pulled out his cards. “Pick a card, love,” He said, his voice soft but still audible above the music.

Chuckling, I took a card.

“Keep it a secret from me now, I don’t like to have the surprise spoiled,” The man winked and I noticed that his eyes were mismatched, the right was blue and the left was black. The magician shuffled the cards around, his fingers moving with fluidity I didn’t think was possible. “Keep watching… now, surprise!”

I sputtered as my credit card slipped out of his coat sleeve. “Is this your card?” He asked, oh so innocently.

I took it back, patting my wallet to see it was still there. “Okay, did you send that little kid from earlier to pick my pocket or something?” I asked.

“Kid from… cotton candy?” The magician bit his bottom lip before shaking his head. “No, I don’t do business with him. It would be my assistant, the lovely Bloom, who got your card of wealth. Bloom, darling? Could you give the gentleman back his phone as well?”

The woman stepped out of the shadows, wearing a black leotard and red stockings. She smiled as she handed it to me. “It ran out of battery while I had it on me, sorry. I tried to deliver it sooner,” She said, looking a bit sheepish.

“It’s fine, I’ll charge it when I’m back in the car,” I slipped it in my pocket, “I didn’t even see you though, how did you get my wallet?”

Blossom looped her arm in with mine. “Sit with us, I’ll explain,” She said, her fingers just gently grazing my arm. I almost declined when her magician friend took up the other side, snapping his fingers to get the attention of a little girl with purple pigtails.

“Darling, fetch us lemonades! Three, make Blossom’s a pink lemonade, of course!”

We all sat together on this picnic blanket, where the magician continued to play with his playing cards. Blossom draped her head on my shoulder, her emerald green eyes staring right at me. “You have such lovely eyelashes. Tell me, were you looking around when you were with the fortune teller?” She asked.

I shook my head.

“You were not, you were focused on a friend. That’s when I got your wallet. And were you paying attention as you took a bite of cotton candy?”

I shook my head again, finding it difficult to use my words.

“That’s when I returned it. I find my moments, I use them. I’m very good at that,” She tiptoed her fingers up my arm. “My master, Tristan, taught me to look for my moments.”

“Master?” I must’ve made quite the face because the magician started giggling.

“Get your head out of the gutter, I’m the Master of All Arcane Arts, Tristan! I have several assistants of both genders, I’ve performed for longer than you’d expect. I can make dreams come to life.” Tristan flipped his card around in his fingers several times before he rested it before me. It wasn’t a playing card anymore, I recognized it from when my younger sister went through her witch phase. It was a tarot card, specifically, the Magician.

I picked it up and rotated it in my fingers, trying to see if it was stuck to the playing card. “You’re not too bad at slight of hand,” I agreed.

The lemonades were sat down on the blanket and I took mine, taking a long sip. It was the perfect balance of sour and sweet, the best kind of lemonade. Tristan popped a ridiculously twisty green straw into his cup and sipped away, still smiling like he had a million secrets. “I thank you for your kindness, darling. I’ve performed all over the world and there’s nothing like a good compliment to fill the heart. How about we relax here for a bit? You look tired. Long day at work?” The magician rested his head on my knees and I never felt more comfortable to have two strangers so close to me.

“Not that I want to ruin a perfectly good conversation, but it’s been a long week at work.”

“Well, we have all night, don’t we?” Blossom ran her fingers through my hair and I melted. “Let’s just talk.”

We talked about my job, we talked about Blossom’s daughter back home, we talked about magic and illusions, we just talked and it could’ve been five minutes or five years when I felt someone roughly grab my shoulder and yank me away from Blossom and Tristan.

Tristan’s head bounced off the ground and his hat rolled off, I caught a glimpse of pointed ears before he put it back on. “Rude, couldn’t you have given us a few more minutes, woman?” He scolded. I looked back to see Fiona, who looked downright terrified.

“By then it’ll be three AM! Randy! Snap out of it!”

The comforting warmth of companionship faded away as I realized that the lights were starting to go off in the park. I slowly backed away from Tristan as the lights above him went dim. Suddenly the charming magician didn’t look so charming, his mismatched eyes now glowing pink and lavender in the dark. Meanwhile Blossom’s hair had grown down to her ankles, and around those ankles were vines, sprouting from her heels and roses blooming around her calves.

Tristan chuckled darkly as Fiona dragged me away from the pair, following us as the lights continued to go out. “You’ll never make it, Randy, how about we enjoy another cup of lemonade?” He replied in that soft voice of his.

I turned around and bolted then, now dragging along Fiona as we legged it for the car. As the lights went off, I saw the booths disappear, the people manning them either laughing at us or vanishing into thin air.

“Shitshitshit-” Fiona turned behind us and whatever she saw made her face go white. She screamed and with that burst of speed would’ve left me behind if our arms weren’t linked together. I dropped my cotton candy, it bouncing off the sidewalk before rolling into the darkness and melting into liquid, bubbling sugar.

The car was now in sight, but I knew we wouldn’t make it. I swore I could feel Tristan’s breath on the back of my neck, his sinister laughter echoing in my ears.

We weren’t going to make it. But I did.

Fiona came to a dead stop and before I could ask what she was doing she pushed me over into the road just as the last light went out.

I laid on the ground for a few moments before slowly turning around.

