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tamyrawilliams · 1 year

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Emre comes to massage Tamyra and they end up talking about a lot of things. Revelations are being had, decisions are being made. ft @akbartheolder

Emre slowly his way towards Tamyra's home. It had been a while; granted Emre got those hazy green blips still, some flickering memories featuring Tamyra's lovely face...only that hadn't been Tam, just like that fake hadn't been him. It would be easy to avoid Tamyra these days - they both seemed occupied these days, and after their last attempt to find Kaz went so south, things just...fizzled. Went stale. No need to talk about it; neither of them were like that. Tamyra left angry, Emre left despondent, and they simply didn't reconnect since.

But Emre wasn't the type to let things lay fallow for long, not when he found himself thinking about Tamyra. Maybe even missing her company, honestly. She'd been the first person to find him on Meridium, when Flight 441 crashed; he wasn't ashamed to say he'd grown rather attached to Tamyra Williams, in a strange, detached, fond way.

"Oi, Tammy-darling," Emre called out, once he got closer. "You about? It's been a little while innit." Emre lifted the bottle of scented coconut oil, gave it a waggle. "I come bearing an offer."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Tamyra didn't really expect Emre to show up at her place that afternoon - or any afternoons these days, really. They didn't really talk anymore, not as casually and often as before, and that was generally normal for Tamyra for the most part. And with Emre, that was mostly the pattern, even if this was a longer period than it ever has been before.

Not that she minded, not for one bit. Emre was fun and they worked well together, definitely one of the good ones from that plane crashing.

"Hey, I'm here, what's up?" she leaned against her entrance door's frame after Emre's initial call out to her, watching him get closer, wiggle that scented coconut oil in his hands. "Oh, and you brought a gift with that offer as well, now I must hear that out. Especially if it ends with that oil in my home. I am starting to get low on my own bottle. Whatever you are doing, keep doing it, by the way, they are too good, my skin is much happier using these than anything else, really."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

"I don't intend to stop making oil, if that's what you mean...but that bloody fake of mine used up all the oil during that month, and never bothered to make any more. I'm getting on that, but - this is from my personal reserve innit. Been cleaning out my old home and I found it. Better to use it than save it so...I thought to myself: who would like a massage? And, well -" Emre motioned to Tamyra. "Person on the island who deserves it the most, obvi."

Emre let himself smile. "And before you think I'm just being English and sarcastic, I am thinking about public morale innit. My theory is - if Tamyra Williams is happy and well-oiled and relaxed mood, she'll strut about giving everyone something gorgeous to look at. And she'll be dazzling and happy. Then - everyone will be happy."

A shrug. "Pretty good theory if you ask me. So. You up for it, darling? Or I could just leave it here."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Tamyra couldn't help a small smile on her lips that grew bigger and bigger as Emre kept on explaining her theory. Keeping her happy - with oil and personal massage, no less! - and through that keeping the entire island happy too. She could easily see where this was going, but she wasn't going to send Emre away, no. She could have some fun herself.

"Definitely a good theory, yes. I can get behind it. Anyone keeping me happy is something I am down for, and I will never turn away good oil and free massage. Come on in, though, you cannot just keep standing there if you wanna massage me," she said and let Emre in.

“I've got some water that I can offer-- well, I have more, really, but I think the water is the best thing I can offer to a waterbaby, right?" She handed over a bottle of fresh water. "So how are your massaging skills exactly? What can I expect?"

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

"Water's fine," Emre accepted readily. "More thirsty than usual after them bloody trees innit." He took the water bottle and drained a third of it right there, then scoffed as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "These hands is proper talented, sweetheart. Ask any married woman from my ends. Happy endings for the lot of them." A brag as he cracked his knuckles, rolled his shoulders as if getting warmed up to win a marathon.

He motioned to Tamyra's fancy bed. "Want to do it there, or you got a place outside to stretch out in the sun? Tell me where it aches and let me do the rest, yeah?"

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

"Same with me. I feel like no water is enough these days." Though she mostly just spent time in the water - but Tamyra didn't work on the farm, she could have hours just to chill in water while Emre during all of that probably spent working his ass off on the farm.

She grinned. "Am I getting a happy ending too? Or is that not part of the offer here?" she couldn't help but ask before moving over to her bed. "Here's alright." She untied her bikini top and after a moment's of hesitation, she laid down onto her bed on her stomach - her burn scars on her back showing, but it's not like she could have hidden them anyway. "My shoulders and that top part of my back is where it aches most, if you could start there, please."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

"All I taste is green. Honestly I don't mind eating my veg - especially if curried right - but when I'm eating a bloody egg or fish and it still taste like bloody plant?" Emre kissed his teeth. "And that's not the half of it, innit. All types of problems since them bloody trees."

Tamyra teased, and Emre smiled. "I'm full-service, always. Whatever the lady wants," he said, the least aggressive proposition that Emre had ever used with Tamyra. As he knelt next to her bed, Emre removed his grandfather's ring from his finger, and the little shell bracelet from his wrist. He dangled it proudly in front of Tamyra's face, where she was reclined. "Like that? Wren made it for me, didn't she. Talented little thing, she is. Check - it says 'akhi'. Means 'brother'. She actually carved that in!"

He put it on Tam's little table, then squeezed some oil in his palms, rubbing it to warm it up before placing his hands on Tamyra's smooth shoulders. Scars or not - "Bloody hell, you've got the most gorgeous skin, luv."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

"Yeah, let's not even get into all the other problems." The need for water or the taste almost felt small, compared to the other consequences, and Tamyra didn't want to think about it right now. Just about the massage and that happy ending. "The lady definitely wouldn't mind a happy ending, mister," she smiled and gotten ready to just sink into her bed, enjoy his fingers and whatever else he wanted to do with her.

