#this subject matter makes me nervous yet it is incredibly vital to talk about

[michaelmyersmalewife]

DYAD | iv. ad hominem | MASTERLIST

words: 3k+

venom symbiote x reader

warning(s): mild medical malpractice

you can also support this fic on wattpad & ao3

CLASSIFIED REPORT (1/?) MEMORANDUM

TO: DRAKE, CARLTON; Life Foundation Head CEO

FROM: SKIRTH, DORA; Life Foundation Board of Biochemistry

SUBJECT: [NAME REDACTED]

1. It is [TIME REDACTED, DATE REDACTED]. As per your request I will be regularly documenting [NAME REDACTED] during their bonding process with SUBJECT #6.

2. It has been exactly 1 HOUR since [NAME REDACTED] came into contact with the symbiote. Subject remains unresponsive to cognitive stimulus. Physical stimulus, however, yields a regular response (does not appreciate being handled). Appears to be in an 'autopilot' state. Vitals are currently normal.

3. It has been 5 hours since first contact. We have managed to relocate [NAME REDACTED] to their new holding cell. They did not seem too happy about it but they have since settled down. They seem to be unaware of their surroundings at the current time of writing this.

4. P.S. - Requesting to send in 3 more armed security. For monitoring purposes.

CLASSIFIED REPORT (7/?) MEMORANDUM

TO: DRAKE, CARLTON; Life Foundation Head CEO

FROM: SKIRTH, DORA; Life Foundation Board of Biochemistry

SUBJECT: [NAME REDACTED]

1. It has been 10 hours since first contact between [NAME REDACTED] and SUBJECT #6. [NAME REDACTED] is having minor convulsions at random intervals. Vitals are experiencing spikes before regulating at the same rate. Internal body temperature seems to be experiencing similar symptoms to a high grade fever. At the current moment I do not recommend forced separation.

2. It is [TIME REDACTED, DATE REDACTED]. It has been 20 hours since first contact. Vitals have stabilized. [NAME REDACTED] seems to be in a catatonic state but brain scans show an abnormal amount of cognitive activity. It is my professional opinion to assume the symbiote is attempting to connect. Forced separation is not advised.

3. It is [TIME REDACTED, DATE REDACTED]. It has been 30 hours since first contact. [NAME REDACTED] is mobile but not fully conscious. They are not capable of holding conversations at the current moment but have been observed to repeat the word "hungry". We have attempted to give [NAME REDACTED] some form of sustenance since contact - bland foods - but have barely touched it or ignored it entirely. During one attempt they assaulted a researcher (who wanted me to inform you of their resignation but we can talk in length about that later). They appear to be very eager to leave the cell. Do not advise any form of intervention. I believe they feel threatened by security. Requesting to have them exit the room and guard its entrance instead.

4. P.S. - Requesting repair for cell #2.

CLASSIFIED REPORT (10/?) MEMORANDUM

TO: DRAKE, CARLTON; Life Foundation Head CEO

FROM: SKIRTH, DORA; Life Foundation Board of Biochemistry

SUBJECT: [NAME REDACTED]

1. It is [TIME REDACTED, DATE REDACTED]. 48 hours have passed since first contact. [NAME REDACTED] seems to be regaining full consciousness. Vitals are stabilizing. Brain activity is still at a high.

2. [NAME REDACTED] is awake. They appear to be talking to something. I believe they have established some form of communication with SUBJECT #6. For the time being, forced separation is no longer viable.

~~

You jumped, heart pounding in your head.

That voice. You couldn't be the only one hearing it, right? There had to be a mic somewhere in the room, there's no other way you could possibly explain it. It definitely wasn't yours. It was too deep, too..rich, for lack of a better term. Desperately, but trying not to panic, you looked around the room like a lost child, searching for the source of the voice.

I'm right here

"Jesus-" you flinched. There it was again. And again, it was starting to sound less like something over an intercom and more like something ringing in your ears. "Alright, where are you, huh? You wanna tell me what's going on?"

Look

By some reason you couldn't explain, you felt drawn to the glass door behind you. Like a thought was placed directly into your mind. You didn't question it then. Instead you obediently shuffled to the door, peering into the glass at your own reflection. Only it wasn't your reflection that was staring back at you. You jumped backward, a short yell escaping you.

The creature reflected in the glass looked far from human, like a poor interpretation of what a human looked like. It got the basics down - a face, complete with eyes and a mouth. But in its grin were needle-sharp teeth that could rip a person to shreds, and just behind its cage-like teeth was a long, drooling tongue. Its eyes were unlike anything you had ever seen. Massive, glazed over and watery, with an almost milky consistency stared back at you intently. Eagerly. You couldn't tell what exactly it was staring at - as the thing had no visible irises - but you felt its gaze on you. Your body was wracked with chills, a low nervous laughter creeping from your lips.

"Uh-um, I know you like keeping me in the dark but this - this is really not funny," Starting to creep me out, you muttered.

I can hear you

"Please stop doing that."

You stood in the center of the room, facing the only camera you could see situated in one corner of the cell's ceiling. You cupped your hands around your mouth.

"Hey! I know you can probably hear me! I have no fucking clue what you did to me back there but I'm really not liking this situation right now!"

You're being very unreasonable

"Oh I'm unreasonable?!"

...Yes

You let out a long exhale. "Can you -" your hands were shaking. You balled them into fists at your side. "Whatever you are, can you not right now?"

Before you could blink you heard a strange sound coming from behind you, like something slithering through water that wasn't there. In a matter of seconds a spiral of thick, black tendrils emerged from what you assumed was your back. They coalesced - almost elegantly - into a serpentine mass, jaws and teeth and eyes and a face manifesting out of nowhere, forming a figure that was constantly shifting in place like an iridescent oil spill. It was unearthly. The process only took place in the span of a few seconds but watching it appear before you seemed to slow time down.

The creature stared at you, looking you up and down like you were a meal. It's already wide smile widened even more, eyes narrowing into long, white slits. A low, quiet purring noise emanated from the creature, although you couldn't imagine it contained any sort of internal viscera capable of producing it. The creature brought itself closer to you, leaving only about a foot or less of personal space.

