#thought Theresa May was bad?

[hoeratius]

How does Britain constantly succeed in finding even viler politicians to run for PM

#thought Theresa May was bad? #Have Boris Johnson! #and then: Liz fucking Truss #that woman is either delusional or deceitful and probably both #i hate the Tory party so much like where do you FIND these people?????? #uk politics

[sanguinesky-if]

Sanguine Sky

DEMO [Public] [Updated 11/05/2024] genres: romance, modern-fantasy, supernatural, mystery, dark-fantasy.

Sanguine Sky is a work-in-progress modern dark-fantasy interactive novel. The story is heavily focused on romance, characters, and relationships.

The story rated 18+, contains mature and distressing content that may be triggering to certain individuals. It is recommend to check the full list of warnings before you proceed to the story. Please exercise caution and take care of yourself.

Word count [Public]: 96k [excl. code] | 116k words [incl. code]

You are a detective, tasked with investigating mysterious murders that have taken place in your normally quiet and peaceful hometown, Fallenmor. 

With two victims confirmed already, the initial one being your former mentor, Detective Bergmann, the situation couldn't seem more dire. Or so you thought until you received the news of another body, a possible third victim, discovered at the police station. In your very own office. 

An accident, a mere coincidence, a straightforward warning, a looming threat, or something entirely else… Whatever is happening, you feel it affecting you, awakening something both significantly familiar and distinctly foreign inside of you.

If only you knew that this was just the beginning… Things could have been different. 

But back then, in your ignorance, your singular concern lay with a pressing question: if you failed to find the murderer, who would become the next victim?

➤ Play as male, female, non-binary or trans; straight, gay, or bisexual.

➤ Customize your appearance and shape your personality.

➤ Take on the role of a detective, immerse yourself in the work of the police station.

➤ Embrace the mystery of your existence, or reject that inner sight of you.

➤ Seven romance options to choose from. Select their gender, be shy or bold, or focus on your goal without pursuing anyone.

All ROs are player-sexual and gender-selectable [M/F].

Kyle / Keira Moreno

Your colleague, a police inspector, and one of the rudest people you have ever met. Sharp and stern, K is surprisingly perceptive, and they use it to really see you. The good, the bad. Everything. Appearance: icy blue eyes, dark red hair, very pale skin.

Alexis 'Lex / Lexie' Conlan

Your best friend, and also your former partner from times when you were just a patrol officer. With a heart of gold and an approachable attitude, L always chooses you over the others. Appearance: forest green eyes, copper hair, beige freckled skin.

Morgan Schoivell

Your other colleague, a highly-skilled lab technician. M is rather reserved when it comes to emotions, and after almost a year of working together, M is still a walking mystery for you. Appearance: dark brown eyes, ash blonde hair, light skin.

Roderick / Rebecca Reyes

The commanding agent of the Criminal Investigative Division (CID) team sent to catch the killer. Overbearing and ruthless, R has their own way of getting things done. Appearance: gray eyes, blonde hair, pale skin.

Theodore 'Theo' / Theresa 'Tess' Vazquez

Another member of the CID team. With a cocky smile, T is full of flirts and sneering comments, regardless of the occasion. T has no doubts about what they want and isn't afraid to vocalize it. Appearance: dark green eyes, black curly hair, rich brown skin.

Isaac / Iris Brailsford

I looks the most mature and approachable of CID's fellow agents. Looks can be deceiving, though. Working behind the scene and watching from afar, I carries all the scars within. Appearance: hazel eyes, dark brown hair, olive skin.

Sebastian / Selena Goldstein

Someone new and temporary, S has a velvety voice and a perfect smile that doesn't reach their eyes. You're not sure if your paths will cross in the future, but something tells you S can't be trusted. Appearance: black eyes, long black wavy hair, bronze skin.

Other notable characters:

Your twin-sister: Your sweet, kind, caring, and gentle twin sister. She always tries to be there for you, and show how much she appreciates you, no matter what. Chief of Police, Kendrick Nash: Your boss, who is not handling his job so well after the recent death of his husband, Klemens Bergmann. Detective Klemens Bergmann: Police chief's husband, who happened to be a senior detective and your mentor. He was the first victim, murdered under mysterious circumstances.

A full list of warnings is available in the demo before beginning of the story. I recommend to check it before you proceed to reading. Please take care of yourself.

Links: DEMO | CoG forum | Q&A | RO's info | Tags | Patreon | Ko-Fi |

Thank you for your interest ♥

#interactive fiction #interactive novel #choicescript #dashingdon #choice of games #hosted games #sanguine sky #sanguine sky if #if: intro #if: wip #romance #supernatural #dark fantasy #modern fantasy #mystery #cyoa #if intro #if wip #ss about

[grantspectortrash]

Secret Santa With Steven

pairing: Steven Grant x Reader

summary: you and Steven are colleagues. You exchange Secret Santa gifts.

word count: 1.6K

IMPORTANT A/N: I am very aware Moon Knight/Steven are Jewish, and therefore do not celebrate Christmas, which is why this fic does not include him actually celebrating the holiday, but just participating in a Secret Santa.

I hope this doesn't come across as disrespectful, I just know how hard Christmas can be for some people and I hope that a fic including Steven, a comfort character, may help. If it is offensive in any way I will remove the fic immediately.

-

It was the last day of work before Christmas and you were ecstatic.

Last night it had begun to snow outside and by the morning the roads and streets were covered in the stuff. The view from your window looked like a winter wonderland.

And even though you left the house that morning with multiple layers on, and a chill in your fingertips, you still went to work with a smile. After all, it was the big day.

The day you and your colleagues exchanged Secret Santa gifts.

You hadn't been working at the museum long, maybe six months in fact, but your colleagues quickly became like a second family. Well, most of them anyway. Your boss Donna wasn't the friendliest of people, but your colleagues joint fear towards her was something that brought you together.

Now, it was the end of the day - the museum was closed to tourists, the lights were off and the security team had headed home for the holidays.

"Are we all here?" Donna sighed, glancing at her wrist-watch.

Even people who hadn't been on shift that day had arrived for the occasion, and while you all sat in the staff canteen you did a quick headcount.

The staff canteen had two rows of individual tables, each with two chairs sat opposite one another. You were sat alone.

There was Jim and Theresa, the gang who worked in the gift shop. The other tour guides, people who manned different exhibitions and rooms. And there was one person missing.

"Actually, Steven's not here yet." You piped up, answering Donna's question.

"Steven?" Donna rolled her eyes, "Of course it's him that's late. He's got another ten minutes or I'm starting without him."

You thought Donna's words were a bit harsh, after all she was the one who forced him into joining in on the Secret Santa festivities. The poor guy didn't even celebrate Christmas. You felt bad for him, and you absentmindedly starting playing with the ribbon you had tied around your present.

We can't start without him though, you thought, I'm his secret Santa.

And you had been excited about it too.

You had been one of the first people to pull a name from the box, hoping you didn't accidentally pick out your own, and you hadn't. Instead, you had picked Steven's.

"Who did you get?" He had asked during your shared lunch break after you'd picked his name.

Between bites of food you had said, "If I tell you, it wouldn't be much of a secret, would it?"

You had laughed at him, not in a mean way of course. It was just because Steven always made you laugh, without him even trying to.

He gave a small smile, "Oh right, yeah. Forgot that."

And then you had felt bad - because that's when you remembered.

"I guess you don't usually celebrate this stuff, right?" You asked and he had nodded.

"Well not really. But Donna she's persistent, kind of scary, actually. I couldn't say no." You knew how that felt; Donna was one boss you didn't want to mess with.

"And," he continued, "once I saw who I got, I thought getting them a gift wouldn't be too bad." He smiled at you and you thought about how kind and caring he was. "That's nice of you, Steven." You had said, "But don't tell me anymore. It's a secret Santa, remember?"

After that conversation you had spent every waking minute trying to find the right present - you knew he was a massive Egyptian mythology nerd, knew he had a goldfish. You even knew that he was vegan, and his favourite chocolates cane from a store down the road.

But, you hadn't wanted to get him something generic or boring. When you had told a friend about it they had suggested buying Steven a copy of 'Night at the Museum'. You had told your friend that was an insult to to Steven's intelligence.

So, you went above and beyond.

You went to the library and scoured through their mythology section. There you found a book Steven often referred to. In the front page you could see how often he checked the book out - at least once a month.

"Where can I buy this book?" You had asked, slamming the heavy, well-read book onto the librarian's desk.

She had given you all the information she could, and then you were on the hunt. It took two weeks of communicating with a rare-book seller to finally get hold of the thing, and then another week for it to arrive in the post.

It had arrived yesterday and you had spent the evening wrapping it to perfection.

The canteen door swung open.

"Sorry I'm late," Steven came in wrapped up in his winter coat and scarf, "I'm here now."

There were a few mumbles of appreciation, some of annoyance, from the rest of your colleagues.

You watched how his eyes scanned the room for a spare seat, and how his face lit up when he saw there was one spare opposite yours.

"Do you mind?" He asked, gesturing to the chair.

"Not at all." You smiled at him, moving your hand to cover the present's tag with Steven's name on it.

You noticed how he didn't have a present on hand, and you wondered if Steven - sometimes clumsy and forgetful Steven - hadn't remembered to bring a gift.

"Cold out, innit?" He asked, blowing on his hands for warmth.

"Freezing." You replied. The urge to get your gloves out from your coat pocket and give them to him was almost overpowering. Then, Steven glanced at the gift under your hands and another urge took over, one that wanted to tell Steven that you were his secret Santa and he deserved the world, not just one gift.

"Right." Donna's loud voice cut through your thoughts like a knife. "Everyone eyes closed and presents on the table. I'm gonna switch them all."

You looked at Steven, who was already looking at you. He shrugged, cheeks slightly aflush, and closed his eyes.

You closed yours, still wondering if Steven had brought a gift for someone or not.