And then Emre had to take off a bracelet made of shells, dangle it in front of her face until she really looked at it and rub it in that Wren made it for him. She made one for Tamyra too, except she had no idea where it was now and she was pretty sure she would never get one more. That ship has sailed.

But no, focus, Tamyra. Massage, oil, Emre's hands, happy ending. "I knooooow. And your oils help them immensely," she sighed and tried to focus on his hands but then. "So you're one of those who deserves a Wren jewlery, hmm? Gets it even made especially for you..." She was not bitter or hurt, no. Not at all. Nor did her shoulders and most of her body tense up. Not. At. All. "How lucky you are."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

In response to her invite, Emre leaned in, dragging a slow kiss between Tamyra's shoulder blades, to the sweet jut of her spinal bone.

But then he focused. Because Emre actually did enjoy giving massages. It wasn't just all about the ulterior purpose - granted he'd never massage a man...well maybe he could imagine his hands on one man. Oh, and Iyaz of course - so much as just the feeling of success. Having a woman moan in the pleasure of worked muscles, the pleasure of touching her skin, giving attention, making someone happy through touch alone. He kneaded the heel of his palm against Tamyra's back, searching out the little knots and tense spots.

"I made her promise me to make one," Emre smiled, glancing at the pretty little bracelet. But he must've hit a pressure point, at the way Tamyra tensed. Emre pushed through. "Don't be jealous, c'mon. I'm sure she'll make one for you too innit. I don't need to be unique, just the first."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

"I'm not jealous," Tamyra snapped, not at all convincing that she wasn't, in fact, jealous. Even though she wasn't. She was hurt and annoyed and hated how effected she was, but she wasn't jealous. Nope.

"And anyway, I doubt she would make anything for me. She made it very clear that she wants nothing to do with me, so no bracelets or anything for me," she grumbled. Even though she did get one for herself. Probably the first one, despite what Emre thought his was. But admitting that would require explaining the fact that she didn't know where hers was or why Wren wouldn't make her another one and that was too embarrassing, so she just kept it for herself. Instead, she tried to get away from the topic, as one naturally does. "Can you-- a little bit further up-- there, yeeeah, right there, please."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Emre didn't pause in his attentions to Tamyra's muscles, but he was somewhat thrown off, surprised when Tamyra snapped at him. 'I'm not jealous' in a tone Emre knew quite well - from women, from his own mouth on occasion. 'I'm not jealous' to rhyme with 'I am extremely jealous'.

But why? Tamyra had a sister of her own apparently; surely she didn't want Wren as her sister too. The only other option was...nah. Emre mulled over Wren and her crush, but it couldn't possibly be Tamyra. That would be like saying Beyoncé was your crush; everyone did it, no one actually got it.

So he just moved to where Tamyra wanted him, fingers pushing down on a particularly hard knot. "Like that?" Emre asked quietly, accommodating where Tamyra shifted to get it just right. He worked at the muscle for a bit and then said, "I...think I made up with Kaz. I think...I think we sorted things out, a bit. He don't hate me no more, erm, I don't think. Took work, but. It was my doing, wasn't it."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Thankfully Emre didn't push the topic even though Tamyra wasn't quite subtle, and she rewarded him with moan as he knotted out a hard spot. "Yeah, just like that, don't stop please." Just a good massage and now no more talk of Wren and those stupid jewlery. Stupid, pretty, meaningful jewlery, but whatever.

Kaz was a much better topic anyway. "Yeah? I'm glad. I still don't fully understand what happened, but he is a good one, so getting him to not hate you anymore is good. And just-- whatever you're doing, keep it up. I am sure it'll work." She was curious, though. "What did it? What did you do that convinced him to forgive you?"

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

The last time Emre and Tamyra had talked about Kaz - or tried to - Emre had snapped at her. Told her he never wanted to talk about and of that with her again. He remembered feeling hurt, misunderstood and frustrated by (what he'd thought at the time) relentless pushiness. At the time, he'd hoped that Tamyra would be understanding and soft with him.

Well. The least he could do now, was give her that patience and softness he'd desired back then.

He smiled at her soft moan, her body relaxing more, muscles warming up nicely. "Right, well. The reason he cut me out, was because I was a dick to him innit. I was getting worked up over - over another matter that he was trying to help me with. It got too much, and I took it out on him, yeah. Said - I accused him of some horrid things, man. Told him he didn't give a fuck about me and that."

Emre kissed his teeth. "Pushed him away, didn't I. Like a prat, all because I was too scared and hurting innit." And to answer Tamyra's cautiously curious question. "Dunno if he's forgiven me yet, but I asked him for another chance, right. Because I missed him. And because I know I fucked up. And...fucking hell, I missed him so badly, Tam. It hurt how much I missed him."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Emre was trying to be patient and soft with Tamyra, and if Tamyra knew what he was doing, she would have appreciated it, but she didn't have a clue. She just figured they changed the topic - Emre wasn't always open about Kaz, that was part of their falling out initially too, so now it was interesting to hear Emre's side of it.

"You pushed him away and this isn't just anyone, it's Kaz, and he takes those things deeper than just anyone, so his trust is harder to earn back," she summarized what happened the way she saw him. "But he's given you another chance, right? You didn't just ask for one, he said he's open to it? I think as long as Kaz is open, you guys will patch things up."

Those last few words of his stuck deeper than she thought they would, though. And...fucking hell, I missed him so badly, Tam. It hurt how much I missed him. It hit her in that moment just how much she related to that sentiment, when it came to Wren. Even if she should not have felt like that - when Emre and her weren't talking much, she was just fine, she wasn't aching or thinking about what Emre threw into her face in the middle of an argument, and Wren and her weren't even fighting, she still just kept hearing those words, they way Wren dismissed her.

