#this would be such a different show if we didn’t have kristen and gorgug like so many iconic moments from both of them

[gods-favorite-autistic]

I think it’s so funny to consider a world where Brennan didn’t pull that batshit ep 2 ending and we just didn’t get Kristen Applebees or Gorgug Thistlespring past ep 2

#no do you have a fucking warrant. no jorjuj. no blimey #no crab/shrimp party. a tragedy truly #this would be such a different show if we didn’t have kristen and gorgug like so many iconic moments from both of them #to think we almost missed trying to fly with a ribbon and the greatest wizard of our age #autism (mads) speaks #fantasy high #dimension 20 #dimension 20 fantasy high #gorgug thistlespring #kristen applebees #d20 #d20 fantasy high

[chockfullofsecrets]

D20 Fantasy High: Making Room

(Read on AO3)

Rating: Gen

Summary: She grunts, presumably shoving at him and not having much success given Fabian’s triumphant snickering. “I said make room-”

Riz pries himself up off the carpet, thinking of moving to help her, when Fabian lets out a startled squeak. Everyone goes quiet.

Fig leans off the bed with truly devilish glee in her tiefling eyes. “Guys, he’s ticklish.”

The Bad Kids try to plan a sleepover, Fabian needs to learn how to share, and Riz is maybe starting to get the hang of this whole friendship thing.

Wordcount: 2.1k

A/N: not to be entirely into D&D on main, but - hey, look, it’s another cool D&D campaign XD shoutout to @hypahticklish for expressing enough interest in this fic to make me want to write it <3

Loose spoilers for the end of Fantasy High Season 1, beware!

---

Riz thinks he’s really starting to get a handle on this whole friendship thing.

Solving a mystery and getting thrown in jail and killing a dragon together aren’t exactly reproducible results, which kind of sucks, but - hey, the six of them are friends now, and they’re hanging out in Fabian’s room on a summer evening, and it’s novel enough to feel like a solved case all on its own.

What’s less satisfying is the amount of missed work they have to catch up on if they want to start as sophomores next year; no one bothered to worry about bringing them homework while they were in actual prison, but all their professors sure seem to care about it now. He gets the feeling that at least part of it is Aguefort trying to keep some degree of respectability after everything that happened with Goldenhoard, but any attempt to reason with him thus far has gotten nowhere but wild-eyed stares and increasingly obtuse lectures on chronomancy and time management. And sure, Riz prides himself on being able to untangle obscure information, but he’s not touching that with a ten foot pole.

They’re all sprawled out on Fabian’s floor, working through assignments with varying levels of fervor ranging from Adaine - actually working with a stack of textbooks nearly up to her shoulder next to her on Fabian’s desk - to Kristen - texting Tracker with a lack of stealth that makes Riz want to grind his teeth a little, even more so than the way she goes bright red and giggles every time her crystal pings - when Fig groans and rolls onto her back.

“You know what?” she says to the room at large, throwing her arms wide. Her hand knocks into her bard notebook, somehow both dusty with disuse and covered in scribbled ballpoint pen sigils. She flips it neatly in the air and elbows it away in Adaine’s direction, earning a half-annoyed yelp. “We should have a sleepover.”

Half of them blink uncomprehendingly, but Kristen drops her crystal in a sudden rush of excitement. “YES,” she shouts. Gorgug, propped against the wall next to her and dozing off over barbarian meditation manuals, startles. “I can show you guys so many cool camp things! We just need a bunch of different colors of yarn and some sticks and - yeah, we can probably skip the holy water to keep the sinners away-”

Riz has - he’s had sleepovers before, if Penny coming over to babysit and finding him crashed out on the couch after a night of reading old case files from his mom counts. He reaches up and straightens his cap, trying to make it look smooth. “Hey, Fabian, do you have coffee here?”

“Wait, wait, hold on a minute.” Fabian, sitting against his giant bed, waves dramatically for all their attention. He looks them over once he gets it, self-importantly adjusting his eyepatch. “Yes, The Ball, we have coffee, we’re not peasants - but sleep over where? Did I miss that part?”

“Uh, here?” Fig says, flinging herself upright. “You’re mom’s super hot - uh, cool, I bet she’d let us do anything.”

“Stop calling my mom hot!” Fabian yelps, glowering for a moment before his chest puffs with familial pride. “Well, we do have at least five guest bedrooms that we could house all of you in-”

“Oh, I don’t need a bed,” Gorgug says hastily. “I’d probably break it, I can just sleep on the floor.”

“Yeah, Fabian, no,” Kristen interjects, gesturing with her staff. Gorgug scrambles to remove the cups they’ve been drinking soda out of from her path. “We’re all supposed to hang out in the same room, that’s kind of the point!” She frowns a little, zeroing in on him. “Have you. Have you never been to a sleepover before?”

Riz hasn’t quite gotten around to making a conspiracy board of how all the specific issues of their messed up childhoods overlap, but he can read the way Fabian startles indignantly loud and clear. “Of - of course I have!” he blusters. “I just - why the fuck would you share a bed if you didn’t have to?”

Adaine scoffs. “Fabian, your bed is enormous, I think we could all fit on it with room for the Hangman left over.”

“No, it’s not!” Fabian scrambles up, chin still raised haughtily, and throws himself bodily on the bed - judging from the way his ankles hang off the edge, he’s starfishing out as far as he possibly can. “I’m - see, I’m a growing boy, I need my space! Cathilda says so.”

Adaine, having claimed the only chair in the room and therefore being the only one at eye level with the mattress, cranes her neck and laughs. “Fabian, you’re covering less than half of the bed. You can just say you’ve never been to a sleepover before, you know.”

Fig stands up and launches herself onto the bed too, landing heavily with the zippers on her leather jacket clanking behind her. “Yeah, you just have to - oof - make room-”

She grunts, presumably shoving at him and not having much success given Fabian’s triumphant snickering. “I said make room-”

Riz pries himself up off the carpet, thinking of moving to help her, when Fabian lets out a startled squeak. Everyone goes quiet.

Fig leans off the bed with truly devilish glee in her tiefling eyes. “Guys, he’s ticklish.”

The room erupts into chaos - Fabian shouting denials, Fig cackling evilly, and Kristen shooting up and banging her shins against the bed before scrambling around to Fabian’s other side. Riz hops up on the desk next to Adaine just in time to watch each of the other girls seize his outstretched arms and start to mercilessly tickle his armpits.

“GAHAHA - no, no, stoHOP-” Fabian flails helplessly between the two of them, still trying to sprawl out over the bed. He manages to wrench his arm free from Fig and shove her away even as he shouts with laughter. “Seacasters are not - ahaaa, haaAA - I’m not ticklish!”

“Oh, yeah?” Kristen taunts. “Then why are you laughing, you - ohshit-”

They’re trying to wrestle him down, but he’s too strong for Fig and too dextrous for Kristen. She lunges for him, red hair flying behind her, and falls straight into his lap.

Fabian catches both of Fig’s wrists in one big hand and uses the other to poke triumphantly at Kristen’s belly, sending her into a fit of cackling giggles. “Aha!” he exclaims triumphantly, struggling into a sitting position. “A Seacaster cannot simply be rousted from his territory!”

All of them know better than to say anything about his dad by now. “Gorgug, come help us hold him down!” Fig demands instead, kicking at Fabian with her platform boots and making him yelp in pain.

Gorgug pulls his headphones all the way off his ears and straightens just enough to take in the tangle of the three of them, looking dubious. “Are you sure? That sounds kind of mean.”

“It’s not a problem if he’s not ticklish, right, Fabian?,” Fig retorts. “And he’s breaking sleepover code by hogging the bed!"

Kristen, still laughing uproariously as she fails to save herself from Fabian’s tickling fingers, somehow manages to shoot Gorgug a pair of finger guns. “Get him, Gorgug!”

Gorgug still looks a little confused - Riz can relate - but he gamely climbs to his feet. “Well, okay.”

He pauses to knock gently on the bedframe, sighing in relief at the heavy thunk that echoes back. “Oh, cool, that’s pretty strong.”

Fig yelps as Fabian lets up on Kristen and starts prodding at her belly instead. “Gorgug, come on!”

“Oh, right,” Gorgug says, and sends the mattress an entire inch to the left as he scrambles on.

“Hell yeah!” Fig cheers as Gorgug climbs on the bed and sweeps Fabian up in a restraining hug. “Sig Figs solidarity!”

Kristen squirms out from between the three of them. “Hey, I’m here too!”

She flops down with a breathy sigh and hugs herself, grinning widely as she catches sight of the identical what-the-fuck expressions that Riz is pretty sure he and Adaine are wearing. “Ugh, I haven’t been tickled in forever.”

Adaine makes a considering sound as Kristen twists back to the battle royale happening behind her. Riz looks over at her, catches one of her ears twitching under the attention before she looks back. “I don’t think I’ve ever been tickled,” she murmurs, a little shy.

Penny’s tickled him before, and maybe his mom when he was little, but yeah, it’s been a while. He shrugs. “You think you’d like it?”

There’s another cry from the bed, and both of them whip around to look. Fig’s looming over a thoroughly trapped Fabian now - just barely, even with her horns - and wriggling her fingers evilly with gleaming eyes. “Are you going to say you’re sorry for breaking sleepover code?”

“There’s - there’s no sleepover code,” Fabian sputters, but he’s grinning sheepishly even as he squirms against Gorgug’s hold. “Gorgug, man, come on, you can’t just betray a fellow member of the Bloodrush team like this!”

“Oh - uh -” Gorgug looks pleadingly at the both of them. “But I’m in the Sig Figs too - does that mean one of you guys is going to be mad at me?”

Fabian barely blinks. “Yes.”

“YES,” says Fig, even louder.

“Oh, come on, you two.” Kristen sits up between Fig and Fabian, poking at both of their sides and cutting their protests off as they suck their lower lips between their teeth with identical wide-eyed looks. Then, with a curious tilt to her head, she reaches around to tickle Gorgug’s side too, grinning as he squeaks. “There are no sides in a tickle fight, everyone knows this.”

Riz forgets that Kristen has three little brothers, sometimes. It’s easy to, until she starts playing peacekeeper between the rest of them.

“Where are all these rules coming from?” Fabian questions indignantly. Adaine makes a sound of agreement next to Riz - is she writing these down?

Oh, who’s he kidding, he’s probably going to ask her for a copy afterwards.

Fig smirks. “Well, I think the person with their hands free should get to enforce the rules. Like so.” She reaches for the thin tank top Fabian’s wearing and scribbles her fingers over his belly, crowing in delight as he shrieks. “Not ticklish, huh? Who’s ticklish now, bitch?”

“You - ahaha, haaa, fuck - anyone’s ticklish when they’re being restrained!” Fabian insists through panicked laughter, wriggling for all he’s worth. Riz squints - maybe it’s just the rogue homework he’s been doing lately, but it looks like Gorgug’s not even holding him that tight.

He shrieks again as Kristen bounces excitedly and reaches for him too. “Nonono, NOHOHO - Kristen, ahaha! You said - eheheee, stop - you said no sihihides!”

“These are your hips, Fabian. And no sides doesn’t mean you can’t gang up on people,” Kristen sticks her tongue out in concentration, squeezing at one of his hips and then the other. “Hey, say you’re ticklish.”

“What? No - hahaha - shit, shiHIHIT-” Fabian starts to really thrash under their teasing - Riz catches him elbowing Gorgug neatly in the gut, but their barbarian absorbs the blow like it’s nothing. Riz tries not to feel jealous and doesn’t entirely succeed.

Kristen smiles beatifically from cheek to freckled cheek. “The truth’ll set you free, brother.”

Fabian shakes his head frantically, catching sight of Riz and Adaine by his desk through teary eyes. “The Ball - The Ball, help me, this isn’t - ahahaha, nonoplease - it’s not fair!” he pleads through the widest smile Riz has seen on him so far, which is saying something. “Don’t you care about justice?”

Fig looks over at them too, now, hair slipping from her braid and fangs on full display as she beams. “Yeah, you two, get over here or you’re next! You’re missing out on the sleepover fun!”

“Oh,” Adaine says uncertainly. “I didn’t know this was part of it.”

She looks over at Riz - not that he knows any better, but he’s absolutely not going to cop to it. “Oh, yeah, tickle fights,” he blusters. “Definitely part of sleepovers. To, uh, tire everyone out.”

Adaine looks out of the window at blue skies just barely starting to blush pink and gets a small, quiet grin on her face that he can’t help but return. “Oh, okay,” she says. “Riz, are you ticklish?”

Oh. Oh, no.

Riz stiffens. It doesn’t seem like anyone else has heard Adaine’s question, maybe he can get under the bed before any of them notice -

He. He could, is the thing, he’s an awesome rogue, but - out here seems pretty fun too. “That’s more of a hands-on investigation thing,” he shoots back, and leaps for the bed before she can catch hold of him.

He is, after all, an investigator first and foremost, and there’s more room to be made on that mattress.

#tickling #dimension 20 #fantasy high #riz gukgak #fabian seacaster #figueroth faeth #kristen applebees #adaine abernant #gorgug thistlespring #chocfic #i really don't know why i decided to start with writing all six of them but uhhhh i hope the characterization is okay?

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 15

Love Wins!

Welcome to an insanely chaotic episode of Fantasy High--even by the very high standards of this show.  How chaotic you may ask? Well, the first thing that happens is that Bill Seacaster point blank shoots Gilear to death for being in a relationship with Hilariel. Full dead. He is full dead. Strangely, his plan to bring him back as a janky devil does not do much to comfort Fig. Imagine that.

Bill’s pirates are looting the Bottomless Pit (Gorthalax’s domain in Hell) and Vraz orders Fig to make them stop. When she instead orders Vraz to eat her ass, Vraz nullifies all warlock deals Gorthalax made and brings none other than Johnny Spells (and his greaser pals) to join the fight!

Really, this fight is insane and it’s better served by a highlight real than a play by play so I’m just gonna give you some bullets:

All the PCs rolled super low initiative this fight which really kinda screwed them. Like Fabian was down to 16 HP one point and it was like, “Lol, this is the end of round 1.” YIKES.

A big part of this fight was just surviving long enough to get to the second level of hell and rescue Riz’s dad which I think was probably good for morale because the thought of this fight dragging on for more than a couple of rounds exhausts me. 

Fabian rolls off against Johnny right off the bat for the Hangman’s loyalty and Fabian wins with a 25 (and by coming out the gate with the word ENSLAVED which isn’t the word *I* would have used but a 25 is a 25 I guess).

He also has to contend with fighting Allistair who has a massive hole in his head filled with fire from Wicklaw eating his brain. It seems like Chungledown Bim is in hell too based on how Allistair keeps saying he’s gonna get him so he can shit in Fabian’s mouth. Of course, Fabian gets the better of him, but not before he deals out a fair bit of damage. 

Adaine uses an Arcane Hand plus her portent roll to just whole-ass throw Johnny off the ship. Like, he gets back up but it’s so funny to instead of fighting an enemy to just throw him off a set piece (see eg: Bloodkeep ep2).

Kristen Revivifies Gilear and Bill, the mercurial sunuvabitch is like, “We love the same woman! I just want her happy!” and gives him a gun. Kristen immediately is like, “Bro, you need to hide,” and Gorgug protects him while he does so (in a sarcophagus that has a 50/50 shot of being launched as ammo). 

Penelope shows up to the fight, eyes all black, wearing a shredded prom dress, and with shards of silver embedded in her forehead like a crown. Dayne and Daybreak also join the fight as messed up Harvestmen! It’s a veritable Smash Bros lineup of people the Bad Kids have killed!