Donna went around the room. He heels against the floor were the only sounds you could hear.

"If I see you peaking, " she announced, "I'll deduct a day's wages and put you on inventory for a week." Even at Christmas, Donna was mean. She was a Scrooge, all year round.

You heard her approach your table, felt her pick up your present. She moved towards Steven, "Interesting choice, Stevie."

You were dying to know what her comment meant but you didn't dare open your eyes. Instead you kept them shut tight. There were a few minutes more of hustling and bustling then Donna's voice: "Open your eyes and presents. Go on. Merry Christmas or whatever."

Wasting no time, with the anticipation practically killing you, you opened your eyes.

Infront of you was a small, red envelope with your name written neatly on the front. You looked around the room briefly, watching everyone tear into wrapping paper like they'd never received a Christmas present in their life.

Even Steven was beginning to peel away the sticky tape from one of the edges. His cheeks were a glorious shade of pink.

You went for it.

Inside the envelope was a small card. It was a luxurious business card of an expensive restaurant nearby, with a time and date printed in a fancy font. The bottom of the card read 'table for two'.

You were astonished. It was a gorgeous restaurant, one where reservations were hard to come by because it was so popular.

Once again you scanned the room, hoping for any sign of your secret Santa so you could thank them.

You didn't have a partner or any family close by to join you for this table for two, but you were sure it would be easy enough for you to change the booking. It wasn't like your secret Santa could've known these things.

"I hope it's okay." Steven said suddenly. He hadn't opened his present yet, he had only unpeeled a corner.

"Sorry?" You asked.

"I uh, hope it's not too presumptuous of me." He spoke fast, "The reservation."

There was a beat of silence, then he continued, "I can cancel it if you want."

Your face felt warm, "This was you? Thank you, Steven, honestly!"

"It's for the both of us." He wouldn't look at you, "Only if that's what you want."

Finally the realisation of all his rambling hit you, and your heart involuntarily did a funny dance, one that you were used to when you were around Steven. "Oh my gosh, yes. That would be brilliant, Steven. Sounds like a date."

He looked at you then, all brown, adoring eyes. He smiled, wide.

"You haven't even opened yours yet." You prompted, trying to take the attention away from yourself.

You hoped you weren't blushing as much as you thought you were.

"Oh yeah...is this from you?" He asked, gently stroking the wrapping paper.

"Yeah it is. I know you don't celebrate it and all that, but Merry Christmas, Steven. This is my gift to you." His eyes lit up at that, as if those six words were the greatest gift of all.

"Thank you, Y/N."

Steven ripped the wrapping paper then, revealing the present you had spent so long trying to acquire.

"Oh my- this is amazing!" His voice was full of joy, "I can't believe you got this for me!"

Without even flicking through the book Steven stood up and moved towards you. You instinctively stood up and Steven embraced you in a hug. He was warm like jasmin and vanilla.

From somewhere in the room you heard a "finally".

You pulled away from Steven to find the room staring at you, all of them grinning like Cheshire cats.

Donna rolled her eyes, but there was a small smirk on her lips, "About time."

-

taglist: @later-gators12 @alicetweven @toracainz @bristark616 @insomniacfigure @allthingsvicf @leh2393 @elles-mind-palace @christineblood @fandxmslxt69 @foreverinwanderlust @sir-knight-slytherdor @ahookedheroespureheart

#moon knight #steven grant #steven grant fanfiction #steven grant x y/n #steven grant fluff #steven grant x reader #Christmas fic

[t4t4t]

getting a place with collie would be an insane decision. like the dude should not have hit her but if she deliberately starts shit, acts intimidating, screams and yells, breaks shit, steals stuff, and provokes people *on purpose* ?? doesn't she hit you all the time? and scream and yell at you?? if she literally can't be around ppl she should be alone and you shouldn't be trapped and miserable with her forever

Moreso in the past year we've really just had bad communication, and like a number of times she's tried to secure housing for herself in some way against me by saying "if anyone deserves to leave, it's her" as I mentioned before. But that usually results in us both leaving for her to talk like that, idk Theresa and crew from last summer kinda took her side but still the 5 of them (Theresa, Ramona, Eliza, Penelope, Cosmo) don't talk to either of us anymore. Bird took my side and told her to leave but we both left, Rachel didn't take sides but we both left because we thought it was expensive and Rachel too nosy into our lives, Blue didn't take sides and kicked us both out.

Like, she gave me a gash with a tea kettle at Bird's back in November or December I had to get stitches for but I threw a tiny plastic bottle at her face and it reminded her of the times I broke her nose throwing an apple and throwing a bottle of honey at her. (Yes I broke her nose like this, yes I've tried to make amends....) Not sure if a related incident or the bottle of honey incident when I was working homelessly at Fred Meyers in 2022 was when this happened but she did a huge swing and crushed part of my nose. We both had to get rhinoplasties last year.

But things on the whole over the past year from May to May have been mostly alright compared to how bad 2022 was for both of us.

Neither of us have broken much of each other's stuff intentionally, she's upset I broke her laptops but all of those have been accidental over the years. I broke her sideview mirrors off every time she pushed me out of the van during an argument for a good long while, and one of us had to duct tape it back up, but I think I haven't done that for over a year.

The thing she focuses on in "stealing" is the phone her mom pays for, which like. I've never understood. I've wondered about running away in the past and I think she's said I don't get to keep the phone if I'm not in her life. And like, keeping service is one thing but taking all my personal photos and data is so unnecessary. But I know she's just trying to manipulate me I guess.

She screamed at me a lot at Rachel's. Which was really confusing and weird.

She's super concerned I have none of her things even as she takes so much of mine. I imagine I'll get my books etc back eventually, it's just like. Wtf. But I wouldn't necessarily call it stealing that she took all the boxes up I hadn't even much unloaded, but like kinda. Kinda

But idk. I do care about her still, she's just scared. But yeah I can't say I totally trust her. Usually me saying that makes her upset, she'll either say "from you", or all the ways I've ever violated her trust, which is what "from you" is shorthand for in her head.

I miss her. Idk

Not sure if I should stay here or not...

[thekoopalingsandstuffs]

......OP, I got a question, more like a what if though.

What if, Ludwig only just stabbed Dieter and left him for dead? Like without Ludwig beating him to death after stabbing him. Ludwig just assumes he'll die and take Spewart away?

Like a alternate timeline that Dieter wasn't killed but survived his wounds. Like after the two leave someone finds Dieter and they take him to the hospital to recover and in the end he's still alive but is in hiding or something so everyone thinks he's dead or gone but in reality...

He's out there.... Somewhere....

(Now I wanna write a fanfic about this lmao-)

In my honest opinion, if Dieter survived the attack... He would probably just go home after he woke up like nothing happened. Before his parents can ask any questions, he'd be like,

"Ugh, last night sucked ass, you guys. I finally got Theresa to [Insert gross words here] and right before I could finish telling her how [Insert more gross stuff here], some fuckin' effeminate midget shows up and stabs me in the back! Like dude, what the fuck! Ruining the moment! I was coughin' up blood and shit and I passed out, and Theresa and her stupid blue-hair-&-pronouns friend ran away! I was planning on [Insert gross things] afterwards, but noooo, I can never get what I want, can I?? I hate everything!"

Kaley & Beef: 0_0

The parents would take Dieter to the hospital because THERE'S A GIANT FUCKING HOLE IN HIS STOMACH. Dee explains what happened to the doctors, too, while they're about to work on him. Upon waking up, Dieter immediately gets sent to prison. (A, his story very clearly tells of him committing a crime and he's not even trying to hide it, and B, the doctors may have exaggerated a bit to the police 'cuz they thought he was annoying)

I would potentially love a fanfic of the horror idea, though! As long as it has a HAPPY ENDING and doesn't end like that OTHER ONE DID. DARIUS. LOL. I don't want to read about my characters slowly getting tortured to death and the bad guy getting away. AGAIN. :3

[theresa-of-liechtenstein]

art by em year in review 2023!

for the fourth time, i present to you a selection of the art i did this year! this definitely was the Year of Understanding Procreate, and i think it paid off. as usual, reflections under the cut.

january: i saw @malcolm-f-tucker tag a picture of abigail thaw with a comment about a theresa faceclaim and it left no survivors, i.e. i decided that theresa should have greying hair and did not look back. this was from when i was still trying to figure out what brush to use for lineart in procreate. luckily i had learned my lesson from the sketchbook learning curve and realized that what i liked for lineart would most likely be in the pencil section. however i wasn’t a huge fan of the brush i used in this one, so i didn’t use it again. instead, for later pieces, i decided to customize the 6b pencil brush to my liking, and…

february: …this came out of it! this is still one of my favorite things i have ever drawn, and it’s my favorite thing i’ve drawn yet for herc and linda. this piece really convinced me to use overlay layers more in my art, and the amount of detail i managed to capture in this one still amazes me now. and before anyone asks, yes, they are doing specific things in the startup procedure for an airbus a320-family aircraft, except linda is doing things off the CM1 checklist and herc is doing something off the CM2 checklist, which i learned later is not really something that is done. let’s just say herc is not the tightest stickler to convention.

march: one half of an intended two pieces centered around the f1 au (which, regrettably, i have yet to continue… i just reread what little of the second part is on ao3 and god, it slaps actually, i really need to continue it so bad) depicting a pivotal scene from around the outside, where theresa and linda decide to put aside a childhood feud at the top of the banked curve at monza. at sunset. on theresa’s birthday. i know, very meaningful, incredibly homoerotic. read the fic to see how well that turns out!

april: i always knew i wanted to redraw the first filipino!hercolyn thing i did back in 2020, the one that completely solidified in my mind the notion that These Characters Are Filipino, Actually, and when i got comfortable in procreate i quickly jumped on that. (if you notice, a lot of the stuff i did this year were redraws of old pieces i really liked but wasn’t fully satisfied with.) of course i wanted to draw them in the traditional clothes in my parents’ and grandparents’ wedding pictures. the implication of this being, of course, that this is the soft shoe shuffle wedding. i have a fic planned centered around that, from douglas’ perspective. now that grad school apps are basically done, if my honors thesis doesn’t kick me too hard, i’d love to get on that as soon as i can.

