#this ones for 2 people who know me irl

[yummypetroliumjelly]

OKAY IMPORTANT POLL

#disease tw #this ones for 2 people who know me irl

[makkie-is-screaming]

having a mutual you want to be friends with but knowing your the driest texter ever

#Didn’t have a phone until the end of freshman year n then I only had one friend who never responded to texts #so I didn’t learn how to text like a normal person #the only person I really text is my cousin but we text random ass shit like she’ll text me to tell me she’s taking a piss #Who knows why but she does #N irl I have a grand total of 2 friends so bitch I’m lonely #but tbh I don’t know if I have the energy to be friends with a lot of people irl #Also I don’t like most people so making friends isn’t easy for me #what is this rant it does not feel coherent imma stop it rn #screaming

[camptw1nk]

i miss. the vibes of the rpc a few years back

#things just felt more. community based #people interacted more w each other on the dash and it felt like people were really there to interact and not just for a follower count #its probably rose colored glasses in a lot of ways bc thats when i was most active so thats when it was most enjoyable but #idk there was just something ab the days where u could have 50 followers and always be interacting w most of them #these days ill get 200 followers and the same 5 mutuals interacting all the time #and like. huge shoutout to them they know who they are but those people make this site worth being on #its just. idk its tiring when a lot of time is spent yelling into the void that is the dash and getting nothing back #and to some extent timezones r to blame and also my lack of writing but its. its not just a lately thing #its been getting worse for years and i think this is really the first time ive ever been like. not active on tumblr? #like im here but a couple of years ago the idea of me having a main blog and barely ever logging in or writing was absurd #i would be online and writing 24/7 if not here then on discord and wire #bc people were always around to interact with and now its just like. oh weve all grown up and become adults and no one has time #for each other anymore and its very. thats life thats how it is but it sucks idk #maybe this is 2 some extent projection also bc thats how things r irl rn but thats just. tahts not important

[rinielelrandir]

If you follow me and in any way, shape, or form think the Israeli civilians killed and kidnapped on 07Oct (including children! including old people! including goddamn peace activists working for Palestinian liberation longer than some of us have been alive!) *deserved* what happened by virtue of being Israeli? Do me a favor and unfollow me. This is me showing you the door, please see yourself out, I do not want to have a conversation with you about this. (See tags for caveat.) Because killing of non-combatants is never okay.

It literally does not matter which "side" you are on here. To be clear, I do not agree with being on any "side", this isn't a fucking sports match. These are real people being straight up murdered. Palestinian and Israeli. Both for having the misfortune to be born the wrong country or the wrong religion. That will always be wrong. Hamas is wrong. The Israeli government is wrong. Because killing civilians is always wrong. That's it. That's the takeaway. You don't get to say "Palestinians have a right to self-defense" as a justification for 07Oct. Self-defense does not extend to civilian targets. To non-combatants. To CHILDREN.

And to be quite clear, I will not accept "Israel has a right to self-defense" as a justification for the killing of Palestinian civilians but I'm largely not seeing that from Jewish leftists, including Israelis and including Zionists. I'm largely seeing them call for a ceasefire and for peace and condemn the Israeli government and its actions.

But I *am* seeing fellow western leftists, particularly non-Jews, defend Hamas and the 07Oct attacks in their desire to stand with Palestine. You have to stop doing that. Hamas are not the good guys, you can read their damn charter documents online. You can read analyses of them by experts - Hamas is a religious extremist group intent on imposing jihadist control over the entire region and eliminating all Jews. It's not something they've been secretive about. They routinely kidnap, torture, and kill PALESTINIAN peace activists who they learn have met with Israeli peace activists or in any way worked towards a 2 state solution. They use global aid donated to Gaza for themselves while letting their citizens suffer. Their most prominent leaders don't even live within Gaza, aren't even at severe risk. These are all things you can verify easily and readily just by doing some basic research anywhere that isn't Twitter, tumblr, or Al Jazerra.

So if you want to justify killing civilians? If you want to support a terrorist organization? If you are going to unilaterally condemn all Israelis for the crime of being citizens of a country whose government you disagree with? Please see yourself out. And when you do, please keep in mind that I am a nonzionist telling you to kindly consider availing yourself of the sea. I do not support Israel and I work with actual Palestinian liberation organizations when I can. I've been doing so for the better part of the past 5 years. I attend a synagogue that is actively involved in Palestinian liberation as well as the first nonzionist havurah in the US. I'm not exactly new to this.