Adaine and Fabian are christened the “Posh Squad” which is important to me, not to the fight. 

Adaine gets to counterspell a counterspell from Penelope, one of the sexiest things you can do in D&D.

Fabian declares toxic masculinity dead. Shortly afterward, he makes Brennan eat a die when Daybreak tries to Frighten Fabian, a condition he is immune to due to his eyepatch I gather based on the table reaction. 

Daybreak’s punishment in hell is a complete lack of self-awareness of why he’s there. He still thinks he should be sipping Mai-Tai’s in corn heaven with Helio while Kristen and Ragh are attacking him with gay spit (their words, not mine). Gay spit and, also, a ton of radiant and thunder damage.

Ragh gets some emotional catharsis by getting to body Dayne before Gorgug decapitates him. Very important step in the stages of grief. Decapitating the source of said grief. 

Penelope gets Sparta-kicked off the edge of the boat by Fabian after Ayda dispels her protective globe and Riz shoots Daybreak again for old times sake. Unfortunately, Penelope Misty Steps back up and Daybreak is hurt but not killed. Ayda does a cool Dr. Strange teleportation thing and does a bunch of damage to both of them. Fabian finishes off Penelope with a sheet/sword combo and between Booming Blade and a Psionic Blast (does she have this ability as a Bard or as a Warlock? Relatedly, when she felt something leave her was that her Warlock deal being nullified or was she feeling the deals leave her since she is sort of the temporary Gorthalax?) Fig destroys Daybreak. Johnny just falls off the ship with no PC intervention because he sucks. 

Bill also falls off the ship but Fig (with an assist from Gorgug) saves him and steals a scroll from Vraz on the way back up. By the by, earlier in the fight, she also had Baby Invisbly steal a random item from her. 

Anyway, as they reach the end of the end of the fight, Bill loads Riz into a canon (!) and shoots him into the city, hopefully towards his dad (to the distress of his party). He crashes through the window in a familiar looking building and, when he finds a hallway that he’s pretty sure leads to his dad, he goes towards it. 

He sees a familiar light coming out of a doorway (the interrogation room light) and a doorway next to it that is slightly open with steel thrones in it. There’s a two-way mirror between the two rooms and if he goes into the open one, he can see who is in with his dad. After checking for illusions and finding none, he stealthily walks in and sees, in the other room, his dad with a hulking pit fiend (30 ft tall, winged, almost dragon-y devil).

The pit fiend is questioning Pok about any regrets he had in life and Pok answers very uncharacteristically from the man we saw in the video saying he had nothing but high hopes for baby Riz. He says he had no regrets, his job was just a job, and that he only had a kid because Sklonda wanted one before going into a snarling goblin rage. The pit fiend smiles at that and says that Pok has promise so they won’t create a lemure out of him (a lemure is a weak, blobby devil). Two devils in the room with them whip him unconscious and then leave the room to go send more people to deal with Bill.

Riz Misty Steps into the room and does a self-imposed Wisdom check to steady himself after what he just heard--Nat 20 baby. Then, he opens his Briefcase of Holding, ready to scoop his dad into it when, the two lesser devils open the door and catch him in the act. But Riz persists in the scooping. They try to grapple him and he rolls a Nat 1 to avoid it. He *still* tries to get him dad. But then he notices, his gun is missing.

BLAM. The devils heads are blown clean off. He turns and he sees his dad has taken the gun--his gun originally--and shot the devils. Pok, who is amazed that Riz is there and no longer feigning apathy for the situation asks for an extraction into an earpiece, causing a halo to appear over his head and a beam of holy light to come down like a tractor beam.

“Wait,” says Riz. “You’re an undercover angel?”

“You got it, kid.”

Murph goes feral. The table goes feral. I go feral. What a way to end an episode!  

And now for an all-Dad round of superlatives:

Detention

Bill Seacaster for KILLING GILEAR 

I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain myself here. 

Honor Roll

Pok Gukgak for Officially Joining the Fantasy Fathers of the Year Club

Here either. 

I will, however, add a Hell Yeah!

Random Thoughts

If you haven’t seen it yet, the trailer for S5 of Dimension 20 just dropped and I won’t spoil it but, from the looks of it, it is gonna be a doozy.  

“Do not metagame with my freaking Dad!” Oh to have the support of an NPC Emily Axford has decided to imprint upon.

Gorgug: It’s been one year. We’re sophomores. 

“We support you as a DM and as your friend but also you’re our enemy.”

I think it’s very interesting that with just a little space and time from his dad, Fabian is finally having the proper reactions to his dad doing what I will charitably call shenanigans.

The level of distress and outrage from Emily when Gilear got shot was just *chef’s kiss*. I aspire to create an NPC that provokes that level of reaction from one of my players. Similar energy in a different direction from Ally when Daybreak attacked Tracker.    

“Adaine, the jocks are being feisty! Get out of there!”

Vraz calls Fig “the Faithless” as her devil title and she insists on instead being called, “the InFaethable”. I wanna know how long Emily’s been sitting on that one or whether she came up with it on the spot. 

Fabian upon seeing Johnny: Fuck off dude. I have too much going on right now. 

Brennan being the eternal DM mood: How do I get out of this?

Very wild how little time has passed since Leviathan. Like, Fabian’s had this whole arc and grown so much but, like, OF COURSE Allistair still wants to murder him! It’s been like two days. 

“I want to crumple up Gilear like a wrapper.”

A seven is a Murph 10.

The very specific way Brennan does foley for sword fighting (“Clang! Cling! Clang!”) is so funny to me. 

Cannot overstate how much of a power move it was for Kristen to go, “I’ve been PRAYING FOR YOU,” at Daybreak and knock him on his ass. 

I feel like I bring this up all the time but I love when Brennan is counting dice for a ton of damage and all the PCs are BSing reasons that it’s not a big deal like, “He’s just getting D4s,” or “Well I should get advantage for the reason just made up,” with everyone else fully playing along. ”

Allistair Ash, man. He is fascinating to me. I am so curious about what Brennan had planned for him originally because I feel like we barely scratched the surface before things took a TURN. He had two little moments in this ep that made my heart break for him a little: (1) When he says to Fabian, “If I die, I just come back a little bit worse but, if you die, you’re stuck down here with me.” and (2) when Fabian kills him and Bill grabs his soul and is like, “You know it’s gonna cost you X gold to revive you,” and he sighs and says, “Put it on my tab I suppose.” Like, I know he spent all ep trying to kill Fabian but I can’t help but be like, poor guy. He just has this pathos in his haplessness. I’m surprised Fabian didn’t make more of an effort to connect with him instead of being like, kind of like, “I will throw hands if I must.” Talking is a free action my dude. Anyway, I would love to see Brennan’s DM notes for this guy.   

Lou was really doing some expert D&D with all the second winding and bonus actioning and burning spell slots for extra damage he was doing. He was like, “My initiative is trash so I have to do approximately a million damage per turn.”

Lol at Ayda asking if it’s weird to talk about sex stuff in front of friends in a group that involves both Kristen and Adaine. 

Fig wishing she could do something cool in front of Ayda as if Ayda didn’t try to flood Hell on her behalf last week. My girl. You’ve already locked that down.

Not really an issue that’s we’ll run across during the run of FH but tieflings live 20-40 years longer than humans according to the official D&D lore. So lets say Fig lives to be 120 years old. And let’s say she sticks with her high school girlfriend and marries her. It’s possible they die at around the same time and then Ayda has to Deal With That in her next life but that’s not what I’m interested in. What happens if you’re a full elderly woman and your partner phoenixes into a child? What are the ethics of that? How do you deal with that? Chronomancy?

The horrified, “Love wins!” from Daybreak.

 Is there a reason the viewing room Riz was in had thrones in it or is Hell just very about the ~aesthetic~

Every time a DM asks for a HP total, my entire being clenches in prep for a Power Word Kill. 

“I’m gonna need a Dexter--”/”Counterspell.”

“You guys murdered me too but we hashed it out.”

I totally forgot that the Bad Kids lied that Ragh had shat his pants until the moment Adaine was saying it this episode. Freshman Year was WILD.

Also, just wanna take a second to talk about the elevation of Ragh from this side-note bully to a fully fledged, likeable character with depth and and an arc and gay spit. D&D is crazy. 

Summoning Boggy via Bloody Mary is such a delightful image. 

So, Kalina is the one that led Riz down the path that led to him finding out Pok is an Undercover Angel (!!!), which means one of three things: (1) She knew but miscalculated hard, (2) she didn’t know and made a different but also big miscalculation, (3) she did know and she’s doing some kind of 4-D chess thing we don’t know about yet. 

Ayda hitting Fabian with a portent and then swooping in and saving Adaine. So clutch. What a good NPC to befriend.

Speaking of, I think we all kinda figured, but Brennan officially said on Twitter or the Discord (I don’t remember which) that Ayda is autistic. Like, I was pretty sure but I didn’t wanna assume.

Lol at the absolute lack of respect Kalvaxus got in this episode. 

Pok as an Undercover Angel is SO GOOD. Like, I didn’t think he was really bad for a second but I never could have guessed he was an UNDERCOVER ANGEL. That’s such a dope combination of words. Undercover Angel (which my computer keeps trying to correct to undercover agent which isn’t wrong to be fair). Man. I love this. I love this for me and I love this for Riz. Riz deserves this. After so much crap in his life and so many mind games from Kalina and all this turmoil, he deserves to know that not only is his dad a good person who loved/loves him, he’s SO good that he’s an ANGEL and he was such a good spy in life he still is a secret agent in death. God, what a reveal. I can’t believe Riz got Spy Kids-ed TWICE by the same parent. Can’t wait to hear what exactly is going on with him.

Wait, what’s goblin heaven like? Which god is sanctioning this? Who is he working for exactly?

This episode, Kristen and Gorgug rolled 1 Nat 20 each, while Riz, Fabian, and Brennan each got 2. On the flipside, Adaine got 2 Nat 1’s, Fig and Fabian each rolled 1 that was cancelled, and Riz rolled 1 (in addition, Murph rolled two more which were lair actions and one of which was cancelled by a luck point so they don’t really count but it was very funny so I wanted to note it).

#fantasy high #fantasy high live #fantasy high spoilers #dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #wow a recap that isn't a million pages for once #turns out I can do it

[titanias-stolen-shoes]

Crossing Paths: Part Ten

Summary/Prompts: Ayda’s world turned upside down in the span of a day. With her internship at the Cross Points Public Library, absent mind but ever-present father, nothing feels out of place. That is until she finds a journal in the library she can’t read and soon after a wild assortment of kids come in, asking for her help. Together they work to figure out their dreams, the journals, and whether they can figure out a way to help their otherworldly counterparts get back home.

First || Previous ~ Read On AO3

-

Ayda sat in her desk chair, the happiness of her birthday party wearing off as she glanced at her phone. Garthy had gone back to the Golden Gardens and there had been no word from everyone else. She was up bouncing anxiously on her toes as she waited for her phone to buzz.

Twenty minutes after Garthy left her phone started to buzz and she grabbed it, quickly answering Fig’s call.

“Thank God you answered. I hate to push urgency on you, but Riz and Raugh need a first aid kit and we used the ones we had on Fabian—”

“Don’t say it like it’s my fault!”

“I’m not! I don’t know if you have one but if you have to buy one, I’ll pay you back, but can you please hurry back to the library. And a shirt if you can spare one.”

“I’ll be there soon.”

She hustled to the kitchen, rooting through one of the cabinets and grabbing the first aid kits along with a few other medications. She was almost out the door before she turned, going to Arthur’s study. Predictably, he was still awake.

“Come in!” he called. “Ayda. What can I do for you?”

“I’m going to meet up with my friends.”

“Oh, an adventure is it? When will you be back?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Alright, then.” He turned back to his desk. “Come back before sunrise or call me if you don’t.”

She was turning before he finished his sentence, taking the keys and speeding over to the library. Riz, Ragh, Fig, Adaine, Tracker, and Kristen were in the boiler room using their phones for light as they looked over Riz and Ragh. Ragh looked better off between the two—having a black eye, busted lip, bloody nose, and twisted ankle and still managing to smile when he saw her.

Riz, on the other hand, looked like he was barely holding on to consciousness. His head was resting on Kristen’s lap and his hand pressing against his side, shirt soaked with blood. Luckily for her she had brought both kits—one more extensive than the other. She dropped the basic kit with Tracker and Ragh who nodded and started to clean him up and the bigger one with Kristen.

“What happened?”

Adaine, who was holding the flashlight for Kristen shifted his head to her lap, sighed, and said, “Ragh got into a fight with one of the guards defending Fig.”

“He shouldn’t have tried to hurt her—”

“Don’t talk, you’ll make this take longer.”

“Sorry, Tracker.”

“Yeah, I managed to distract him the first time to let Riz get over the gate,” Fig knelt next to Ayda, aiding Kristen with her phone’s flashlight. Kristen was careful cutting his shirt open and the hand that had been pressed to his side was now clutching for a hand to hold and Adaine grabbed it, squeezing. “It was easier than I thought. I just pretended to be an old lady looking for help and he bought it. I know we should have just let Riz figure out a way to leave by himself, but he was trapped. As soon as it looked like one guard was leaving another one would show up.”

“You should have left,” Riz groaned.

“Do not talk right now.” Kristen grabbed the first aid kit and started to clean the cut. It was jagged and angry, not bleeding anymore but crusted in dried blood.

“I didn’t know what else to do so I put on a different disguise and started making noise to distract them but they wouldn’t stop. So, I tried to climb the fence and that really got their attention. They pulled me down and tossed me to the ground and then Ragh tackled him and I ran.”

“He didn’t stand a chance,” Ragh said, earning a glare from Tracker.

“He did which is why you look like this.” Tracker turned to Ayda, brow furrowed as she saw Kristen working. Most of the blood was gone and she was now focused on cleaning the cut. “Is there an ice machine or something around here?”

“In the breakroom. The door should be unlocked, but if it’s not just call down.” Tracker nodded, grimacing as Riz’s face contorted in pain, but no noise was made.

Fig frowned, pale under the harsh light though Ayda suspected she would be pale regardless. “Ragh fighting was enough to distract them, but Riz wasn’t as careful as before and got cut on one of the spikes, fell, and hit his head. He ran and we both hid while it died down. I think they gave chase, but I didn’t hear anything.”

“Fights break out all the time there. I don’t think—”

“Kristen…” Riz growled.

“It’s not my fault you decided to be stupid and not watch where you climbed.” Despite her harsh tone, Ayda could see the worry on her face. Clean and disinfected, it was easy to see it wasn’t that deep, but it was long, winding from his ribs to past his navel.

“You both should be fine to go back if you want to just don’t go near Garthy’s place again.” She paused, turning to face Fig. “Do you still have that pendant?”

“Yeah, it’s in my pocket.”

“Did anyone see it?”

“I don’t think so, why?”

She pulled on her own necklace, the pendant that had been firmly tucked into her shirt showing. “Garthy gave me this today—it would let me go to the Golden Gardens without being hassled since they would know I’m expressly under Garthy’s protection. If anyone had seen yours it could have been worse for you.”

She turned her pendant over, then looked at Ayda’s. “They’re exactly the same. I wonder why that is.”

Before Ayda could answer, the trick door was pulled open as Fabian and Gorgug walked in carrying bags full of food. At the same time, Tracker walked back in with a bag of ice and gave it to Ragh. “Twenty minutes on, twenty minutes off.”

