#to patriarchal standards or not

[batrachised]

passages from the "The House that Belongs to me": The Appropriation of Patriarchal Space in L.M. Montgomery's Emily Trilogy that I found interesting

#lm montgomery #lm montgomery and gender #emily of new moon #i learned from this article that emily marrying teddy is the subject of much debate among scholars - whether it's her capitulating #to patriarchal standards or not #dean priest

[makiruz]

TERFs do not believe in consent, they believe that there are good choices and bad choices; if a woman does something they consider "bad" even if it literally harms no one, then she was forced into it by patriarchy; if she says that she likes it, she was brainwashed into thinking she likes it, deep down she hates it; only the "good" choices are made freely and with full consent

The bad choices can be anything from wanting to be homemaker, engaging in kink, wearing femme clothing, being promiscuous, getting unnecessary cosmetic surgery, having sex with men, etc, etc

This btw extends to trans men, who they believe to be self-hating women; but not to trans women who they believe to be evil men out to rape women

#rants #TERFs #consent #cw rape mention #btw I hate cosmetic surgery for the purpose of adhering to patriarchal beauty standards #but I do not believe women who get it are brainwashed victims of patriarchy #I disagree with their choices but I recognize it's their choice

[bandtrees]

Annoying fandom people when you tell them characters do things based on writers’ decisions and biases and are not fully autonomous sapient beings they’re watching in a terrarium

#babbles #this is in general an ideal i hold very close in fandom stuff but like especially abt wc cuz that fandom sucks with this #i hate warriors fans so much it’s unreal. it’s not ‘these writers have weird ideas about what is romantic’ but ‘this character is toxic!!1’ #boiling down what can be a meaningful discussion about abuse and patriarchal standards into a purely blorbobrained character argument #about in universe traits like these characters are real and we need to give them counseling #because having the 500th soapbox about bramblestar or nightheart or whoever being abusive makes you feel progressive #like. i'd love to discuss for instance the misogynistic standards that the erins have as writers and how that affects their work. #i dont however care to discuss which Fictional Cat For Ten Year Olds is the most Problematic. bc that does nothing #reminds me of that tweet abt like the fatphobic trope of chars being depressed or hitting a low point and being fat slobs #and ppl came in waves like 'no it makes sense because he was depressed and xyz etc etc' like we're discussing a real person #and not constructs made by writers that show fatphobic ideologies. missed the point so hard dude. #less 'character does this' more 'writer made the character do this'. not even in criticism but in discussing themes etc etc

[yesterdayiwrote]

Hmm... so Susie Wolff got an urgent investigation launched into her with no prior communication before it was announced to the public based on one spurious tabloid article that brought her name into disrepute, but for the guy who's been subject to a serious legal investigation for sexual and non-sexual impropriety and is now the subject of dossiers of information being circulated to paddock pass holders that is over shadowing the start of the season, and damaging the sport and its reputation... they're just going to sit down, have a chat with him in private and just... wait and see?

Well that all seems above board and in no way horrifically misogynistic and contributory to patriarchal double standards....

#f1 #formula 1 #Our expectations were low but holy shit #FIA not even trying to hide their patriarchal standards any more #This whole sport is a fucking mess #Rotten from the top to the bottom really #You're not jumping the gun at this point you're practically sleeping in a nuclear explosion

[balkanradfem]

woman: /disagrees with something a m*n says

everyone: not only is she hysterical, insane, wrong, crazy, evil, selfish and cruel, but she deserves to be mass bullied, persecuted, tortured and violated in every possible way for what she’s done, she needs to face the Consequences!!!

m*n: /physically tortures a woman in the most intimate and traumatic way possible

everyone: well, punishing him would set up a dangerous precedent that rape of women is suddenly wrong, also it would hurt his career prospects, and anyway boys will be boys lets forgive him instantly and focus on what that woman might have done to bring this on herself!!

#double standards #radical feminism #punishing women for resisting oppression #punishing women for whatever m*n do to them #rape mention #tw rape mention #torture of women #traumatizing women and getting away with it #gross shit #patriarchal society #rape culture

[bookshelfdreams]

.