But I am also a Jew. I do not support Israel, the government of the nation state, largely because I do not support the concept of nation states as a whole. I find the system inherently violent. But I *do* support, Israel, the people. I am a Jew by Choice. I have chosen to throw my lot in with Israel and her people. They are MY people. If you gleefully call for my people to be slaughtered, I want nothing to do with you.

#caveat that if we're actually friends you are free to reach out for a conversation about this #the no conversations bit applies only to followers #mutuals who are not irl friends i will allow good faith questions but know i will likely be less forgiving than if we were friends #also no content tags for this bc i really don't want it being found #but yeah i'm having a ROUGH time lately with all this #basically every single one of my jewish friends has a family member or friend on a casualty list #or a missing list from 07Oct #and if they don't they know someone who does #i have a friend from that havurah i mentioned who had 2 longtime friends in Israel affected #both were elderly peace activists living on kibbutzim and working for palestinian liberation #one was killed and the other taken hostage #and i just i can't handle the people saying 'everyone deserved it' #really? really??? #did *they* deserve it #did the children killed deserve it??? #(i have a dead sister if you tell me anyone ever deserves their child to die i will personally fight you) #oh and did the bedouins who were also at the music festival and also killed deserve it? #bc ya know hamas didn't just kill israeli jews that day #they also killed bedounis (who are generally considered palestinian) #bc hamas is an extremist terrorist group and that's what they do

[perilegs]

i pass pretty much all the time but hm. ive heard interesting stuff from drunk ppl i know who dont know im trans

#''haha when my bf was talking about you and i asked to see a picture he showed me one and i was like... is that right? bc i thought that was #a girl in that pic. i mean only bc i didnt expect him to have any girlypop friends haha'' #yeah i mean that is an average thing to say and not mean or anything but it hits a bit different when im trans #i mean the person saying that didnt know and if they did they would have never said anything like that #but it's still a bit. hmmm. #also the topic of my looks came up and it's funny how everyone thinks i'm cute #i wish i could b masc hot but im fine with being cute. not everyone can look good the same way #but like it's so common for the only compliment transmascs get being ''cute'' for various reasons but i think in my case it's just my #wavy hair and slight babyface and round features #which yeah ok whatever i'm still young - ive got plenty of time to start looking less like a boy and more like a man #as in even if i was a cis guy id look pretty much like this #though! im only 2 years on t so i cant wait what the future holds for how i'll look :3c #well almost 2 and a hlaf but yknow #also i have a slight. can i say this. ''tranny voice'' which. slay. but i was told i ''sound like a femboy'' which #once again super funny that ppl say that stuff bc they genuinely cant tell im trans #the only reason i pass is bc i get read as [justin mcelroy voice] kinda faggy #oh that guy over there with wide hips and feminine manners and voice and small feet and hands [compared to cis men] with an apparently cute #face who doesnt seem to know anything about stereotypical guy stuff? thats a cis man #and i love that #but also one of these ppl is not cis #if you saw me irl you'd know im insanely easy to clock for trans people #but yeah whatever im just amused by all this it's kind of fun having ppl not know im trans #but also i have a new friend who doesnt know and i think i should let him know at some point if it comes up bc idk man. it feels like im #living a secret life or something. like obviously no one has the right to know im trans but. i can make the choice of wanting someone toknow #but also hes my only guy friend who lives in this city. well technically not the only one i have another friend but we never hang out irl. #anyways i dont want to ruin our broship #i dont think itd get ruined and if it did itd just mean whatever but im still scared #agh idk #leevi talks

[sludgeguzzler]

man. i changed so much these past years

#im different from last years me who was different from 2021 me who was different from 2020 me and so on and so forth #it feels kinda weird thinking about it bc i went through *so much stuff* #all of it in just the past 4 years... insane #i found out i was trans. i went on lockdown. i started posting my art online. i made online friends. #i went through three different relationships. every single one of them changed me forever. #i started writing. i finished middle school. i read homestuck. i used discord everyday for 2 years. #i found my personal sense of style. i started going tk school again. i made friends irl. i lost all the online friends i had. #(thay wasnt bc of any scandal i just left the friendgroup and then started to slowly interact more with ppl irl #whi sorta made my online interactions dwindle especially one-on-one interactions #i think i feel better like this go be honest with you. the connections feel stronger and i feel closer to the friends ive made #not saying i dont like the people i know and befriended here just saying that not being chronically online anymore really changed how i #go through with internet interactions) #damn. really feeling the passage of time now. #also this is not a sad reminiscent post im *really* glad im in the place i am in life right now #i have a qpp i have an irl friendgrouo that i feel 100% comfortable with for the first time in my life im doing ok at school #i have a vision for my future my relationship with my parents is sooo much better #idk man. compare that with 14 year old me eating alone at school bc i was too scared to talk with the other people on my class and like. #yeah man. im doing a lot better #i DO have to update my art blog though. its been too long sincd i posted anything #talk

[colorstormx]

what if I renamed Storm as Zephyr instead. what if I renamed myself Zephyr. hmm. hmmmmmm.