"Whatever this is..is stuck with you." its forehead poked the bridge of your nose. You flinched. "For the time being."

You didn't like the sound of that, so you pushed it to the back of your mind for later. "And....what are you, exactly?"

There was a rumble in its throat, tongue running along the edge of its teeth. "I am Venom," it said as it undulated around you, almost examining you.

"Uh, hey? I guess? I'm-" Venom interrupted you mid-sentence, clearly saying your name with a growl. The sound of it on its tongue sent goosebumps down your arms.

"How the fuck do you know that?"

Venom's face reappeared on the opposite side of your head. You had long since tried keeping eye contact with it, not like you would even want to in the first place.

"I am in your head, after all."

"Y-You're..what?"

"Please keep up."

"No no no no no I heard you the first time I'm just uh," you shook your hands, your nervousness showing a little too much for your tastes. "Processing it."

Sheepishly, you stretched your arm out in front of you, and Venom remained as still as it possibly could. You poked the shifting mass' side with a single finger, as though it would swallow you up at any moment. Upon contact Venom recoiled, eyes thinning out into what almost looked like a scowl, and retreated back into your body. Your whole form shook from the movement. Venom was real, too real. You slowly stumbled backward onto the cot, trying to control your breathing.

I did mean it literally, you know

"R-Right, I just uh, just trying to make sure." your headache was pounding again. And you were hungry.

We need to feed

"Yeah, no sh - wait. We?" You straightened up in your seat. "Wait wait wait wait wait. When did this turn into a 'we' situation?"

The moment we bonded

Venom said it so straightforwardly that you had to laugh, flopping your tired body back on the mattress. "That didn't feel like 'bonding' so much as it did a physical assault."

Venom was quiet, and for a moment you thought you could hear it thinking.

I need you. And you need me

You rolled over onto your side, tucking one arm beneath your head. Its words left an uncomfortable, desperate ringing in the back of your skull. You sighed, closing your eyes. "Sure."

~~

CLASSIFIED REPORT (12/?) MEMORANDUM

TO: DRAKE, CARLTON; Life Foundation Head CEO

FROM: SKIRTH, DORA; Life Foundation Board of Biochemistry

SUBJECT: [NAME REDACTED]

1. It is [TIME REDACTED, DATE REDACTED]. I've just finished reviewing the surveillance tapes from last night. The connection humans are able to establish with symbiotes is incredible. We still have much to learn from these two, and in my professional opinion I believe we should move forward with the physical and mental examinations.

2. I made it a point to visit [NAME REDACTED]. There was no sign of the symbiote as of yet but it does seem that they have established a solid form of communication. I have not asked them to relay what it is saying to them at the current moment. It feels too invasive given the current circumstances, so that should come later.

3. P.S. - Requesting to deliver state-issued meal packets to [NAME REDACTED]'s cell.

~~

There is never a dull moment at the Life Foundation laboratories.

You hadn't realized how early you were awakened by your passenger until a man in a white lab coat shoved a tray of lukewarm food in plastic packages through a slit in your cell door. The dully colored mush disguised as food did little to sooth your hunger. In fact, it only worsened it. Not even a minute had passed before your stomach painfully expelled it from your body.

Venom wasn't all too pleased either.

Then came the testing. Wherever you were escorted to you were followed by dozens of eyes all focused on you. In your mind only a day had passed between your first meeting with Venom and now, but in reality you were missing more time than you were comfortable dealing with. And in that time, word had inevitably gotten around. As if the four guards enclosed around you as you walked didn't draw enough attention - along with the tight cuffs shackled around your wrists and ankles - you might as well have worn a neon sign that read DANGER.

But you didn't feel dangerous. Venom on the other hand, Venom was something you couldn't wrap your mind around.

I don't like this

"Yeah, me neither pal." You muttered under your breath. Almost immediately the tall, bald man walking ahead of you sharply turned his head, hissing a shh. You scowled.

I could break these as easily as snapping his ribs

You rolled your eyes. "Then why don't you."

Suddenly, you heard the familiar tapping of heels as Dr. Skirth trodded down the hallway in a slow jog, clutching a thin tablet in her arms. She looked tired.

"Sorry! Running a little late today." she said with a weak laugh.

You furrowed your brow.

Aww, are you worried about her?

You said nothing, an annoyed grumble sounding in your throat. Skirth turned her head. "Excuse me?" she said softly.

"N-Nothing, it's-"

"Is it..." she mouthed 'the symbiote' even though you were sure everyone in the building knew what she was talking about.

Are you ignoring me now?

You nodded. A wave of relief washed over her face as she dug a lanyard out of her coat pocket, holding the card attached to it up to a scanner.

You can't keep this up for long

"Perfect! We've modified our tests to include your sample so no more simple exercises." The door slid open. "For now, at least."

Inside the room was roughly the same setup as your previous "tests". Only this time there were devices you didn't recognized placed neatly on a table. And leaning on one of the desks was Carlton Drake himself. Your body tensed.

Who the hell is this guy?

Drake stood, arms outstretched in a way too amicable for his demeanor. "I've been waiting to see you!"

Skirth looked at you briefly, a distressed expression flashing across her face. "A-Ah, yes I forgot to inform you. Mr. Drake will be overseeing your testing from now on." She turned away from you to stare at him. "He's very invested in your progress." He smiled.

The exchange hadn't registered with you until you heard Venom's baritone voice clear the silence. For you, at least.

Weird

That managed to crack the slightest of smiles on your face. Yeah, weird, you thought.

"Of course! Why wouldn't I be? This is a massive breakthrough for us and I'd love to see it through the end." He moved to a chair that sat in front of a large monitor. "But please, continue. I'm not here." he said with almost a joking lilt in his voice. You weren't sure if the annoyance you felt came from you or Venom, but you weren't entirely opposed to either. Skirth cleared her throat.

"Shall we get started?" she asked. You shrugged.

