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#today I learned just how fast she'll turn on me if I ever show signs of mental illness that aren't just being sad
sillynarcissist · 4 months
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I wish I could kill people who were boring or slightly irritating to me
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hot-wiings · 3 years
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The One Where [Y/N] [L/N] Can't Show Up To Her Toxic Family Dinner Alone, So She Turns To Her College Peer For Help.
Edited: 12-4-2020
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Once your college professor dismissed the class as over you were quick to open your phone and check your messages. Once unmuted, it vibrated and chimed a dozen times bombarding you. Messages from your mother overflowed your notification bar. You just didn't have the energy to deal with it right now. With a scowl, you set your phone back to mute mode and harshly shoved it into your backpack.
"Everything all right?"
Your chemistry partner was pilling books back into his backpack when he asked you the imposing question. He zipped the bag close, stood up, and turned to you, giving you a concerned look as he slung his backpack on his shoulder.
"I'm fine."
"We've been partners for nearly a year, I think I know you enough to know when you're not fine."
Your eyes glanced up at the white-haired man before glancing back at your lap. Your chemistry partner, Natsuo Todoroki, was a nice young man. Natsuo was funny and kind, he noticed when you were having a bad day, and he'd try to ease your troubles. Maybe that was why you often found yourself studying your partner more than your notes. Normally you'd relish under the gaze and attention of your charming, pretty partner, but today wasn't just one of those days.
"It's stupid. Like, really stupid, and unimportant."
"If it's bothering you then it's not stupid. C'mon, I'll buy you lunch and you can tell me all about your problem."
You huffed as you stood up and pulled your bag over your shoulder. You followed Natsuo to the cafeteria, while he walked off to get and pay for your lunches, you found some empty seats. Your leg bounced as you waited for him to come back. The idea of opening up about something so personal made you anxious.
"It's Soba Saturday."
"Thanks."
Natsuo took a seat across from you and smiled as you took a bite out of the food. Happy that you were happy with your food, Natsou digs into his own.
"So partner' what's up?"
"As I said, it's really, really, stupid."
"You're obviously worked up over it, it can't be that stupid."
You let out a ragged sigh as you took a delicate bite out of your food. Embarrassed, your eyes avoided him once you swallowed and set the fork down. Natsuo had shared so much with you as a friend and confidant, you knew about his family, every nitty-gritty detail, but you opened so little in return.
"My mom texted me asking if I was bringing a date home for Christmas. My parents... They're pretentious and rich, you know? Marrying, and settling down, becoming a house mouse while my husband takes over the family business. That's the future they want for me."
You clenched your fists just getting aggravated thinking about it. The toxicity was hard and you were trying your best to escape it, but you could only flee so much when you were poor without your parents. Natsuo reached across the table and grabbed your hands, pulling them into his cold ones.
"I know if I show up alone my mom's gonna get in my business, then she'll try setting me up with rich men she thinks are suitable. I just- I can't do another family Christmas alone."
"I understand what you mean. I told you how my dad's a bastard, he's tried setting me and my sister up with suitable people before, never works out, just makes us hate him. I don't even wanna go home for Christmas this year, so... I have a proposition."
"I'd love to hear it."
"I'll go with you."
His voice came out quick and fast, almost making him sound nervous, but Natsuo didn't get nervous, it wasn't a Todoroki trait. You look up from your lap to his eyes. A small smile formed on your face as he proposed the statement. You let out a chuckle as a light blush brushed your face.
"You wanna be my date?"
"We don't have to go like that, we can fake date. Think about it, you need a rich, suitable guy to show up with you. You need me. Someone to convince your pretentious parents you're ready to settle down, and, I, can get out of my own family Christmas and obligations to see the bastard man."
"Fake dating... Fake dating and convincing my parents that we're in love. That's a lot to deal with, you're sure your up for it?"
"Yeah, you might say... We already have some chemistry together."
You laughed as that feeling bubbled up in your chest. That feeling you got whenever you were around your partner, your lab partner. It was stupid, so stupid. The idea of fake dating him bubbled you, even if it was fake, the idea that he got to be your boyfriend for an evening or two excited you.
"Okay, you dork, it's settled. You're my fake boyfriend."
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Your leg bounced rigorously as the car drove on the road. You watched the road signs, anxiously noting how far away from your home you were each time a new one appeared. You lived a couple of hours out from the city you and Natsuo attended college in. Coming from a rich family, you and Natsuo probably would've attended the same social circles and school had you not grew up so far away.
