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awesomerextyphoon · 3 years

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Speculum Cupido

Summary: You’ve been Dr. Strange’s apprentice for some time now and you wanted to prove your best friend wrong. It goes awry and both of you find yourselves in a ‘dark mirror’ universe where the Captain, the Asset, the Kraken, and the Fallen Angel want to make both of you theirs.

Pairing: Dark!Steve x Female Reader x Dark!Ransom, minor Dark!Bucky x OFC x Dark!Sam

Rating: 18+ / Explicit

Word Count: 3,072

Warning: Dub/Non-Con Smut, Oral (m & f receiving), Daddy Kink, MMF Threesome, Double Penetration, Spit Roasting, Non-Con Drugging, Breeding Kink, and Artistic License w/Biology

A/N: This is my gift to @labella420 for @drabblewithfrannybarnes, @chrissquares , and @amythedvdhoarder’s Happy Hoelentine’s Day Challenge. Dividers are by the lovely @firefly-graphics. Shout out to @saiyanprincessswanie for letting me borrow an idea of hers for this fic. Thanks to @the-soulofdevil for the beta.

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Another Valentine’s Day, another day for the world to mock me being single.

You were having enough of a ‘meh’ week as it is. Dr. Strange had to return to Kamar-Taj for an in-person meeting and Wong was who knows where. They had instructed you to work on your portal and transfiguration spells while they were away which was fair since you’ve been lacking in that department.

It’s just that you longed for some excitement.

Luckily you wouldn’t be spending Valentine’s completely alone; Isabeau, your best friend, was coming over due to as she put it, ‘no one cares about a day where all one gets is somewhat good sex’.

Fast Forward two hours and you’re getting your room ready for Galentine’s Day Movie Night. You had decked out your room with homemade baked goods, drinks, best friend movies, all the good shit.

“I have wonderful news!” Isabeau burst in with gusto yet again.

You shot her a bemused smile, “What is it this time?”

“I have a new crush! It’s Eric from IT!”

“Are you sure this won’t end up like last time?” you queried in reference to the time when Isabeau’s crush turned out to be a complete asshole.

“Oh hush! This won’t be like that at all,” Isabeau retorted, “Now how about you? Have you had any luck with a hot sorcerer?”

“If only I’d be so lucky,” you muttered as Isabeau started on the Toffee Crunch Cookies you made.

A few minutes later, Isabeau’s eyes narrowed and her full lips curved upward in a mischievous smirk.

She had one of her ideas again.

“Hey, why don’t you try an ambiance spell. They’re harmless and you always feel better afterward.”

You didn’t like casting them due to something always going awry, but you relented once Isabeau broke out her puppy dog eyes.

“Alright, alright, I give,” you submitted, “I’ll try a simple floating star spell. Let me find the book.”

Both of you went to the library for the book but it was nowhere to be found. All of the ambiance and illusion books were blank.

“Is this a sorcerer thing? I’m not seeing any words or illustrations,” puzzled Isabeau as you went through book after book in the library only to find them blank.

“No. Maybe we should just go back to my room,” you suggested as you made your way to the exit.

“Wait! There’s one book left. You could try that one.” Isabeau pointed to the last book on the shelf. It was a little worn like many of the books that resided in the library, but the inscriptions seemed odd; like it wasn’t supposed to be there.

Yet it was the only book that had anything in it.

“Fine,” you relented as you took the book back to your room.

The spells in the book weren’t anything out of the ordinary, but one spell seemed to stand out to both of you.

“Speculum Mundus?” Isabeau wondered.

“It means Mirror World in Latin.”

“Oh,” her eyes got a mischievous glint to them again, “I bet you can’t cast the spell.”

“Not this again.”

“Oh come on,” Isabeau goaded, “It’s a simple mirror world spell. You’ve done it before. What’s the worse that can happen?”

“I don’t know…”

“Are you gonna chicken out again?”

“No! Just give me a minute,” you mumbled as your hands got into the starting position and recited the incantation.

The room changed instantly.

It was filled with prism-like structures and kaleidoscope imagery giving the space a surreal ambiance.

It wasn’t unlike the last time you went into the Quantum Realm with Dr. Strange and Wong, and yet the hair on the back of your neck stood straight, and a chill shot through your spine.

You heard a gasp and turned around to see Isabeau with her protruding eyes opened wide and her mouth gaping. Following her line of sight, you saw four of the hottest men you’ve ever seen.

Though something was amiss.

For one thing, there were two Steve Rogers; one with a beard and one clean-shaven. Bucky Barnes’ arm was silver and not dark gray with gold highlights. All of them were in black uniforms with sections of vermillion and/or maroon. Clean-shaven Steve had a black tactical suit with a vermillion Kraken on his chest. Bearded Steve had a skull with tentacles on it. Sam had three vermillion stripes and one maroon stripe across his chest and shoulders with a falcon’s head in red surrounded by a black circle between his pecs.

But the thing that set off all your alarms was the fact that Bucky’s outfit was a dead ringer of his Winter Soldier days.

Instinctively, you grabbed Isabeau’s hand and made a mad dash for the hallway. You needed to get some distance so you could ground yourself.

You tried breaking the spell but to no avail. Not only did the spell not break, but your hands also burned at each attempt.

“We won’t lose you again!” one of the Steves yelled as you and Isabeau turned a corner.

“Come here, mici prințese!” another voice, probably Bucky’s shouted as the two of you made your way into a closet.