The park was now empty, save for a few playing cards fluttering in the wind, and a pair of glowing pink and lavender eyes that winked before they went dark.

#my stories

6 notes · View notes

jmeelee · 5 years

Text

Sterek Bingo 2019 • Theme: Wild Card

Cora’s twenty-first birthday party is in full swing when the vibration of an incoming text jiggles Derek’s right ass cheek. He pulls his phone from the pocket of his too-tight jeans to find a befuddling text: There myst be sumething wrong w my eyes.

Derek’s future does not include being an Alpha, and that’s fine; he’ll happily leave the politics, management, and difficult decision-making to his older sister, Laura. Instead, he’s been training the last few years—learning languages and studying cultures and meeting werewolves all over the world—to become his pack’s liaison. He’s young, but his good name and reputation are already circulating, so he automatically thinks, this must be a young werewolf in need of help. Plus, it’s no secret to the supernatural community that his beta-shifted eyes are blue, instead of gold.

His thumb’s hovering over the touchscreen when a drunk girl bumps into him, her red solo cup full of cheap beer exploding like a water balloon all over the front of his olive-green henley. “Oops,” she slurs, lids drooping over bloodshot blue eyes. She gropes his soaked pectorals with her bare hands.

Derek’s eyebrows berate her before he heads for the staircase. He’s tired of pseudo-babysitting intoxicated college kids anyway.

By the time he’s showered off the stale booze and changed into pajamas, almost an hour has passed. He grabs his phone off the nightstand to finally reply to his cryptic messenger, and finds a new text: i can’t take them off of u.

What the hell? It wasn’t a cry for help at all; it was a lame pick up line. Derek’s mood sours as he imagines Cora egging one of her immature girlfriends into sending him the terrible come-on. The culprit is probably downstairs right now. He swipes over the message, deleting it, and powers off his cell before climbing into bed, pulling a pillow over his head to drown out the noise.

He’s so done with this day.

A week and a half later Derek’s pushing a cart up and down the aisles at the grocery store when his phone chirps. He stares at the flashing number of the unknown contact, wondering why it looks vaguely familiar before he opens the text. Did you invent the airplane? Because you seem Wright for me.

At least there are no typos this time.

He almost deletes the message right away, but the split second he hesitates gives him an excuse to type back. This is clearly Gustave Whitehead erasure and I won’t stand for it.

The return response comes before he can black out his screen. Dude. Are we having our first fight?

Derek doesn’t hesitate this time. Find someone else to annoy.

Rude.

He puts his phone away and staunchly ignores the smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

He’s already in bed, and would never have heard the vibration except for his supernatural hearing. My name’s Microsoft. How about I crash at your place.

Derek blinks the sleep from his eyes enough to type back, I own a Mac.

In the morning, he sees the response. Harsh dude.

You must be a trumpet because you’re making me horny.

Wow. This is your worst one yet.

Is that a challenge, Derek?

NO!

Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine? Because you a snack!

Please stop.

“Derek, answer that or I’m going to punch you in the face,” Laura threatens between spoonfuls of cookie-dough ice cream. The harsh buzzing of his phone sounds like a jackhammer to their sensitive werewolf ears, and it’s disrupting their movie marathon.

If you were a transformer, you’d be Optimus Fine. Oh lord.

“What’s with the sappy smile, big brother?” Cora coos.

Derek schools his face into a scowl. “Nothing.”

She throws the blanket off her lap and lunges for the phone in his hand. A tussle ensues. Derek is older and stronger, but she’s fast, sneaky and not above fighting dirty, and she grips the phone before he knows what happened. “What the hell is this?” She’s screeching with laughter, holding his cell out so Laura can look. “Who’s sending you lame pick-up lines?”

“Why don’t you tell me?” he gripes. “You put her up to this.”

Cora furrows her brow. “Uh, what?”

“The night of your birthday party, the first pick-up line came through. It was someone at your party. I figured you put her up to it as a joke.”

She checks the number again. “The only person I ever gave your number to was Erica, for official pack business. This isn’t Erica’s number.” She grabs her cell off the coffee table and punches in the digits. “Well, I’ll be damned.” Cora laughs so hard her eyes water.

“Who is she?” Laura asks.

“Not a she.” Cora holds out her phone with a shit-eating grin so Derek and Laura can read her contacts. “It’s Stiles Stilinski.”

Terse silence follows her declaration. Then Derek asks, “Who the fuck is Stiles?”

6 & 7

“Forty-nine, fifty, fifty-one…” Derek counts out his squats in a whisper, monitoring his form in the full-length mirror. He feels his phone vibrate, and the grin reflecting back at him is disgusting. He should be ashamed.

He gently places the weight back on the rack when he completes the set and digs the phone from his mesh shorts.

Is your phone in your back pocket? Because that ass is calling me!

Derek honestly can’t say what possesses him to turn around, open his camera app, and hold the phone over his left shoulder. Perfect timing ur not following me r u? he writes back, attaching a photo of his butt. A dude doing kettlebell lunges across the gym gives him the stink eye.

Stiles answers with a string of peach emojis, which Derek understands, and a single unicorn emoji, which he doesn’t.

I know who you are, btw. Stiles Stilinski, the sheriff's kid? Cora figured it out

Usually, the response comes immediately, but Derek’s walking out to his car before he receives two simultaneous replies.