"Ready when you are."

I'm not

Your jaw tightened.

"Alright, now I don't want you to overexert yourself so for the time being I think we'll just stick to something simple. Sound g-"

Drake's voice cut through the room. "Dr. Skirth? Don't mind my input but I believe our mission statement says otherwise, correct? Pushing limits?"

She could only stand there in stunned silence. "Wh..I was-"

"And I believe that is exactly how we should be carrying out these tests."

Dr. Skirth gulped, looking over at you with a sorry expression.

You're just gonna take this?

"Well, I can't really do anything right now, can I?" you whispered, trying desperately not to draw any more attention to yourself than you should.

Skirth pushed her glasses farther up her nose with her knuckle. "Alright, um..Okay we'll just proceed with a simple neural test. That shouldn't be too hard on you."

Soon enough she sat you down, beginning to place small nodes with long wires along the sides of your head and your forehead. Calmly walking over to one of the monitors that Drake wasn't hovering over, you heard the clicking of a keyboard and the soft sound of whatever program she was using start up. Suddenly there was a ringing in your ears. Not loud enough to bother you, but enough to make your eye involuntarily twitch. Venom rumbled.

"Tell me if it gets too much, okay?"

You nodded. Drake watched intently, getting up from his seat and crossing his arms as he walked closer to Skirth. She held one of the devices on the table in her hand, this one small and rectangular, a finger gingerly hovering above a dial that sat among various other smaller buttons. She rotated it just slightly enough that you barely noticed it even moved. And with it, the ringing in your ears got louder.

What are they doing? Venom asked, a confused and almost angry tone in its voice.

Your hands clenched into fists. Skirth's eyes flickered from yours to Drake's. With a nod he urged her forward. Reluctantly, she turned the dial just slightly more.

The ringing was already near deafening, and you could feel Venom's anxiety growing by the second. It unnerved you - how clearly you could find the distinction between your emotions and Venom's in that moment. You rolled your neck, a weak attempt to relieve the pain from the shrill noise.

"I..I-I think we should-" before she could finish her thought, Drake abruptly snatched the remote from her shaking hands. There was a small moment of alarm on her face before she reigned her emotions in.

"Doctor, if I'm not mistaken the purpose of these examinations is to find this organism's breaking point and I don't think we'll get anywhere being so soft."

In one second, you felt terrified. In the other, you felt searing pain.

Your body twisted in its seat - almost keeling over - as your nails dug into its arms, scratching the plastic. Every muscle in your body was tense, as though a jolt of electricity was being sent through your nerves. Your mouth was wrought open by the scream that forced itself out. In the back of your mind, Venom roared a terrible, agonizing roar. You couldn't hear much of anything for that second - or however long it was - only vaguely recognizing what sounded like a scuffle happening behind you.

Then there was silence.

You were shaking, violent shudders moving your body as you heaved in air like you just learned to breathe. You felt numb, and you could swear your eardrums were obliterated by the ringing they subjected you to. Venom was silent. You waded between unconsciousness and consciousness, eyes barely staying open only to see the subdued bickering between Skirth and Drake.

"I thought you wanted to make progress, this is our first successful bond and you almost -"

"Are you questioning my methods? Dora?"

".....You could've killed them."

Against your own will, your exhaustion won.

~~

You woke up curled in a fetal position in your cell.

Startled, you bunched yourself up against the wall, slowly trying to steady your breathing. You were beyond sore, more so than the time you woke up after your bonding. You rubbed your face, groaning in discomfort.

"Are you alright?"

.......Me?

"Yeah, you. You didn't," you cleared your scratchy throat. "You didn't sound so good back there."

I am fine

"That's..good."

You leaned your head against the wall behind you, screwing your eyes shut. This place quickly was climbing your list of shit situations, and you weren't too pleased with it. You weren't pleased with yourself, if you had to be honest. It was getting to the point where you might not have minded being back with -

Who is he?

"Christ, Venom, what'd I say about warnings?!"

That doesn't answer my question.

You pinched the bridge of your nose. "He's not any of your business."

Your business is my business. That's sort of how this works

"Yeah, well, it'll be a while before you unlock that little story, buddy."

For a while you sat there, staring at nothing in particular. Trying to ignore the pounding in your temples and the ache in your stomach. Something nagged at the back of your mind, however. Something you had thought briefly about before but not long enough to actually acknowledge it. You couldn't ignore it any longer.

"Hey, Venom." They didn't respond, but you felt their anticipation waiting to hear what you had to say.

"I.." Thinking your statement over in your head, it sounded so juvenile. "I wanna get us out of here."

Us? I was under the assumption you didn't like the concept of 'us'

You scoffed. "There isn't. Not really keen on staying your ride for the rest of my life. No hard feelings."

...I see. If that is what you wish

There was something forming in the pit of your stomach. Pity? Guilt? No, you never felt guilty. Not if you had anything to say about it.

There was a moment of silence in both of your minds before you felt Venom bubble up once again.

You are scared

Your face felt warm. "W-Well, yeah but - I?" you sighed. You hoped Venom wouldn't ask for the details and just trust you at face value. "I've been in this situation before. I've gotten out of this situation before. If you help me, I think I can do it again."

Venom paused. Silently mulling over your offer. He rumbled.

Wow. You aren't lying

"Of course I'm not why would - wait wh - okay never mind. Just..do you trust me?"

.....Yes. I will help you

You let out a breath. "Thank you, seriously, as soon as we get out of here you can find your new host and I can..figure something out."

Wait. There is something I have to do first

Of course. It's not like you had much to lose anyway. "Oh..kay?"

The other Klyntar. My friends. If I escape, we all do. That is my deal

"Kl - Klin-tar?"

My species. Do we have a deal?

"Well, yeah. Yeah, it's a deal."

A deep, gravely laugh reverberated throughout your body.

This looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship

You wheezed a soft chuckle, a small, lopsided smile cracking along your face. "Hey, don't get too ahead of yourself."