Ugh, she hated this. She didn't want this kind of revelations, it only made her feel worse. So instead she shifted and turned around and pushed her upper body up onto her forearm and leaned in, pressed her lips against Emre's. That was what they both wanted, right? They could just skip the foreplay-talk and get right to it.

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

"Who knew our Kaz would take things so deep. About me..." Emre murmured ruefully, his smile crooked and wry. But he hummed, agreeing that Kaz's trust was understandably tough to earn back. "Never thought someone would go that hard, not for the likes of me. Know what I mean? Sounds pathetic, but whatevs. Honestly still hard to believe, but I'm trying innit. Just got to knock some other fucked-up thoughts from my head."

And it seemed Tamyra had an idea how to do that. Emre leaned into the kiss without any protest, tasting her sweet perfect mouth. Even the little dip that the scar left on her upper lip - perfect against the swipe of his exploring tongue. A good, intense kiss, dotted by a shorter one, then a smaller one over that. And then, Emre pressed his forehead against Tamyra's, breathing heavily, mint and coconut.

"You sure I'm who you want, Tam? C'mon. I know I threw a pissy little wobbly about all this, before, but. I'm trying to be better about it. I missed our chats too." Emre continued his kisses along her nose, in the soft wet flutter of her eye. "Who would you rather be kissing right now, darling."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

The bottoming jokes were right there on the tip of Tamyra's tongue, but then the last second she decided to hold it back. They were actually talking about something good without arguing, she didn't want to mess it up with a badly times joke. Instead, she said, "And you got the attention of a good one. Kaz is a catch - but I am sure you're aware of that."

Then the kissing - thank god they were both into each other and knew that they could just provide easy fun to each other. Emre was always safe in that regard, and it was probably one of the best things that he showed up at her door.

And yet, something was missing. Something was glaringly missing and she could feel it in that moment - even though in the past it was mostly passion and physical between Emre and her, even that kind of desire and need was missing from Tamyra. She just wanted to forget and wanted anything else other than thinking about Wren but apparently Emre could not provide that. But still, she wanted to keep going, wanted to try and find a way to get lost in Emre.

Except he had different ideas, and Tamyra groaned when he pulled away, when he stopped them in the gentlest way possible. She didn't need gentle, she needed Emre to blank her mind. Instead he stepped right in the middle of what she didn't want to talk or think about.

"I'm not wishing to be kissing anyone else." She moved her head, pressing her lips against his again but even that attempt failed, nothing, she was just getting more frustrated, so instead she entangled herself from Emre completely suddenly - if he was closer, it was all soft and kind and she didn't want any of that right now. Instead she moved to the furthest part of the bed, pulled her knees up to her chest and ran her fingers through her hair. "Wren!"she snapped."I wish you would be Wren right now, are you fucking happy? Is that what you wanted to hear? I wish you were Wren and that is the last thing Wren would ever want so there. No jewlery, no nothing from her for me."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Tamyra was getting all tense again, undoing Emre's work on her with every unsatisfied shift and frustrated moan. She wanted this, but she didn't want this. Emre could feel it on her, or maybe within her. Maybe it was because they were waterbabies, but Emre could feel her pulse and currents like restless waves before a storm.

Tamyra could've told him to shut up and just fuck her like she wanted. Emre would've complied, even if he really had just come by to do something nice for her, a massage and maybe a bit of a reconnect. Fucking Tamyra senseless hadn't lost its thrill but maybe, just maybe Emre actually sought something more with her.

She told him no one and Emre would've accepted that, let Tamyra get over any discomfort with some heated physical attention. But she couldn't. Her urgent kisses became aggravated, and suddenly she was pushing herself away from him, to the edge of the bed, curled tight in a defensive little ball.

Emre stayed kneeling on the side of the bed, knowing what he wanted to hear - but still amazed that Tamyra said anything at all. About Wren. Wren. "She told me about her crush...that was you. She never said your name, I never had a clue, honest." Not that it really mattered; Emre knew Tam liked girls the way he liked boys. Well, one boy. "Darling..."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Crush. Wren told Emre about her crush on Tamyra. Tamyra couldn't help the bitter laughter that burst out of her as she rubbed her scar, in that moment somehow it was both a comfort and a hindrance, something she was ridiculously aware of in that moment.

"Do not fucking darling me right now Emre, I am not in the mood." She wasn't really sure what mood she was in, but not this. Not soft, not gentle, not sympathetic, even if Emre was trying all of that. In any other situation she would have most likely appreciated it, even later she would appreciate it, but in that moment, it felt too much.

"Crush," she repeated the word though, almost as if she was trying it out for the first time. Wren never said it so specifically, and Tamyra never asked, never really thought about it deeply, and yet it made all the sense. "She had a crush on me. Great. Fucking awesome. And I fucked it all up to the point where she wants nothing to do with me anymore. She wants people who aren't so judgemental around herself, were her exact words, actually. Great. Just fucking brilliant..."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Tamyra groused at Emre, but for once he wasn't reactive. He didn't need to be; he wasn't the one hurting right now. The way Tamyra laughed - angry and bitter, so angry but at what exactly? Emre stayed where he was, like if he moved then Tamyra might take flight or tell him to fuck off.

He settled on his heels, propping his head on the bed by his elbow. "What're you on about? What's even happened between you two? Wren's at some point where she's blaming herself for all sorts, and now you're blaming yourself too?" Emre reached out and poked Tamyra's thigh. "Bruv, c'mon bruv. I spilled all sorts to you about Kaz, didn't I. Bruv." Emre couldn't help the tease, since she didn't want to be called darling.

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Tamyra absolutely did not want to talk about this, not in the slightest, she wanted to curl up and forget about all of it, but somehow she couldn't stop spilling anymore - kind of funny how she was the one who originally asked Wren to keep things quiet about the two of them and yet she was thr one who kept bubbling out over and over again.