may: YOU JUST GOT COLINED! SEND THIS TO A FRIEND TO TOTALLY COLIN THEM! ah, colin fairbairn: the figure whose presence haunts all of newcastle but is never actually. named. (much to the chagrin of a lot of people who genuinely thought linda’s dad was named colin bc i Wouldn’t Shut Up About It) i just love him so much and i love this piece, i wanted to depict the wistfulness of an older colin whose airline is on the verge of collapse, who has been secure in his job as chief pilot of air cal, who looks out over glasgow airport (that’s glasgow’s runway in the background) and wonders if it’s time to put himself out to pasture. wondering what he could have done differently. it’s okay bby. there’s no way that you could have prevented this. but he’d never believe it. he’s too duty bound. he lives in my head rent free.

june: another redraw, this time of a piece from 2021. i was so happy with this one, and i am very happy with it still! everything about the older piece i loved was improved massively by this redraw: the poses, the proportions, the line work, the coloring. honestly, just thinking about the two of them just existing in the airport, overlooked by bustling passengers, just part of the landscape, but having such a rich history and relationship between them… it’s something i think about a lot and i love it.

july: this comprises the third part of an unofficial trilogy of drawings i did centered around douglas/martin/theresa. in each one, i centered a different member of the ot3: i did one centering martin last year, one centering douglas in the spring, and this one centers theresa between douglas and martin. i really enjoy how i did the expressions in this one: martin, looking out toward the planes; theresa, following his gaze, eager to share in the passion they both have; and douglas, looking down at both of them (yeah i think they’re both shorter than him. i think it’s cute). i feel like when i draw these three, where they look and how they look is very important to me.

august: can you believe before this point i had never drawn herc and douglas together? yeah, me too. anyway, them 🤍 i’ve literally only ever drawn them as older men so trying to draw them younger was. lowkey kind of hard. i’m hoping to revisit air england herc and douglas in the future, especially since i didn’t intend for this to be anything more than a quick bit due to those bisexual divorcee brackets (which i don’t know what became of them in the end except that douglas got through and herc didn’t, lmao)

september: unposted self-portrait done as a part of my aerospace fellowship application i wound up getting rejected from because they required me to do a creative component. not much to say here. anyways.

october: yet another redraw, this time of a portrait of herc, carolyn, linda, and arthur i did a year prior, in october of 2022. i like to think that lfeu!herc carries pictures of linda, arthur, and carolyn in his wallet: he had never wanted to be the family man for most of his life, but in his new life, this new form, he can play it well. something about the coloring seems a little off to me: i think i may have to go in and adjust arthur’s skin tone because i think it doesn’t look 100% right. but i love this one too. i hemmed and hawed for ages over what they should be wearing but in the end i put them in what they’d wear for work bc i couldn’t think anymore. but it turned out super cute and i think it emphasizes what brought the four of them together in the first place: aviation.

november: a cute little doodle of young!colin with baby linda, from a bigger piece. something i generally feel like i’ve gotten stronger with this year has been drawing a larger variety of poses. i discovered that procreate allows you to import reference images in a smaller window that can be very easily dragged around and resized, which was a massive improvement over my previous strategy with sketchbook, which had been to import reference images as their own layers. often, moving it around or resizing reference images resulted in some loss of quality. anyways there’s something just so tender about colin and linda and i love to revisit them.

december: last but not least, we finish off the way we started, with theresa (and an added douglas lol). and boy, how different does december look from january? granted, it’s a different angle, but i personally think there is so much more dimension at the end of the year compared to the beginning. i was less afraid of using overlays to enhance the coloring. and the brush i wound up settling on for lineart really ended up serving me well this whole year, culminating in this piece. not much to say on this one, i like it a lot :)

overall thoughts: i didn’t think i drew as much as i wanted to this year, but looking back i still think i made really good progress and improved a lot from last year, so i’m still happy. definitely want to draw more next year, explore new subjects, and maybe work on redrawing more pieces from previous years because those projects have been very fun to undertake.

once again i want to say a big thank you to everyone who’s ever shared or commented or left a like on anything i’ve drawn: it will have been 10 years next year since the end of the show i primarily create fanwork for, and to still have people out there who like what i do is such a gift. yes i create for myself, but i do also like receiving feedback from others and sharing it with others, so thank you thank you thank you. and happiest of new years to all :)

#em draws #em retrospects #art by em year in review

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

To some degree Tessie Mays role at the moment reminds me of the old lady/Queen Margaret? Of Shakespeare's Richard III. Like she is definitely not in power any more, but nonetheless she is scurrying around the feast of internal power fights full of spite for the whole situation

Pretty much!

She's a fucking weird Tory, actually, and she in many ways scares me more than any of the others. Thing is, at the heart of the rest of them, they're ultimately motivated by self-interest. Sometimes that's more blatant (there is no one more blatant than Boris Johnson, the man is quite literally a monster), sometimes less so until they slip up a bit and it turns out they've been using their power as Chancellor of the Exchequer to protect their multi-millionaire wife from paying tax (Rishi Sunak); but it's true of all of them. That's why they're into right wing politics in the first place. For good or bad, a central divide of the left-right political spectrum is that the left is community-focused, and the right is individual-focused.

So you have an idea of how weird Theresa May is when I tell you that she is motivated by community interest.

The communities she cares about, of course, are her own very specific ones. Her particular church. The Tory party. Her constituency. And it's not because she cares about the people in them, of course (I mean, I imagine she does to an extent.) There is no moral reason for it. It's because these are things that shape her self-identity. It's because she values loyalty. It's because she's passingly competent, and what she otherwise lacks in competence (which is a lot, she's a moron) she makes up in hard work - even leftists living in her constituency agree, through gritted teeth, that she does work very hard for them. (She's extremely popular in her home constituency, in fact - that's one of the safest Tory seats in the country, and even with the current circus parade, I don't see that changing in the next election.)

When she stood down as PM it was because she realised she was hurting the Tory party, which she wouldn't allow. That matters more to her than her own position. Contrast that with Big Dog himself, the clown in chief, and look at how his pathetic desperation to cling to his seat on top of the pavilion has now destroyed the party in a mess that will only be resolved by burning down and starting again. Contrast it with David Cameron, who called the Brexit referendum because he thought it would make him more popular, then immediately quit when it became clear he'd now have to actually deliver it, abandoning the country to half a decade of chaos to save his own skin rather than fix the mess he personally caused. In fact, Cameron and BloJo's behaviour is fairly par for the course for Tories; hers, not so much.

And yet, she's also fucking evil. I could list for hours her personal crimes against humanity - let's not forget that she has spent over a decade trying to repeal the Human Rights Act, and was responsible for that bullshit story about a convicted foreign criminal not being deported because under the Human Rights Act being separated from his cat would cause him too much distress (a story that is so blatantly and flagrantly untrue you'd think a child of five could see through it, but I have learned not to underestimate the sheer bloody-minded crass stupidity of the British public.) I mean, this is the woman who gladly oversaw the Windrush Scandal, and deported black British citizens to the Caribbean because the country no longer needed them. She's appalling sack of diarrhoea in a dress. I mention all this because she might be seeming Not So Bad from everything I've written up there, and she is - she is exactly as bad as the others. I hope she falls in an open sewer.

She's just weird, that's all. Thinks differently. Unsettling.

#politik #racism

[hopusthebrainlessfloof]

Teehee I wrote more fanfic of @thekoopalingsandstuffs AU ÒwÓ

I've been particularly wanting to write some stuff about small supernatural occurances involving Dieter, and I guess this serves as a prequel to Dear Dieter. ^^

Check below the cut! ;]

Goodbye, Dieter

"Are you sure we should be messing with the dead?" "It's just a little piece of wood," Iggy replied while getting out an ouija board from his disaster area of which he called a bedroom. "But... What if we summon a ghost?" He trembled a little as he spoke. Iggy spun around and gave a small guffaw. "So what? You're not afraid of ghosts, are you?" He gave no response, and only stared at Rango. He knew Rango wouldn't protest against his boyfriend.

The three set the board up and began the séance in the living room. It was the night of Halloween- or more technically, the early morning after. Spewart recalled that in cultural studies, today was la Día de Los Niños, and tomorrow would be Día de Los Muertos. These were both Mexican holidays of honouring the dead and celebrating the life they had lived. Using an ouija board, he felt, was not only disrespectful but also a bad omen generally. Yet here he was, using one with Rango and Iggy.

He was only here because the other two just happened to be awake. Iggy was supposedly "bored" and wanted to sneak out with Rango to a hotel, but Rango, having fallen ill, was too tired to be intimate. Yet, wanted to keep Iggy company by staying awake? It made no sense. Roy was also technically awake, but he was watching TV and wanted no part in whatever Iggy was up to. As for Spewart, he couldn't sleep. Insomnia and night terrors stressed him out, made his stomach hurt even more than it already did on a regular basis. Anything to take his mind off of Dieter was a blessing, though, he wasn't exactly sure if this was his idea of such--

"Hello, is anyone there?" Iggy began. No response. "Guess there's no spirits," Spewart meekly chuckled. "Try holding the thing," Rango piped in. With a sigh, Spewart placed his hands on the planchette. "Is anyone there?" Iggy repeated this at least four times, but each time was met with silence. "One of you try," he snipped. Spewart was about to protest the attitude, but was interrupted by Rango. "Hello-o-o? Anyone ho-o-ome?" Iggy started laughing, leaving the other two confused for a moment, before the planchette started to slowly move to "yes". The three grew silent.