#venom x reader #venom #venom fanfic #venom symbiote #marvel fanfic #venom fanfiction #dyadfic #takenbytheweeds #takenbytheweeds fics

[sembell]

Moving Forward - Chapter 51

Hey you guys, it’s been a loooong time, I know, but MF is finally back! I missed writing terribly, and you guys were the best motivation to continue despite everything! I hope you find your way right back in and that it continues to bring you joy! Love you all, and especially @justholdinghandsok for forever being my wonderful beta no matter what I come up with :P!

(by the way... NSFW alert! :D) - AO3

“The practice of peace and reconciliation is one of the most vital and artistic of human actions.” - Nhat Hanh

Gillian took her phone from her oldest son, who immediately pulled his hand away, turned around and ushered his little brother out of the room, leaving her behind.

And now there she was, standing in her kitchen all by herself, heart pounding rapidly in her chest, cheeks warm and flushed.

It’s okay, she whispered to herself, trying to find a calm, centered place in her mind. It’s David. Your David. You’re fine.

Looking down at the screen, she deactivated the speakerphone and with one last deep inhale, brought the phone up to her ear.

“Hello, David,” she finally said and closed her eyes; apprehensively, but also impatiently awaiting his answer.

“Hey, Gilly,” was his quiet reply, his voice so soft and affectionate, and Gillian instantly felt relieved.

She wasn’t sure what exactly she’d been expecting, but his gentleness took her completely by surprise. He often used her nickname, “Gilly”, when she was feeling uncomfortable or when she was irritated by someone or something, and he’d lean down and whisper it softly into her ear. It was meant to be reassuring, and it never failed to be just that. Not even now.

Heat rose to her cheeks once again and her stomach fluttered furiously. A bashful laugh escaped her lips, and it didn’t take a couple of seconds before he started to chuckle as well. He was just as nervous as she was.

“I’m glad these two are so damn clever,” he conceded after a few moments, and she could hear the rustling of sheets in the background.

“And that they’re always able to read my mind,” she nodded absently, half her mouth crooked into a lopsided grin.

“They know you, hm,” David said, and it was more like a statement than a question.

“Yeah.”

“Hmm. I guess we’re either horrible actors or we have incredibly smart and sensitive kids.”

“Both, probably.”

David chuckled approvingly. “Probably, yeah.”

The seconds went by, and both of them stayed silent. It felt like she was finally able to breathe freely again, just because of the few words they’d exchanged. And she felt the built up stress and pressure from the entire last week slowly leaving her body.

“I miss you,” Gillian suddenly blurted out, soft and desperate, and immediately closed her eyes at her own stupidity. Damn, she thought. Why did she have to make herself even more vulnerable? And why was she so scared that he would reject her? Hurt her?

He chuckled softly. “I was just… thinking the same about you,” he stated tenderly, and then went quiet for a moment before continuing. “This bed feels... weird without you.”

A small smile formed on Gillian’s lips and she relaxed a bit. “Does it?” she asked and walked back towards the couch, sitting down on her previous spot.

“Yeah… there are… uh, crumbs in it. Eww.” She could hear him run his hand over the bed sheet. ”We might’ve had oatmeal cookies this morning.”

Gillian snorted amusedly and leaned back. “So it feels weird because I’m not there to play the no-food-in-bed-police?” she asked in feigned indignation.

“No, because it’s oatmeal cookie crumbs and not dark-chocolate-chip. And there’s also no good coffee to wake up to,” he pouted, and they both fell into soft laughter.

“I see. I must be greatly missed.”

Truth was, he would probably make a fool out of himself if he’d start to declare just how much she was missed. Especially at night.

More used to have her there than to have to sleep alone these days, he was waking up in the middle of the night because his hand was constantly, subconsciously searching for her warm, soft, feminine body. Most of the time, he’d end up spooning her; arm around her slim waist, hand under her shirt, fingers spread wide over her stomach. Chest flush against her back and face deeply buried into the soft silk of her hair - that was how he slept the best. But when she wasn’t there, his hand would reach into the void and then fall down onto the cold sheets beside him, and he’d wake up in confusion before remembering that they were an ocean apart again. It was his least favorite way to wake up.

He hummed affirmatively and looked at the empty spot beside him. “I miss you a lot.”

There was silence again. Oh how much he wished she was here, so he could wrap her in his arms. Wished there were no issues, no problems to figure out and talk through. No awkwardness.

“Um-” she started, pulling him out of his reverie. “About me flying back to Vancouver... am I right in assuming that you want to talk before we go back to work?”

“Uh,” David cleared his throat, taken aback by the abrupt change of subject. Couldn’t they talk about missing each other a little more? “If it’s possible, yeah.”

“Okay,” she stated in a flat tone, all the excitement and warmth from moments before suddenly gone from her voice.

Back to business, he thought. The sudden shift stung in his chest, but he was aware that she was just trying to protect herself from getting carried away. From letting emotions getting the better of her. This was Gillian after all.

“I’ll take the plane on Saturday then. Is that alright?”

“Sounds good, yeah.” He tried to keep his voice cool. “You want me to pick you up?”

“No need. I’ll just... meet you at the house.”

“Alright,” David sighed. He couldn’t believe that the sheer prospect of having a serious talk could still bring so much awkwardness to them. Especially after all the hurdles they’d encountered and overcome in all those years.

“Good. So, is there something I need to know? Everything okay?”

“Um, you mean with Eaden?”

“For example, yeah,” she said almost incredulously. Not that he left her completely in the unknown whenever she was away from the little one, and she didn’t expect hourly updates, but not being able to just check on her and see her whenever she felt like it was still so incredibly hard.

“No worries, everything is fine,” he said warmly.

“Okay. Then why are you still in bed?”

“Uh yeah well,” he stalled and cleared his throat. “I didn’t sleep well last night, so I’m just catching up on some while Eaden is out with West and some of her friends for a couple of hours,” David answered, deliberately not getting into detail on why he was still so tired.