Upon seeing Riz and everyone crowded around him, Fabian went pale, hustling over. “How is he?”

“Concussion is still pretty bad and this is unfortunate, but he’ll be fine.”

“That’s good,” Gorgug said, shifting the food toward the workbench. “Can he eat?”

“Not right now. Right now, he needs to rest.” Kristen placed the gauze dressing on and secured it in place with tape before leaning back, looking up at the ceiling. She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly and Tracker sat next to her, rubbing her back.

“I can’t rest,” he grumbled, though his grip on Adaine’s hand had lessened.

“Sure, tough guy. Adaine, lift him up slowly so he can take this.”

She lifted him to a sitting position and took the medicine, though it looked like it took a lot of effort for him to do so. Immediately after he closed his eyes and went to sleep.

Gorgug started to walk around, handing out the snack food to everyone. “Did anyone get his clue?”

“Yeah,” Fig reached into her pocket and pulled out a business card. It was shiny, glossy with two words on it: Bain Cerafastes.

It was passed around until it stopped at Fabian and he frowned. “I know what this is.”

“Other than an anagram for your name?” Adaine asked, leaning back to avoid getting crumbs on Riz’s face.

“Yeah, it’s a big bank here in Leviathan. My father keeps a lot of his money here because they don’t ask too many questions.”

“And you got offended when Gorgug said your dad was shady,” Tracker said.

“It’s rude to point it out. My point is that if it’s there, then I should be able to get it fairly easily.”

“I hope it’s easier than Riz’s,” Ragh said, shifting his bag of ice to his lip. “I don’t mind getting into a fight, but I don’t think I can get into another one so soon.”

“It would be just like Riz to put his book into a stupid hard to reach place.”

Kristen looked at his cut again, leaning back against Tracker. “If it’s easy to get then at least Riz will have some time to rest. He won’t like it but he’ll be off his feet for at least a few days from the concussion alone.”

“We should find somewhere to stay until he’s better,” Adaine suggested. “How much money do we have?”

“I can pay for a hotel room,” Fabian said dismissively. “The real question is where.”

Ayda looked down at her pendant then back at them as they debated where they would get the least amount of resistance bringing their unconscious friend to.

“If you don’t mind going back, I know a place you can stay.”

#fantasy high #fantasy high live #fantasy high fanfic #i wrote something! #crossing paths #titania's stolen queue

[fosterthebonelessduck]

Is that my anxiety or music causing my heart to rattle?

@allys-dicediety

Prompt 1: Gorgug/Zelda first date from Zeldas POV

Zelda reaches for her phone automatically as it vibrates softly, only noticing it since her hands are resting atop it inside of the pocket of her drawn-up hoodie. Usually she’d be in the woods with Sam or Rachel but they’d been growing apart ever since her rages became more frequent, and even though her parents didn’t want her missing out on life by coming home early, she was resting her bed listening to music and centering.

As the sound of screeching bass chords rips through her earphones, she takes her phone out of her pocket and sees an undetailed notification from SocialGem. Frowning, she flicks the Crystal open and first notices the picture of Gorgug. The photo is of him on the first day of school, backpack on and metal flower in hand doing a thumbs up and a half-smile, like he’s trying not to show too much teeth. Gorgug Thistlespring has sent you a friend request. Her heart pounding, she accepts the request quickly. He’s not going to like you if you’re so desperate. Then unfriends him in a blind panic. But now he’ll think you don’t like him- you deleted him. She quickly presses on the add friend button. Still too desperate! Her hands shaking, and through her head racing with conflicting thoughts of insecurity, anxiety and Gorgug she keeps obsessively pressing the add friend and delete request in quick succession, panicking and spiraling as she gets up and paces through her room and around her bathroom and back.

Zelda finally stays her hand when a ding pops through, and a message appears.

GORGUG THISTLESPRING This person isn’t in your contacts, would you like to add them? *Good. Not not much> *Not not much> I didn’t mean to type not much, I meant to say good. My semester is going good.> I’m in trouble? lol? Like, do you…> lol...what?> Gods above, why can’t I just get flirting! What does he want me to say? Is this a thing? Um> lol> Forget about the toilet thing> That didn’t happen> Something else happened> I took a pause from the conversation for a different reason. Not the toilet, forget about the toilet thing I said.>

Zelda quickly gathers her stuff and peeks her head out of her room, laptop in hand. “Mum! I’m going out to Basrar’s with a friend, also I uh, I dropped my phone in the toilet so don’t worry too much!” Her mum tells back, sounding unaffected, “Okay, sweetie, have fun, don’t be back before ten!” On my way to Basrar’s right now lol> Hope that you like banana sundaes because I also like them and then that would be a thing we had in common>

“Uh, uhm, you… you look…” he looks down at his phone, “nice.” “Are you bored?” “No, no. No.” “What did you say?” “I said you look nice.” “Oh. Cause, uh-“ “I’m sorry. I’m nervous.” “It’s cool… I-I’m nervous too. I, uh, I ugh, your friends are, like, popular and loud…” “They’re really loud” Fabian laughs, fig plays Bass with a bow “Sometimes I just feel like they’re just so loud all the time and I would just love it quiet.” “Yeah, I get that. My family is super, uhm, loud too. Uhm. And I’m like, the least loud, uhm, one.” “That’s, uh, me… too. I don’t… I like to be quiet. Should we get some ice cream?” “Yeah!” Zelda smiles. Basrar swirls over, “Ah! Hello to the young couple, ah congratulations on… is this some sort of anniversary? I notice you have a flower?” “Oh, yeah…” Gorgug looks at the rose “I actually just s- I was- uh…” Zelda panics and instinctively munches on it. “Okay. Uhm…” “I’m part goat, so I can, like, eat super anything…” “Yeah. Uh, do you want more flowers?” “No.” “Oh, okay.” “No. But if you wa- If you’re gettin’- or do you want some?” “Can we a sundae with some flowers on it?” Gorgug asks Basrar.

“I can only do ice cream, is the thing. So I can do, like, a- a flower flavour-” “Okay.” “-but I can’t. I do very specific wishes, okay. So…” “I get it.” Gorgug smiles at her, as if she’s in on something, and Zelda swears she can almost forget her knotted stomach if he would just keep looking at her like that. “Okay.” Basrar says, sounding miserable. “Whaaa- yeah. Whatever, uh, this flower flavour sounds good.” “Uh, flower is okay, do you wish to use your wish for ice cream later or is someone going to pay?” “I can, uh, I’ll pay.” Zelda offer immediately. “I got it, I got it. I can- I’ll pay. It was my idea, so, yeah.” Gorgug says quickly and Zelda looks furtively down from his broad smile. “Uh, okay.” She looks at Gorgug, anxiety building again. “Yeah, my family all worship, um, the god of wine and ecstasy-“ “Oh.” “Um, and I-“ “Cool.” “I’m, um, I’m training to be a battle dancer, and-“ “Battle Dancer?” “Yeah, sort of my ancestors would go wild in the hills, in forests, and they would, um, drink wine and experience a deep ecstasy, and they would, um, rend men limb from limbs with their hands.” “So cool.” “Really?” Zelda says, surprised, “So-some people think it makes me, like, a freak.” “Oh.” Grogug pauses, “I don’t think so, I think it’s cool.” “Rad.” Zelda breathes, a small smile forming. “Yeah.” “Uhm, that’s why I thought it was weird when you flipped out on Ragh, it was just that I got super, um, like when you flipped out it’s like, that’s… hot.” Zelda confesses. “Oh.” Gorgug looks at her, wide-eyed. “Because I also…” Zelda starts explaining. “What?” Gorgug asks, taken aback. “No…” Zelda laughs wrily, “I-It’s stupid…” “No it’s not…” Gorgug says quickly, “I mean, cool. That’s awesome.” “Yeah…” Zelda says softly, retreating back into her hair, “Whatever.” “That’s really awesome.” “I just, like, uh- I flip, like-“ “Do you flip out?” “Yeah, I have to. I have to practice with Porter, uh, because I can’t be in the room with regular barbarian classes ‘cause I flip out too hard for the other barbarians.” “Really?” Gorgug asks, intrigued. “Yeah. ‘Cause it’s like a- like a divine thing where it’s like powered by the god of wine and, uh, and ecstasy. And so there’s a- it gets really, uh, disturbing, what I have to go through…” She trails off. “I bet it’s awesome.” Gorgug smiles and Zelda smiles back at him, a little sheepish. His face quickly turns serious as he looks down into his lap, and she frowns, confused as anxiety starts creeping in again. “Hey, um, like, this feels like an annoying thing to ask but do you, uh, do you know Penelope?” Oh, god, what if he likes Penelope and he thinks we’re friends so he can get to her through me? “Oh. Not super well. She asked me to hang out earlier today, but uhm…” “Okay, ‘cause she’s been doing some weird...stuff. Me and my friends were just, like, kinda noticing…” Oh, thank god, he doesn’t like her… is he… concerned? For me? “Yeah, I didn’t super get it, she actually asked me about you, “Why?” “And like, if we had, like, hooked up at all, or…” “Oh.” “I dunno, she like thought… “ Zelda trails off, ”it was weird.” They both laugh awkwardly. “It was weird.” “So weird.” Gorgug agrees. “I haven’t hooked up with anybody, so.” Zelda fiddles with her hoodie strings, unsure why she can’t get her mouth to just stop. “Oh, yeah, I uh-I-hkum, I know what you’re thinking, but yeah, me neither. I just like this jacket, and stuff…” “But is she, like, weird. Is she not cool?” “I don’t think, she’s like maybe.” Gorgug sighs. “I don’t wanna, like, freak you out, but I think she’s like, maybe, like, a psycho… uhm…” “Weird.” “Killer person? Like, she might be doing some crazy stuff, like putting people in… stuff.” “Oh, I’ll super- she asked me to hang out tomorrow- but I’ll… super not.” “Wait. Whe- uh, yeah, maybe you should, but also where did you- she, uh, say that she wanted to hang out?” “Just like, at school.” “Okay… cool.” Gorgug pauses, “What kinda music d’you like?” “Um, I like a lotta different stuff… screamo, I like emo, I like punk and, like, some pop-punk I like…” Zelda smiles, listing all of her favourites as she revels in being the only thing in Gorgug’s attention. “Um, what about you?” “The same stuff.” “Awesome.” She smiles, and they talk about how different metals seem to make their rages have a different vibe. Gorgug is sweet and attentive, the ice cream is cold, although they don’t eat a sundae but now flower-flavoured ice cream is their thing. He doesn’t seem to listen to a lot of music, but his enthusiasm is super cute and she’s already half-made a mix-tape for him by the time he offers her the last few spoons of the ice cream. Her heart seems calm around him, and the butterflies are slowing down too. She really likes him a lot, and despite their weird date, she’s glad he finally asked her because she almost thought he would have lost interest with his newfound popularity.

As she glances at the clock above the counter, she smiles sadly. “It’s getting late.” She half-smiles and Gorgug looks like he’s sad about that too. Please walk me home, please walk me home. Her mind races and she clenches her jaw in an effort to get it to shut up. Standing up she waves at his loud but harmless friends, “Alright, well, it’s getting late and my parents get mad at me if I, like, get home too early because they’re like live life, you know, rip your clothes off, feel the rush of blood and the warmth of what it means to really live and I’m like, Dad, shut up,” she laughs wryly, “shut up.” “Right.” Gorgug nods, having got up as she explained. “Um, my parents are gnomes.” “What?” Zelda asks, taken aback. “You guys should go home together!” Kristen shouts, slurring as she stumbles up from her seat. Zelda panics, terrified that Gorgug will laugh off Kristen and her, because she wants that so bad. “I, uh, I gotta go!” “Oh, okay,” Gorgug nods, eyes big. “It was super nice to-“ “Yeah.” Gorgug nods, happy, “I’ll see you at school tomorrow.” “Yeah. I’ll see you at school.” “Awesome.” Gorgug says easily. “Awesome.” She echoes “Awesome.” Gogug says again. “Bye.” She gulps and runs off quickly, her heart racing. Half a block away she puts in her earphones and slows to a steady walk, listening to some older Screamo and thinking about Gorgug. When she glances behinfd her after a while, her senses going off she lets out a screach as she sees a flaming motorcycle gaining on her. Zelda runs, taking a sharp left but the motorcycle slows down and loops around right apparently not after her at all. She calms the rising rage and breathes slowly, switching to emo music for the rest of the way home.

#This format is kicking my butt #google doc link attached #@allys-dicediety #dim20exchange #zelda donovan/gorgug thistlesprin #zelda’s pov

[drinkingdeadpeopletea]

Okay @hoarding-stories tagged me in this like several weeks ago and it’s been sitting in my drafts ever since but here we go. The “ten DIFFERENT things” really killed me here, but maybe its good, because otherwise there would be at least 3 critical role characters on here and it’s good to get some diversity. I’m also counting the different campaigns of critical role and dimension 20 as part of the same “thing.”

Name ten favorite characters from ten different things (books, tv, film, etc.) then tag ten people.

1. Fjord from Critical Role. Shocking no one who follows this blog. But I have loved this character since the second he opened his mouth and I feel it is a genuine honor to get to watch the journey he is going on in this show. He’s just the right mix of practical and chaotic, so good hearted while still being a deeply flawed character, and I just love him so much.

2. Riz Gukgak from Fantasy High. I maintain that Kristen and Gorgug were the characters I loved as soon as I saw, Fig Fabian and Adaine were the ones who I was skeptical of at first but came to love and appreciate as I saw their depths later in the season, and Riz was somehow both. I love his cleverness and his determination and his love for everyone around him, and the scene where he got his dad’s message is the one time in the show that I fully cried. Chaotic good, bitch!

3. Hardwon Surefoot from Not Another DnD Podcast. Jake Hurwitz came into MY house and created a character who is brave and tough and also a dumbass with a pride problem, and who is kind of an asshole but is gradually softening due to his sunshiney found family. And then he had him break down in tears as soon as he was alone because he was so worried about Moonshine getting Crick Rot and at that point it was all over for me. 

4. Reynie Muldoon from the Mysterious Benedict Society. Moving on from TTRPG characters now, I re-read these books at the beginning of the summer so just how good they are and just how much I love Reynie are very fresh in my mind. I love how good he tries to be in every way, and I so appreciate how his intuitive and emotional intelligence is shown as being a huge asset to the team. [[And, side-note, if you’ve never read these books or haven’t read them in a long time I very much suggest you do because it’s one of those series where as a kid you’re like “look at these kids kicking ass!” and then as an adult you’re like “oh my god, they’re eleven years old” but with this series it’s still an equally enjoyable experience because all the adults in the series try really, really hard to protect the kids and keep them out of danger so it just raises the stakes that the kids end up in danger anyway instead of breaking immersion, you feel me?]]

5. Lucy Pevensie from the Chronicles of Narnia. Lucy is the light of my life!!!!!!!!! The Narnia books are so so so important to me, and I adore how much Lucy radiates light and hope and wisdom. And I fully have a crush on Georgie Henley so there’s that too. 

6. Nancy Wheeler from Stranger Things. MY FUCKING GIRL. Nancy Wheeler is STRONG and BRAVE and TENDER and so fucking smart, like this girl is ALWAYS the one who puts the pieces together and figures out the mystery before everyone else and no one NOTICES and ALSO her fear reaction is to just start shooting whatever the threat is and i LOVE HER

7. Peter Quill from Guardians of the Galaxy. This might be my hottest take, especially post-Infinity War, but Peter Quill is brave and goofy and thinks with his heart instead of his head, and I really love him. He’s an automatic leader, and he loves his friends and Gamora so much, and he didn’t even think twice about sacrificing his life for the world galaxy, like, multiple times. I’m so excited to possibly see him play off Thor in GOTG3 but I am also very worried that he’s gonna get overshadowed by Thor in his own movie and that would make me upset. 