"What should we say?" Iggy thought. "Ask for its gender." "Gender?" Spewart found himself saying. "Why does their gender matter?" Iggy shrugged. "Are you a boy or a girl?" Rango asked. "Or non binary. They could be non binary. Maybe we should've asked for their pronouns..." Iggy rolled his eyes. A pause went by before the planchette moved. B-O-Y. "A male spirit..." "Wonder if he's gay," Iggy snickered. Spewart groaned before deciding to ask a question. "How old are you?" No response. "I guess he doesn't like you," Iggy laughed.

Suddenly, the planchette jerked to the "T". They all stared.

"Is he spelling out his age?" H. "Thirteen? Thirty? THREE?" "Iggy, shut up," Roy muttered from the couch. E. The three quietly blinked. "The? The what?" R. "There?" "Iggy." Roy turned his head. "Keep your voice down. Literally everyone is sleeping." Iggy stuck his tongue out. E. S. A. Spewart felt his blood turn cold, and as he slowly glanced upwards, he could tell Rango had the same response. "Theresa?" Iggy sneered. "What kind of response is that? That's not a number at all." A long pause went by. "Dieter?" Rango squeaked with a tremble. "Are you... Dieter?" A pause. The planchette slowly crept to yes.

"I want to leave, I don't want to do this anymore-" Spewart stood before Rango took his hand. "Wait. If you don't say goodbye to him, he may be stuck in this realm. We should say goodbye first." It wasn't promising, but it sounded better than being haunted by Dieter. He slowly sat back down. "Are you dead?" Rango resumed. "No fucking duh he's dead," Iggy laughed while elbowing Rango's side. Rango gave a meek chuckle and laughed it off as a joke.

"Are you mad at me, Dieter?" Spewart whimpered. A very long moment of silence went by. He was frightened. What if he said yes? What if he wanted him dead too after what Ludwig did? He was an accomplice, after all! He helped hide the body in the river, and-- The planchette jerked to no. A wave of relief went over him. "Why would he be mad at you?" Rango asked while tilting his head. "Forget that, how do you two even know who he is?" Before Rango could respond, the planchette slid to I. Then to M. I. S. It slid around a bit before landing on S again. Y. O. U. Spewart knew that was for him.

"I miss you too, Dee," he softly sighed. He didn't neccesarily miss Dieter... but he was unsettled by the fact that he was gone. Iggy yawned. "I'm getting tired. Let's say goodnight to it." Rango nodded. "We have to go now. Goodbye, Dieter." The plancette quickly slid to no. They were all confused. "Why won't you leave?" Iggy impatiently grumbled. The planchette spelt out Theresa again. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" "He wants Spewey to say goodbye." A shiver went down Spewart's spine before he drew a breath. "We have to go now," he said. "Goodbye, Dieter." A pause went by before the planchette crept once more. Goodbye.

Iggy stood and stretched. "That was boring," he grumbled while taking the board and planchette. "I'm sleeping. Good night." "Good night!" Rango chimed. "I love you!" He was met with no response before sighing and turning to Spewart.

"Spewey?" "Hm?" "Why would Dieter be mad at you?" Spewart blinked before sighing, and he began to explain...

#super mario #broodals #fanfic #writeblr

[gerec]

Hello! Could you please rec the cherik funniest stories for me? I desperately need a laugh.

Thank you!

And because I don't want to just post angst recs, here's a very long list of my favorite cracky/humorous fics! Enjoy!!!

Protect, Serve, Troll by keire_ke

Erik's fire department has a special relationship with the local university. They visit often. Sometimes, there even is a fire.

Erik Lehnsherr's Guide to Parenting by keire_ke

Alex disapproves of school car washes, despite the abundance of wet bikinis on pretty girls. Erik doesn’t approve of his son shirking money-making duties.

Humane Society by smilebackwards

Once Erik finally allows himself to decide that Charles is pretty much the best thing since sliced bread, he spends the next week being incredibly bitter that he's Charles' cat and not his boyfriend.

Other Life Challenges by professor (series)

“Why am I here again?” Erik groans.

“I need you to lift things and glower at people over my shoulder when I tell people that it’s not ‘politically correct’ or a ‘war on Christmas’ to have a non-denominational winter holiday festival,” says Theresa Pryde.

Well, at least those are two things he’s good at.

Wednesday by Red

Getting confined to a nursing facility for a six-week course of iv antibiotics would have been dreadfully dull, had Charles not found a way to "occupy his time."

In which Erik Lehnsherr, retired nazi hunter, becomes the latest victim of Charles Xavier's charms.

Scenes from the Wild by nekosmuse

Erik Lehnsherr, world renowned wilderness survivalist, alongside his husband, Charles Xavier, survive the perils of the wild in order to bring you, Two Men, One Knife, an award winning reality survival series, available only on the Discovery Channel. Follow Erik and Charles as they travel to the world's most remote locations with only the most basic of supplies. Pitted against nature, this husband-husband team struggle to survive in some of the world's harshest climates while battling the planet's fiercest predators. Can they survive the Canadian North? Find out next season, on Two Men, One Knife

The O(l)dd Couple by winterhill 

Futurefic, fixit, fluff. In public, Erik and Charles are immensely powerful and charismatic world leaders. In private, they're a pair of stubborn old men. 

Assassination (It's Not For Everyone) by silverdawn89

In which there are guns, mayhem, cold-blooded torture, more guns, explosions, girls (and boys) in leather, even more guns, knives, chess, and just for a change, a fuckload of guns. Or to put it another way: assassin AU!

Timeline by Unforgotten

After Magneto of an X2-ish future succeeds in the unthinkable, Charles sends his consciousness back to 1962 to guide Erik away from the path that will lead to the genocide of the human race forty years hence.

Charles knows that Erik has always loved him, and intends to use this knowledge + sex to seduce Erik away from his ideals in his youth.

There's no way this well-thought-out, sensible, debugged and 100% bulletproof plan can possibly go wrong.

scandal of the century by joshriku

The headline reads:

STEAMY SEX TAPE BETWEEN MAGNETO AND PROFESSOR X LEAKED!

“All right,” Charles says. “I wouldn’t call it steamy, you know, that’s an exaggeration.”

“That is seriously not the point, Professor,” Jean answers.

(A sex tape is leaked. PR crisis ensues).

Bad Guy Saves the Day by ferretbaby

Total crack. How the 'divorce' could have been averted if Azazel and being pregnant worked in your favor. Also Charles is really pissed at Erik's penis.

Salem Center Mass by listerinezero

Erik Lehnsherr is a professional hitman and has no intention of attending his ten year high school reunion. But since he happens to have a kill lined up in the same town at the same time, he decides he may as well stop by. After all, his high school sweetheart, Charles Xavier, might be there. And it's not like he's spent the past ten years pining over Charles. Not at all.

How to Get a Midgardian Boyfriend: a Guide by Charles Odinson by cachinnation

The king of all Asgard had three sons, and of the three Odinsons, one was golden and tempestuous and kingly, and the other two were right headaches. After Charles, Odin stopped bringing children home.

True Story by Unforgotten

In which Charles and Erik meet for the first time at the urinal, and somehow years later end up basically co-parenting Erik's baby daughter.

[A How I Met Your Mother AU featuring Charles as bi!Ted and Erik as gay!Barney.]

Big Gay Mutant Miracle Baby by listerinezero

Erik is under the mistaken impression that Charles is somehow pregnant, and he's so happy that Charles doesn't have the heart to tell him that the bump he's caressing is just a food baby.

surely shifted my way by Traincat

The one where Erik and Charles get engaged, Raven is an x-treme wedding planner and the kids get way too involved. Oh, and there are doves everywhere. Modern slightly!AU, where everyone is together and alive and happy because it's weddingfic and weddingfic is allowed to do that.

Omega Online by miss_aphelion

Newly imprinted Charles is having trouble dealing with his overly protective alpha—so in desperation he seeks advice in an omega chat room. Emma Frost is more than happy to help, Raven isn't helping at all, and Erik can't stand to be out of touch with Charles for more than five minutes at a time.

Kidnappings, Hangovers, and Homecomings by listerinezero

Seven years after Cuba, Erik is miserable. His life is nothing like he expected it would be. He hates the Brotherhood, his subordinates are all idiots, and now, on top of everything else, he's been kidnapped. But when Charles comes to rescue him, Erik starts to think that maybe things might turn out all right for him after all.

We Welcome Our New Sexbot Overlords by professor (series) Robot!Erik falls in love, takes over the world, and keeps Charles in a giant birdcage. And then, it gets complicated.

Grin and Bear It by professor

The one where Erik hates bears, and falls in love with Charles -- who is a werebear. Hijinks and feels ensue.

Oysters and Champagne by listerinezero

Erik is the extremely talented, extremely scary chef at one of the top restaurants in New York, and Charles, the head waiter, is the only person with the balls to stand up to him. Their fights are the stuff of legend, and their argument over the Valentine's Day menu turns into one for the history books.

I thought you already knew by winter_hiems

“Wanda… did our dad… boink Professor X?” Wanda took a sip from her mug of coffee. “Pietro, our dad is still fucking Professor X. I thought you already knew. Literally everyone knows.” - Pietro finds out about his father and Charles Xavier. Apparently everyone else already knew.

drastic measures by goodmorningbeloved (3799steps)

Erik glowers.

“I can’t believe we’re back to this,” Charles says, like he wants to throw his hands in the air. He’s pouting a little bit. “Years of progress, and we’ve returned to you brooding. Don’t tell me I have to break out the terrible flirting again.”

Erik glowers a little less. “Flirting,” he repeats, bland but also maybe just very, very, very slightly, faintly, vaguely hopeful.

“Oh, yes,” Charles says absently, until something seems to strike him. “Don’t tell me you don’t…” He raises his left hand and brandishes the ring. “We promised ourselves to each other last week.”

--

Alternatively: Erik's memory is swiped clean of his and Charles's relationship.