The baby had been fussy all night; whimpering, crying and asking for Mama in her sleep. Based on that and her fire red cheeks, David was betting on a new set of teeth coming through. But since Eaden had woken up fairly happy and rested, as if nothing had happened, there was no need to alarm the mother who was thousand of miles away from her baby.

“Eaden is out with West and a couple of her friends? That sounds like she’s… twelve or something,” Gillian said, amusement swinging in her voice. He couldn’t see it, but he bet she had the cutest smirk on her lips right now.

“Yeah,” David agreed with a chuckle. “She’s being introduced to the lifestyle of today's sixteen years olds. They went to Point Dume’s beach and I already got a video of like... six teens dancing to some music and our little girl sitting in the middle of everything… under an umbrella, sunscreen painted on her face indian style, sippy cup in one and a pirates flag in the other hand. So I’m apologizing in advance for any damage done on our child’s innocent little mind.”

Gillian laughed out loud, a full belly laugh he hadn’t heard in way too many days, and it sounded like music to his ears.

“I have no doubt that she is having the time of her life right now. She’s becoming a little Californian Girl, huh? She looked quite tanned in the video you sent us.”

“Yeah, she got a little sun-kissed in the last three days. West says her hair is starting to look like she’d gotten it done by a professional with all the highlights in it.”

Gillian sighed. “I miss her so much, David. Just… give her a big kiss from me once she’s back home, will you?”

“Certainly. She’ll be excited to hear you’ll be back in a couple of days.”

Gillian smiled. “I can’t wait either.”

Three days later, Gillian was sitting on the plane back to Vancouver, having said her goodbyes to Oscar and Felix hours ago as she’d dropped them off at their father’s house. The colorful sheet of paper they’d crafted for her the night before was neatly sitting on top of her clothes in her carry-on bag. 32 days were to cross out until she’d see her boys again.

Gillian felt an almost childish frustration that she couldn’t have it all. Her kids, her partner and her work, all at the same place and at the same time. Just this once.

At the beginning, the prospect of filming this new season had been overwhelmingly exciting. The fact that it would be work, hard work, had somehow made it so far into the back of her mind that the intensity of the first days had taken her completely by surprise. As did the problems that had kept piling up faster than she thought was even possible.

Despite the careful and thoughtful preparation beforehand, their lives were way too complicated for everything to go smoothly.

To say that it was all becoming too much - juggling a life in Europe and another one in the US - and actually declaring defeat, was very tempting at the moment.

She already couldn’t even remember what the first episode was all about, and still hadn’t read past page two of the new script. Yet she owed it to Chris and the loyal fanbase to focus on this, and not much else, knowing how much people were looking forward to these six new episodes. And contradictory of what some people were thinking, it was important to her too.

Almost eleven hours after she boarded the completely packed British Airways flight to Vancouver, Gillian finally walked through the sliding doors after spending an hour getting through security, including an unnecessary argument with one very annoyed border officer about the lack of empty pages in her passport.

She was tired, but the better part of the exhaustion she felt was coming from what she knew was lying ahead of her.

A long, lonely way home and an uncomfortable talk which would stir up one heck of a lot of suppressed emotions and fears. Nothing she was really looking forward to. Never had.

Even from far away she was able to spot the long line of people queuing for a vacant cab, and she let her chin fall onto her chest with a heavy sigh on her way towards the end of the line. It would take her at least another fifteen minutes to even get into a car.

A family of six was waiting right before her. The youngest child, a boy she estimated to be around three years old, was pushing his stroller around, and Gillian gave him twenty seconds to ram that thing into her shins if his parents wouldn’t stop pestering their teenage daughter, who was typing on her phone, almost completely ignoring their pleas to take one of her younger siblings by the hand, who the mother held by his wrist, and who were desperately trying to escape. It was a mess Gillian was all too familiar with, and she chuckled inwardly at the beauty of it.

And then, as if someone had counted down the seconds, she felt a tire rolling over her right foot and the right edge of the stroller hit her knee. Hard.

The boy was pulled away from the handles by in an instant with a warning “Braydon!” by the father, and the teenager dutifully grabbed the little ones’ hands while the mother rolled the stroller back hastily, muttered her apologies and looked at Gillian in a mixture of embarrassment, annoyance and expectation. Expecting the single woman with the little carry-on bag to make some kind of a snarky remark, or at least roll her eyes at them, and Gillian could see the surprise on the woman’s face when she was given a soft smile.

“It’s alright, don’t worry,” she appeased with a shake of her head. The father was looking at her with a doubtful expression, but the mother was smiling that same relieved and thankful tired smile she was wearing herself when they were out in the wild as a family, and no one was behaving themselves.

There was that fleeting moment of sadness again, and the feeling that half her life was indeed missing made her throat tighten for a second before suddenly, she felt a hand coming to its rest on the small of her back, making her startle.

She turned abruptly, and looked into the familiar faces of her own little family smiling down at her.

“You said you didn’t want me to pick you up, but I wasn’t expecting you to completely ignore us,” David quipped with a sly grin on his lips, his hand not leaving her back even as Eaden plunged forward into her arms.

“Wha-, hey!” Gillian let out in surprise and caught the baby halfway before bringing her close to her chest. “Hey, honey. Wow, hi.”

“Hihi Mama,” Eaden babbled and squealed as Gillian peppered her little face in sweet kisses.

“Hi, baby! That is… one heck of a surprise! Wha-, where are you coming from?” she asked and looked around.

“Oh, we were standing right over there,” he extended his arm to his left and pointed at a column.

“Oh.” She must’ve walked right past them. “I guess I was too distracted by that horrendously long line here,” Gillian chuckled bashfully, and let her eyes wander over him while pressing little kisses on Eaden’s temple. He wore a decent 7-day scruff, and was dressed as if he was coming straight from a photoshoot; blue linen shirt, skinny jeans and a pair of dark brown shoes Gillian was sure she hadn’t seen before.

She was completely taken aback by his whole appearance, by how shockingly hot he looked, and was just staring at him dumbstruck for a couple of moments, as if she hadn’t seen him in weeks.