"What happened, bruv, was that we slept together a couple of times, had some nice chats, and then she realized that I slept with her father before he died and when I still was just annoyed with her and then naturally, she stopped talking to me. We had a couple of fights, but eventually things seemed to clear up, at least to a point where we were talking and then this stupid fucking fake me shit happened and all I know is that Wren made me a necklace but it's nowhere to be seen and by the time I woke up as me, she realized that I'm not the kind of person she wants to be around. Like I said, she said I'm too judgemental and she doesn't want people like that around herself at all." She dragged her palms across her face, groaning, wanting to feel anything other than what she was feeling right now. "And apparently she had a crush on me which-- I guess I should have known but I didn't until now so it was a bigger fuck up than I even realized."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

It really did come spilling out of Tamyra, undammed and unfettered by anything except her ability to see clearly. And really - how could Tamyra see clearly? The story she told was all twists and turns, ups and downs intertwined in what sounded to Emre, like a tangle that got harder to pull apart. She probably left out certain parts, because it had all gotten so complicated. Wren left defeated and discouraged, Tamyra left wondering how it all went wrong, and was it even right in the first place. At least, this was how it seemed to Emre, in the way Tamyra spoke. In a way that Emre had never heard Tam speak before.

Slowly, Emre moved closer to Tamyra. He didn't reach out of try to touch her, he just sat up on the bed with her. His feet still on the ground, his hands curled over the edge of her lovely mattress. Emre stayed quiet for a few beats before speaking again.

"And you miss her, innit. Kissing me, kissing others, but you're thinking about Wren."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Tamyra felt like a skittish animal who just wanted to run away from all of it. All of this. What was even the point of having this conversation? Why was Emre so gentle and soft when she didn't want him to be? (To be fair, she wouldn't have liked any approach, whatever Emre tried, she was simply in her feelings and had to get annoyed at something and this was somehow the one thing she picked, without what seemed like not much logic behind it.)

"Yeah, yeah I fucking miss her," she breathed, much more quiet suddenly, that tension in her body never leaving and yet Tamyra deflating all the same. She rubbed her face and groaned. "Fuck, it's so stupid. She was just supposed to be this annoying kid. That was who she was until-- well, until right before your plane crashed, I guess. But her parents died and she disappeared and that was that. And then she was back and I don't know, now I'm sitting here missing her so much. Like-- like it hurts," she echoed his words back to him. "Fuck." And then, just for the emphasis and because she didn't know what else to say, how else to deal with all of these feelings bubbling up inside of her that she's never known before, she said again, "Fuuuuck."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Emre reached over to his bottle of water which he'd also put on the table. Fortunately he didn't do anything sappy like offer Tamyra water, as if she was having a panic attack. He drank some himself, and then closed the bottle and lobbed it onto the space between them on the bed. Not an offer exactly, but. The longer Emre lived on Meridium the more he found water - drinking it, soaking in it, staring at it - to be as comforting as an embrace, or a kiss. Without another person having to be involved.

"It is fucking stupid," Emre agreed, but then looked at Tamyra over his shoulder, to meet her likely glare. "Feelings, I mean. Feelings like this. Feeling them is fucking stupid. Admitting them is even worse..." Emre tugged the shell bracelet over, something to toy with.

"Apparently Wren's felt this way for a long time, poor little thing. Puppy love, crush, whatever you want to call it - but she's not a little girl anymore. So this girl's held onto something this long...bloody brave of her, if you ask me. You'd think she'd grow out of it by now, innit. She didn't, though. Reckon that means something?"

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Tamyra just stared at the bottle between them - was it an offer for water or did Emre just put it down there or...? But then he said it was all stupid, what she just explained, and Tamyra's head snapped up, staring daggers at Emre.

"Are you fucking--" she started but then Emre continued, and alright, maybe, just maybe, he was on thin ice, but she wasn't going to murder him on the spot today. But she didn't know what to say anymore. No, she just didn't want to say anything anymore. Because yeah, all of this was stupid and she hated it, hated all of this - feeling this small and hurt and unsure of what she could even do now.

So instead Emre kept talking, about how brave Wren was for having feelings for Tamyra for so long, even though it all started when she was just a kid, and part of her wanted to pinch him and the other part of her just wanted him to keep going so she'd never have to say anything again. But of course he had to stop at some point. Tamyra just kept staring at him, and then after what felt like a small forever, she grabbed that stupid bottle, but instead of drinking from it, she just rested her chin on top of it as she held it just to keep herself tethered. "What so you think it means? What are you trying to say, Emre? I'm really not in the mood to try to read between the lines, so this would be the perfect time to spell things out."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Emre turned to Tamyra again, but this time it was an incredulous look. "Are you joking? Are you having a laugh, here. Honestly, Tam. You're so bloody resistant to thinking about this, that now you're asking me what I think any of it means? I don't bloody know! I'm not you, and I'm not Wren! You are - " Emre pulled his a breath, pressed his lips together and exhaled in a frustrated 'hnnnnnmmmgh' noise between his teeth.

"What the fuck is so wrong with Wren? Why're you resisting her so much? What the fuck is so bloody frightening about feeling something for someone as sweet as our little Wren. She's adorable and when she cares about you, it's honestly one of the best bloody feelings in the world. And I know you're capable of kindness for your mates, I know you've got a big heart for the people you care about, innit."

Emre splayed a hand. "And I'm not using the 'l' word here, if that's what you're so afraid of, alright? We're just chatting about being bloody affectionate to a good girl! What on earth do you want from her?"

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Tamyra's eyes flashed at Emre. "Do I look like I am having a laugh, Emre? Do I?!" but he just kept on going, taking her apart and acting like it was all so easy peasy, so ridiculously stupid that she didn't even just consider the solution and did it and in a way, this was actually helping because at least Tamyra could deal with anger. Or, well, deal with it better than with everything else she's been feeling.