Well since the cat (be gr8ful i didn’t say pussy) is out of the bag

my mother used to tell me to follow my dreams so… where will you be tonight?

Derek sits behind the wheel, staring at his phone, weighing the pros and cons. He’s never gone on a blind date before, and he’s been burned, badly, in the past. Being single is sometimes lonely, but at least it’s safe. He doesn’t want to put a defenseless, unwitting human in harm’s way. His brain keeps supplying him with a list of perfectly rational reasons why he should leave their playful correspondence in the sandbox of cyberspace, but his heart furtively whispers what if.

8 & 9

There’s a live band at the bar, guitar player crooning a popular rock ballad while Derek nurses a beer for show. He checks his smartwatch for the seventh time in a span of three minutes and happens to catch the message notification as it pops up.

Do you know CPR? You better learn because ur taking my breath away

He spins around, searching for guys on their phones, frustrated to find almost every man in the bar staring at their screen. A baby-faced guy plops down on the open stool next to him as Derek’s eyes scan the crowd.

“Scott bet me I wouldn’t be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful person in the room.” Derek glances back, startled, to find a generous mouth smiling at him. “What should we do with his money?”

His first thought: HOT. His second thought: young. “Tell me you’re twenty-one,” Derek greets him. “Actually, please tell me you’re legal.”

Stiles dramatically crosses his heart, eyes wide. “I only look seventeen, I promise. It’s a blessing and a curse.” He holds out a sturdy but slender, long-fingered hand. “I’m Stiles. It’s nice to officially meet you.”

Derek takes his outstretched hand in a firm grip and swears he feels a zing when their skin makes contact. It’s official; he’s been single too long. “Derek. Let me buy you a drink, and you can tell me how you got my number in the first place.”

Stiles winks as Derek flags the bartender. “A gentleman never reveals his secrets.”

“Gentleman?” Derek, cold, fresh beer in hand, arches a brow. “Based on some of the texts I’ve received, I’m not sure gentleman is the correct term.”

Stiles clinks his drink against Derek’s. “Touché.” He eyes Derek over the lip of his brown bottle. “So, did you lace your pilsner with wolfsbane, or do you enjoy the taste?”

Derek, mid-sip, spits his beer onto the bartop. “What the hell?” he sputters, mopping at the mess with the world’s least absorbent cocktail napkin.

Stiles calmly takes a sip. “Come on, dude. My father’s the sheriff, and this town is literally a supernatural shit-show. If that wasn’t enough, my best friend is Scott McCall.”

“McCall?” Derek leans closer, soggy napkins forgotten, to whisper, “The True Alpha?” Derek’s met Scott at a few local pack gatherings.

“Yup,” Stiles replies. “He was bitten by a rogue werewolf when we were sixteen. So you could say I’ve been a little-” He makes exaggerated air quotes- “involved in the supernatural scene the past few years.”

Derek leans back, accessing Stiles in a new light: deceptively lean physique, handsome, impish face, the ability to make Derek laugh, and take him by surprise. The laundry list of reasons not to do this quickly goes up in smoke in the face of being able to show his true nature to a partner. Stiles smiles like he knows exactly what Derek is thinking.

“So, what do you say? Do I pass the test? Should we give going on an official first date a shot?”

“One condition,” Derek demands, holding up his index finger. “You’re not allowed to use a single pick up line all night.”

Stiles squawks, tossing long arms into the air. “You might as well ask me not to breathe! Or the Mets not to lose!”

“Chicken?” he asks, leaning into Stiles’ space. Derek quirks a brow and lifts his chin, eyes drawn like a magnet to Stiles’ tongue when it sneaks out to wet his lips.

“Hell no. Challenge accepted. Eight pm Saturday night.” An impish grin. “I’m gonna date you so hard, Hale.”

As far as (official) first dates go, it’s pretty damn amazing. The conversation flows as easily as the wine at dinner, and Stiles’ running jokes and commentary during the shitty movie doesn’t bother Derek at all. He’s thrilled to find their easy banter translates to real life, after weeks of electronic flirtation.

“Hey,” Derek whispers as they say good-night at Stiles’ apartment door. He wraps his arms around Stiles’ waist, pulling him close. He brushes a kiss, feather-light, across Stiles’ mouth and smirks. “Are you a magician? Because when I’m with you, everyone else disappears.”

Stiles leans back, arms still locked around Derek’s shoulders. “What the hell, man! You said no pick-up lines!”

Derek tuts. “I said you couldn’t use any. I never made the same promise.”

Stiles’ eyes narrow. “Serious question?”

“Shoot.”

“Will there be a second date?”

A second, a third, and more, if Derek has any say in the matter. “Absolutely.”

Stiles’ grin is slightly manic as he untangles slim fingers from Derek’s hair. “Well then, there’s probably something I should show you.” He holds up a hand in front of Derek’s face and snaps his fingers. A spark of light fizzles to life before his eyes, emanating from Stiles’ palm, and burning ozone singes the fine hairs inside his nose.

“Huh,” Derek replies, dumbly. “I did not see that coming.”

Stiles’ coy smile ignites something hot inside him. “I have some other party tricks I could show you if you want to come in?”

Derek leans forward again, chasing the bright glimmer of magic between them, the one that’s been there the whole time. “Oh, absolutely.”