8. Dipper Pines from Gravity Falls. Dipper is the BEST and I do not take constructive criticism. Finds a mysterious book in the woods and instantly goes, “ah, I am a monster hunter now.” Is twelve years old and would literally die for his sister. Survives the Weirdpocalypse for days by himself. I love him so much. 

9. Ginny Weasley from the Harry Potter books. Not that I hate the movies or anything, but if we’re talking favorite characters we have to talk book Ginny because she really is That Bitch. Popular friendly cool Gryffindor and Qudditch star? Always standing up for her friends? Dealt with the trauma of being mild-controlled by Voldemort at the age of 11? Reacted to her school being taken over by evil wizards by forming an underground resistance group? The definition of Chaotic Good? We have no CHOICE but to stan.

10. Leia Organa from Star Wars. I couldn’t have this list without the first character I ever remember adoring on it. Love my space princess and love having badass female role models and love Carrie Fisher <3

Honorable mentions go out to Vex, Beau, Moonshine Cybin, Annabeth Chase, Frodo Baggins, Wylan Van Eck, Harry Potter, Wendy Corduroy, and literally every single member of the Leverage team.

Obvs no pressure to complete (or to complete as in depth as i did lmao) but I’m tagging @riz-gukgak, @fansofcollisions, @thesea-ofatlas, @emcat37, @disasterhumans, @brightandshinynewstories, @adhdotlexia, @adobabe, @musicallynerdy, and the tenth person is anyone reading this who wants to do it!

#about me #i feel like stanning Fjord Riz and Hardwon says something about me #mostly that i like male characters with very high emotional walls i guess #personal

[ratthumbsup]

Okay but, the bad kids having to be interviewed by the police, though. between Fig's issues with authority, Fabian's grandiose sense of self, Riz's belief of himself as a detective, i bet it was a mess. how do you imagine that going?

this is such a fun ask! i’m going to assume the precinct isn’t the one riz’s mom works at so they don’t know him already, but 

they are involved in a huge battle outside of elmville and police are called to the scene and they are split up to explain what happened (and probably why they killed some people) 

under the cut cause it got long

so fig doesn’t trust any adult and is so good at getting into their heads that i don’t think the cops would be able to get any answers out of her. nothing she says is even remotely helpful. she just puts her feet up on the table and deflects the hell out of the situation. one asks a simple “why do you think you’re here?” and of course fig would immediately respond with “well because you’re attracted to me. you know you could have just asked me out instead of putting on this whole charade.” every question asked would be someone how turned on its head. and any question she actually answers is totally incomprehensible a la “i’m going to die because corn.” they kick her out of the interrogation room eventually.

riz is the total opposite of fig. i’m sure his briefcase would be held but he pulls a business card out of his pocket and offers it to the cops who are genuinely like “what the fuck.” his posture is completely different from fig’s, he’s leaning forward over the table and trying to read the notes the cops are taking. when he’s asked a question he just asks them a question back, which is totally infuriating. like, “okay, so, this man died. can you tell me anything about him?” they ask. “was he the leader of the group? have you run into problems with him before? where else should we be looking to find more information about him?” riz responds, not seeing the problem with using “we.” “that’s exactly what we’re trying to do right now!” he gets kicked out, too. 

gorgug has no idea what’s going on. he’s not super great in social situations in general so he starts by trying to get through the formalities of a normal encounter with a stranger. “hi, i’m gorgug thistlespring, what’s your name?” he also knows they’re in the right and they finished the fight so why is he being forced to talk about it to some cops? the problem is already solved. can’t he just take a break and talk about it tomorrow? he’s not trying to lie, either, but he’s genuinely not sure why they got into the fight in the first place, other than “we were attacked!” he eventually just gets super caught up in trying to figure out if one of the cops is his dad and they kick him out. 

adaine has a panic attack. she has diplomatic immunity so she can’t get arrested but her parents are going to murder her for getting into this mess in the first place. she agrees to go to the station to be with her friends but she sits in the lobby hyperventilating until she calms down enough to some digging on the situation. which she totally does. 

fabian starts like he always does, “fabain aramais seacaster, son of bill seacaster, i’m sure you’ve heard of him.” he actually knows when to toe the line between what is enough information to give to adults he doesn’t trust and what to keep to himself. and he knows his dad’s money can solve any legal trouble he might find himself in. cops asking him questions have never seen a teen so at ease in the station. he mostly spends his time bragging about all the cool stuff he did during the fight instead of actually answering the questions. 

kristen probably gives them the most actual, useful information, since she’s so bad at lying and is prone to ramble. she’s pretty nervous about being there and is just trying to leave. though of course she eventually goes off on a tangent about her relationship with religion, which i’m sure the cops do not know how to handle. like she begins talking about what happened next in the fight and she used divine magic for some reason and she’s like “i can still channel my god through magic even though he knows i’m not a huge fan of him right now and i’m really looking into maybe choosing another god to follow, if you have a recommendation, i didn’t choose to follow helio and” 

i can’t decide if it’s more fun if riz calls his mom and she shows up to meet all these exasperated cops and she’s like “imagine talking to them all time.” or if the adaine calls the cubby’s to come get them and they all get taught how to avoid being caught next time. 

#howlingheartdemigod #fantasy high #thanks for the ask!! #sorry it took a minute!

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 11

The One With All the Lore (in which the Bad Kids do a Lot of Reading and we are Forcibly Reminded the Plot is Happening)

We are back in the Land of the Lomenelda where the Bad Kids and Co. are waking up (well, those who went to sleep anyway). Fig and Ayda wake from their sleepover that Fig decides to keep going into the day, confusing Ayda immensely in the process. 

Kristen decides to look at the research she found in Calethriel Tower and on a 22 religion check, she gets a lot of info which I will do my best to summarize here:

The information is older than what she read in the pirate book. It’s probably from 850-900 years ago--around the time of the last great Sylvan War.

The text is by high elven clerics of the Moon Goddess Galakaya (Tracker’s goddess).

There used to another goddess worshiped in Sylvere--a goddess of night, mystery, and magic and the younger sister of Galakaya. This goddess was worshiped by all of the races in the forest (and it sounds like this is who all the oblique references in the earlier research was pointing to). Doubt and the unknown were parts of worship to her which Kristen is very into. Religious differences between the races about how to worship the mystery goddess was part of what sparked the war.

Some high elven clerics came in to help broker a truce which ended up leading to the invention of the “Sylverian Heresy”. Basically, the Moon clerics advised the Mystery clerics to “unmake” the name of their goddess because, “Hey, she’s a mystery goddess, right? So isn’t knowing anything about her a contradiction of her whole thing?” They think that sounds legit and proceed to do that but it seems that it wasn’t actually altruistic advice as much as a ploy by the high elven clerics to weaken the mystery goddess. 

Fabian has been dancing all night and he is feeling exhausted but super good. This becomes even more of a family affair when none other than Hilariel Seacaster shows up! She joins the dance! Cathilda joins the dance! Fig plays her bass! Riz is skanking? It’s one of those classic D&D moments where the plot utterly grinds to a halt while everyone takes turns describing the ridiculous nonsense they’re doing and it’s fantastic. Once that calms down a bit, Fabian goes on a walk with his mom and Cathilda where Hilariel tells him that the grapes 1000% do not work, which honestly checks out.

Shifting to the Abernant sisters, Aelwen (this is the canon spelling and I’m gonna try to use it for these recaps but we’ll see how that goes) has just regained her pre-torture memories. To be specific, she seems to have backed them up between being broken out of jail in Solace and the torture starting. They have a little bit of a standoff, not sure whether one of them is going to attack the other. Once it becomes clear that blasting each other isn’t on the top of their respective to-do lists, they settle into a semi civilized conversation. Adaine wants Aelwen to read her thoughts so she’ll have the memories of what happened to her and the past day (at least from Adaine’s P.O.V.) and not go back to working with their parents. Aelwen seems resistant to the prospect and asks Adaine to just tell her what happened. While they’re talking, Adaine rolls an Insight check of 10 which doesn’t net her any information (we’ll come back to this).

Aelwen tells Adaine that their parents are not on the same side but refuses to elaborate, much to Adaine’s annoyance and frustration. They kind of dissolve into almost normal sibling bickering except that it’s about stuff like, “Oh come on, I only tried to kill you one time. Don’t be dramatic.” When questioned, Aelwen says that she only joined up with Goldenhoard for fun and she didn’t really think he’d win against her and her friends. The argument ends with Adaine casting Tasha’s Hideous Laughter which knocks Aelwen out in one shot because she’s still three or four levels of exhaustion deep.

Fig goes to Telemein to ask if he knows Planeshift (which she needs to get Gorthalax out of the ruby he’s trapped in). He does not and she doesn’t trust him to figure it out in a timely manner (or to even know what a timely manner is). 

Kristen goes into the Van where Aelwen is to check on her (she’s fine, just trancing). Then, she helps out while Adaine tries to rifle through Aelwen’s brain for information on their Mom. Aelwen saves from the first Detect Thoughts but she’s sleeping so Adaine just tries again. Second time’s the charm. Her sleeping brain is a little hard to read but what Adaine sees is that when she failed her Insight check with a 10, what was happening was THE SHADOWCAT WAS STANDING BEHIND HER AND TALKING TO AELWEN. And I (roughly) quote, “Don’t keep looking at me. Look at your sister. Your mom is working for me. She has the crown and she’s taking it to Sylvere. Get away from Adaine so we can talk.” On an 18 Insight check, she can tell that Aelwen and Kalina have spoken before and seem familiar with each other.

Now that Adaine has seen Kalina through Aelwen’s memories, she decides to Scry on her. Oh, and she has a Nat 1 portent roll to give her. Eat your dice Brennan! The Scry goes really weird though. Instead of just showing one person, it cycles through a bunch of people, ending with Ragh, Tracker, Sandra-Lynn, that elf Ragh slept with, and Kristen. Then, it flashes to a creepy-ass forest where she sees a wood elf covered in festering wounds and claw marks. Vines are dripping with blood. The elf stands, grabs an old spear, and scratches into the ground, “Hello Adaine. Glad you could join me.” Then, it moves back to Kristen. Um, como se dice, CONCERNING. 

Adaine gets a 27 to Detect Magic on Kristen and pings nothing that shouldn’t be there. Gorgug (who is also there btw) gets the pic and asks Ragh’s hookup if he can see the tabaxi and he can. The group gets together and they realize that everyone who can all of a sudden see the Shadowcat either had sex or exhanged blood with someone who initially could (ie: Garthy got it from Sandra-Lynn, as did Tracker when she blood healed her and Kristen got it afte she hooked up with Tracker in Leviathan). Shout out to everyone who called that. And I guess the Thistlespring STD talk at the top of the season was less of a wild detour than it seemed (I wonder if it would have transferred if said people specified that they used protection). 

Fabian and Fig are very down to drink some blood so they can also see the picture but they are warned off with the idea that it very likely means Kalina can see through their eyes or something similar. After they all exchange their info, Riz theorizes that Kalina is not just a servant of the Nightmare King and rather the Mystery Goddess herself, powered down. Adaine starts a private message (w/ magic, not on their crystals) with the non-infected people.

Kristen recently learned the spell Hallow which can basically turn the Van into a permanent Moon Haven. She tells Tracker and on a 15 Persuasion check, Tracker seems to have warmed back up to her a bit and is down to help. Telemein offers his library which has zero useful books but lots of meditation guides and essential oils which Adaine and Kristen respectively grab.    

Having learned her lesson, Kristen tells Tracker EVERYTHING she learned from the religious texts (and Tracker notices what she’s doing). She feels weird about something that bad having been done in the name of her goddess and also she’s sorry she gave Kristen a magic STD. She does the head bump thing that dogs and wolves do and says that just cause she was mad at her, it didn’t mean she didn’t love her. She goes to talk to Sandra-Lynn and it seems like they’ve patched things up. 

The Bad Kids split up again to get some stuff done before they leave (which they want to do since they are dangerously close to the elves who are probably looking for them). Adaine and Gorgug (who was also given Aelwen’s spellbook to hold) work on fixing the Hangman. Riz wants to do some research/investigating. Kristen and Tracker work on the Hallow spell. Fig guards Aelwen. Fabian hangs out with his mom.

After spilling his guts about the past week to his mom, Fabian is given an uncharacteristically lucid and touching speech from Hilariel which basically boils down to: you’re your own person and being able to get through hardship is better than never facing hardship. She also drops the information that post-yesterday’s shenanigans (grabbing the sun and all that), Aguefort has lost a LOT of funding. They won’t be able to pay their hirelings. Also, she kinda sorta wants Cathilda back because she’s out of yogurt and cannot cook. Cathilda has a little sidebar heart-to-heart with Fabian where she gives him a choice on whether she stays or goes and he decides she should go home with Hilariel. Says Cathilda, “There’s only one Seacaster left to take care of and she’s out there in a kimono.”

Oh yeah. Hilariel showed up to the woods in a black kimono. As you do. 

Cathilda asks Fabian which sword he’s going to fight with now since he has two and he chooses the elven one he got last episode over the Sword of the Seacasters.

Riz, with a crazy 28 Investigation check gets a bunch of information from the stolen research which I will summarize below:

Ragh, who is also there, reminds Riz that he saw Adaine’s mom talking to Jace post-prom and then saw the Shadowcat after on his way home.

Adaine’s mom was looking for a way to pin down the Shadowcat and also how to rename the goddess of mystery. She pulled 200-300 year old records on the execution of a wood elf named Landryn Leer in the elven secret service (called the Third Court). 

Landryn was a cleric, ostensibly of Galakaya, but she was actually a cleric of the goddess of mystery and was killed for espionage. When she was supposed to be healing, she was also infecting people with some kind of virus--probably whatever magic STD that lets you see Kalina in the picture.

Mom Abernant was also researching Abyssal demonic texts while she was working for Falinel (which I think is connected to the next bullet but my notes are a little hectic here).

After the first fall of Kalvaxus, a group of infernal warlocks came to help the good guys by making a boundary around the forest of the Nightmare King so no one could get in or out. The devils helped because devils hate demons and demons were on the other side. 

This isn’t new information but we’re reminded that the Crown of the Nightmare King can be used to anchor a being to the material plane.

Pok, Riz’s dad, also checked out the same information (about the fall of Kalvaxus and stuff) for himself and Kalina earlier. 

(Riz wonders whether the Nightmare King and the Mystery goddess are opposed rather than allies).

Anyway, the only way to pass through the barrier the devils put up is by a high ranking devil allowing passage. Mom Abernant had notes about binding a devil into a gem (Ragh recognizes that bit because of his mom’s condition) and doing a ritual to put the devil in a freshly dead body. Riz realizes that this is what was happening with him and Fig and Gorthalax in the Hotel Cavalier. 

This is actually from research that Kristen does but I’ll put it here because it’s related. Apparently, only a certain kind of dead body would give the Shadowcat the gem.

Meanwhile, Fig is watching Aelwen. She hexes Aelwen (giving her disadvantage of Strength checks), disguises herself as her (Aelwen’s) mom, and smokes cloves. Ragh’s hookup shows up, recognizes Fig because she’s still carrying her bass, and asks for the hot goss on her and Ayda. He says the elves told Ayda that she’s a rockstar and therefore probably promiscuous which made Ayda teleport away. That pisses Fig right off and she gets Gorgug to take over watching Aelwen while she goes after Ayda (with a parting, “CHOKE ON GRAPES BITCH,” to Fathethriel or whatever his name is). 