“I think we’re okay for now,” you breathed telepathically as the four Adonises crept past your hiding place.

“What’s the plan now?” Isabeau asked fearfully as her heartbeat started to rise in terror.

“I don’t know but-” you were cut off by a strike to the back of your head and your vision rapidly fading to black.

Muffled voices and the beeping of medical equipment brought you from the void.

“Nothing is wrong….they’re…good, sir.”

“Be sure that they are. We can’t leave anything up to chance.”

Groggily, you open your eyes to find yourself in a sleek hospital room lightly chained to a bed. Several other people were monitoring your vitals. One of them is Dr. Bruce Banner, or what seems to be Dr. Banner.

Bruce turned to see you looking around with a slightly confused expression, “Ah, you’re awake,” he turned to one of his aides, “Contact the Captain and Lieutenant. Tell them to come to get their bride.”

You blinked. Bride?

“Where is Isabeau, my friend?” you inquired as one of the aides brought you some water.

Bruce scowled, “Don’t think about her. You might be able to see her if the Captain and/or Lieutenant wills it.” he remarked while eyeing you up and down in a condescending almost lecherous manner, “Hmm, looks great for breeding,” Bruce noted as he fondled and prodded your curves.

You’ve always been proud of how you looked, but at that moment you wanted to shrink in the corner after giving this Bruce a roundhouse kick to the groin.

You were about to tell Dark!Bruce to fuck off when Tony Stark, fuck it, Dark!Tony entered the room. This Tony looked a lot more sinister with his silver, gray, light, and steel navy blue armor. His face and hair were mostly uncovered with his facial expression positively predatory.

“Cap’s one lucky bastard. He gets a sexy bunny along with Lieutenant Smart Ass.”

Recalling how some megalomaniacs liked shows of submissiveness, you lowered your head and asked where you were.

Whether it be out of pity, spite, or malice, Tony answered your question, “You’re in another earth, another universe.”

You nearly swiveled to look outside the window. NYC’s skyline was radically different. There were fewer buildings and HYDRA insignias everywhere.

“HYDRA took over this world.” You deadpanned. FUUUUCK!

“Sexy and smart.” Tony praised sardonically.

It didn’t take time for HYDRA to regroup after WWII. Zola and his associates were able to convince Howard Stark to give them the Tesseract with the promise of great renown, riches, and no longer being bound by the laws of weaker men. They were able to create a superweapon with the help of Dr. Whitney Frost and have been ruling the planet ever since.

It could be worse. HYDRA knew they had to offer the people comforts in exchange for their obedience. They eradicated all diseases, created a good standard of living, and ended all petty conflicts under the new world order.

Though Tony didn’t feel the need to tell you. You’ll figure it out on your own.

The doors opened to reveal Steve Rogers and his younger, clean-shaven counterpart in all their masculine glory.

“Good, you’re here.” Bruce welcomed smirking at your silent pleas.

Both soldiers walked over and inspected you.

“Hello, kitten. Name’s Ransom.” The clean-shaven soldier drawled as he moaned from your scent, “Nice set of lips you’ve got there.”

“We’ll definitely have some fun with her,” Steve noted as licked his lips ogling your curves.

You had to use all of your restraint not to spit in their faces.

“We’ll take her.” Ransom decided while Steve nodded.

Several of the aides breathed a sigh of relief as Steve broke the chains on your bed like they were nothing.

“Don’t have too much fun now!” Tony called as Steve picked you up bridal style.

“Who am I kidding? they’ll breed her like a Catholic rabbit!”

“Um, where are you taking me?” you queried, your voice barely above a whisper.

“You will address us as ‘Sir’ in public unless instructed otherwise. Is that understood?” It took all that Steve had not to push against the wall and pound your pussy with his cock he was so enraged.

No, he needed to wait. No one was to see what’s theirs.

Ransom, for his part, chuckled and shook his head, “Best not to anger this one, kitten. He hasn’t been in the best of moods.”

You gasped once the doors to their living quarters opened.

The place was huge!

It had a modern yet retro design; it should’ve been confusing, but it worked. Grand windows showcased the skyline with a balcony in the middle with a huge kitchen next to what looked to be a restaurant-style fridge and a huge living room with a TV and a fireplace.

Yet there seemed to be something missing.

“Place needs a woman’s touch,” Ransom commented sending a smirk your way.

“I’ll see you in the guest quarters Ransom” Steve deadpanned as he led you down a hall.

The bedroom was enormous yet sparse like they didn’t know what to do with it.

You were about to say something when Steve dropped you onto the incredibly soft mattress. His eyes darkened with lust and you knew what he wanted. You couldn’t think of a way out of this, not with the magic inhibitors Bruce placed on your wrists.

Maybe you could give escape one last try; you just had to wait for the right opening.

Steve smirked upon seeing you removing your clothes. He liked that you knew your place, his pretty little princess.

You could only gasp when Steve removed his uniform top. He had an incredibly defined musculature: broad shoulders, beefy biceps, chiseled pecs and abs, and a seriously drool-worthy Adonis Belt. The light shining behind him made his body appear even more glorious.

Steve looked like an ancient god brought to modern times.

With a predatory smirk, Steve slowly crawled to you loving the smell of your arousal. “Let me lay out a few rules, sweetheart. You will make our meals, clean our rooms, bear our children, and be our good little whore. You must earn the right to wear a bra; panties are out of the question.”