One Hundred One Night Stands. by Sophia_Bee

Charles has a rule. Never fuck the same guy twice. When he refuses to see Erik again after a one night stand, Erik goes about trying to get Charles to violate that rule using accents and disguises.

My Barbaric Darling by baehj2915

Erik is revivified caveman. Charles is the anthropologist(?) taking care of him. This is as ridiculous as it sounds. Romcom misunderstandings and prehistoric wooing ensues.

Charles Xavier's Baby by Gerec

Charles Xavier is pregnant. With a baby. Due to a previously unknown secondary mutation.

He might be a little freaked out.

Also, there's a fifty percent chance his ex fathered his baby. And a fifty percent chance the new boyfriend knocked him up.

#gerec rambles #cherik #gerec's fic rec #fic rec #humor #crack #long post #this is not letting me add a read more??? #whyyyyyyy

[gaming-thoughts-by-an-idiot]

Fable 2, may the frustration begin!

"Alrighty, let's go, I've already had a break after crying about Rose and Sparrow and I just named the dog Snape"

"Fuckin hell, there's a hurricane outside haha hope it doesn't take away the power haha"

"Woow, the shirt I'm wearing is -5.0 attractive! That's so mean!"

"I put my wagon up for rent cuz im smart this time"

Game: someone just tried to flirt with you

Me: damn, bad taste

"Theresa just said 'come with me' AND THEN WALKED IN THE WAY. MOVE BITCH MOOOOVE"

Theresa: when you come out from there, you're gonna be stronger-- much stronger

Me: from puberty

"Snape found something... it's a Ball! Thank god, I thought it was gonna be a condom"

"The controllers are a bit awkward, but that's probably more on me since I've been playing more pc lately"

"Old tomb, oh no Snape is scared! My baby:("

Game: this is what the different colour orbs mean

Me, laughing awkwardly: haha yeah I'm not gonna remember that

"Sluuurp it up like bubble tea!... oh ew"

*opens a chest*

*dog barks*

Me: yeah thanks I already found it...

"I think this is actually one of the times I prefer shooting enemies"

*actually uses the melee weapon*

"Oh, no I think I'm still a melee weapon bastard"

"There's some letters on some skeletons and they're all like 'I'm gonna poison my mates' so yeah they all poisoned eachother, brilliant"

"Ya know, the orbs are kinda like bubble tea... I've only had apple, oh or maybe frog eggs... you know what? Nevermind."

"Savin station, gotta love mah savin station"

Game, after I've slurped up the orbs: outstanding work!

Me: thank you! You know, I like this kinda of encouragement

*orbs slurped up and character glowing and stepping back*

Me: iiiiiii don't wanna say what I'm thinking but I'm gonna anyways... she just had an orgasm

"Oh look, a bright light in the middle of the room, that doesn't scream 'sword in the stone' at all"

Theresa: there were many with the hero blood in their veins, then there were none-

Me: cuz someone decided to be asexual

Theresa: now, step into the circle

Me: last time I did that my sister and then myself got shot soooo

"Fine, I'll step into the light"

"Holy shit, I just saw her underwear cuz of the animation"

"Crap she's talking about the orbs"

"Something about Will"

"Ooh, I spot another water dive thing"

"Omg swim faster, what? There's a rock in the way? Well fuck it and swim through it"

"If this is a condom- oh a weapon, nice"

"Ooooh... B is NOT the swim faster.. A is hahaaah oops"

"Ohohoh, a bunny! Ooh I can run?? Ooh I can throw the force? Hehe get back here ya lil shit. Fucking hell, yeah you get away this time! Until I figure out the controls, that is"

"Theres supposed to be a door here, Where's the door"

"Oh there it is, cant do anything about it I'm sure but there is it"

"Oh no, it's the smart door"

"I cant even laugh, the author door wasn't mean about it, unless it was and I'm just stupid"

"Damn, this guard really looked at this teen(?) And went 'yeah you look like a person who can fight, go do our job' like thanks I guess"

"Time to fight a bitch"

"Came a guy by, name Dick, and I had to take the safety off so I could kill him"

"But I'm the good guy I promise"

Game: you inhabit a morally grey area, doing what you feel like, when you feel like it

Me: wow, that is just me in every game ever holy shit

"Some times the sound will just disappear and its the game which makes this annoying, or I think it is..."

"It was the xbox, that decided mid game that switching sound source would be fun, and it was not fun"

"I hope I saved..."

"Almost pressed new character, scared me"

"I should delete the other saves..."

"I'm trying to get a discount with a trader by being funny"

"Hehe 19% off"

"Oh right, heart means they love me... this is gonna be a nightmare"

"Oh my god what have I created, corset, short shorts and long boots oh no I look like a whore"

"Theresa is gonna be so disappointed like 'I left you alone for ONE minute' omg"

"But atleast I'm 20% hot"

"The Y button is NOT inventory!!"

"Omg, her new hair... and make up... jesus"

"So, how attractive am I? 20% for clothes, 10% for hair and 12% for make up, that's pretty good, I mean I look like a slut but ya know"

"Crap, I was gonna go see Theresa"

"I've just been crying while trying to make swords and it's probably horrible, I'm so sweaty from the anxiety but I made 336 coins"

"I changed my name to dumpling and I'm feeling weird about it"

"Earning money so I can buy houses so I can be a horrible landowner to put rent up so I can continue this"

Game: you're now a blacksmith!

Me: jesus christ no

Game: you've successfully made 7 swords

Me: don't @ me like that, I have emotions

Game: this villager is attracted to you-

Me: that's a first

"Heheh, this man loves me, and now I got 25% off"

"I stole something from a chest and it gave me +5 in evil and guess what it is? A fucking condom"

"I got evil for stealing a condom"

"Eeehhh, looks like i gotta play more lute to get that up"

"Hehe"

"Fable is just like stitch, need to get my good-ness level up"

"I've earned 3k and only 82 swords but I also lost like 400years of my lifetime die to stress so"

"I need 400 more to buy a house ugh"

#gaming #funny #relatable gaming thoughts #fable sparrow #fable ii #fable 2 #fable2 #gaming thoughts

[hanna-kin]

Season 2 thoughts

I've been fairly quiet on here since the article came out. But I've read it, spoilers and all and I've spent the last day and a half processing, reading theories and just enjoying the buzz.

And here are my thoughts.

At first I wasn't going to read it but then I figured I would stumble upon it sooner or later anyway so decided to snoop around a little before reading the entire thing.

Even before reading my excitement for the new season was increasing with every bit of information we got.

I never even a fan of the love triangle. Never. I'm genuinely tired of that trope. I've tried to deny it for ages but after the sneak peek we got I was like oh well...

And then @grizviser confirmed it to me and I was like...😶😑 great... But.

Then I read the article and now I'm so excited with everything.

I love that we got more information about Simon's journey and that he too will mess up and lose himself. Nothing made me more happy.

We already knew about Wille doing bad stuff, dark stuff, stuff that can't be justified.

I'm so happy we get to see Simon on a similar journey. He too is allowed to make mistakes. Its okay of he ends up doing bad things and hurting people.

Some people in this fandom tend to see him as almost flawless and that he's not made any mistakes and I think it's important that he too can do bad things. It won't make him a bad person at all. We all make mistakes and with everything he's been through I don't blame him for losing it.

He may end up hurting Wille badly. He may end up hurting other people or make terrible choices. We might not be able to support everything but I'm postive we will still love him.

I would have been super disappointed if it was just Wille doing bad stuff and Simon being a mother Theresa (he never was in season 1 either but like I said. Part of the fandom treats him as one and likes to think he can’t do anything wrong)

It makes sense that he will mess up. Like I said the things he went through in season one are terrible.

I can't wait for him to make mistakes and be allowed to. I just hope we can recognise these mistakes while still being understanding of his character and support him as a whole.

I think it's so important that we get to see Simon explore himself. He's only 16 years old. He is allowed to make mistakes. Just like Wille is and was in season 1.

I think it will be good for their dynamics to see that Wille is not a demon (lol I know very few people think that) and Simon is a saint (some people believe that) but they are both kind hearted, young boys who are just trying their best.

And now for the love triangle. I'm not stoked for the idea but I'm intrigued by the whole "not the normal way of doing it" I love that we are not meant to root for anyone.

Marcus will be a rebound but he likely will play a bigger part than that. Simon will try to move on but what will happen with that?

Will he want to keep Marcus a secret? Which would be a cool paralell to seasob 1. Will Marcus be okay with that?

Will he hide it from Wille in order to not hurt him?

Will he be a bit more resentful than we've first thought. Maybe he'll purposely show Wille that he's moving on (even if that might not be the truth)

How will Wille react to that? Will he spiral further in is revenge plan? Will he feel like he's got nothing else to lose? Will he give up?

Will he be angry?

Will he feel utterly shattered because Simon never loved him and has already moved on. And that noone loves him?

There's so much to unpack and I can't wait.

No matter what though, I'm sure we will also have beautiful moments with them.

And I'm glad we get to see them on journey of their own.

They'll come back stronger than ever.

And here's a cute picture to make you less sad.

#young royals #young royals thoughts #yr s2 spoilers #young royals spoilers

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Every time I cut out a clip, or edit together a few clips, to share on this website, I save it to my Britcom videos folder. Which is fun because sometimes I’ll spend a night just going through random videos I have on there, and remember things that I thought were worth saving at some point. Like the time when I took an episode of The Last Leg and cut out the middle bit, because the middle was the part where Josh Widdicombe and Alex Brooker were not singing Fairytale of New York.