#just saw that tweet abt pink days on the set of the barbie movie & i think it made me realize why it - the marketing etc - annoys me so #'margot robbie went around collecting fines and donated them to charity haha' okay. look. #that's just the perfect metaphor for how it worked for us - me - anyone who wants to align themselves with me - when we were girls #isn't it #because you grow up and you desperately want to fit in with the other girls but you don't & you don't know why #but you're surrounded by things and people telling you what a normal girl is like & little-to-none of it is things you find appealing or #interesting. makeup and fashion and skin care. gymnastics and romance. you're told that you are obligated to be pretty #but prettiness has never been part of your perception of yourself. femininity is an arcane concept #an exclusive club that will never grant you entrance #& the only comfort you can give yourself is deciding that it's dumb anyway. shallow. vain. who cares about looks and boys and all of that #idiots that's who #but this is Doing It Wrong too isn't it? because now everyone who has taught you that you will forever fail at femininity turns around #& tells you that's patriarchal oppression and YOU'RE the bad one by distancing yourself from something that always made you feel defective #'YOU may have never lived up to this impossible standard of perfection but some ppl do and actually it's fine to be like that! #hyperfeminine traditionally beautiful women are the most oppressed group of all & finally we will stand up for our rights!' #'girls can be pretty AND conpetent' but that's not what they're actually saying. isn't it. #because performing femininity correctly is the prerequisite. a threshold you can never cross and you know that. & that's fine #but somehow that's wrong too because you're not supposed to make peace w that are you. you're SUPPOSED to want to do it right #even if you don't and never have and never will #and once again everyone is yelling at you that this club isn't meant for you. if you criticize the barbie movie you're antifeminist #if you refuse to wear pink I'll make you pay a fine #hashtag girlpower #(well im not a girl. not a guy either. and not a secret third thing. just bad at femininity. #bad at being a person. and y'all don't need to tell me you don't want me in your club #I've always known that. i just wish you'd stop expecting me to beg for entrance.)

[miiju86]

Artist: Lainey Molnar | Instagram: (@)lainey.molnar

#lainey molnar #comic strips #illustration #feminist memes #feminist comics #double standards #misogyny #patriarchal culture #patriarchy #systemic misogyny #memes #radfem memes #purity culture #male chauvinism #male hypocrisy #male entitlement #female dehumanization #female reality #female objectification

[fromtheseventhhell]

I don't think y'all realize (or care) how much your definition of feminity/womanhood is rooted in white supremacy and how that negatively impacts BIWOC

#Black indigenous women of color for the uniformed #not even just the patriarchy straight white supremacist standards that were built around excluding women of color #woc are so masculinized / young woc are so adultified and both age groups are extremely dehumanized #violence against us is so normalized and never given the same weight as violence against white women #doubly so for queer/trans bipoc and femmes #this is why I'm never going to take /feminists/ who center patriarchal/white standards seriously #you are not for women you are for protecting and representing your personal state of womanhood

[steadfastgirl]

the girl i had a situationship with throughout high school is now a christian influencer and anti language inclusivity activist 😵‍💫

#language inclusivity is a current linguistic debate in serbian #about making feminine forms of nouns depicting various jobs #bc serbian is a gendered language and the standard form is masculine #many right wingers are vocally against it #even the patriarch of the serbian orthodox church is calling it “rape of language”

[fiapple]

repeat after me: if you are the descendent of colonizers living on stolen land, you do not get to judge the methods of decolonial resistance movements.