Each rule was emphasized by a kiss or a love bite to your jaw, neck, collarbone, and shoulders.

Finally, you are to address us as Sir in public and Daddy in private. Say it.”

“Yes, Daddy,” you muttered with your eyes downcast.

Steve lifted your chin up with his forefinger, “That’s a good girl,” and brought you in for a kiss on the lips.

The kiss was demanding yet soft. You were surprised he was capable of such gentleness.

Steve was about to push his tongue into his mouth when Ransom strolled into the room.

“Does she know the drill?”

Steve broke the kiss with a smirk,” Just finished explaining it.”

Ransom shot you a sardonic smirk, “You got the rules, kitten? Good. Now if you misbehave, I’m gonna send you to the dungeons for a few days.”

Steve started up again, “But...if you’re good-”

“A good little wifey,” Ransom interjected caressing your right cheek and leaning in for a kiss.

This kiss started off soft then intensified (really know how to lure a girl) into one filled with passion and dominance. Ransom forced his tongue into and moaned at your taste. A few seconds later he was pushing what felt like a small tablet past your tongue forcing you to swallow.

“Did you do it yet?”

“Cool it, grandpa! I did, don’t you worry. She’s gonna feel it. Aren’t ya, kitten.”

You started to feel strange. Your body temperature skyrocketed, your mind was in a deep haze, your thighs were clenching on overtime you were so turned on. You needed relief and fast.

“Please Daddies!” you begged as you tried your best not to touch yourself.

“See grandpa? She’s ready.” Ransom purred as he grabbed your thighs and placed them over his shoulders. He planted a few kisses near your entrance and groaned at the smell of your arousal.

It only took one long, slow lick to your slit to turn you into a moaning mess. You couldn’t believe the pleasure you were feeling. It was like a bolt of lightning shot through you.

Ransom groaned at the taste of your juices. Not even Stark’s overpriced chefs could compare. “Fuck, she tastes divine,” he groaned and dove in for more. Ransom attacked your folds and swollen clit with insane intensity and precision alternating between his tongue and fingers.

You were on cloud nine. Each motion took you further to the precipice of an orgasm. Ransom kept bringing you back from the edge only thrust you back into his level of tumultuous.

Steve got in on the action by covering your moans with a kiss of all-consuming passion and started playing with your breasts.

“Fuck, these tits are amazing! Can’t wait until these are filled with milk” Steve purred as he took one of your nipples into his mouth and the other between his big and forefingers.

After twenty minutes of teasing, Ransom finally let you come. A volcanic eruption of ecstasy erupted from your core and Ransom lapped up all of your juices.

“Rogers, you’re in for a treat!” Ransom exclaimed as he hopped off the edge of the mattress.

“I get her pussy first since you got to eat her out,” Steve uttered as grinned at your blissed-out state.

With a tsk, both of them got you into position with Steve’s thick, muscular thighs on either side of your hips and Ransom standing in front of you taking off his pants.

He was huge! His cock was long, thick, and veiny. It wobbled against his masterfully sculpted abs with each step he took. You wondered how that was going to fit in your mouth. Turns out Steve’s was no smaller if his tip being coated with your slick is any indication.

“This won’t hurt, kitten. You were made for us.” Ransom cooed.

You didn’t know how right he was.

Steve made his move by pushing into you inch by delicious inch and moaned at the sensation. “Fuck, she fits like a dream.”

“Don’t take forever, grandpa.” Ransom chided.

“Shut up, ya punk!” Steve retorted as he began thrusting into you loving the way your pussy clenched around him like a vice’s grip.

“Open wide, kitten,” Ransom started to push his throbbing cock into your mouth.

It took a bit of time and effort to loosen your jaw enough for him to fully enter you. He started fucking your mouth before you were ready. You tried not to gag he was so rough.

What happened to the man from earlier?

“Fuckin’ perfect.” Ransom breathed as he was approaching his climax.

Steve came with a primal roar that reverberated throughout the room after making you come two more times.

“Swallow it, kitten” Ransom ordered.

Funny thing is, you didn’t need the order. You delighted in the salty, tangy, and slightly sweet flavor.

Two minutes after you swallowed all of Ransom’s spent, both men decided it was time to move. Ransom got onto the mattress and pulled you on top of him with his tip nudging your entrance. Steve got behind you and placed kisses along the juncture between your neck and shoulders while positioning himself at your ass.

“Please...please don’t do this!” you pleaded, the pill’s effect slipping for the tiniest of moments.

Steve grabbed your neck with just enough force to pause, not hurt.” Best be a good girl now, sweetheart,” he warned.

Ransom slid in first, “Holy fucking shit!” he moaned, “Sam owes me $40.

“That depends on how well their bride is taking to them,” Steve pointed out.

“Eh, we’ll say ours is better.”

Ransom moaned again once he bottomed out and grabbed the globes of your blessed backside. He couldn’t wait to grab and smack it around in their quarters.

Steve moved slowly causing both of your breathing to hitch, his from pleasure and yours from slight pain.

With a grin and smirk, they started moving in tandem. Your body almost couldn’t take the immense pleasure you were feeling.

“I could get used to this,” Ransom remarked.

“Well, we have the week,” Steve breathed past your ear.

Both kept at it until they came in you twice. You nearly passed out after your twelfth orgasm.

“Rest kitten,” Ransom purred as you finally gave in to your exhaustion.

“The bride took to our seed,” Steve reported to Director Pierce.