Aelwen wakes up but Gorgug realizes after about a minute that he’s not talking to the real Aelwen, it’s a water elemental like the one she made in her S1 battle episode. A decoy. At about the same time, Fig goes to where she was told Ayda left through a door but the door isn’t there. Then, she’s made to roll a Wisdom saving throw. Dirty 20 passes and whatever spell was happening doesn’t land. She rolls initiative but, even with a 5 turned to a 17 (she took the Lucky feat) she can’t beat a 19. Another Wisdom saving throw and this one she fails with a 10. She’s frozen with a Hold Person spell. Someone invisible grabs Gorthalax’s gem from her pocket.

She breaks out of the Hold Persons spell and casts Bestow Curse on the person--clearly Aelwen--to give her wicked gas (which is a hilarious on its face but smart after a second of thought Axford Gambit--Invisible Aelwen w/ gas = trackable by scent). Aelwen (who has the gem and her spellbook because she was in the Van, invisible and snagged it from Gorgug) drops invisibility, tells Fig, “Sorry but goodbye for now,” rips a huge fart, then teleports out. Adaine isn’t mad at Fig and Gorgug. She says she should have been watching Aelwen. The group tracks down Fathethriel who tells them Aelwen bribed him with the promise of 10 gold (the promise, not the actual gold) to mess with Fig. Fabian and Riz backhand him. Fabian calls him mean which is somehow the worst thing he could have said. Fig is ready to straight up kill this dude with Booming Blade but ends up just doing non-lethal damage and knocking him unconscious. But even Telemein hates that dude so it’s probably fine. 

The group discusses the hireling situation now that school is no longer paying their stipend. Sandra-Lynn and Tracker are both willing to keep on with them without being paid but the Bad Kids insist that they’ll still pay them from their own money. Riz thinks Aelwen might be the new sacrifice and Adaine is kinda like, “Sure. Of course. Why wouldn’t this be happening.”

Cathilda has a nice goodbye with everyone. Adaine gets cookies. Fig isn’t suspicious of her anymore. Fabian puts his eyepatch back on and calls her the best surrogate mother a boy could ask for (while standing like two feet away from his actual mom who, though hurt, is like, “Valid.”) 

Once they’re back in Leviathan, Sandra-Lynn gives a speech that’s half pep-talk, half apology. Then she asks Ayda to use her Sending spell and Kristen can tell even without an Insight check that she’s gonna talk to Jawbone. 

After terrifying Fabian with the idea that they might track down Chungledown-Bim, they decide to talk to Garthy instead--they being Fabian, Fig and Ragh. We’ll get back to them in a second. First, Adaine goes to the Library to read over her research. Nat 20 arcana check so here comes another info-dump:

The info she found was written by mystics and shamans of wood elves, centaurs, treents, and sprites (the forest races). 

Before the name of the goddess was destroyed, there were clerics driven out as heretics because they were having dreams sent by the mystery goddess which were ignored by the clerics in Sylvere. She was trying to tell everyone not to do the whole un-naming thing because it would destroy her. 

There were 4 miracles called the 4 transubstantiations followed by 1 bigger transubstantiation that happened before the unmaking of the goddess’s name. 

The mystery goddess was not just a goddess of magic but specifically, a witch goddess. 

Anyway, the transubstantiations were these:

Her spellbook was turned into a coin.

Her familiar was turned into a plague.

Her sanctum was turned into a curse.

Her focus (a broomstick) was turned into a tree.

Her name was turned into something unknown before it could be unmade (this was the major transubstantiation).

Riz is also doing some investigation and on a 23 check, the main piece of new info he gets is that in the original alliance of Kalvaxus and the Nightmare King, the NK gave Kal a coin for his hoard to seal their alliance. They realize that they got Kal’s hoard but they don’t know if they got the exact coins he owned or just an equivalent amount of money. Riz also sees notes from the government of Falinel saying that Mom Abernant was doing this research for them with the promise that they would release Aelwen and restore their family to some level of prestige. When the government went back on their promise, she started looking into other people that could help her, like Garthy (and the government eventually found out).  

Speaking of Garthy, back to Fig, Fabian, and Ragh. They try to persuade Garthy to come with them to help but Garthy is staying put. They do have some news though. Mom Abernant actually isn’t Falinel bound. She’s on the way to a town close to Sylvere (which the group kinda already knew but now they have confirmation and more specifics). The town is called Arborly and Fig actually knows someone who has a mansion (called Hollyhill) there who, while she was on tour, said she could stay there any time. With teleportation, they should be able to get there before her. Fabian has Garthy check their coins for anything fishy (looking at the aforementioned transubstantiated coin) but nothing seems amiss.   

As they leave, they suddenly hear a weird rumbling and then something leaps onto Fabian and starts giving him rubber burn. It’s the Hangman! Gorgug continued working on him in Leviathan and we learn that he took a level in Artificer and was able to fix him with a 22, some help from Adaine, and a little of the wax Fabian got last season. He’s back! And he wants to shit in Chungledown-Bim’s mouth! 

The next day, Kristen finishes casting Hallow with Tracker. She taps into some of the mystery goddess energy which seems like a questionable thing to do so very on brand for her. Ayda wants to come with them but she has to look after the library. However, she plans to shrink down the entire library, book by book, so she can carry it around and continue adventuring with the Bad Kids. Until then, she teleports them all to Arborly and the gates of Hollyhill.  

Detention

Fathetriel for Being an Ass

Even Telemien thinks he sucks. Choke on grapes bitch.

Honor Roll

Gorgug for Fixing the Hangman

I’m going to be less than entirely predictable here any instead of giving Adaine this spot for the objectively clutch move of scrying on the Shadowcat by forcing a Nat 1 on her save, I’m going to give it to Gorgug for taking a level of Artificer and fixing the Hangman. It’s just such a sweet move. All this insanity going on around them and he took the time to figure out how to fix his friend’s bike/dog. He didn’t have to do that but he did, and in such an understated way. Plus, it totally makes sense for him being the son of two tinkers. I wonder if he can build that cell tower for Zelda now. This also seems like a good move story-wise because I feel like having these extra skills ups Gorgug’s potential for shenanigans/helpfulness out of combat a lot.  

Random Thoughts

What did I say? What did I say at the end of last recap? I KNEW we’d gone too long without a Shadowcat sighting. I KNEW we were about to get wrecked! 

Made a couple of oblique references to this in the recap but I’ll say it outright now. The gang is all level 9 now!

There was a LOT of lore in this episode so, if I got anything wrong and you notice, please tell me and I’ll fix it when I get the chance. 

Sad to see Ayda go but happy that the Hangman’s back! I hope The Bad Kids take a page from Jester’s book and Sending her all the time.

Good on Fabian/Lou for letting Cathilda go in a move that was right for the story but objectively worse for the inevitable coming battle. 

“I couldn’t have one nice day with my sister.”/”No.” (“He’s all the bad guys,” Siobhan says in a resigned tone.)

Speaking of the Abernants, I think Arianwyn is how you spell Adaine’s mom’s name which I am going to try and get used to before she shows up again and I have to type it 47 times. Also, very funny that Ally/Kristen learned the name Adaine and was like, “She is the only valid Abernant. I refuse to learn any more names.” Anyway, this campaign needs less elves and more goblins. Riz. Pok. Sklonda. Things I can spell. 

I question whether the Mystery goddess is actually going to be an antagonist. Both because it seems like she got majorly screwed over by a bunch of uptight high-elves who have been nothing but trouble so far (sans Adaine and Hilariel to a degree) so I’m inclined to be on the side they’re not on and also because this was clearly a plot point written with Kristen in mind. So I guess the question is, is this going to be a temptation for Kristen or a safe harbor? 

Did the curse on the NK’s crown get properly dispelled by Adaine’s mom? Wondering because of the whole sanctum being turned into a curse thing. Though, I guess breaking the curse could be what turned it back into the sanctum.

Lol at all the people in the comments questioning whether Brennan ripped his lore from My Little Pony when all the Moon goddess, sister goddesses stuff was being explained. 

Did Brennan say how Hilariel knew where Cathilda was? She doesn’t have magic, she’s some kind of Fighter. Does she have Cathilda Magic Lojacked?

“Yes, The Ball! Feel it! Yes, Ball, skank!”

Hilariel, like Jareth the Goblin King, can contact juggle, which checks out. 

I’m very curious about what Brennan has planned for Aelwen because I think Adaine offering to willingly fail a save so she could read her mind was a very clutch, “I had a week to think about this and you better believe I thought about it,” move from Siobhan and I don’t know why Aelwen would be hesitant to take that opportunity (besides maybe thinking it was a trap?) except for the meta reason that a quick reality check would joss some important story beats. I could be wrong but that’s just the vibe I got. Also if any of y’all are inclined to write the alt version of this scene where Aelwen *does* do that, def tag me so I can read it. 

The vibe that was going on when Adaine and Aelwen was talking was fascinating. I kinda loved it? Like, they were still fighting and Aelwen was still being a bitch and Adaine was still super annoyed but it felt almost blunted? Like they were shooting at each other but with Nerf guns instead of AK-47s for a change. My read on Aelwen is that she enjoys having a relationship with Adaine, even if it’s antagonistic. I think that Aelwen would much rather fighting with Adaine every day than for Adaine to not care about her at all. It’s like the horseshoe thing, you know? Love and hate are much closer to each other than they are to indifference. Better to have her care about you in the wrong direction than not at all. Anyway, this is so the vibe that I was expecting from them when they linked back up post-rescue. Wish we had gotten a little more before she escaped but I’m really liking this plot thread.

Also, curious about how truthful Aelwen was being when she said she only joined up with Kalvaxus for fun and was counting on Adaine and Co. to stop them. And, while we’re wondering about things, I’m curious about what Aelwen’s previous relationship with Kalina was. Like, besides creating a diversion to steal the crown, how do the events of this season hook up with the events of last season in a way that explains the relationship? Or is it not related? What is the timeline of events here?

And was Kalina actually there talking to her do you think or was it more of a projection type deal?

Sidenote: I think Brennan is taking liberties with what Detect Thoughts can do (in this and especially last episode) but I think it’s a very good creative choice and it makes things a lot more interesting.

Also, gotta say, the way the plot ended up turning out re: Aelwen’s Escape was just *chef’s kiss*. Like, you had Fig bring up the ruby, unprompted earlier in the episode--reestablishing it as a thing that exists. Then they gave the spellbook to Gorgug. Then, Fig was the one who took up guard duty and she happened to switch up with Gorgug, giving Aelwen and, by extension, Brennan a perfect series of events to get her out of there. Wild. 

This episode explains how the Shadowcat/picture thing is spreading but not where Riz and Sandra-Lynn got it from initially. Like, I assume Sklonda got it from Pok. And it’s very plausible Riz got it from one of them somehow but when would they have shared blood? That’s not a normal family thing to do. Did his dad give him a kidney or soemthing? I’m probably overthinking this. 

Emily, I’m begging you. Please keep bringing up those rock and roll babies until Brennan is forced to make it plot relevant.

Speaking of, I was getting so many Night Yorb vibes from that mystery goddess “don’t speak her name” conversation and if the Night Yorb becomes plot relevant I swear I’m gonna personally make Brennan eat his dice.

“I mention everything to Tracker from now on.” You know what that is? Growth 

I loved Fig saying “I don’t know enough about you to know if we wanna kill you,” to the Shadowcat by directly looking at Riz and him being like, “UMMMMMMMM.”

Gilear, wildly, was not mentioned once in this episode and you think he would have been since his girlfriend showed up.  

I wonder if Fandrangool has better stats than the Sword of the Seacasters. I also wonder if I’m spelling that correctly. Doubt it.

“My vices rule.”

One thing I didn’t recap but should have were the dreams in the first episode and I feel like I should go back and watch them because they feel like they could become relevant any time now but that sounds like a lot. I’ll try and watch them before next recap though so I can connect any obvious dots.

Is there anything more pure than Murph cracking up at Emily’s shenanigans. 

I have a note in my notes that says “Fig/Virgin” but it’s like that one gif. “Why am I gasping? I already knew that.”

We originally thought the Shadowcat didn’t want people to be able to see her but now it’s seeming like the opposite is the case. It looks like this is a systematic way to *force* people to be able to see her. If that’s what’s going on then that’s a brilliant reversal from Brennan.

Aelwen, when she gets her memories back, says something like, “Since I’m in a hot tub and you found what you found, I’m assuming you’re not gonna kill me this second.” And one, funny that she can’t even directly reference the one compliment she ever gave Adaine while in her right mind but also, the implication seems to be (at least partially) that she thought, “Let me say something nice about Adaine on this charm to buy me some goodwill so she doesn’t immediately kill me once she restores me,” which is so calculated and I kinda love it.

I had a conversation with drinkingdeadpeopletea while the ep was going on that basically went like: Me: They better watching Aelwen so she doesn’t escape. Her: lol she’s def gonna. 

“Does your mom smoke cloves?”

The goddess’s familiar being turned into a plague and the thing going on with Kalina and being able to see her being like an STD and Goldenhoard presenting as a dragonborn but being an actual dragon and Kalina being a tabaxi and cats being the most classic familiar for witches and the goddess being specifically a witch goddess all feel possibly related to me, but that could just be my brain playing the association game and connecting things that don’t necessarily connect. 

The fact that other characters (read: Fathethirel) read Fig and Ayda’s relationship as possibly romantic (in an attempt to mess with her of course, but still) and Fig reacted so strongly (well strongly and in that specific way because I have no doubt she’d also beat a dude within an inch of their life for messing with, say Gorgug or Adaine) is something I’m going to star for later. [Edit: Brennan clarified on the Discord recently that Ayda (or at least this version of her. Phoenix reincarnation and all) is 17 so y’all are all good to go shipping-wise). As is Tracker, by the by, but I think we were all pretty sure Brennan was keeping that above board.] 

Siobhan’s face when Fig says that she’s “straight edge except for hallucinogens.”

“I’m gonna buy you an orange.”

This episode, Adaine, with advantage, rolled a nat 20 (the other roll being 1). Brennan got one natural 1 (though it wasn’t rolled, it was a portent roll) and Gorgug also rolled one Nat 1 but it’s important that I note it was for giving the Hangman an ass to shit in Chungledown-Bim’s mouth.

#fantasy high #fantasy high live #dimension 20 #fantasy high spoilers #dimension 20 spoilers

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 3

 Thanks, I Hate It!

This week, we move forward by first jumping backwards. Last episode, the Bad Kids found that Riz and Fig were missing. Now, we get to see what happened in the meantime. Riz was in his office, trying to put together anything new on the Nightmare King. We’re reminded that his sword--the Sword of Shadows which he got from the arcade and lets him misty step (also, which he used to kill Kalvaxus)--was made by Tabaxi ninjas (seemingly relevant considering the whole Shadowcat thing). He notices that, in his photo, Kalina’s image doesn’t look as time-worn as the rest of it, as if only the part where she appears was protected. He hears a noise and goes to investigate. What he finds, is a creepy-ass nightmare skeleton person in the mirror claiming to be Baron, from the Baronees (the person he on the fly lied--poorly--that he was dating in ep 1). Respecting the fact that Murph never clarified whether Baron was a guy or a girl, Brennan has Baron exclusively refer to themselves as Riz’s R̵̪̹̄o̸̱͝m̸͔͔̂̽a̴͕̾̈́n̵͙̬͒c̸̣̏͠ḙ̸̃̓ ̶̞̇̕P̸̞͚̈́a̸͉͒͝r̴̛͈͈t̷͓͇̋͒n̸̬͛̈́e̴̮̒r̴̝̃̓ in this mega-cursed, fake Swedish(?) accent.