Your thumb tapped away at your leg as Christmas music blared through the radio. Your whole body screamed anxious and distressed. Now that you've had time to brew and process the deal you and Natsuo made you regretted it. What were you thinking, taking your lab partner, who was also your crush, on an overnight trip as your fake boyfriend? It was just going to cause you trouble.
You had feelings for him and your family was toxic. The idea of letting him in was disturbing. It was your home where you grew up, the place you learned to hate yourself, the place that taught you to be closed off, and mean. He'll meet your mom, your dad, and your godawful siblings. He'll see how horrible your family is, and the idea of letting him see the environment you grew up in was so daunting.
What if he decided you were awful too? What if he changes lab partners?
"We're here."
"Great."
Your voice came out placid and tight. Your nervousness and exhaustion could be heard in your voice. Emotions brought out every time you saw your family, he mistook it as nerves brought on by the fear of fake dating.
"We should probably lie down some rules."
"Yeah, I've never fake dated before. I don’t know what you're uncomfortable with, but no kissing on the lips."
Natsuo pulled his keys out of the engine ignition and pocketed them while he lightly laughed at your proposed rule. Heat rose to your cheeks as his voice met your ears.  
"We're supposed to convince them we're in love, but I can't kiss your lips?"
"I know it's silly, but to me it's romantic and I’d like to keep this professional. Besides, you still have my cheek, hand, nose, and forehead."
“I see your points, if it makes you feel more comfortable then lips are off-limits.”
You let out a relieved sigh. You weren't sure you'd handle kissing Natsuo. It was too personal, too romantic. The more you progressed on this endeavor the more you worried. Your parents were gonna know, they were gonna know. 
"No kissing your lips, what about hand-holding?"
"We can hold hands, hug, anything a couple would do, just no sex or kissing."
"Two days, as a handholding loving boyfriend. Let's do this."
Natsuo got out of the car and while you zipped up your coat and fixed your scarf he rushed to the other side of the car and opened your door before you got the chance. His cold hand was on your hand pulling you out of the car, he smiled softly at you as he helped you out.
“Thanks, you didn't have to do that.”
“I wanted to, I'm your boyfriend after all.”
You pushed a piece of hair behind your ear as a light blush spread across your skin. Never had you been more thankful for the cold air for you had been able to play your pink cheeks off as an effect of the cold weather and not his words. 
“You go in, I’ll get our bag.”
“You sure?”
You nibbled on your lip as Natsuo walked away from you. He turned to you with an ever-growing smile present as he winked. 
“Yeah, I'm a good boyfriend aren't I?”
“The sweetest ever. See you inside.”
You made your way to the door and gave the heavy wooden door a hard knock. It wasn't long until one of the servants opened the door. The head butler, Godwin, opened the door and threw you a gracious smile before pulling you into a hug. 
“Welcome back, [Y/N].”
In your time living here as a child, Godwin spent a lot of time with you. It was his job to watch over you and your siblings along with the other staff members when your parents were gone, which was often. He was the one who taught you to be kinder and nicer, more humble than your other siblings. He was the one who encouraged you to go to college despite your parents raising you to live in a world with their racist, sexist ideals. 
“It’s good to see you, Godwin.” 
Your mother came down the stairs with her overly expensive Christmas dress flowing with her. She looked like the average rich person trying to show off her money. Pearls, diamonds, and obvious plastic surgery. Your father followed behind her, adorning an expensive tailored suit and a matching tie, no doubt your mother's idea to make it seem like they had a perfect marriage to their guests when it, in fact, was not. 
“Oh, [F/N], you're here!”
She walked up to you and awkwardly wrapped her arms around your body. It was weird and awkward. Your mother didn't like giving affection out to her children, or really anyone. Now that you were older, you didn't crave the attention from her. Your father didn't even attempt to greet you. 
“I thought you said you were bringing a guest, Oh I knew you were lying. Lucky for you I thought ahead and arranged for one of your father's friends to come over as your date for the evening.”
“Mother, anyone friends with father is going to be way too old to be a date for me, besides that fact, I did bring a date.” 
“Oh, don’t be embarrassed to ask your mother for help, I did give birth to you after all.”
She sneered her words at you. This was a classical move of your mothers because she gave birth to you then that must mean she knows you better than anyone else, she also used it in the stance that you owed it to her to do what she wanted.