“Good. We found their parents along with the rest of the resistance.” Pierce imparted.

Steve scowled at the information.

You and your friend, Isabeau, were the only ones to survive the Eve Project. HYDRA wanted to genetically groom compatible brides for their top soldiers. You were promised to Steve and Ransom and your friend to Bucky and Sam. Both of you were whisked away to another Earth by the resistance and your treacherous parents.

Now you were back where you belong.

“When do we leave?” Ransom growled.

“Once Strange and Wanda crack the protection spell. In the meantime, enjoy your bride.” Pierce turned to leave, but stopped before turning off the screen,” I want to see some little ones soon.”

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wolvesofinnistrad · 5 years

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Hey pls can you do a canon for the first time Callum gives Ben a BJ!!!

Ok, technically I think this already happened during the park hookup so I'll kind of split the difference..

That first night at the park Callum is wild.

His hands are everywhere, his mouth stays latched to Ben’s unless the other man pulls away.

He can’t get enough of him, intoxicated, lost in the moment of giving in.

There’s a hunger there, deep and yearning that he didn’t realize was this strong because of how long he’d denied himself but the moment he gave in just a little it came crashing down.

That’s why he was already undoing Ben’s belt buckle, not because he had a plan, but because he just needed every part of Ben right now.

There’s a thunk against his back and he realizes that he’s been pushed up against a tree.

H’s got his hand wrapped around Ben in his pants and Ben’s been storking him over his own, but suddenly Ben pulls away.

Callum whines but then Ben is dropping to his knees with a glint in his eye and Callum almost loses it right then.

Ben sucks the life out of him through his cock and its the closest thing to a religious experience Callum’s ever had.

His fingers are still locked in Ben’s hair when he finally starts to come down from orgasm, panting and sweating.

But now it’s his turn, and he doesn’t know how to do this, not really, but the moment he regains his composure he’s turning them around, pushing Ben into the tree instead.

“You don’t have to.” Ben says, soft, a little unassuredly.

“I want to.” It’s all Callum can say before he’s leaning in, tasting Ben on his tongue.

Remember Callum was a virgin before Whitney and he’s never been with a dude so he’s got hardly any experience.

But he did just have cocksucker extraordinaire Ben go down on him, so he tries to replicate what he remembered happening to him.

The taste is new, salty, sweaty, but somehow still making his mouth water at just the idea of what he’s doing.

He can’t think too much or he might chicken out so he just goes with it, sucking and bobbing inarticulately in a pale imitation of Ben.

Objectively Ben knows this isn’t a good blowjob but... There’s something about it, Callum’s eagerness, the tension between them, that’s making him lose his mind over it anyway.

“Cal, fuck,” Ben moans, thrusting his hips up.

That catches him off guard and he gags, having to pull off to catch his breath.

“Sorry...” Ben breathes, forgetting for a moment who he was with, not just some random hook up, but Callum.

“S’okay,” Callum whispers, voice already sore and raw before he goes back down.

This time he takes his hands and presses Ben’s hips to the tree, pinioning him as his mouth works up and down Ben’s cock, taking as much as he can handle.

The little hint of control Callum exerts gets Ben going and he groans, fingers in Callum’s hair.

He wants to grab him, hold him down on his cock or guide him up and down but he can’t, so he just stays like that enjoying what Callum gives.

Callum remember how good it felt when Ben was teasing his head so he pulls back, trying to work the head of Ben’s cock now that his foreskin has retracted some.

He can taste his precum now and its so weird to know what that tastes like now, but he’s focusing on his task.

It’s sloppy and messy, but Ben begins to openly whimper and his fingers clutch harder at Callum’s hair so he knows he must be doing something right.

He can hear Ben’s breathing picking up and he starts going faster, just bobbing on Ben’s cock up and down, back and forth.

“Cal! Callum I’m gonna....”

Callum hears but he keeps going, he wants to do what Ben did for him, take him all the way there.

Of course Callum doesn’t know how to swallow as Ben cums so he kind of just holds all that cum in his mouth with an awkward face.

FInally Ben looks down, eyes soft and crinkling at the edges and laughs.

“You can spit it out.”

Callum does, thankful, but before he can do anything else Ben is dragging him bakc up for another heated kiss, and he can taste their combined releases on their tongues as they mingle.

Callum doesn’t want it to stop.

Callum’s first time sucking Ben’s cock after admitting he’s gay.

By now they’ve already had sex a few times.

Ben has blown Callum a lot, and they’ve done anal, frotting, handjobs.

But Callum hasn’t blown Ben again, not yet anyway.

It’s not like he’s avoiding it, it just hasn’t come up.

One day though he decides enough is enough.

They’re on the bed, watching a movie on Ben’s laptop as Callum starts kissing at his ear, his neck.

Ben chuckles, fingers caressing Callum’s face, but still watching the movie.

Callum puts a hand on Ben’s chest, rubbing for a moment before sliding down down down to cup his bulge.

“Callum...” It’s a little whispered moan from Ben and his eye are shutting and Callum knows what he wants today.

He’s working this one spot on Ben’s neck that makes the man mewl as he unzips him and fishes out his cock.

Callum raises his hand to his mouth and spits in his pam before going back, using it as a little lube to ease things as he strokes Ben to full hardness.

“That’s so... BLoody hot,” Ben moans. He kicks his laptop shut, movie forgotten now.