Thanks, I hate it. 

Riz, faced with his lie brought to life, is pretty freaked and tries to shoot it but he’s quickly subdued and dragged into the mirror. Luckily, he’s able to leave the photo for his friends to find. 

Meanwhile, Fig spent the night in a weird fugue state--almost like an enjoyable nightmare. Most of her focus is on this feeling of isolation, fame, and power--but in a good way. In the background, she’s doing some unimportant stuff. You know, packing her stuff, stealing a gem, trapping Gorthalax in it, and going to Bastion City. No big deal. Anyway, that brings us back to the present with the rest of our party.

They make it to Bastion City and, more importantly, the hotel where Fig is supposed to be. On the way, Adaine tries to detect magic on Sandra-Lynn to try and figure out why she can see the photograph but nothing comes up. At the hotel, they unsuccessfully try to get the concierge to tell them where Fig’s room is. Adaine detects that the receptionist has some kind of transmutation on them and her first thought is, “Magic plastic surgery.” She dispels it. Not magic plastic surgery. The concierge is a demon--which is different and worse than devils who are at least lawful and, like, part of the bureaucracy of punishing people who deserve it.

Anyway, fight time! A lot happens during this fight so I’m going to try and highlight the most important parts:

All the employees in the immediate area turn into various demons to fight the party.

Adaine and Kristen catch sight of Fig’s room number (downstairs penthouse) right before the fight starts and, at the top of the initiative, Adaine goes invisible and runs for the elevator. 

Fabian vaults of Gilear’s face--unnecessarily--and rolls a nat 20.

Gilear (who has FIVE hit points) ducks and covers because of course he does. That doesn’t stop him from being completely obliterated by one punch from one of the huge gorilla demons. He freaking DIES. Thanks, I hate it.

Downstairs, Adaine finds a bunch more demons who are with Fig who is clearly being mind controlled. They have Riz strapped to a table and Fig’s about to stab him with a ritualistic knife. Adaine goes for a dispel magic and gets advantage because of Boggy which leads to her rolling *two nat 20s* and snapping her out of it immediately. 

In a very boss move, Fig immediately grabs Riz and dimension doors him out of his restraints and them both to the coat check where she left the ruby with Gorthalax. Before they poof out, Riz sees yellow eyes in the shadows. Familiar tabaxi eyes. Seemed like she was calling shots. 

Riz gets in a very cool kill with the line, “Tell Daybreak I said hi.”

Fig finds out Gilear is dead and grabs his soul. Kristen heals him up.

Fabian vaults off of Gilear a second time and rolls a nat 1, sending him back into death saves. 

Kristen tosses a spare the dying at Gilear and then kisses full wolfed out Tracker because time isn’t of the essence or anything.

Fig grabs the ruby Gorthalax is in and sees that it’s cloudy--cursed somehow to keep them from breaking him out. Not good. She also finds a bunch of other gems which she also grabs.

We meet Kristen’s new spirit guardians which are now hipster Post-Grad philosophy students in a full spectral coffee shop. She finds them insufferable but is also kind of into it. 

They clean up the rest of the demons and then Fabian does donuts on the Hangman. And we are out of combat.

Fig is a little distraught about having almost killed Riz and brought them all into this dangerous situation which literally killed Gilear--even though no one else blames her even a little. Gilear has a bit of a breakdown which is fair. The man died. They try to send him home--Fig wants to give him 10k gold and send him on vacation--but he is determined to stay and experience things and be useful. Also, Fabian has it in his (and Gorgug’s) head that Gilear must be some kind of chosen one since one of the demons in the fight chose to attack Gilear over him. 

Fig looks through the other gems she got and only one--a Celestial Sapphire--is similar to size to Gorthalax’s. When they bring it out, a slot in Gorgug’s van pops open. They slot the Sapphire in and, through the radio, an Angelic voice speaks to them. He sounds like Owen Wilson and he doesn’t remember his name. The Hangman hates him immediately. Fig pretends to be a cop to get info from the cops that arrive on the scene, doesn’t find out anything useful, but does roll a nat 20 on her deception (come on) and briefly turns the game into the sister, cop-drama show set in the same universe as the Grey’s Anatomy sham-life she’s living, kissing another full adult man. Incredible. 

They regroup at a posh restaurant/cafe called The Swan’s Little Parade. Sklonda calls and, after she and Sandra-Lynn do the mom-catch up thing, she has a quick talk with Riz where we find out a few things about Kalina:

She only worked with Pok on missions between Falinel and Solace.

She was great at going invisible and other infiltration things.

(Note: We actually learned this earlier but I wanted to keep this info together)She looks more like a traditional housecat than a big cat like some other tabaxi.

It’s extremely hard to scry on her. 

She didn’t attend Pok’s funeral.

The last time Sklonda heard from her was 12ish years ago.

Riz only encountered her a few times as a kid. 

Last Sklonda remembers, she reached out to Pok it was something to do with the ship the Oracle sank on. 

They pass around the picture to see who can see it and not only does it appear that Ragh can see her (oh, kinda implied this before but Riz can too) he also seemed really bugged out. Tracker says she can use her cleric mojo to put up some wards to (1) keep them from getting mind whammied like Fig did overnight and (2) maybe make Ragh feel safe enough to talk. She also suggests they all sleep in a huge dog pile for safety which I think is great and someone should draw that.

Gorgug gets a text. It’s Zelda. She can’t believe he left without saying goodbye.

Thanks, I hate it. 

Detention

Fabian for Using Gilear as a Launch Pad Two (2) Times

This was a top contender for this spot, even before Fabian did this a second time and screwed up so bad (nat 1!) that Gilear dropped to zero again and had to make death saving throws.    

Honor Roll

Adaine for Freeing Fig 

Listen, I will freely admit that I have a clear bias towards Adaine. You got me. She’s my favorite. HOWEVER, you cannot tell me that going invisible, rushing straight to the elevator, then rolling double nat 20s (a 1/400 chance) to release Fig from domination right before she plunged a knife into Riz’s heart wasn’t the sickest series of events that happened during this ep. What could possibly compete? 

Random Thoughts

I’ve been trying to figure out the rhyme or reason to who can see the full photo but I haven’t figured out a pattern yet. It’s not that only people who have seen her before can see her because Sandra-Lynn can see it and she said she’s never met her--although I guess it’s possible that she has and she didn’t recognize her since she’s a super spy. And it’s not a blanket thing on the Bad Kids specifically because Riz can see her. I was hoping they’d show it to more people so we could get a better idea of the rules. Maybe it’s based entirely on if she wants to be seen by that specific person? But then why wouldn’t it default to the blank image. It seems (from our limited POV) that most people can see her. Maybe for most people a blank space would be more suspicious than a random tabaxi? Idk.  

Riz forcibly installing himself as Fabian’s best friend and it working is low key the funniest relationship development in FH. I’m so glad Murph and Lou ran with that. Also, the fact that he’s basically accepted that Riz is his best friend but the Hangman hasn’t at all is so good. 

Brennan really just shot Zac in the head at point blank range at the end of the episode, huh? He really just did that to our boy. What’s also funny is that, unlike--say--CR where there’s usually at least a good minute of decompression and goodbyes, Brennan just goes for the kill shot and then peaces out immediately. What a power move. 

Also, poor Zelda! She’s already so insecure, this isn’t gonna be good for her self esteem. Arguably, there were extenuating circumstances Gorgug can claim but you know that’s only gonna help so much since he def could have at least called/texted her to let her know he had to leave in a hurry because Fig/Riz were missing. I wonder if there’s a section of the binder on this. 

For reference, the demons they fight in the hotel lobby are a Cambion, and then several barlgura and skeksis.

“He’s just a guy!” He certainly is. Check out his stats. Hilarious but also, I can’t act like my stats would look that much different. 

I truly, truly cannot believe that Emily pulled the exact same hospital stunt again and it resolved in exactly the same way. This is like when I played blackjack with my brother when I was a teenager to teach him that the house always wins and he hit 21 twice in a row. 

Also on the topic of Fig, her coming down from her mind control was my favorite part of this episode, for a couple of reasons. I love how sincerely Emily played the immediate shock and horror at what she almost did (closed book my ass). I love how every other person was so happy to get her back. I love that none of them even entertained the thought that she might be dangerous or untrustworthy now. Relationships at the intersection of constant bullying and ride or die are my favorite. 

While we’re on the topic of emotional scenes, Gilear full breaking down in the van post-fight was very funny but you also genuinely felt for the guy. It’s been a really long day for the guy and he died like one and a half times. His, “I haven’t experienced anything before this moment,” line really hit me hard. And I think it’s very wild that Brennan set the DC for convincing him to go home at 25 (which Fig did not pass with a 21). It’s very interesting that Gilear’s reaction to this series of events was to double down and be like, I *need* to be here. Seems like this could be a set up for some interesting Gilear development. 

The amount of times I have almost typed Balnor is unreal. My brain stores all the middle aged men hanging out with people too young for him to be hanging out with in the same folder.  

I can’t believe Adaine just went for that dispel except that I can because she did the exact thing with Iris’ wig at the NY live show and I couldn’t believe that either! I really did not think (1) that was a good move or (2) gonna lead to combat (except for the kind that gets you banned from a hotel). I completely misread that situation. Like, it’s a world full of magic. It’s not that weird that a random person would have a spell on them. Anyway, this is why she’s the oracle and I’m not. 

The Barlgura needed a 3 or higher to hit Gilear. He got a 19. Yikes.

“I had to ask.”/ “No you didn’t.” (The crew explodes into laughter.)

Riz tells the whole gang about the Baron thing and tells everyone that they need to stop lying in case all their lies are gonna pop out and attack them. Gorgug admits that he’s kissed the Hangman. Kristen confesses to a group of her closest friends and girlfriend that she is gay. Tracker is like, “Babe, what?” Tracker (and the Bad Kids but in a different way) must really love Kristen because she is just so much all the time. 

Fabian: Who are you seeing then?/Riz:...................No one. 

Ally Middle Name Beardsly wtf is a paranoia check? 

The comedic rhythm of Fabian vaulting off of Gilear’s face with a nat 20, him dying, being resurrected, and the Fabian trying to do it again with a nat 1 and knocking him near death is so perfect that it’s wild that it was totally random. This is the kind of thing that makes you get superstitious about dice. 

We’re introduced to Boggy’s second mood this ep which is Boggy’s mood which is a slightly squinted, “Hmm...I don’t know about this.” Thanks, I love it. 

In addition to considering Gilear might be the chosen one (by who? Of what? They don’t know and neither do I) the half of the group entertaining this theory also considers Gilear might be the Nightmare King (”If you are you have to tell me. I’m your daughter.”). I don’t know if the NK does possession but please have the NK possess Gilear at some point. If the theme of this season is carefully filing away random off the cuff gags and making them plot relevant, please let this be one of them. Also, lol at Murph trying to roll high enough so that Riz has the knowledge to stop the shenanigans before it derails the whole campaign.  

The group bestows upon Gilear the positions of Tour Manager, Social Media Manager, and Honorary Bad Kid (listed last of course).

Fig grabbed a lanyard of out Adaine’s jacket and I remembered, oh yeah, she has a very magical jacket that is only ever used for shenanigans, if at all. Imagine being so magic that you have a magic jacket that you’re always wearing that can summon anything (w/i reason) and you just kinda...forget about it most of the time. 

Curious about why Fig specifically was called in to do the sacrifice and why Riz was the one who had to be sacrificed. 

I hope Adaine just continues to loan out Boggy to anyone having a bad day. I love that.

“Maybe this is one of those massages that hurt.”

Really wanted Hilariel to Skype in and ask about Gilear. Her take on everything is always so funny. She is as crazy as everyone else in her family but in such a low key way.  

Lol at the party being like, “Yeah, Tracker healed me just fine without any 69-ing,” which is truly an incomprehensible sentence without context and still mostly incomprehensible with context. 

Don’t wanna overlook the coolness of Fig rolling double 17s (disadvantaged) to command the barlguras. Not magically, just convincing them she was still in charge of them. Very clutch.

Fabian is so much chiller about letting people on his motorbike these days. He let Gilear ride it. He let Riz ride it. He gave a blanket invitation for anyone in the area to hop on before he did donuts. I love Sophomore Fabian. 

Gilear gets a nat 20 for his first roll! Riz and Kristen got two nat 20s. Fig got one, Gorgug got one (he rolled a second one that was lost with disadvantage), and Adaine rolled two but they really only count as one since it was with advantage. Fabian rolled one of each. That’s a lot of 20s for one ep!

#fantasy high #fantasy high live #dimension 20 #fantasy high spoilers #report card

[jq37]

well. that was it.

**spoilers for prompocalypse  part 2**

Y'all this is it. The end-end. The last recap, at least for Fantasy High.

I honestly could have gotten this up yesterday but I wanted to give myself a hot sec before it was really over. 

But, no way out but through. Let’s get to it. 

We start back up right where we left off with no break in between. Cast still freaking, Brennan still gaping. 

“What the Fuck.” –Brennan 2019

Anyway, Kristen once again appears in corn heaven and she’s very not chill about it. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. On the plus side, she runs into Doreen in heaven who is young and hot again (which I’m sure Fig would appreciate knowing) and also apologizes for her traumatizing speech to Adaine during her death.

Helio playing beer pong. I wonder if that was always a facet of his personality or if Brennan just decided to yes-and all of Ally’s suggestions of him being a frat bro.

The angels being like, “Please be nice to God. He’s our dad,” was kinda adorable. 

“Why are you dressed like a weird stripper?”/“It’s too hot in here. He’s the sun!”

So while the gang has been living out Breakfast Club + Stranger Things, Aguefort has been Weekend and Bernie’s-ing Heaven apparently. I want to say wild, but tbh that’s pretty on brand for him. The wild part is that he was able to knock out GOD. Like, how even?

Aguefort tells Kristen that Sol is one god of many and she says, “Cool, I always thought that,” as if this is new information but, living in a D&D world, shouldn’t she definitively know that already? Like, the gods in fantasy worlds are pretty blatant about letting their presence be known and there are clerics/paladins who aren’t Heleoic but still have powers. 

OK I have a bone to pick with Ms. Kristen Applebees. You get a chance to talk to the primordial source of all divine power and magic and you (1) ask who you’re allowed to bone and (2) create a TERRIBLE god. Just truly TRASH. She created a reaction gif god. It’s not even a physical representation of the concept. Like, I thought she meant something like Yass from Wreck it Ralph 2 but no. Just a literal Yes! Like, you can trash talk Helio when you come up with something better, girl. Also, wild that you can just…walk into a room and do that. Like you have to knock out Sol first but still. Wild.

“You’ve created a new deity and already you’re fed up with it. I would say that’s par for the course.”

I low key thought Kristen was going to get the option to deify herself. I think because I had just rewatched The Gamers: Dorkness Rising and that figures in to the plot. But, thinking about it, she wouldn’t have gone for that I don’t think.

Aguefort flipping out at Kristen saying that friendship is the greatest magic of all, and rightfully so. That’s BS.

Since when does Kristen have dog tags?

Anyway, as we all suspected, the chronomancy line from episode 1 wasn’t a random line of dialogue, it was a chekhov’s gun. 