#nothing permanent decided just yet of course #but I was just reminded that the word exists and hit damn. it sure does have a certain pull to it #if I do rename Storm then like... 'Storm' would definitely still stick around as a nickname at the very least #but like. I'm honestly considering it for my own name. I've been looking for a better one #my birth name is just ehhhh to me. I don't feel a ton of connection to it really #and Color is fine for online spaces/with people who know this side of me. but it's not really something I tend to introduce myself as irl #I mean to be fair Zephyr might not be taken much more seriously either but it does have a certain feel that I like #eh. if it doesn't really really stick with me then maybe it'll end up as the name for an alternate Storm form or something #like that angel design I made for her yeaaaaars ago #ironically it's about this time of year that I decided to change her name from Color to Storm. that was back around new years 2017... #holy FUCK how is that SEVEN years ago #I. huh. what .. what the fuck. yeah it was winter 2016/17 I'm pretty sure? if not then it was 2015/16 which means eight years and. man. huh. #okay checking old refs it was in fact 2017 when she officially became Storm #wild. #anyway that's tonight's 2:30am thoughts #the snowjag speaks

[pansyfemme]

i love that its so common for people to call me dude or man its like the default way to greet me for a lot of people both online and offline and i think its partly bc i kinda. talk in a weird casual way like a stereotypical teenager but like from a distant era mixed with autism and constant typos but like it is like a term of endearment to me i love being called bro or man or dude and i love that people just. get that without me having to say it

#its weird but i notice ppl who dont know eachother at all greet me in similar ways #a common one is people to start a message with JUDE or JUDEEEEE which is funny 2 me bc irl #my friends greet me the same way by yelling my name #i had one highscool friend who would sing my name loudly everytime she saw me #makes me happy ppl r excited 2 see me

[scare-ard--sleigh]

what should be my real housewives of beverly hills replacement once i catch up? keep in mind that this is to fill a reality tv specific hole in me and i watch that show bc i love Mess !!

#silver jelly #going back and forth and back and forth lmao bc like #new york was orginally definitely my next but it has 13 seasons and that feels like A Commitment after 12 seasons of rhobh #potomac only has 7 and it has the bonus of being in maryland and that's really fun for me #i'm open to rh shows taking place anywhere else but if it's not one of those 2 i'm leaning toward something 8 seasons or less #ideally 5 or less tbh unless the drama is REALLY REALLY good. #also for people wondering i'm almost done with s9 and lisa rinna is my FAVE rn but eileen davidson & adrienne maloof are my all-time #faves. erica would be up there but acab. hatedddd brandi but i thought the season with carlton was particularly juicy. #let's see; rhobh did a vanderpump rules 'crossover' event for the brandi/scheana confrontation and to be totally honest i did not enjoy it #but i'm willing to give it another chance if it's good. i don't know anyone irl who watches this stuff lmao #so i've got like no point of reference. #i was super obsessed with project runway growing up and did a partial rewatch like 5 years back #and i still absolutely lovedddddddd it despite not being fond of michael kors or nina garcia #js and ultimatum are explanatory; i'm here for The Drama tbh #it's maybe fucked up but shows about other people's interpersonal conflicts are really good escapism for me #it's why i was so into succ lmao #i need like A Problem To Solve even when i'm in rest mode plus it's really inspirational for writing effective conflicts/misunderstandings #(these are very scorpio sun/gemini rising things to say ooooops) #anyway vote away even if you've never seen any of these !!! i also love controlled chaos !!!!

[royalarchivist]

Quackity: Check this out -- this one says “For John Smith”. John Smith: I’m in love, bro.