Callum is experienced with Ben’s dick now, he knows what Ben likes, for the most part, how it feels in his hand, the heft and weight of it, but he wants to know more.

He straddles Ben’s thighs, ripping open the buttons on Ben’s shirt before kissing over his chest.

Ben’s breath is coming in stutters as Callum finds a nipple and latches onto it, sucking and biting like Ben has done to him, all the while still slowly stroking his cock.

Ben normally considers himself a powerbottom, but he has to admit that when Callum takes control he kind of loses it. There’s something about that man who’s so soft and docile normally taking charge that riles Ben like nothing else.

“Fuck me... Fuck,” Ben pleads, fingers in Callum’s hair.

Callum just leans in and kisses Ben, effectively shushing him before working on the opposite nipple.

He loves hearing Ben moan, watching his body react beneath his fingers.

Ben’s poor cock is weeping already, every stroke making more precum gush from his slit.

Slowly Callum crawls backwards down the bed, hooking his fingers in Ben’s pants and pulling them down and off.

Ben thinks hes about to get fucked, which he’s so ready for, but then Callum grips the base of his shaft and starts licking at the head and he groans in pleasure.

Callum is still not sure how this works in practice, even if Ben’s done it a lot to him and he’s done it once to Ben.

He wants to be good though, to make Ben feel good, to learn how to pleasure him the way Ben does him.

Long, slow licks up and down the shaft, from root to tip, kisses, he tries everyhting he can think of.

He hum as he wraps his lips around Ben’s cock, taking him down as much as he can.

Cal tries to speed up, but after a few moments he gags again and has to pull off.

That’s when he sees Ben’s got his fingers curled in the bedsheets so hard it looks like he might rip them and he remembers how Ben had his fingers in his hair the entire time before.

This gives him and idea and he reaches for Ben’s hands, gently unlocking them before guiding them to his head.

“What?”

“Show me. Teach me,” Callum says, looking up at Ben with earnest enthusiasm.

Ben’s never been more turned on in his entire fucking life than watching Callum Highway stare up at him and ask to be taught how to suck cock.

Ben nods, one hand in Callum’s hair. He gently presses cAllum down, not too much pressure, just enough to guide him.

Callum takes Ben’s head in his mouth, licking and sucking..

Ben shivers and moans, fingers gripping tighter as he pulls Callum up, then presses back down again, showing him the rhythm he likes.

“If you can’t, can’t take it all you, fuck, you use your hand to work the rest,” Ben says, biting his lip as he takes Callum’s hand and puts it on his cock.

Once Callum is stroking him while his mouth works the rest Ben isn’t sure how much longer he can last.

“IN time you can t-take more, fuck, but for now this is good toooo~”

It’s hard to focus on instructing when Callum’s getting better by the minute which means Ben can’t think straight.

“You can work the balls too, lick, suck, fondle...”

Callum pulls off to do that, but returns his mouth to sucking on the tip while his hands work the shaft and Ben’s balls.

Ben actually can’t take much more.

He starts guiding Callum to bob up and down again, getting faster and faster, but still mindful of not gagging Callum.

Callum loves it, loves the way Ben is moaning wantonly, loves knowing that Ben is showing him what he likes, giving him the gift of that knowledge so he can use ti to make his boyfriend feel just as good.

And he plans on getting good enough that he can wreck Ben with just a few sucks like Ben can do to him.

He’s massaging Ben’s balls which he can feel getting tight and drawing up, twisting his wrist to jerk Ben off faster.

Ben keeps guiding his head and Callum uses hsi tongue to stimulate the underside of Ben’s cock as much as he can as his lips glide over the glans repeatedly.

“Cal!” is all Ben shouts before he’s cumming down CAllum’s throat.

This time Callum is more prepared, and while he can’t exactly swallow it all, some leaks out the sides of his mouth, eventually he does manage to swallow down the rest.

When he pulls away theres a string of saliva and cum connecting his lips to Ben’s cock and Ben has to take a mental picture of the literal hottest thing he’s ever seen.

Callum leans bakc down, sucking on the head, clenaing it off and giving him a few more strokes until he hears Ben hiss.

Ben’s breathing is ragged, he looks fucked out like they just had mindblowing sex, and he guesses they did.

“God help me once you can do that on your own, Ill be dead,” Ben says, resting against the headboard, out of breath.

Callum smirks, moving up to lay on hos boyfriend and kiss him stupid.

“I can, I can return the favor just, gimme a minute. Kinda sucked out my soul there like a fucking dementor.”

Callum laughs and kisses his idiot nerd boyfriend again.

“DOn’t have to. I don’t always return it, sometime it can just be one of us wanting to take care of the other, yeah?”

Ben’s eyes get a bit glossy at that, he’s used to giving and not receiving in return, but not used to getting and not returning.

With Callum though, it feels okay, like someone wants ot make him feel good and that’s all that matter.

“Alright.”

“Good, so, was I doing a good job?” Callum asks, nervous still.

“I said you drained me, best blowjob you’ve ever gave, and definitely top 5 all around. With some practice you’ll take every spot soon enough for fucks sake,” Ben laughs, and Callum does too, both of them trading lazy kisses as the afternoon wears on around them.