I mentioned this in an earlier post. Brennan didn’t seem too concerned that the party was wiping and I think this is why. I think he had two paths for this fight to take. In one, Riz successfully rolled for police and like 6 helpful NPCs plus his mom show up. That’s enough to beat the dragon without dying and Aguefort shows up having Die Hard-ed his way out of heaven. In the other, Kristen dies, goes to heaven, and basically that same series of events happens. Chronomancy saves the day. I think he was shocked because the roll dovetailed so perfectly with the story beat. 

“Is Arthur Aguefort black? Hell yes. My brotha.” Gonna be honest, I basically had that same reaction when they showed his character portrait in ep 1.

Kristen and Arthur jump back into the battle and Arthur gets possessed by Mr. Gibbons. I guess he’s just been hanging around as a ghost this whole time? Because this seems to lend credence to the theory that that’s who possessed Fig in the arcade but didn’t we see him go to the afterlife (which, I have a question about that too later). But I feel like that must have been Brennan’s way of sidelining him for the fight so they didn’t have like a level 20 wizard making it too easy.

“Oh, and Jawbone!” Murph loses it. 

Jawbone stuck in Goldenhoard’s mouth like that meme of the dog smiling, stuck in a fence.

Gorthalax is like, “I don’t feel great sleeping next to this dude.” Fig meanwhile is all, “I wanna sleep between his legs.” She says this at least twice. 

So everyone just have a freaking picnic and takes a nap in the middle of this fight. Can’t say I saw that coming exactly.

Fabian tries to stab Dayne, who is already dead, during the time stop.

“What the fuck do they teach you at this school?”

“Are you talking about the time thing or–”/“Yeah Gorgug! The time thing!.”

“We’re gonna kill this motherfucker, sweetie.”

I love Sklonda so much.

Jawbone is a salad guy.

OK so I know people were shipping Sklonda and Gilear and it was like, “But how would that work with the height difference?” so Brennan, the absolute madman, decides to pair her with the GIANT DEMON???

Adaine about Gilear: Cucked again.

Everyone treating the DRAGON like a JUNGLE GYM.

“It’s basically Jeb Bush’s Campaign.” Ally, with the fury of 1000 suns: EXCUSE ME?

“I bless, [Riz], your mom, and [Fabian.] Are you the only ones with vendettas?”

“I think we’re all pretty blessed.” Gorgug/Zac is so good.

Adaine, who has all the wisdom and intelligence points of the entire party at the moment: You need to stay safe because the reason that we died is that you died. 

The shot that shows everyone on the giant dragon and then the foreground fuzzes out and shows Adaine a safe distance away in the background is hilarious. 

Ice guitar pick. Sweet.

Yeah, Siobhan really shoulda got healing potions out of her jacket, not the freaking wand. Hilarious. The only thing helpful about that was it hinted he was vulnerable to frost damage which they could have guessed. 

I wonder what Brennan had in his notes about the freaking city in Adaine’s jacket. It’s wild they weren’t more curious about that.

I low key loved Emily buffing Murph the whole fight.

“Hell yes Sklonda!”

Ragh: Giving a gay pride speech./Adaine, who doesn’t want to get knocked out again: STAB HIM IN THE DICK DUDE.

And, speaking of, OWWW.

Fig shapeshifting to Dayne. The hell Emily!

And another eye gouging.

Fabian is incapable of doing a single thing without doing some ridiculous parkour stunt first. 

Kristen,not twenty minutes after Riz said it would be crazy to go inside the dragon: Can I climb inside the dragon’s mouth? (Adaine: KRISTEN!)

Gorgug saving Skonda and Riz going, “Thanks for saving my mom!” from across the room.

Brennan is narrating the epic final battle and what cool thing everyone is doing and Kristen is just being digested. 

Riz was my second choice for the coup de grace until it turned out that Kal ate his dad and then he was my first choice. Riz!!!!

What a badass moment for him. The image of him casting a shadow on the wall is super dope.

Everyone flipping off Kal as he dies.

Riz and Sklonda are making dragon casserole bay-bee! 

MURPH FAILS WITH BARDIC INSPIRATION AND BLESS AT A 12 DC.

Aguefort. What a chaos monster.

“I fucked that bird! It is my paramour!”

Hold up, hold up, hold up. Did Kristen’s freaking Yes god kick Sol out of his own freaking heaven? WHAT?

I love that what Adaine got out of this experience was, “Wait, so my powers are bullshit?”

“Everything in this world is bullshit, Ms. Abernant.” Preach.

“So is the sun just a yes now?”/“Maybe.”

Literally 6 cop NPCs. Like they all seem like they’re morons but I’m sure it would have helped!

“Fuck it dude, it’s worth asking.”

“Are you my dad?”/“I was about to ask you the very same thing.”/“What?”

“TAKE HIS EYE. CUT OUT HIS EYE. YOU WANT ME TO BITE IT OUT FOR YOU?”

Brennan really likes the word bud.

Freak the fuck out all the time and just fuck things up. 

They got their ice cream later! And Adaine says thank you to Basrar, even though he’s not even there.

Adaine as the 7 freed maidens (way to go Sandra-Lynn) are re-killing Goldenhoard: Us and them are the only good students.

Gorgug’s nat20! What a WILD time for the dice to give that to him.

“You gotta ask. I ask everyone if they’re my dad.”

Gorgug’s dad (Gorbag) has just as low an intelligence score as his son. It’s hilarious but also sweet.

THE VULTURE

I thought that Digby and WIlma just found Gorgug in the woods? Maybe I’m not remembering right. I would guess that was their version of the stork story but they straight up told him what docking was so…

“Do any other federal agents want to step to Arthur Aguefort on the grounds of his school?”

The Aguefort way!

I wonder what Sam has to say about her former BFF selling her out like that and also getting murdered.

It seems like Gorgug was put on the guest list for hell by accident (his relieved reaction was adorable) but I thought that was orc heaven?

Interesting Gorthalax still has pull in hell when he’s a high school coach now.

BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL

How did he watch the fight? Do they have pay per view in hell?

“I doubt Cathilda will end up here.”

Bill is just such a maniac. I love him so much. I wanna say I can’t believe that killing the devil dril tweet was serious but I can. It’s Bill.

Bill and Fabian having a casual convo in HELL.

Oh my God, Fabian’s mom stabbed Bill’s eye out and he proposed on the spot. No wonder Fabian is so into Aelwen. It’s in his DNA.

What a dope ship.

I can’t believe Emily tricked me into thinking that her end speech wasn’t in service to some nonsense. She held it together for so long but I should have known bc it’s EMILY.

“Young lady, I have no idea who that is and I’m telling you right now yes. I will make whoever that person is vice principal.”

Adaine: Uhhhh….we should find Zayn.

Aww, Zayn’s parents were also terrible elves. 

Unwanted Wingwoman Kristen Applebees

lol at Adaine casting Ray of Sickness on everyone suggesting she date ghost Zayne. Great callbacks to the early eps all around. 

Don’t @ me, but Adaine w/ a ghost boyfriend who also had terrible elf parents might be kinda sick.

“Tomorrow, we’re gonna start training you on how to actually swordfight.” Uhhh, I kinda love Fabian’s mom now?

She literally hasn’t been sober in 15 years. Icon.

“I didn’t know you spoke Tornado.”

Siobhan’s late season tendency to just flip things/people off is hilarious.

Wild that Adaine’s parents just legit DITCHED her that hard and she was like, f ‘em. Clean break.

“She’s helping me spread something.”

Gorgug has so many friends now!!!!!

Lol, Fabian’s whole journey has just been about becoming captain of the Owlbears.

Riz got his PI License. 

Lou and Fabian immediately being so mad at the idea of his mom (Hallariel?) getting with Gilear. Emily/Fig having an equal but opposite reaction. 

“Mama, I will kill this man.”/“I’ll kill you first, it’s not up to you.”

Sandra-Lynn gets with Jawbone. Did Brennan just roll to pair up everyone?

Also, the group is almost all related or quasi-related now. Gorthalax got with Sklonda which makes Fig and Riz sorta siblings. Gilear got with Hallariel making Fig and Fabian sorta siblings. Jawbone sorta adopted Adaine and he got with Sandra-Lynn, again making Adaine kinda siblings with Fig. Plus Fig claimed Gorgug as a sibling a lot of eps ago and if Kristen sticks with Tracker then she’ll marry into this mess. Crazy!

Fabian totally dipping on the sequel hook because he’s gonna be busy trying to break Aelwen out of jail.

I’ve been keeping up with the fanart but there was some in here I hadn’t seen and it was super dope!

I’m so glad we had the after epilogue-epilogue. It was a very nice send-off.

Adaine using her oracle authority to get Zayn back into school! She’s so good. 

Lol and she helped Basrar so he can grant other wishes. I love that this is the NPC that she decided she was going all in for.

Riz and Adaine join AV club! Idk why I love that detail.

Riz cutting off Adaine’s very good question about her jacket w/ his PI talk.

“They’re our rivals.”/“Into it.”

“Is ‘The Ball’ not your real name?” I love Fabian so much.

Zac doing Gorgug’s excited crack-y teenage voice when he’s just concentrating on that and not playing the game is so adorable. He’s just so sweet and enthusiastic and a good kid.

“Guess that tin flower worked, huh?” I cry.

I love that Gorgug’s happy ending is basically just that he has friends now. And that’s literally all he wanted starting out. 

“FIG! GO TO BARD CLASS!”

Aww, Ragh and Gorgug are friends now.

I knew it! I at some point pitched the idea of Ragh ending up with one of the AV guys so he would be w/ someone who had enough intelligence to keep him from dying and I’m 90% sure it’s somewhere on my blog but I can’t be bothered to find it right now. But anyway, he’s in the lgbt club w/ Ragh and Kristen so it’s def a possibility! 

“My bitch sister? Don’t you fucking dare.” (lol, if that happens then the group will be even more related)

Fabian considering recruiting the Cubbys for his rescue attempt of Aelwen.

“Gilear!” I love that Fig loves Gilear now but still calls him by his first name.

And that was Fantasy High! 

I have at least two more posts in the hopper: And epilogue retrospective type deal and also the official JQ37 ranking of all the adults in Fantasy High.

Thanks for sticking with me this far you guys. I can’t draw to save my life and I don’t really do fic so this is the one little way I can contribute to this thing I love so much. 

It’s been real and I’ll see you all soon for an epilogue because, no surprise, I have more things to say. 

#fantasy high #asks #anon #Anonymous

[jq37]

sooo.... what’s the tea on the new ep? :)

**spoilers for family in flames**

I have so much to say I’m not drafting this on tumblr lest it crash and I lose a soul-crushing amount of yelling into the void.

And, I gotta say, THIS episode is the reason I haven’t posted my adult rankings list yet. THIS RIGHT HERE. I KNEW some crap was gonna go down and force me to make some HUGE adjustments.

Also, We are feeling vindicated in this house today! But let’s start from the top and work our way down.

“Raise your hands if you really care about your parents.”

Fabian having to be like, “Look, your parents suck but don’t you have siblings?” (Kristen: Ugh, I guess)

Adaine pointing out that she cares about Gorgug’s parents.

Brennan listening to them argue about what to do like he doesn’t know they’re about to be arrested for a whole ass MONTH.

Fig wanting to method act while texting the phone, pretending to be scared.

So is the arcade owner (Frank Dunford) relevant? Brennan had the name on hand. But maybe it was just him being a good worldbuilder and anticipating the question. I feel like it’s probably that because this is late in the game to be introducing new people who are super relevant.

“Gilear’s got a little knife”

I KNEW those arcade prizes were gonna be gear they could pick up! ALWAYS RAID THE ROOM. Some of that stuff might have helped in the fight. I loved the group silently reading the cards and exchanging them to whoever they thought it would help most in the background as Brennan did the ID spell.

“This has been, if I may say so, the *best* use of the identify spell.”

I love that Adaine thanks everyone, including her inanimate spells. She’s just a good person.

OK so this episode addressed a LOT of questions I had about how these literal children were getting away with all of these murders and such. Apparently, the adventuring academy kids traditionally just get away with this stuff because of Arthur’s influence and the nature of adventurers.

Adaine coming in hot with the diplomatic immunity and then remembering, oh wait, we’re at war w/ Falinel.

Fig immediately starting smoking when she gets arrested.

I love the federal agent outsider with perspective coming in and being rightfully horrified by the absolute nonsense that’s been going on the past 15 episodes.

Is Riz’s mom the only competent cop at this station? Is there a one competent adult per location rule?

Bill Seacaster Upon Learning the Bad Kids are In Jail: Did you try to escape?

“How are things going?”/“I mean bad. I’m in jail.”

Fig upon offhandedly and indirectly being called a vigilante by Sklonda: Thank you.

Emily loses it whenever anything happens in Gilear’s orbit.

Wild that Adaine decided to spontaneously call Goldenhoard considering what happened later. Like, it wasn’t a completely out of nowhere decision and it was totally logical but they could have easily overlooked that decision. 

Like, I know things happen later that make this kinda moot but I loved Goldenhoard’s conversation with Adaine in jail. “Don’t to talk to anyone without a lawyer and kill anyone you have to to get out. The school will pay for the rezzes.”/“That’s exactly what our plan was. God, I love this school.”

Although, sidenote, I feel like you can only easily rez someone within a minute? Like, I know there are other D&D spells that let you do it after a longer period of time but with the whole phoenix egg thing and the fact that they haven’t come up so far, I feel like Brennan isn’t using the in this setting for stakes reasons.

Man that whole conversation with Fig and her mom. Emily plays Fig so balls to the wall that I kinda forget sometimes that she’s actually an intelligent adult woman who knows what she’s doing with the character so I really shouldn’t be surprised with how well she stuck the emotional beats of this episode.

Gorthalax man! TyraWeWereAllRootingForYou.gif If he left, like, actually left and isn’t just held up somehow, then that’s gonna be really not great for Fig’s general psyche. 

Kristen COMPLETELY undercutting the moment by point blank asking if they had sex.

No wonder Sandra-Lynn was so worried about Fig. She was totally Fig growing up. Which, lol, she’s not even half tiefling. She was just *like that*

Oh so Gilear has always been super lame. Good to know.

Fig: I think I have mommy issues./The Rest of the Party: You have all the issues.

Fabian: You’re trying to hook up with a 25 year old adult./Fig: What do you mean trying?I’m successfully kissing him once every couple weeks. (Which, lol but also I’m glad that’s as far as it got…you know if it has to go any amount forward).

They just let Bill into the cell?????

Lou when Zac rolls a 1 for perception on Bill Secaster and he knows what’s coming: Don’t fucking do this. (Everyone else: Already trying not to lose it)

Zac’s Gorgug being contemplative and also completely wrong face is so funny to me every time.

“Why would you kill me?”/“Why would you know that?”

Who is more insane? Gorgug for suggesting him and Fabian could be twins (aren’t they different ages????) or Bill for thinking he’s so awesome he could somehow do that?

Kristen trying to help FIg distract Bill by blurting out, “Have you ever had sex?” After the conversation where he said point blank he’s slept with 100s of orc women. 

Fabian yelling at his dad is kinda undercut by continuing to call him papa in the most poncy accent.

I don’t think I’ve articulated this properly before but this episode really drove it home: Fabian and Bill have a *close* relationship but not an entirely healthy one. Like, better than Adaine and her parents by leaps and bounds but he wrestled his son in a jail cell while his friends just watched. Like, who does that?

Imagine if Riz had tried to get between Bill and Fabian. 