"I don't know what I want from her. Is that so hard to fucking believe?!" she snapped at him once he was finally finished. "I don't know what any of this is because I've never actually felt like this. It doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with her, it doesn't mean that she isn't adorable or that she isn't sweet or whatever else you wanna throw into my face because I fucking know that, alright? I am very well aware of it. But whatever this is, it's fucking new for me and believe it or not, I am fucking terrified of it. Because in my experience, anyone taking even a single step in this direction, it lead to nothing else other than pain and mystery, eventually everyone got hurt, no matter how far they walked down this road and so yeah, excuse me for not being jolly happy to jump into anything with anyone.

"And before you say anything, just to remind you of the last fucking ten minutes, I am already hurting and nothing even happened. We slept together a few times and that's it. So yeah, I resist any and all of this because I do not want to feel like this, I do not want to be like this. I am not the person who keeps playing another person's words in my head over and over again. If somebody doesn't want to be around me? Who cares, I am the person who shrugs at it, not feel hurt about it and turn into-- into this. So fuck of with your 'why can't you just be affectionate' bullshit, it's not that simple."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Tamyra let loose, and honestly it was oddly gratifying to hear. Not because he wanted Tamyra to suffer - yes, Emre loved people suffering with him; but this? This was not one of those moments. He actually wanted Tamyra to be happy. He wanted Wren happy too.

So he smiled slowly, and then stretched out onto Tamyra's bed, making himself perfectly comfortable as he kept his gaze on her. Her stormy glare, her cutting words, all of it. "Flipping hell, you're so hot when you're angry. More than usual, like."

Emre reached out to her, kissing his teeth. "C'mon, luv. Hold my hand, give it a good squeeze. Just hold my hand, I swear I'll be good. Haven't I been good to you so far?" He scratched his head, curious that no whispering sabotaged his feelings or thoughts right now.

"I reckon a lot of things happened to get you this twisted up, dar - soz. I mean bruv. I'm sorry it hurts. Honestly, I am, I'm being serious now. It is frightening and, I mean, what. All the couples who should be tremendous - where the fuck are they even. Tomas and Libby? Yaz and Peter - granted that was more my fault than Iyaz's. Madi and...well that's a whole other story. Bloody hell, even Nick and Mik aren't as perfect as I want them to be. My parents..." Emre's brow furrowed. "Sometimes I wonder if they'd...if I'd grown up with them, what their marriage would look like now. No one seems to work out, does it. If anything's a joke, it's that innit. Not you. All ends in pain and misery..." Emre huffed, bitter agreement.

"Right. At least it's out, yeah. And if you ever want to chat about it more, you can chat with me. I won't take sides, I promise. If it's not worth the risk, then don't do anything. Let Wren go and she'll fly away. Suppose everyone does eventually innit."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Tamyra expected some kind of fight back. Or maybe she wanted one would be a better way of putting it. Arguing with Emre was safe, it was something she knew and welcomed instead of everything else. So when he just went and stretched out on her bed as if it was all over, complimenting her even, Tamyra stopped and just stared, shocked that and so confused about what Emre was even dong. She automatically gave him her hand, though if anyone was squeezing, it was him and not her, no.

"Wait, that's-- that's it?!" she sputtered, baffled and confused, reeling from the whiplash of these emotional rollercoasters. "I just yell at you all of that and you are just... suddenly alright with it all. You have been pushing me and pushing me on this and now it's just all agreements? Telling me to let Wren go and everything is solved? I can come back to you for more of all of this if I ever need-- what? What the hell, Emre?!"

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Emre batted his foot lightly against her ankle, as his smirk grew wider, more catlike. He waggled her hand too, thumb brushing light circles over her beautiful dark-skinned knuckles. Scars on those knuckles. "What can I say? I've renounced my fitnah. I'm a lover not a fighter," Emre said, and then kissed his teeth again.

"Oh now come on. What d'you want, a row? I'm tired of arguing and resisting all this, everythng, all the time. Aren't you? Haven't we bloody been through enough, Tamz. You live in hell, you've lived through hell. One bloody misery after another. You likely got whispers in the back of your head, telling you that you're a dickhead and fuck everyone else. You really want to be yelled at again? By me?" Emre snorted. "The fuck do I got any right to yell at you."

Emre shrugged, and leaned to the side, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his backpack. "Yell at me all you want, if you want. I'm tapped out, bruv. I think you're wonderful, and I adore Wren. I don't want to see either of you unhappy. If you're so positive you can't be happy together, what'm I supposed to do about it." Emre shook the pack, a cigarette popping out of the top. He offered Tamrya to take it. "We got enough bollocks making us miserable innit."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Tamyra just stared at Emre - when did he become like this? What has happened to have him react like this? What the hell was she supposed to do with this now? Yes she wanted him to yell at her but no, she didn't want him to yell at her either, but she felt like she made a fool of herself already, she couldn't just say all of that and make it worse. So instead - still kind of huffing and puffing but her body slowly letting go of the tension already - she uncurled herself and drank what was in the bottle she was clutching to and then laid down onto the bed, sprawled out.

She took a cigarette and just kept staring at the ceiling as they smoked in silence for a bit. All of it, everything they've been yelling and then not yelling at each other was boiling inside of her, and she needed to figure out what didn't sit with her well from all of it.

It wasn't so hard in the end, though, even if for Tamyra it was actually really hard and complicated - or maybe just scary more than anything, really. "I don't want to just-- let it all go," she said quietly in between two smokes. "I don't want to just not talk to her anymore or see her hang out with that stupid, boring bitch, Beatriz," the woman wasn't stupid or boring or a bitch, Tamyra spoke to her exactly once, but that didn't really matter, she just saw Wren choosing her over even just simply hanging out with Tamyra and that bothered her so stupidly much, it was ridiculous. "I wanna be the one that's there, whatever that means. I don't just-- I don't just wanna leave it at this."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Tamyra finally relaxed (kind of) and gave in, and after Emre lit her cigarette for her, he stretched his arm out under her like a makeshift pillow, as he lay back too. The two of them, just staring up at the rafters of her well-made home. Except - "You should hire someone to clean on the regular for you. Not me, so don't even try. Some shy mouse with no purpose would likely jump at a chance to clean innit. Daily sweeps for insects and that, straighten up your plates and clothes, that sort of thing."