Well I’m having a night of re-watching whatever clips look interesting as I click through that folder, and while this is one I’ve gone back to a number of times, I have just noticed something new about it: the bit in the middle (where Josh sings alone) is so much funnier it is if you just watch Adam Hills. What I like about this clip is that Josh Widdicombe is not kidding about being bad at singing; he says he is, and you think, “Well everyone says that, but bad at singing by the standards of people who are allowed to sing on TV actually just means pretty decent at singing but not as good as real singers”, and then he opens his mouth and you realize, “Oh no, there is actually a very good reason why he almost never takes part in the musical bits of The Last Leg, and it must have taken lots of convincing for him to agree to do this one.” He is so bad, and it is extra funny if you watch Adam Hills’ full facepalm in the background at 2:55. Just sitting there going... I’ve fucked up my only good leg so I’m out of commission for the end-of-show music bit this week, the younger boys have to carry it themselves, and that’s going badly because he is so bad at singing.

Like Alex is TV bad at singing. Alex Brooker is not a singer and most people who sing on TV are, so he’s not at as good as most TV singers and therefore he normally takes a backseat to Adam, who can actually sing (possibly not quite as well as he thinks he can, but he can sing). But Alex can sing as well as most people who sing along to music in a car. While Josh is notably worse than that.

It’s a fun clip. It’s got Rosie Jones dancing, and Joe Lycett on top of a crane dressed as Theresa May, for reasons that I think made sense at the time.

By the way, do you want to see my Britcom video folder? I think I shared a screenshot of it last year sometime, but it’s grown significantly since then. The only reason all the files still fit in one screenshot is I’ve divided lots of it into subfolders. I think when I shared it last year, I said “tag yourself, I’m Alan Davies calling someone a cunt”. And that is still true.

[lrgcarter]

There's a medical condition that I've noticed has been becoming more widespread and serious over the past few years.

Like, *technically* it's been around since the 1960s, but it used to be that only a few people in the world knew about it and even then it was pretty benign. People will argue over when exactly it started becoming a more worrying condition; 1990? 2008? 2015? You can create an argument for all of these, but this is one of those few conditions where herd immunity actually works. If the general public doesn't know about this condition, it isn't really that bad.

I personally became aware of the issue in 2020. This is not to downplay the people who were aware of the issue before that. I don't mean to erase your work. But I think 2020 marked the beginning in a massive upswing in people *suffering* from this condition rather than simply *having* this condition.

The building I work in has recently been visited by an architect who has this condition. The actor who plays the dad of the president in Ukrainian political drama/comedy Servant of the People has this condition. I don't know if they *suffer* from it or if they are able to manage their condition so that it doesn't affect their lives too much. But I think if we raise awareness of this issue then we can all work together to ensure that nobody has to suffer.

The condition, as you've all likely guessed, is Looking A Bit Like Keir Starmer. It's a grim condition, and the repercussions seem to keep getting worse. Fortunately, we can all work together to help those who suffer from it live a normal life.

The main point emphasised by accessibility activists is that just because someone Looks A Bit Like Keir Starmer, doesn't mean they *are* Keir Starmer, or are in any other way at all *similar* to Keir Starmer. This should always inform how we interact with people who have this condition.

If you meet someone who Looks A Bit Like Keir Starmer, don't instantly assume that they are going to reply to every question with the answer "we need more police". I know, I've made this mistake myself. I once failed to offer my seat on the bus to someone who Looked A Bit Like Keir Starmer because I thought they'd only reply "we need more police". My social faux pas didn't occur to me until long after their stop and the embarrassment kept me up all that night.

If you meet someone who Looks A Bit Like Keir Starmer, don't instantly assume any low bar progressive thing they say must be empty and meaningless. I met someone a while back who Looked A Bit Like Keir Starmer and assumed their claims of being an activist were full of shit. I later found out they had contributed to the efforts of the Trans Safety Network, the Racial Justice Network, and other grassroots organisations in acts of genuine mutual aid without any desire for personal gain. I checked my prejudices and now try to correct initial intrusive thoughts whenever they knee-jerk their way into my brain.

As you can see, a lot of this is about not making assumptions. Sufferers can inevitably list a lot of assumptions they face, far too many for me to list here. Some of them get really specific. As an autistic person who enjoys UFO lore, I must constantly remind myself that just because someone Looks A Bit Like Keir Starmer doesn't mean they are going to try and hand me over to the United States Department of Justice in a manner that makes even as evil a person as Theresa May say, "hang on, Keir, that's a bit incompatible with their human rights."

So take care when considering people who suffer from this condition, and remember that together we can work to make everyone's life better. Also note that these rambling thoughts should not be seen as arguing that we should be considerate to Keir Starmer himself. Keir Starmer doesn't *look like* Keir Starmer, Keir Starmer *is* Keir Starmer; and so assumptions based on the precedent he sets are completely fair.

I've now typed the words Keir Starmer so many times they've lost all meaning. There's a joke to be made there about Keir Starmer already having no meaning, but I'll leave it to the reader to figure out the most eloquent phrasing for that according to their personal tastes.

#and yes I realise that Keir Starmer as an individual is only a symptom of society #but that doesn't help the people who suffer from this condition

[unavailable-fan]

Some thoughts on the maze runner book series with slight spoilers probably

The maze runner book series and the movies are both interesting, but the best things about them don’t align at all, so people generally hate either books or movies, and sometimes both  I like the books more because of the things some people hate them for (though the second book was really testing my patience, especially in the middle)  and its so easy to hate some of the decisions Thomas makes, that it becomes this distinct feature to like about him as a protagonist since books follow his thoughts almost like his pov it turns this story into a story with unreliable narrator (kinda? at least it can possibly be seen like this?)  his thoughts contradict his actions quite often, and despite being convinced he’s “the smart guy” he clearly does the first thing that comes to his mind, and sometimes it even works surprisingly well i’d say he clearly has the spirit of a scientist, always ready to question something and to run and test his theories(mostly on himself, scaring everyone around) , but Theresa is the one with a mind of a scientist  And the funny thing is that they’re not even scientists - when they’re teenagers who lived in isolation in a postapocalyptic world in a really questionable environment from a very young age just to be a part of a big experiment, but from their perspective it’s more than just an experiment - it’s their whole known life  The books describe an experiment, and every part of the plot adds to this one idea of “the chosen one = the test subject”, and the movies have different perspective on the whole major thing that started this plot in the first place And it’s not a bad thing, on their own these movies can be quite entertaining, some of the point from the books are actually interesting to see in this sort of adaptation (though some of these details don’t work together and break this version’s logic, it can be overlooked, adaptations can be hard to make), but it’s a different story which looks like a story from the books only on the outside Books have completely different vibe and allow readers to be stuck in this situation with the protagonist, to suffer from the lack of important information just like the heroes with small bits of outside information to make it more interesting, and it helps building this sense of something incomprehensible, of knowing something is going wrong but nothing able to understand why, of being watched and controlled by someone, just like an experiment subject - and it’s unsettling,  it’s scary, it’s a psychological and physical torture  - and that defines these books for me But this format hurts the way characters are described - and it’s even addressed a few times how little the protagonist knows about a lot of people surrounding him - and for some readers this results in a lack of connection with the characters - because it takes some thinking and imagination really to get how weird and illogical some Thomas’s decisions look to anyone but him, and a lot of attention to actually get the differences in others’ personalities and their reasoning of their action -but it’s there at least at some degree it’s kinda like “show, don’t tell” but the light are all out - so maybe it was better to tell And, personally, i like it, it’s free “open to interpretation” thing  Also characters do have different way they act and react to different situations and a whole lot of traumatic evets thrown at them, and they change with the story - so they have different endings of their personal stories - and some interactions are painfully beautiful  (or beautifully panful in this case)  And it’s generally easier to explain some of the more stupid decisions in books, because all the events happen during a really short amount of time Some may complain about weird pacing - but it does convey the perception different of time in different situations  And the repetitions of the same ideas, especially in the first book, kinda help  convey how people subconsciously return to some thoughts if something about them seems off - and it also can be explained by some of the experiment’s conditions and the whole amnesia thing  Anyway - the first book is definitely worth reading - and it has all the good things + it feels really comfy for some reason and then hits with a bit of unreality - and that’s an interesting experience  And i just really wanted to share some thoughts on the series

#the maze runner #tmr #tmr books #also newt is obviously the best #and i'm really conflicted about the ending of the death cure #because it's both shows the best in character #but then you know what happens #so it's difficult #also romance subplots are awful if yo think of them as romance subplots #but if you broaden your perspective on how it actually affects mc and how it's still his pov they're quite okay #also theresa is a good character and i'm ready to fight #and minho is such an icon #i needed to get this out of my syste

[the-real-tc]

Fic Update! Bad Business: Ch. 12 A Place Called Heartland

Chapter 12:

A Place Called Heartland

***

To the childless wife he gives a home, and gladdens her heart with children.

- Ps. 113

***

[draft]

Hudson Hawk: Your Eye on Hudson

A BLOG

Bad Business in Hudson

If you've been following the local news lately — and it's hard not to — you'll be very aware of all the sinister events that have unfolded in our fair town over the past few weeks. Thanks to the dogged efforts of the Hudson Police and that of the neighbouring Calgary Metro Police, however, it looks like justice will prevail in the sordid murder and murder-for-hire cases that have come to light.

To recap: Mrs. Valerie Stanton of Briar Ridge Stables was shot to death while horseback riding up at Lookout Point. Also targeted for death was one Lisa Stillman of Fairfield Stables. One detail that came to light was that the horse Stanton was riding at the time of her death belonged to Stillman. This raised a troubling question: was Stillman the intended target with Stanton being the unfortunate victim of mistaken identity, or was it all a terrible hunting accident?

Nothing could have been further from the truth, as the culprits turned out to be much closer to home; their reasons much more disturbing. Facing various and sundry criminal charges are: Tanner Gunn, Theresa Haywood, Stanley Belmont, Jesse Stanton, and William Ulrich.

I know what you're probably wondering: Is Jesse Stanton related to Valerie Stanton? The answer is a resounding "Yes". He's the son of the same late Valerie Stanton, and Briar Ridge heir. He's been charged with soliciting a killer-for-hire to murder his mother. His reasons for so doing will probably come to light in the upcoming trial, or not. Whatever his reasons, what makes things all the more troubling is he decided to try to kill Lisa Stillman when the insurance payout for his mother's policy was held up due to the police investigation into her death.