#Quackity #John Smith #IRL #(John Smith is Quackity's old IRL friend from high school for those who don't know) #Quackity's sense of humor sucks so much but I was cry-laughing this entire stream anyways #because his laugh always makes me laugh #and also I was laughing because John Smith was like :I the entire time meanwhile Quackity was doubled-over losing his mind #He DID laugh for like a full 45 minutes at dumb wolf memes during the Karmaland stream immediately before this though #so I'll give him a pass for this one his brain was fried lmfao #gosh I adore Quackity #Quackity's friend is so cute bro MAN I miss seeing my people #Wish we had more Mexicans in my city it's so lonely out here :( #This comes like 2 minutes after he told Quackity ''no I've never been in love''

[biracy]

Tbh I should probably take a break. I almost definitely won't but I should, yknow

#idk i don't have much 'real stuff' happening irl besides like. job hunting and college applications. so it's hard #but i think if i at least ease off some time on here n read a little more n watch more movies i might start to feel better #haven't really liked where my head's been at lately it feels like whatever persona is The One Who Blogs is 'taking over' more #to put it in a very dorky comic book-sounding ass way LMAO but that's how i feel! like i'm losing my own 'voice' yknow #my mental health is Bad my physical health is also Not Great n i kinda feel like ass. if i'm being honest #idk i feel like i'm crashing from whatever high i've been on for the past couple of days n i'm not Really super happy w myself #except the media literacy posts those were good. but like the more discoursey stuff i'm not proud of #again sorry to like. publicly vent LMAO i'll be fine i'm good. i'm trying really hard to pull myself out of this #but again. sorry abt the Shite i was posting earlier today i wasn't really in my own right head #just kinda wanted 2 get all that off my chest idk if it's clear that i don't really have anyone i feel like i can talk to right this moment #i'm very socially isolated irl and i'm so scared of becoming socially isolated online too just bc i'm an idiot who doesn't think b4 he post #NOT to make it sound all about me or whatever but it's true. i'm very very scared of losing people n right now this is My Space #i'd forgotten just how bad it felt. in this Specific case it is kinda my fault tho LMAO don't worry i've apologized as best i know how #okay i'm done. i'm done. i'm gonna go watch tv and go to bed i hope #open mick night

[maraeffect]

there is literally not a worse feeling that exists than the feeling that you just annoy people.

#just doesn't exist. I'm so fucking isolated right now i absolutely hate it. and the people that ARE close to me? #i feel that i annoy them the most and one of them is actively pushing me away #i can't find anyone to be friends with me IRL here in Jersey. it's been almost nine months here #and I don't have a single IRL friend. i try online apps and support groups but nothing clicks #and the people that chat with me on the apps stop answering after 2 messages. #my own best friend of like 8 years won't even fucking talk to me. not bc she hates me or anything #but she is so fucking caught up in her own head that she literally avoids me. so that sucks!! #i know she's suffering bc she is so worried about me but. it's a really big slap in the face that #we've supported each other thru thick and thin the past 8 years. and i dropped everything for her more than once #but in my time of biggest need when I'm the most alone I've ever been in my adult life??? #she cannot show up for me. that fucking sucks. #and I've distanced myself from my only close family bc they've severely mistreated me so. #all i have is my partner. who means the world to me and sacrifices so much to help me!! #but it comes at the cost of CONSTANTLY feeling like a huge fucking annoyance to the only person in my life #who is genuinely able to show that they love and care for me. that's literally awful to feel. #we just had our 5 year anniversary and i needed something really celebratory so badly. #and it didn't happen and our ''anniversary'' was just at home #and our official anniversary of starting dating is on veterans Day. and we won't even be in the same fucking region #so I'll be alone with my shitty family. #i hate it i feel so unappreciated and unwanted and like nothing about me is ever enough. #negative #audio

[welcometoteyvat]

co-op is crazy bc in the same co op session you can immediately click with someone and then find out the other rando who joined might be a racist

#i let everyone into my place unless i didn't click fast enough so ... #the experiences have been a) met one (1) whale who like has c3 or above of multiple characters #limited characters** forgot to specify lol #b) met multiple kids who are Way Younger than i expected.... yikes pls go touch grass dont play the gacha #c) met people who i like really vibe with and talk to semi regularly #d) this fuckass dickwad #tfw you pretend you're a race you're not to two poc over co op #there are cool people over co op though. most of the time <3 #most people just come and get mats too so its like whatever. happy 2 help your farming sessions though #there are also people who just stand there and wait for me to do something like 😭 i dont got the time either you talk to me rn or you #start doing things instead of just standing there. if neither of these happen im kicking you srry #there was one person wayyyy back who led me all the way to chinju forest and then played ayaka's theme to me though it was soooo cute #shoutout to anyone who bothers to learn genshin songs on the lyre and then play them yall are real ones #also did not know that so many cis males played genshin until they came to my world lol (and i met them irl but thats another thing) #problem is that some of them are like 14 and say gan.yu is their waifu ???? 😭😭😭 like bro idk how to react to that 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #ok this is getting a little too tmi but whatever #maybe ill delete it but conclusion coop is Wild