#this isn’t in relation to the last reblog itself it just reminded me of something #thoughts #sarahofmagdelene has some good shorts about this on insta though #like specifically abt how it relates to white feminism + patriarchal notions of (white) womanhood #the skinny of it being that white women tend to impose the standards of white womenhood laid out by white patriarchy onto those who they ar #*womanhood #(​sorry all over the place today) #complicit in the oppression of with the added specifically racialized view of violent resistance through the lens of various savage tropes #have to get a copy of her book after the strike tbh #but yeah i think a lot about this in congruence with how authoritarianism is such a deeply engrained aspect of whiteness & how that itself #contributes to the attitudes being discussed here being so prevalent even among my fellow white people who consider themselves leftist or #progressive (& how that relates to how many white people are liberals/neoliberals posing as being farther left than they are) #but if we were to relate this specifically to the last reblog i would like to point out that another part of that is the whiteness frames #good & bad as an immutable either/or binary & the way super fucked up notions of purity play into whiteness #which (not an excuse absolutely not acting like this is still 100000% white supremacist at its core) is what leads my fellow white people t #be so fearful of having current or past wrong doings pointed out as such & why so many are more concerned with being seen as racist than w #the actual racism they perpetuate/garner privilege from #because that means being horrible with no chance of change (thoug oppressed ppl do 100% hold the right to view their oppressors as such #the white guilt this often leads to when self imposed is what leads to attitudes like the article from the last post describes) #(& so the difference of perspective in the oppressed feeling that way & the oppressor using it to self flagellate is v important here) #& all of this is ultimately rooted in the carcerality inherent to whiteness as a social construct #both in terms of the far worse tangible violence imposed upon poc (particularly black people & fn ppl here in canada) & the carceral view o #morality white “culture” imposes upon those white people who are unwilling to fully do the work to divest from whiteness #hope this is coherent #also if any of this is out of line plz lmk #but basically to cut to the chase power (& as a result empowerment of the oppressed) viewed through the lens whiteness has set for it will #always be fucked up & lead to completely racist conclusions about liberation movements for poc #& the reason i mention this in relation to decolonial movements specifically is due to whiteness being an inherently colonial construct it’ #*itself #racism

[apostate-in-an-alcove]

I see those cringe and very shallow articles and videos about what (typically cishet) men find attractive in (typically cishet) women and immediately start making note of what i can do to be the exact opposite of those things.

#oh what? you don't like women who are hairy? good thing im keeping my leg and armpit hair #women don't exist to be appealing to men #i don't need male validation #its worthless #I'm petty and refuse to centre men in my life #a lot of the stuff they list is usually rooted in patriarchal standards anyway #no thanks #told you guys im entering my man hater era #i wasnt joking

[clarabow-mp3]

"girlsplaining" and bimbo "feminism" is giving very much daisy buchanan "that's the best thing a girl in this world can be a beautiful little fool" energy.

#ykwim #self-aware enough to realise that quality of life for women who don't conform to patriarchal standards is worse #but instead of like. attempting to take down the patriarchy they've decided to just follow those standards #bc they think they personally won't be harmed if they pretty and they just don't think about the problems in society #if i don't see it it doesnt exist if men don't treat me with disgust for not wearing makeup then i never have to feel bad about my bare skin #if i never travel past the valley of ashes i never have to confront the fact that people live in poverty and my husband is cheating on me

[hattafan2593]

Helluva Boss: The Circus - Alternate Ending

So I noticed that a lot of people really don't like the way Stella is characterized in Season 2. I personally have no problem with her characterization - sometimes people are just assholes. No tragic backstory. No motive. And honestly, she's just so cartoonishly evil that I can't help but love to hate her. That said, I do see where people are coming from, and it does kind of downplay some of Stolas' flaws and portrays him more sympathetically than he actually is. While I do believe Stolas is sympathetic, and I want him to improve and grow as a person, it doesn't change the fact that his relationship with Blitzo is still mega toxic, that Stolas is a member of a privileged class with little knowledge or empathy for those below him, or that he spent the entire first season doing as he pleased with little to no regard for how his actions affected those around him, including his own family.

So, without further ado, here's my attempt at a more nuanced look at Stella and Stolas' relationship, via an alternate ending to Season 2, Episode 1 - The Circus. Enjoy.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

STELLA: The fuck are you doing?

STOLAS: Reflecting.

STELLA: Well, keep it down. Via's in her room, and I suspect she's trying to sleep. (Turns to walk back inside)

STOLAS: ...Why are you still here?

STELLA: (Stops, irritated) What?

STOLAS: Why are you still here? You leave with Via on weekends but then stay around the house despite everything.

STELLA: I live here, too, Stolas, last I checked. And unlike some people, I don't run away from my responsibilities.