Emre snorted at the mention of Beatriz, such terrible castigation of the poor girl. "You still afraid of people knowing? That you like girls and that. I'm still afraid, if I'm honest. But I've been...experimenting innit. Seeing if people will mock me or accuse me of hating gays and that. So far it hasn't been..." Emre frowned, and took another drag of his smoke. "No one cares, is what. Sometimes I think I could scream 'I've sucked cock' from the mountain top and all people here would reply is: so what, so have we."

Emre stubbed his cigarette out, then shifted to turn and look at Tamyra. Nuzzle against her face. "All I'm saying is maybe you've got to really figure yourself out first, before you can figure out what you want with Wren. Seems you've both hurt each other innit. Refusing to think about it will only make it worse."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

"Hey now," Tamyra exclaimed. "Are you trying to tell me that my place is messy and dirty? Because I will kick you out, hmm?" She was mostly joking, though -and really, the idea wasn't the worst. If she could find somebody to do the cleaning for her, it would make things so much easier. It would have to be somebody whom she could trust in, which she could look into. Hold some trials or something.

Tamyra gave a small, tentative nod. "It's getting better, I think, but yeah, it's scary to just-- to do those first steps, you know? When you tell somebody. But yeah, I noticed that most people are generally good about this like-- it's strange, how different of a world I came from and what this world here is, in regards to sexuality." She paused for a bit and then added, "I slept with Lina."

Emre was probably right, she needed to figure herself out before she could do anything else, before she'd talk to Wren and figure things out with her too, but she's been trying to sort this out for two years and it didn't feel like it would be two more days and then it would he done, and if she waited-- Wren would just move on and that would be that. And that thought, as it struck him, actually had her worried it would be irreversible, if she took as long as she needed to figure herself out. But instead of voicing that, she asked, "Have you figured yourself out? Before you went to Kaz?" There was not poking, no malice in her voice, she was just curious, wanted to see how Emre looked at all of it from his side.

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

"Right- fine, I'll give it one clean-over, yeah? As an apology for...everything else I've done to piss you off. I know that list is long, innit," Emre teased Tamyra back. And really, Emre did like to clean, he couldn't help it. Tidy meant approval. From parents, then social workers, then sergeants, then bosses. Make it clean, keep it clean. Words to live by. "But after my reset, you'll be on your own. Find someone to keep to my standards."

First steps. Him and Tam had spoken about this before, those first steps. It seemed a really long time ago, as Emre thought about it. "It's just...not as important as It was in my head, innit. Half of who I was, was tied up in being a man. Everything I thought being a man meant." It was different for Tamyra though, Emre recalled. "There's no scandal here, Tam. No disgrace. If anything, people would love you more. They call celebrities 'iconic' now for doing brave gay things, these days. I know you'd love to be iconic."

He chuckled, and reached for another of Tamyra's water bottles, drinking some and passing it to Tam. "I fucked Lina too, she's always good for it. How many womens' that for you now? Bloody hell, girl, I've got to catch up innit."

A pause, then another drink. "Erm... it was more cut-and-dry for me, I reckon. I was the one who fucked up. He done nothing wrong. I realized how much I missed him. He cut me out of his life. You remember how pissed he was in the jungle, luv? That was all on me, not you. And I hated myself, knowing I'd driven him to that point. He was only ever patient and...and kind to me, and I treated him so badly just because I couldn't figure myself out."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Tamyra couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of her. "Heey, if you want to clean my entire place top to bottom, go right ahead, I'm not going to stop you. And if you ever feel like you need to make sure it all lives up to your standards, you can always just drop by and clean a bit, I'm not going to get offended by it, either." Based on this conversation alone, she wouldn't have been surprised if he suddenly showed up one day out of the blue.

Emre didn't tie his sexuality to his manhood anymore, which was good, but that didn't really related to her in any way and she was about to open her mouth and say just that and then Emre added things more to her own situation and she let out a sigh as she sunk into the bed more. "First of all, I am already very much iconic, thank you very much. It's me we're talking about after all. And seconds-- I know there isn't any scandal. The people here-- most of them are good. Even the idiots somehow. And it's not like you're the only one I've told, I've told others and nobody reacted badly or anything. But still, when I think about telling somebody new, it just-- even with that knowledge, it's terrifying. And I gotta work through that I know, but it doesn't make it any easier." She tilted her head. "Have you told others? Aside from me and Kaz, does anyone else know?"

Wasn't even surprising that he fucked Lina too, Lina was like the two of them, eager to fall into some mindless fun. "It's been four now, so really, get on it, bruv, I'm leaving you behind," she teased as she took another swing of her smoke, tapping oh his tigh playfully. "Honestly? I get why you hit on every girl you meet, they're great fun."

It was much cut and dry with Kaz, Emre said, and Tamyra agreed except the reason for that was partly because she didn't even know what Wren was so mad about. "I mean, after that he was pissed at me too, but-- yeah, whatever you said to him to push you away, it worked. But at least you know. You know what you did, while me-- I think Wren expected me to remember or something, or at least ask, but when she just dismissed me, I was so shocked and hurt, I just snapped back and then walked away. And then she went back to that Beatriz because apparently she is nice enough to hang out with..." she grumbled. "Seriously, she's not even that pretty and probably has rocks for brains, but whatever I guess..."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

"Maybe I will...but don't get used to it. I just...sometimes I just need something to do." Fill up the spaces of time that he'd used to spend with Iyaz. Not even really doing anything just...hanging out in Iyaz's presence. Soaking his little brother in: alive, safe, well, funny, cute. Emre looked at Tamyra. "Iyaz left me, you know that he left through the Heart Tree? Before the fakes showed up, he...he's convinced his fiancé is alive so he went to look for Peter and he disappeared in the Heart Tree, I think. He's gone and it's just. It's hard without him. I know he's still alive, but...I miss him. Living without him, it always changes me."