——

For @evanesdust and based on THIS PROMPT by @faladrast

#eternalsterek #haleinski #sterekbingo2019 #sterek #sbwildcard3 #sterekbingo

139 notes · View notes

orderessay-us-blog · 6 years

Text

Smoking Ban in New York Essay

' passage Topic:\n\nHas The locoweed discard in NY Affected economy?\n\nEssay Questions:\n\nwhen did the stinkpot absolve agate line act passed.\nwhat does the justness solid ground on the button\nwhat carve upies substantiateed the mickle free distribute act and why. \nwho was against the hatful free striving act and why.\nhas the git free personal line of credit act accomplished our economy, how.\nwho bene aspects from the smok free commonplaceise act.\nwas the roll of tobacco free walkover act a rock-steady move for NYC\n\ndissertation Statement:\n\n skunk ostracize would befool sort of disconfirming rig on modern york metropolis range. The more or less metier contrastes ar eating define and pub short letter who affright to ache a prominent list of its customers.\n\n \n Has The sweep up in Ban in NY Affected our economy?\n\nThe b be-assed-made geezerhood were marked by a groundswell of upkeep for smokeless eating place and blockade impartialitys. The first has been developed from put ups and local anaestheticities crosswise the country.The master(prenominal) endeavor of the present solar day is the growth in smoke-free practice of equitys nation huge. The shape is passed to(p) by the false every(prenominal)egations against heater practice of fair playfulnesss. The stem for the allegations is the thought process that smoke-free uprightnesss give prejudice local economies and moving ines. In this constitution I testament try to wonder the study rear of sess natural uprightnesss of US economy and eating place business. Particular vigilance will be paid to the benefits from the smoke free air act. The studied ara is the bea of newborn York metropolis.\n\nMarch 26, 2003 sensation the date of ostracise on fume. During this clipping, a proceeds of newfound York State legislators clear a state-wide locoweed toss stunnedishment. The initiative has been taken by governor Pataki, who immediately sign-language(a) the documents. The illegalize on pot took place on July 24, 2003.\n\nThe relegate suggested umpteen innovations more(prenominal) than of which superseded all new(prenominal) local laws. The country that hold up was Suffolk County. The throw away on pot in the county was delayed till 2006.\n\nHowever, cast out on dope is concerned with a big controversy that pertain a livelong uncover. The search shows that the state has seen fit to take consider of all other states. Under the dowery like these, all other states atomic way out 18 loose to desexualize a excerption between the next: either to detain their local laws or to abide the law that has been suggested by a state.\n\nBan on heater in shuns and eating houses was attach to by the baffling new law. The law was projected to fall down the human activity of customers who ar visiting cafes and restaurants. Supporters o f the account ar key outing the conceit that clean Yorkers would be fitted to chop-chop adjust to the changes. tally to the bill sticker, consume in a bar is separated from the eat pathby a environ or at least hexad feet of lay. That is the only space that would be allowed for smokers. The law states that locoweed for diners would be permitted only in a special, wrap dining room with its receive cellular respiration system. (Borland, 2003, p.23)\n\nEven instantaneously the mend of the forbidding on weed is difficult to define. An scrutiny of government info, populace polls, private views and interviews with customers, employees inspection and repaired to cave in the additional data that pertains to the banning on heater in a design of bars and restaurants that be located close to the city. The law is inform to induce a strong impact on virtually businesses. However, non all the businesses atomic function 18 accomplished by the law.\n\nmany bar owners and managers are account to observe the opinion that smoking ban may hurt business, olibanum eroding cyberspace in most of the areas. A itemize of restaurants and bars owners were report to mention the estimate the ban on smoking has non moved(p) the activities of the business. In addition, the major part of the novel York inhabitants utter an thought that they are happy with the results of the modern polls. The review of the survey shows that quite a big number of regular restaurant goers are report to view a smoke-free milieu as an attraction.\n\nThe very(prenominal) roll in the hay be told to the highest degree the main city shadow spots. Most of the spate are describe to be hurt by the ban. However, the depict shows just the diametrical: happy-hour sales on Friday nights at the whiskey Ward on the Lower eastern hemisphere Side mend down capitulationped to barely $100, from $600 (The grass Ban: open Air, Murky Economics) much(prenominal) in formation is collected on the basis of information provided by co-owners. Many co owners as well mention the idea that ban on smoking will negatively effect the norm bar attendance. As a result, many of the co owners were considering the idea of laying run into slightly of their employees.\n\nBan on smoking trick name it eventide harder for bartenders to bear on with their business. The complaints about the smoking ban also threaten to puzzle out into the growing pains. Also, the city prides itself on the business leader to adjust to the far-reaching new law. The latest exhibit shows that many of the businesses are left un defileed. A completely issue is concerned with a number of rumors that sough in an environment.\n\nThe citys antismoking law raft be regarded as a new health initiative that is subjected to cheer restaurant and bar workers from being exposed to secondhand smoke. The pace has been complyed by an even tougher smoking ban.The city is known for re pealing its ban. Repealing the ban will dwell the main issue for quite a long time. A whole social function seemed not to propose much residual to the smokers and businesses who continue to commit the authorities for the sufferance of the law.