“You’ll love him. He's the owner of a multimillion-dollar company, he's rich, and his wife just died! You’ve been single for so long, you need a man to take care of you”-
Your mother is cut off by the sound of Natsuo walking in with your bag and slamming the door shut, trying to keep the cold out. Considering it was an overnight trip, you thought sharing a bag might make you look more intimate and close. 
“Sorry I took so long babe, I didn't zip the bag all the way closed and it opened on the ride here, I had to put everything back in it.”
“Mother, father, this is my boyfriend.” 
Natsuo dropped your bag on the floor and shook your parent's hands starting with your father, and then your mother next, respectfully the way you shook hands with the rich. You supposed growing up as a Todoroki he had to learn these tricks and rules the same way you did. 
“Natsuo Todoroki, nice to meet you, sir, ma’am.”
“Oh wow, Todoroki? Like the hero family Todoroki?”
“Yes, ma’am... Endeavor is my father.”
You could tell by Natsuo's stance that he was uncomfortable with the way your mother was asking about his social status and checking him out with a tight fake smile on her face.
“Yes, I remember now, I saw your family on the news. How did you snag this one [Y/N]? A Todoroki, I'm impressed, then again... He is the brother who chose not to follow the life of a hero.”
You both ignored your mother's catty comment as Natsuo grabbed your hand and pulled you against his side. He kissed your cheek, eliciting a light blush for the second time that day, however, your mother's focus was on your 'boyfriend', and his focus was on your mother. 
“Feels more like I'm the one who snagged her.”
“Well, you must tell us how you met. Goodwin! Take their bag up to [Y/N]'s room!” 
You rolled your eyes as she yells at the butler. You'd think after years of working for her she would've remembered his name, but she didn't.
“Godwin, we can take our bag up, we need to change into our dress clothes anyway. Mother, you really should remember the names of your staff.”
“They're just the help, details like their names don't matter. Ever since you went off to that school it's put silly ideas in your head. Natsuo don't be afraid to remind her who's boss, she might try to force those ridiculous relationship norms on you.”
The comment comes from your father who had been mostly silent throughout the whole conversation. The comment comes from your father and it didn't sit well with Natsuo. As your father laughs at what he said, Natsuo picks your bag up and chuckles at him. 
“Oh, [Y/N] and I both know who the boss of this relationship is. [Y/N] attends more classes than me, so I always make sure the apartment is clean, and food is ready on the table for her. It's only fair, I wouldn't want her to think these ridiculous relationship norms where the woman cooks and cleans and the man provides is right.”
Before your father gets another word in edgewise, Natsuo pulls you along with him to the staircase, letting you guide him to your bedroom with appeased smiles on your faces. You pushed the door open and let Natsuo in before closing it and locking it. You flopped over on the bed, and he followed suit before taking a look at your room. It was the same as always, the way you left it after high school, never changing except for when little things got moved around for dusting and vacuuming by Godwin. 
“So... What'd you think of my parents?”
“They’re... interesting?”
There were a wide variety of choice words Natsuo wanted to use. He did not like your parents, and it bothered him knowing that you grew up being raised with such ideals. Natsuo might have had a bastard for a father, his father might have hurt his mom, and his family in more ways than one, but his father never once told Fuyumi that she couldn't pursue her dreams. He never once told Fuyumi that she had to follow old gender norms, never once was Fuyumi taught to layover for a man.
"It's okay, you can say it. They're good awful."
"I didn't want to upset you or offend, but my father literally drove my mom insane, he gave her a mental illness and he's nice compared to them."
"Just wait until you meet my siblings."
You let out a laugh as your fingers played with the blanket on the bed. Your hands were so close. It was sweet to him, the sound of your voice. He'd never admit out loud, but he was so in love with you. Ever since he first laid eyes on you in chemistry class. Ever since you sat down next to him and introduced yourself, ever since you accidentally blew up your first experiment. Ever since you kept apologising for catching him on fire, you hadn't a clue who he was, or who his father was. You were normal with him. Every little thing you did lead up to his feelings for you. Every little thing you did added to the strong feelings had had, like a brick house.
To the naked eye, Natsuo was a desirable man. He was rich, filthy rich, and he had that Todoroki charm. Everyone wanted him for his status or his looks. They didn't know him, the real him, him with an abusive father and fucked up family. For all those reasons, Natsuo always thought that you wouldn't want to be with a boy like him. Someone who came from such a broken background, someone so weak, unable to stand up to his father. Guys like him never got the girl, at least not the girl that he wanted but Natsuo also never imagined that you came from a background similar to his. It was so ethereal and special to be here with you, to be the one you were opening up to, even if it was a fake relationship, Natsuo was trying desperately to shoot his shot.