[depresseddepot]

the way i try so SO hard to gain even a crumb of body neutrality only to then see some shit on twitter that remind me that oh yeah. a distinct portion of the population genuinely believes they are being discriminated against when they have to look at or be within 50 feet of a fat person

#the amount of times ive heard my skinny friends call themselves fat and disgusting to my face without considering the implications #i saw some tweet that just like. had a fat person in the video and ALL of the responses were men making fun of her #like. yes i realize my life would be so much better if i was born with a faster metabolism. thank you for reminding me #yes i realize i am not treated seriously because i am fat #that sort of incredulous look skinny people give you when you have the audacity to sit near them on the bus or ask for directions #like they're shocked you weren't some round thing that was in their sights for 2 seconds to make fun but disappeared #i am trying very hard not to let it get to me but when so many people seem to think the same thing it feels stupid #likei know i dont see people the way allosexuals do but are fat people really so disgusting that they feel like they can say shit like that #its so so frustrating #if i am going to die alone because of my own failings i can learn to accept that #but if i die alone because i can't find anybody that doesn't think fat people are worthless then what is the fucking point lmao #''people irl dont actually think that'' i cant count on 1 hand the amount of skinny people who have lamented about their weight to my face #someone brings in cookies to work and as im eating one someone skinny says ''well. i really don't need the extra calories so ill pass'' #someone skinny checking out diet/exercise books because they ''REALLY have to lose some weight'' #no they aren't talking about me/to me but how detached from your surroundings do you have to be to shit on yourself for your weight #like. even if i was skinny they're still talking about how gross and ugly they are around kids #''love your body and your self!!!1!!1'' okay then stop calling yourself disgusting regardless of how much you weigh. #you can think if if you want but god that 12 year old girl in line behind you is going to remember that forever #she is going to internalize ''oh okay. thats what a disgusting body looks like'' #andthen she'll grow up and hate herself and continue the fucking cycle #just stop. stop talking about your weight around kids. i dont need 60 yo women telling me they're gross when they weigh maybe 150 lbs #i know this is super unhealthy but i literally cannot wait until i can move out and isolate myself from society #because every second i try to engage with it is literal torture #yall are so mean for no reason #i dont really have much to live for #but it would be helpful if skinny people didn't constantly reiterate that there's no point to living if you aren't skinny #im so tired #vent

[n0ct0urn1quet]

god. i hate socializing and i hate talking to people . why cant i just look at someone i wanna be friends with and go hey ur cool let's be friends now

#i need . Friends. Desperately #but also i hate. HATE talkikign to people because i never have like. naything to talk about. ever #im in a gc with like ~7 other ppl who i was irl friends with at one point #and GOD. i wanna talk to all of them again #one of them reached out to me a while back n she and i talked but i just didnt. know. what to say #i am so used to talking to my gf and my best friend who ive known for several YEARS that when i try to talk to someone new #or someone i havent spoken to in a while im just like . okay. i have to act normal and not weird #i cant keysmash in response to everything they say i actually have to say WORDS. or else theyll be like . huh #and then it gets to a point where im just like ogh i dont know what eo even say anymore but i wanna keep this conversation Going #but then i just dont . say anything. and they dont say anything. and we go silent again for another couple months #recently lso i noticed one of my old old internet friends started being online on discord again #and i wa lsike oh my gOD its THEM!!!!!! i havent talked to them in like. 2 ish years? maybe longer? #but. idk. i didnt reach out to them. bc i was like. what if they dont remember me #thats another thing i feel like i come across old internet friends on here sometimes on tumblr and im just like oh i remember you but #ive switched accounts and changed usernames so many different times that im just like. oh. you probably dont remember me #and even if i told you who i was. that i was so-and-so from 4 years ago. you wouldn't remember me. so oh well!!!!! #so now im just . sitting here <33 i want friends but making them is hard and keeping them is even harder . dies

[my-gf-is-kazuichi-soda]

I think I spent 5hrs on this? I made it in one day bc I'm nuts. Enjoy!

#amv #danganronpa 2 #hajime hinata #.....dot dot dot space space space extra space #spoilers to who the guy is in the next tag so this tag is just to block the spoiler dont look if you dont want spoilers before watching #teruteru hanamura #posting to this acct bc I don't think anyone on my main ever cared about my videos and this is danganronpa related anyway #um let's keep acct names between us okay? please dont call me ***** on this channel call me Zee #not bc I'm trying to be anonymous that ship has sailed. I just dont want someone to look up *****theart*** and find this acct #bc people I know irl know that username but not this one. just keeping things lowkey #Youtube