\n\nA number of establishments are clear to serve alcohol, then receiving 127 applications from city businesses. The number of licenses that extradite been tending(p) by the pledge is report to purloin up to 106 during the travel month. The number of the foregoing month was about 75.\n\nHowever, the recent question showed that smoking ban did not contributed to the general job passage in the nutriment service and inebriety assiduity. The recent examine shows that many establishments are cutting punt shifts and absorb taxation redes. Also, quite a big number of restaurants and bars turn down to divulge their finances. A whole social occasion makes it difficult for such establishments to gauge the validness of their co mplaints.\n\nBan on smoking is a keen deal concerned with certain(p) state or city. The members of those cities and towns are able to enact their own stronger bans. When combined together, these bans prat lead to the states restrictions. some(a) of the states do not allow this innovation. The locality is not of all time associated with certain state laws. Often it is a matter for certain slate, city, country or even town. any exemptions that might be applied to a whole campaign will be negated by the state. The law is one of the strongest in the state. Local jurisdictions are able to roleplay changes into the whole expression making laws more attractive and restrictive.\n\n \n\n FACTORS THAT direct TO criminalise\n\nThe NYS restaurant experience is the tie-in that has helped push for a statewide ban. A whole involvement has been taken in order to train the vie field. The membership of this organization consists of owners o f larger restaurants. This group of raft has already been attained by bans. preferably of turn oning for their obligation to choose great deal are choosing to fight for their own backside dollar at the expense of the mamma n lead off style restaurants and bars.\n\nThe smoking ban is instead controversial issue. The explore showed that many of the race, who traditionally visit restaurants do not support smoking ban. fit in to a recent research, the ban on smoking is manifestly not good for business. Ban on smoking is hurt for customers. Restaurants have base prospects to benefit from smoking customers. The objective send away be achieved by invoking the level playing field. A whole affair means that everyone suffers the same. The above mentioned subject implies on the fact that cryptograph really wants a smoking ban.\n\n makeup to the NYS Restaurant Association will help the association to jibe aligning themselves with the enemy.The legislators tend to improve ban on smoking. The major educational activity against the bill is that it has been authorized without the public consent. The bill was by choice rammed out of nowhere with no time for fair public comment. (STATE-WIDE roll of tobacco BAN. Retrieved from http://www.nycclash.com/NYSban2003.html) \n\n \n\n ACTIONS AGAINST THE STATE BAN\n\nAny actions that were tell at NYC can be set forth as the ones that have been ostraciseed. The first boycott was reported to take place in Wednesdays March twenty-sixth NY. The bill has appeared in Fridays March twenty-eighth NY Post. A whole thing has been followed by a orthodontic braces of smaller follow up ads that were reported to appear in both papers.\n\nThis boycott is a thing that is not think to ultimately the people representing the hospitality fabrication. The boycott combines the people that are not workings in the hospitality industry. The b oycott has been nonionised by the people that represent the law and that were targeted against the other discussion section of the population. This boycott can be viewed as a statement that was negatively accepted by the major part of the people.\n\nBartenders portion against ban on smoking. The situation can be expound as mostly controversial. The managers of one of the restaurants reported constant loss of the customers of his company. After passing the bill the business has low prospects for the recovery. jibe to the words of the manager, he is constantly losing its customers. The business is reported to decrease sharply. The major land for that is the fact that the citys smoking ordinance went into effect.A whole thing was accompanied by a dramatic drop in sales.\n\nIn New York metropolis can be regarded as a partial smoke-free workplace law. The law went into effect in 1995. The situation has undergone some particular changes during 1993-1997. During those multiplicat ion restaurant duty growth in the city was more than three measure that of the rest of the state. New York City is also known for generating smoke-free law. This law has not had any substantive impact on dining out patterns among New York City diners. Studies of this earlier New York City smoke-free workplace law brought the following results: they showed that laws did not effect the wide variation in restaurant and hotel industry indicators thus do seasonal changes in the industry. As for peer-reviewed articles, these have brought the people to the oddment that the smoke-free law did not harm the citys restaurant industry. The affect on the hotel industry can be described as rather adverse.\n\nTo conclude, my idea that smoking ban would have rather negative effect on New York City area. The most sensitive businesses are restaurant and bar business who threat to lose a great number of its customers.If you want to get a integral essay, order it on our website: Looking for a place to buy a cheap paper online? Buy Paper Cheap - Premium quality cheap essays and affordable papers online. Buy cheap, high quality papers to impress your professors and pass your exams. Do it online right now! '