#ben mitchell #callum highway #ballum #my fic #headcanons #mine #benway

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fantasysuiteleague · 7 years

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Week 6: The Chokey

At the beginning of this week’s episode, Taylor rises from the depths of the bayou to remind us one more time that she has a Masters and Corinne is not here for the right reasons. While I applaud her resolve to get the last word and very much enjoyed the anxiety she gave Corinne while talking with Nick, this ultimately felt like a lazy waste of everyone’s time. Of course Nick knows that Corinne is lying but he doesn’t care because he makes the majority of his decisions based on his dick, and the rest based on whatever the producers want. So sure, he’ll begrudgingly go outside and get scolded by Taylor for falling for Corinne’s shtick because he has to at least pretend like he cares about and respects these women. But ultimately, he doesn’t. And so instead of spending an extra 3 hours getting some quality time with the remaining women, he cancels the cocktail party under the guise that he promised himself if he knew where his heart was, he wouldn’t waste anyone’s time. But then he wastes everyone’s time with a rose ceremony...

I’m really sad to see Alexis leave as I imagine everyone else in the house is as well seeing as she’s probably one of the only girls I’d even want to have a prolonged conversation with. If you told me that the aspiring dolphin trainer from Jersey would end up being my season favorite, I’d have told you to get that fake news out of my face. And yes, she’s not the right match for Nick but that’s not really the point of this show and like, who is Whitney?

An Orphan Emerges

The first stop on the International Bachelor Tour is the island of St. Thomas, where The OA gets her first 1-on-1 date immediately on arrival. They take a water plane to a private beach where Kristina begins to unravel her long awaited back story that explains her thick Russian accent. She’s only able to reveal she was adopted and has 8-9 brothers and sisters before Nick gets tired of the serious conversation and asks her to go swimming. Later that night, after a prep session with the producers, Nick starts to ask more targeted questions about her hometown in Russia and her parents.

In response, Kristina tells a horrifying and heartbreaking story of child abuse and abandonment of a 5 year old girl by a woman who surely had mental health issues. After a few years in a Russian orphanage (woof), she found a US family to adopt her and she was able to exchange a life of prostitution and a bleak gray country of despair for a colorful life in America where she can go on national TV and compete for the “love” of a man who wouldn’t know struggle if it smacked him in the face. Being unable to relate and without a producer near him to hold up a cue card so he can give an appropriate response, Nick says “wow that’s..wow.” To be fair, it’s a lot to take in for someone with such a small brain. He tries though, which leads to some classic Viall tears and Kristina getting the rose and officially becomes the Jubilee of this season: beautiful orphan who has been through way too much shit to put herself on this show alongside fame whores looking for their 15 minutes of fame. Get out of there, girl! You’re better than this and you deserve more than Weepy Nick and his dysfunctional dick.

Do you like to be choked?

I can’t tell if this date was set up to fail or if the producers were just too lazy to come up with a better idea for a group date, although I’m guessing this all went according to plan. We’ve reached the point in the season where everyone is emotionally exhausted after needlessly obsessing over an instagram model and competing for time and attention only to get seconds of feigned reassurance to “just be patient.” Foolishly, the girls think they’ll have more time with Nick on the group date since there are fewer people to compete with, but instead they’re made to compete against each other all day. After the producers get everyone liquored up, they cruelly engage them in the absolute worst activity you could give tired drunk girls: beach volleyball. Having been on a spring break or two and found myself playing drunk beach volleyball I can confirm that this shit “fun” for about 30 seconds. The girls are #sports about the whole thing for awhile, but tired drunk girls can only take so much before they crack and say:

While Rachel is the first to really put her foot down and say “fuck this, I’m out,” everyone quickly follows suit and retreats to their respective corners to cry (or nap) until it’s time for round 2. Nick pulls Rachel aside first because he knows she’s smarter than most and could tell she was done with this shit, which gives him anxiety because up until this point he was under the impression that everyone would want to be with him and this would all definitely work out. But ... Rachel doesn’t want to be with him? I mean, come on. He’s Nick Viall. Either way, she certainly is done with this show and all the game, and he gets it, to an extent, as he tells her that she should still stick around because even though she hates this (him), he “thinks something great can happen.” AKA, she can be the first Blachelorette and he can get credit for making it happen.

Everyone else spends their time talking to Nick about how hard this is getting while Jasmine continues to unravel. She talks non-stop in a downward wine-fueled spiral about how Nick doesn’t see her; she’s never had a 1-on-1; she’s been to St. Thomas before so she doesn’t even need to be here; and wants to physically assault Nick. When Nick finally calls her off the bench, she absolutely blows it. Not that I had any faith in her playing it cool after the 5th time she mentioned getting violent with Nick, but like, wow. After repeating to Nick a condensed version of her earlier downward spiral, Jazzy hammers the final nail in her coffin when she repeats to Nick that she’s so frustrated she wants to choke him. And then she tries to choke him. Repeatedly.

To say that his conversation with Jasmine didn’t go well is an understatement, but she should have known that when you criticize the Bachelor for not paying enough attention to you, your time is probably up. Nick tries to gracefully wiggle away from Jasmine and apologize for dumping her, but she’s not buying his apology and doesn’t want his sympathy because she (like the rest of us) can see right through him. Then again, there’s not much to see other than a pair of pastel short shorts and raging insecurity, but here we are.

Beauty Doesn’t Always Win

In a move that puzzles everyone in the house and at home, Whitney and Danielle L. (or should I say D-Lo) are tapped for the second 2-on-1 date of the season. D-Lo is confused because Nick was really into her in the first few weeks of the show and she seemed like a front runner until this assignment. Whitney, on the other hand, is that beautiful shadow they cast every season to float around in the background and offer nothing worth airing until someone realizes she’s still around and it’s time for her to go. Nick has absolutely nothing of substance to say to her, but just tells her she’s beautiful and has a nice aura around her.