STOLAS: Oh yes, I can see just how busy you've been. Between the shopping trips and gossiping with your girlfriends. Truly, how do you find the time to even breathe?

(Stella stomps over to Stolas, shoving a finger in his face)

STELLA: You have some fucking gall, speaking to me like that! After what you did-

STOLAS: I KNOW WHAT I DID!

(Stella steps back, stunned. Stolas runs a hand over his face.)

STOLAS: I would feel bad if I had hurt you, but we both know I didn't do that!

STELLA: You dare-

STOLAS: Oh, come on, Stella! There was never any love between us! You and I were arranged for one reason - to birth a precautionary heir to the Goetia family, nothing more!

STELLA: Yes, Stolas. I am perfectly aware of my status as a brood mare, thank you for reminding me.

STOLAS: (sighs) I tried, Stella. I know I was and am far from perfect but I did try, for so many years. To make things comfortable for us, to have this family, but it was never enough.

(Stella rolls her eyes and shakes her head. Stolas continues.)

STOLAS: The only reason I have endured your constant insults and cruelty is so that girl can have a normal life!

(Stella starts cackling)

STOLAS: What is so funny?

STELLA: Cruelty? You think what I've done is cruelty?

(Stolas puffs up in indignation, but starts backing away as Stella stomps up to him, getting in his face.)

STELLA: You spoiled, overgrown child! You don't know what cruelty is! And what's this tripe about "a normal life?" Normal? By Satan, have you always been this delusional?!

(Stella steps back, throws out her arms for emphasis.)

STELLA: Newsflash, husband! Octavia is a Goetia! She is never going to have a normal life! No matter how she acts or how she dresses, she will always have royal blood in her veins! Nothing you or I do will ever change that, and the denizens of Hell are certainly not going to let her forget it! Especially not after this latest spectacle of yours!

(Stolas' face becomes horrified - his eyes turn to pinpricks)

STOLAS: ...what?

STELLA: (exasperated) You were seen publicly, Stolas! In a goddamned sex club, with an imp! Did you really think word wouldn't spread?! (puts her hands on her hips) And who do you think has had to deal with the fallout of your little dalliances? Who do you think has to deal with the gossip, the rumors, the contempt? Here's a hint - it's not you!

(Stolas flinches back slightly.)

STELLA: (shaking her head, bitterly) Men like you and my brother are all the same. You do as you please with no thought or care to how your actions affect others. And meanwhile, women like me have to deal with fake sympathy and speculation from the masses over how we are such failures as wives that our husband find the company of peasants more appealing.

(Stolas is stunned silent. Stella turns away from him, her arms folded.)

STELLA: I don't expect you to love me, Stolas. Or even like me. But whether you like it or not, we are married. And at the bare minimum, I expect some modicum of respect as your wife.

(Stolas turns aways, gripping his arm. His face is full of guilt. But then he turns back, his face becoming blank.)

STOLAS: Respect goes both ways, Stella. And you'll have to forgive me if I can't respect someone who publically shames my performance in bed, or tries to have me assassinated, right in front of our child.

STELLA: Oh please, she had her headphones on. And it's not like it even worked. You're still here aren't you?

STOLAS: (bitterly) Sorry to disappoint you.

(Bitter silence.)

STOLAS: (sigh) ...Look, this...this isn't working. I cannot do this anymore.

STELLA: Meaning what?

STOLAS: I want a divorce. I do not want to be married to you anymore. I want out.

STELLA: (laughs bitterly) Of course. You realize that the Goetia family will not take this lying down? Andrealphus especially-

STOLAS: I don't care what your arrogant brother thinks.

STELLA: That much is obvious.

STOLAS: And as far as the Goetia are concerned, the only thing they care about is already 17.

STELLA: ...So that's it. We're done.

STOLAS: Yes. We're done.

STELLA: (deep breath) Fine. It's late. I will sleep in the guest room, and then we will both explain things to Octavia in the morning.

STOLAS: (nodding) That's fair.