“Yeah well,” David nodded and with a quick glance to both sides, gently lead her out of line by her elbow. “If you want, there’s a car with your name on waiting outside to bring you home.”

He was grinning now, that soft boyish grin that made her knees buckle every single time she saw it on his lips, knowing that this particular smile was only reserved for her.

“Uh yeah, I’d really like that,” she stuttered and swallowed, adjusting Eaden’s weight to one side of her hip before running a hand through her own, unruly hair. Could she smell herself or was she just imagining it? She couldn’t believe that she was feeling so self-conscious all of a sudden.

Sensing her discomfort, he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on the shell of her ear, briefly stroking his daughter's head, whose face was now buried into Gillian’s neck.

Gillian’s cheeks flushed in an instant, and she noticed the other mother smiling at her from the corner of her eye.

“You look gorgeous. Come on, let’s go home,” David said and took her hand on their way to the parking garage.

Their way home was mostly silent. When they’d reached the car, Eadens little hand had already found its way into Gillian’s blouse and had started to tuck at her bra impatiently. While there had been the small hope that one week would be enough at her age to wean herself for good, Gillian felt nothing but relieved that she’d pumped at home when Eaden looked up at her with these big, trusting blue eyes and played with the loose strands of her hair while nursing in the backseat of the car. She was still a little baby needing her mother.

When they were finished, Gillian took a seat beside Eaden, gently caressing her daughter's little face while the baby fought hard to stay awake, not yet ready to take her eyes off her mother.  

The prospect of having to have that talk was hanging over them like a dark cloud, making it hard to concentrate even on the small talk they were trying to hold up.

How’s Oscar doing? Did Eaden eat well? Did she say a new word? When will West and Miller come to Vancouver? Have you read the new script yet? It’s supposed to be funny...

By the time they reached the house, Eaden was asleep, and the sun was starting to set.

Gillian took her time to tuck the baby into the crib - changed and put a fresh pair of pyjamas on her, rocked her, indulging her child’s weight in her arms and the sweet baby scent,  and humming a couple of lullabies before finally laying her down.

Vancouver was different from what she was used from it. No rain in weeks, hot days and mild nights. She wasn’t surprised to find David outside by the illuminated pool, clad in black boxer shorts and the shirt he was wearing earlier, feet dangling in the water. His back was to her, but as Gillian came closer, she could see the smoke of a cigarette rising above him. A bottle of beer was standing beside him at the poolside. It was silent except for the waves of the ocean crashing softly against the shore nearby.

“Need something to loosen up a little?” he asked and held out the cigarette, not looking at her as she put the baby monitor on the ground and pulled her dark blue skirt a little higher before sitting down beside him. He turned his head when she didn’t reach for the smoke.

She was staring at him with an unreadable expression.

“Why would I need something to loosen up?”

“Aren’t you as… tense as I am?”

“Why are you tense?”

He scoffed incredulously and took a last drag before stubbing it out behind him. A sweet scent immediately filled her nose, and she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply as she let her feet slip into the water. It was cool and felt incredible on her swollen feet.

“What did you mean by ‘you’re scaring me, David’? What exactly does that mean?” he asked, referring to a text message she’d sent him a couple of days ago, and took a swig out of his beer bottle. She shook her head when he offered it to her, but immediately regretted it. The small talk had come to an end faster than she’d expected.

Gillian shrugged her shoulders and stared down at her feet, absently playing with the thin strap of her white tank-top. “I don’t know.”

“Of course you do.”

“Why are you pretending that you don’t know exactly what it means?”

“I don’t. I just want to know… what did I do to make you question my feelings for you?”

“You didn’t do anything to make me doubt your feelings. If there’s one thing you’ve always made sure of, it’s that I know you love me.”

“Then what is it? The logistics? Bad sex?”

She rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue. “Don’t be crude.”

“We don’t have bad sex?”

She shot him a glance and pursed her lips. “Maybe I just wondered if you still want this relationship. If it’s still something that makes you happy.”

“Jesus,” David huffed and brought the bottle back to his lips. “Seriously, Gillian. Sometimes I have trouble figuring out if this is just you being overly dramatic or insecure. I mean, it doesn’t matter in the end, but damn... something has to change. You can’t keep running away from me when things get complicated.”

“I know.”

“Do you? I’m not so sure about that, to be honest.”

“It’s not as easy as you think, you know,” she raised her voice in defense, eyebrows now furrowed tightly.

“I know it isn’t. But Gillian, correct me if I’m wrong, but I think I gave you a lot of opportunities to calm down and talk to me even after you accused me of wanting to make you feel even worse than you already did. And sometime between that and the point you left for London and wouldn’t call for days, I expected you to… I can’t say it any differently, I’m sorry… but I expected you to get back to your senses, to be honest. Because that was one fucked up stunt you pulled there.”

“Yeah, I realize that,” she said remorsefully. “And I’m so scared to fuck this up and lose you,” she said quietly, her voice a mixture of desperation and resignation. “Again.”

He licked over his lips and swallowed before looking at her leg and putting his hand on her knee. He gave it an affectionate squeeze. “Gill-”

“This is what happens all the time, right? Me fucking things up. It’s that… damned self-destructiveness of mine. Making everyone’s lives more complicated and putting a strain on my relationships because… yeah, why? I don’t even know myself! Because of my ego? My anxiety? Because of not having enough faith in things?”

David shook his head slowly and raised his left leg out of the water to put it behind her. He was facing her now, and she also shifted so they could look at one another. His hand came to a rest on her upper thigh. “I can’t tell you what it is, Gillian. But you need to figure it out, or find someone to help you figure it out. Of course I’m hurt and confused. But it’s-” he took a deep breath, “It’s hard to see that the person you love tends to fight alone.”

“I know,” she murmured. Tears were beginning to form in her eyes and she let out a shaky breath.

“And it’s you who suffers the most in the end.”