Nick stumbles through his breakup with Whitney after she questions his choice to keep D-Lo around because she doesn’t seem to think that D-Lo is right for Nick. Neither do Vanessa and Danielle M., who are sitting at home saying the same thing, leading me to wonder what has been going on behind the scenes that they aren’t showing us? Has she been a bitch? Can they tell she’s fake? Or is it just because she’s very stupid? Ultimately, I’m guessing it’s a combination between being dumb, fake, and unable to have a substantive conversation about anything. Take, for example, the beginning of her conversation word for word with Nick later that night:

Nick: I’m excited about tonight. It was a great first date

D-Lo: Yeah t was a great first date I had an incredible time

Nick: I don't think it's a moment I’ll ever forget, I just don’t know how many people in a lifetime will ever experience something quite like that

D-Lo: I know like looking back, dancing has kinda become our thing. It’s fun.

Nick: I certainly like that. It’s fun to goof around that way.

So. Much. LOL. D-Lo continues this awkward conversation by saying all the things she thinks she’s supposed to say at this point in the competition (like “it’s hard to be away from you” and “I like social things” and “I really have feelings for you” and I could totally see us together at the end of this,”) because she doesn’t have a brain and doesn’t seem to notice that Nick is sitting there looking painfully uncomfortable:

Finally, D-Lo tells Nick she’s falling in love with him and is so glad they’re on the same page, to which Nick responds that they are not, in fact, on the same page even though he really wanted it to work out with her because she’s so hot, but sadly he just cannot take one more minute of listening to her talk. And finally the reality of this whole week sets in for Nick: he can’t force himself to “fall in love” with a hot girl without a brain just going through the motions, and he might not be able to force these girls who are clearly better than him (Rachel, Kristina, Vanessa) to actually fall in love with him either. Realizing that he might be trying to hard, he retreats to the girls locker room to cry...

He proceeds to tell them how breaking up with one of the hottest girls made him realize this might not work out for him and at any moment he might just get up and leave ... and then he does. No one should feel bad for Nick at this point because he’s a pathetic baby bitch boy who, after parading himself around on this show 3 separate times, needs to take off that Livestrong band, stop trying to make people feel sorry for him, and get a real goddamn job.

Did you notice . . .

Jaimi’s dress at the rose ceremony was all sorts of wack

Nick’s sweater on his date with Corinne was also wack

It was refreshing to not have a Corinne-centered episode for once, although it looks like she’s going to make it all about Corinne again next episode.

Corinne’s face when Lorna, aka Black Raquel, shows up to essentially wait on Corinne. It was all very staged and edited and such an eye roll, but the look of horniness on her face at the beginning was great.·

The editing of the group date was incredibly sloppy and lazy. We didn’t see how things devolved after the volleyball game and if Nick talked to anyone or if he just retreated to his suite like the bitch he is. We also didn’t see Raven get the group date rose or see Nick tell them that he just dumped Jasmine. I can’t tell if it’s because Nick and the girls aren’t giving the producers enough material to work with, or all just refused to play along after that. Either way, bored.

Nick held that rose for a long time before not giving it to D-Lo·

“Maybe I just wasn’t perfect.” - D-Lol

Minority Report: And then, there was one.

#chris harrison #The Bachelor #bachelorabc #the final rose #fantasysuiteleague #nick viall #im bored

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junker-town · 6 years

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NFL Black Monday: What is it and what to expect when it comes in 2018

The NFL’s coaching carousel gets underway after Week 17 ends.

The NFL playoff race is red-hot this time of year, but for the teams that aren’t playing in January, there’s a different game going on. For fans of teams that won’t go to the playoffs, this is generally the time to start filling out draft boards and free agency wish lists. It’s also the time to look for new coaches once Black Monday passes.

Only one head coach has been fired midseason this year: The New York Giants canned Ben McAdoo, and by all accounts Marvin Lewis is on the way out with the Cincinnati Bengals. But plenty more will soon join them on Black Monday, the traditional firing day in the NFL.

What is Black Monday, and why is it called that?

It’s the day after the end of the regular season, when most bad teams fire their head coach and start searching for a new one. Of course, the name “Black Monday” is a bit of hyperbole, especially when compared to other days with a similar name. It’s a head coach looking for a new job, not the stock market crashing or customers rioting at retail stores the day after Thanksgiving. Nevertheless, the name stuck and has become something of a minor tradition in the NFL.

Black Monday, much like Christmas, seems to come earlier every year. Last season, we saw three head coach firings before the end of the season, when the Los Angeles Rams, Buffalo Bills, and Jacksonville Jaguars dismissed Jeff Fisher, Rex Ryan, and Gus Bradley, respectively. In 2015, Joe Philbin, Ken Whisenhunt, and Chip Kelly all got their walking papers well before Week 17.

What are the usual circumstances for a Black Monday firing?

You can generally see the warning signs come a mile away — with more access than ever in the social media era, head coach firings rarely come as a legitimate surprise these days. An underachieving team is the main component, along with players actively quitting on their coach, media reports of him losing the locker room, and a general sense of malaise.

You saw this play out earlier in the season, when the Giants’ constant drama led to McAdoo being shown the door. For the most part, a team would rather wait out the season before firing its coach, so it takes a special recipe of disaster to remove him in the middle of the year.