"You're so strong, you know that? Your parents raised you with these unrealistic standards on how you should act, but you're in college, you're pursuing your dreams. You're amazing."
Natsuo's hand reached out and grabbed yours, his cold one in yours soliciting goosebumps and a little shiver. You quickly tried to pull your and out of his and stood up to make it look like you weren't trying to avoid skin contact with him.
"Thanks, Natsuo... You're amazing too, I mean hello, they way you subtly told my father to shove his marriage ideals? It was hilarious, he was not expecting that."
You looked away from Natsou to hide the blush in your cheeks, you were thankful for the way he stood up to your father for you. You could never have done that in a million years.
"Anyway, we should probably get dressed, and go down before my mother thinks we've started having sex. You can get dressed in here and I'll go to the bathroom, just knock when it's safe for me to come out."
You grabbed your dress out of the bag and scurried into the bathroom. You started with makeup, then you reapplied your deodorant. You were so nervous that your family would see right through your lie. After taking a few deep breaths you heard Natsuo's knock so you quickly unzipped your silk, baby blue dress and pulled it up to your body. Nervously, you popped your head out the door and bit your lip.
"Can you... Can you zip me up?"
"Sure!"
You let the door open more and pulled the front of your dress tight against your body, worried and nervous to be partially naked in front of him. Natsuo sauntered into the bathroom and zipped the back of your dress up. His cold hands glide up your back and then fell down on your hips. It made you shiver again before throwing him a grateful smile.
"Thanks."
"No problem, you look beautiful."
You looked in the mirror at the two of you together. This time as the blush rose to your cheeks you didn't have the cold to blame or the ability to turn around and hide your face.
"Ready to meet the rest of the snake nest?"
"I survived your parents, I think I can handle your siblings."
Arm in arm looped together you made your way downstairs and into the entertainment room with Natsuo. Your siblings were sitting on the couch, but once you walked in their eyes struck you. They heard you brought a date and they wanted to check him out. Their eyes glazed over him some of them in interest, some in disinterest. All judging.
"I heard you brought a boy, didn't believe it."
The comment comes from your older sister. Her voice was full of disdain and disinterest, undoubtedly ready to leave.
"Yeah, mother said you brought a boy, didn't think he'd be so hot."
Natsou coughs uncomfortably as you showed a tight, fake smile to your sister. You couldn't lie, it hurt that your younger sister would so blatantly flirt with your boyfriend upon meeting him, whether he be fake or not.
"Don't be such a slut, [Sisters Name]. That's your sister's boyfriend."
Your older brother scolded his youngest sister for her lustful behavior and she rolls her eyes before she crosses her arms in a pout. Your brother was the nicest out of all your siblings. He was nice to you and your siblings in his own way, protective of his younger siblings, constantly scolding and trying to keep you all in place. That didn't mean he couldn't be a snake, he could just tolerate you and your siblings more.
"Besides, he's not all that hot."
"Oh he totally is, it's seriously a wonder how [Y/N] got him."
You brought Natsuo over to the couch and sat down next to him. You even made sure to sit close to him, close enough so you could lean into each other like a cute couple.
"I think I prefer your parents."
His words whispered in your ear earning a light chuckle from you. Your sister, the younger one, evidently didn't like how close you both were. With a harsh glare, she rolled her eyes again.
"How did you even meet? Seriously, I wanna know why he would downgrade to someone like you."
Natsuo scratched the back of his head awkwardly and nervously He didn't understand why your siblings were so mean to you. His father was a bastard, that closed you off, that he could get. Despite that, he and his siblings never put each other down like they were doing.
"More like she downgraded to me. We met in school, lab partners. She had all the boys chasing for her in school, but somehow she chose me."
Your sister scoffed and this time you rolled your eyes. She always gave you such shit over the littlest things. You didn't have the energy for this, at least not sober. You whispered into Natsuo's ear softly.
"I need a drink, you want one? We'll need it to get through the evening."
"If your alcohol mixing skills are anything like your chemistry mixing skills, then no."
"Meanie, I'm a great chemist, I practically carry our grade."
Natsuo chuckled against your cheek, before pulling back and kissing it. Again, a blush adorned your cheek with no way to hide it. It was brief and quick, but his cold lips ghosted against your cheek. All you could do was abruptly stand up with a smile on your face.
"I'm gonna go find an alcoholic beverage. I'll be right back, play nice with him."