Adam paused as he tried to summarize the facts of the case as he knew them. He stared at his laptop screen, wondering now if he had the right to be typing this story in his blog at all. After all, he knew the people involved. By now Georgie must have told the family at Heartland Ranch the Hudson Hawk was his chosen sobriquet.

An unconscious frown tugged at Adam's mouth. His conscience was nagging him. It had been easier when he could hide behind the anonymity of a screen name; he could pretend there was some distance between himself and the subject of his blog posts. Now...

So while he had the blessing of his parents to continue this blogging endeavour, Adam closed the file without saving it. Instead, he decided to check with Alberta Fish and Wildlife to see if they had anything new to report about the elusive bear that had been implicated in the attack on Herring and the man whose body he and Georgie discovered at the Dude Ranch. Doubtless when it was eventually found, it would be destroyed. Such would be the fate of any wild animal that targeted humans instead of other wild animals.

***

Monday, May 13, 2019

Somewhere on Highway 2, Due North.

"I'm glad she's finally feeling up to having visitors," Rachel said as Lou navigated the SUV to the hospital.

Lou glanced at her, then chanced a peek back at Ben, who was staring out the window at the passing scenery, seemingly lost in his own thoughts.

"It was driving me crazy having to wait," Rachel continued. "I still can't wrap my mind around everything that's happened. It's like some bizarre dream I'm waking up from. Well, nightmare is more like it. Thank God it's over."

"I can't believe everything that's happened, either," Lou quipped, thinking back to the night Amy shot Jesse, and how Chief Parker had been able to tell the rest of the family Lisa was alive.

Rachel's joy at learning her only sister had indeed survived the attempts on her life was tempered by the fact she had been led to believe the opposite.

"I thought I was coming out here to say 'goodbye' to her," Rachel commented, her voice just above a whisper. "I thought I was never going to see her again. And I know I shouldn't be upset the police couldn't tell us the truth right away—to protect her and all that—but I wish..."

"But it's gonna be okay now," Lou said reassuringly, filling in the silence when Rachel did not verbalize the rest of her train of thought. "She'll be so happy to see you two."

The rest of the family had elected to stay back at Heartland for the time being so as not to overwhelm the recovering patient. It was expected Lisa would be discharged within the week, anyway, and Georgie and Katie were already excitedly making plans for a 'Welcome Home' party of sorts, and the imminent arrival of Aunt Evelyn.

From his position in the backseat, Ben quietly spoke up: "I keep going over in my mind the time I spent at Briar Ridge. I remember being jealous of Jesse Stanton at the time because of all the 'toys' he had. He seemed to have anything and everything he wanted. I remember thinking how much I'd love to have a Ducati like his, and how my parents' splitting up meant I might be able to guilt one or both of them into getting me one. Then I thought, hey, maybe my rich aunt could. What she did buy was jumps for Red so I could practice at Heartland. It took me days to finally thank her. Days. What a shallow, ungrateful idiot I was.

"To think... to think Jesse was riding that same damned bike when he shot my aunt..."

"For what it's worth, Ben," Rachel eventually uttered with a smirk, "There's no way I would have been giving you a Ducati back then, no matter how guilty I felt about the divorce, and neither would your Aunt Lisa."

***

South Calgary Health Campus

Lou tapped her knuckles lightly on the door to Lisa's room.

"Yeah, come on in," Jack called from within.

Upon hearing this response, Lou let Ben and Rachel go ahead of her. Despite expecting this visit from her family, Lisa felt a lump forming in her throat at the sight of her sister and nephew, and instant tears flooded her eyes. Rachel crossed the floor quickly to her sister. Lisa readily received the gentle but fervent hug that lasted several seconds.

"Hey, Rachel," Lisa uttered. "Thanks for coming. I'm so glad to see you."

"I thought I'd lost you," Rachel murmured, voice choked with emotion as her eyes brimmed.

"I know," Lisa responded as Rachel released her. "I'm sorry. You know I never wanted to put you—any of you—through that. But the decision to keep you in the dark wasn't mine. I never wanted to cause you any grief—"

"We're just glad you're going to be okay, Aunt Lisa," Ben put in hurriedly, also approaching Lisa for a hug of his own.

"Ben," Lisa said warmly while accepting his embrace, "it's so good to see you."

"Ben's right," Rachel said. "All that matters is you're going to be okay. The people who did this to you are in custody and you're still with us. That's what's important. Oh, my goodness, let me look at you..."

Rachel spent a few moments taking in the bandage that still graced the left side of Lisa's forehead, and then noticed the sling on her arm. What she could not see beneath the hospital gown were the sutures sealing the incision where the chest tube had been inserted, and the additional bandage covering the patched-up bullet wound.

Shaking her head, Rachel said, "I'm so glad you're alive, sis. You look like you've been through hell and back."

"I feel like it, too," Lisa uttered wryly.

Jack rubbed her forearm in a comforting manner at this comment. He could not abide thinking she was in any discomfort.

"Rachel, I'd like you to meet Jack," Lisa said, motioning towards her husband.

"Jack," Rachel said with a wide smile, moving to hug the man her sister married. "At long last, we meet in person. I'm sorry it took something like this to bring us out here."

"Good to finally see you in person, too, Rachel," Jack said heartily, holding her tightly for a few moments before releasing her.

"Hi, Jack," Ben said, reaching over to shake the older man's hand. "It's been a while."

"Yes it has!" Jack rejoined, grasping his step-nephew's hand. "It's good to see you again, man."

"Jack... I want to thank you for being there for my sister when that monster tried to... you know..." Rachel trailed off. "You saved her life."

"Yes, Jack," Lisa said, sending a broad smile in his direction. "My hero..."

Jack did not wish to think about or speak any more of the night he found hitman Earl McCann trying to suffocate Lisa, so he quickly shifted the conversation to a more mundane topic.

"Well, I guess Aunt Evelyn should be getting in soon?" he asked, doing his best to sound upbeat about it.

"Yes, Grandpa," answered Lou, also sensing his discomfort about the former subject. "Her flight gets in tomorrow night."

"Oh, Aunt Evelyn," Lisa groaned, closing her eyes. "She'll never forgive me for putting her through all this!"

"Of course she will," Rachel rebutted. "I talked to her yesterday. Lisa, all she cares about is that you're alive and safe. You said it yourself: the decision to keep what was going on confidential wasn't in your hands. You were at death's door at the time, for heaven's sake! Nobody's blaming you."

At this, Lisa nodded. "Thanks, Rach. I needed to hear that."

"Anytime," Rachel said. "Someone's got to knock some sense into you."

"Right," Lisa said. "And thank you for not making cracks about my 'hard head'."

"Oh, rats! That was going to be my next joke," said Rachel, feigning disappointment.

"Well, I, for one, am glad for your 'hard head', Lis," Jack said with a small smile. He traced a thumb near the bandage below her hairline, once again so grateful the weapon Jesse had used was not as deadly as he intended it to be.

***

A Couple Days Later

Heartland Ranch

"They're here!" Katie cried excitedly, rushing from the porch into the house upon seeing Jack and Lisa pulling up into the yard.

"We're home, Lis," Jack said, putting the truck in park.

"Hmm," Lisa murmured, slowly peeling open her eyes. She had not intended to fall asleep during the drive home, but too many nights of poor sleep in the hospital meant her body craved rest. Jack's steady driving and the purr of the truck's engine proved to be a fairly good natural sedative.

"Wow, how long was I out?" she asked.

"About half an hour," Jack chuckled. "I didn't realise my company was that boring."

"Oh, you," Lisa said, realising he was jesting. Now that she was coming to full awareness after her brief nap, she finally noticed the yard was not quite as empty as it normally was. "Um, Jack... What's with all the cars and trucks..?"

"You have a lot of people who wanted to welcome you home, Lis," Jack explained. "Come on. Let's get you inside."

Jack opened the door on Lisa's side and carefully eased her down. "Slow and steady, now," he advised, gingerly supporting her on the way to the house.

Though she was feeling miles better than when she first woke in the hospital, Lisa allowed Jack this expression of care for her well-being. After all, she knew first-hand how challenging it could be when the person you loved most was resistant to help of any sort.

Almost as soon as she entered the house, Lisa was met by Evelyn.

"Darling," the older woman uttered, taking her niece's face in her hands before hugging her tenderly. "I'm so relieved you weren't taken from us like that... When Jack called me... oh, I thought my heart wouldn't be able to endure it. But you're here. It's a miracle."

"I'm so sorry I had to put you through that, Auntie," Lisa said sincerely.

"Nonsense," Evelyn stated flatly. "Lou and Rachel explained everything. The police did what they had to do to keep you safe and to flush out the guilty parties."

"Then I'm so glad you understand," said Lisa with relief.

"Jack, don't be a stranger," Evelyn chided, at last noticing him. "Come here. I want to kiss the man who saved my niece's life."

"Hello, Evelyn," Jack said, allowing her to give him a peck on the cheek.

Evelyn leaned in to Lisa. "Doesn't he ever shave, darling?" she asked in a low voice, though Jack managed to hear, anyway.

"Only when the mood strikes him," Lisa answered with a chortle, patting Jack's face playfully. "But I love him, anyway."

"Yes," Evelyn said seriously. "And he loves you. And that's really all that matters, isn't it?"

Tim approached just then. "Everybody's waiting in the living room," he announced, somewhat impatiently, then amended his tone. "Is Lisa okay?"

"I'm fine, Tim," Lisa replied. "I just didn't expect something like this when I got home."

"Let's go," Evelyn said perkily. "Can't keep your well-wishers waiting."

Lisa sank into the middle of the couch, deeply touched by the gathering of dear family and friends that afternoon. She was further impressed by the efforts Katie and Georgie put in to decorating the space to enhance the celebratory mood of her return home.