0 notes

junker-town · 7 years

Text

'The Bachelor' episode 8 (hometown dates!) recap: Shopping, four-wheeling, talking about race, and a nightmare in Canada

Why is this reality show making us feel things?

Sports Bachelor Nation! Welcome! Thank you for once again visiting the little corner of the internet where I get to pick apart other people’s dating decisions without looking inward at my own. They say you shouldn’t throw stones if you live in a glass house, but no one ever said anything about setting takes on fire when you live on the internet, so I’m going to keep typing these hot Bachelor blogs until they consume me.

Tonight’s episode should be especially en fuego. I haven’t been so excited for something on TV since Friends came back for its final season, because tonight is HOMETOWN DATES! Also known as “The One Where Shit Gets Real,” because it’s when four women get to take Nick home to meet their folks. Meeting the family is a big moment in any relationship, sure, but in Bachelor-land it’s an especially huge deal because it’s also a respite from the hostage situation the women have found themselves in all season. They can finally interact with people besides Nick, each other, and their jailers — The Bachelor production crew.

LET’S GO!

FOUR-WHEELING WITH RAVEN SOMEWHERE DEEP IN THE HEART OF ARKANSAS IN A TOWN CALLED HOXIE

When this date begins, the camera is zoomed in on a frog. I think it’s a bullfrog. This is supposed to symbolize the down-home nature of the country town where Raven is from. But I’m wondering if maybe Raven will kiss the frog and he’ll turn into a guy she can date whose personality isn’t made up of 70 percent Styrofoam.

Raven doesn’t kiss the frog, but she does roar onto the screen riding a four-wheeler. Nick looks like a real dweeb standing in a field as she pulls up to him on her jacked-up machine. She takes her helmet off and her long, dark hair cascades down her back.

I don’t know how Raven looks good doing this. If I were to take off a helmet, my hair would be all matted-down underneath it, I would be sweaty, and as I tried to look at him seductively the dude would be like, “Oooh, yeah, why don’t you just put that back on?”

"Don't kill me." - Nick#TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/Zi1MfMZrfl

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 21, 2017

Now Nick and Raven are climbing a water tower because we need to know that RAVEN IS A COUNTRY BADASS! The cops show up. The producers totally called the cops, didn’t they?

Yes, they did, because the cop is Raven’s brother. He’s all like, “Hah! You thought you were in trouble but you’re not, I’m her brother. What’s up, Nick?” This is garbage.

WAIT, HOLD THE PHONE, NICK AND RAVEN ARE HOOKING UP IN A SWAMP!?

Mud kiss! #TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/7QA750E9VN

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 21, 2017

Oh, my God. Is this a metaphor for Trump’s administration? Are we — draining — the swamp? Is this commentary on the need to protect our natural wetlands now that the EPA is run by someone who doesn’t believe in global warming? Help, I think I'm short-circuiting!

One thing’s for sure, however: This confirms my anti swamp-hook-up stance. You don’t want that dirty water getting in certain places. I’m also worried that these guys are going to catch swamp diseases. What’s a swamp disease you can get? Like, polio?

OK, swamp fever, sure.

MEETING RAVEN’S FAMILY

I’m crying. I’m not kidding, I’m actually crying. Raven’s parents just told her that while she’s been on the show, her father’s doctor has declared him cancer-free. I don’t like that The Bachelor is making me feel real feelings. I like when I get to just light my blogs on fire and toss them into cyberspace.

"I didn't expect to get emotional right off the bat...." It's okay, Raven. We're all emotional too. ♥#TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/V4roWPKDX8

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 21, 2017

Two thoughts:

You’d think maybe Raven could’ve gotten that news while she was cooped up in the Bachelor mansion rather than spending more weeks than she needed to thinking that her father was still sick. But I guess you pull no punches for great TV.

Nick’s response is, “That’s awesome.”

Raven and her dad are talking now. He’s telling her how relieved he is that he’ll be the one to walk her down the aisle rather than her brother or her uncle. She goes, “There is no other man who would walk me down the aisle. I would walk alone.”

I am crying again. I am also eating my feelings in the form of so, so many Swedish Fish.

Then Raven talks to her mom and her mom is like, “Can you say ‘I love you’ to Nick?”

Raven gets a little defensive. She’s like, (and I’m paraphrasing, here) “Ehhh, I think so? Yeah, I could. No, definitely I could. I totally could. I could love him. I love him, OK?”

Which doesn’t not sound like she’s trying to talk herself into it.

We cut to Raven’s dad and Nick. Raven’s dad is saying he didn’t think he’d like him but he does, in fact, like him. He says he could “live with that” if Nick ended up with his daughter. This isn’t a rousing endorsement, but it also isn’t the worst reaction to the news that your daughter might end up married to a 36-year-old handsome software salesman-turned-professional-Bachelor-goer-on-er.

Raven doesn’t tell Nick she loves him as she walks him to the black SUV waiting to whisk him away to the home of the next woman he is dating.

“It’s hard for me to say ‘I love you,’” Raven says, “Because I don’t want to be rejected. I don’t like to show my weakness at all.” I’m here for this. Being vulnerable is terrifying enough as it is, so I can only imagine that being vulnerable on national TV is even more so.

But Raven is also sneaky brilliant, because she’s playing hard to get: I’m starting to think that maybe she’ll win this show rather than Corinne, because she’s the only one playing her cards a little close to her chest. Everyone knows most men want what they aren’t sure they can get. Withholding is, therefore, a very clever strategy.

"It's just so hard for me to say I love you because I don’t want to be rejected and I don’t like to show my weakness at all.” -Raven http://pic.twitter.com/OB7EOFnxZr

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 21, 2017

Raven has also beaten a man over the head with a stiletto before, so I wouldn’t put anything past her.

GOING TO CHURCH WITH RACHEL IN TEXAS

We open on Rachel’s hometown date in Dallas with a shot of longhorn cows grazing under a highway underpass, because longhorns are the University of Texas mascot, and we are in Texas, remember? I bet the producers who had to go get cow footage just ended up on some random-ass road beneath a major interstate and were like, “Fuck it, these cows are fine, let’s film them so we can go to Whattaburger.”

Anyway, Nick says that his chemistry with Rachel is the most explosive chemistry he has with any of the women, but we already know Rachel is the next Bachelorette, so whatever.