It was the first time Emre fully articulated that, and why with Tamyra - well why not. She used to complain about people just telling her things, whether she wanted to hear it or not. At least this didn't require her comfort.

"You're not yet an, erm, gay icon though," Emre pointed out lightly. "Got to hit all them iconic points innit." But Emre nodded. "It's terrifying, yeah. Erm...I'm not...I'm not sure. It's more like people are just okay if I am." Madi kind of knew. It felt sometimes like Tomas kind of knew. Wren kind of knew, and even Nick kind of knew. He cuddled more against Tamyra. "Still figuring that part out innit."

He smiled, at Tamyra's rightful boastfulness. "No other bloke's got much appeal to me, if I'm honest," Emre said, perhaps one of the most innocent things he'd said in a long time. Emre didn't notice though. "Nesh is alright but he's too much like Yaz. Plus I shagged his sister back in London."

Tamyra detailed the latest misunderstanding between her and Wren. "You reckon it's worth it to ask her what she wanted you to remember? Or to tell her that you miss her?"

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Tamyra gave a small nod. "I heard, yeah. Kaz told me when it came up, but I just recently found out." She liked Iyaz, he was cool and a good doctor, but it's been a while since she talked to him or went to see him for anything, so it wasn't really a surprise that she didn't realize what was happening until Kaz told her.

"You know, when you showed up with him by your side, I was really jealous. You had your family, your person right there with you. What could possibly be better? And now I think-- as good as it can be, it can flip right on its head and hurt just as bad." She paused for a second, watched his face. "I am sorry you lost him like this, that really sucks. But when he comes back," when and not if, Tamyra paid very close attention not to be an asshole in this moment, "you'll be here, waiting for him."

Not a gay icon yet. Never something she thought she'd want, but it actually didn't sound that bad. She could be okay with that. "People are just okay if you are? What do you mean by that?" They both agreed on one thing, though, they were both trying to figure it all out. Sometimes together, sometimes apart, but it was something similar they were both going through and that gave Tamyra some comfort.

"Do you think it means something? Like, we are not the same kind of bis since I am more into women and you are mostly just focused on one guy?" she couldn't help but ask. Were there different categories on this? Or was it just simply how their tastes differed? She did let out a small scoff, though, "of course you slept with Nesh's sister. Any chance you slept with a woman named Nakeisha? Would have been around my age, but I am sure the age difference wouldn't have been a problem for you."

She didn't say much at Emre's last question, thought about the last time Wren and her talked over and over again. Just how much she missed Wren. What would happen if she didn't ask, if she just left the woman and all of this alone. But even just the thought of it left this strange, unknown, hollow feeling inside of her chest that she didn't like.

"You know, I-- I've been feeling for a while like maybe I'd want more than just this. Just mindless fucks. But it never felt like it could ever really happen. Or I never did anything that could allow it. And I am not sure if this is that with Wren or not, but even if we are just going to be friends and nothing ever happens between us again, I don't want to not have her in my life at all. So yeah, I think I need to talk to her."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Kaz had told Tamyra. The surge of emotion Emre felt could've been anger or surprised relief, so Emre just listened. These mini-eulogies people gave about Iyaz, Emre sopped up like dry bread to water. "You just said it yourself, darling," Emre spoke softly. "Love is a risk of having your heart shattered. Yaz broke my heart so many times, but that don't matter, does it. He can break it a million times more and I'd never stop loving him. He's...everything."

It took Iyaz leaving, for Emre to realize there were no reservations to love. He wasn't sure where to go next, but without Iyaz to protect, the sense of instability was...exciting for Emre. "It's like...no one will think I'm weak for it. Right - it's called male ego, sweetheart. You got a different sort of ego," he teased. But he hadn't considered different types of bisexuality.

"Dunno...some straight people is sluts and others is just okay with one person innit. But I love women, all sorts. Anyone who's interested, I'm there. Shagged a granny one innit. Bloody hell the things her mouth could do...and when she took out her dentures....!" He husked a laugh at himself. "Her name weren't Nakeisha, no. Your timeline is safe from me, darling." Tam did have a point, though. An embarrassing one, if Emre thought about it too deeply. Annoying.

"Kaz innt special or nothing, right," he tried to say, and it sounded thin.

Better to distract himself by Tamyra's revelations. She wanted more than mindless fucks. He rolled to face Tam, and kiss her like he was congratulating her. His hand skated along Tam's body, teasing her breasts, trailing down her stomach. "Be the kind Tamyra, I know she's there. I've had the privilege to see her. Wren deserves kindness, innit. She's confused. You're a brilliant shining icon."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

No reservations on love. No matter what, Emre would still love Iyaz. Tamyra felt like she understood that, just with her parents. No matter what shit she'd find out about them, it would hurt like hell, but she'd get through it. "Iyaz is lucky to have you," she said, and then after a few moments, a bit of shift in the topic,

"Did I ever tell you that I have a sister here too? On the island? Jupiter, if you know her. Our dad is the same and we've been getting to know each other since she got out of the tunnels." She had a soft smile on her face as she talked about Jupiter. Her sister! That last interactions of theirs didn't go as well as Tamyra would have wished it, but she could fix it, hopefully and they it would be back to smooth sailing.