Also imagine being the rest of the party just sitting there, watching that go down.

“We’ve spent so much of our lives obsessed with our dads and we’ve completely ignored our moms.”/“You’re just again talking about yourself.”

I can’t believe Fig’s suggestion spell would have worked if head boss in charge fed lady hadn’t been there. Speaking of her, as soon as she showed up I knew they weren’t going to be able to shenanigan their way out of this one (which is literally the word Emily used, hilariously). I don’t think even a nat 20 would have gotten them very far. Remember last week when I said that I was sure there was going to be a prom finale but I was also pretty sure there was still a good chunk of time before prom? As soon as they got arrested and the feds showed up I was like, “Oh they are not getting out until prom for sure.”

Siobhan trying not to laugh while Emily tries a ridiculous plan that might have worked in a different episode honestly.

Ally trying to Pirates of the Carribean her way out of the jail cell.

The cops didn’t even take their stuff in a month!

“I’m glad this is in my head and no one else can hear things like this.”

I love how Fabian rolls his eyes at Adaine for thanking her spells but he always thanks the Hangman.

Realistically the Hangman would have told Fabian the plan before it happened but the way it played out was soooo good.

The return of Mr. Cubby!!!! I was hoping it would be him but man! It was still so awesome to see happen. I wonder if Brennan introduced that family specifically in case the group ever needed to be busted out of jail (a likely need).

“Laws are threats made by the dominant socioeconomic ethnic group of a given nation.”

“You guys wanna make some bacon?”

“That was on fire the whole time? You’re so brave!” Adaine likes adults who aren’t her parents so much.

Riz being like uhhhhh my mom works here.

“To the AV club!”/“It’s been months!”

OK so they took a palimpsest from Bill in this episode. That was there to tip them off that he’s up to something I’m sure, but I feel like that could also turn out to be a Chekov’s gun for next ep. I’m sure the ability to trap someone’s should would be useful in the finale.

S/O to Brennan for his excellent foreshadowing throughout the episode and honestly the whole series.

Siobhan thinking to check the trash folder of his computer was a good move, even if it didn’t end up being the right one.

OK, strap in guys. This is where things get WILD.

Siobhan’s “Oh shit!” when she got halfway down the page of Watches and Wards and then that Harry Potter sounding sting in the background.

(Before I get any further, I love that Adaine’s first thought was well that means my sister isn’t Kal Vaxis because she thinks her sister is the root of all evil).

But WOW. After all the trash talking of the old oracle, it turns out Adaine is the new eleven oracle! And she has been since EPISODE ONE. I almost thought she was gonna be *that* elven oracle because of the questions the cast was asking but nope. It is, as Zac and Siobhan put it, a The Santa Clause situation where the last one dies and someone else gets the job.

Brennan’s faint amusement as they work through that is so good.

You know what’s kinda hilarious in hindsight about that? I said before that, so far, every person Adaine has pegged as trash has ended up being trash of the highest order and an enemy of the party and of course she’s been good at predicting things! She’s the literal oracle.

Am I reading this wrong or is the Religious Studies teacher name Yolanda Badgood?

Also the sheet says “Lunchlad (Official Title)” RIP dude.

Emily low key thinking this is going to be about pay disparity between the races.

Will putting the book back retroactively get rid of anything bad currently cast in school?

Brennan going, “Nothing happens.”/“You see an upside down waste paper basket.” Is such a GM mood. I had a session once where I spent half an hour just saying, “You’re looking at the door,” in various ways.

No one knows what Goldenhoard’s name actually is and it’s the second to last episode.

I feel like Brennan must have gotten forehead/cheek kissed a lot as a child because he’s constantly having NPCs do it. 

Are elves in this setting actually immortal (barring being actually killed) or just long lived? Because Adaine talks like she’s immortal but I wasn’t sure. Anyway, newsflash Adaine. You’ve been mortal this whole campaign! Because apparently, the elven oracle always eventually dies. 

I love that Adaine finally confronted the oracle about sinking on a ship and actually ended up kinda sympathizing with her. I can’t believe this is how that running joke ends.

Fabian at the ghost of the past eleven oracle who’s imparting wisdom on Adaine: Who are you?

Ally: Can I do something weird? (Dude, when do you not?)

Ally mumbling through an inspiring spell as Murph clues in to the paperwork discrepancy that blows the plot twist wide open. And then miming the whole thing in the background as the scene goes on.

“He was mean so I thought that meant he was a good guy.” More stern than mean really but yeah! Same Murph!

You know how you know things are about to get real? When the DM starts letting you do stuff like bust down doors without even rolling for it because there are bigger fish to fry.

The 69 glyphs of binding. Nice.

But in seriousness, Kal Vaxis (apparently it’s spelled Kalvaxus but I can’t be bothered to change that in this post) was apparently trapped by Arthur and bound to work at Aguefort (as Goldenhoard) because…he’s a wildcard I guess. Sidenote, can you imagine what this season might have looked like if Arthur hadn’t died? Or was that always the plan for him to die in some way? Like to resurrect an NPC maybe if the crew hadn’t lost 2 party members.

Man when he said last ep that the girls were going back to school I thought OK that makes sense because it’s the AV computer that Biz used or maybe it’s Penelope. But I totally overlooked teachers.

OK so the binding spell specifically says “as long as I live” and Arthur is dead. So….what does that mean exactly? And this plan seems to have been in motion from before Arthur died. What does that mean? Also, if that wording means he’s freed when Arthur dies, what was Arthur thinking killing himself???? Did he need Kristen to sneak him into heaven so he could talk to Sol and do some scheming or something? AHHHHH I have so many questions.

Also in the binding is a clause about tea. Now, first of all, Arthur, bro. Come on. Second of all, a lawyer really should have looked at that. “I will drink anything you give me”? I work at a law firm. I’m a lowly first year but even I know that’s a terrible thing to put in a contract. I’m sure y'all non lawyers know that too!

Karam-Kajam (the binding spell words) kinda looks like “magic maker” backwards. That doesn’t mean anything. I just wanted y'all to know I was freeze framing every thing that might be a clue.

OK ok ok, so I’ve been saying for a while now (in posts but mainly over chat) that all this bad stuff must be like connected to a central person in service of a central goal but the players were probably all unconnected wild cards acting in self interest. The one thing I couldn’t quite put together was what because these plots have been mainly unconnected. But now, we have it! All the weird things starting a war (by manipulating the harvestmen), getting 7 maidens (by manipulating Biz), and reinstating prom king/queen (by manipulating (?) Penelope and Dayne, also yes! my wild card guess was that prom king/queen was going to be part of a spell or curse or something. Guess it was prophecy but yes! vindication!) are parts of a prophecy on how to bring back Kalvaxis! (Along with him getting his “glittering treasure”?)

But yeah! No wonder it was so hard to put the pieces together! They all connected but only through a prophecy. Good job Bren!

“The sun shall fall from the heavens” is part of the prophecy which makes me think Sol or Helios might be involved in this somehow.

Ally: There are definitely going to be 7 virgins at prom. (That deserved a rim shot).

Good on Murph for making sure none of them were on the virgin list bc that would have been a pain in the ass to find out mid-fight. Also, I KNEW “Where are their bodies” was the question to ask last ep when Biz said they were going back to their bodies.

“Who told you that? An oracle?”

I hope Adaine just uses her oracle status to make sick one liners like, “I predict this is gonna hurt,” before she witchbolts someone. She never does her actual job. 

Adaine who hates her family, righteously indignant: Between our houses and the world, you expect us to choose our houses?

The rest of the group who loves their family: BYEEEEE.

Well, no. Kristen also had reservations before she remembered her brothers existed.

Adaine texting her mom: You should probably leave.

Siobahn and Ally fistbumping over their mutual not caring about their parents.

OK so what’s up with the rat? What’s so important about the rat? And what’s up with Zayne? We still haven’t figured out what’s up with him.

Still not clear on if the crystals trap your physical body or just your spirit and leave your physical body dormant irl.

So that’s how they got rid of the adults for the fight. Nice job again Brennan.

As far as I can tell, Brennan made up this usage of the word palimpsest and I’d never heard of the word before and now I type it so much. Wild.

“I’m calling an Uber. You use the minute to go look at as much shit as you can. Jump in the Uber with me, come to my house. Look Rudolpho will be here in two minutes in a Honda Civic. Use one of those minutes. Go.”

A Knight to Remember. 

They freaking Chitty Chitty Bang Bang to Kristen’s house.

I love how Uber Drivers in this world are still gunning for 5 stars.

OK, time for the most stressful 30 minutes of Fantasy High (so far).

I think the wagering mechanic Brennan used for the fights was brilliant. For each conflict a d20 was rolled. 1-6=epic fail. 7-14=bad but not awful. 15-20=favorable outcome. The twist was that if the person chose to help their family they could give up half their HP and 14 spell levels and he would roll with advantage.

Everyone quickly took that deal except Adaine who truly does not give a damn about her family (and also, reasonably, thought that they wouldn’t even be at home. Idk why they apparently were tbh).

When Emily said, “She’s a complex person and she’s allowed to be,” that was the moment I was like, “Oh yeah. She’s not actually Fig. IRL she knows what’s happening.”

Siobhan uses her divination roll of 18 to save Kristen’s family without having to risk anything but the Ally turns around and decides to take the deal to try and save Adaine’s family WHEN ADAINE DOESN’T EVEN CARE. But it makes sense that Kristen would.

Lou’s monolog as Brennan rolls about how nerve wracking and terrible it is to have no idea what’s going on.

“This is the worst thing I’ve been a part of.”

“I was wondering why my mom visited me and humanized herself and this is exactly why.”

Lou/Fabian: What if my fucking family dies? (F O R E S H A D O W I N G, albeit unknowingly)

Brennan (sagely): It couldn’t have been any other way./Siobhan: It could’ve been!

lol at Adaine trying to trigger that ice cream later wish at their darkest moment (so far). Also, not that I think Brennan ever forgot about it but now I’m for sure it’s gonna come up next ep bc if nothing else that would have reminded him.

OK first up, Fig and her mom.

“Dang they’re already organized with costumes?”

That was so boss, her mom getting revived and then IMMEDIATELY shooting two guys w/ her bow.

Emily LEGIT crying through that scene. The whole room was on an emotional tightrope. You can tell.

Where in the mountains Sandra-Lynn!? I want specifics Sandra-Lynn!!

I love the idea of her jumping out of a window onto a dope griffin’s back. Fig’s mom just bought herself a bunch of spots on my grown-up rankings list.

Ally: THAT WAS NUMBER ONE

Me: SAME.

Next Riz at Strongtower

I knew Sklonda was going to be in the secret room!

I love that apparently Riz can recognize his mom’s gun by hearing it.

I know it was in the promo but Riz’s mom being like, “I was so scared you were gonna ask me to prom” was hysterical.

You just know Sklonda and Agent Angela have been fighting like cats and dogs this past month.

Riz and his mom high fiving. They have the best relationship.

Gorgug and the Thistlesprings

lol, looks like his parents had the easiest time wrecking their intruders.

But based on how it was described as compared to everyone else (bar Fabian–we’re getting there), it sounds like he got pretty dang hurt.

And I guess they have a tank (which they usually use to mow the lawn) and a bomb chest? Wild.

Anyway, if anything had happened to them insert Rosa B99 meme.

“You come to the tree, you better be ready to never fucking leave, you understand?” So boss. (Also, is that a pun?)

Gorgug’s parents launched a satellite while Gorgug was in jail.

Kristen and co.

Kristen’s dad (who is the worst): You think these guys were illegals, what?

Kristen: I’m gonna take the car, byeeee.

Kristen and Adaine bonding over their terrible parents.

I’m Concerned about Kristen’s brothers.

Abernants

They poofed out. Idk why they were still there to begin with.

So the damage they took was supposed to represent the danger the took in their respective fights. Kristen got Adaine’s divination roll meaning her family was fine either way but she did take damage for Adaine’s family. But the fight was already over by the time they got there. So, in story, any injuries sustained must have been from the fight at her house, even though that wasn’t technically the deal.

Anyway, Adaine doesn’t care about her family so let’s not waste any time moving onto

Seacaster manor

Geez

OK, you guys. Let me tell you my buildup to the realization that Bill had to die.

In the first set of episodes, when tone was established, I said to myself, a parent is going to die. I don’t know who, but someone will.

Then, Bill gave them a training montage and I thought, curse of the mentor. He’s going to die. Besides, he’s one of the biggest parental figures and he’s larger than life–perfect for a fall.

Then Sklonda took down the Harvestmen and I briefly shifted my worry to her.

But then Fabian started clashing with Bill. And I remembered all the constant talk of his mortality.

And then, this ep, Brennan made him choose between his mom and dad and I was pretty sure. (sidenote: Fabian yelling at his mom the same ep Adaine said he has a great relationship with his mom. But, like, compared to her, maybe. Also, mean Brennan.)

And then Fabian lost an eye (with a description that still makes me wince) and I KNEW. Once he lost his eye, there was no way Bill could leave the fight alive, thematically.

Honestly, it was a wrap when Fabian played the video from his dad. I was worried he’d die before he got there. 

(It was a low blow, and I credit you that.)

Why were there Harvestmen attacking Fabian’s house and no one elses?

Fabian’s mom just drinking while the house is being raided.

I was so sure the tuxed Harvestman who attacked Fabian was going to turn out to somehow be Daybreak or something. Anyway, it has to come up again. There’s no reason for that level of detail otherwise. And tux sounds like prom attire.

Lou rolls a nat 1 and then rerolls it because he has the lucky trait. What’s funny is just started listening to NADNDPod and Murph (who reminded Lou about the lucky thing) disallowed one of his players from rerolling a nat 1 even w/ the lucky in the last ep I listened to. I don’t remember if the circumstances were different though.

Bill handcuffing himself up to keep fighting. Yikes.

Anyway, ugh that whole death scene. I would write more but this is closing in on 4k words and I’ve been working on this for hours. I just wanna say, that was a perfect way to go out for him. Killing 60 people and then getting stabbed by his son and exploding. So baller (as was Fabian jumping out the window onto his bike and catching Bill’s sword. He has so many cool swords now).

It’s a crime no one does animatics for this show.

We also got a piece of the puzzle. Bill was the one supplying the palimpsests (or at least one of the ones. who was doing it before?) not for an evil reason. Just a chaotic neutral reason of wanting to recapture the glory days. So now we know that.

I mentioned this before but…Fabian is Thor.

“I SHALL LEAP INTO HELL AND KILL THE DEVIL HIMSELF” and Bill Seacaster is dril apparently.

I love Fabian destroying the nice thing Bill said about him to preserve his legacy.

Ally: HE COULD HAVE SURVIVED.

I appreciate so much that Lou knew his character so well that without any hesitation he stabbed Bill and that was the right choice.

Whew, that was a lot.

Also, not that I don’t trust Brennan but it’s wild that Bill, the most thematically appropriate parent to die, was the only one who failed his roll apparently. 

Aww at Zelda’s message to Gorgug. She made him a playlist! So 80’s high school. It gives him a bonus! Also I really wanna know what’s on the list. Like, is it all fantasy rock puns or actual songs? Yay for Brennan giving them cool items for good RPing. 

Live band. Nice.

Emily and Zac both rolled 20’s for initiative for next week’s fight. Hopefully that’s a good omen. We have no way of knowing because THERE’S NO PROMO FOR NEXT WEEK.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

This isn’t edited. This is more than 4000 words. This is so long my computer is about to die. Thank you and goodnight. 

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