Gillian nodded thoughtfully, averting her gaze, and he watched her silently for a moment before he spoke again. “I learned that I don’t need a lot to be happy, but you-” he reached up and caressed her cheek with the back of his hand, never breaking eye-contact, literally forcing her to keep her eyes on him. “You are the most essential part to my happiness. I don’t want to imagine my world without the kids, but you are my foundation; my base. You’ve been for over twenty years. I know it’s hard; but we knew it would be that way when you got pregnant. And we agreed to be there for each other. That’s what we wanted. And I am here.”

“Yes, you’re here,” she leaned into his touch, and a single tear escaped her eye. He was the sweetest man, the most reliable partner, and it angered her that she was this emotional, unstable mess. She had no reason to cry but out of gratitude, yet she cried out of fear. Fear that she wouldn’t be able to be the woman she needed to be to make this relationship work. To make a marriage work.

As if he was able to read her thoughts, he took her hands in his and brought them to his lips, peppering them with soft kisses before saying, “Separation hasn’t even crossed my mind, okay?”

“Okay,” she whispered, sucked her bottom lip between her teeth and smiled.

“We will figure it out together, but you need to let people help you, babe.” His arms came around her shoulder and waist, pulling her into a tight hug. Burying her nose into his soft shirt, she inhaled the masculine, rich scent of his as if it had been years she’d smelled it last.

“We’ve got this,” he kissed the top of her head and inhaled deeply. “Even with the bad sex and all,” he joked, and her whole body was shaking as she let out a muffled laugh against his shirt.

Her fingers found their way under his shirt, and ever so lightly, she started to run her fingers over the smooth skin of his back. He jolted under her touch, and she giggled quietly at his ticklishness while moving her flat hands up higher, pressing him closer against her. He was warm and soft, and she had craved touching him so badly in the last couple of days when she was laying in bed, alone.

His hands moved from her back to her arms and up to her face, cradling her cheek in his palms and gently lifting her head from his chest. He was wearing that soft, dreamy smile of his - the one that was capable of melting thousands of hearts.

It faded only for the briefest of seconds before he was there, kissing her, slowly and tentatively.

Her belly tingled fiercely, and she let out a soft whimper when she felt his tongue boldly seeking entrance and grazing over hers. His fingertips started to do these wonderful things on the sensitive skin of her throat and down to her neck - circling and tugging, again and again as their kiss intensified rapidly. Hungry lips clinging to one another, only letting go to change the angle, to explore again what had been explored so many times before, but would never get old.

It had always been a thin line between fighting, reconciliation and sex for them. They were good in fighting fiercely, and even better at sex. The part in between had always been a small one, but they’d become better at it over time while the fighting had gotten more civilised, and the sex mind blowing. It had taken Gillian a long time to understand this logic and that it was a part of growing up and finally being in a healthy relationship rather than a toxic one.

His hands had travelled down to her hips and under her top when she realized that her own were busy unbuttoning his shirt, as if they had a mind of their own. It fell from his shoulders just seconds later, and her lips were drawn to the sun-kissed skin of his chest like magnet to metal. He tasted rich and salty, and she could feel goosebumps rising underneath her mouth as she kissed and nipped her way up to his neck. The vibration of his low growl tickled her lips, and she smiled against his skin as he bunched up the hem of her top underneath her arms, gently urging her to raise them over her head.

Her hips jerked forward when his lips closed around her engorged nipple. Jolts of pleasure were running straight from her tit down to her already throbbing clit. How on earth his kisses alone were capable of doing that to her, she still didn’t know.

He held firmly onto her waist, keeping her still while she was starting to squirm under his touch. All her senses were on high alert, and the sounds his mouth made as he sucked, licked and nibbled on her were so unbelievably arousing, she wanted nothing more than for him to move down, where she was waiting for him, all slick and swollen.

He suddenly hummed, as if she’d said something, and pulled her over and onto his lap in one swift motion. Her skirt wasn’t tight or uncomfortable for either of them, but he seemed to want to get rid of it nonetheless, and helped her into a standing position.

As she stood up, he put his arms around her legs, stroking up and down their length while smiling up at her. His eyes were dark with lust, lips moist and pink and expression smug as fuck. She couldn’t possibly love him more.

She shimmied out of her airy skirt and kicked it aside, leaving on a tiny black string that caught his attention immediately.

He licked his lips and swallowed. Oh this woman with her milky white, velvet thighs. He could live the rest of his life with his head in between their softness while gently, or not so gently, squeezing their outer sides with his hands. His hands always needed to be occupied.

As did hers, apparently.  

She ran her fingers slowly between the valley of her firm tits down to her navel, circling it languidly before wandering down further, tracing the hem of her panties with her fingertips, knowing exactly what touching herself did to him.

He clenched his jaw when her hand disappeared beneath the soft fabric and his breath quickened, nostrils flaring as he inhaled the scent of her need. He was fully concentrated on her, and the thin material didn’t leave much to the imagination so that he could see exactly what she was doing with her tiny hand on her perfect little pussy.

She gasped as her fingers came in contact with her clit, and the other hand shot out to steady herself on his shoulder. He grinned and turned his head to the side to kiss her wrist, eyes never leaving her flushed face. He couldn’t begin to explain how gorgeous she looked with her lips slightly apart, chest rising and falling rapidly as she increased the speed of her hand, knees starting to wobble.

“Oh god,” she gasped, digging her nails into his flesh. “I can’t-”

“Yeah,” he said, knowing that she wasn’t able to stand up much longer, and leaned forward, pressing a kiss onto her navel while she slowly removed her hand from between her legs.

“You smell delicious,” he whispered and took her hand by the wrist, looking up at her as he slowly closed his lips around two slick fingers. “Hmm,” he hummed and released them with a loud plop. “You taste like heaven. So sweet.”

“Sweet?”

“Yeah,” he murmured, hooking his index fingers under the thin straps of her panties, slowly pulling them down.

Her hand reached back down right away, tentatively at first, but then one finger disappeared wholly inside, and she started to buck into her own hand.