(Stella turns to leave)

STOLAS: Stella...for what it's worth-

STELLA: Save it. The words of a traitorous embarrassment are worth nothing. You've fallen from what little grace you had. And I know you'll pay for it. You and that little plaything of yours.

STOLAS: Leave him out of this!

(Stella keeps walking.)

STOLAS: Stella! I mean it! Hate me if you must, but I will not let you threaten-

STELLA: It's not a threat, it's a fact. (turns around) You have made him part of this little game of yours. You have dragged him into the spotlight, Stolas. And sooner or later, he will be eaten alive.

(Stolas staggers back, his face a mask of rage and shock.)

STELLA: (suddenly very tired) I don't pretend to understand your feelings for that imp, but if you truly care for him at all...you will let him go.

(As Stella goes inside, Stolas' fist shake with rage and become sheathed in his magic. He turns, roaring, and slams his magic covered fist down on the balcony railing, causing it to crack and crumble slightly. Stolas then collapses on the ground, weeping.)

(Cut to Stella walking down a hallway. Her eyes are in shadow as her mouth contorts, a single tear forming and threatening to fall. Stella furiously scrubs it away, then straightens, her face a mask of cold regality. She continues down the hall.)

(End.)

#hattafan2593 #helluva boss #stolas #stella goetia #helluva boss season 2 episode 1 the circus #alternate ending #recontextualizing canon behavior #basically stella isn't an abusive bitch because she's evil #she's an abusive bitch because she's held to unfair standards in a high class patriarchal society #and it's causing her to lash out in a toxic and unhealthy manner #stolas has trouble empathizing with the feelings of others #as in canon #and is also a major hypocrite #and clueless to his own privelege #but he's still an abuse victim and his hurt and resentment is valid #i tried to make their relationship more nuanced #hope I succeeded

[fideidefenswhore]

the tudors (2007-2010)

anne boleyn (2021)

bonnie burstow (1992)

#HOW IS MY MOTHER...YK...THAT OTHER WOMAN THAT HAD ONLY A DAUGHTER WHICH IS PROOF GOD HAS ABANDONED HER #ffs chapuys; know your audience!! #anyway tl;dr these are all (obviously) fictional mary's so who knows if she ever expressed these sentiments #but i didn't realize how common a feature this was until i came across the quote #and you know. as you watch them. knowing the fictionalized mary is going to become the historical mary #one can't help but be like damn if this not going to come back to bite in 20 years... #it also had me thinking of the double standards of mary i stans #anne boleyn's stillbirths/miscarriages are how she 'fucked around and found out' #which is not their attitude towards mary's phantom pregnancies #nor should it be. but probably not for either; right? #i think the fact of the matter is it's quite possible mary was never going to have been able to have children even had she married younger #as much as it's possible anne might never have been able to carry any other pregnancies to term #she was really not that 'old' when she married; royal women had had children at 38 and even later #(mary that is) #and if that's true it doesn't mean she had less worth as a human being or that it's...funny? like #(that she never could have carried any pregnancies to term herself; that is) #i'm not sure why they can only see that for one particular women and not any others somehow #maybe we shouldn't be actually applying 16c principles on a woman's worth as we study them. just thinking out loud #or be celebrating the stress and pressures they must have felt cornered by all sides by the expectations of the patriarchal system #within which they had to survive...lol. lmao; even

[torchickentacos]

ok fuck the beauty standards, and shaving is largely useless and lowkey a scam upheld by societal expectation of mostly fem presenting people BUT i like it when my legs feel smooth like dolphins. reblogs off bc terfs can't behave

#terfs dni this is not about cis woman only experiences of patriarchal beauty standards #yall love this kind of post so i'm here to say it's trans inclusive #and we love hairy trans women who don't shave and we love the ones who do choose to shave #and we love everyone else whatever their decision on the matter is

[fry-egg]

I knew I shouldn’t have gone into the notes on that post. it’s ‘radfemmy’ to recognize standards of physical attractiveness are rooted in patriarchy and to literally just ask about the motivation behind getting a nose job. ok

#sorry you think trans women aren’t also affected by patriarchal beauty standards ? #or is that not what you meant by ‘radfemmy’ 🫥