He wouldn't be considered weak if people knew he liked guys. Yeah, their brains really did work completely differently sometimes, even in such similar situations like this one. But really, even with different viewpoints, these chats have helped Tamyra immensely and she was grateful for them, even if she wasn't willing to say it out loud and add yet another layer of vulnerability to the table. She spilled her guts enough for today as it is. So instead she just teased, "some call it ego, I call it confidence that is actually backed up," and gave a wink.

Tamyra couldn't help it, the laugh bubbled out of her hard. "Of course you'd have a story like that, I am not even surprised. Kind of glad it wasn't Nakeisha, though, I'd have to kick your ass or something if it was. Then again, you are a good lay so it would have been good for her too, I am sure."

She tilted her head, raised her eyebrows at him and just gave him a look that said she wasn't buying what he was trying to sell her about Kaz. "How much of that do you actually believe and how much of it is just trying to convince me so I'd drop the topic?"

Emre kissed her then and it wasn't the kind of kiss the two of them usually shared - it was usually nothing more than a lead up to everything else, fast and hard and demanding, while this was casual, more like friends giving each other a hug or something, which was strange for a number of reasons Tamyra didn't even want to get into, but most of all, as nice as the kiss was, Tamyra had absolutely no desire for it to go any farther than that. "You know, sometimes you really do have the ability to find the absolute right words and being right - I am a shining icon." It was a light joke and the truth all at once. "But thanks," she said as she did untangle herself a bit from him and sat up, reached for that bottle of half drank water on the bed and took a couple of sips from it. "For talking through this with me, I really appreciate it."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Is he really so lucky,the whisper in Emre's head flared up in sarcasm, so strong that Emre almost drawled it aloud. But he bit his tongue hard instead, refusing to ruin the moment Tamyra tentatively offered, about Iyaz. Fortunately Tamyra's continuation took Emre by surprise and he propped up to look at her. "Are you joking? A sister - like a long-lost sister? Bloody hell, this bloody island..." Emre marveled at the wild magic, then cheekily asked, "Do you like her?"

Emre snorted, reveling in Tamyra's shameless bragging as he flicked his fingers in the air, making snaps. "Brap! Girl's got receipts of greatness."

But then Tamyra was giving him a hard look, and Emre looked back at her, all indignant frowning. "Oh shut it. I don't got a clue what you're on about. Just allow it, alright? Today we're giving you the third degree. You can grill me in a few weeks time."

Emre had gotten all turned on though, pleasing Tamyra, making her laugh, possibly helping Wren...and chatting about Kaz of course. It all turned out well, but Tamyra shimmied away to innocently drink her water, and Emre lay back and groaned in frustration. "You sure you don't want me to keep massaging you? Happy ending and that, remember?" Emre wiggled his fingers. "You can close your eyes, I can shut the fuck up, and you can pretend I'm Wren doing you in, yeah? I don't mind a little roleplay." Smirking, he rubbed his face. "Hands-only, reckon Wren can't grow a beard."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Tamyra's smile just grew wider. "Yeah, I really do like her. She is nothing like me and I am not sure if just based on personality, anyone would assume we are sisters, but I really like that. She is full of positivity, always has a kind word to everyone and just so open. She can also see ghosts - like, actual ghosts. We encountered one we both knew out in the world once, it was-- it's no joke or anything."

Tamyra just rolled her eyes. "Come on now, I wasn't asking for you to write poetry and spill all your heart, a simple confirmation could have been good. But sure, keep it to yourself, I think I know what the answer would have been anyway."

Emre asked if she was sure she was done, and Tamyra let out a small chuckle. "Yeah, I'm sure, sorry. As tempting as your fingers sound, they don't come any close to what hers feel and I am into roleplaying, but pretending you are somebody else-- not up to that today." She gently nudged him. "But hey, I am sure a bunch of other people would jump on the opportunity, it won't be too hard to find somebody else."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

Competition, The whispering was gleeful, spiteful. Tamyra can't be the best if she's got competition. Of course this 'sister' is nothing like her. Kind? Positive? Don't sound like our Tamzy at all. Usually Emre could tolerate the waswasah; he'd been hearing it in his head, castigating him and others, for years now. But this time, it irritated him. He wanted to be happy for Tam, finding family when she'd lost so much "We can all supposedly see ghosts on Meridium. I still think they're jinn. And if you want to get on Wren's good side, you should agree is jinn too."

Emre only stayed grouchy for a moment, giving into whinging as Tamyra denied him the pleasure of her pleasure. "Other people is too much trouble, and you're right here. But whatevs, I'm not bothered." He was horny-frustrated , but Tamyra's nudge made him relinquish a small smile. "Just pull myself off in the ocean then, I suppose. Sad, Tamzy," Emre said, slowly standing up and shouldering his backpack. "You've left me a sad man, I hope you can live with yourself."

He reattached the shell bracelet on his wrist, letting Tamyra get a good look at it. "Can't wait to see you dripping in Wren-bling one day, my luv."

— ⋆ ✯ ⋆ —

"Jinn, alright, I'll keep them in mind for the next time Wren and I are talking about stuff like that." Because there would be a time for it. She couldn't go into a conversation she was planning to have with Wren tihnking Wren would just turn her away anyway because then she wouldn't even get started and that was not an option.

She gave Emre a soft, but amused smile. "I will take that as nothing more than a compliment. But think about it this way - your talk with me worked so good, I am now focused on the success of the next step." A laugh. "Or yeah, get yourself off in the ocean, that is also an option, go wild - with that, I can live with."

That damn bracelet still stung, not to mention Emre's brag, but Emre turned it into something more hopefully. "You better be right." She reached for a full bottle of water and handed it over to Emre. "Here, take this as a thank you or something, you can never have enough water, hmm? And really, thank you for all of it."

FINISHED.

#emre #emre 024 #interlude 11 #thank you so so so much for this gigi #this was so much fuuuuunnnnn #<3

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