“Jesus, babe. You’re so fucking hot.” His own hand slid into his shorts, finding his dick thick and ready, pulsating and waiting desperately for attention. He started with slow, languid strokes, barely any pressure, just a little something to take off the edge. He reached up and palmed her right breast, squeezing it firmly before starting to roll her nipple between his thumb and index finger.

Her eyes caught sight of his busy hand and she whimpered before it grew into a proper moan as her clit hit this wonderful spot on her palm that almost made her tumble over the edge for a second. She slumped forward against his body, his face now against her belly, surprising her by biting and licking at her soft flesh hungrily. She let him for a bit, ran her fingers through his hair, watching him leaving wet spots and red marks on her stomach.

Suddenly, she pulled him away from her. Her patience was gone. No matter how good it felt, she needed him now, and let him know by pushing at his chest so that he landed back on his elbows. He chuckled in delight and raised his hips as her fingers tucked at his shorts, not wasting any time anymore, finally freeing him.

The twitch of his cock as Gillian’s eyes fell on it didn’t go unnoticed, and she tucked her bottom lip between her teeth and smiled one of the slyest smiles he’d ever seen. It made him harden even a little more.

He welcomed her in his lap by putting his arms around her slim waist and pulling her close, kissing her.

This felt so, so right. All of it - her warm body flush against his, his pulsating dick nestled in her hot slit, tongues playing their exciting game. This woman was his undoing in the best ways possible.

David yelped in surprise as he suddenly found himself in her hand. Her grip was much firmer than his own, of course. She knew him better than he knew himself after all. She stroked him with purpose, slowing only to circle the tip of his penis with her thumb before squeezing it in her palm and starting to rub only the shaft, and his efforts to stay still died with an involuntary buck into her hand.

When the head of his cock dipped into her wetness, both of them gasped and quickly looked at one another before falling into soft laughter.

“I love the fuck out of you, you have no idea,” he said genuinely as she sank down onto him; soft, tight walls suddenly surrounding him wholly.

“Hmm,” Gillian raised her right eyebrow, smiling smugly at him. “I fucking love your cock,” she said, starting to rotate her hips.

“You fucking love my cock or you love fucking my cock?”

“Where’s the difference? I miss it when it’s not in me,” she slurred and closed her eyes, concentrating on the sensation of her slow movements.

David grinned and squeezed her thighs. “I can assure you that it misses you too.”

“Ohhh,” she moaned and squeezed her muscles around him.

“Yeah…” he breathed, holding onto her hips as her arms came around his neck and breasts were shoved into his face.

Her movements were becoming frantic as the hot puffs of air coming out of her mouth were wettening his forehead. She was completely uninhibited now, grinding her clit against his pelvis, moaning and whimpering loudly as her release came closer and closer.

“Do you ever miss my pussy?” she shifted in his lap and looked at him. Her movements had come to a stop, only her inner muscles were working, milking him with every squeeze.

“Hell yeah,” David rasped and his balls tightened dangerously. “Every day, every hour, every minute-” he groaned as she dropped her head into the crease of his neck and bit his throat, “Every second… I cannot kiss it, lick it, fuck it... I miss it.”

“Then fuck it now,” she said and lifted her head off his shoulder. “Fuck me, David.”

“Jesus Christ,” he growled and wrapped his arm around her waist.

She’d expected him to turn them both around and settle back in between her legs, but instead, he lifted her to the side so that she ended up sitting on her knees beside him. He came up behind her and pushed her forward so he wouldn’t fall into the pool before bending over her and licking along the line of her spine.

Her body shivered under him. Every nerve ending from her toes up to her head felt like it was on fire, and everything was tingling.

She almost screamed out loud when he entered her from behind, slamming his his hips against her ass while at the same time, biting into the side of her neck.

Her arms were suddenly so weak that she had to brace herself on her elbows, and he placed a last couple of kisses on her shoulder blade before thrusting into her hard and fast.

His fingers were almost painfully digging into her sides, and somewhere in the back of her mind Gillian realized that she would be a sore, walking bruise tomorrow. They both would.

His arm snuck around her middle and suddenly, his fingers were on her swollen clit, pressing, rubbing and pinching and fuck, it felt so good. So unbelievably good.

“Fuck you’re so tight. Feels so good,” he whispered into her neck.

He was everywhere, his large body surrounding hers completely. Even after all these years she couldn’t believe that they were such a good match, with him being so big and her being so tiny. But nothing had ever been more perfect than this.

“David,” she whimpered as his fingers became quicker and her walls began to flutter around him. It was only a matter of seconds before, before… she moaned, and her legs started to shake violently, almost giving up on her if his grip hadn’t been so strong.

“You’re coming, babe,” he grunted, giving her a few quick, hard thrusts and removing his fingers from her clit to press them into her lower belly right above her mons.

“Fu-huck!” she cried out loud as her orgasm hit her forcefully, and the last thing she remembered was the feeling of his hot semen spilling into her before everything went black.

His face was right above hers when she came back to herself. Her heart was still beating rapidly in her chest, but she was laying on her back now.

“Did I just faint during orgasm?” she asked confused, but relaxed immediately when he grinned at her.

“No, not really. You kept talking to me, even if it was just “O's” and “I’s”. But your muscles gave out,” he said and lay down beside her, cradling her close against his chest.

“What did you do with your hand?”

He grinned. “You liked it?”

“It almost killed me!”

“Nah, I doubt that,” he whispered and nuzzled his nose against hers. “Glad to see it works for you, though.”

“Fuck, David. My legs are still shaking.”

“Yep, they are. Are you okay?” he asked softly, his genuine concern making her smile.  

Gillian nodded and closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of his warm hands slowly roaming over her back. “Yes. But I have to tell you” she murmured and met his gaze again. She cupped his chin between her fingers and drew him closer to her face before whispering, “If we ever get a divorce, it’s definitely because of the bad sex.”

Both of them were chuckling quietly as she captured his lips for a soft, passionate kiss.

#moving forward #my writing #gillovny #gillovny trash #rpf #thexfiles rpf #gillovny rpf #alternate universe #smut #love #xfiles rpf