Natsuo watched helplessly as you walked off into the distance. He sat there quietly, patiently waiting for you to come back. Natsuo was such a cool, calm collected guy, but alone with your siblings, he felt nervous. Seeing the way they acted with you gave him a bad impression of them, but he has to play nice because he was your boyfriend.
"You know, an alcoholic drink does sound great."
Your older sister stood up from the couch and walked off in the same direction as you did, the kitchen presumably, to make herself a drink as well. Soon, your brother left the room as well, your little sister bit her lip as she watched your brother walk off in the direction of the bathroom. She was quick to stand and in the place you once held occupied.
"My sister said play nice, but I'd rather play rough."
She slid her hand over his thigh and inched it closer to his crotch while she smiled up at him, nibbling on her lip.
"What are you doing? I'm here with your sister, I'm her boyfriend."
"Ugh, what do you even see in her? She's not even pretty."
Before Natsou could reply, before he could defend you, your sister climbed across his lip and planted her lips against his. He wasn't kissing her back, but with her on top of him, her pressing her face against his, and her fingers deeply gripping his clothes it was difficult to get her off of him. He wasn't kissing back, he was trying to push her off but as you walked up with two margaritas in hand all you saw was your fake boyfriend kissing your sister.
It hurt. It shouldn't have, but it hurt. He wasn't yours, not really. He was just your lap partner, your friend. He wasn't your boyfriend, you were just fake dating. He wasn't yours. He wasn't yours, but it hurt to see your sister all over him. He wasn't yours, but for the night he was supposed to be. He wasn't yours but for the sake of your lie you did what any girl would do after finding her boyfriend cheating on her: You dumped your margarita down the skank.
"[Brothers Name] is right, you are a slut! And you- you-"
As your sister pulled herself off of Natsuo she looked up at you shocked with alcohol dripping down her body, you ignored her and turned your attention to Natsou. Your eyes were blurry but you had to will yourself not to cry.
"I don't need you here. You can just leave."
You didn't wait for Natsou to get up and leaves nor did you want for him to talk and explain anything to you. You simply took off in the direction of your bedroom, slamming the door behind you. Natsuo quickly jumped up on his feet and took off in the direction of your bedroom. He didn't knock, he didn't wait for permission, he just busted in and ran over to you.
"If you want to make out with my sister, that's fine. I get it, she's pretty, she's hot, she's better than me. She's everything you'd want, but you were supposed to be here with me! You were supposed to be here as my boyfriend! My parents were supposed to think we're in love. You were supposed to be mine, I don't care if it's fake, you cheated with my sister!"
The tears were leaking down your cheeks as you yelled at him. No words could pass Natsuo's lips, no matter how hard he tried. They couldn't. Seeing your tears, a product of him hurt. It hurt. He hurt you. He was trying his best to shoot his shot, he was trying to subtly woo you.
"Your sister came on to me, I tried pushing her away. She's really is a snake, you said it yourself!"
You still sniffled as you nodded at him. He was right, you had said that. He was right, she is a snake and this is exactly what she would do just to screw with your life.
"I'm sorry, your right. I shouldn't have acted like that, you're not actually mine. Natsuo, I do need you, I need you here."
"What if I wanted you to really be mine?"
You sniffling stopped as Natsuo took closer steps to you. He placed his hands on your cheeks and pulled your lips against his. This was different from earlier. The kiss wasn't quick, it was long. It was long and passionate, yet cold. Despite your shivers, you found yourself leaning into him, into the kiss.
"You- You can't do that, it's against the rules."
"Screw the rules. I just- I wish you needed me every night of the year, not just Christmas."
Natsuo ran his hands through his hair nervously. He thought speaking against your father and defending you against your sister was enough to get his point across. This idea of verbally speaking it, it scared him. This was uncharted territory for him.
"I want you [Y/N]. I want you every day of the year. I want to kiss you on the lips, I want to hold hands, I want dates and hugs. I want more than chemistry class and Christmas gatherings."
"Then you can have me! Have me every day of the year. Be mine, every day of the year. Take me on a date, hold my hand, kiss my lips!"
Natsuo pulled you against him and your face collided with his chest. You buried your face in his chest as your arms wrapped around his body and a smile formed.
"Let's not fake date, be my actual girlfriend."
You leaned up and left a quick chaste kiss on Natsuo's lips with a smile.
"I don't want anyone else to be my actual boyfriend, I suppose you might say we chemistry."
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