Who are the top candidates to be fired on Black Monday this year?

The 2017 season has been surprisingly light on midseason firings, but Black Monday could be a bumper crop with lots of teams that didn’t meet expectations and obvious lame ducks strewn across the league. Let’s take a look at the men on the hot seat.

Hottest of hot seats

Chuck Pagano, Indianapolis Colts — Andrew Luck didn’t play a single down this season, but even with that mulligan, 2017 exposed Pagano as a man with no plan and no ideas. A lot of blame does lie with former GM Ryan Grigson for building such a poor roster, but despite knowing he probably wouldn’t have Luck at all, it’s shocking how unprepared Pagano’s team looked every week. The Colts blew seven halftime leads this year, which just shouldn’t happen with any coaching staff that knows how to close out games.

Pagano has had a genuinely inspiring comeback from cancer, but it’s clear he just isn’t cut out for this job.

John Fox, Chicago Bears — Losing double-digit games with a rookie quarterback is one thing, but it feels like Fox purposely tries to put the least watchable team possible on the field every week. After three years, it’s pretty obvious that this is the team Fox wants, and it’s not a team that can win games in today’s NFL. Maybe the Bears can find a coach who’s interested in using Mitchell Trubisky, who we still don’t know is actually good or not.

Don't be shocked if Trubisky pulls a Goff and looks like a real QB with a real coaching staff next year. Or the Bears hire a Ryan brother, honestly could go either way.

— Jon Benne (@LordBenne) December 16, 2017

Jim Caldwell, Detroit Lions — Any lingering goodwill Caldwell might’ve had evaporated after Week 16, when the Lions suffered an embarrassing loss to the Cincinnati Bengals and knocked themselves out of playoff contention. The local media has since sharpened the knives, with the Detroit Free Press calling the loss “inexcusable” and Pride of Detroit saying it’s time to move on. For general manager Bob Quinn, this might be the ideal time to find his own head coach rather than stick with a holdover coach he didn’t hire. The Lions could really use some new blood as they keep wasting away Matthew Stafford’s prime years.

Moderately hot

Dirk Koetter, Tampa Bay Buccaneers — It’s probably not a good sign when the head coach has to deny reports of tension between himself and quarterback Jameis Winston. But that’s where the Bucs find themselves in a season where they were supposed to take a big step forward but faceplanted instead. Defensive coordinator Mike Smith also shouldn’t be off the hook after the way the Bucs defense collapsed this year.

Mildly warm

Jack Del Rio, Oakland Raiders — Much like Koetter, Del Rio’s team had big expectations entering the season and failed to live up to them. The Raiders’ fall is even more sudden after going 12-4 and ending their playoff drought last year. Derek Carr went from an MVP candidate to looking like just a guy, while Amari Cooper horribly regressed and the defense is still bad despite having Khalil Mack. Del Rio already fired his defensive coordinator, which might be enough to get one more year, but he’s under the gun now.

Mike Mularkey, Tennessee Titans — How do you make Marcus Mariota boring? That’s what Mularkey somehow managed to do, as he and his coaching staff fielded a painfully unwatchable offense despite obvious skill-position talent. The Titans are still in the playoff picture, but if they miss out after an 8-4 start, then Mularkey has some questions to answer.

Bill O’Brien, Houston Texans — Not every team is going to survive losing their franchise QB in early October, but the way the Texans curled up and died after Deshaun Watson tore his ACL is kinda startling. They’ve been 1-7 since then, trotting out Tom Savage and T.J. Yates as metaphorical white flags.

In fairness to O’Brien, he was dealt an awful hand with injuries this season. (The quarterbacks, J.J. Watt, and Whitney Mercilus are just the tip of the iceberg). However, there was reported tension between him and general manager Rick Smith, including concerns about him being the right fit for Watson’s skill set. Combine that with the Texans’ worst record since 2013 — right before O’Brien was hired — and this could lead to a clash of egos when all is said and done.

Jay Gruden, Washington — I don’t think Gruden is actually getting fired, but in Washington your job is only as safe as whatever mood Dan Snyder is in that day. Plus, Gruden’s teams have gone from 9-7 to 8-7-1 to 7-8, showing little signs of upward trajectory despite being one of the few teams with a stable franchise quarterback. We’ll see how safe Gruden really is if Washington loses Kirk Cousins to free agency.

Vance Joseph, Denver Broncos — One-and-done firings are still pretty rare, but Joseph might be the strongest contender this year. The Broncos’ defense-first plan fell apart because they have no quarterback, and Joseph already offered up former OC Mike McCoy as a sacrificial lamb. In addition, John Elway hasn’t been shy about throwing his weight around, and he isn’t mincing words about his dissatisfaction. Elway should probably get more heat for the quarterback situation (Paxton Lynch, last year’s first-round pick, already looks like a lost cause), but Joseph still has a lot to prove if he survives this year.

Other names to watch

Hue Jackson, Cleveland Browns — He’s about to go 1-31 in two years, but Cleveland’s situation is way too chaotic to make a solid guess either way. Bruce Arians, Arizona Cardinals — Dogged by retirement rumors most of the year, he could well take his leave with Arizona’s contention window closing. Mike McCarthy, Green Bay Packers — He should probably be sending Aaron Rodgers gift baskets every Christmas. Jason Garrett, Dallas Cowboys — How much longer will Jerry Jones put up with his aggressive mediocrity?

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