"Do you like what we did, Lisa?" asked Katie with expectant enthusiasm, grinning widely. Georgie stood by, also waiting to hear what Lisa would say.

"It's beautiful, both of you," Lisa responded, taking in the large 'WELCOME HOME, LISA' banner, streamers, balloons, and cheery tea lights. "This was so very thoughtful of you. So special."

Heartened by this praise, Katie zipped over to where Peter stood with Lou and happily told them that Lisa loved her handiwork.

Everyone took time to express to Lisa their happiness that she was going to be okay after her brushes with death. But there were two people in particular Lisa knew she was more than obliged to see and to publicly commend.

"Ty; Scott," Lisa spoke up, grabbing the attention of everyone. The two veterinarians looked uncomfortable under the sudden scrutiny of the others.

"I wouldn't be here if it weren't for your quick actions that day out on the road," said Lisa. "I don't remember any of it, but I'm eternally grateful you stopped and helped."

"Of course, Lisa," Ty said.

"We would have stopped for anyone in distress, Lisa," Scott added. "It just so happened we knew you."

Neither man was able to say anything further, as memories of that incident were still difficult and disturbing.

"We're just glad you made it, Lisa," Ty said.

"Right," Scott said in agreement.

"Thank you, both of you," Lisa said, once again fighting back tears.

An hour or so slipped by. Lisa could feel her energy starting to wane; friends such as Caleb, Jen, Mitch, and Scott made their departure. At length, only the family remained in the living room.

Before it got to be too late, and before Lou lost her nerve, there was something she had to get off her chest. "I know we don't always see eye-to-eye, Lisa," Lou said tentatively, "but the truth is you're very special to me, and to all of us here. It felt like losing my Grandma Lyndy and my mother all over again when we thought the worst had happened to you..."

Lou suddenly could not continue.

"I felt the same way, Lisa," Amy put in. "After my miscarriage, and after everything you shared with me, I was devastated at the prospect I was facing another personal loss... but you're here, and I'm so glad."

"And I..." Georgie started, but was unsure if she could continue. She looked to her mother, who nodded some encouragement. "I didn't know what to think of you when I first met you, Lisa. I thought you were some rich snob who was going to take Jack's time and attention away from me—"

"Oh, Georgie, honey..." Lisa murmured.

"I never got to say I was sorry for that," Georgie went on in a rush. "And Lisa, I'm sorry for all the mean things I said about you. I'm so sorry. I-I never knew my grandparents or my great-grandparents, for that matter, but you've been everything I could have ever wanted in a great-grandmother, and more."

"Thank you for that," Lisa said, eyes misting, looking at the family that had been grafted onto her heart. "Thank you all. And I want you to know I feel the same way. You know, I had a full life before I met Jack. A life I thought I loved. I thought I was living my dream life. But I look back now and see I didn't realise how sad and empty my heart was. I love you all very much. My life and my heart are full now."

***

Later that Evening

Dinnertime was over. Jack helped settle an exhausted Lisa into bed where she dropped off to sleep in minutes. It was early still, and after all the social activity of the day, Jack decided he needed to clear his head for a bit, so he brewed a cup of tea and escaped to the porch.

He had been there only a few minutes when he heard the sure creak of the door. Someone was coming outside and he turned expectantly to see who it was.

"There you are," Rachel said to Jack, softly closing the screen door while exiting the house.

"Hi, there," Jack said amiably from his position on the porch bench. "Have a seat."

"Thank you," Rachel said, and joined him. A few seconds later, she added: "It's every bit as lovely here as Lisa and Ben described, Jack."

Jack merely nodded.

"We haven't had a chance to really talk yet," said Rachel.

"No, we haven't," Jack said in agreement, though he wondered what Rachel might want to talk about.

"It's years too late, but I want to thank you for offering to put Ben up when I was going through my divorce," Rachel said. "At first, I wasn't thrilled with the idea when Lisa told me that 'plans had changed'; that he wasn't going to be at Fairfield; that he was going to be boarding at some place called 'Heartland'. But after Ben got over his own issues, he admitted he actually didn't mind this place so much, and he was sorry he didn't appreciate it enough at the time."

Jack nodded again, thinking back to how sullen Ben had been in those days. "Divorce is never easy on anyone, especially when there's kids in the mix," he said, remembering some of the ways Lou and Amy struggled to cope in the wake of Tim and Marion's divorce.

"I love my sister to bits, Jack," Rachel said. "She's my big sister, you know? I idolized her growing up. I was relieved she would be the one to take over the family business because I sure didn't want to be responsible for it. She seemed to be happy when she married Dan and moved to the U.S., but we both know how that all turned out. That time in her life changed her, Jack, and not for the better. I wish only happiness and love for her, and I'm so glad you're in her life, because it's clear you're the one who can provide those things for her."

"Well, I'm glad she's in my life, too," Jack admitted, though that hardly covered the length and the breadth and the height of things when it came to expressing how he felt about his wife.

"I don't know what fair wind blew you two together," Rachel said, "but I pray you two stick together."

"That's the plan," Jack said, thinking back to that evening at the Open House when he first laid eyes on Lisa Stillman. Never in a million years would he have guessed what the future would bring him after that chance encounter.

"You wouldn't happen to have a brother who's just like you out there somewhere, eh, Jack?" Rachel said with a laugh.

"No, no. Just me," Jack responded with a smile and a quick laugh of his own. "I think they broke the mold when they made me."

Rachel looked over at him, seeing his features in the light streaming from the kitchen window. "I think you're right about that, Jack. My sister is a very lucky woman."

"I think I am the lucky one," Jack said with sincerity. How many people get a second chance at love in their lives?

"Yeah..." Rachel said. "Well, goodnight, Jack. Thanks for loving my sister the way you do. You've saved her life in more ways than you'll ever know."

The younger Stillman sister leaned over and gave Jack a kiss on the cheek.

"Goodnight, Rachel," Jack replied.

***

Epilogue

#heartland #heartland fanfiction #my fanfiction #Bad Business #A Heartland Murder Mystery #Chapter 13 #A Place Called Heartland #Adam Parker #Lou Fleming #Ben Stillman #Lisa Stillman #Jack Bartlett #Tim Fleming #Aunt Evelyn #Amy Fleming #Ty Borden #georgie fleming morris #katie fleming morris #Scott Cardinal #JISA #Jack and Lisa

[awellboiledicicle]

[stumbles in with my pre-passover gummy bears]

GUYS FABLE/ELDEN RING AU THOUGHT

what if Theresa is able to see in other worlds because an outer god chose her and now she’s using the Spire like Marika used the Erd Tree, just in a far more contained and secretive manner?

What if The Tarnished of No Renown is the sibling of Logan and the hero of brightwall? Like long ago one of the Tarnished in Godfrey’s army settled in Albion--against all common sense-- and had kids with a Hero and it spiraled from there. Perhaps the weirdness of the Lands Between contributing to how weird the fourth type of hero is in general.

Imagine if they’d died on the same expedition where Logan faced the Crawler and the damage was just too great to be countered by Hero Blood. All they remember is cold and pain and laughter... followed by darkness. Then, decades later, they awake to the cave they died in. A glitter of gold worming its way from their palm to their chest. With it, an intense need to go somewhere, but where? Enter Theresa. They recognize her, of course they do-- Sparrow spoke of her often. The tone and impression of these talks varied, but she was still a common topic. Mostly good, though. Mostly. She tells them that death, it seems, is no longer their destiny. So she tells them that they must go on a journey, one even grander than their parent went on--far, far afield, beyond the wall of fog even the best cartographers were puzzled by.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Theresa teleports them to the Chapel of Anticipation with no further guidance than “Seek the Elden Ring” and imparting upon them a guild seal so they may grow in experience. 

They get knocked out falling from the cliff and are sick of caves. Just deeply sick of them when they wake up later. 

They assume Varre is a bandit and is just happy to not be instantly attacked. They assume everyone in the Lands Between is either insanely skilled or insanely brave for being outside. Melina chooses them because they seem rather impossibly determined.. and totally not using runes. When she lays a hand upon them, she can see the memories of thousands of beings interwoven into their very being. See the runes sitting untouched as their very soul plucks information from these slain spirits clinging to them and then... consumes it. Becomes stronger from it. She doesn’t know what they are, but she knows them not to be a tarnished. She chooses them regardless because she has... no other real option.

They do honestly, with complete confusion, ask Margit what the fuck he is while they’re fighting though. “You’re too big for a Hobbe, too thick to be a balvarine-- did your mum fuck a troll?” This does nothing to stop Margit’s dislike of them.

The Roundtable just assumes they’re tarnished and.... old. Or just sort of dim. Which is not true, their knowledge base is just.. Albion and Aurora centric. Some Samarkand and northern land info, but not much.

I imagine they wouldn’t wear armor and that would make everyone either impressed or deeply nervous.

Ooh Theresa could appear about midway through their quest to try swaying them to give the physical manifestation of the Ring to her upon quest completion. To ‘safeguard’ as she has the Spire. But Hero here has been learning and growing attached to this place and is reasonably sure the lands between would have some major, major bad news come if the ring physically left. “world in its influence collapsing” bad news. “Scarlet rot running rampant because the greater will isn’t keeping it in check” bad. But it could turn out she was pulling a Fable 3, turning them against everyone else so it would be easier to manipulate them so her outer god could take over. She could probably convince them that they would be countering the god of rot, appearing at a grace in Caelid and talking there. Melina stays hidden during Theresa’s invasions.

Ooh that could spur them trying to gather allies over just killing things, because then there’d be a structure to the land they’d inherit-- a net of influence to air recovery. A reason to apologize for calling Margit’s mother a trollfucker. Especially given they’d find out its Marika at some point and go “oh, well. uh. oops”

Oh no i’m drafting this in my head and it owns bones.

#au ideas #fable #elden ring #Elden Hero