Tenderness
***
All day you’d felt worn out. The moment you woke up you felt heavy, like a weight was placed on your chest. You were tired and your heart ached for reasons you couldn’t quite place. The dark storm clouds that loomed in the Hawkins sky the entire afternoon, swollen with rain, reflected your blue mood.
And so you lazed around the trailer all day, not doing much else besides staring out the window and watching thick rain drops assault the asphalt, the sparse grass out front overflowing with muddy water by late afternoon.
Though it was spring and the sun had begun to set later in the evening, its welcome glow was absent today—hidden behind stubborn stone grey clouds—as the clock's hands aligned vertically on the 12 and the six. Despite this, a little peak of brightness enters the space as the front door to the trailer creaks open. Eddie.
You watch silently from the couch with your chin resting in your palm as he sheds his jacket to reveal his frizzy, damp curls beneath his hood. He shakes them out, almost like a dog, before his eyes land on you and instinctually, a warm smile graces his lips. Just like that, the clouds open up and sunlight bursts into the room. The weight on your chest—though still present—feels lighter as Eddie moves deeper into the space.
“Hey,” he greets warmly. And for some reason, the sound of his voice makes your lip wobble.
Eddie’s smile falters slightly then, but before he can ask you what’s wrong or move toward you, you stand from the couch, finding you know exactly what you need; deep in your heart you know this will cure your ills.
When you reach him, you still don’t speak a single word, but pull your arms around his middle and lay your head against his warm chest. He smells of fresh rain and underneath that, something distinctly Eddie; a lovely familiar scent.
Beneath the soft cotton of his shirt, you can hear the steady, sure beat of his heart. Eddie doesn’t hesitate to put his arms around you then. Still doesn’t ask why. Just accepts this is what you need. Trusts that you will tell him everything if there is anything to tell.
You both stay there just like that for quite some time; not talking, just holding each other. A sweet silhouette of everything tender and kind. It’s warm and simple and everything you could ever need. Slowly, the weight lifts from your chest completely. Like his simple embrace has made you miraculously sprout wings and soar.
Nothing beyond this exists. It is just this. Just you. Just him. Just this all-consuming warmth which makes you feel entirely whole.
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the truly problematic thing about having insanely vivid dreams just about every night--and i mean the kind of vivid where you remember details days or even weeks later, like it's just another normal-ass memory--is that you wind up losing track on an emotional level of what's real. like. i know that was a dream. obviously it was a dream. but some part of my brain misses it like it really happened. i am painfully, achingly nostalgic for people i've never met, places i've never been, shit that literally could not ever happen--but i feel as though i remember. which is just the most unhinged thing, right? like, i remember going on a run that took me over a fence into Disneyland, and i remember having to take a shortcut through a Chinese restaurant, but it was fine, because Erika Ishii was there, and they'd done this before, so no worries. right? no! obviously not! why do i remember this with such visceral clarity three weeks later?
oh, what's your favorite episode of this TV show? the one i dreamt. yeah, don't worry about it, it didn't make coherent sense, but it was in the feelings, right? my ship had the best fucking scene. no, of course i can't explain it to you, that's madness. it involved a rocking chair. don't worry about it. it's fine. it's super important i don't accidentally reference this in a fic someday, though.
this shit is deranged, dude. missing people who are quite literally my own brain's invention with an actor's face. missing places that are a meld of a movie i saw once, my childhood bedroom, the second floor of my high school, and inter-dimensional space. like. no! no, this shouldn't be a thing! is, though. the clarity of it. just fucking bananas. this has been happening to me my whole goddamn life.
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fine if twitter won't let me see fanart i'll write another analysis thingy
I don't think many people are aware of this but Street SEKAI isn't just born from the member's dreams to surpass rad weekend. Nonono it's born from dreams and aspiration and those just happen to lie with the end goal being rad weekend.
Like, come on now, we all know Kohane didn't know what the hell a rad weekend was when the SEKAI first revealed itself to her and An. It revealed itself because Kohane wanted to be passionate about something, she wanted a dream.
An sang with all her heart on the street and then declared her dream of surpassing that legendary night to the city. I doubt many people cared about her dream but that didn't matter to An. She had drive, she had passion, surpassing rad weekend is what she knows she wants to devote her heart and soul to.
Kohane on the other hand was a school girl who just happened to be passing by. Kohane was a normal girl who didn't think she stood out or was particularly outstanding at anything. She was shy and had no confidence and was nothing like the girl singing with every last bit of passion on the street. Kohane wishes that she had a dream like that, she wishes she had something to throw herself into and run along with.
And that's why the SEKAI revealed itself to her. An had a dream but had no one to walk alongside her. Kohane wanted a dream and wishes she could be a bit more like the singing stranger. Kohane was the perfect person for An, and An was the perfect person for Kohane. An could take Kohane by the hand and drag her into a new world of passion and ambition and dreams that Kohane never imagined that she would see. They would reach that light together.
The SEKAI doesn't even initially reveal itself to Akito and Toya. Like sure we know their dreams influenced it too but the SEKAI was only able to properly manifest because Kohane was the final piece of the puzzle. Three passionate people who wholeheartedly are devoted to a dream and one girl who has never been anything but average and has never been able to dedicate herself to something like this. That's what the SEKAI was born from. Rad weekend is what links those passions together, but the SEKAI is born from passion and dreams.
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It's not so low-key messing with me how I was 98% sure to have fallen out off my Rory hyperfixation only to experience the juiciest, most saucy Sam Lafferty dream during a pre-work nap today.
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