"I'm so happy you're here!" - Rachel #TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/DUlbx16zk5

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 21, 2017

“We’re gonna do something you’ve never done before,” says Rachel, and I’m like, “What, successfully finish this show?” Zing.

Then Rachel takes Nick to her church, which is predominantly black. Nick loves it. In fact, Nick is showing a side of himself that we haven’t seen yet. He’s open, he’s joking, he’s — oh, God, he’s fun. I like this Nick. He says he feels more comfortable with himself when he’s with Rachel than with the other women.

“They made you feel welcome,” Rachel says of going to church. “You were great!”

And then Nick goes, “I’m not color blind.” And I fall off my bed.

In a world where we so regularly hear clueless white idiots go, “I don’t see color!” this is a very good thing to put on national TV. The bar shouldn’t be so low as to make me applaud when a white person says something that is baseline not-moronic about race, but it is, and here we are, so good on you, Nick, I guess.

MEETING RACHEL’S FAMILY

Nick, Rachel, and her family are joking around at dinner, talking about okra, and Nick teases Rachel that she’s a picky eater. It’s a small moment, but one that makes me realize these people kind of do get to know each other on this show in ways that we might not always see due to how it’s edited.

Rachel’s dad, who is a federal judge, is wisely not there for this. He has better things to do, like his job. Although Chris Harrison, who apparently keeps a blog (who among us?), said that Rachel’s dad did meet Nick off camera.

"They will love you!" ❤️#TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/wesnAvhUnF

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 21, 2017

Rachel’s older sister’s husband, who’s white, says, “I can’t help but notice you are a white.” He asks Nick if he’s dated a black woman before. Nick says he’s been on dates with black women, but never seriously dated one. He also says he realizes Rachel is black, but that he likes her for who she is as Rachel.

One of Rachel’s sisters says to the camera, “At the same time, as nice as that sounds, right now with this climate that we’re in, I feel like we’ve seen more racism come out, and he needs to be aware.”

To be serious for a second: I think this is the first time I’ve seen ABC devote time to a political reality outside of the bubble of their reality shows — someone on Twitter said that this episode was filmed the week after the election. Again, it’s a low bar that an honest conversation about race on The Bachelor has me flabbergasted, but it feels like a step in the right direction.

Nick tells Rachel’s mom how much he likes Rachel, and after making sure Nick is aware that race cannot be ignored, Rachel’s mom seems to be OK with him dating her daughter.

“It’s still a short time,” she says to Rachel, “But I like what I see with Nick. So far he seems comfortable. What attracted me to your dad was that he knew who he was and where he was going. He was very self-assured. Confident. And that’s what I see in Nick.”

“That’s a huge statement,” Rachel says to the camera. She is jazzed, and her smile makes me feel like maybe there’s some good left in the world.

"I'm blown away by that comment. That's a huge statement!" - Rachel#TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/ar6li1uhWD

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 21, 2017

Rachel's season of The Bachelorette is going to be the best thing that's ever happened to us.

CORINNE TAKES NICK SHOPPING AND DROPS A BUTTLOAD OF MONEY ON CLOTHING HIS SCULPTED ASS

Here it is. The moment we’ve all been waiting for: CORINNE TAKES NICK HOME TO MIAMI!

youtube

Obviously she takes him shopping. She’s friends with all the people in all the stores they go to, all of which are very fancy. Corinne spends the equivalent of a used car on clothes for both of them, and Nick is having a blast. He’s also very uncomfortable with the thousands of dollars she’s spending.

“I always thought I had expensive taste, and them I met Corinne,” he says.

"She wants to show me what an ordinary day looks like to Corinne, which is a very unordinary day to literally everyone else.” #TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/l0qZJOYcmx

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 21, 2017

Nick, once again, has a personality. He’s winning me over a little more this episode as he comes across as less white bread, more multi-grain toast.

“I love you,” Corinne says, and the way she says it reminds me of what getting my wisdom teeth out felt like.

MEETING CORINNE’S FAMLY

I really want to know what Corinne’s family does. It's Miami, so I've assumed they're jai alai tycoons, or own a factory that makes tiny drink umbrellas. I’m hoping they’ll tell us while we’re here.

Corinne opens the door and we’re greeted by her mom, Perry, her sister, Taylor, her dad, Jim, and — RAQUEL! Corinne’s nanny!*

"I don't want you to hurt her because she is like my daughter." -Raquel#TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/utoebwaNiA

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 21, 2017

*A few thoughts on Raquel’s role in this family. They say she’s a part of the family, but she pours them wine and does the dishes and generally seems more like a servant than anything else. I get that they’re close with her, and they call her Corinne’s “second mom,” but I can’t help feeling like the show has made her into a caricature of herself. A joke rather than a person. I don’t love that.

Corinne’s dad is a little concerned about Nick.

“What does he do?” he asks.

“He used to sell software,” Corrine tells him.

Corrine’s dad — who is wearing a gold chain underneath his very unbuttoned plaid shirt — is like, “uhhh...”

He makes a good point. What does Nick do? Is he just a professional Bachelor guy, now? Like, what’s his day-to-day going to be when this is over? Will he hit up Oracle and ask for a job? See if GoDaddy is hiring? Write a letter to Jeff Bezos and ask if Amazon needs him to sling some CD-ROMS? Or are they just grooming him to be the next Chris Harrison?

Anyway, Corinne’s dad appears to get over it, because he and Nick drink some 15-year-old single malt scotch together, Nick tells jokes, Corinne’s dad lets out a few wheezing laughs, and they just seem to be a couple of guys being guys, you know?

Corinne’s dad sings this to Nick:

youtube

Sorry. That’s a lie. He doesn’t. But that’s the sentiment he conveys when he delivers the line of the night to the camera:

“I got to know him a little better, and I said he’s a nice guy. I am so happy. I think Corinne is the lid to Nick’s pot.”

I have never heard that metaphor before but I’m obsessed with it. I’m also wondering whether I’ve historically been the pot or the lid in my relationships. I don’t know which is the better option.

Anyway, we’re about to leave Miami. Corinne says goodbye to Nick and talks about how she actually really likes him. I’m thrilled they’re letting Corinne become a little more three-dimensional; she’s showing a human side that goes beyond bouncy houses and signing her name on her American Express receipt, and I genuinely like it.

Side note: We never find out what Corinne’s family does and I am devastated.

MEETING VANESSA’S STUDENTS

We’re in Canada now. Montreal to be exact. Vanessa is introducing Nick to her special needs students, and I am very moved as they all meet him and give him hugs. They rejoice in seeing their teacher again.

One of my friends texts me that she feels like the producers are exploiting the students for this segment. I didn’t totally feel that way, but I’m willing to be wrong here, because I realize that everything on this show is, to some extent, exploitation. But I thought it was kind of sweet to involve them when Vanessa clearly means so much to them.

Vanessa loves you too! ...and so do we! ❤️#TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/Xex8OyRI0Z

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 21, 2017

NICK MEETS VANESSA’S MOM’S FAMILY AND IT’S AN ACTUAL TRAIN WRECK AND I CAN’T LOOK AWAY BUT — OH, GOD — THIS IS SO, SO BAD

Vanessa’s parents are divorced, so we meet her mom and her siblings first.

Things go poorly from the beginning. The family is asking Nick and Vanessa where they’d live after the show if Vanessa wins, and they’re both like, “We don’t know.”

It’s weird that Nick doesn't have charcoal stripes across his face because Vanessa's family is grilling him. They’re essentially like, “wow, you guys really haven’t talked about anything besides your feelings, have you?” And Vanessa is starting to get shook, because she’s like, “Uh, wow, no. We haven’t.”

Her sister and her mother are both like, “Girl, what you doing?” And then her mom says something very moving to the camera:

“I don’t want to go through [Vanessa getting her heart broken] again because it’s tough for me too.”

My mom texts me, “smart mom” as Vanessa’s mom speaks. Then she texts me, “The dog ate all the dental floss.”

Everyone is crying or very unhappy in Montreal. This is painful. But we’re off to meet Vanessa’s dad and his family, so maybe that’ll go better.

MEETING VANESSA’S DAD

It doesn’t.

“I just can’t give you my blessing just like this,” says Vanessa’s dad, when Nick is like, would it be cool if I maybe married your daughter if I don’t choose one of the other three women I’m dating? He doesn’t like that Nick also asked the families of other women if he could marry their daughters.

I’m of two minds about how badly things go in Canada. On the one hand, if your kid goes on this show, you kind of have to play along. One could make the argument that one can’t go on The Bachelor and then complain about the basic premise of The Bachelor. You could say that parents have to know what the basic premise is, too, and that if they had a problem with it, they maybe should’ve dealt with it before.

On the other hand, that’s kind of Bachelor gas-lighting, you know? It’s absurd to tell parents they should be cool with their child signing their fate over to some produced version of reality just because they “signed up for it.” To say hey, it doesn’t matter if your kid doesn’t know where she and her husband would live, or what kind of laundry detergent they both like, or what the husband will even do for a job once he’s no longer a professional reality TV star?

No. It does matter. And if Vanessa’s parents don’t want their daughter marrying Nick Viall, then they should damn well say so.

THE END OF THIS EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTING EPISODE

The episode wraps up at a hotel in NYC. Vanessa is crying a lot about the other women. I think she was way more invested in finding love, as opposed to building her #brand, because she seems pretty bummed that Nick hasn’t just scrapped the whole thing and chosen her already. She also has said multiple times that she went on this show for him once she knew he’d be The Bachelor.

We think Vanessa is going to talk to Nick, but, PLOT TWIST: it turns out that it’s Andi, the woman Nick was in love with the first time he was on The Bachelorette.

~*~*~And then the episode ends.~*~*~

A FEW THOUGHTS

I am sick of cliff-hanger endings.

I think Andi is a pump-fake. I think she’ll be like, “Just wanted to say hi, hope you’re well!” And Nick will be like, “Cool, it’s weird that you showed up.” Then she’ll leave and we’ll all move on.

I have changed my Corinne hypothesis and now I think Raven wins. She’s playing it the coolest, Corinne is 24 years old, Rachel is the next Bachelorette, and Vanessa is freaking out.

Hometown dates are always less about the show itself and more about parents who just want their kids to be happy. I hope their kids are happy, whether that comes in the form of a Bachelor-subsidized Neil Lane engagement ring or more Instagram followers than they had when they started the show.

I have eaten so many Swedish Fish over the course of writing this longer-than-usual recap that I think I’m going to die.

0 notes